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Since you guys were so enthusiastic about mondegreens (or, for our new readers, misheard lyrics, like “’scuse me while I kiss this guy”), we thought we’d build on that for this week’s contest.
In my household, we always get annoyed when “Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues” comes on the radio — not because we don’t like the song, but because Bob Dylan obviously missed a major lyrical opportunity. Consider the line: “They got some hungry women there and they really make a mess outta you.” Clearly, the line should be “They got some hungry women there and they really make a meal outta you.”
Similarly, what were the Butthole Surfers thinking when they wrote “I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes?” Hellooo? “I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my nose,” anyone?
Anyway, I’m guessing that you guys have some of these too — lyrics you’ve improved on, lyrics you insist on singing your way in the car (or the shower or, God forbid, the karaoke bar). Email ‘em to us or leave them in the comments, and we’ll send the winning entrant a copy of Condensed Knowledge, in which he’ll learn (among other things) that “Every Breath You Take” is (a) not a love song, (b) perhaps not about stalking either, and (c) possibly a “subtle social commentary on what the group thought was ever-increasing interference by government into private lives.”
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My favorite is from my father who thought that the chorus of Neil Young’s “Ohio” was “Oh Daddy, Ohio” vs “Four dead in Ohio.”
posted by Karen on 8-14-2006 at 2:59 pm
In Watching the Detectives by Elvis Costello he says “She’s filing her nails while they drag in the lake” or something like that, anyway he should say “while they drag like a rake” But it’s still a fantastic song and I don’t really mind
posted by Eddie on 8-14-2006 at 3:09 pm
Cats in the Cradle
Instead of “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys, See you later, can I have them please?”", I always sing, “See ya later can I have ten [as in dollars] please.”
Hunh? No good?
posted by Lloyd Stewart on 8-14-2006 at 4:03 pm
*Steve Miller Band’s “Abracadabra”
Original line: “I feel the magic in your caress. I feel the magic when I touch your dress.”
Should be: “I feel the magic when I touch your breast.”
*Phish’s “Fee”
Original line: “Racing with the wind, you’re flirting with death. So have a cup of coffee and catch your breath.”
Should be: “So have a cup of coffee and a cigarette.”
posted by Bill T. on 8-14-2006 at 4:04 pm
when I was a kid, my mother (who does not have the best hearing) insisted on changing the lyrics from kenny logins’ “house at pooh corner” from “a honey jar stuck on his nose” to “honey BEE stuck UP his nose” (referring to the predicament of one Winnie the Pooh)
posted by moonablaze on 8-14-2006 at 4:06 pm
My mother, whose first language is Tagalog, insists on singing Elvis’ “I’m all shook up” as “amoy sukat” which, loosely translated, means something like “I smell like fish.”
posted by Melissa on 8-14-2006 at 4:52 pm
Here’s a good one…
An old college friend thought Billy Idols’ “Eye’s without a Face” was “I’ll supply the bait” – maybe too much beer???
posted by Val on 8-14-2006 at 4:59 pm
Instead of “Secret Agent Man” I sang “Secret Asian Man” as a kid. I always ordered by numbers while out for Chinese with my parents because I couldn’t pronounce the entrees, so “giving you a number” seemed to make sense. I never understood why he wanted my name though.
posted by Ann S. on 8-14-2006 at 5:21 pm
When Cracker’s song low first came out, I swore that they were singing one of the greatest lines ever written.
“Being with you girl is like being alone”
I must say that I was quite disappointed to find out that they were in fact singing this.
“Being with you girl is like being low.
______________
When my brother and I were kids, he swore that the chorus to Bananarama’s song “Cruel Summer” wasn’t
“It’s a cruel, cruel summer…” but “It’s a group, group sauna…”
He was only 6 at the time, so he had no idea what that would mean.
posted by Anthony on 8-14-2006 at 6:04 pm
One night after a particularly bad pun was told (and too much sugar), my friends and I butchered Guns and Roses “Welcome to the Jungle”, which became “Welcome to McDonalds”. It’s been so long that I can’t remember all the lyrics, but here’s a couple I can remember…
“Welcome to McDonalds / We got burgers and fries / we got everything you want / and we even supersize”
and
“s-s-s-s-s-s-shakes, shakes! / Mmmmm, I wanna watch you eat!”
We also butchered “Baby Got Back” that night, but it’s safe to say I couldn’t reprint those lyrics here (parental advisory).
posted by Jason on 8-14-2006 at 7:38 pm
When I was a little girl there was a song that my parents explained went:
Oh what you do to me, it’s so new to me.
After I sang it:
“Oh what you do to me, it’s so nudity”.
My parents got a charge from the changed lyrics, but they did correct me!
I don’t know the name of the song or who sung it…I was about 4 years old I guess.
posted by Patrica Bolgosano on 8-14-2006 at 9:16 pm
There is a song by a rapper “Lil Jon”
Oddly enough we still thought he would say “Snap ya bagels
Do ya spread
You can do it all by your self”
It is “Snap ya fingers
Do ya step
You can do it all by your self”
It was quite funny to be told that we were so wrong.
posted by Matt on 8-14-2006 at 9:35 pm
This may sound crazy but listen to it again, I swear it’s there:
“Fly” by Sugar Ray
Original: “My mother, god rest her soul.”
turns into
“My mother got arrested stoned”
posted by Emily on 8-14-2006 at 10:14 pm
In Matchbox 20’s “When You’re Gone” There’s this lyric:
“I think i’ve already lost you, I think you’re already gone.
I think I’m finally scared now, you think i’m weak, I think you’re wrong.”
I can’t be the only one who thought this should obviously have ended with “I think I’m strong”!
posted by Jason on 8-14-2006 at 10:23 pm
The lyrics are, “She’s a bad-mama-jama.”
I always thought they were singing, “She’s a wearing my pajamas.”
I swear my pal Kathy thought “Smoke on the water” was “Slow cousin Walter.”
Same pal thought Culture Club’s Karma Chameleon lyrics were: I’m a I’m a I’m a I’m a I’m a comedian.
…and the classic CCR mondegreen, “There’s a bad moon on the rise.” …at this point really should be, “There’s a bathroom on the right.”
posted by Dawn Lorraine on 8-14-2006 at 10:25 pm
“Your own inflatable Jesus.
Someone to hear your prayers,
with life-like hair.
to Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus”
posted by Anthony on 8-14-2006 at 10:50 pm
My friend Joey (at least I think it was him) used to change the words in Black Flag’s “Six Pack” to “Big Mac”. An example of the transformed lyrics would be:
“Thirty-one dollars and a Big Mac to my name/BIG MAC”
and
“I know it’ll be okay / I’ll get a Big Mac in me/ alright!”
posted by Jordan on 8-15-2006 at 12:03 am
Manic Street Preachers’ “So Why So Sad?”
Their words:
“Searching for the Dead Sea Scrolls…”
Misheard as:
“Searching for the Dexy’s Trolls…”
posted by Mary on 8-15-2006 at 2:37 am
I can’t hear that Shocking Blue oldie without thinking about someone I knew who’d happily sing along:
I’m your penis, I’m your fire, your desire.
posted by Randy on 8-15-2006 at 6:20 am
Rod Stewart’s “Every picture tells a story, don’t it” easily becomes “eight pitchers and a dozen donuts”
Then there’s “Big Old Jet Airliner” from the Steve Miller Band which can be heard as “Pink hotel with the light on”
posted by Wayne on 8-15-2006 at 7:53 am
Doobie Brother’s “Black Water”:
Although the real words are:
“I’d like to hear some funky dixieland pretty mama…”
my husband grew up thinking it was:
“I’d like to hear some funky dixie lampert mama…”
huh?
posted by Vicki on 8-15-2006 at 10:40 am
First line of “Killer Queen” by Queen:
She keeps a Moet et Chandon in her pretty cabinet
Misheard as:
She keeps a mower and shovel in her pretty cabinet
posted by Jill on 8-15-2006 at 1:24 pm
A line from “Sweet Home Alabama”
In Birmingham they love the governor.
