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1. Why Do People Tie Cans to the Back of the Married Couple’s Car?
This tradition actually started during the Tudor period in England. As the bride and groom left in their carriage, wedding guests would throw their shoes at them because it was considered good luck if you hit the vehicle. Today that would be considered a lawsuit, so we tie them to the car instead. And since walking home from a wedding with only one shoe is no fun, Americans started using aluminum cans instead.
2. Why Is It Bad Luck for the Groom to See His Bride on Their Wedding Day?
This common American tradition seems sweet, but its origins aren’t exactly tender. For hundreds of years, fathers arranged their daughter’s marriages by offering money to young men. However, if Daddy’s Little Girl wasn’t exactly fit for the cover of Maxim, Daddy might decide to search for prospective grooms in nearby towns, for obvious reasons. When these men showed up on the wedding day—not having seen their future brides before—it was common for some of them to flee the scene. So the tradition that it’s “bad luck” for a man to see his bride before the ceremony really started out as insurance for her dad.
3. How Did We Get a “Ring Finger”?
What Americans call the ring finger is not the same for everyone. In some parts of India, wedding bands are worn on the thumb. In 3rd-century Greece, the ring finger was the index finger. But later, the Greeks believed that the third finger on a person’s hand was connected directly to the heart by a route called “the vein of love.” Today’s Western tradition stems from that.
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I always assumed the ban on the groom seeing the bride before the wedding was meant to ensure the bride’s unspoiled virginity up until the moment of matrimony. I’ve read that engagement rings came about as a kind of insurance for women in case their husband-to-be seduced them before the wedding and then ditched them — a way of giving a woman and her parents something to fall back on financially in case her marriageability (and therefore worth) was ruined.
posted by heather on 1-3-2008 at 9:27 am
In Russia and some other countries, they wear their wedding ring on the same finger as the US, but on their right hand, rather than their left.
posted by Sarah on 1-3-2008 at 9:49 am
My bride and I saw each other before the ceremony on purpose. The church was decorated, guests had not yet arrived. We were both dressed. I stood where I would stand before the wedding, she entered where she would enter. I saw her in her wedding dress in the church. Only me, her, and the photogropher. It was wonderful
Truly the most memorable pary of my wedding DAY. (Emphasis on DAY.) Stupid tradition!
posted by Witty Nickname on 1-3-2008 at 10:34 am
It’s common for Jews to wear their wedding rings on the ring (3rd) finger of the right hand. Dunno where the custom comes from and my expert on Jewish customs is not readily available. Suspect it might have it’s origins in Eastern Europe as Sarah observed.
Also, I think it was the Romans, not the Greeks, who speculated on the vein from the ring finger that led directly to the heart. I could be wrong, and often am. My SO points this out on a regular basis. :-)
posted by Doc on 1-3-2008 at 10:44 am
tin cans replacing the shoes..hmm, makes me wonder if that’s the reason why the good luck charm gets over too soon..n is that the resaon why divorce rate’s sky high in US?
I wonder how,I wonder why..
-Zarkoid
Don’t mind me, am already enjoying the first weekend in the new year by getting drunk..
posted by Zarkoid on 1-3-2008 at 11:58 am
aluminum cans? When did aluminum cans first come into common usage? I know they used to use tin cans, before aluminum was used for cans.
I always thought (and not sure why) that the tin cans might have something to do with scaring off bad spirits? Also, they make a lot more noise than shoes. There is a tradition called a “shivaree” where people show up at the newlywed’s home on the night of their wedding and bang pots and pans and otherwise make lots of noise, to tease the couple and get them to come outside – sort of a combination celebration and intentional disruption of “the wedding night” – I wonder if the tin cans tied to the vehicle might be an extension of that? To make lots of noise to announce to the general public that the people in that vehicle just got married and also to embarrase/tease the newlyweds?
posted by Carol on 1-3-2008 at 12:17 pm
My best friend recently married and in order to avoid all those horrible bridal shower games (Sit with a safety pin in your lap for 3 excruciating hours and win a prize! Get back at your ex-roomate by wrapping her in toilet paper! and similar ilk) I instead researched global marriage traditions and had the ladies present match the global traditions to the country of origin.
