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In the lead-up to Christmas, I made a series of trips to the grocery store to pick up odd items. Each time I managed to forget half of what I needed, so I just kept going back when I thought up a new thing or two to buy. On my third trip, I realized I was standing in the checkout line with this combination of items:
Underwear (1 pack)
Clear vinyl tarp
Tom Petty “Greatest Hits” CD
Big box of Ginger Snap cookies
What did the checkout lady think I was going to do? Thinking about this reminded me of a story I heard in college. A friend of mine had gone to Wal-Mart near midnight on a Friday to purchase:
Smashing Pumpkins tape
Single white tee shirt
Box of shotgun shells
No comment from the checkout clerk. When I mentioned this line of thinking to a friend, she came back with another classic:
Box of wine
Discount DVD of “It’s a Wonderful Life”
Big knife
I know this is silly, but let’s hear it: what’s the most suspicious combination of items you’ve bought?
A box of tampons and a ax!! I’m surprised they didn’t call the police.
posted by Amy on 12-26-2007 at 9:20 am
Cat food
KY Jelly
Even i was creeped out by what I was buying. lol!!!
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 12-26-2007 at 9:22 am
2 gallons of acetone
fruit roll-ups
Vanity Fair magazine
got carded for the acetone - guess the Wal-Mart folks thought I found a new way to make meth with candy and society gossip)
posted by jen on 12-26-2007 at 9:31 am
Had a guest at my house from Sweden, we all went to the store where I bought
Two bed pillows and one case of good beer.
The clerk looked puzzled.
posted by Dianne on 12-26-2007 at 9:32 am
Tampons, latex gloves and skittles. Wasn’t me but some girls I went to high school with that we bumped into them when they were checking out at the drug store. We all had a great laugh. Apparently the gloves were for eating the skittles so they wouldn’t melt in their hands.
posted by Chris on 12-26-2007 at 9:34 am
To decorate a friend’s room after his wedding we went to the grocery store in formal wear and bought:
- Condoms
- Soap
- Saran-wrap
…from a 15 year old checkout boy who looked like he couldn’t decide whether to be turned on or terrified.
posted by Smash on 12-26-2007 at 9:39 am
My wife and I bought a condo a few years ago, with a month between our close date and the day our lease ended on our apartment. So we were doing some prepping at the condo, while still packing up our apartment. During this time I made a trip to Wal-Mart for: a large plastic tarp (for painting our new spare bedroom), some packing tape (for moving boxes), a pocket knife (for cutting said tape once we were unpacking), toilet paper (to keep at the condo while we were painting), and a Daisy BB gun (my buddies and I were on a BB gun kick for a while there, shooting empty beer cans or milk jugs for fun). This was all at about 11PM on a Thursday night.
posted by SpaceMonkeyX on 12-26-2007 at 9:43 am
3 lbs of butter
nitrous cartridges (for whipped cream)
razors
socks
and a flambe torch…
Last time I went into the store….
posted by Dany on 12-26-2007 at 9:51 am
Not me, but my sister.
Large Trash Bags
Packing Tape
Rope
“Diary of a Mad Black Woman”
Being from a small town and most people knowing my sister’s luck with boyfriends, I would guess at least a few guys figured she would be available soon.
Actually she moved out on the guy. But my mom did knock him out a second story window with a broom after he broke my sister’s arm.
posted by Patrick on 12-26-2007 at 9:52 am
Clam juice and an enema.
posted by xenylamine on 12-26-2007 at 9:53 am
KY personal lubrication
Toilet Paper
Brownie Mix
My husband and I got a very strange look from the cashier!
posted by Bell on 12-26-2007 at 9:54 am
Having been a cashier at a grocery store for many years, you give us too much credit. Rarely did I ever look at what was coming down the line… With one exception. A veeeeerrryyy old man came through my line with a box of condoms, candles, cat food and an enormous vat of vegetable shortening.
Poor kitty.
posted by k8 on 12-26-2007 at 10:02 am
this is from childhood, but i have always found it humorous. We had gone to the grocery store to buy tons of toliet paper to “roll” (some call it “tp”) a friend’s house. We knew we looked suspicious, as a group of twelve year olds buying nothing but toliet paper, so we bought some gum. My father later explained that probably threw the clerk off as well as condoms and a magazine would….we thought that was the funniest thing we’d ever heard.
posted by Taylor on 12-26-2007 at 10:14 am
my friends play a game like this sometimes. usually in thrift stores (but it doesn’t matter), they try to find the weirdest/freakiest combination of objects, which they do or do not need. i think the winner at one point was a pregnancy test and a clothes hanger.
posted by georgia on 12-26-2007 at 10:18 am
i worked at a drug store in high school and i saw some strange combinations. the oddest was
lightbulbs
rope
ky jelly
popcorn
posted by itsabecky on 12-26-2007 at 10:19 am
Basically condoms with anything gets interesting looks.