Considering which governor they were probably talking about (”Segregation now…”) the line should be:
In Birmingham they hung the governor.
posted by Paul on 8-15-2006 at 2:50 pm
A friend of my mom’s used to think that the first line of The Star-Spangled Banner (”Oh, say can you see”)was actually “O sage of Kansas City.”
posted by Sammy on 8-15-2006 at 8:43 pm
my childhood friend convinced me, around the age of 8 that “Bring Me a Higher Love” was “Bake Me a Pie of Love” oohhhh. Until last year I thought that “Werewolves of London” was “Where Was the Thunder”. Also, my mother thought the line of a song was give a little kiss to your cousin THE FREAK, its actually give a little kiss to your cousin Dupree….I think.
posted by kerry on 8-16-2006 at 1:43 am
Fall Out Boys Song “Down” has a line that goes something like cock it and pull it,referring to a gun. I swear they say cooking the pudding
posted by kerry on 8-16-2006 at 1:48 am
listening to the anne murray cover of ‘daydream believer’ as a kid
i heard “the shaving razor’s cold and it stings”
as
“the chivas regal’s cold and it stings”
apparently I was obsessed with my dad’s after-dinner drinks. :)
that is my own oddity but i’m sure everyone has heard of kids asking “Who’s Round John Virgin?” during Silent Night (round yon virgin)…
posted by carolyn on 8-16-2006 at 9:20 am
When I was in the 9th grade, some of my friends and I wore silicone bras we bought at Express to give us a little something extra. We would always ask one another, “Are you silly today?” One day, we cleverly decided to rewrite the lyrics to Britney Spears’ song “Stronger.” Here goes:
Hush, just look. My boobies just got really big. Boo-bay. They bounce up and down. Everytime that I do a jig. Boo-bay.
You might think that they just grew…overnight, but now I’m sillier than yesterday. Now I’m bigger than a double A, and I don’t have to stuff tissues down my shirt.
‘Cause I’m sillier.
I used to be really flat, but then I went to Express, and that was that.
posted by Becky on 8-16-2006 at 9:33 am
From “Every Breath You Take”
Real line: How my poor heart aches
What I heard: I’m a pool hall ace
- Alos, A co-worker of mine thought that Def Leopard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” was “Pour Shook Ramen On Me”
posted by Dan on 8-16-2006 at 9:33 am
How about the line in Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean that sounds like “the chair is not my son”? I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be “the kid is not my son”, but I think Michael Jackson must have misread the music when singing it! Too right!
posted by Michelle on 8-16-2006 at 9:35 am
Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s “Taking Care of Business” sounded to my mother like it was “Taking Care of Sister.”
She also thought the chorus of Redbone’s “Come and Get Your Love” was “Southern Gits of Love.”
No word to date on what a “git of love” is and how southern ones may differ from others.
posted by Fred on 8-16-2006 at 9:43 am
I once thought Fogerty was singing “There’s a bathroom on the right” for “Bad Moon on the Rise.”
posted by John on 8-16-2006 at 9:49 am
I thought Michael Jackson was saying, “The chid is not my son.” Oh, well.
I babysat a little girl (about 4 at the time) who used to sing the line from Exile’s “Kiss You All Over” as, “Oh Lucky Shoe, Oh.” I didn’t correct her.
posted by Alice on 8-16-2006 at 9:59 am
My then 5 year old son had been listening to my husband’s Bob Dylan collection during a long car trip. When we arrived he was humming the tune to “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”. He started singing the words, which he always heard as “Knock,knock, knocking on Kevin’s door…”
posted by Alison on 8-16-2006 at 10:03 am
In the Red Hot Chillie Peppers song
Scar Tissue, they sang:
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
I thought they were singing:
Suck up to mister know it all
and when they sang:
Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
I thought they were singing:
With the birthing shed…
That’s what it sounded like to me, I knew it wasn’t that because it didn’t make sense. It used to frustrate me so much when it came on the radio, until I finally looked up the lyrics on the net…
posted by Cat Fleming on 8-16-2006 at 10:06 am
In Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” the lyrics go:
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I’ve lost my light
I always sing it:
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I’ve lost my hair
It just seems to fit better…
posted by Cat Fleming on 8-16-2006 at 10:12 am
Lee Greenwood’s song “Proud to Be an American” was one of my son’s favorite songs when he was little, but with a twist. “And I proudly stand up next to you” came out “I can hardly stand up next to you” when he belted out his pride!
posted by Faith on 8-16-2006 at 10:13 am
When my son was little, he thought that the words to the hymn, Onward Christian Soldiers, were “with the cross of cheese up” rather than “with the cross of Jesus.”
posted by jane on 8-16-2006 at 10:15 am
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band’s, “Blinded By The Light”
Misheard Lyrics:
Blinded by the light
Wrapped up like a douche
Into the ruler in the night…
Original Lyrics:
Blinded by the light
Revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night…
posted by Hillary Davis on 8-16-2006 at 10:17 am
When my nephew was around five he liked Pat Benatar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot, only he sang, “Kiss me with affection.”
Then my brother, when he was a teen, was not a fan of Journey, changed one of my favorites to “I come to you with broken arms.” I still can’t get that one out of my head when I hear it!
posted by Jena' Galifany on 8-16-2006 at 10:18 am
Both of my kids thought that the song “Big Yellow Taxi” was awful and couldn’t believe that I would leave the radio on when it was playing. I finally realized that they thought the line “paved paradise and put up a parking lot” was “paved paradise and put up a f***ing lot!”
posted by Joan on 8-16-2006 at 10:19 am
Train’s song Drops of Jupiter – for months I’d been singing the last line of the chorus as “looking for your sell-by date” –
until my husband linked me to the lyrics online which actually read “looking at your self out there”
Great song and great lyrics – like it even better now that I know what they are! But my girlfriends and I still sing “sell-by date”…
posted by julie on 8-16-2006 at 10:22 am
Two favorites:
Until very recently I though that the Phil Collins “She’s got that invisible touch, yeah..” was “She’s got that physical attraction.” Makes more sense that way!
Also, Elton John…”Hold me close, you tiny dancer…” instead of “Hold me close, I’m tired of dancing…” Again, makes mose sense the second way.
posted by Erin on 8-16-2006 at 10:23 am
beatles “lucy in the sky with diamonds”.
the song goes…. the girl with kaleidoscope eyes is mis-heard as “the girl with colitis goes by”. pretty funny huh?
posted by steve matza on 8-16-2006 at 10:24 am
Of course the ever popular misunderstood Def Leppard lyric from “Women” –
Correct: What’s that spell.
Misunderstood: What’s that smell.
posted by Jena Galifany on 8-16-2006 at 10:26 am
Oh, come on… what about Manfred Mann’s “Blinded By the Light”?? This was a remake of a Bruce Springstein song, but something definitely got lost in translation when they sang this line:
“Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night”
Without being inappropriate, it really and truly sounds like they are saying:
“Blinded by the light,
wrapped up like a douche
another boner in the night”
For years I wondered what deep meaning this must have had to Manfred for him to sing with such passion about a douche
posted by Jessica on 8-16-2006 at 10:28 am
My college boyfriend, who was a sports nut, insisted on singing the song “I Never Knew Love Like This Before” as “I never knew love like a basketball”.
posted by Ginny on 8-16-2006 at 10:30 am
My mother thought the chorus to CCR’s ‘Bad Moon Rising’ was “There’s a bathroom on the right” as opposed to “There’s a bad moon on the rise”. My husband’s version of the chorus to The Tokens’ ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ (A-weema-weh A-weema-weh)is “My finger’s wet, my finger’s wet”. And his take on this line from The Eagles’ ‘Take it Easy’ – Lookin’ for a lover who won’t blow my
cover – is “Lookin’ for a lover who won’t blow my rubber”.
posted by Chris on 8-16-2006 at 10:41 am
I always thought Jefferson Starship’s (I think it was theirs)”I’m Your Venus” was “I’m your fetus,” and I couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to write a song about a fetus–but figured it was the drugs.
posted by Lauri on 8-16-2006 at 10:41 am
Bus Stop by the Hollies
Original line: “All the people stared as if we were both quite insane”
Should be: “All the people stared as if we were from Planet Zane.”
insanity and alien-looking…fine line between.
posted by katie on 8-16-2006 at 10:42 am
Manfred Manns Earth Band Blinded by the Light.
