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Ever since I was five, I’ve been pretty lukewarm on my middle name, Todd. It’s not that I dislike the name, but it just never excited me (my apologies to all Todds out there). When
I was still in elementary school, I even asked my mom to start paperwork to change the name to something more thrilling. I’m over that now, but I’ll admit that I still occasionally think about changing my name, but it’s really just because I’m bored. To temper my enthusiasm, I found seven people who had better reasons to change their names.
Millions of football fans know the name Joe Theisman (pronounced like THIGHS-man), whether its because of his win in Super Bowl XVII for the Washington Redskins, the gruesome injury that ended his football career or his abbreviated stint in the booth for ESPN’s Monday Night Football. But fans may not recognize the name Joe Theisman (pronounced THEES-man), the quarterback who played at South River High School and Notre Dame. The two are, in fact, the same . So why the name change? Students and staff at Notre Dame changed the pronunciation as a campaigning tactic to get Theisman the coveted Heisman trophy. After all, it’s much easier for people to chant “Theisman for Heisman” if the two words rhyme. For all that creative campaigning, though, he ended up coming in second to Stanford’s Jim Plunkett.
Friday, 1069 and Mr. Microsoft Zune after the break
For a rapper, the name Dan Miller doesn’t do a whole lot. So a 28-year-old entertainer changed his name to “The” Dan Miller Experience. According to Experience, he chose the first name “The” Dan (quotation marks are essential) for no reason, but the whole name change was to create an identity for himself in the entertainment world. His was called the most unusual name change presented to the court in Akron, Ohio, but he said the transition has been smooth so far. Plus he notes the added perk of the ability to name a son “The” Jimi Hendrix Experience.
A Minnesota man found his quest for a name change thwarted in the state’s Supreme Court. Michael Herbert Dengler was attempting to change his name to 1069. Each digit had special significance. For example, the one means he is part of the whole of life, while nine represents “relationship to essence in the difference in the meaning when actualizing the spatially everpresent nature of life.” The court rejected his attempted, but suggested that “Ten Sixty-Nine” would be acceptable. Never mind he had asked friends to call him “One Zero Six Nine.”
In November, Steven Smith decided to solidify his love for Microsoft’s iPod competitor Zune. So he set out to legally change his name to Microsoft Zune. He says he’s not mentally ill and that he won’t be deterred on his quest. The name would go well with Zune’s three tattoos of the Zune logo (he also has plans for four more). You can follow his journey through the legal process on this message thread, though you should be warned that any real content is predictably difficult to find among the flame wars.
Aurianna Dague was pretty sure that was her legal name, until, at age 11, her mother went to replace her lost birth certificate. That’s when they found out that the state division of vital statistics only had her registered with her father’s last name, Michael. Dague/Michael and her mother are now embroiled in a long bureaucratic battle that touches on issues of minors’ rights, divorce custody and the difficulties of red tape.
An Italian couple is being forced by the country’s courts to find a new name for their son, Friday Germano. He was named Friday (Venerdi in Italian) just because they liked the sound of
the name; the parents even said they would have named a daughter Friday (a move that would have resulted in endless “His Girl Friday” jokes). But an Italian tribunal told the couple to change his name to Gregory because his current name was “ridiculous or shameful” and could prevent him from forming personal relationships. They thought the name, besides being outrageously unusual, would conjure up images of Robinson Crusoe’s sidekick or would frighten superstitious Italians who believed Friday to be an unlucky day. The parents have vowed to keep fighting and calling their son “Friday,” though they admit that he will likely have to start using “Gregory” for official business.
Finally, vegetarian Karin Robertson wasn’t just thinking of impressing her employer when she changed her name to GoVeg.com. She wanted to start discussions every time she said her name, since it would stir up debates about vegetarianism. She insists that she’s not just a walking billboard for the PETA-run website and that her bosses were even surprised when she came up with the idea. She says her personal quest to start discussions has been successful, since any time she presents her drivers license, she inevitably starts talking about vegetarianism.
