Ransom Riggs
Weird names, ironic and otherwise
by Ransom Riggs - January 23, 2008 - 7:14 AM

jacobtag.gifHaving grown up with a name like Ransom — people sometimes assume it’s a blog-world pseudonym; nope — I know all about the blessings and curses of having a weird name. When you’re young, they get you all the wrong kind of attention: teachers who can’t pronounce your name during roll call; uninspired, sing-songy mocking; wedgies. When you’re older, however, your name undergoes a mysterious transformation from just-plain-weird to unique, and suddenly you’re a standout in a world full of Jims and Janes. There’s another, entirely unwelcome transition your name can undergo, however, though so far I’ve been lucky enough to avoid it: weird or not, circumstance can make your name ironic. That’s right: I’m just one kidnapping away from having a ridiculous name. Here are a few people (and places) that haven’t been so lucky.

Oh, the irony
• After a recent near-accident on a British Airways flight — the plane lost power as it approached the runway from the air — the pilot singled out the co-pilot for his heroism in averting disaster: “Mr Coward did a most remarkable job in landing the aircraft.” Link

• This was a particularly hilarious (and anonymous) comment on Tribe.net:

A friend of ours works in the local gardening store with a guy named “Bat Dung.” He asked him what his name meant in Vietnamese one day and got this story. In Vietnam, “Bat” means “8.” He was the 8th child in the Dung family and his parents apparently ran out of names (or were just tired of having kids?) so they just named him “8.” When he immigrated to the U.S. he hoped people wouldn’t laugh at his name anymore. Sadly, that’s not the way it turned out …

• A hospital that’s DOA: after enduring years of jokes, R.H. Dedman Medical Center in Dallas finally changed its name to R.H.D. Medical Center a few years ago. Apparently, the name change has had no effect on the hospital’s mortality rate.

Ridiculous Names from British History
Back in 2005, census-takers in Cornwall, England decided to compile a list of the weirdest names their town had ever registered. They surfaced with an impressive haul of oddities:

“My all-time favorites are Abraham Thunderwolff and Freke Dorothy Fluck Lane,” archivist Rene Jackaman said. Other discoveries included Boadicea Basher, Philadelphia Bunnyface, Faithful ######, Susan Booze, Elizabeth Disco, Edward Evil, Fozzitt Bonds, Truth Bullock, Charity Chilly, Gentle Fudge, Obedience Ginger and Offspring Gurney. Levi Jeans was married in Padstow, Cornwall, in 1797.

Other remarkable duos in the marriage records included Nicholas Bone and Priscilla Skin, joined in wedlock in 1636; Charles Swine and Jane Ham in 1711; John Mutton and Ann Veale in 1791, and Richard Dinner and Mary Cook in 1802.

Who’s the weirdest-named person you know (besides me)?

Thanks to Ironic Sans for the graphic.

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Comments (160)

  1. My name is kind of Ironic.
    Coyne (coin) Flatt I work at a bank and the combination of names is going ot forever keep me from listing a phone number. Just think of all the people calling to look for flatt coins.

    posted by coyne on 1-23-2008 at 7:50 am

  2. My husband is from eastern Kentucky and went to school with a girl named Alky Setzer who married and became Alky Hall.

    posted by Melissa on 1-23-2008 at 8:14 am

  3. I wanted to name my son “Luke Danger”. That way I could say ‘Luke, I am your father!’, and then later in life he could say, ‘Danger is my middle name.’ Sadly, in Texas, the mother fills out the birth certificate.

    posted by Witty Nickname on 1-23-2008 at 8:16 am

  4. I was a bridesmaid in the King-Leary wedding. Sadly, I couldn’t talk them into naming their daughters Goneril and Regan.

    posted by Meg on 1-23-2008 at 8:27 am

  5. A friend of mine in Columbus, OH (home of The Ohio State University) knew someone there named Scarlett N. Gray.

    Same friend’s cousin had two ex-neighbors in Kentucky (home of some fairly hilarious names) named Oval Probis and Doobie Odle. Doobie apparently had ten kids, naming the youngest two Niner and Tenner.

