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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back our Marching Band Correspondent, Auburn University’s Steven Clontz! You may remember him from his first post, Marching to the Beat of a Different Slide Instrument, which explored variations on the trombone. Or his second, When Good Bands Go Bad. He’s back today with the third in a series of four band-centric entries.
Marching band kind of gets the shaft in pop culture, with band geeks serving more often as the nerdy comic relief than leading roles. But in rare cases, someone will weave a story that can only be told by those who hold an instrument in their hand, and wear a shako on their head. So, I respectfully submit to the mental_floss community, the greatest marching bands in fiction. (As a courtesy, I’m excluding any bands that make an appearance on this page, which I wish I never stumbled upon.)
1. The East Great Falls High School Marching Band
“This one time, at band camp…” was the bane of my existence as a freshman in my high school marching band. Y’see, a little movie called American Pie was released in 1999, and barely a year later, I had the experience of going through my own first band camp ever. As soon as classes began, only a mere mention of my involvement in my school’s marching band would be necessary to receive a chorus of “This one time, at band camp…” from anyone within earshot.
When I first saw American Pie, I was surprised that the marching band and Michelle, the character who coined that phrase, don’t play a huge part in most of the first movie. But since then, American Pie has spawned two sequels, a slew of spin-off movies (including a whole movie about band camp), and an entire generation who associates band camp with the creepiest use for a flute I can think of. So I guess it rightfully deserves its place at the beginning of my list.
Incidentally, American Pie takes place in an alternate universe where people actually go away to a real backwoods summer camp for band. The name of this magical place is called Michigan, which may explain why an Alabama boy such as myself knows nothing of making s’mores in between music rehearsals. In my experience, band camp is nothing more than back-to-back rehearsals, all day, for seven or eight days in a row, followed by a few hours of sleep in my own bed. But perhaps some of you have had the pleasure of a more clichéd band camp experience?
2. The Bikini Bottom Marching Band
Maybe I was a little old to be watching cartoons starring a yellow filter-feeder on the bottom of the sea, even in 2001. But what I could not ignore was that Nickelodeon had just released an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants entitled simply, “Band Geeks”.
The plot was your typical Spongebob fare. Squarepants’ clarinet-toting, fun-squashing neighbor Squidward Tentacles had to pull a marching band together to perform in the annual Bubble Bowl in just a few days, because he could not bear to admit to his childhood rival Squilliam that he did not really have a band of his own to direct. And while the band performed pitifully at first, in the end they pulled together to support Squidward. The result of which, I am happy to say, can be viewed right now thanks to the wonderful World Wide Intertubes.
And it seems my love for this episode is not alone. According to my cousins Matt and Josh, “Band Geeks” was awarded the honor of being the number one “Nicktoon” ever, just recently. Also neat, their mother tells me that the singer of “Sweet Victory” is actually David Glen Eisley. After chiding me for my lack of Hair Band knowledge, she pointed me to another song he’s done, Giuffria’s Call To the Heart.
3. Atlanta A&T State University’s Blue and Gold Marching Machine
Performing in a historically black college’s marching band is a little different from my own band career. But thankfully, I can at least know sort of what it’s like to be in a real Battle of the Bands, without fearing I might actually be attacked by one. And it’s all thanks to the movie Drumline.
Drumline performed well at the box office, and critically too, with a score of 78% on Rotten Tomatoes. My friends in the band service fraternity Kappa Kappa Psi love it because it KKY is featured prominently. Also, of all the works featured in this article, it’s the only one that actually presents marching band like it were just another sport. But I’m actually not a huge fan. Why, you ask? Not enough trombones. I can only pay attention to people banging on some overrated pots and pans for so long before I get bored. I’m still waiting for my coming-of-age story of a high school trumpet player with a heart of gold. But since Drumline is pretty much the only movie in that vein released… ever?… I may be waiting for a while.