1 box Condoms
1 box BC powder - extra strength
1 qt Motor oil - synthetic
1 Monster energy drink
posted by Dave on 12-26-2007 at 10:21 am
The day before prom, I ran to Target to get a few things. I also had a video project due that week. I grabbed:
underwear
panty-hose
a bra
a videotape
The checkout was a teenage boy who looked at me questioningly. It took me a few seconds to figure out what had alarmed him. Moments later, an acquaintance of mine walked past, looked at me, looked at my things, looked at me again and bolted.
posted by Becca on 12-26-2007 at 10:23 am
My husband used to be a grocery store cashier when he was younger and he loves to tell the story of a guy who came in at 3 in the morning to buy a box of condoms, a pregnancy test, and a bottle of whisky. Sounds like a fun night!
posted by Sandy C on 12-26-2007 at 10:28 am
Sanitary napkins
Chlorox
Refills for air freshener
Baggies
One case pint Mason jars with lids
One case quart Mason jars with lids
One guy in line behind me asked if I was making up a batch of moonshine. I said, “No, the ol’ lady is canning berries and greens, but it’s more exciting to think I’ve got a still somewhere.” We discussed the relative merits of white lightning for awhile. His preference was for fresh off the coil, mine is for a certain aging, even if it is only on the truck. (But not aged in steel - I prefer Oak - got a family around here that is using scorched oak casks that came here from England in the 17th Century.)
The other guy asked if I was so p*ssy whipped that I was getting female supples for the ol’ lady. In one of those rare moments when we actually *say* what we later *wished* we had said I told him, “No, they’re for my hemmorhoids.” You could’ve heard a pin drop… and bounce afterwards. The redneck left the line, apparently because he had forgotten to get instant grits or some other Southron (spelling intentional) “food”.
The chlorox and air fresheners were for the bathroom, which had become slightly toxic after the septic tank backed up. The baggies were for sandwiches.
posted by Doc on 12-26-2007 at 10:29 am
large box of condoms
strawberry syrup
chocolate syrup
whipcream
family pack of aa batteries
…all on the University credit card.
(it was for our theatre department… condoms are used on mic packs to keep them dry, batteries for the mics, whipcream for a prop pie, and the syrups are ingredients used in making stage blood.)
posted by Emily on 12-26-2007 at 10:31 am
Five pairs of men’s long underpants and a can of vaseline.
It was a cold winter and I needed more warm underwear for the nights. I use vaseline as lip balm and had lost my old can that morning. The vaseline brand is Cheseborough klover vaseline. Scratch the paint a bit and it turns into a can of #######rough #lover vaseline.
posted by Olli on 12-26-2007 at 10:36 am
a porno magazine
a large box of condoms
a bottle of Old Harper
a couple panty shields
some fireworks
and two disposable enemas.
posted by Homer on 12-26-2007 at 10:37 am
I went through one day with a can of Alpo and a can of lima beans (which I got for my neighbor). The clerk said, “That must be some recipe.”
posted by Barb on 12-26-2007 at 10:39 am
When I was a teenager and a checkout clerk at our local grocery store working a late night shift there was a gentleman who came through my line with a 6-pack of Vaseline and a spatula.
posted by James on 12-26-2007 at 10:46 am
A friend of mine (I swear!) went to CVS to pick up a prescription for anti-fungal cream, condoms, drain cleaner and kleenex.
posted by Jill on 12-26-2007 at 10:51 am
-packing tape
-20 foot extension cord
-4 pack of sugar free 24/7
-NyQuil
-trash bags
-blueberry muffin
Bought at the campus Walgreen’s. When I lived in the dorm across the street I used to go in every day, but when I moved into my apartment it was kind of out of my way, so I would wait until I really needed to go shopping.
posted by Dany on 12-26-2007 at 10:54 am
Diapers (for someone else’s kid)
Condoms
posted by Becca on 12-26-2007 at 10:58 am
Hmm… I’m sure I’ve had more suspicious things in the past, but the one that comes to mind happened last week at the craft store.
*Two cans of spray paint (a lovely blue and a clear coat sealer)
*A large pack of brown paper bags
*Three different types of glue (modpodge gloss, matte, and heavy duty all-purpose)
*A bag of broken glass
*Two large packs of Xacto Knife Blades
I was ID’d for pretty much everything. The cashier might have thought I was huffing, except that I know her quite well from my many trips to the craft store. I’m a decoupage fanatic.