    posted by Chris M. on 1-23-2008 at 8:28 am

  6. I go to church with a very nice elderly lady named Rose Bush. But I’ve never heard a single kid make a joke out of it … not even when I was a kid. (What are they teaching in school these days?)

    posted by Liz on 1-23-2008 at 8:28 am

  7. in college I worked at the student union rec. center and we’d take students ID’s and in exchange they can use our equipment. I took an ID from a kid named Marty McNutt and couldn’t stop laughing. I ended up taking a picture of his ID and showing it to everyone. To this day, it still is halarious.

    posted by susan on 1-23-2008 at 8:31 am

  8. I forgot about this hilarious story. I had a friend in college whose mom was a nurse. She worked in pediatrics and witnessed a lot of strange names.

    Her best story was about a lady that had already had several children and swore that this child would be THE LAST ONE. So that’s what she named her: Thelastone (pronounced thu-LAST-o-nee).

    Unfortunately, she had another child less than two years later. Oh, the irony!

    posted by Liz on 1-23-2008 at 8:33 am

  9. One of my best friends graduated high school with a man named Salvador Manela…Unfortunately for him, everyone called him by his full name and shortened his first name to Sal.

    posted by MikeD on 1-23-2008 at 8:36 am

  10. My wife used to work as a hotel clerk and in a hospital. She began (and still keeps) a list of the stranger names she came across. From her list,I can only recall Quo Vadis Fettshouse.

    I met a person who was born as the mother entered the hospital- Justin Thyme Smith.

    There’s something about twins. I met a set a few years ago, I don’t recall their last name, but the first names were El Paso and El Toro. I’ve also come across the Smith boys: Desi Arnaz and Ricky Ricardo.

    posted by harold on 1-23-2008 at 8:48 am

  11. Although I have an unusual first name that caused me much grief in grade school and is now a great ice breaker when meeting someone, that is not the ironic part of my name. I happen to be dating a fairly serious poker player and my last name is Ace… when he introduces me to his friends they think it is pretty hilarious!

    posted by Zanna on 1-23-2008 at 8:53 am

  12. I used to work in personnel and I’d come across some really strange names, but my favorites were Robin Banks and Mike Rotch (I actually have a picture of Mike Rotch… not that one, you perv!)

    My dad used to be friends with a guy named Earl Green. His wife was named Olive Green. Heh.

    posted by Melissa on 1-23-2008 at 8:57 am

  13. My family is full of them, Eastern Kentucky being what it is. But to protect my own anonymity, I won’t divulge. However, I saw a story recently at Fark involving a RCMP officer named Law Power.

    posted by Miss Cellania on 1-23-2008 at 9:01 am

  14. Went to high school with a kid named (spelling??) Alouicious Pye.

    posted by Sarah on 1-23-2008 at 9:04 am

  15. I lived in Venezuela for most of my life and they are the absolute KINGS of the strange names. Apart from the “obvious” celebrity names (as in David Beckham Perez, with Beckham being the second name), I´ve seen:
    - Usnavy
    - Usmail

    And my personal favorite: Hello Kitty (no joke)

    posted by GTT on 1-23-2008 at 9:05 am

  16. OH – and how could I forget Russell Zwiener? And Christy Knipple.

    Also- on the subject of twins, the registrar I used to work with once told me she signed up for school twins named One and Two – pronounced oh-NAY and TWOH. Oh, the cruelty.

    And, to finish, I was entering in registering papers one time and saw that the mother’s name was “Lasagna.” Oh, how I wish I was kidding.

    posted by Sarah on 1-23-2008 at 9:11 am

  17. Oh, I know several.

    At a prior job, we had a student named “Brandon Null”. Seems innocuous enough, and it was, until we tried to insert it into the database and realized that our import program wasn’t properly quoting. It assumed “Null” was NULL – computer terminology for “no input” and refused to insert him. I ended up needing to change his name to Nulll and then change it back after it went in. Kid’s gonna have all sorts of problems in life, I’m sure.

    I went to high school with a girl named Nikki Knack. Wait, wait, it gets better – her mother was Patty Knack.