4. The Wellsville High School Marching Squids
I complete my Nickelodeon triumvirate (SpongeBob, Drumline star Nick Cannon of All-That fame, and this) with one of my all-time favorite shows, Pete & Pete. And of course, my favorite episode from the series, “Day of the Dot,” would have to be dedicated to their high school marching band. Big Pete (as opposed to his younger brother, Little Pete) grows jealous when his best-friend-slash-obvious-romantic-interest Ellen is given the honor of dotting the “i” in Squid on the marching field. (This tradition is most likely borrowed from The Ohio State University Marching Band.)
At first, Big Pete is happy for Ellen. But things turn foul when she begins to spend more time with her marching partner, James Markle, Jr., than with him. In the end, Big Pete takes things into his own hands, and hijacks the halftime show to prove that there is one force even stronger than even that of a musical marching ensemble – the power of love. And while I normally wouldn’t even condone breaking rank during a marching band performance, to this day I still have a crush on Alison Fanelli (the actress who played Ellen), so I’ll let it all slide.
5. The Westview High School Scapegoat Marching Band
My first pair of marching shoes when I got to college were Dinkles. However, I’m sure the World’s Greatest Band Director Dr. Harry L. Dinkle was vastly disappointed when my university band of choice decided to switch over to MTXs (Mark Time to the X-treme, dudes).
Okay okay, so I’m probably getting ahead of myself. For the uninitiated, Funky Winkerbean is the quintessential example of marching band in the funny pages. This was true particularly when the strip was first started back in 1972, and the story revolved around several students at Westview High. Notable band characters included Holly Budd, who could always be found walking around school in her majorette uniform, and the aforementioned Dr. Dinkle, the self-proclaimed best band director ever. Fellow band-ites like myself can relate to a fear consistently replicated in a running gag from Funky Winkerbean - every band competition (except for the first one) occurs during a raging monsoon.
In 1992, cartoonist Batuik decided to relaunch the comic, moving it forward four years in time, so all the high school students had now graduated and were living the lives of grown-ups. At the same time, the strip began to take a more serious tone, tackling many serious issues, such as suicide, dyslexia, and most notably, cancer. However, this final point has brought me some hope. As I understand it, Funky relaunched again only a few weeks ago after Lisa died of breast cancer. The story now follows the next generation as they go through high school. So maybe, just maybe, next time I pick up the funnies I’ll be greeted by the World’s Greatest Band Director once again.
6. The River City Boys Band
Our list concludes with the most eminent marching band in all of cinema, Professor Harold Hill’s boys band. The boys of River City, enraptured by the opening of a new pool hall, needed something to keep them from turning down the steep slippery path of billards-induced temptation.
Or so Dr. Hill would have had them believe. In reality he was just a con artist who… why am I even explaining this? The Music Man is by many counts, one of the greatest musicals of all time, receiving six Tonies, an Oscar, and a slew of other nominations. I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone who doesn’t know one of the show’s most memorable songs, “Seventy-Six Trombones (in the Big Parade).” If you’re one such poor soul, please, go out and rent the 1962 movie adaption now. Then you’ll understand why I’m having so much trouble mastering my Elementary Spanish class since our instructor seems to insist on using Professor Hill’s “Think Method.”
That’s all for this time. Have a bwayno day, guys!
I remember when everyone started parroting the “This one time, at band camp…”. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why everyone would snicker and make lewd comments when I mentioned I played the flute. Then I saw the movie and I didn’t feel so bad anymore.
And speaking of the Music Man - I was so excited this summer to go see the Music Man footbridge in Mason City, IA, yet when I got there, I discovered it looked nothing like what I expected and was disappointed. Also, I couldn’t find the old ice cream shoppe that was supposedly around Music Man Square….but I did stop at Wells Fargo. Best song ever: Ya Got Trouble (right here in River City!)
posted by Lindsay D on 12-17-2007 at 1:46 pm
P.S. Steven, you look alarmingly similar to another trombone player I know named Scott, but I suppose it’s your eyebrows and expression that really do it.
posted by Lindsay D on 12-17-2007 at 1:50 pm
Oh my God, Band Geeks. Single greatest episode of SpongeBob EVER. I defy anyone to watch that episode and tell me that show is only for kids.
posted by Ri L. on 12-17-2007 at 1:52 pm
the band camp thing drove me nuts too.
i actually attended the fine arts camp (not just band, but also orchestra and dance) up in Michigan (Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp). then i returned as a counselor a couple years after my camper experience. it is such a beautiful setting, and living in a cabin for two weeks really isn’t so bad. (considering that as a counselor i got to live in the cabin all summer.) i learned a lot there. now i’m a real musician!
posted by jennifer on 12-17-2007 at 2:30 pm
Yep, I’m a female flute player who was also terrorized by “this one time, at band camp…”. My best friend also played flute. Her name was Michelle.
