Comments (29)

1. My yellow lab has a bark so shrill and piercing that it would surely make a highly sophisticated wartime defense. I truly believe that scientists should study him and build a machine that emits similar horrific sounds. Such a contraption would be highly useful in obliterating other armies. You see, those who do not immediately explode from the frequency seem to develop nasty cases of tinnitus — and that ringing can drive one as mad as the bark.

   posted by Becca on 12-27-2007 at 9:23 am

2. Don’t know if this qualifies as ‘changing civilization’ but my 9 year old husky, Jetta, is in the top five fund raisers for the 8th year in a row for the American Cancers Society Dogs Walk Against Cancer. She raises over $1500 every year. She also knows how to open the fridge and get my husbands beer.( now THAT’s a Trick!)

   posted by JoAnn Marrero on 12-27-2007 at 9:26 am

3. My dog is so special that he’s a cat. Cats rule.

   posted by Bethi on 12-27-2007 at 9:31 am

4. Bert, a German shepherd/lab/collie mix, took defending the house from strangers seriously. Barking and doing his best to appear aggressive while circling the car in the driveway, unless you had visited before and he recognized the sound of your car. One day, while waiting for my mother-in-law to arrive, we remembered too late that she had bought a new car. We rushed outside only to find Bert awaiting the incoming car, wagging his tail for her while she was still on the street. We never figured out how he knew it was a friend who was driving.

   posted by winthebig on 12-27-2007 at 9:40 am

5. My dog, Sugar, because she was a rescue. She had 2 different families and 2 litters in 2 years, was abused, starved, and skeletal when we got her. We added her to our ‘pack’ of 3 other dogs, and she is warm, well fed, fixed, healthy & happy. Just for the warm fuzzies this gives you (not to mention karmic points) she should win!

   posted by qt314159265 on 12-27-2007 at 9:54 am

6. My buddy Cisco, named for the telephone system I used to administer at my previous job, he is a yellow lab/terrier mix (which is interesting on its own, how did a lab and a 2 foot high terrier…. anyway.)

   We recently had a newborn baby, we were worried how Cisco would react to him, but he is a great big brother. When we let him (Don’t call CPS, we never leave the two of them in a room alone together) he will lay down next to the baby in a very calm manner.

   Also, when the baby starts crying Cisco will run around the house trying to find either me or my wife, when he finds us and whine until we come with him and fix what is wrong with the baby.

   posted by Witty Nickname on 12-27-2007 at 10:02 am

7. My mini dachshund (named Darra, which in Gaelic means “small great one”) turns even hardened vets into mush. Known around the vet’s office as “the cutest dog in the world” they insist on calling her that to each other. When my wife was standing at the counter one day and they were calling back to have her brought forward, when they asked for Darra, the caller on the other end insisted the receptionist call her “the cutest dog in the world.”

   Remember, these are folks who see upwards of a fifty different dogs a day. I think that cuteness would be a powerful force. Assuming Cute Overload ever got a copy of her pic, it could be one of the most talked about pictures ever. She could make just about anyone smile, especially when she tilts her head as she listens to you. Dictators would crumble at the sight into “doggie talk” and artist would beg for the right to render her on canvas or in marble.

   Don’t just take my word for it, check out the pics.

   www.flickr.com/photos/graspingforthewind/sets/72157600065645264/

   Enjoy “The Cutest Dog in the World”.

   posted by John(GraspingfortheWind) on 12-27-2007 at 10:15 am

8. My parents had a Scottie named Merry when I was growing up. She was so determined to save the planet by not letting anything go to waste that she insisted on eating, among other things, our old crayons and markers. She chewed the hard cover off of a golf ball and even dragged one of my dad’s golf clubs by the handle up the stairs from the basement.

   posted by Missy on 12-27-2007 at 10:30 am

9. I’ll preface this by saying that Lassie is now deceased. She was my childhood dog and looked almost identical to the television star her name was derived from.

   Lassie had a boyfriend down the street from our house and we were always puzzled by how she would wind up preggers when we never found her out of the gate or him in our gate (he was always tied up at his house). Then one night we came home early from church to find her sneaking back in.

   Turns out for years (we can only suppose) she had been using her long Collie snout to open the gate, sneak out and then close it again upon returning. And she had us timed so well that she would always be home before we were and back to looking completely innocent.