I thought it was Blinded by the light wrapped up like a douche.
Its revved up like a deuce.
I was only ten had no idea what a douche was.After 25 yrs I still thinkthey sing douche.
posted by Brenda on 8-16-2006 at 10:44 am
I always liked “Slow-motion Walter, the fire engine guy,” as a misheard interpretation of “Smoke on the water, a fire in the sky.”
Even better, the Barenaked Ladies took the misheard lyrics and used them as a line in their song, “Tonight Is The Night I Fell Asleep At The Wheel.”
posted by Jane on 8-16-2006 at 10:45 am
A friend of mine misheard the chorus from Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer”:
Actual lyric:
“Hold me closer tiny dancer…”
What he heard:
“Hold me close, I’m tryin’ to dance here…”
posted by Kelly on 8-16-2006 at 10:47 am
I also always assumed that the lyric in The Mamas and the Papas song “California Dreamin’” was “Well, I got down on my knees, and I began to pray.”
When I found out that the correct lyric is, “Well, I got down on my knees, and I pretend to pray,” I was so disappointed by their disregard for verb tense that I have continued to sing my version of the song.
posted by joeyjoejoe on 8-16-2006 at 10:49 am
Warned by her parish priest that teen songs were becoming obscene (and it was Mom’s contention that teenagers should be obscene and not heard), Mom was shocked to hear on the radio “Penis in blue jeans…” It ws years before she got the “Venus” part right and many more years before she could admit what she had thought she heard!
posted by Katy Dycus on 8-16-2006 at 10:52 am
From “I’m A Believer,” by The Monkees.
The actual line is, “Not a trace of doubt in my mind.”
But I heard, “Not a trace hooked out in my mind.”
The meaning was the same, except that “hooked out in my mind” is not, as far as I know, an expression that any person anywhere has used ever.
I think this also qualifies as an eggcorn.
posted by Alex on 8-16-2006 at 10:54 am
A classic…Manfred Mann’s Blinded by the Light…I thought it was:
Blinded by the light,
Wrecked up like a douche,
Another roller in the night
instead of:
Blinded by the light,
Rewed up like a deuce,
Another runner in the night
And I remember when I learned that Clarence Clearwater was actually Creedence Clearwater!
posted by Donna on 8-16-2006 at 10:54 am
Remember Desmond Dekker’s big hit “Israelites”? For the longest time my friend and I sang the chorus as “my ears are alight”.
posted by Jane on 8-16-2006 at 10:55 am
With all of the controversy about illegal aliens I am surprised that no one has reported the first line of the Star Spangled Banana as “Jose can you see . . .”
posted by Steve on 8-16-2006 at 10:56 am
Years ago my mother watched the old 1930s version of Titanic. The ship was slowly sinking and the third class passengers were huddling on the deck singing along as the band played “This Consecrated Cross I Bear,” but my mom heard them singing dolefully…
“This constipated cross-eyed bear”
posted by Liz on 8-16-2006 at 10:56 am
I’m fond of 2 classic oldies. “Doodie in the skies” and “Secret Asian Man”… cause you know he “be gibbon you da number, and tekken way your pain?”
posted by DampeS8N on 8-16-2006 at 10:57 am
Ok,
In response to Kerry, no one understands any of Fall Out Boy’s lyrics. That boy needs to enunciate better.
My favourite misunderstood song, I don’t even know who sings it, but it gets butchered every time our group has a party where there is a stereo.
“Blinded by the light…wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night”
Who cares what the real words are, just go with it!
posted by Mel on 8-16-2006 at 11:03 am
Hope I don’t get in trouble for not knowing the real lyric, but I still can’t figure out what it is…
Billy Idols’ “Love Calling”, during the second chorus, sings what sounds to me and all my friends like “mooses clapping sticks, turns us into snake…hot…” well, no need to finish. Clearly wrong. Any idea what it should be?
posted by Lisa on 8-16-2006 at 11:05 am
On Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love For You” did anybody else hear “I’m shaving off my muff for you”?
posted by Mike Wiabel on 8-16-2006 at 11:06 am
One time my brother and I were listening to “Boys of Summer.” When they said, “I saw a Deadhead sticker on a cadillac,” my brother said, “That’s gross! A dead head sticking on a cadillac?”
I had to explain to him what a “Deadhead” was.
posted by Bryan on 8-16-2006 at 11:06 am
To this day I still think they are singing “I’ve been saved by the sound of Michael’s song” and not the supposedly correct lyrics “mama say, mama saw, mama kusaw” in Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Starting Somethin’.”
posted by Michael on 8-16-2006 at 11:14 am
Elton John’s Tiny Dancer really should be, and sounds like:
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you’ll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she’s in me, always with me, TONY DANZA in my hand
posted by Bob on 8-16-2006 at 11:20 am
I always thought the lyrics to Pearl Jam’s “Black” went like this:
“Her legs spread out before me, as her body lay dead.”
I could never understand why the song was so popular, considering the creepiness of that line, and the fact that I thought it was about a guy lamenting that he’d killed his girlfriend.
It wasn’t until much later that I actually READ the lyrics, and realized that it’s really:
“Were laid spread out before me, as her body once did.”
Still kinda creepy, though.
posted by Michaela on 8-16-2006 at 11:21 am
I always hated System Of A Down’s “Chop Suey”…not only musically, but the fact it sounded like nonsensical gibberish. So instead of the lyrics “wake up, grab a brush and put on a little make up, hide the scars to fade away the shake-up”, I insisted in telling people the lyrics were “face it, I got a really good voice but I waste it, I sing so fast that you can’t hear the lyrics”.
posted by Jason on 8-16-2006 at 11:24 am
My friend thought the first line of the Gilmore Girls theme song (’If you’re out on the road…’) said ‘Get your ass on the road…’
posted by Jessica on 8-16-2006 at 11:24 am
For years my husband thought the words to “Start me Up” By The Rolling Stones was Pistachio. Don’t ask me how he got through Jr High singing that at the top of his lungs without getting trash canned but we still get a kick out of it everytime it plays now.
posted by JennyB on 8-16-2006 at 11:31 am
My favorite comes from my best friend in High School. Van Halen released “Jump” and for some time my friend insisted it was titled “Junk” and would shout it out each time it was played on the radio.
posted by mark marchand on 8-16-2006 at 11:32 am
In Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone,” he sings “threw the bumbs a dime in your prime. Didn’t you!” I’ve heard “do the bump and grind in your time. Didn’t you.”
posted by ergo123 on 8-16-2006 at 11:36 am
There’s an old Smith’s song, I think its called “There is a Light and it Never Goes Out”. The real line is “if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side…” I always thought they said “if a ten ton shark eats the both of us, to dine by your side…”
posted by Judy on 8-16-2006 at 11:38 am
My youngest son and I have rewritten “I’m Just a Kid” for fathers:
“I’m just a Dad and my life is a nightmare.
I’m just a Dad and I’m losing all my hair.
I know that it won’t grow back – - except on my back.”
We also rewrote the theme from Walker, Texas Ranger to include:
“The eyes of a Ranger are a light blue,
At least that’s how they look on my TV.
When you’re in Texas check the bathroom
Cause that’s where a Ranger’s gonna pee.”
posted by Perry on 8-16-2006 at 11:39 am
Elton John’s got to be the king of garbled lyrics.