I spent many years working as a cashier while in college, and honestly, I couldn’t tell you any strange combinations that stood out in my mind. Most of the time, I wasn’t even looking at anything save the barcode and trying to move the line along.
I do remember specific happenings, though.
There was a guy that would come in every morning just as the store opened, go through the express lane, buy a pack of gum, and pay with a hundred dollar bill. My manager used to just stand by my register until he showed up so she could make change.
There were also these two guys that would show up every Sunday morning and clean out the Hotwheels section. They’d have an entire cart full of them. I guess they really liked those little cars.
I had a woman once pay for a television with eight jars of change. She giggled and said, “I’m a waitress and I’ve been saving all my tips!” I had to smile back, but in reality, I still curse her to this day for making me count out three hundred dollars worth of pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters.
Finally, one day this extremely pregnant women came through my line, buying baby things. I smiled and asked, “So, when are you due?” She grimaced back at me, rubbed her stomach, and said, “Probably in about three hours. My water broke right before I left the house and I just wanted to pick up some things before I went to the hospital.”
Gyahhhh…
posted by Stephanie on 12-26-2007 at 10:59 am
2 large Rubbermaid totes
pregnancy test
flea & tick shampoo
ice cream cones
25 minute calling card
and here’s the kicker:
those bungee strap things you use to tie stuff to the top of a car
I bet the checkout girl (who I had attended school with years before) was a little curious, but she wouldn’t make eye contact.
posted by adrienne on 12-26-2007 at 11:00 am
adult diapers
dvd- drop dead fred
no-doz
tire goo for flats
that is what you get when you ask if anybody needs anything from the store the only thing that was mine was the dvd and the tire goo
posted by meta on 12-26-2007 at 11:04 am
A bunch of bananas and a tub of vaseline. It was before a soccer game and we needed the bananas for potassium and the vaseline for our knees. (That still sounds really wrong!)
posted by Heather on 12-26-2007 at 11:12 am
So I am in line between a mother with young kids and some man. The mother is attempting to pay but her kids are kinda acting up and slowing down the process a bit. No big deal except that the guy behind me starts grumbling and sighing as if this momentary delay is a huge impostiion in his life. I try to give him that ‘go to hell’ look that mothers do when standing up for one of their sisters. And I see this guy has a box of condoms, a lawn chair, a rope and an industrial sized jar of apple sauce. Clearly, this man needed to be detained. Quite possibly by the police.
posted by erin on 12-26-2007 at 11:13 am
On Halloween:
Apples
Razor Blades
Paper Towels
posted by CableMonkey on 12-26-2007 at 11:14 am
A large bottle of gin.
A calendar featuring nuns.
Lacey underpants.
The clerk was a bit of a loose cannon herself though, there was no judging but I think she may have lobbying for an invite to the festivities.
posted by Becky on 12-26-2007 at 11:18 am
I was an overnight cashier at a large metropolitan grocery chain in the Northeast. The stangest items were:
Clothesline rope
a folding lawn chair
whipped cream
and a shrimp ring appetizer tray
I actually asked if they were having a party. tee hee
Also when I was a teenager, I worked in a drugstore (this was in the mid 80’s when the AIDS threat was newly recognized) and the drugstore used to print coupons in the flyer for free box of condoms. These really old men, who could barely walk used to come in for the condoms. And they wouldnever let me wait on them, they always went to the old druggist. But seriously, these dudes were like 80. Did they REALLY need a condom??
posted by qt314159265 on 12-26-2007 at 11:20 am
Went to a nearby service station late one evening and picked up the following:
1 gallon distilled water
Cotton Balls
Razor Blades
A policeman that stopped in for some coffee was very interested in me and inquired what I was up to. I let him know I was doing some lapidary work at home and was just getting some stuff I needed.
I was puzzled why he was suspicious of me until a friend later told me that similar items are used to cook up drugs.
posted by Jason! on 12-26-2007 at 11:49 am
At a Kmart:
oil filter
5 quarts of oil
black lace thong
posted by tonia steinkamp on 12-26-2007 at 11:56 am
My older (yes older) sister got married and before her honeymoon asked me to get her a douche (no frickin’ joke!!) because she was too embarassed! Oh like I wasn’t?! I was an 18 yr old girl buying:
a “Summer’s Eve” douche
a pack of smokes
Multi-vitamins
Hair coloring
I think back on that day and can’t believe I made it out of the store alive… because I was REALLY wanting to DIE at that moment!