   Absolutely true story.

   posted by Jennifer on 12-27-2007 at 10:51 am

10. My dog, a wonderful Schnoodle named La La Grandma Puddin’ Tater, should be listed not only because she has the best name in the world, but also because she is my 8 year old son’s best friend. And since I’m quite certain that he will forever change the world with his brilliance, his best friend is bound to be famous as well.

    posted by Kate on 12-27-2007 at 11:13 am

11. My dog actually alerted me to the fact that Timmy was, indeed, trapped in the well.

    posted by Jeremy on 12-27-2007 at 11:14 am

12. My dog does my taxes, pees Dr. Pepper (comes out cold, too), poops redvines (so tender and delicious), and makes a mean fondue, and invented beer. He also directed your favorite movie and wrote your favorite book. Still can’t get the lil’ bastard to fetch, though.

    posted by Steve on 12-27-2007 at 11:43 am

13. once, I hooked up my naturally speaking software and had my dalmatian, daisy, “speak” into the microphone. the words that appeared on the screen as she barked blew my mind: “I know. I know all.”

    posted by rla_2 on 12-27-2007 at 11:45 am

14. Satchmo is my six year old German Shepherd. He has a horrible sweet tooth, just like his owner, and he loves to play catch. He was six weeks old when I got him from Companion Animal Rescue and Medical Assistance (CARMA) my senior year in high school and he’s been my best buddy ever since. He’s a little crazy though, he runs in circles. And I don’t mean the normal trying to catch his tail running in circles, I mean he finds a fairly fixed object and runs around it, this includes but is not limited to people and other dogs. I have a bench swing that sits half on my front porch and half in the sand (I live in the desert) and he’s created a trough on the sand side. The trough is currently about two feet deep and it would be deeper if I wasn’t trying in vain to backfill. He usually begins running clockwise as that is the direction he’s heading when he busts out of the front door. After a few revolutions he turns and runs counter-clockwise, we call it unwinding. If people laugh at him, he runs faster, if the company gets rowdy whilst hanging around on the front porch, he runs faster barking all the while You see he survived Parvo and Distemper as a puppy, both of which he had after being vaccinated. I think being so sick as a puppy scrambled his eggs a bit. The funny thing is, he’s wicked smart, I mean he’s figured out a way to keep his own toenails trimmed so I don’t have to do it and exercise is never a problem. And as for his future historical influence, when he runs a hole straight down through the middle of the earth eventually reaching China, he’ll likely start a counter-revolution!

    posted by Jess on 12-27-2007 at 11:52 am

15. I have a dog that is a rescue. She has only 3 legs! It doesn’t stop her from chasing, running, going up the stairs. She is a Catahoula Leopard Dog, which is also pretty unique up here in the north. SInce she is a rescue, I am unsure what feats she has already accomplished. I am sure in the future she will change civilization for the better, she started with our family.

    posted by TracyB on 12-27-2007 at 11:56 am

16. My dog, Daisy Miller, is truly extraordinary. She’s a Chihuahua that used to be anorexic. Now she weighs a whopping ten pounds. She speaks at conferences all across the world, helping dogs realize their full eating potential.

    posted by Lisa on 12-27-2007 at 12:14 pm

17. What makes our dog, Gia, so special? Nothing and everything. She just excels at being a plain ol’ good dog. If the world would use her as a model, we’d all be so much better off. Here is her philosophy:
    1) Stay buried under the blankets until noon. Nothing important happens before then.
    2) Treat all creatures kindly…with the exception of bunnies, creepy old men, and smelly children that poke you in the eyes
    3) If you eat shit, you’ll pay for it the next day.
    4) But rolling in it is OK.
    5) Clothing, cleanliness, and haircuts are overrated.
    6) It’s easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
    7) Kisses make everything better.
    8) Language, race, religion, and money are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is whether or not you’re going to share that peanut butter sandwich.
    9) Did someone say peanut butter?
    10) I think I smell peanut butter.