Apparently in Poland, it’s a custom for the groom to wear a funny hat at the reception. Personally, I think that’s a way better tradition than most we have ;)
Italian wedding dinners apparently go waaaaaay beyond the finger-food and cake receptions here and can last for days.
In one of the slavic countries (or possibly Russia, I forget exactly) traditionally, the bride and groom kneel on a rug for the ceremony and the person who reaches the rug first will be the one to “wear the pants” in the marriage.
Hennaed brides are not only an Indian tradition, but traditional in Morocco as well. By contrast, Japanese brides are traditionally covered in white makeup.
posted by Ashley on 1-3-2008 at 12:59 pm
I’ve heard that the ring finger started way back with the cave men. When I man would take a bride, he would tie her up so she didn’t run away. When she leaned not to, he untied her, but left a part of the string tied around her finger to remind her that she belonged to him.
posted by DeAnna on 1-3-2008 at 2:16 pm
The tradition of shoes is not that far off from present times. In “Love Is The Tender Trap” (words & music by Sammy Cahn & Jimmy Van Heusen; Recorded by Frank Sinatra, 1959, the lyrics:
And all at once it seems so nice,
The folks are throwin’ shoes and rice.
You hurry to a spot that’s just a dot on the map.
You’re hooked, you’re cooked,
You’re caught in the tender trap.
posted by Matty on 1-3-2008 at 4:08 pm
In addition to being the finger with a vein that goes directly to the heart, there’s a Chinese excerpt that suggests when touching each of the fingers tip to tip, all fingers can separate except for the ring finger, suggesting that true love will never part.
posted by LoanForWedding.com on 1-3-2008 at 4:13 pm
DeAnna – you made that up! But it was very funny. Haha.
posted by Andrea on 1-8-2008 at 5:25 pm
In the early Catholic Faith, the rings were placed on the bride’s fingers as the priest blessed the marriage. As he ended with “In nomine”, the ring would touch the thumb for the Father, the index finger for the Son, the middle finger for the Holy Spirit, and then be slid onto the ring finger for the Amen.
Or that’s what I heard ;-)
posted by Teamhair on 6-27-2008 at 10:33 am
Andrea – I don’t think DeAnna made that up – I heard that string for a ring story as well, not with cavemen but later.
posted by Marlena on 6-27-2008 at 12:19 pm
Actually, I’ve heard the same thing about the ring and cavemen a few times.
As I have heard it, and I’ve never actually verified it but it’s interesting:
When a man wanted a bride he would kidnap her and bind her with rope. The longer they were married the less he would have to bind her to get her to stay. Eventually there was just a piece of rope on her finger to remind her that she is still a captive, and his absolute property.
posted by Sarah on 6-27-2008 at 10:52 pm
We don’t even know exactly what the “cavemen” ate, the sizes of their social groups or anything beyond what we can determine from their remains. How in the world would we know about something as abstract as “ring fingers,” about which there are several different claims about how they originated even in more modern times?
I call shenanigans. Old wives’ tale.
posted by oi on 6-27-2008 at 11:27 pm
And since walking home from a wedding with only one shoe is no fun, Americans started using aluminum cans instead.
————————————–
The writers of this article revealed how young they are with that last sentence. Aluminum for a can is rather recent.