In the Sugar Bear/Someone Saved My Life Tonight song, the lyrics go something like “…you nearly had me roped and tied…….”
I can’t understand what he sings in the phrases after “roped and tied” but I sing “…butter fried, hit my thighs, sweet twinkies”.
Who the heck knows what he’s saying?!
posted by Nancy on 8-16-2006 at 11:41 am
I always sang Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ chorus wrong.
What they wrote:
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yay!
What I sang:
With the light out
It’s less dangerous
Mamma scared them
Out of feeling
Gay!
Brian Setzer’s “Jump Jive an’ Wail” has always been “Drunk driver in jail” in my head.
posted by Denotsko on 8-16-2006 at 11:41 am
I used to think that the National Anthem begun with the line “Jose, Can you see?”
For years I wondered why the U.S. National Anthem would include a Mexican boy in its lyrics. I got straightened out in about the 6th grade, but I still like to include Jose in the song every once in a while.
posted by Rebecca Greene on 8-16-2006 at 11:45 am
Hendrix
“S’cuse me, while I kiss this guy”!
posted by Catscritch on 8-16-2006 at 11:46 am
I’ve always thought the Go Go’s sang “I’m with Cecile” rather than “Our Lips are Sealed”.
posted by Maggie on 8-16-2006 at 11:54 am
My friend’s kids were singing to the radio, The Rolling Stones “Beast of Burden” They were singing the chorus. Instead of “I’ll never be your beast of burden” they sang “I never smelled your pizza burnin’”
Huey Lewis had a song in the 80’s called “I want a New Drug” a guy friend seriously agued that it was “I want a new truck”
Back in the 70’s my Grandmother cried when my mother let us listen to Elton John’s Benny and the Jetts. She thought the song said “She’s got electric boobs, a mohair suit, you know I read it in a magazine.”
posted by Lisa Kocher on 8-16-2006 at 11:57 am
Real lyrics: Staying Alive
misheard lyrics: Chicken Delight
Real Lyrics: Bain de Soleil for the St Tropez tan
misheard lyrics: Bain de Soleil for the sensuous babe
posted by Bridget on 8-16-2006 at 12:01 pm
My uncle Johnnie, who was a rabid anti-catholic, thought “adeste fideles” (Oh, come all ye faithful) was “Death to Fidelius” and an Irish rebel song
posted by Stan Firth on 8-16-2006 at 12:12 pm
For the longest time I thought the line from Warren Zevon’s Excitable Boy was:
He dug up her grave and fornicated with her bones.
The actual line is:
He dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones.
posted by Lee on 8-16-2006 at 12:13 pm
I have two…
I always thought “Heard it in a Love Song” was “Purdy Little Love Song.” To this day, I still can’t sing it any other way.
And I had a friend whose mother thought the line “Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you” was “Every time you go away, you take a piece of MEAT with you!” She thought it was a stupid song, and who could blame her if that really was the lyric?!?
posted by Gigi on 8-16-2006 at 12:14 pm
For years I heard Elton John “pissing in the stream”, instead of “fishing in the stream” in the song Honkey Cat. And my brother was singing along with John Mellencamp at work…”he married an LA dog…” His boss laughed herself silly before she corrected him…” he married an LA doll” in the song Small Town. But with either of these men, you really never know.
posted by ceejay on 8-16-2006 at 12:16 pm
Beatle’s song, (can’t remember title)
Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky,
I just put in that line, because it rhymed,
And I love you.
NancyG
posted by Nancy on 8-16-2006 at 12:26 pm
When I was five years old, I heard the lyric of Kaye Starr’s “Cross over the Bridge” as leave your pickle patch behind you, rather than the actual works, leave your fickle past behind you. What does a five year old know about a fickle past anyhow?
posted by Tim Green on 8-16-2006 at 12:30 pm
When I was 6 years old – way back in the day – Donny Osmond’s song “Go Away Little Girl” was a huge hit. I thought the line “our lips must never meet” was “our lips must smell of meat”. Who knew?? I was a kid!! LOL
posted by mary e on 8-16-2006 at 12:30 pm
I screw up Nirvana’s “All Apologies” all the time. But the lyric
I’ll take all the blame / aqua seafoam shame
make more sense sung
I’ll take all the blame / I’ll proceed from shame
posted by Ja-morethan7syllables-son on 8-16-2006 at 12:31 pm
these are the two mondegreens that i am most embarassed about. first off would be Pearl Jam’s ‘Black’. the line that says ‘the pictures that have all been washed in black’ i misheard as ‘the b+tch is sad, been washed in black’.
the other is from Blind Melon’s ‘no rain’. the lyrics are ‘all i can do is just pour some tea for two’ which i heard as ‘all i can do is just get closer to the tube’. then further into the song he says ‘i’d like to keep my cheeks dry today’ which i erronously sang as ‘i’d like to keep my cheating strategy’. i still like the song better ‘my’ way, but i suppose it connotates a different meaning to sing it the way shannon intended.
posted by laura on 8-16-2006 at 12:31 pm
A pal of mine thought the line .. “and as we wind on down the road” from Stairway to Heaven was “and there’s a whino down the road” LOL
posted by Bon on 8-16-2006 at 12:32 pm
Neil Young’s:(Heart Of Gold)-The lyrics are “That Keeps Me Searching For A Heart Of Gold” I always sang “That Keeps Me Searching For A Heart Of Corn”
A friend of mine had one I liked.Pink Floyd’s:(Brain Damage)-The lyrics are “And If The Damn Breaks Open Many Years To Soon” He sang “And If The Band Breaks Up Many Years To Soon”
The irony of his misunderstood Pink Floyd lyric!
posted by Ken on 8-16-2006 at 12:32 pm
Our family “misheard” the lyrics to Crystal Gayle’s biggest hit. For us it will always be “Donuts make my Brown Eyes Blue”. So much easier (and tastier, I suppose) than contact lenses!
posted by Alison on 8-16-2006 at 12:36 pm
The Ray Davies song “Other People’s Lives” contains the line I kept hearing as “Ooooo, Harry Potter”. It took me a month and a call to the radio station to research and learn that it was really “Read the Reporter”.
My sister kept singing the Alphabet Song as “…L, M, Datto P…”, but then she also thought that big green guy was the “Increbbible Hunk”. :o)
posted by Susan on 8-16-2006 at 12:37 pm
When my brother was four, he thought the lyrics to Bonnie Rait’s “Let’s Give ‘Em Something to Talk About” was “Let’s Give ‘em Something From Taco Bell.” I use this as proof that my mom can’t cook.
posted by Joe on 8-16-2006 at 12:41 pm
There is a country music song that says.
“And I’m down to my last pack” I thought for the longest time that she was saying “And I’m down to my last pad”.
Needless to say I was totally put off until my boyfriend and I were talking about it one day. Good thing I was driving because he laughed so hard he had tears.
Blonde in Wisconsin
posted by Sandi Jones on 8-16-2006 at 12:45 pm
I thought the line from “Creep” “I’m a wierdo” was “I’m a widow”. I figured Tom Yorke was admiting he was a transexual, and that his lover was dead.
posted by Joe on 8-16-2006 at 12:51 pm
Country songs don’t usually have as many mondegreens as pop and rock, but a few years ago June Carter’s daughter Carlene had a hit out with the line:
“Like a wild horse I want to break you.”
which I misheard as:
“Like a walrus I want to rape you.”
posted by Robert Loy on 8-16-2006 at 12:52 pm
When we were growing up, we attended church every Sunday. On Easter, my sister must have really had some weird visions of what was going on…
Instead of:
“Up from the grave he arose”
She sang:
“Up from the gravy a rose”
posted by S. Boring on 8-16-2006 at 1:07 pm
My sister Jenny thought George Harrison’s song “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” lyrics were:
Steal my guitar, Jackie Louise.
posted by Kathleen on 8-16-2006 at 1:15 pm
In Elton John’s song “Love Lies Bleeding” I thought the lyrics were:
I’ve lost all feeling in my hands
(Instead of “And love lies bleeding in my hand.”)
posted by Kathleen on 8-16-2006 at 1:17 pm
Tim Ryan’s single “Let’s Dance In Circles” has the line, “Let the violins begin”. I always heard “Let the violence begin”.