So readers, what’s the best reason you’ve heard for a name change? Have any of you considered changing your names? And would you name yourself after a website?
Comments (55)
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In Texas we have perennial Democratic candidate for Governor named John WorldPeace. Not his given name, he just decided the name WorldPeace would give him credibility with the voters.
It worked about as well as you can imagine, he has never won the nomination of his party.
posted by Witty Nickname on 1-15-2008 at 2:23 pm
i can’t imagine there’s a good reason for it, but i used to work auto insurance claims and i was once handed a file where my insured was named True Cool. at first, i thought surely it was the result of cruel hippie parents, but a record check showed he originally had a middle eastern name. a statement with him about the accident revealed his self-inflicted full name to be True Lee Cool.
on the flipside, my boyfriend’s best friend’s middle name is Cloud. this is because his parents let him pick his own middle name at age 3 or 4.
posted by tami on 1-15-2008 at 2:28 pm
Makes me think of Nathan Arizona, from Raising Arizona.
posted by Nora on 1-15-2008 at 2:33 pm
I prefer to think Dan Miller was just tired of living in my (the “real” Dan Miller) shadow
posted by Dan Miller on 1-15-2008 at 2:39 pm
As a former high school registar’s sidekick, I encountered many terrible names. Favorites? For a boy, Demon Jupiter. For a girl, Salsa Smith.
And for the record, my lumberjack cousin and his teenage wife have children named Harleigh True and Oliver William. Grand.
posted by Sarah on 1-15-2008 at 2:41 pm
My name is now Brigid, but it wasn’t always. I was born with the name Patricia. I don’t hate the name, but once I decided to leave my husband, I decided I didn’t want to return to my maiden name. So I picked a whole new first and last name (the last name is my grandmother’s maiden name, so it’s not totally out of the family). It cost me about 300 bucks, some paperwork, and about 6 months. Some members of my family are not happy about the name change, but most have adopted it. I can’t imagine being called by the old name now. Interestingly (and this may be credible or not, but still interesting)–I went to a Vedic astrologer who did numerology on my old names, and said the numbers were both bad. When he did the numbers for the new name–he said they were perfect. Hmmmm…
posted by Brigid on 1-15-2008 at 2:50 pm
My nephew’s middle name was Anthony, after his father, who abandoned the family of 5 when nephew was a toddler. He recently went to court and had it changed to X, a symbolic denial of the father.
Hilariously, his 6 yr old sister asked him in December what the X stood for, and without missing a beat, he said “Xmas.”
posted by Johnny Cat on 1-15-2008 at 3:12 pm
I had a friend who went through basic training with an airman whose last name was Buttsavage. That is one I’d put on the all time needs to be changed list of names.
posted by Scott on 1-15-2008 at 3:15 pm
i went through a huge phase from about 10-13 years old when i wanted to change my name. where i grew up there were a lot of lindsays in my age bracket, so i wanted to be different. it has never really fit me either. i get told all the time i “don’t look like a lindsay”. and my middle name is my mom’s first name, so not really an option. i wanted to keep it an “l” name, but i couldn’t decide between “leah” (lee-uh not lay-uh) and “leena” (lehn-uh). kids should not name themselves! my dad still gives me crap for it to this day.
posted by lindsay m on 1-15-2008 at 3:16 pm
My husband was given the name Andrew Todd at birth, and when his younger brother was born, his parents took my husband’s middle name (Todd) and gave it to his brother as a first name instead. They then gave them each a family sir name as their middle name, so they became Andrew Campbell and Todd Sargent. My husband is mortified by the idea that his parents did not even think about which child to give which middle name, and that he might have ended up as Andrew Sargent (with the last name of Smith) and the initials “A.S.S.”. Really dodged a bullet there.
posted by Karen on 1-15-2008 at 3:19 pm
oh, and i knew a guy in highschool from taiwan named poiyay (sp?). he said his name literally translated to “boy”. that’s inspiring.
posted by lindsay m on 1-15-2008 at 3:20 pm
I went to school with Phat Ho and Hei Fok. Hei’s life ambition was to teach junior hight school. They were both mocked regularly.
posted by Miss Priss on 1-15-2008 at 3:32 pm
Similar to Scott’s friend I know of some who was named Assman, but I don’t know to what it was changed.
posted by gus on 1-15-2008 at 3:34 pm
My brother and I both have esteemed family names. He has my paternal grandmother’s maiden name, Quinn. I have my maternal grandmother’s maiden name, and the last name of my mother’s absolutely beloved grandparents.