She owes me soo big time dude!
posted by Ahhhhh!! on 12-26-2007 at 11:57 am
1 Box of Condoms.
1 Ring.
1 Pair of pantyhose.
1 Milky Way candy bar.
All for my best friends wedding. The pantyhose and ring were mine. The condoms and candy were for her. I still have the reciept.
posted by Emily on 12-26-2007 at 12:02 pm
If I’m waiting in a long checkout line, I like to try to “read” the other customers by their purchases. (Man with six frozen dinners, a case of beer and a TV Guide. Single and probably staying that way.) There have been times when a medical emergency forced me to stop at an all-night drugstore at 3AM to pick up a prescription. On those occasions I seriously wonder why in the world someone came out in the dead of night to buy, for example, a can of Aqua-Net and a package of shoelaces? I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’re a third-shift auto worker and the wife asked them to pick up a few things on the way home…
posted by Jill on 12-26-2007 at 12:04 pm
I used to work in a 7-11 in high school. Without fail we’d have a guy come in every friday night and buy out all the whip cream that we had, along with a case of beer, cigarettes and a pack of condoms.
After the first 2 weeks we started to get friendly and make fun of him and his crazy nights. But he was always admant that he was just “Baking a cake!”
I almost started to believe him until one night, after he left, a woman came running in and bought a box of condoms while mumbling… “he never forgets the whipped cream!”
posted by Bilal on 12-26-2007 at 12:15 pm
On my lunch hour one day I didn’t want anything “normal” for lunch, so I went to the local grocery store and grabbed a one-pound box of Whitman’s chocolates. In the line waiting to check out, a co-worker from another department happened to get in line behind me and remarked on my unusual lunch choice. I had to cover it up by saying I was buying it to share with the other people in my department (which I did a little).
posted by Jennifer on 12-26-2007 at 12:19 pm
Once, when I was shoppping with my aunt and 15 year old sister, we got:
Several sets of newborn baby clothes (two of my cousins are pregnant)
A British Invasion CD
A jumbo-sized tube of chapstick
Dr. Pepper flavored chapstick
A 24-pack of diet Dr. Pepper (my sister’s a big Dr. P. fan.)
Some sort of eye makeup (I can’t remember if it was mascara or eyeliner)
And I think we may’ve had a pack of Burt’s Bees lotion.
posted by Hayley on 12-26-2007 at 12:20 pm
The strangest cobo of items I have ever bought:
bleach
a mop
garbage bags-extra large
a knife sharpener
a chili pot
and 2 rolls of paper towel.
They finally had chili pots on sale and we were cleaning our house for move-out.
posted by joy on 12-26-2007 at 12:38 pm
True story. I was christmas shopping at a bookstore for two friends and my girlfriend a few years back, one was pre-med, one a true crime buff, and my girlfriend wanted a new copy of an old book of hers.
My purchases:
“Gray’s Anatomy of the Human Body”
“The True Story of Jack the Ripper”
“The Joy of Sex”
I really didn’t think much of it at the time, and I don’t remember if the clerk eyeballed me or not, but we had a laugh about a few weeks later.
posted by ArtF on 12-26-2007 at 12:40 pm
Once in check-out, I had candy, cokes, q-tips, baby powder and vaseline. I also bought baby-shampoo and “wee-wee pads” for our maltese puppy. The wee-wee pads were in a container and looked mush like a package of diapers- and the checkout boy assumed that they were. He asked me if they were absorbent- and I replied that I guessed so. He then asked if we used velcro or safety pens. I looked at him strangely and stated:”We just put one on the floor and hope he goes on it”. It wasn’t until I got outside the store that I realized what he was thinking.
posted by harold on 12-26-2007 at 12:54 pm
I was on vacation when I went into a CVS Pharmacy and bought:
Duct tape
Vasoline
Disposable Camera
The clerk jokingly said “Looks like you’re going to have fun tonight.”
I said “You have no idea.”
Obviously, the three items weren’t related or bought for the same reason,
but my little smirk as I left made her think twice about the little joke she’d made.
posted by Bryan on 12-26-2007 at 1:03 pm
Disposable camera
Condoms
Fly swatter
posted by Patrick on 12-26-2007 at 1:14 pm
mind you, it was college in a little place called Santa Cruz…
brownie mix
baking pan
2lbs of butter
cheese cloth
the friend I was with was “paranoid” at the time and swore the woman knew his intentions.
posted by AJ on 12-26-2007 at 1:15 pm
I swear to god, my mother once sent me to the store for a jar of beans for soup, and toilet paper. I don’t think her aim was to humiliate me as much as possible, but I could be wrong. We still joke that I should have grabbed some Bean-O too.
I also once went shopping with my brother, and we bought a pack of hot dogs and a huge sommer sausage. Mmmm, meaty.
One of my favorite things to do if I have to buy feminine hygene products or underwear is go through a check-out with a youngish guy as the checker. The best way to deal with embarassment is to share it!
posted by frumpiefox on 12-26-2007 at 1:17 pm
Great post!