And Garth Brook’s song “The Dance” says “I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance” It always sounded like “I could have missed the vein”.
posted by Mark on 8-16-2006 at 1:18 pm
Ok, so I’m a big fan of Billy Joel and for the longest time (no pun intended) I thought that one of the lines in the Piano man was “and the piano sounds like a carnivore, and the microphone smells like a beer”. Which since this is a more aggressive part of the song it seemed to fit and I’d always sing it with a lot of excitement. Then my stupid boyfriend ruined everything for me when he told me what the real lyrics are “and the piano sounds like a carnival…” How gritty is that Billy? really now.
posted by Heidi on 8-16-2006 at 1:20 pm
When I was working at Ruby Tuesday our favorites were Message in a Bottle by the Police “sending out an SOS” became “sending out an FOS” for French Onion Soup.
Also the song my 10cc, I’m Not in Love.
“OOh, you’ll wait a long time for me” became “Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for tea.”
And who ever sang Big Butts ( I like big butts and I don’t know why ) became ” I have big nuts and I don’t know why”
posted by Prudence on 8-16-2006 at 1:24 pm
My friend Becca is wonderful at mishearing lyrics, and two of her most notable mistakes are with “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats and the traditional “Dreidel” song.
Original lyrics of “Safety Dance”:
You can dance if you want to,
you can leave your friends behind,
’cause your friends don’t dance
and if they don’t dance,
then they ain’t no friends of mine.
Becca’s version:
You can dance if you want to,
you can leave your pants behind,
’cause your pants don’t dance
and if they don’t dance,
then they ain’t no pants of mine.
I’ve never been sure of the original lyrics to the dreidel song, but I’m positive Becca’s aren’t right:
Dreidel dreidel dreidel,
I made you out of clay.
Claydel claydel claydel,
I made myself a dreidel.
posted by Megan on 8-16-2006 at 1:33 pm
When my mom was little she thought “Hark the herald angels sing” was “Hark to hell, the angels sing … ” which I am sure went over well with my very Catholic grandparents.
I am notorious for flubbing lyrics, and while my sister could tell you a million examples, the only one I can come up with right now is Vanessa Carlton’s “Big Yellow Taxi”. The line “paved paradise and put up a parking lot” will forever be “pink paradise, put up a parking lot”
posted by katie on 8-16-2006 at 1:43 pm
I was a little confused when hearing the Bryan Adams song, “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” because i heard “when you love a woman, tell her that she’s a woman” instead of “tell her that she’s the one.” I couldn’t figure out why this chick didn’t know she was a woman.
posted by Kristin on 8-16-2006 at 1:46 pm
“Cigarette,” by Ben Folds Five
The actual lyric:
“Fred Jones was worn out from caring for his often screaming and crying wife during the day. But he couldn’t sleep at night for fear that she, in a stupor from the drugs that didn’t ease the pain, would set the house ablaze with a cigarette.”
But I heard:
“Fred Jones was worn out from caring for his orphan. Screaming and crying ‘wife!’, dreading the day that he couldn’t sleep at night for fear that sheep, in a stupor from the drugs they did in Easter pain, would set the house ablaze with a cigarette.”
I guess I was picturing sort of a drug-induced nightmare that he was trying to escape from, where the lamb chops he had for Easter dinner came back for revenge?
posted by Agak on 8-16-2006 at 1:51 pm
To annoy his 13 year old sister, my son insists on singing along with the Pussycat Dolls song “Don’t cha” but changing the chorus to
Dont cha wish you’re pizza was hot like me?
I’m a perfect 98.6 degrees.
posted by Heather on 8-16-2006 at 1:55 pm
Sometimes I think the boys in my highschool class scarred me for life- The knack’s My Sharona- becomes My Sc-ro-tem, and there’s a visual– three or four guys lined up, one hand in the air, one cupped to the front of their pants, knees bending to the beat. I laugh every time I hear the song, much better lyrics, but my kids think I’m twisted. Oh well, I guess you had to be there.
posted by Jaun on 8-16-2006 at 1:59 pm
During my childhood I was a huge Cyndi Lauper fan. There is a Cyndi Lauper song on the She’s So Unusual album called “Witness” in which Cyndi declares that she doesn’t want to be a witness. To set the scene: this song is playing in our car during some family roadtrip. So Cyndi is singing “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be a witness.”
My mother turns around in her seat and asks me “Why on earth would she have to be a wet nurse if she didn’t want to be?”
Needless to say, that song was completely ruined thereafter.
posted by Taylor on 8-16-2006 at 2:00 pm
My roommate in college was always mis-hearing. It started one night with a commercial for what she thought was the Latin Christmas Collection. “What?” she said, “Dave Matthews isn’t LATIN…Matchbox 20 isn’t LATIN…” Well, Rachel, it was the PLATINUM Christmas Collection. That’s when she admitted that she thought the lyrics to “I shot the Sherrif” were “I shot the SHERRY.” I guessed after that came “But I did not shoot the Cabernet…”
posted by Sabrina on 8-16-2006 at 2:10 pm
Madonna’s Vogue.
There’s a part of the song that I always sing along that goes “Gingivitis, Dandruff Hair.”
I have been told that she is really saying “Ginger Rogers, Dance on Air” but I’m not sure if that’s true.
posted by Christy on 8-16-2006 at 2:11 pm
My favorite came from my friend’s mom who heard Prince’s “little red corvette” as “pay the rent, colette”.
posted by Jen on 8-16-2006 at 2:16 pm
My mom found some nursery rhymes a little too brutal. Instead of
Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all
I grew up thinking the last line was
And I will catch baby, cradle and all
posted by Jennifer on 8-16-2006 at 2:18 pm
In John Mellancamp’s “Jack ‘n Diane,” I always heard “Changes comin’ round real soon, make us women and men” as, “Changes comin’ round real soon, we’ll be swimmin’ in them.”
And my husband swears the background singers in Paul Simon’s “I Know What I Know” (from “Graceland”) are singing, “anahim anaheim ana sucka my johnson.” I don’t know what they’re saying, but I’m sure it’s not that!
posted by Mindy on 8-16-2006 at 2:18 pm
From Blister In the Sun by the Violent Femmes: “body and beats/I stain my sheets” should be “when I’m asleep/I stain my sheets”, according to my boyfriend…
Speaking of VF: I always thought it was “Let me go on, like a blister in the sun” instead of “like I blister in the sun” until I read the lyrics… When I was very young, I even misunderstood the band name! I thought they were the Violent Films.
posted by Brandy on 8-16-2006 at 2:23 pm
I can’t imagine WHY, but when David Bowie sang the lyric “Suffragette City”, I could have sworn he was saying “Supper Kissy Dare”
… that David Bowie guy is DEEP!
posted by Jessie on 8-16-2006 at 2:23 pm
In the song “Warehouse” by Dave Matthew’s Band, there is a line that says “smell, touch, feel”. But the way he sings it, it sounds like “smell Todd Steele”. Yeah, I know it’s stupid, but does anyone fake sing your name in a song?
posted by Todd Steele on 8-16-2006 at 2:24 pm
I sang Chely Wright’s Song,
“No One Wants to be Unknown” for years
as “No One Wants to be Alone”.