Smoker.
Despite the esteemed heritage of this name, I have hated it from when I was a small child and it got me frequently taunted. When I was forced to update my Social Security card to display my full middle name, rather than an initial, to get a California license, I was livid. When I moved to North Carolina, I was still forced to carry the full name.
In May I will get married and happily drop my middle name in favor of my maiden name. My mother will never forgive me, and is offended every time I malign my middle name, but I hate Smoker and always will.
posted by Rachael on 1-15-2008 at 3:35 pm
Note to self: read before posting. My brother and I both have esteemed family names for *middle* names. Ye cats, if my parents had given me Smoker for a first name I don’t know what I would have done.
posted by Rachael on 1-15-2008 at 3:36 pm
Hey lindsay m. I must say I’m rather flattered that your 10 year-old self wanted my name! However, as the other Leah _flosser mentioned, we have been plagued with Princess Leah jokes most of our lives.
Back on topic…I knew this girl in intermediate whose name is Breezy Cloud. Her brother’s name is Storm Cloud. And celebrities are going crazy with weird names these days. I’m pretty sure Nicole Richie’s daughter’s middle name is Winter. Not very flattering if you ask me.
posted by Leah on 1-15-2008 at 3:50 pm
Friends of my daughter gave their son the middle name Danger. “My middle name IS Danger” will actually be true for this kid. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It could be cute and a source of lots of fun or it could be a royal pain later in life.
posted by Larriann on 1-15-2008 at 3:55 pm
‘kay, think i win this one….or at least a friend’s mom does. her maiden name was Hoar. that’s about all i can say about that.
posted by mri on 1-15-2008 at 4:19 pm
My uncle fullname is Steve Orville Barton or as the initials, SOB. He had these put on his shirts, belts, etc.
posted by Lance Barton on 1-15-2008 at 4:32 pm
Until I was 10, I didn’t have a name on my birth certificate. My mom’s not sure how it happened, usually they won’t let you leave the hospital until you’ve registered your baby’s name. Somehow, they slipped out. So my birth cert shows me as Single/Female/7lbs 2oz. And that’s about it.
We always just laughed about it until I was planning to go to Europe and needed a passport. The red tape was rather absurd. It wasn’t a name change, since there was no name to change, and it wasn’t naming a baby, since I was 10. I’m glad my mom had to deal with it, not me.
I was given plenty of opportunities to change my name to whatever I wanted. I guess I’m not very creative, I stuck with “Jennifer” that I had always been. I sometimes wish I had picked my unique and creative middle name as my first name, but Jenny/Jen/Jennifer works for me.
posted by Jenny on 1-15-2008 at 4:37 pm
When I interned for a local newspaper a few summers ago, I was given random tasks (as student shadowers/interns usually are). Often, this was filing new subscriptions in the front office, and alphabetizing those subscriptions was great for learning of peoples’ interesting names. I don’t remember the one I dubbed winner, but I do remember there was a “Ginger Crumbly.” Makes me think of pie. :)
To the person who said Winter wasn’t a very flattering name…I actually think it’s a sweet name, especially as a middle one – fewer jokes and such. There’s a girl at my school named Wynter, and everybody seems to like her name. It’s definitely unique. I also know a girl named Sumer (pronounced “Summer”). Whenever I see the name, I think of Anicient civilizations – Sumerians and the like?