    posted by Jessica on 12-27-2007 at 1:20 pm

18. My vote is for number 14.

    posted by QuinO on 12-27-2007 at 1:39 pm

19. BB (short for Big Boy) was the runt of the litter. He was also the garbage can for all of the worst possible gene combinations available from his parents.
    His mother is a Shar pei/Pit mix. From that gene grouping he received his problematic skin condition that won’t allow fur to grown on his face and throat. Another little ‘gift’ from Mom are his collapsing ear canals that has rendered him mostly deaf.
    From good ol’ Pops, an Australian Sheppard/??? mix, BB inherited his white fur with patches of brown, gray, tan, and black markings. A very handsome coat, indeed. However, according to my Vet, the gene that determines the color of the coat is the same that determines the color of the eye. Hence, the whiter the dog, the greater the chance for blindness. Thus, BB was born blind.
    So here I have this medium size dog with no fur on his face and throat, who is blind and mostly deaf. Awwww, you say? No, just wait. Now, I’ll explain why he should be a candidate for world changing canine.
    This is a pooch with a demeanor of neverending hopefulness, good nature and determination. At any given time, you will find him overflowing with love and gratitude at the least sign of attention. He finds his way through the house and around the back yard as though he has it totally mapped out in his head. And when he does by chance run into a chair or a doorway, he smiles and shakes it off as though it were a little joke on him. When he goes looking for me, you can bet he will find me, no matter when I might be. He greets all strangers with an openness and unconditional happiness that melts their hearts on contact.
    The world should take a lesson from this brave little fellow: The adversities that are handed to us are simply inconvenient, not immobilizing.
    By the way, when he’s really happy, he chases his tail. Makes you wonder how he knows it’s there to chase !

    posted by el on 12-27-2007 at 1:46 pm

20. My six year old Golden Retriever, who is also a rescue and had 9 other families. There are probably reasons they returned her, like she’s really afraid of storms, attacks other dogs, and well, rolls in her own poo sometimes. BUT…I have had her almost 2 1/2 years and I just put up with all the bad b/c she is a sweet girl that was just misunderstood at some point .

    posted by karissa on 12-27-2007 at 3:04 pm

21. WHILE IT DIDN’T CHANGE HISTORY, MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER HAS THE HONOR OF THE LARGEST INTESTINES FOR THE BREED. AFTER SWALLOWING MY WIFE’S DIAMOND HOOP EARRING (1.5 IN DIA)’ SHE FOLLOWED HIM AROUND UNTIL HE SUCCESSFULLY PASSED THE ITEM, THEN BOILED IT. STILL WEARS IT TO THIS DAY.

    posted by TIM on 12-27-2007 at 3:30 pm

22. My dog may not have saved lives, but he is an artist. This little Rat Terrier has been making poo art in my bathtub since he was a baby. Disgusting? Yes. He tends to incorporate other things like toilet paper and urine. Also, he is an escape artist. When I am gone, I leave him in the bathroom (room to play, can’t destroy anything) and he has started getting out, even without poseable thumbs. And he’s litterbox trained! sort of.

    posted by Heather A on 12-27-2007 at 5:42 pm

23. Where to begin….

    MY DOG IS AN EVIL GENIUS!!

    Aside from the fact that he does things on a daily basis just to spit me, he has mastered opening the frig. He has a ravenous hunger, which he seems to focus on two food groups, dairy and bread. Image the messes I have seen!!
    I have tried everything to break him of this terrible habit, but nothing seems to work. I am not sure of his McGyver like methods, but no frig type seems to be an obstacle.

    He started out on several of my roommates mini-frigs, while I lived in a fraternity house. He then moved onto bigger game. One day I found Loudog near death on the chapter room couch. I could not figure out what happened. I took a stroll around the house to check everything and realized that he had opened the basement refrigerator and eaten a half pound of raw bacon. That evening was an unpleasant affair.

    It was after this incident that he showed a BRIEF faze of moderation. While he would still steal everything in site, he actually began to store food like a squirrel saving for the coming winter. I would often find bagels stuffed into the couch cushions or under the mat on his bed.

    After I graduated I decided that a fresh start was in order. I put Lou on a diet and started to run him more. He lost weight but the hunger still raged in him. He began again opening the refrigerator. I began wrapping his leash around the handle and clipping it to the rear of the refrigerator. This worked for a short period of time, but then the fateful day came that he outsmarted me….

    He worked the latched side down the back of the frig until it was parallel with the handle. This provided just enough slack in the leash to allow him enough room to cram himself into the refrigerator. His next decision was either made in triumph or spite I am not sure which. He pulled everything out that he could reach. Coffee, Mustard, eggs, mayo, cream, everything was fair game. The subsequent mess was awe inspiring.

