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1. They weren’t particularly effective as assassins.
Thanks to the precautions warlords took to protect against evil ninja assassins (building homes with counterbalanced floors that squeaked, hiring bodyguards to watch them sleep, and requiring every member of their households to wear pants that dragged along the floor so walking quietly became impossible), there aren’t many documented cases of ninjas pulling off successful assassinations. Not to say they didn’t try. In the 17th century, for instance, General Oda Nobunaga was surprised by three cannon-wielding ninjas who tried to blow him away, but missed.
2. The first one was a cross-dresser.
One of the first recorded uses of Sun Tzu’s sneaky tactics dates to the 1st century CE. The story describes how a prince named Yamato killed a rival lord named Torishi-kaya. Disguised as a girl, Yamato attends a banquet where, conveniently, his enemy gets a little crush on him. Invited to sit at the lord’s table (just like high school), Yamato plays coy and waits until his rival is drunk before stabbing the man in the back (again, just like high school).
3. They rely on a Chinese guidebook.
While ninja assassins were almost all Japanese, ninja philosophy is a Chinese invention. It comes from The Art of War, the battle guide written by Chinese general Sun Tzu in the 4th or 5th century BCE.
4. The Japanese didn’t like them half as much as your little brother does.
In the eternal debate over which is cooler—pirates or ninjas—most ancient Japanese would vote squarely with the swashbucklers. The idea of devious, back-stabbing guerrillas who attacked in secrecy conflicted with the Japanese ideal of the brave, loyal Samurai. Over the centuries, warlords came to accept the necessity of covert operations, but only grudgingly.
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I feel obligated to add that “Ninja’s are friggin sweet”
posted by Witty Nickname on 1-3-2008 at 4:17 pm
Ninjas are mammals. FACT.
posted by muffy on 1-3-2008 at 4:35 pm
He most definitely is not one??
posted by mike on 1-3-2008 at 5:13 pm
This is from a t-shirt on randomshirts.com: “Ninjas Only Exist Because Pirates Let Them.” I believe that.
posted by Manda on 1-3-2008 at 7:37 pm
Ninja Please!- Also from a shirt I saw somewhere on the web.
posted by Kevin on 1-3-2008 at 7:48 pm
Dont forget about their awsome socks…
posted by meta on 1-4-2008 at 6:44 am
love their socks…..
posted by Jill on 1-4-2008 at 8:10 am
Ninjas don’t seem to be great assassins…because you never hear about them assassinating someone! Ninjas are trained in blackmail and diverting causes of death. It is fact that 90% of all fatalities are caused by Ninjas…but no one can prove it. -Master Splinter
posted by andrew on 1-4-2008 at 9:27 am
I suppose it is worthless to point out that the plural of ninja is ninja? Ahem… carry on!
posted by craban on 1-4-2008 at 10:27 am
Ninja Warrior rocks!
posted by Michelle on 1-4-2008 at 1:11 pm
Not to mention that they were sme of the first formal fighting groups that included women. Plus their outfits kicked samurai butt.
The thing that will keep me enternally on the side of the ninja is the fact that with all of the creative devices warlords employed to catch them, ninja always had an even more creative way around it.
posted by heather on 1-4-2008 at 2:06 pm
“The idea of devious, back-stabbing guerrillas who attacked in secrecy conflicted with the Japanese ideal of the brave, loyal Samurai. Over the centuries, warlords came to accept the necessity of covert operations, but only grudgingly.”
The Japanese momentarily forgot about the Samurai principle when they planned and then bombed Pearl Harbor.
posted by Mike on 1-4-2008 at 3:10 pm
So what’s the modern version of the ninja? Navy SEAL maybe?
posted by Blah on 1-4-2008 at 3:13 pm
When i was a kid i was fascinated with Ninja’s. After reading a couple books on the subject i was totally let down. There were no cults or ninja training schools. A ninja was basically just a civilian or soldier who had gone rogue. More often then not they were normal people with no formal training who had been wronged in one way or another by their mark.
posted by Jared Probst on 1-4-2008 at 3:15 pm
Ninjas fanboys are another, unfortunate truth.
posted by Rob on 1-4-2008 at 3:24 pm
This is the most stupid post I have ever seen. 3 fluff paragraphs just to push the ‘idea’ that ninja structure comes from Chinese war philosophy. Just come out and say it, instead of murking around it, and please next time come with some more elaborate facts.
posted by Not Impressed Ninja on 1-4-2008 at 3:24 pm
Come on Mike! Stick with Ninjas, it’s better than your history.
posted by igodit on 1-4-2008 at 3:35 pm
Ninja and ninjas are both correct plural forms of the word ninja.
www.m-w(dot)com/dictionary/ninja
posted by Chrstian on 1-4-2008 at 3:43 pm
Ninjas still kick ass over pirates. EOS
posted by Jeremy on 1-4-2008 at 3:53 pm
There is a true art of Ninjutsu(taiJutsu) and the word Ninja back then was the “N” word for these farmers back then. The true path is only the Togakure path.
posted by Sawyer on 1-4-2008 at 3:53 pm
Myth-busting! I love it! Good info…
btw/ Chuck Norris is a tool. Did anyone see him startegically positioned right behind Huckabee last night? What a tool!
posted by Celtic Rebel on 1-4-2008 at 3:54 pm
There was actually a Japanese strategy book as well. A Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi. But students of war had a completly well rounded education. But most of japanese culture is rooted in something Chinese ask any person who has been to both countries. Although very few Japanese people would admit that, I am sure it would be lowering them.
posted by Mario on 1-4-2008 at 4:03 pm
Ninja, Ninja Rap
-Vanilla Ice
posted by Chris on 1-4-2008 at 4:27 pm
Click Link To See Top 10 Reasons Huck Will Pick Chuck As His VP
posted by Nick Mockiavelli on 1-4-2008 at 4:29 pm
Ninjutsu does have it’s distant origins in China, but to say it comes from Sun Tzu’s work is just wrong. I would say it derives from Shugendo, and certain Yamabushi teachings, but that’s just me.