    My wife went to college with a girl named Anna Rexic. Apparently, on one of the first days when all the freshmen were supposed to stand up and introduce themselves and say something interesting about them, she said, “Hi, I’m Anna Rexic” to huge gasps from the rest of the crowd.

    posted by Jim T on 1-23-2008 at 9:19 am

  18. My brother-in-law used to teach second grade. His favorite students were twins: Lemonjello and Oranjello. He also claims there was a girl whose mother named her by opening the newspaper and checking out the ad from the local department store, which had just announced a big sale on pajamas. In name form it’s pronounced PADGE-ama.

    posted by Mary on 1-23-2008 at 9:22 am

  19. I used to work with a girl who’s last name was Coward. Her father was a vietnam veteran who, courtesy of the uniforms the United States marine corp. required him to wear wandered the jungle blatantly labeled a “Coward”

    posted by Greg on 1-23-2008 at 9:45 am

  20. i went to school with a guy named forrest meadows…

    posted by casual_observer on 1-23-2008 at 9:48 am

  21. I once had a class with Russell Sink… he went by “Rusty”. My cousin’s sister-in-law named her daughter “Tiger Lily”

    posted by Ashley on 1-23-2008 at 9:56 am

  22. In Memphis, TN the story goes that a street named to honor a local family was renamed during World War II after they built an army hospital on it, and so Shotwell Street became Getwell Street.

    posted by Doug on 1-23-2008 at 10:01 am

  23. Oh, man. There are so many. I collected quite a few in my years in customer service:

    Luke Skywalker (in Detroit)
    James T Kirk (in Chicago)
    Rockets Redglare
    Velvet Ribbon
    Scab Dover
    Stu Pid (all in Minneapolis)
    Bobby Badboy
    Andrew Bigmeat (in the Fargo area)

    I went to college with the last name Bad Heart Bull.

    My wife is pregnant and we have a very short last name (Roe), so we try to come up with longer first names to compensate. Since Heath Ledger died yesterday she said, ‘maybe we should name it Heath.’ I looked at her and said ‘I am not naming my child after an airport. Unless we can use Gatwick as his middle name.’

    I used to work in a hospital and a couple of months ago Bram Stoker was born there. It’s a cool name but why on earth would you saddle your child with it these days?

    What I’ve never understood is the current fascination with naming children after obsolete proletarian occupations- Taylor, Cooper, Spencer, Fletcher. Kinda makes me want to go out and name my next one Shipwright.

    posted by eroe777 on 1-23-2008 at 10:06 am

  24. I went to high school with a lot of alcohol names. There was Brandy, Chardonna, Hennessey, and my favorite was Tequila (Pronounced Tuh-quill-a, the drink she was supposedly conceived with). Ah, Georgia…

    posted by Cliff on 1-23-2008 at 10:13 am

  25. Just yesterday, in fact, I came across a great name. And it’s legit–I saw it on some legal documents. It seems that Jean and James James live on James Place. Seriously. First of all, who on earth would name their child James James??? And then the likelihood that they’d live on James Place??? crazyness.

    posted by Jenny on 1-23-2008 at 10:15 am

  26. I know of a local woman named Sharon Bottoms. Also, a friend of mine working for a regional bank has a regular customer by the name of Harry Hand.

    What are parents thinking???

    posted by Southpaw on 1-23-2008 at 10:16 am

  27. Nobody has believed me yet today, but yesterday afternoon on NPR there was a report on the downturn on the market, and they, I SWEAR, interviewed a man, Hugh Johnson from Johnson and somebody investments. I did a total double take then cracked up. Did anyone else hear that? I swear I’m not making it up.

    posted by jb on 1-23-2008 at 10:22 am

  28. james james on james place reminded me of my high school boyfriend: william williamson.

    posted by casual_observer on 1-23-2008 at 10:37 am

  29. there used to be a photographer for the Denver Broncos named Rusty Nail.

    posted by bet on 1-23-2008 at 10:43 am

  30. There’s a veterinarian in South Jersey named “Dr. Sleeper.” Kinda ironic.

    posted by burgeon on 1-23-2008 at 10:45 am

  31. Hmmm… Guy I knew in high school was named Loong Kwok (pronounced long kwAHk).

    Besides that, every name is funny in Navy boot camp because everyone is called “Seaman.” Seaman Dong was a fave of mine.

