I adored the Quizno’s spongmonkeys. I was even willing to laugh, uncomfortably, at the chain’s infamous “raised by wolves” ad. But the new ad it’s running for its Smokehouse Beef Brisket sandwich is a little hard to digest. Watch it and judge for yourself, or take my word for it — the ad opens with a series of local BBQ restaurant owners, all of whom are upset that Quizno’s is poaching their customers by “encroach[ing] on our long-established recipes and intellectual property.”

Ha, ha, intellectual property rights are a hot topic! Isn’t it funny that they’re being applied to sandwiches?

Not really, when you consider that the message of the ad is: Hey, we’re a huge nationwide fast-food chain that’s killing off local businesses, and we’re proud of it! Now every time I eat at Quizno’s I’m going to think of Mega Lo Mart. Paging the spongmonkeys, stat!