Back in the 1950s when I was growing up we used steel cans. The aluminum can is a very recent invention but makes a lot more racket behind the car, which is the whole idea of being there. The cans are part of the “shivery” of the wedded couple and has nothing to do with the reason for the shoes.
posted by Ronald on 6-28-2008 at 10:25 pm
Many societies have used bands to indicate property. Or to indicate that the person isn’t free (subtle difference). I believe that slaves in many countries, used to have some type of band(ring) around the arms, wrists etc. To me, in addition to many other things, the weeding rings symbolizes that this person, male or female, is not “Free” to go do whatever he wants. Some part of him is controlled by his spouse.
posted by GT on 6-29-2008 at 9:40 am
In the Christian Orthodox tradition (Greek, Serbian, Russian, etc. etc.) the rings are placed on the ring finger on the right hand by the priest during the Betrothal Ceremony at the beginning of the wedding and then taken off and on three times by the bride and groom respectively (three symbolizing the Trinity.) The rings the bride and groom wear are actually the other person’s ring (they are gender appropriate.) So the bride’s ring belongs to the groom and the groom’s ring belongs to the bride. (This makes for interesting comments when my husband drops the ring he wears(my ring technically and I ask him what he is doing to my ring.) Moving the ring to the left hand started during the Industrial Revolution as most people are right handed and it became a necessity for safety to move the ring to the left hand.
posted by nihil on 10-1-2009 at 9:36 am
I know that the custom of bridesmaids comes from Medieval Europe. Brides would surround themselves with similiarly-dressed women to confuse the evil spirits out to hurt brides. Ugly dresses and groomsmen came later. :)
posted by Ann Marie on 10-1-2009 at 10:33 am
The wedding veil has a somewhat creepy symbolism as well. The word “veil” comes from the Latin word “vellum,” signifying membrane, parchment, or animal skin stretched taut. It has been suggested, therefore, that in Roman times the wedding veil represented the bride’s intact hymen. It was a symbol of her virginity.
[Of course, if the bride was fugly, the veil may have served the same purpose as preventing the groom from deserting her at the altar! Happens in fairy tales all the time, doesn't it?]
In Western tradition, brides didn’t wear veils over their faces–or veils, period–until Queen Victoria established the trend. Now it’s an essential part of any bride’s get-up.
I must admit, when I see a groom lift the veil to kiss his bride, I think of the Roman tradition, and say silently to myself, in geeky etymological delight, that few of the guests would imagine he’s symbolically breaking her hymen.
posted by Kikadee on 10-1-2009 at 10:56 am
My husband and I drove to our wedding together (we lived in Santa Barbara, got married in Los Angeles). Fourteen years later, I haven’t strangled him yet ;).
posted by Seanette on 10-1-2009 at 1:00 pm
Ann Marie is right about the bridesmaids but I remember discussing it as an ancient Roman tradition during my high school Latin class, so going beyond Medieval Europe.
posted by Jill on 10-1-2009 at 5:51 pm
In some cultures, the groomsmen were male friends and relatives of the groom, who accompanied him (like a posse!) in case the bride’s family refused to hand her over. Bridesmaids sometimes doubled as a protective group to ensure that everything went smoothly and there weren’t any “bridesnatchings” or pre-wedding seductions.
Thankfully, the primary function of bridesmaids then was the wonderful tradition we continue today: to give the bride “the talk,” share advice, and help her get ready on her big day.
posted by Valkyrie on 10-1-2009 at 6:35 pm
Kikadee- I seriously,laughed so hard.I can’t wait til someone’s I know gets married now!
posted by Nikky on 10-1-2009 at 11:06 pm
If ‘the Greeks believed that the third finger on a person’s hand was connected directly to the heart by a route called “the vein of love.”’ and ‘today’s Western tradition stems from that’ then why don’t we wear our rings on our middle fingers?
posted by John on 10-2-2009 at 1:49 am
Don’t forget the Richard Wagner’s famous “Here comes the Bride” … it’s from the opera Lohengrin, where the wedding is doomed to fail. Every time I hear it I think of the misery of that opera, not the beautiful bride walking down the aisle! The song wasn’t even used in a wedding ceremony, but sang around the bride and groom’s um… marriage bed. Most people don’t know this, might be an interesting article for mentalfloss!
posted by Sarah on 10-2-2009 at 12:20 pm
wow! thats cool to know!!
posted by Andrea on 12-5-2009 at 10:57 pm