    My dog is the biggest pain I have ever dealt with, but the joy he brings is worth the suffering.

    posted by Colin on 12-27-2007 at 7:22 pm

24. My two dachshunds, Denver and Rockie, are the best at keeping me entertained. When we go fishing, they bark at the fish and do a little dance to mesmorize the fish. Also, they do a lovely duet together when I offer them a treat. They get into this howling/barking/singing craze that is just melodic! Without them, I could be bored and end up creating the next black hole that would suck society into nothing… that would really be boring. Thanks Denver and Rockie for saving us all!

    posted by Cass on 12-27-2007 at 10:31 pm

25. My since deceased chihuahua Lena would come to my grandmas nursing home for those with alzhiemers…Lena would sit on the lap of every last resident giving kisses and smiles…and I would repeat over and over that her name was Lena, and then listen to the residents tell their stories over and over of their favorite pets. :) we both ate it up.

    posted by ekf on 12-28-2007 at 7:11 am

26. My dogs, Kleo and Kaiser, are every bit as unremarkable as the bulk of humanity’s annals of fame. If so many very average people make names for themselves, why not two mediumish, cute dogs?
    If you must have an actual reason, the scents Kleo brings to the house could possibly provide the basis for dangerous biologial and chemical warfare.
    Additionally, these twin puppies are rather cute.

    posted by LorinJuliet on 12-28-2007 at 8:21 am

27. A few comments:

    Fist:#7 your dog really is darn cute!
    Second:#10 Schnoodles rule!
    Third: #19 BB sounds like a wonderful dog.

    Third, all dogs are the best dogs! My dogs are the best dogs in my world, because they are my dogs. Oliver a mini-schnoodle (that hangs out with a pack of six dog friends all 50lbs or over), Arrow the lab mix (who has unending optimism that you will throw his ball it he picks it up and drops it in your lap enough times), and Poa the shepherd mix (who is a scrapper, but also the sweetest and most loyal dog you will meet). They are always happy to see us, they always forgive us for snapping at them when we have had a long day, always there for hugs and kisses after a bad day, and wonderful hiking partners. Even when all three of them are at the beach rolling in dead sea jelly guts, I STILL love them!

    posted by Dani on 12-28-2007 at 3:26 pm

28. So, it’s not the fact that my dog was rescued (aka stolen) from an Indian Reservation in NW Montana. It’s not the fact that he has an odor that turns heads and reminds those kind folks who petted him eight blocks ago of his joyous smell. It’s not that he knows how to bow (big stretch), tell the world (bark), or pull me around on my skis as we trek through the snow to get to the post office or coffee shop. He’s incredible because he’s attempted to kill more animals in more states than any other dog I know. There were the six cows in NY that he bloodied, though he did not kill. There were the seventeen chickens in Montana that he helped four other dogs massacre. There was Ms. Baker - my friend’s pet pigeon who was luckily rushed to the ER and saved. There was the badger in Idaho (neither died, but it was close). There was the duck in California who was the pet of a friend’s friend’s landlord’s daughter (that was fun to explain). There was the tree rat (aka squirrel) in Montana that he got in one bite. The list goes on. He’s a fabulous hunter… he has embodied the bridge between the hunter-aggression of a wild dog and the cute, fuzzy, command-abiding endearing qualities of a great house-pet. He is a reminder that evolution is still going on. He’s amazing. It has nothing to do with my love - but more to do with the lessons learned from a killer.

    posted by Sara Boilen on 1-2-2008 at 9:11 am

29. Wow, Number 7, your dog really is the Cutest Dog Ever. I am a cuteologist and have studied precious pups for a living over the past 4 years, and I’m serious when I say I’ve never seen a cuter/prettier dog. You are lucky!

    I’ve never had a dog, but my sister’s dog Baxter is pretty amazing. His father, a Beagle named Stumpy, had three legs from birth and somehow managed to stoop down low enough to get with Baxter’s dachshund mom. When I was 12 and he was a puppy he fit into one of my hands. He has survived eating an entire cookie sheet full of (shellacked) christmas “cookie” ornaments, as well as drinking a hell of a lot of treated Christmas tree water. He has fluctuated between sturdy and festively plump, and now 14 years later is as grumpycute as ever. His feet smell like Fritos. Long live Baxter!

    Oh yeah, and he’s never once barked. Not once.

    posted by Molly W. on 1-2-2008 at 12:48 pm

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