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The Bullwer-Lytton Fiction Contest annually honors the worst first line to a novel. It’s named after English novelist Edward George Bullwer-Lytton, who gave us the famous line “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.” Of the pairs in our quiz, only one line actually won the Bullwer-Lytton contest; the other was made up by me. Can you distinguish the writing world’s worst first lines from the ones that are just plain bad? Be sure to leave your score in the comments below.
60%
posted by Sara on 12-18-2007 at 8:44 pm
80%
posted by Tony on 12-18-2007 at 9:16 pm
“Sweet Jesus!” I thought to myself like a monk with an epiphany. “I scored 90%!” I could not help but feel the sting of irony that I scored three times higher than the President’s job approval rating.
posted by John on 12-18-2007 at 9:50 pm
60%
You’re pretty good at writing crap. :) Fun quiz.
posted by cb on 12-18-2007 at 10:15 pm
scored a sixty, but wasn’t sure if i was looking for the phony, or the award winner.
posted by jake on 12-18-2007 at 11:30 pm
80%
My soul hurts now.
posted by bryn on 12-19-2007 at 8:23 am
90%, but then again, I love this contest. I have 5 entries ready to go for next years deadline.
The other lines were good though…
posted by It's good to be the King on 12-19-2007 at 8:52 am
70%
posted by Marta on 12-19-2007 at 9:34 am
60%
Some of those were hard to wrap your mind around, they were so bad.
posted by AJ on 12-19-2007 at 9:38 am
90%, but I recognized almost all of them from the books. I used to write sentences like this in junior high school, for vocabulary words in English class…
posted by Leisa on 12-19-2007 at 10:34 am
Sadly I scored only a 60% which just served to remind me that I was “stealing” time from work while perusing the internet instead of watching for shop lifters in the children’s section as my position of Chief of Candyland Security dictated.
posted by Lisa on 12-19-2007 at 11:33 am
50%. Win some, lose some.
posted by Patrick D. on 12-19-2007 at 11:44 am
100%
posted by Leslie on 12-19-2007 at 1:33 pm
Wow. I got 30%, and one of those was a freebie because I remembered the 2007 winner. I am impressed (and maybe disturbed) at your ability to crank out those ridiculous sentences! (How long did it take to write them all?)
posted by Molly on 12-19-2007 at 1:42 pm
80%. Missed Paul Revere & bitter pill. A bitter end to the whole affair.
posted by ugly1 on 12-19-2007 at 2:02 pm
70%. I work at a publishing house, and I must say, I’ve seen worse. Did anyone else actually like some of the sentences?
posted by MoneyPenny on 12-19-2007 at 4:21 pm
70%. Those were horrid
posted by Fran on 12-20-2007 at 2:19 pm