One of my favorite memories from my 1995-97 stint as an A&P cashier was the guy who bought 14 pounds of bananas and an air freshener.
posted by Jason on 12-26-2007 at 1:21 pm
Massive drum of whey protein drink mix,
Cat food,
Butane lighter fuel,
glow sticks,
wine coolers,
taquitos,
Machete,
and a three pack of thongs…
The cashier did inquire as to my plans for the evening
posted by Rachael on 12-26-2007 at 1:25 pm
My wife, her friend & I went to get supplies for a friend’s wedding…around midnight.
1 large roll cellophane wrap
2 apples
1 box non-lubricated condoms
posted by Bob Jones, Esq. on 12-26-2007 at 1:42 pm
-Rope
-Liter fluid
-Duct Tape
-Rum
-Coke
-Tampons
-Bag of assorted plastic army men
The clerk looked at my stuff and asked what the army men were for.
posted by Diane on 12-26-2007 at 1:51 pm
-twelve cans of cat food
-36 pack of condoms
-3 packs of cigarettes
clerk asked if I was staying in that night with my cat. for shame…
posted by nick b on 12-26-2007 at 1:51 pm
I worked at a CVS in my youth and had to ring up a guy buying three cans of tuna and a box of Trojans. It haunts me to this day.
posted by Stuart on 12-26-2007 at 1:52 pm
LAST NIGHT:
18 PACK OF BUD LIGHT AND A BOX OF EXTRA STRENGTH MIDOL
posted by TIM on 12-26-2007 at 2:00 pm
Long ago, I had a boyfriend who preferred/needed a specific type of condom - Magnum. (Yes, XL. Heh. Heh.) These were somewhat hard to find so when I ran across them at Venture, and they were $2 cheaper than across town, I bought four boxes. So I hit the checkout with four dozen extra large condoms, thank you very much. The cashier was nonchalant until he asked “Will there be anything else”? “No, I think I have enough for now.”. He grinned, and blushed, and we both cracked up.
posted by bettycat on 12-26-2007 at 2:03 pm
My boyfriend and I were going through a tough point in our relationship, we went to the store and bought and 12 pack of beer, a bottle of wine, a box of condoms and a pregnancy test. The clerk just rolled her eyes and rung it up. I looked through the window as we were leaving and she was laughing hysterically. At least someone found it funny!!!
posted by Shelly on 12-26-2007 at 2:16 pm
3-painters tarps
500′ of heavy climbing rope
a small climbing ax
Zig zags
box of condoms
and a bag of lye
The lye and the painters tarps were for my dad who was doing some work around the house. Everything else was for me, My girlfriend at the time and I were going climbing/camping and she did not own an ax or rope. The clerk said nothing, but the guy behind kept giving odd looks and made a comment under his breath about staying the @$#% away from me.
posted by desert guy on 12-26-2007 at 2:25 pm
“How To Make 1001 Cocktails” as well as “Five Minutes to Orgasm”. The clerk seemed nervous.
posted by theanginator on 12-26-2007 at 2:26 pm
A friend of mine on Halloween a few years ago went to a grocery store and bought a packet of razor blades and a bag of apples. The manager called the cops…
posted by Billy on 12-26-2007 at 2:37 pm
When I was around 12 years old I used to go to a religious camp in Northern Michigan, and one of the camp tradition was the boys playing this game called the Greased Pig, wherein a large watermelon would be slathered with vaseline and launched into Round Lake, and the boys would race out to get the watermelon and bring it back in.
So picture if you will, one adult male in his forties with a group of 7 or 8 boys between the ages of 10 and 16 walking into the local Spartan store to buy two large tubs of vaseline, 3 large watermelons, and a large bag of various candy (the prize for winning). I think the clerks probably had some interesting ideas about what was happening at that Church Camp.
posted by Nathan on 12-26-2007 at 2:49 pm
Once, I went to the store, in need of tampons. I grabbed them and wandered around the store for a bit, picking up a couple more items. It wasn’t until I got to the register that I realized what I had gotten, and nothing else, was:
- tampons
- Midol
- M&Ms
I got a pretty good laugh out of that one.
posted by caitlen315 on 12-26-2007 at 3:05 pm
A friend of mine ended up in line at Wal-mart with a box of lightbulbs, one cucumber, and a tube of chapstick. The check-out lady’s comment: “Looks like someone’s having fun tonight.”
posted by bas on 12-26-2007 at 3:10 pm
I used to work at a grocery store and once saw a shifty-looking guy buying a jar of Vaseline and a huge salami. I wish I were making that up.