I think names should be spelled reasonably, but mine is kind of odd if you’re not familiar with the fact that it comes from Irish. I get called “Elaine” a lot, even by people who have known me for 10+ years – which says something, considering I’m only 16.
posted by Eileen on 1-15-2008 at 5:31 pm
Speaking of stories that get told over and over, Louisiana just inaugurated the U.S.’s first Indian-American Governor. His given name is Piyush Jindal, but as a little kid he christened himself Bobby, after the Brady Bunch kid. A name that’s a lot more electable though…
posted by Lindsey on 1-15-2008 at 5:31 pm
When I graduated elementary school, I wanted to change my nickname (Lizzie), just to have some sort of change, because I was getting older and going to middle school, you see.
So I looked in a baby book for nicknames of Elizabeth, and settled on Lisa. No one liked it. Stupid me then decided then to pay homage to the queen and
insisted that everyone call me Queenie for about a week. I finally settled on changing the spelling of my current nickname to Lizzy, and that stuck.
Actually, you can tell how long people have known me by what they call me, since I started calling myself Liz exclusively during the later years of high school. While at new teacher training for my job last year, I found out that someone I’d gone to middle school with had been hired to teach in the same district. She walked right up to me and said “Hi Lizzy!” And my next door neighbor will still call me Lisa or Queenie every once in a while to piss me off.
posted by Liz on 1-15-2008 at 5:55 pm
I know a filipino girl whose name IS queene! Also my aunty’s original first name was Henny – she changed it.
I used to work at a doctor’s surgery and there was a patient that came in with a new name every 6 months – she never suited any of them, names like Krizztel-Anne Belle & Pegesus Mae Swanning & so-on and so-forth in that sort of fashion… sad.
posted by Ashe on 1-15-2008 at 6:26 pm
I went to college with a girl named “Georgia Summers.” We always thought it was the perfect name for either a bed and breakfast or a porn star.
posted by jules on 1-15-2008 at 6:39 pm
I went to school with an Octavia, a Fashun, and Denova. There was also at least one Sunshine at school around the same time.
My brother, who was born in 1978, went to school with at least 3 Rhiannons, and also Arwen Evensong.
Names are the strangest things – it’s the first of many things that happens to you that you don’t get any say in (at first).
posted by Rachel on 1-15-2008 at 6:55 pm
I read an articla a while ago about a couple who decided to name their baby boy ‘4Real’. I’m not kidding in the least, but I wish I was.The story goes that when the couple went to their furst sonogram and saw the fetus, they realized it was ‘for real’ and named him accordingly.
posted by heather on 1-15-2008 at 7:08 pm
A very dear friend of mine decided to name her daughter Harley Head. Poor thing’s never going to hear the end of it in school…
posted by Jane on 1-15-2008 at 7:41 pm
I knew a guy growing up that was named after his father (and grandfater) so that his name was, let’s say John Michael Smith III. But his father abandoned his family when he was a kid, so he hated having his name. In high school he legally changed it by moving his middle name to his first name, choosing a fun new middle name, and taking his little sister’s first name as his last name, so it ended up (like) Michael Seamus Murphy.
posted by Sara on 1-15-2008 at 7:48 pm
Brothers: Albright & Alwell
Guy at college: Richard Craps (He legally changed his last name later.)
Indian kid in high school: Raguveer, went by Ragu for short (as in the pasta sauce)
A student at my school: First name Heaven, middle name Lee – mother insists on calling her by both together.
posted by Sara on 1-15-2008 at 8:42 pm
As a teacher, I have encountered many strange names. A colleague had a student named Sir (first name) Benjamin (last name). One of students had the last name Wood – her mother’s first name? Holly.
Different names also run in the family. One older sister named Rebel (family nickname for Rebecca), and another sister named Sanna (pronounced sauna). Her birth certificate actually read Debra before my dad wentr and changed it 6 hours later – without telling mom.
posted by Melissa on 1-15-2008 at 8:51 pm
I wish I was kidding, but there was a girl at my high school named Precious Kingdom.
posted by weeble warble on 1-15-2008 at 9:44 pm
You started with sports- how about young Guy Herbert (pronounced Gi Herbert), from New York, dropping the first “R” out of his last name and changing the pronunciation to the French pronunciation of Ghee Aibair.