Which made perfect sense to me, except one line:
something about.. “I light candles when I’m alone… No One Wants to Be Alone.. never made sense to me. At least not until I realized I had the chorus wrong. Anyway, it’s a beautiful soulful song.
posted by Sammie on 8-16-2006 at 2:26 pm
A cousin of mine must have thought Kenny Rogers’ Gambler had his mind, not on his cards, but on the salloon’s ladies of the evening. His lyrics always came out as, “… there’ll be time enough for countin, when the feelin’s done” (instead of dealin’s done). Must have been a puberty side effect.
posted by Lynda Castro on 8-16-2006 at 2:33 pm
I always correct Dobie Gray’s “Drift Away”
(You have to sing in in your head to see what I mean)
The lines:
And when my mind is free
You know your melody can move me
And when I’m feelin’ blue
The guitars come through to soothe me
Thanks for the joy you’ve given me
Should end with:
Thanks for the joy you’ve given TO me
It rhymes for Pete’s sake!
posted by Ric on 8-16-2006 at 2:35 pm
i sang ccr’s sweet hitchhiker as sweet aunt jemima…for about 20 years.
also, a friend of mine thought that “how my poor heart aches” was “I’m a pool hall ace” in The Police’s Every Breath You Take.
posted by bradford bartosz on 8-16-2006 at 2:43 pm
When I was a kid long ago and far away, we were camping with another family, and their dad wouldn’t let us listen to CCR singing, “do, do, doing it out my back door.”
posted by Amy Rodriguez on 8-16-2006 at 2:49 pm
1. listening to brewers games on the radio, you hear an onslaught of ads for menards — a hardware chain. the jingle goes “you save big money, you save big money. when you shop menards…”, and then “save big money at menards” at the end. my wife and i sing along every time, with “you save big bunnies, you save big bunnies. when you shop menards…save big bunnies at menards.” who doesn’t want to save big bunnies?
2. bring me to life, by evanescance (or whatever) – i hated this song at first, but once i realized that “wake me up inside” is better as “bake me up a pie”, i can’t get enough. (i’ve also tried changing the title line to “bring me two limes”, as if she were baking a key-lime pie, but that doesn’t quite work quite as well.)
3. “back and forth”, by the dismemberment plan — there’s a line that goes “so throw your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don’t care” — i prefer “wave them like you just MIGHT care”. i’m sick of all these people not caring about their waving…i’d like to see people put in some effort for once.
posted by steven hicks on 8-16-2006 at 3:03 pm
Kenny Rogers’ Song “Lucille”
I thought it was “four hundred children and a crop in the field” instead of “four hungry children…”
posted by Irene Noraas on 8-16-2006 at 3:17 pm
The first time I heard the The Hives song, “Two-timing touch and broken bones”… I had not heard the name of it and to be fair, maybe the radio station wasn’t coming in too clear but I swore they were singing “I will not touch those monkey balls.” I still like my lyrics better.
posted by Lauren on 8-16-2006 at 3:38 pm
When I was a wee young thing, I had *quite* the sense of imagination and regularly fancied myself a bit of a superhero.
Add this to the fact that EVERYONE called me “Baby” (I honestly did not know my first name until my first day of kindergarten) and I don’t think my favorite mondegreen comes as any surprise.
During the chorus of Rick James’ “Superfreak”, when he shouts “She’s super freaky” – I always heard it as “She’s Super Baby!” and thought he was singing about me.
Twenty-four years later and I can laugh about it, but there was quite the time period when it horriffied me to even think of it.
posted by A.J. Spencer on 8-16-2006 at 3:44 pm
I initially thought Michael Hutchins was saying “soup and salad bar” on INXS’s song “Suicide Blonde.” Sing it that way with the song and you’ll see what I mean.
On a grammatical note, I like Nickelback, but I have to skip the song “Believe It Or Not” on their The Long Road album because of the unrelenting grammar errors. An example occurs in the first four lines:
“Believe it or not everyone have things that they hide… Believe it or not everyone keep most things inside… Believe it or not everyone believe in something above… Believe it or not everyone need to feel loved, feel loved”
Of course, the pronoun “everyone” is singular so it should say “everyone has,” “keeps,” “believes” and “needs.” It irks the heck out of me because they’re a good band.
posted by Steve on 8-16-2006 at 3:47 pm
I have four, so I’ll try to be brief:
- My sister would sing along to Sade’s “Smooth Operator” with her own “oooo boppa ray-daaa”
- In Peter Gabirle’s Games without Frontiers, there is a line that is in French: “Jeux sans frontier”. I sang it for years as “She’s so funky, yeah!”
- The Specials have a line in their Monkey Man song that should sound like “It’s no lie, it’s no lie,” but I think sounds better as “E. coli, E. coli”
In the Cure’s song Just Like Heaven, the lyrics go:
“Show me how you do that trick,
The one that makes me scream”, she said
“The one that makes me laugh”, she said
And threw her arms around my neck.
I think that song is much funnier (and dirtier!) if you just change “arms” to “legs”….
posted by Kim on 8-16-2006 at 3:54 pm
i cannot believe that the one i always hear isn’t here yet.
Iron Maiden’s Number of the Beast, when bruce dickinson sings
‘Just what i saw in my old dreams, was the reflection of my warped mind staring back at me’
what i always hear is
‘just what i saw in my old dreams, was the reflection of my walkman staring back at me’.
i even had to look up the original lyrics to make this post, as for about 15 years now, it’s been walkman, and it always will be to me.
winnie
posted by winnie on 8-16-2006 at 3:58 pm
When I was a kid I thought the Rolling Stones sang “I’ll Never Be Your Big Suburban” instead of “I’ll Never Be
Your Beast of Burden”
posted by Angi Mahnke on 8-16-2006 at 4:04 pm
Growing up, I got giddy whenever I heard “Penny Lane” on the radio because I thought they were saying “And Elaine…is in my ears and in my eyes. There beneath the blue suburban skies” I lived in the suburbs, so I really thought they were singing to me. Luckily I later found some song called “Blue Eyed Elaine” online that make me feel special. Cuz I have blue eyes, too ; )
posted by Elaine on 8-16-2006 at 4:41 pm
Song: Family Guy Theme Song Lyrics
Lois: It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on Tv.
Peter: But, Where are those good ol’ fashion values …
All: … on which we used to rely?
All: Lucky theres a Family Guy!
All: Lucky theres a man who, positively can do all the thing that make us …
Stewie: …Laugh and cry!
All: He’s a Family Guuuuuuuuuuuuy!
I swear every time I hear that song I think Stewie says “makes us…F’in cry”
Considering which character says it, it is totally believable…
posted by Jon on 8-16-2006 at 5:05 pm
In Prince’s song “Little Red Corvette,” he is obviously singing…Little Red Corevette. However, a friend of mine was certain the lyrics were, “Real Men Call Back.”
Every time I hear the song, I hear “Real men call back. Honey you’re much to fast.”
You will too.
posted by Jenn on 8-16-2006 at 5:07 pm
Olivia Newton-John in Hopelessly Devoted to You sings:
There’s nowhere to hide
since you pushed my love aside
I’m out of my head
To which I for years sang
Since you pushed my love aside
and mounted my head
Thinking that he was treating her like a trophy and had mounted her head on the Wall-O-Past-Girlfriends.
Come to think of it, a mounted ONJ head would be kind of cool. I would want the Sandra Dee look.
posted by davidj on 8-16-2006 at 5:32 pm
I would love to know the truth concerning the song ‘In The Air’ by Phil Collins. I remember it coming out as ‘In The Air Of The Night’ and when I hear it to this day, I swear that is what he is singing. However, it appears that it has become accepted as ‘In The Air Tonight’ truncating ‘Of The Night’ to one word. I think there is a huge conspiracy of the name morphing from one thing into another. Does anyone else remember it as ‘of the night’ and what do you *really* here when you listen to it?
posted by davidj on 8-16-2006 at 5:45 pm
In Louis Armstrong’s song “What a wonderful world”, I mistakenly thought the line “the bright blessed day, the dark sacred night” was actually “the bright blessed day, the dogs say goodnight.” Oh, to be young and stupid!
posted by Erin-Kelley on 8-16-2006 at 6:41 pm
My brother-in-law always thought the the song about Dallas was “I’m from big D and the laid of the lilly est!”
posted by Eileen Perell on 8-16-2006 at 6:45 pm
In the offspring song, “Come Out and Play” the line goes “Take him out, you gotta keep’em seperated. I always thought it was, “Drink your milk, you gotta keep’em seperated” This version is much healthier.
posted by pam on 8-16-2006 at 8:06 pm
Mom taught Head Start in the days of the Jackson Five. She overheard the four- and five-year-olds singing:
“You and I must make a pack
We must bring starvation back.”
