Reality show ideas. You know you have them. They come to you in dreams or in traffic or during commercials. Some people ignore them, some people sue when others bring them to life, and some people head West with a treatment and a ticket to a pitch slam. Others broadcast their ideas online, hoping either to be praised, discovered, or ripped off. Here, in no particular order, are five shows you may–in some alternate universe or, hey, some slightly distant future–find yourself TiVoing.

1. THE SHOW: a game show called “Dirty Laundry”

SOURCE: Craigslist, 10/4/07
TREATMENT EXCERPT:

The game is pretty simple really: You have 3 contestants in a laundromat. There are 3 machines of laundry that will be spinning. 2 of the machines have clean clothes and the remaining machine contains dirty clothes. Each contestant picks a machine. The contestants who pick the clean laundry are safe and move to the next round. The contestant who picks the dirty laundry isn’t so lucky! The audience will scream, “DIRTY…LAUNDRY…!!!!!” and then the “laundry monster” (a man covered in dirty clothes) will drop from an opening in the ceiling. Upon landing, he will chase the losing contestant until he is able to wrestle him to the ground. The contestant will be pummeled into submission for around 5 minutes and then a medical staff will carry him out on a stretcher and then transfer him to a trash chute that in actuality leads to an office where the contestant will receive a gift bag and parking validation.

2. THE SHOW: 10 regular guys attempt to fight Mike Tyson

THE SOURCE: Chris’ Sports Blog
THE PITCH:

My reality show idea: Get 10 guys. Get Mike Tyson. Have each guy fight Mike Tyson at separate times. Whichever guy can stand up/maintain consciousness in a bout with Iron Mike gets $1 million. Mike Tyson’s hard-up for cash and plenty of guys would want to do this. And everybody would watch. Why do you think there’s always back-ups at car wrecks? You could spread the show out over 10 weeks, and maybe have a finale where the Top 2 guys fight him again. I’m telling you. This would be huge.

3. THE SHOW: “How to Solve the Singles Crisis”

THE SOURCE: My Urban Kvetch
PITCH EXCERPT:

No really, just hear me out…it seems like everyone has an answer to this singles crisis thing (which all stems from the fact that Jews–and let’s face it, almost everyone else too–are marrying and procreating later). So let’s start an open application process. Apply with your idea, then we take seven winners and present them to Shmuley Boteach, who puts them through a series of challenges. The losers are dismissed with the show’s tagline: “You have failed the Jewish people. But not as much as the single women in their 30s who ‘chose’ to stay single and could have had seven babies by now.”

4. THE SHOW: “You Bum!”

THE SOURCE: This Blog is Full of Crap
PITCH EXCERPT:

Twelve homeless people are picked up off the streets of various cities and forced to compete for food, shelter, and medical care.

5. THE SHOW: “Celebrity Community Service”

THE SOURCE: Associated Content
PITCH EXCERPT:

Premise: Six well known celebrity offenders will compete for the opportunity to have one offense, for which they have been convicted, permanently expunged from their record.

They must live together in “The Pen” (a luxury house in the Hollywood Hills decorated in a style best described as “penitentiary chic”) for a period of thirty days. They will bunk three to a room. Their bed assignments will be identified by the framed renditions of their mug shots hung above, and said bed assignments will not be negotiable.