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Some people think life at the floss is pretty glamorous, the journalistic equivalent of Indiana Jones’ sexed up archaeology. My roommate told me the other day he likes to imagine that my internship is a lot like Charlie’s Angels, which would make Jason the Bosley to my Sabrina Duncan (the smart, feisty one).
While I do occasionally wear a skimpy bikini and get in knife fights while writing my posts, my life has its boring, humdrum side, too. When I’m not bestowing the gift of trivia on you, dear reader, I work a day job assembling pre-packed meals at the local Whole Foods.
It’s here in the humble grocery store kitchen that our story begins. The other day, I was vacuum sealing packages of crab cakes with a co-worker when conversation turned to what we do in the “real world.” I told her about my budding writing career, and she informed me that she used to work in the White House as a policy writer for the Clinton administration. She left when Bush took office and decided to go to culinary school. Now she’s our caterer and spends her day making crudité platters and making sure no one steals my apron when I go on my break. (A clean apron is more valuable than gold in the kitchen.)
This got me thinking. I know a lot of people who live a Clark Kent/Superman dual life. So I pose two questions: What’s one fascinating thing about you that would shock your co-workers? OR Do you know anyone with an interesting alter ego?
Matt Soniak is our newest intern. (Well, he’s tied.) You can learn lots more about him here, or read his own blog here.
I am a normal undergraduate: attending classes, oversleeping, and procrastinating.
But about 6 times a week, I grab my pager and keys and rush from class, meals, parties, bed. At any given hour (usually the most inconvenient) I transform into a volunteer firefighter/EMT, providing medical and fire services to the college, town, and surrounding farmland.
posted by Katie on 1-21-2008 at 10:45 am
Going anon on this one (want to keep the mystery in the relationship).
I was a single Mom and putting myself through school - I lived over a funeral home and answered there phones for them at night.
posted by Anon on 1-21-2008 at 10:54 am
It’s not that “secret” — college professor by day who participates once a year in the student production of “The Vagina Monologues” in my campus town. I am the only prof currently on cast; in the inaugural performance (which I wasn’t in), I believe the assistant dean of students participated.
It’s an awesome experience, female-bonding with students half my age over women’s issues for a good cause.
posted by lleachie on 1-21-2008 at 11:11 am
By day I am a mild mannered finance manager at an auto dealership.
Nights and weekends I am a wild and crazy mobile DJ travelling our area creating parties for people.
posted by Mike on 1-21-2008 at 11:15 am
I am actually a sexy archaeologist, just like Indiana Jones!
Well, I am a professor of archaeology.
I manage to shock my rather conservative co-workers on a daily basis, but they would probably be really freaked to know about my tattoos and the fact that I have done some, um, “alternative” modeling. No more details. :)
posted by Pica on 1-21-2008 at 11:18 am
It’s not me. I’m a boring military type with no secret identity. My husband, however, is a student normally and a movie extra on the side. He’s currently in Spain filming a movie. I get to live vicariously through him and am quite jealous. :O)
posted by Tricia on 1-21-2008 at 11:22 am
I don’t really think of it as an alter ego so much as a more authentic me, but I’m a roller derby girl. My day job (for now) is a grad student/college instructor. My students have no idea that I put on fishnets and roller skates and smash into other girls on a regular basis. Some of my coworkers, who are old and crusty professor types, have come to my games, and it’s funny to see them there, sticking out like sore thumbs. The punk-rock aesthetic of derby is pretty much the polar opposite of the buttoned-up academic.
I’m about to finish my Ph.D. and have a new, non-academic job lined up, but I’m not sure I’ll drop the roller derby bomb on my coworkers for a while.
posted by Mandy on 1-21-2008 at 12:09 pm
I am a high school Spanish teacher. My students think I am the most boring, clean cut guy around. They have often said that they doubt I had any friends in high school. I laugh because: I was prom king; I have had 8 piercings total, and one of them was on my penis; I smoked pot everyday in college and still do occasionally. It brings a smile to my face everytime someone says something to insult my “coolness.” I think, “Shit kid, I smoked more pot in college than you will in your entire life.” (The comments usually come from the stoner kids.) I usually think the same thing when they say something about me not having many girlfriends in h.s. and college. ;-)
posted by Name Withheld on 1-21-2008 at 12:15 pm
I am a mild mannered medical coder by day - late 30’s, 2 kids, sensible car, church go-er, soccer mom.