I was proud of her for catching it. Mom was big on malapropisms, telling me one day that I’d always have to watch my weight because obscenity ran in her side of the family.
posted by Dixie on 8-16-2006 at 8:06 pm
The Beatles – Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds:
Original Lyric: “the girl with kaleidoscope eyes”
Misheard by yours truly as: “the girl with colitis goes by.”
posted by Eric B. on 8-16-2006 at 8:17 pm
In Elton John’s song “Sad Songs Say So Much”, there is a line:
*The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you*
even though I looked it up, I STILL think it sounds like “kicking sawdust in the lawn will finally get to you”
and I always wondered what kind of grass he had that left sawdust instead of clippings…
posted by ducky on 8-16-2006 at 8:23 pm
I always thought that the phrase “our lips are sealed” in the Go-Go’s song of the same name was “I’m a tuxedo”!
posted by Steph on 8-16-2006 at 8:31 pm
When I was a lad I thought the Beach Boys ” Every body s gone surfin,surfin USA.” was an army recruiting song.Every body s gone servin, servin USA.
posted by retail refugee on 8-16-2006 at 8:44 pm
My husband thought the first line of “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison was “Hey there, Amigos!”
posted by Wanda on 8-16-2006 at 8:53 pm
Anyone remember that 80’s hit, “Heartbeat” by Don Johnson? Yeah, I’m sorry for reminding you.
At one point, I was watching the now-too-hilarious video (flaming jeeps! Lime-green guitar! Dancers just walking backwards and forwards!) and heard the following:
Actual line: “Yeah, but you do me wrong / and it won’t take me long / ‘fore my restless heart will heal”
What I heard: “‘Fore my racist heart will heal”
posted by Sillstaw on 8-16-2006 at 9:30 pm
I thought “Smooth Operator” was “Oooh, pop a red eye.” And there was a rock song (by Warrant?) that went, “I wish I had a girl that walked like that.” I thought it was “I wish I had a girl to walk my cat” or “wash my back” or even “wash my cat”. My brother thought Wham’s “Jitterbug” was “Potatobug” and Madonna was singing “Beer in my cereal” in “Material Girl”.
posted by andrea on 8-16-2006 at 9:32 pm
So many to choose from:
my litle sister used to hear the lyrics to John Farnham’s “take the pressure down” as “Take the pressure down, cause I can feel it, it’s rising like a stone” (instead of “like a storm”)
I like the cover some Australian band did of the Gogo’s “our lips are sealed”, called “Alex the seal” – so much more satisfying to sing.
in Hot chip’s newest single, my flatmate insists on singing “lady in red” instead of “laaaaaid back”
posted by Jordan on 8-16-2006 at 9:50 pm
My late brother Mikie and I used to like tweaking song lyrics back in the day. Most memorable was how we changed the theme song to “Branded” (the OLD Chuck Connors western series-after the Rifleman)We sang “Stranded, stranded on the bathroom bowl…what do you do if you’re stranded, and you don’t have a roll? What ever you do for the rest of your life..it stinks!!”.
posted by Cheryl on 8-16-2006 at 10:08 pm
My buddy’s highschool girlfriend thought that the chorus of k.d. lang’s song “Constant Craving” was “God sent gravy.” I could never understand how she thought that it made any sense.
posted by Joel on 8-16-2006 at 10:12 pm
Hands down, best misheard lyric was Billy Joel’s “for the longest time” misheard as “Father Longenstien” which totally changed the meaning of the song, making it seem like a confessional to a priest.
posted by Jessica on 8-16-2006 at 11:02 pm
One day, while I was singing a certain Steve Miller Band song, I said, “Geralina is such an unattractive name.” There was an awkward pause until the person I was talking to realized that I had misheard the lyrics as “big ol’ Geralina” rather than “big ol’ jet airliner.” We both had a good laugh.
posted by Molly on 8-16-2006 at 11:10 pm
For the longest time, I thought Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind” lyrics were “Her candle burned out long before the legend of the deer.”(instead of “Her candle burned out long before her legend ever did.”) I was singing it in the car and my sister stopped the radio and said, “What did you just say!?” I told her and she laughed and laughed. And then she told me the correct lyrics (which make a lot more sense).
Also, my grandmother’s name was Virginia and my mom thought as a child that “Silent Night” said “Round young Virginia…mother and child.”
posted by JJ Bryant on 8-16-2006 at 11:19 pm
A few years ago, I overheard my 7 yr old son singing a Bob Dylan tune “I missed that jamboree, man!” instead of “Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man”.
posted by Amy on 8-16-2006 at 11:26 pm
======================================
What it says: ride the painted pony let the spinnin wheel turn..
What I heard: ride the painted TOENAIL…
======================================
What it says: do the hustle!
What I heard: CHEW THE HOTDOG!
======================================
posted by ines on 8-16-2006 at 11:43 pm
ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man” playing on the car radio. My lovely wife turns to me and says “did he just say striped-ass man?”. Almost drove off the road laughing.
posted by John on 8-17-2006 at 1:14 am
My wife once made a mixtape for me. She painstakingly listened to each song and wrote down the lyrics for me.
This was in the days before Google… which wasn’t that long ago, mind you.
Her lyrics for Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here”: “Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a negro in a cage?” vs. “a lead role in a cage.”
She will never live that one down.
posted by Mark on 8-17-2006 at 1:55 am
In the 1980s there was a song someone sang, I heard it as “I’m a tree falling, I’m a tree falling.”
Later, my kids told me it was “I’m a free-falling, I’m a free-falling.”
posted by Jean Florian on 8-17-2006 at 6:00 am
Elton John’s got to be the king of garbled lyrics.
In the Sugar Bear/Someone Saved My Life Tonight song, the lyrics go something like “…you nearly had me roped and tied…….”
I can’t understand what he sings in the phrases after “roped and tied” but I sing “…butter fried, hit my thighs, sweet twinkies”.
Who the heck knows what he’s saying?!
Alter bound, hypnotized, sweet freedom whispered in my ear…you’re a butterfly…and butterflies are free to fly…fly away……
On another song… my niece and nephew thought that “gimme the beat boys and fre my soul” was “gimme the Beach Boys and free my soul.” Works either way for me!!!!
posted by Kathy on 8-17-2006 at 7:10 am
A friend of mine always sang Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Sign Your Name Across My Heart” as
suddenly, you bust my balls
Another friend sung the “you got the peaches, I got the cream” from Pour Some Sugar On Me as
you get the bitches, I’ll get the beer
And my own: Another One Bites The Dust became:
I never wanna fight the doc, hey hey
posted by Kim on 8-17-2006 at 10:52 am
My favorite intentional butchering of a song was from Boyz II Men’s: “Please don’t go away from me/When you call my name/I’ll reach out my hand to you/To my heart,” which we clever youngsters rephrased as “Please don’t blow your breath on me/When you call my name/I reach out the Listerine/To your mouth”. Classic!
posted by Shanka on 8-17-2006 at 11:04 am
There are several, but the one that came to mind right away is the old Bruce Springsteen song “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out.” Before I knew what the title was, when I heard it on the radio, I heard the chorus as “The Devil in Freetown.” I still catch myself singing that sometimes when the song comes on.
posted by Sandy on 8-17-2006 at 11:45 am
My dad is famous (in our family @ least) for mistaking song lyrics. There’s the ever popular ‘there’s a bathroom on the right’ from CCR’s Bad moon rising. My dad held that it was true because in the little juke joint where he heard the song there was a bathroom just down the hall on the right. We’ve also caught him singing ’stop, stop, stop pollenesing’ rather than ’stop, stop, stop all the dancing’(the hollies) and ‘jay, jay, jay, jay la poo’ instead of ‘chain, chain, chain, chain of fools’.
posted by Sarah on 8-17-2006 at 4:16 pm
Ricochet’s song, “Daddy’s Money” has a line that goes “She’s a good bass fisher, a dynamite kisser” and I always thought they were saying a “dirty minded kisser.” I still think my way sounds better and makes a better point!
posted by Shelley on 8-17-2006 at 5:12 pm
My little sister used to listen to my mix tapes and try to be cool around my friends and I….
here are a few she sang..
