How to: pick your nose inconspicuously

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From the increasingly ubiquitous wikiHow, tips for those who've got something inside (their nostril) and just can't hide it. Admit it: we've all had a rock or two lodged up in there that couldn't wait until the next strategic bathroom trip to be removed. But how to excavate without being found out?

As of today, at nearly all social levels, overt nosepicking is forbidden. Never perform a visual examination on whatever it is you have extracted from your nose! This is most amateurish and is one of the most common ways of getting caught.

The Thumb-Finger Method (super advanced)

1. Position the index finger of the opposite-side hand alongside the exterior of the obstructed channel.
2. Nonchalantly slip the thumb as deep as necessary into the nostril.
3. Using the thumbnail, delicately clamp onto the dried mucous mass.
4. Slowly withdraw the thumb and its payload from the nostril. At this step in the process be particularly vigilant for any trailing mucous which might be attached to the payload. These un-noticed "stringers" can jeopardize the entire operation.
5. Return the hand to a more natural position and discreetly execute a flicking motion with the thumb. This should launch the material sufficiently far away from you that it becomes someone else's problem.

For more ideas, including the Advanced Hand-Guard Method and the Athletic Nose-Blow, check out the How.

April 17, 2007 - 10:00am
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