Then there’s Jose Uribe, who changed his name so much it was ridiculous (Uribe Uribe was my personal favorite.)
Don’t even get me stared on World Be Free.
posted by Kevin Connolly on 1-15-2008 at 10:32 pm
While I haven’t gone through a legal name change, I go by my second name (I have three). My first name is the same as my dad’s, but mom thought it wouldn’t go over well with other kids so she started calling me David right off the bat.
My birth certificate still has the original first name though, and when I enlisted in the military I had to jump through all kinds of hoops to use my second name. I even had to sign a document using my full name; before that I had hardly ever written it, much less worked it into my signature.
I once knew a woman named “Birdie House”; that was even her married name, so it’s not like her parents planned it. I work closely with some folks from various parts of Africa, and many of them will have their tribal name and a Christian name that they go by; one guy I know quite well is named Godlove. I’ve heard of many women named Blessing. Another guy I know is named Philemon (after the book of the Bible). His wife gave birth to a a son while he was studying in Scotland, so they named the boy MacPhil – “son of Philemon”.
posted by Dave on 1-15-2008 at 10:53 pm
My wife at the time went into a bank in SF. Two of the tellers were named Bich Ly and Baby Tru. No lie.
Can you imagine someone coming into the bank and saying “Gimme my money, Bich.”
Hours of amusement.
posted by Greg on 1-16-2008 at 12:50 am
I hate, Hate, HATE my last name. For more than half of my life I have wanted to change it. It’s only two syllables long but it sounds like it could be a nickname for a sexually transmitted disease. There’s no family pride reason to keep it. I was teased in school about it. I thought of changing it to my grandfathers name, and I suggested to my divorced mom to go back to her maiden name. Using my grandfathers name I would feel less like (as if) I was lying. If I would come across a “normal” name that appealed to me and wasn’t too common (such as Smith), I would seriously seek out a legal change. But I’ve also considered words such as “American” as a last name.
In the past I’ve had a little bit of an issue with my first name which is how I became “TDave” – David is my middle name.
posted by Tdave on 1-16-2008 at 2:30 am
The worst name I can think of is a girl in my high school class who was named Summer Fair.
The best is a police sergeant in Canada named Law Power. I don’t know if that’s the result of a guy who is very much into his work or just a happy accident, though.
posted by Ramsey on 1-16-2008 at 3:35 am
The Sheriff in Aiken County, South Carolina is named Mike Hunt. He refuses to let people call him Michael.
posted by renton on 1-16-2008 at 4:21 am
I knew two sisters called Wilde and Chilli. I’m not sure what their last names were but even the first names are bad enough!
posted by mandy on 1-16-2008 at 8:37 am
I work at a college where we have a student named Carrie A. Ball. Her mother talked to me on the phone one day and thought herself to be very clever.
I used to work the obituary desk at the local newspaper and my coworker and I started a funny names list. I have engaged others on the topic, and the best I’ve heard yet is a girl in small-town Missouri named Tyla Nall. Hope she marries well.
posted by beyondthejordan on 1-16-2008 at 8:39 am
I knew a kid in school named Fernando, and he happened to be gay. One of my friends was very close to him, and she told me his initials spelled F.A.G. Great guy, unfortunate initials.
I also went to school with an Arwen, and had another friend whose last name rhymed with her first.
posted by Kate on 1-16-2008 at 8:49 am
I was working at a graduation announcement company and came across many crazy names. My favorite terrible name was a surname – Kraphol. I think that’s reason enough to make a change.
posted by Phoebe Walker on 1-16-2008 at 8:55 am
I don’t get the Italian story… when I was in Italy, I met a man called Meno, which he said was short for Domenico (or Sunday).