posted by Peter Lynn on 12-26-2007 at 3:12 pm
Myself (female) and my female friend went to a 24 hr pharmacy to get her a pregnancy test because she was freaking out and couldn’t wait. I went in for company and as the cashier rung up my friend’s lonely pregnancy test, me grinning by her side, I said sheepishly and with tender emotion “we’re praying for a miracle.” Knowing my humor, my friend just giggled but the cashier was just confused.
posted by Omega on 12-26-2007 at 3:20 pm
A friend & his dogs met up with a couple of skunks one evening and all three dogs were sprayed straight in the face. Washing a dog in tomato juice is an old wives tale and doesn’t work very well at all. OTOH, Feminine douche works much better at breaking down the skunk spray chemicals and it’s better for working around delicate tissues (nose, mouth & eyes). My friend has three big dogs (2 German Shepherd Dogs & a Lab) and knew he needed a lot of douche solution to sufficiently de-skunk them. So he went to three drug stores and cleared out their stocks of Massingil. Fred is a matter-of-fact kind of guy and doesn’t get embarrassed. In fact it wasn’t until he was telling us about this the next day, that he recalled that he did get some strange looks from the cashiers and customers.
Chris
posted by Chris Jung on 12-26-2007 at 3:39 pm
About an hour ago I bought:
4×4 gauze pads
dandruff shampoo
laxative pills
driveway deicer
blueberry waffles
It was busy as hell at walmart so I doubt if it was noticed, but after reading 64 comments…I noticed
posted by firemanpat on 12-26-2007 at 3:49 pm
I have a friend who does checkout sometimes at her work. Her best story was:
Condoms
Vaseline
Pillsbury Crescent Rolls
So she asked the couple what the rolls were for. :P
posted by Katherine on 12-26-2007 at 4:29 pm
i was working at a store one summer n some guy came up to check out. the wierdest thing, he bought,
one eight pack roll of paper towels
bottled water
knife
and a yamika
i think he went to the hospital later.
posted by Tazzetty on 12-26-2007 at 4:45 pm
A few years ago, I saw a woman checking out with at least 15 gallons of milk, of varying degrees of wholeness, and one box of Chex cereal.
My friend in high school and I once bought a 24 pack of toilet paper and a bottle of extra strength Immodium AD just for funsies.
posted by Tanya on 12-26-2007 at 4:48 pm
i might be able to see this during christmas, but this was during the summer. the man in front of me in line had,
skimmpy lingerie
and a spongebob dvd
i think he got batteries and a slim jim too.
posted by alicia on 12-26-2007 at 4:52 pm
i swear that this is true: i was in line at safeway at maybe ten at night, and the semi-haggard but not totally psychotic-looking man in front of me had
5 or 6 large bags of ice
3 cans of spray air freshener
i told the cashier to remember his face for when the police come in…
posted by kate on 12-26-2007 at 4:55 pm
Hanging out with a male friend and his brother just before the Holidays we decided at 1:00a.m. that we all needed an item or two for the next day. Our combined as one puchases were:
a jar of vaseline
a large cheap bottle of wine
a can of whipped cream
a plastic tablecloth
hand sanitizer and Latex gloves
For some reason we had a very quiet and large people free zone around us - who knew!
posted by Sharyn Hopkins on 12-26-2007 at 5:51 pm
One box of tampons.
Three pounds of Hershey’s Kisses.
One super-fluffy stuffed sheep.
posted by Chris on 12-26-2007 at 6:34 pm
As under-21-year-old college students, my favorite combo was:
- sour mix
- salt
- limes
Other variations included marachino cherries, orange juice, etc.
posted by Sara on 12-26-2007 at 7:17 pm
Kate said:
>or 6 large bags of ice
>3 cans of spray air freshener
I have to admit that I don’t get it. Anyone care to enlighten me?
posted by David on 12-26-2007 at 7:18 pm
To combine two common elements of these posts, KY jelly and Theatre, I offer the following story.
When I was in college, several years ago, I was working on a show set in politics of the 50’s. We needed to slick back the hair of all the guys in the show, every night. KY works great and doesn’t melt under the stage lights.
We sent a very shy, young, female theatre student to the local (small town) WalMart to buy a large basketful of KY. She was incredibly embarrassed!
posted by Tru on 12-26-2007 at 7:31 pm
David,
>or 6 large bags of ice
>3 cans of spray air freshener
I think this is to preserve/hide the smell of the recently deceased. :) At least that’s where my mind goes….
posted by Higgins on 12-26-2007 at 7:44 pm
Mineral Spirits
Yogurt
Batteries
posted by stephanie on 12-26-2007 at 9:13 pm
1 Box of Condoms
1 tube of Superglue
1 10lb bag of ice
1 roll Duct Tape
1 20oz bottle of Dr. Pepper
posted by Heather on 12-26-2007 at 9:20 pm
I was standing behind a guy in Wal-Mart who was purchasing
8 boxes of Melba Toast
a tub of Sour Cream
8 boxes of Italian dressing mix
and 5 tubes of diaper rash ointment
I never wanna go to a party he is throwing lol
posted by Stephanie on 12-26-2007 at 9:24 pm
Reminds me of a joke.