    My wife, a social worker, has a child on her case roll with the name “Cash Money *blank*” (last name withheld for privacy, and because I don’t know it).

    This could go on for days.

    posted by Jeremy on 1-23-2008 at 10:48 am

  32. Oh, I forgot a good one. My law school has a professor whose first name is Dean. He’s not a dean of the school, so if you’re going to refer to him by his full name and title, you have to say, “Professor Dean ____.”

    posted by Jeremy on 1-23-2008 at 10:50 am

  33. In high school I worked at a restaurant (remember Sambos?) with a guy named Norbert Schwenkendorf. I’ll never forget Norbie.

    When I was in the military there was an officer with the last name of Majores. His rank, of course, was Major.

    Then there was the lady I once knew who was named Birdie Nestor.

    Anybody remember the guy from the Mary Tyler Moore Show back in the ’60′s? Seymour S. Seymour.
    “What’s the ‘S’ stand for?”
    “Seymour, of course.”

    posted by Dave on 1-23-2008 at 10:58 am

  34. My girlfriend is an OB/GYN. Over the years, she’s seen a number of crazy names.

    Here’s a sampling:

    First name: Miss
    Middle name: Tina
    Last Name: Turner
    “Miss Tina Turner”

    Another:
    Diamond Posession

    My girlfriend also interviewed for residency with a OB/GYN named: Dr. Cootchie

    posted by Johnie on 1-23-2008 at 10:59 am

  35. An ironic name I heard mentioned on NPR…

    Bryan Scott Moron was arrested for DUI in Arizona after driving his truck into a house. Most headlines read like this:

    “Moron Arrested for DUI”

    Google for Moron+Arrested+Truck+House. You’ll find it.

    posted by Jason! on 1-23-2008 at 11:01 am

  36. At the University of Alabama there is a gentleman on staff who on his card has his name as “Dicky Cox”. No one ever forgets his name!

    posted by Barry on 1-23-2008 at 11:09 am

  37. I was going to mention that Moron, but I’ve got a backup. Hockey has often been a good source for interesting names and nicknames, but one of my favorites is a player for College of The Sacred Heart…Bear Trapp.

    posted by Jack on 1-23-2008 at 11:10 am

  38. I went to school with a Mike Rapp. Yes, he did take it out on his parents by becoming a delinquent loser–hey, it was his parents’ fault.

    My sister went to school with twins Rocky and Dan Roads. Dan’s middle name was Gerous. Fo’ reals.

    posted by Andrew on 1-23-2008 at 11:20 am

  39. I was once a student teacher to twins named Prince and Princess. Those were their actual, God given names.

    I also met a girl named Success, but it was spelled Succexx. Kid you not.

    posted by Rachel on 1-23-2008 at 11:28 am

  40. a friend of mine went to (private, Christian) high school with a boy whose first name was Jeremiah and whose middle name was, spelled out and hyphenated, Twenty-Nine Eleven. Jeremiah Twenty-Nine Eleven.

    “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11

    posted by katiedert on 1-23-2008 at 11:31 am

  41. A friend of mine worked as a counselor for the Technical High School in a small town. One of the students on her roster was Pepsicola (pronounced pep-SI-cuhlah). Gotta love it…

    posted by Aimee on 1-23-2008 at 11:32 am

  42. I know a guy and his wife whose last name is West. He wants to name his son Joaquin. His wife won’t let him. Then he suggested Optimus Prime, but his wife doesn’t like that either. Last I heard, the name was going to be North, but I’m pretty sure (and hoping!) that it’s a joke.

    posted by Melodye on 1-23-2008 at 11:42 am

  43. Best ever: There’s a urologist in Austin, Texas who specializes in vasectomies. His name is Dr. Dick Chopp.

    If I were him, I’d give out t-shirts to all my patients that read “I got my nuts cut by Dr. Dick Chopp.”

    posted by Anthony on 1-23-2008 at 11:49 am

  44. In my old neighborhood, the Cherry family lived next door to the Cola family. If only their kids got married and hyphenated their names …

    posted by John C on 1-23-2008 at 11:57 am

  45. To Mary who mentioned the twins: Lemonjello and Oranjello.. were they in Louisiana? Because I knew of twins in Northwestern Louisiana with those names.
    Also fairly common…girls named “Placenta” because it sounds pretty…
    I went to college with a girl named LaTrina..which always prompted me to think of the movie Robin Hood: Men In Tights.
    One of our college’s cafeteria worker’s name was Aqua Nette. She was a nice lady.