Ninja weren’t just rogues. Historically you had to practically be born into a ninja clan, which was typically located in a very rural setting, far from the authorities observing eyes. Simply ‘turning rogue’ and putting on black wouldn’t make you a ninja.
There are so many misconceptions, such as the myth on the ninja-to, a straight sword with a square guard (tsuba). The real ninja sword, if any can truly be called that, was a curved short sword known as a shinobi-gatana if I remember correctly. Basically though, they used whatever they could get or make themselves.
Today there is an existing school that claims to have official ninja lineage, the Bujikan of Masaaki Hatsumi. Publicly however all that is taught is taijutsu (”body art” - unarmed fighting) and some weapon skills.
Ninja were the original unconventional commandos that derived from the lowest of the low as far as Japanese castes go. Not accepted by society, and constantly under military threat by virtual of their unofficial religious beliefs, they had little choice but to apply their efforts to fighting and stealth for the protection of their families. They deserve far more respect and understanding than this putrid article conveys !
posted by Hanzo Hattori on 1-4-2008 at 4:38 pm
Chuck & Huck rhymes with suck. Coincidence? I think not.
posted by weefs on 1-4-2008 at 4:43 pm
in all actuallity ninjas were very effective killers however,nearly all the information was lost.As each dynasty overthrew the last they decided they wanted more glory and more reknown then the last.Also being that they had justed illegally usurbed the empire for good or for ill pressed them to destroy all files and personel effects of there predescesors being that most information on ninjas missions were kept very discrete the files were surly hidden in the palace of the empereror himself which was burned and razed by each dynasty.Same goes for most other scenarios, you just dont want someone to find incriminating files on how this or that person employed the use of ninjas to their end even if they were to die.Far better to say he fell over the catwalk or his wine was poisened, or perhaps he was simply found dead in the privy or his own bed.Whatever the case ninjas were generally long gone by the time there work was done thus no proof could really be pointed at them (seeing as they took there work fairly seriously and made sure not to incriminate themselves by leaving anything identifiable behind.)
posted by malaki on 1-4-2008 at 5:09 pm
I say it’s all bunk till we get the final word from the definitive source: askaninja.com
posted by Mikester on 1-4-2008 at 5:52 pm
if they were so ineffective why would people go through the trouble of getting guards to watch them in their sleep, build houses with squeaky floors(which must get on your nerves), and make everyone in their family wear noisy pants. It sounds like they were freakin paranoid, which could only resort form the fact that ninjas had a reputation for being effective assassins.
posted by Whitmore on 1-4-2008 at 6:26 pm
Pirates are just ninjas on vacation. :-D
posted by Monkeypants on 1-4-2008 at 7:47 pm
The most terrifying assasins were the Hashashin in the mountains of Lebanon. They basically killed, princes, judges, Muslims, Christians, whatever to further their agenda.
posted by Hamad Al-Abbas on 1-5-2008 at 5:46 am
This article is almost entirely incorrect.
Hanzo Hattori’s post about it being derived from Shugendo is true. I studied with the Yamabushi and both Tenkawa Mura and Hargurosan doing research on Buddhism and Japanese religion, since Omine Shugendo has its roots in Shingon. The armies of Omine and Hagurosan evolved into what we now know as Ninja when Nobunaga called on these armies in his attempts to unite all of Japan. This is actually why he invented the nightingale floorboard so that he wouldn’t be assassinated by the very people he used to obtain power.
I would like to correct one fact on Hanzo Hattori’s post and that is the they where not unnecessarily a low caste. Many if not most where just common farmers, until Nobunaga started calling for them, at this point class mobility amongst these mountain warriors sky-rocketed. This allowed some to gain great power and become Samurai.
Also since they are followers of Shugendo they grew up learning about the mountain ascetic arts. This is where Ninja Magic comes from, the idea of overcoming gravity, vanishing and all of these mystic arts are still practiced and part of the initiation ritual into Shugendo.
This post is so very wrong, that is almost boggles the mind. The poster wither did little research, nor non what so ever, and using Wikipedia is not a reliable source of information.
posted by Eric on 1-5-2008 at 1:27 pm
I feel the need to reiterate Witty Nicknames comments - “Ninja’s are friggin sweet”
Who cares about their origins. We all think of them as damn sweet and intimidating.
Thats all that matters
posted by Jack on 1-5-2008 at 8:08 pm
The plural of NINJA is NINJA, stupid gaijin.
posted by Ninja Burger Corporate on 1-6-2008 at 8:22 am
I never did like pirate what with lyme diseases and besides all they did was rob merchant ship and got their collective asses handed to them by the Navy.
posted by alirio on 5-9-2008 at 7:18 pm
Ninja wmight freak out and kill you just for reading this. IF, you are a pirate…
posted by James on 11-19-2008 at 6:37 am
If you really think that pirates are better then ninja, BEWARE! A ninja is behind you poised to strike. Ninja kill all of the time. They don’t even stop to crap(hence the black clothes, no stains). The do not stink however, because they are much faster than their smell.
posted by Jiimmy James on 11-19-2008 at 7:02 am