And my band camp didn’t take place in the back woods. It took place at our school. 12 hours a day with 30 minutes for lunch. For seven days. Ten, if you were a freshman.
Brutal.
And, for the record, I love Drumline. I have a special place in my heart for percussionists.
posted by Erin on 12-17-2007 at 2:40 pm
I can totally relate with having to hear “this one time, at band camp…” a million times. My “band camp” was about the same as what you described: 12 straight hours of practice then going home. It got so bad that I eventually started hitting people before they could even finish the phrase.
Also, “Band Geeks” is one of my favorite episodes of SpongeBob!
posted by Marta on 12-17-2007 at 3:05 pm
You mean there are places where band camp actually takes place at a CAMP? Like in the woods… with tents.. and campfires and everything? Around here, all it means is staying in a (aging) college dorm, rehearsing all day and playing poker all night.
posted by Larriann on 12-17-2007 at 3:12 pm
no tents, just cabins. and showerhouses that ran out of hot water too soon.
posted by jennifer on 12-17-2007 at 3:27 pm
The Music Man is one of the greatest musicals of all time? Ugh. Try “One of the most annoying and overrated musicals of all time with a couple of okay-ish songs, a plot that is bad even for a musical of that era and a lot of stupid gimmicks that is trotted out for high school performances and the occasional ill advised revival and whoever originally made it must have been very good or the broadway season that year very bad because it in no way deserves seven tonies, much less an Oscar for that irritating film version”
I mean, I know it has a marching band in it, but seriously.
posted by Julia on 12-17-2007 at 5:32 pm
Band camp WAS at a camp… for juvies. Yup. On the other side of the wall (so to speak), they rented a handful of cabins and an 80-yard field to our high school marching band. The first Monday morning of freshman year, they served us green (scrambled) eggs and fried spam… anyone hungry?
posted by AmyB on 12-17-2007 at 6:36 pm
I, too, played flute…but luckily back in the late 80’s before american pie ever came out!
Our band camp consisted of a week at the end of the school year, 4 hours a day (so we could get the music we were going to use the following season) and then for 2 weeks before school started, 8 hours a day. The football team used the field for practice, so we got to practice all season on the asphalt.
Did I mention this was in south Florida?
It was a regular occurrence to have people pass out!
posted by Meri on 12-17-2007 at 7:17 pm
You are in luck!!! Go to website above and start at 11/10 through about 12/1 and you *will* be reunited with ‘the world’s greatest band director.’
No reward for posting this? I kind of had my eye on a FREE Pavlov long sleeved, woman’s small! ;)
posted by Amy on 12-17-2007 at 8:42 pm
H T T P : seattlepi dot nwsource dot com back slash fun backslash funky dot asp
posted by Amy on 12-17-2007 at 8:45 pm
Yeegods! I didn’t even know it was possible for someone to hate The Music Man so much. I personally adore everything about it. And I am proud to say I have made many big life decisions based on that lovely musical: I joined my high school marching band, I bank at Wells Fargo, and I pretty much decided to go to library school just so people would sing “Madame Librarian” at me. Yup, I dedicate the awesomeness of my 23 years of living to Meredith Wilson and Professor Harold Hill.
posted by Amber J. on 12-17-2007 at 10:03 pm
Well, you certainly have my thanks anyway, Amy. :)
posted by Steven on 12-17-2007 at 10:28 pm
I had band camp IN 1999.
