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We’ve had our share of sign fun on this site, and we’re still riding Ransom’s recent sign post wave, so why not more? Signs of the most popular genus: “For Sale”; “Help Wanted”; “Beware of Dog” are, naturally, a dime a dozen, and we’ve all used them or can at least concede their usefulness. Then there are the weird signs, as mentioned by Higgins, rarer signs, the collectibles. My friend just got the best gift–a packet of vintage signs his mother-in-law picked up at a yard sale. They were bleached from sitting in the backseat of someone’s ‘72 Shelby, the owner of which fortunately never found himself in a situation that merited an insert in the windshield such as “send POLICE” and “need PUSH.” The latter might be kind of cute, the former more foreboding; anyone who heeds a “send POLICE” sign is likely to find a rather marinated disaster, no?
My favorite mechanic always gives me a giant billfold that doubles as an all-caps, 24-pt SEND HELP insert. It’s so fetching that I usually just leave it around the house for guests to stumble upon. SEND HELP. How disconcerting but so wonderfully straightforward? I know someone else who leaves one of these signs on her prayer alter, which seems apt.
And then there are the “Do Not Disturb” signs, which will either (if you’re staying at the Sea World Holiday Inn Express–holla!) be completely ignored, or, sure, curt and effective. Though hopefully not disturbing. There has been a fair amount of silliness in the pursuit of spicing up “Do Not Disturb” signs, with results like:
- “I’m Hittin’ the Hay”–a Marriott in Louisville, KY
- “Grrrr. Caution, you are entering the temporary habitat of a very special creature”–Kimpton Hotels of Chicago
- “You Keep Knockin’ But You Can’t Come In.” Little Richard-inspired; House of Blues in Chicago
- “There’s a Good Reason for You NOT to Knock Right Now”–Embassy Suites, who also ran their own DND sign contest; winners announced next month
So do you have a weird sign story, or have a sign you think should be in syndication? Or maybe you’d like to scoop the Embassy Suites contest results and tell us what you think the best Do Not Disturb sign should be…
I hve two stories.
1) While traveling with a group to a bible conference we saw a series of billboards. The first couple said things like “Give her what she really wants!” “Show her what kind of man you are” “Give her the gift that lasts forever” YThe final sign was an ad for a doctor who specialized in vasectomies.
2) In a nearby town there is a hobby store. Where most stores post hours of operation they have the following on a hand written sign.
When do we open? Depends on how late the party went.
When do we close? Whenever we get board.
What days are we open? Depens on how bad we need the money.
posted by Patrick B on 1-8-2008 at 11:26 pm
I love the do not disturb signs at the Le Parker Meridien in New York. They all say “Fughettaboutit.”
posted by Lucky on 1-9-2008 at 12:18 am
love the hobby store sign. very honest…
posted by Jili on 1-9-2008 at 4:33 am
Over the holidays, I passed a sign in front of a building which held a real estate office and a sandwich shop, among others. On the sign:
“Treat yourself to a gift of a new house.
Subway has gift certificates.”
posted by KJ on 1-9-2008 at 6:48 am
In my town,there are red “Drug Free Zone” signs on school fences. If I was a little kid my impression would be that drugs are more Ok elsewhere.
posted by Rich on 1-9-2008 at 7:55 am
In my town there are signs that say “Crime not tolerated! Criminals leave now!!” Like they will see the sign and say okay I will leave now???
posted by alisia on 1-9-2008 at 8:40 am
When I attended Mount Union College in Alliance, OH, there was a laundromat downtown that had a sign out front that read ‘Drop Your Pants Here’. After graduation a group of us took pictures of ourselves in front of the sign with our pants around our ankles. I’m sure that we weren’t the first to do it, and we definitely won’t be the last.
posted by Sarah on 1-9-2008 at 8:42 am
when i was in junior high school, i saw a sign at a christmas tree lot which said: “real trees for real people.” so we put up a sign underneath it which read “plastic trees for plastic people.” we felt bad about it, and told the owners of the lot. they thought it was hysterical and gave us free hot chocolate.
posted by mri on 1-9-2008 at 9:21 am
I was at Chipotle once, and the Diet Coke spout on the soda fountain was broken. Over the broken spout was a sign that said simply: “Not a Winner”
It almost made up for the lack of Diet Coke. Almost.
posted by Ashley on 1-9-2008 at 9:33 am
Sign on the gate of our local dump (I live in the country and have to haul my own trash)…
Illegal Dumping is Illegal!
Hmmm - department of redundancy department?
posted by Doc on 1-9-2008 at 11:52 am
I don’t know if it’s still there, but as you approached Odessa, Texas from the north on Hwy 385, there was a series of rhyming signs as you approached an overpass. They read, in order:
“16′ This is no lie.”
“Lights will flash when load’s too high”
“Overheight? Exit right”
They always made me laugh when I drove into town.
posted by Anthony on 1-9-2008 at 12:07 pm
In Hagerstown, Md. and also in Waynesboro, Pa., there used to be signs at a few downtown traffic lights that stated “OBEY THIS SIGNAL.” If someone was not inclined to obey the traffic light, would putting up a sign to tell them to obey make any difference?