Young guy goes to checkout with a six pack of beer, a four pack of toilet paper, Easy Mac, and a Playboy. Cute girl behind the counter is ringing this stuff up, and asks him, “Single, huh?”
“Yeah,” he says. “How could ya tell?”
“Cause you’re ugly.”
posted by Johnny Cat on 12-26-2007 at 10:06 pm
My dad, for me one day went in to get me the SI Swimsuit Issue, and a box of Hot Chocolate for my sister. The clerk said, “Got a good night planned, huh?”
posted by Kevin on 12-26-2007 at 10:38 pm
At a pharmacy/variety store in Akron
Brillo Pads
A personal massager
A carton of Virginia Slims
An inflatable rabbit
A can of spam
posted by Cynthia on 12-26-2007 at 10:48 pm
three chorizo sausages
lotion
posted by kam on 12-26-2007 at 10:59 pm
I’m an ER doc, and once took care of a kid who managed to fall into a cactus and had spines all over. We were trying to figure out the least painful way to remove literally hundreds of them, and decided that something like hair wax would do the trick. I went to the store and purchased the following:
Brazilian bikini wax
Duct tape
Rubber cement
And got some very strange looks. Matters were not helped any when I tried to explain that it wasn’t for me, but for an 11 year old boy.
posted by Trey on 12-27-2007 at 2:44 am
Copy of “Mean Girls” on DVD (Gift for a cousin).
Tub of Butter.
9 Volt Battery.
Reeses Nutrageous.
No idea what the lass at the counter thought of that.
posted by Martyn on 12-27-2007 at 5:48 am
this was on christmas day. my boyfriend and i were running around from gas station to gas station to get some rolling papers. first one was closed. the next three didn’t sell them individually (they only came in packs of bugle tobacco). buying rolling papers by themselves is always suspicious, so my boyfriend always buys a snickers bar to [maybe] ease the suspicion. he walked up to the counter at one of the stores that didn’t have the papers and a young girl was the clerk. he put the snickers bar on the counter and asked for some orange zig-zags. she said that they didn’t have them, and asked him if he still wanted the snickers. she obviously caught on. but it was cool, because she seemed of sound mind.
it always seems to to work out that whenever i need tampons, i never need anything else, save for maybe a couple items. i always end up with tampons, ice-cream, and chocolate.
and i’m always amazed at the sight of an overweight woman with a cart full of diet soda. i almost want to say “‘diet’ doesn’t mean ‘good for you!’ drink some juice or something!”
posted by Holly on 12-27-2007 at 7:21 am
Condoms and Super Glue.
The clerk said “That’s just wrong.”
posted by Mike on 12-27-2007 at 7:54 am
Pamprin
Building Contractor sized/30+ gallon garbage bags
bleach
multisurface cleansers with bleach
disposable rubber gloves
paper towels
hair dye
vaseline
duct tape
anniversary card
The cashier at Target didn’t say a thing…however my brother who was shopping with me asked exactly what I had planned for my 2nd wedding anniversary.
posted by Gwendy on 12-27-2007 at 7:59 am
Box of condoms
Lube
Beach Barbie doll
Shampoo
I needed to pick up the doll for my brother(he was 7 and going to girls b-day party) and i needed the other stuff and i thought i should get it while i was there… i really didnt think about it until the clerk raised an eyebrow at me.
posted by Sambo on 12-27-2007 at 8:41 am
My friend had a good one.
One cucumber
A case of beer
and a pack of condoms.
posted by Jonathan on 12-27-2007 at 8:54 am
A pregnancy test and a 6-pack of beer.
I know, sounds awful (I don’t advocate drinking while pregnant!). But I figured, if it was positive I’d need a drink…and if it was negative, I’d need a drink!
It was negative :)
posted by Erica on 12-27-2007 at 11:17 am
this very thought crossed my mind the other day while i was at the grocery store. my purchases:
four bottles of good beer
a tub of butter
toothpaste
contact lens solution
posted by the creature on 12-27-2007 at 11:35 am
Laxatives and Drano.
It sort of looked like I was ready for a more drastic approach if the laxatives failed to be effective.
posted by Allison on 12-27-2007 at 11:51 am
Worst grocery store trip ever….