    In Missouri I grew up with two boys named Rocky and Dusty Lane.

    posted by Emily on 1-23-2008 at 11:57 am

  46. One of my great ancestors were, cousins I believe, were married. Their names…George Alcock and Susan Hooker. They must have taken a ribbing over that.

    posted by Owen on 1-23-2008 at 11:59 am

  47. My boss told me a good one – his mother was a social worker.

    She met a woman who named her child Nosmo King after seeing a sign in the hospital room that read No Smoking.

    posted by Karen on 1-23-2008 at 12:00 pm

  48. I used to work temp, and a lot of the things I did were filing jobs. Names that came up included April May June Farfield and Shad Shadow-Rider Shaden.

    posted by Eliza on 1-23-2008 at 12:05 pm

  49. I have a few, all of them absolutely true –

    1) My last name is L-O-S-E-R, pronounced like low-sir, but obviously it gets mispronounced to “loozer” all the time.

    2) I know a girl named Chanda Lier… her parents admit to doing it on purpose.

    3) My college psych prof was Thai. Her last name was Pan. She had a brother. When they came to the US her parents chose “american” names for her and her brother. She was Helen, and yes you guessed it, his was Peter (Pan)

    4) I used to work for McDonalds and had a co-worker with the last name of Frey, pronounced FRY :) No kidding.

    posted by Justin L on 1-23-2008 at 12:11 pm

  50. I’ve got to admit, I wonder how many of these names are urban legends? Lemonjello/Orangello are nortorious, everyone supposedly knows someone who knows someone who knows them. Weren’t those names even discussed in Freakanomics?

    Nosmo King has been around since the 1910′s, according to snopes.com.

    Don’t get me wrong, these are hilarious, but it’s interesting the names that go around every time a discussion of strange names starts up. How many of these are actual true names, how many are just funny names that have been repeated so often they’ve taken on a life of their own?

    posted by jenny on 1-23-2008 at 12:16 pm

  51. In my geneology research I came across a couple of odd names… Green Berry and Olean Afire Walker. BTW, Green married a lady named Dorcus.

    posted by Michelle on 1-23-2008 at 12:27 pm

  52. I was in a convenience store once and heard a mom call her daughter Ampersand. I asked the mom about the “name”. She said she’d heard it somewhere and thought it sounded pretty.

    posted by Mary on 1-23-2008 at 12:31 pm

  53. Jenny, I was thinking the same thing – I think a large number of these are apocryphal.

    Also, most of these aren’t particularly ironic. Unlike my father’s friend, the urologist – Dr. Dick.

    posted by Anonymoose on 1-23-2008 at 12:42 pm

  54. Last year, I was taking a break and started roaming the halls at my office. I came across a nameplate that said Beninjerry Johnmary. I thought it was a joke, but then I went into our e-mail system, and sure enough, there it was. I busted out laughing hysterically.

    posted by It's good to be the King on 1-23-2008 at 12:43 pm

  55. I worked with a guy named Hung Luong (hung long). He decided to go by “Chris”. And another named Jimmy James (Jimmy being alternative to James).