In my free time I am a closet metal head. I totally rock out to old school metal bands.
Most coworkers would be shocked!
posted by qt314159265 on 1-21-2008 at 12:17 pm
qt! *lol* I am an opera-going, shoe shopping, mild mannered, church going closet metal head myself ;) \m/
But my past Alterego? In highschool I was the epitome of uncool. I was a manga-collecting, anime-sketching, Harry Potter-reading, piano-playing, Japanophile that aced the Trigonometry exam that the rest of my (advanced) junior class failed. But the minute I logged onto the internet I became the uber-cool, uber-nice, happy-to-be-your-friend Amateur Voice Actor, Celena ;) here to complete your every fandub, or audio-fiction with nary a charge for services.
We don’t talk about that part of my life now. ;)
posted by Ashley on 1-21-2008 at 12:30 pm
By day: a humble inventory control agent for a jewelry vendor.
By night: a graffitti writer and urban adventuring enthusiast.
If any of my co-workers glanced out the window during their long underground commutes, they would likely become acquainted with my alter ego. What’s strange is that the day job is high security with 24-hr surveillance feeds, and largely peopled with folk who are so straight-laced that they think my photo collection of deep-sea creatures is the kind of strange that’s bordering on crazy. If only they knew that the reason I’m so confused and worthless mornings before the third cup of coffee has nothing to do with a hangover as is widely suspected, but rather because I’m usually up late crawling around in the subway, climbing fire escapes, and painting murals in dark alleys all with my handy pack full of my favorite Krylons.
posted by Cassandra on 1-21-2008 at 12:30 pm
There’s more than a few things that my coworkers don’t know about me.
A guy wearing two rings (one on each hand) isn’t that unusual, but the fact that one’s for his wife and one’s for his girlfriend probably is.
posted by Jim on 1-21-2008 at 12:38 pm
During the day, my co-workers know me as the Compliance Officer.
They would be shocked to know that in real life, I sing in a barbershop quartet.
posted by Suzeo on 1-21-2008 at 12:47 pm
By day I’m an undergrad, somewhat hard working, a voracious reader, and all around Sci-Fi geek.
If only my fellow students knew that by night and weekends I am a top chef for a well known restaurant in the city 20 minutes away from my campus.
Occasionally I’ll hear a fellow student rave about something I made. It makes me happy to know that I secretly bring enjoyment to all these people : )
posted by G-Ring on 1-21-2008 at 1:00 pm
Jim, I’ve always said that I’d never come on and bash a fellow flosser, but really, get a life! That kind of filth is not meant for an upscale, smart place like this. This article’s about alter egos, not lying cheating scum.
posted by Tricia on 1-21-2008 at 1:46 pm
err, it’s a little tough to be “cheating” when you’re wearing a ring flaunting your second relationship. Cheating tends to imply secrecy, and everybody involved knows everything that’s going on.
I’m not cheating on anybody.
And please, with all the other people recounting their illicit and illegal activities, the guy with the nontraditional relationships gets jumped on? C’mon.
posted by Jim on 1-21-2008 at 1:58 pm
Jim,
You inferred that it was a secret and therefore a lie. I apologize for the harsh words. Clarify next time alright?
posted by Tricia on 1-21-2008 at 2:03 pm
By day i’m a high powered Sales Executive.
By night i’m a business owner. I run a internet based lead generation service for the same industry i work in. My employers and co-workers have no idea. I’m also a high school dropout… hey, they never asked.
My former college roomate (i dropped out of college too) dated this chick that was a driver for a senior citizen transport company by day and an amateur porn star by night.
posted by Jared P on 1-21-2008 at 2:39 pm
Civil servant by day. Minimum wage. Had a thought in college, about world peace. Had to forget it due to it’s extreme value and corruptability. World traveler lights on my town. Starts talking to me in my head. Wants my formula. Been buggin’ me ever since. No bull…
posted by God on 1-21-2008 at 3:01 pm
By day I am a government employee.
After hours and weekends I’m a proud Pagan and write erotic ficiton….really graphic erotic fiction.
posted by NonyaBidness on 1-21-2008 at 3:44 pm
By day, a sometimes disgruntled middle manager for an obscure printing concern in an obscure industry… By night (and weekends) a hero extraordinaire; able to fix anything that’s broken, answer any question, thwart any evil-doer’s plot, cure any ill, ward off monsters, and top it all off with the best bedtime story ever, every night.