An old girlfriend gave me a highway sign (where she got it, I can’t remember) that states “NO DUMPING ALLOWED.” So I hung it above the toilet.
posted by Ken on 1-9-2008 at 12:49 pm
By the federal prison in Wyoming there is a street sign that says
“DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS!”
That is too funny….He has an axe….but he has bud light.
Don’t pick him up in Wyoming!
posted by Darcy on 1-9-2008 at 1:04 pm
last year the maryland zoo put out a sign that read, ‘penguin and camel rides’ with an arrow pointing to the left.
posted by lucky on 1-9-2008 at 1:11 pm
I live in the desert in California and there’s an old sign I have a picture of that still stands by the road that says “Foundation for the Mentally Retarded”
posted by Adam on 1-9-2008 at 1:46 pm
To go off Darcy, I also live near a prison. It’s conveniently located off a major interstate (although far back from the road with plenty of barbed wire). Drivers pass a couple of signs every few feet that say “NO STOPPING”. I suppose that’s not THAT out of the ordinary, but I always found it funny.
posted by Kate on 1-9-2008 at 1:47 pm
In the Upper Peninsula in Michigan, there are a number “Do Not Pass When Opposing Traffic Is Present” signs. Just in case you lose your common sense somewhere.
posted by Jaime on 1-9-2008 at 1:56 pm
In Beaverton, Oregon, there are signs at intersections that read “Red means STOP in Beaverton!”
For those out-of-towners who are accustomed to red meaning GO.
posted by Six on 1-9-2008 at 2:45 pm
I’m in the hotel business and was sent a sample of a sign from a vendor that said “Please don’t smoke in bed, the ashes on the floor tomorrow may be you.”
posted by Ric on 1-9-2008 at 3:32 pm
Two instances.
1) There were “DRUG FREE SCHOOL ZONES” signs posted all near my high school. Some smartarse took a white marker to the FR… making it a DRUG EE SCHOOL ZONE. It stayed like that for months.
2) When vacationing in Kentucky (woohoo good times) with my family when I was a kid, we passed a Cmart with a sign in the window that read “PAINTS FOR SALE, LEVI & DOCKERS”. We still laugh about that one.
posted by Molly W. on 1-9-2008 at 5:18 pm
Ken, there is a similar sign in a parking lot near my job… it’s posted on some parking signs and it says “OBEY SIGNS”. Seems to me there’s a flaw with your target audience on that one…
Also, Becky thanks for the heads up as I’m staying at Sea World Holiday Inn Express next month!
posted by Sara on 1-9-2008 at 7:10 pm
This isn’t such a weird sign as it is a poorly planned one. At one of the local WalMart stores, a non-parking space was always occupied by some sort of vehicle (usually a motorcycle), so one of the employees was instructed to paint “No Parking” in the space (as if it would help!). Apparently they chose the wrong employee, because the space vehemently exclaims “No! Praking.” Seriously!
posted by adrienne on 1-9-2008 at 9:52 pm
My favorite sign was one in Daytona Beach off of Granada Avenue. It had only one word…”Don’t.”
So I didn’t.
Another one I came across in West Virginia had a picture of a guy walking with a “Deer Crossing” sign underneath.
posted by Mike on 1-9-2008 at 11:16 pm
Two of my favorite signs:
1) In Homer, AK there was a “Duck Crossing” pictorial sign, just cute little ducks on the sign.
2) In Canada, a sign about paying attention to where you are going, with a sort of three-panel picture sequence of what happens when you hit a goat. It had a car slamming into a goat, with X’s for eyes. It was so graphic.
posted by Manda on 1-9-2008 at 11:38 pm
Two of my favorite signs:
Rural Ohio: signs featuring a horse and buggy The buggy is a very specific shape: the type used by the Amish residents of the area. They are “amish crossing” signs.
At a hotel with an animal print theme. The sign for the door read “Don’t come in! I’m wearing only my leopard print bathrobe!” and on the other side “Please help! I spilled wine on my leopard print bathrobe!” They provided the leopard print bathrobes.
posted by Katie on 1-10-2008 at 1:47 am
At the Peninsula Hotel in Chicago, when the maids enter the room, they pull their carts in with them so as to not clutter up the hallway . . . and they hang a sign that says “Presently Being Serviced.” So of course, I had to take that for my dorm room . . . sure beats a sock on the handle!
posted by Kyle on 1-10-2008 at 1:54 am
In Germany there are yellow signs with a frog pictured. This means “Frog Crossing”… They are serious too!
posted by Lauren on 1-10-2008 at 8:07 am
Griffin, Ga used to have a low railroad bridge, and apparantly tired of removing trucks from it, posted a hanging sign well in advance that read: “If you hit this sign, you will hit that bridge.”
posted by Tim on 1-11-2008 at 7:55 pm
There’s a sign at the zoo where I live (in China) that says: “Breasts of Prayer.” No joke. It’s my all time favorite sign. Ex-pats where I live go to the zoo just to get a photo with the sign. The cage has lions in it, so we are guessing that they meant “Beasts of Prey.”
posted by greenstrawberries on 1-21-2008 at 5:36 am