Milk (2 Gallons)
Tequila (1 Gallon Jose Cuervo)
Wonder Bread
Baby Oil
Condoms
Fresh Mint Leaf
Worst Orchard Supply trip ever….
Rope
Hacksaw
Gopher Gassers
Minitorch
Extra Large Snickers bar
a half dozen sample packets of aspirin
posted by Jared Probst on 12-27-2007 at 2:58 pm
I bought ~ A nice bottle of wine, a pack of ciggerettes and a pregnancy test. (yeah weird looks)
posted by Dmereama on 12-27-2007 at 3:09 pm
diapers and booze. one was actually for charity. i’ll let you guess which one.
posted by LP on 12-27-2007 at 3:29 pm
went to beamans, the local agriculture supply store, bought: a long-handled # 2 shovel and a bag of quick lime. got some looks and a “where you gonna bury ‘em” comment.
posted by cooter on 12-27-2007 at 3:54 pm
baby formula
case of beer
ammo
posted by Jess on 12-27-2007 at 5:36 pm
This is a hilarious post!! I carefully plan my shopping around this problem. Considering most of my shopping takes place at Wal-Mart at around 11 pm, pretty much everything seems sketchy. Whenever my boyfriend and I run out of condoms or KY jelly we always fight about who has to buy them next. I hate buying them from a gas station because I feel extra sleezy. I also hate the condom/lube section…I refuse to be seen perusing the aisle so I spot it from afar and wait till no one is there then I run up and grab it and walk away. Granted, this probably looks a lot weirder than just casually grabbing it but I have issues. The last time I was in that section of Wal-Mart there was another young couple with a bottle of champagne picking up some condoms. I’m pretty sure they were talking loudly about their plans for the night.
posted by Leah on 12-27-2007 at 6:58 pm
Once I was shopping in a Wal-Mart late at night after returning from a test site in the middle of nowhere in a desert near Las Vegas. I had…
60 (all they had) first aid ice packs, 40 pounds of banannas (potassium for sweating),
20 small jars of vaseline (lips, lub on gear, etc.),
20 boxes of sanitary napkins (make great bandages)
about 40 packs of different sized batteries
8 cases of Red Bull
and a candy bar- oh, and I paid in cash.
The old woman in front of me turned around with a big smile and made a comment about late night shopping, looked at my cart and then never looked back again.
The cashier was pleasant until she saw the vaseline and the banannas (and the batteries and my fist full of cash). She suddenly went mute and wouldn’t look me in the eye either.
Obvioulsy I spooled someone as I was pulled over on the way back to my hotel and quizzed quite extensively about what I was doing.
posted by Stephen on 12-27-2007 at 9:17 pm
I don’t have an embarrassing shopping list, but I just had to comment. You will no doubt be amused at my Englishness, but seriously? Live ammunition at Wal-Mart?
Tell me this, though, do you get many shootings in Wal-Mart parking lots?
;-)
posted by Slippy Lane on 12-28-2007 at 10:04 pm
Hey Slippy,
Indeed — you can even browse their stock of ammo *and guns* online:
www.walmart.com/catalog/catalog.gsp?cat=170080
And shootings in Wal-Mart parking lots are fairly routine:
www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=shooting+in+wal-mart+parking+lot&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Happy new year!! :)
posted by Higgins on 12-28-2007 at 11:30 pm
Wow. Speechless. Culture-shock. Blogged.
:-)
posted by Slippy Lane on 12-29-2007 at 6:16 am
a hacksaw, crow bar, spray paint, a dog squeaky toy, biscuits, and bagels. unfortunately, the wal-mart did not have any ski masks in stock . . .
nonetheless, we got quite the look from the clerk.
posted by bob on 12-30-2007 at 12:06 pm
I was buying groceries with my roomate, like I did every week. Since we were night folks at a 24 hour grocery store it was probably between midnight and 2:00am.
My roomate commented that the cashier must think we’re vampires, we were only in at night.
I said that we only saw HER at night, what if she was the vampire?
She bared her fangs and hissed at us :)
posted by Stephen on 1-3-2008 at 8:47 am
oh wow. this is great. when i was cashiering i would look at what people bought, but never thought much about what i was buying. one of my fairly recent purchases that i recall::
hairspray
rope
12-pack of soda
baby oil
plastic toy nunchucks
cat food
ha ha. i am going to be super paranoid in the checkout line from here on out!!
posted by Pearl on 1-3-2008 at 3:31 pm
a copy of(the now defunct) british fashion magazine “the face” and a copy of “mein kampf” by A Hitler. i was the first customer that morning. it was for a university essay
posted by ginger nuts on 1-5-2008 at 6:05 am