    My high school english teacher claimed that she knew twins named Ima and Ura Pigg.

    posted by juice on 1-23-2008 at 12:47 pm

  56. As a substitute teacher, I see a lot of strange names. Some favorites…

    James Bond
    Lia Liaina
    Harley Davidson

    posted by Cooper on 1-23-2008 at 1:19 pm

  57. I used to go to a gynecologist named Dr. Beavers.

    I also knew a woman named Allison Allison (her married name). I’m not sure why she didn’t keep her maiden name – or at least hyphenate.

    posted by Molly on 1-23-2008 at 1:21 pm

  58. I knew a guy named Christopher Patrick Fried. He was in college when he realized that his parents had named him Chris P. Fried

    posted by bored guy on 1-23-2008 at 1:25 pm

  59. I have a few,
    Candy Cane (she married into that one)
    Birtha Day
    Jon Athon (like Jonathan but with a pause)

    Very Sad

    posted by Lindsey U on 1-23-2008 at 1:27 pm

  60. I had a Dr. Harry Sax his receptionist ALWAYS called him Harold

    Also recently had business with a lady named Chris Cross

    posted by Jude on 1-23-2008 at 1:38 pm

  61. I am a high school teacher and a few years ago there was a young lady attending whose name was “Happy Dong”. I kid you not.

    posted by akkris on 1-23-2008 at 1:38 pm

  62. My mother-in-law is an elementary school teacher, and a few years ago she had a student named Shithead. It’s pronounced, sha-THEE-add.

    posted by Sara on 1-23-2008 at 1:40 pm

  63. I forgot that there is a man in my town, whom I’ve never met but called, whose name USED TO be in the phone book (guess he wised up)– Long Wang. I’ve spoken with him. He is Asian. That is his name.

    posted by katiedert on 1-23-2008 at 1:43 pm

  64. i went to elementary school with a kid named Bufus Outlaw

    I wonder what he’s doing now…

    posted by Lana on 1-23-2008 at 1:53 pm

  65. Mary & Emily: Lemonjello & Oranjello apparently moved to Ohio, because my fifth-grade-teacher friend has told me about some kids with the same names at his elementary school in the Cincinnati area. Maybe it’s an urban legend? Maybe I’m underestimating the human capacity for the ridiculous?

    The same teacher friend has taught students named “Yo Highness Da Finest” and “Master Prince” (these are both first names). WTF??

    Also: I went to school in the same district as Justin Case & Mike Hunt.

    posted by Amy on 1-23-2008 at 1:59 pm

  66. @#50: I also think a few of these are either made-up or urban legends. Although I’m sure many are real, as I’ve met a few strangely-named people in my life:

    - I went to high school with two sisters named Margarita and Tequila [pronounced Tah-kill-ya, though]
    - My first boss’s name was Chow Dung.
    - My husband has a deceased relative who was named Lily Lilly (married named), which is family always gets a kick out of. Their family last name is Powers; I can’t believe they haven’t had more insanity develop with a last name THAT easy.

    posted by Betty on 1-23-2008 at 2:13 pm

  67. My favorite name is when Homer Simpson changed his name to the only name he spelled right on his list: Max Power. (He got it off a hairdryer.)

    posted by Melodye on 1-23-2008 at 2:32 pm

  68. I went to school with a Lacey Butts.

    And my family was once invited to the (I swear this is true) Mawhinney (pronounced Ma-hiney)-Wilfahrt wedding.

    Then again, any name is funny with Wilfahrt as a surname.

    posted by frumpiefox on 1-23-2008 at 2:40 pm

  69. I went to college with a kid named Dat Ho. Poor guy.

    posted by Lynsey on 1-23-2008 at 2:46 pm

  70. There is a Harry Kuntz in my company.

    posted by Alicia on 1-23-2008 at 2:49 pm

  71. I was mentioning this post to someone at work… he told me he once worked with a person named Evel Bosse. He went by his middle name, Leonard. And no, he wasn’t in management… he was a rank n’ file worker.

    posted by Jason! on 1-23-2008 at 2:51 pm

  72. I understand when people don’t believe about Lemonjello and Oranjello but, as one of the people “who knows somebody who knows them” and having a boss who ALSO knows somebody who knows them, I have to say that some urban legends must be based on fact!

    My other favorites:
    1. “Vaccination” – they overheard it in the hospital and thought it was nice
    2. The woman who thought the hospital had done her a favor by naming her daughter for her when she couldn’t choose a name – “Female” pronounced Feh-MAH-leh
    3. The crazy lady on a quest to have 24 children named:
    January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, Ephiphany, Valentine, Patrick, Easter, Memorial, Flag (I think this is right), Independence, Labor, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Last I heard she was pregnant with Patrick but that was a few years ago. And, no, it didn’t matter to her what gender the baby came out; it got the next name in line. Yikes, huh?