Ok, so the alter ego really only applies only to my kids — and in ever-decreasing volumes as they grow older. But it’s a great gig when they think that Superman is second-rate next to you.
posted by Dave on 1-21-2008 at 4:22 pm
I wear a few hats.
30 hours a week I am “Miss Tiffany” a.k.a. super-nanny to three children 4 and under.
Other days I am a student working her way slowly but surely to a journalism degree.
Even more, I am a contributer to an indie rock website.
I am a swing dancing fiend as often as I can manage.
But what is most unusual about me, I suppose is that I am (as) active (as possible) in the Boy Scouts of America. I was a camper for a few years, then I worked at that same camp for a few years, I advise a Venture crew, and I am about to attend a seminar on Native American dancing.
Normal gal by day…Boy Scout by night?
posted by Tiffany Anne on 1-21-2008 at 6:33 pm
Tiffany, you’re a Boy Scout? So cool! My dad was, at one point, a registered Girl Scout, complete with t-shirt he wore proudly that said “I am a Girl Scout”. Now THAT’s a man secure in his masculinity!
posted by lleachie on 1-21-2008 at 6:46 pm
I the raddest alter ego, by day I am a Reservationist at a hotel and by night I am one third of the Myspace sensation the Dirty Skirts. My alter ego is Matilda, a brittish rapper.
posted by Kelly on 1-21-2008 at 7:36 pm
I am a clean cut and athletic country gentleman with a high level position in a Fortune 100 company. What people don’t know is that to pay way my through college I was a male dancer in a strip club and a body gaurd for a few rock grops that came through town and I also tutored a few members of a band in math.
posted by Ryan on 1-21-2008 at 8:04 pm
By day I am a girl scout, boy scout, tech support for DSL and a all around good small town girl.
But under my clothes are several pierceings, a tattoo, a pentangle and a collar. (just got my right nipple pierced). My boyfriend is 29 years older than me.
No one at work would ever suspect I’m a crazy kinky girl.
posted by Sambo on 1-22-2008 at 7:15 am
Matt,
South St. or Pennsylvania Ave.?
I very much miss Philly…:(
posted by Jessica on 1-22-2008 at 11:13 am
wow! i knew my life was boring…now it’s confirmed!
posted by septer on 1-22-2008 at 11:21 am
Mandy,
I’m guessing you’re a Philly girl??? Great article in the Inquirer regarding Roller Derby this Sunday. I used to watch it regularly - a heck of a lot better than pro-wrestling!
posted by Ted on 1-22-2008 at 11:39 am
Ted,
No, not Philly. Another WFTDA team nearby though…Looking forward to being in the area for the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in June!
posted by Mandy on 1-22-2008 at 11:58 am
Jessica,
I’m at the Pennsylvania Ave. store, which is supposedly moving to a bigger space on Vine in the near future.
posted by Matt on 1-22-2008 at 12:02 pm
By day I do marketing research for a law firm.
By night I write fanfiction with a dear friend of mine I’ve been working with off and on for the better part of a decade.
It’s good fanfiction… honest! :( I am only able to salve my secret humiliation at my own hobby by reassuring myself that as long as it’s only between my friend and me it can’t be that bad. (Right?)
posted by Rachael on 1-22-2008 at 12:30 pm
By day, I am a mild-mannered, five-foot-tall event planner who sometimes can be really girly. By night*, I am a sword-wielding samurai** with a ki-ai that has been known to startle men twice my size.
* - Actually, whenever I can actually find a space with high enough ceilings to swing a 39-inch sword over my head, and a partner to whack…
** - OK, a kendo player, really.
posted by Mel on 1-22-2008 at 2:24 pm
By day I am a smart 8th grader who can’t stop reading but after school I am Super-Nerd who is obsessed with video games and the internet. No one ever would suspect me.
posted by hc on 1-22-2008 at 3:47 pm
Tricia, open infidelity I can stomach, but your misuse of “inferred” in a setting that you describe as upscale and smart pains my eyes. You inferred, he implied.
I, by day, am a waiter; by birth, a grammar fascist.
posted by Seskel on 1-22-2008 at 10:43 pm