Comments on: Eats, Shoots & Costs a Company $2.13 Million

By: Tracey

Tracey — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 17:01:51 +0000

Seen in Reader’s Digest many, many years ago:
The young marketting agent disagreed with his boss who insisted on the use of quotation marks in their media to convey emphasis.

“Quotation marks”, Mr.Jones explained, “draw attention to key words, and reinforce concepts about our product in the consumers’ minds.”

Undeterred the young man offered his own example.

“Imagine reading your name in the society page of the newspaper. The headline reads, ‘Mr. Jones was seen leaving the Park Hotel with his pretty young “wife” ‘.

By: Misty

Misty — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 03:24:51 +0000

I had seen this one years ago and found it at the above website. It’s pretty good!!

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me
for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings
whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will
you let me be yours?

Gloria

versus

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me.
For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings
whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will
you let me be?
Yours,

Gloria

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:20:53 +0000

Wow. You would expect this mistake from your co-worker in the adjacent cube, not from a contract lawyer.

By: Mangesh

Mangesh — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 16:01:06 +0000

heh… my cousin made up a joke a few years ago that’s kind of a good grammar joke. It went something like this: there’s a guy who’s severely constipated so he decides to take half his bowels out, and when his friend asks him why, he says “because I prefer a semi-colon to a full stop.”

By: Milton

Milton — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 15:09:05 +0000

No, the funniest grammar joke is about the young priest, crying as he comes up from the underground literary morgue, and, when asked why the tears, replies: “the word was ‘celibrate!”

By: Mangesh

Mangesh — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 18:36:57 +0000

heh… I tend to litter my language with the suckers, but I’ll definitely start paying more attention!

By: Simon

Simon — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 18:09:14 +0000

Here was the offending clause:

The agreement “shall continue in force for a period of five years from the date it is made, and thereafter for successive five year terms, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.”

The original intent (at least from Rogers’ point of view) was that it would be in five-year terms and you could cancel a five-year term by giving your notice one year before that five-year term would start. Unfortunately for them, that second comma makes the clause read that the contract can be canceled at any time, as long as a one year notice is given.

Watch your commas!