    On that scary thought, back to work for me!

    posted by frodopal on 1-23-2008 at 2:53 pm

  73. Here are some name encounters I have always found to be ironic–

    I went to High School with a girl named Misty Bras… she is now a stripper.

    I went to an OB/GYN whose name was Dr. Poosay

    In sixth grade there was a boy named Eluvv Dick…I ran into him a couple years back while I was living in San Francisco as he and his life partner were waiting at city hall to get married… I guess he does love dick…

    posted by Kimberly on 1-23-2008 at 2:54 pm

  74. My wife once had a job interviewed with a woman who took her husband’s last name when they wed. What was the result? Anita Dick. True story.

    posted by Nemo on 1-23-2008 at 2:56 pm

  75. I went to high school with Keegan Maguigan.

    (the last name is pronounced to rhyme with the first)

    I actually love it. It suits his personality so well, haha.

    posted by Laura on 1-23-2008 at 2:56 pm

  76. Also, as a receptionist I met Theodosius Vlahopolous. Say that three times fast.

    As a customer service rep I called Michael Jackson (not the same one) several times, once had to call Princess Prince, and once also got Peter Peterson.

    I went to elementary school with Christina Nipple, whose family owned a nursing home. Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough to get the Nipple Nursing Home joke, so did they, and they changed it to The Nipple Convalescent Home. Still not a great name, but they’re getting there.

    posted by Lynsey on 1-23-2008 at 3:02 pm

  77. I went to school with a Richard Tease. I don’t think he ever went by Dick. His sister was Susie May Tease though.

    It is a big joke in our small town.

    posted by Stuffanie on 1-23-2008 at 3:26 pm

  78. I currently work in HR / Personnel at a meat packing plant, and I’ve come across some terrible names!! A couple good ones are Long Dang, Wagiyah Abdelmassih, Esmely Lajara, Sombath Tha, Manimekalai Palanisamy… Not exactly ironic or hysterical, but just.. weird.

    posted by Mary on 1-23-2008 at 3:27 pm

  79. Two funny ones and and two ironic ones. These are real as I came across them in financial or medical documents from various jobs:
    Skye Bushyhead & Princess Terryberry

    Dr. Bonebreak: an orthopedic doctor in Springield Mo.

    Dr. Yeast: an OB/GYN in Kansas City

    I also knew a Taiwanese guy whose American name was Peter Pan for awhile. When he found out why people laughed at it he changed it to Bobby

    posted by Ralph on 1-23-2008 at 3:34 pm

  80. Sara, is your mother-in-law a teacher in Baltimore? I heard the same name form a friend of mine who’s a doctor there. My friend told me that the kid’s mother was illiterate and didn’t realize what the spelling of the name would turn out to be.

    posted by jdp on 1-23-2008 at 3:35 pm

  81. As a graduate student, I would sometimes do work at the newborn nursery in a large hospital. One of my supervisors told us of a baby she saw who was named “Princess Sarah Ferguson of the United States of America.” She said the baby was given up for adoption, and the adoptive parents shortened her name to “Sarah” (gee, I wonder why!).

    In a physician’s office, I was told there was a patient named “Gonorrhea” (pronounced guh-NOR-eeyuh). Lord, I hope that was just an urban legend!

    posted by Melissa on 1-23-2008 at 3:36 pm

  82. I forgot about my old boss! He is from Afghanistan. When he moved to the US, when he was 17 [he is now in his late 30's], he changed his name to Dan Dannish. He’s a hairdresser, and just a little crazy.

    posted by Mary [again] on 1-23-2008 at 3:36 pm

  83. I swear that there is a guy who frequents the library where I work that goes by the name of Dick Payne. He wears a name tag and everything. We just call him Richard.

    posted by n/a on 1-23-2008 at 3:41 pm

  84. I had a taxi driver named “Fock Yew Weng” in Singapore… I took a picture of his taxi license so that people would believe me.

