The Quick 10: 10 Strange Christmas Songs
It won’t be long before you’re totally sick of jingling bells, angels on high and drummer boys. But how about Wookiees? There’s a bunch of Christmas songs out there that don't get ridiculously overplayed at the holidays - here are a few of the stranger ones. I’m sure you have your own favorite weirdo holiday tunes, so be sure to share (recommend?) them in the comments.
1. "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)" May I suggest conditioner? Christmas in the Stars was a 1980 holiday album aimed at Star Wars fanatics.
2. “A Spaceman Came A-Travelling.” How do you follow up a smash hit like “Lady in Red”? Chris de Burgh did it by imagining the angel Gabriel came to tell the people of the world about the baby Jesus… in a spaceship.
3. "Santa's a Fat B****.” It would appear not everyone loves the jolly, chubby man in red – Insane Clown Posse certainly doesn’t. The lyrics are a little explicit (you probably already guessed that) so I’ll let you Google them for yourselves.
4. “A Visit From St. Nicholson.” It would be sort of awesome if Jack Nicholson came down your chimney wearing sunglasses and stopped to watch the Lakers game with you, wouldn’t it? That’s what comedian Bob Rivers imagined when he wrote this little piece. It’s not actually a song – it’s recited in the manner of the original, “A Visit From St. Nick.”
5. “The Night Santa Went Crazy.” No list like this is complete without a Weird Al song. It’s pretty dark – Santa loses it, shooting up the North Pole, killing most of his reindeer, tying up the elves and dying in a gory shootout at the end (in one version, anyway – in another he just gets 700 years in jail).
6. "Naughty Christmas (Goblin in the Office)." Fat Les captures what happens when you drink too much of the spiked eggnog at the office Christmas party.
7. "Monsters' Holiday." When you find a cash cow, you gotta keep on milking it. And that’s just what Bobby “Boris” Pickett did. After the novelty song “Monster Mash” was a smash hit for Halloween, he figured that monsters could celebrate the holidays just as well as anyone and released “Monsters’ Holiday” immediately after. Although it hit #30 on the Billboard charts, it never gained the popularity that “Monster Mash” did.
8. "I Farted on Santa's Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink for Me)." When a song starts with, “Mom made beans for dinner, you know I ate ‘em all/said ‘Come get your coat on, we’re going to the mall” you pretty much know what you’re in for. It’s by the Little Stinkers, and yes, it’s on iTunes if you’re morbidly curious.
9. "Christmas at Kmart.” This Root Boy Slim song is what landed him a $250,000 record deal with Warner Brothers.
10. “Funky Funky Christmas.” OK, compared to the others on this list, this one isn’t that weird. But I’m so amused by this video that I had to share it. Check out the New Kids in all of their glory!