Sloan’s Underwhelmed has a line “she rolled her r’s, her beautiful r’s”
Cheryl sang it “rolled her arse..”
Kiss’s-Rock and Roll All Night and “part of every day”
Van Halen’s Panama-”Animals, Ani-mah-ha-als.”
Hole’s Violet- “And the sky was made so violent- and all the sauce was made of little fish”
There were so many…
posted by Nikki on 8-17-2006 at 6:51 pm
I used to love Bread’s “Baby I’m-a Want You” but for the longest time thought that they were singing “Baby I’m a Warm Shoe” and also thought thatCreedence Clearwater Revival were singing about a “bathroom on the right.”
posted by Pam on 8-17-2006 at 8:31 pm
I have two. My favorite has to be the one my 8th grade math teacher told our class. She always thought the KitKat Bar jingle went, “Take me out for pizza and a KitKat Bar!”
Mine just happened yesterday when I was listening to The Cars “Just What I Needed” when I heard the following:
It’s not the rhythms in your hair
It’s supposed to be ribbons. In my defense, I had been listening to “Good Times Roll” where they say, “Let them brush your rock and roll hair.”
posted by Janel on 8-18-2006 at 1:52 am
When I was a kid I used to change the words of Tommy James & The Shondells’ Hanky Panky from:
“My baby does the Hanky Panky”
to:
“My baby doesn’t use a hanky”
posted by Alan on 8-18-2006 at 9:12 am
A friend in college used to sing the Allman Brothers line “back home you’ll always run” as “the cornmeal always runs to sweet Melissa”
posted by Katie on 8-18-2006 at 2:23 pm
in the reo speedwagon song “take it on the run” instead of ‘keep this in mind’ i hear ‘keep kissing my hind’.
now get that outta yer heads!
posted by terri on 8-18-2006 at 3:11 pm
The Ramones “I Wanna be Sedated” is way more interesting when you sing “I wanna piece of bacon” instead.
posted by Karen on 8-18-2006 at 5:09 pm
Since the actual contest topic has been somewhat derailed, let’s see if I can steer us back on topic.
In the Steve Miller Band’s “Jet Airliner,” how about changing “Big ol’ jet airliner, don’t carry me too far away” to something more topical, like: “Big ol’ jet airliner, they took my carry-on bag away.”
posted by Chant Macleod on 8-18-2006 at 5:18 pm
This guy I knew in high school was singing to Billy Ocean’s “Carribean Queen” but for the line “now we’re sharing the same dream” he sang “now we’re sharing nuts and cream”
posted by Katherine on 8-18-2006 at 5:20 pm
I thought the guy was a creep when in
“Groovin’” I heard:
“Life would be ecstacy, you and me and
Leslie.”
It was actually, “…you and me endlessly.”
posted by kim on 8-19-2006 at 1:28 am
my best friend used to sing Bob Bob Bob Bob OR Ann. instead of Bar Bar Bar Barbara Ann! i thought that was cute.
posted by whitney on 8-19-2006 at 1:13 pm
I always thought Neil Dimaond’s lyric was called For Reverend Blue jeans instead of Forever in blue jeans. ( or vice versa)
posted by Dan C on 8-20-2006 at 12:43 am
When the first Fruit of the Loom video came out, I thought it was so sweet and so funny: they would sing a line….”you can’t over-load your underwear”
Later my friends pointed out that they were singing “you can’t over Love your underwear!(not over-load it):)
posted by Debba on 8-20-2006 at 2:19 pm
There’s nothing better than misheard ABBA…
Waterloo – “But how could I ever refuse, I feel like I win when I lose!”
should (of course) be sung as:
“But how could I ever refuse, I feel like Ed Wynn when I lose!”
Try getting that one out of your head…then go watch Mary Poppins.
posted by Anna on 8-20-2006 at 5:20 pm
My daughter was quite a fan of “Who’s the Boss” reruns when she was 9 or 10. She was perplexed when she learned that Elton John sang these lyrics (as heard by her): “Hold me closer, Tony Danza”… She’d always assumed that the song, actually “Tiny Dancer”, was sung by the lead female character “Angela”.
posted by DataSpice on 8-21-2006 at 1:42 pm
My nine year old daughter is a big Beatles fan. When she was about six, she thought the lyric to “The Night Before” (Original “treat me like you did the night before”) was “treat me like you did when I was four”.
posted by Sheila on 8-21-2006 at 2:54 pm
My youngest sister thought the lyrics to “Winter Wonderland” were “… walking in and wonderin’ where I am.”
posted by Ellen on 8-22-2006 at 9:27 am
I have two!
1) In “Drift Away”, I had to laugh when my sister burst out with “give me the Beach Boys and free my soul” instead of “give me the beat boys”. Hey, maybe the Beach Boys do have that power.
2) In Lou Rawls “Double Trouble”, there’s a part where he does a long monologue about having to hide the fact that he’s messing around. At the end, he says that he’s “scared to death!” but we always said “skib-a-dip” and assumed that it was a cool word we hadn’t learned yet. (Of course, we weren’t too sure of the meaning of the song either)
posted by Wendy on 8-22-2006 at 10:06 pm
Here’s my 3:
1) in the song “Living Well” George Strait sings “…and a thousand red sunsets” but listen to it one time as “…a thousand wrestling sets” and you’ll never hear it right again.
2) My sister thought the song “Dust on the bottle,” the chorus of which starts “might be a little dust on the bottle…” was actually “my feet, a little dust on the bottom ” (makes perfect sense in the song, believe if or not.
3) and the old standby “in the garden of eden, baby” – instead of “Innagadadavida, baby”
posted by curlzcat on 8-23-2006 at 6:31 pm
I’ll never forget my aunt singing along with Cher to “If I could turn back CRIME…” – woops!!
posted by Jerry on 8-27-2006 at 9:23 am
One friend misheard Sade’s “Smooth Operator” as “Smooth on the Radar”
I thought Corey Hart’s line in “Sunglasses at Night”…
“cuz you got in bed with a guy in shades, oh no”
sounded like
“cuz you got in bed with a Diet Shasta and Coke”
posted by Nirav on 8-29-2006 at 11:10 am
My version of the Pretender’s song, Brass in Pocket:
Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my sausage
Gonna use my fingers
Gonna use my, my, my imagination
posted by Donna on 8-30-2006 at 10:28 am
INXS’s “Suicide Blonde”
You wanna make a
Soup and salad bar
Love devastation
Soup and salad bar
posted by Brent on 8-30-2006 at 5:25 pm
OMG I am not alone! I was lured here by the famous line: “wrecked up like a douche”, and now I have to admit that when I was maybe 4 years old, I heard the Elvis song, “Return to Sender” thinking it was “Return to Cinder”. This made perfect biblical sense as a paraphrase of “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”. Returning to cinder would be about the same as returning to ashes, I figured…thanks for all the other misheard music lines.
posted by Dave Smith on 11-21-2007 at 8:35 am