posted by moonablaze on 12-17-2007 at 11:34 pm
I am a former Flushing High School Marching Raider, it’s a suburb of Flint, Michigan about an hour away from where American Pie takes place, and I can tell you that we did indeed go to a mosquito-ridden cesspool about an hour away from home for five days immediately preceding the beginning of the school year… It’s awesome to be sick of your friends again before school starts, and I totally agree with jennifer about the facilities.
posted by nathan on 12-18-2007 at 12:33 am
I worked for a camp and retreat center out in East Texas and we actually hosted a few college marching bands retreats. They mainly practiced all day long. I don’t remember them doing s’mores, but I do remember that we had a HUGE bonfire for them on their last night at camp.
posted by Matt on 12-18-2007 at 1:52 am
The Year - 1979. The place, the most awesome band camp ever! Senior year at Bloomfield Hills Michigan Lahser High School, we spent a week at a gorgeous camp in northern Michigan (somewhere around Cadillac, I think). Huge lake with a swimming raft and fire-fighting airplanes making practice pick-ups and drops to watch. Pine woods, spacious cabins, good food, and me marching up and down with my trombone, doing my best Lucy Ricardo (puffing out my cheeks and moving the slide, without any sound coming out. Aww, the other guys will cover for me). We actually managed to win a couple of awards that year.
posted by Greg Steinmayer on 12-18-2007 at 7:06 am
I am a marching band geek at heart. I loved marching band. I was best friends with our highschool bands Drum Major. I play the flute and I have red hair… everytime someone asked me what I played I heard… “this one time at band camp”… UGGH! it sucked so bad but our band was awesome. we also had black asphault to practice on. Central Texas is super fun in the summer.
posted by Sambo on 12-18-2007 at 7:55 am
I too remember hearing the call of “one time in band camp..” but thankfully I was a clarinet player.
Our band camp was the third week of August followed by Tuesday and Thursday nights 6:30-9:30 and Saturdays 9-12.
I was also in the pit for the musical my senior year, which just happened to be Music Man. “He’s just a bang beat, bell ringing, Big haul, great go, neck or nothin, rip roarin,
every time a bull’s eye salesman. Thats Professor Harold Hill, Harold Hill”
And also, Dr. Dinkle is now retired and his former star pupil Becky is now the director of the band. We always had a few of those strips hanging up in the band room. Especially after my first band camp which occurred during Hurricane Andrew. (when it came up the coast to Jersey)
Thanks for this blog, it brings back terrific memories!
posted by useless_fact_fairy on 12-18-2007 at 8:08 am
You failed to mention the Corey Haim film from the 80’s named Lucas. It prominently featured the marching band and has a special place in my heart because it was where my love for Winona Ryder began.
posted by If I Get Old on 12-18-2007 at 11:30 am
My first marching shoes were dinkles too! Although we too have made the switch to MTX. Major sadness.
posted by Zenord on 12-18-2007 at 10:10 pm
Band camp for us consisted of a week at the local university, with a performance at the end. In January we went to a weekend festival at another university and slept in a hotel. Music or band, other than bad singing, were not options at our actual backwoods camps (our choices here in Georgia are Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, or 4-H.) Although . . . 4-H camp did have air conditioned cabins.
posted by Cathy on 12-19-2007 at 11:28 am
Are you guys as cool as I am? I have the complete two first seasons of Pete and Pete on DVD. If you don’t have them - head over to half.com and get caught up in the awsomeness!
posted by Sara on 12-20-2007 at 1:57 pm
Holy crap, I went to Wellsville High School and was a band geek…although we were the Lions, not the squids. Although it DID make for great fun, chanting “L-O-I-N-S!” in the stands, which I’m *sure* no other student had thought of ;)
posted by Kristian on 1-5-2008 at 12:49 pm
I really hated American Pie for that line. I too am a red-headed flute player, and I graduated high school in 2000, so that line was the bane of my existence for several years. (I still hear it every once in a while) And, my band camp was an agonizing 2 weeks of marching all day, on asphalt in August in Houston. YAY! Then, we had rehearsals every day from 3-5pm the first semester. I passed out a lot. Fortunately I was spared this horror for the first two years of high school (when we didn’t live in Houston).
posted by greenstrawberries on 1-10-2008 at 3:14 am