So Sunday is okay, but Friday isn’t?
posted by Jenifer on 1-16-2008 at 10:24 am
My uncle is an OB-GYN and has spent a lot of time working with pregnant women. He would always ask what they were going to name the baby. One time a foreign woman came in (I dont remember where he said she was from) and told him she was going to name the baby “She Thayd” which unfortunately is spelled “Shithead”. My uncle pleaded with her to pick something else. not sure how that turned out.
posted by Sean on 1-16-2008 at 10:28 am
I think my sister-in-law is that child’s pediatrician. She has a patient named Shi’tead. (pronounced Shih tee ed)Poor kid!
posted by Sarah on 1-16-2008 at 11:33 am
Not really a name change story but, I went to high school with a kid named Algis Paulius. And, I remember his mom was named Violetta. I went to a small Catholic school for a short time so…everyone knew everyone else.
The whole topic though, made me think of McLovin from “Superbad.” *lol*
posted by Rosie on 1-16-2008 at 12:00 pm
In college there was a Vietnamese grad student who went by Charlie.
Also there was a TA that would go by a different name every year.
posted by Ryan on 1-16-2008 at 12:21 pm
I once worked at an inner city elementary school and saw some interesting names. One I remember in particular is Mr. Casino. His first name was actually Mr. not Mister. Like I said, interesting…
posted by Alicia on 1-16-2008 at 12:42 pm
I used to work for a large company that would display the names of people who had a birthday or service anniversary on that day. I used to see a lot of great names there, but the all time best was Dusty Fann.
posted by o-line on 1-16-2008 at 1:14 pm
Would you buy furniture from Unpainted Huffines?
I knew a couple who relocated from VietNam…they translated their names to “Glory” and “Joy” and I thought that was very sweet…how many men do you know named Glory?
Names are fascinating, I always hated mine because the letters are all so round (when writing in cursive)…I wanted a T to cross or an I to dot or a J or Y to do a big flourish…alas, not to be…
posted by donner on 1-16-2008 at 2:15 pm
I knew a guy named Loyal Sprague..he was a fun guy.
I also worked helpdesk at an ISP, we had a guy that would call and his name was Richard Steele. We were to call him Dick.
posted by Big D on 1-16-2008 at 3:55 pm
Years ago, I was watching the TV game show version of Scrabble. It was kid week (like college week or senior citizen week), and there was boy on there named Chucksteak. All one word. I thought “Why did your parents hate you? Could they not fit Beat-me-up-I’m-a-dork on your birth certificate?”
I also read a story about a kindergarten teacher in California. This was back when hippies were still common, so the teachers were used to seeing kids with odd, possibly drug inspired names, like Moon Child and Peace Flower. However, she wasn’t quite prepared for the little boy who showed up on day.
On the first day of school, all the kids wore tags on strings around their necks with their names on them. One little boy showed up with Fruit Stand printed in large block letters on his tag. Ooooookaaaaaayyyy. So all day long the teacher tried to act like it was nothing unusual. “Come here, little Fruit Stand.” “It’s your turn, Fruit Stand.” Fruit Stand did what he was told, and the day went just fine.
Until it was time for the kids to go home. When all the kids went out to get on their buses, the teachers turned the tags over to see where their bus stop was so they could be put on the correct bus. On the back of little Fruit Stand’s tag was the word “Anthony”.
No, it wasn’t me.
posted by Anthony on 1-16-2008 at 10:01 pm
Guy at college: Richard Craps (He legally changed his last name later.)
—> Dick Craps!
Someone told me she knew someone who’s first name is Pretty.
posted by Angeline on 1-17-2008 at 7:35 pm
I had a boyfriend whose mother changed his name when he was five. Apparently, she named him after his dad, but when they got divorced, hated the guy so much she changed their kid’s name. She let him pick his first and middle name, which turned out pretty normal for a five year old picking, but oddly enough kept the last name. Maybe it’s more expensive or difficult to change that… hmm.
posted by Sarah on 1-23-2008 at 1:21 pm
Come to think of it, after reading 8, a friend’s sister was a “seaman” in the navy. Unfortunately her last name was Geyser. Poor girl.
posted by Sarah on 1-23-2008 at 1:39 pm