    posted by Kacie on 1-23-2008 at 4:03 pm

  85. Ok, how about…

    Unique Hunt
    Holly Wood
    Indy Anna (forgot last name)
    Lance Lance

    posted by Lynn on 1-23-2008 at 4:24 pm

  86. My high school English teacher was Mr. Dyke. He was homosexual. Poor guy. Best English teacher I ever had, though!

    posted by Leah on 1-23-2008 at 4:29 pm

  87. I knew a guy named Jay Walker. He actually named his son Luke Skye.
    My sister went to school with an Amanda Lin (mandolin)

    posted by Tim on 1-23-2008 at 4:38 pm

  88. I once met a woman named Tequila Love…named after a night of fun that resulted in her conception….

    posted by Telulablue on 1-23-2008 at 4:47 pm

  89. True Facts!

    1. In Hagerstown, Md., there is an orthodontist named Dr. Toothman.

    2. In Fairfax, Va., there was an OB/GYN named Dr. Harry Beaver (he has retired).

    posted by Ken on 1-23-2008 at 4:48 pm

  90. I once met a woman named Tequila Love…named after a night of fun that resulted in her conception….And then the most ironic name I’ve ever come across is a dentist in Texas named Dr. Steven Titensor (pronounced Tight and Sore)

    posted by Telulablue on 1-23-2008 at 4:55 pm

  91. I’m surprised nobody has mentioned Harry Guy. I went to college with one and then later worked with another. And i keep a running list of names like this. I’m up to 374. Then there is all of Vincent van Gogh’s relatives like Tan Gogh and Amy Gogh.

    posted by Big Al on 1-23-2008 at 5:13 pm

  92. I worked in a medical office and there was a family of three children who’s names always made me think of hocky teams. They were Austin Ice, Sydney Ice…and I forget the last one!

    posted by Planet on 1-23-2008 at 6:03 pm

  93. A girl back way back in elementary school: Porsche Porsche

    A set of siblings – King, Queen Jack, and Ace

    Social workers like me see some weird names: a woman who had several children named her last child Forreal – As in For Real … Seriously?

    posted by Leila on 1-23-2008 at 6:39 pm

  94. I used to work at a call centre and as part of our training we would enter in “dummy accounts” with zip codes like 90210, and names like Larry Loser. Well, apparently one day, the real Larry Loser called in to make a change to his account. Awkward!

    posted by Angeline on 1-23-2008 at 7:09 pm

  95. I live in Houston, and I know that this story is not apocryphal. The spinster daughter of a governor of Texas whose last name was Hogg really was named “Ima”. Miss Ima, as she was known, was quite the philanthropist. Among other things, she donated the land for our largest city park as well as numerous antiques and a mansion to the Houston Museum of Fine Arts.

    posted by felis catus on 1-23-2008 at 7:49 pm

  96. My aunt knew a person she worked with who named her kids Orangello (Orange Jello) and Lemongello (Lemon Jello).

    posted by Tanner on 1-23-2008 at 7:50 pm

  97. I know a family by the last name of Bugg. They named their eldest daughter Ima June.

    posted by Grace on 1-23-2008 at 8:33 pm

  98. I work for a school photography company, so I see a lot of funny names… The funniest one I came across this year was a little girl named: Charlie-Angel Berry.
    This was verified by my Uncle, who happens to know her parents. I still laugh every time I hear it.

    posted by Eliza on 1-23-2008 at 8:35 pm

  99. I went to high school with a kid named Michael Hunt, but everyone called him Mike.

    I also have a friend who’s gynecologist’s name was Dr. Beaver.

    posted by Bridget on 1-23-2008 at 9:13 pm

  100. I went school with a Mont Tanner, one of 13 kids whose names all started with M.
    Myron melvin minta…

    posted by skook on 1-23-2008 at 9:40 pm

  101. Well, my mom worked with a guy who changed his name to dandelion in the ’70s and never bothered to change it back.

    my cousin’s last boyfriend went by Toaster

    Someone who went to college with my dad went by Tuna

    and my mom’s aunt had a friend named Olive.

    posted by Rachel on 1-23-2008 at 9:41 pm

  102. The pronunciation I heard was sh-TEED, for the name Sh*thead. Also heard about Nosmo King, and Gonnorhea, rhyming with Longoria (like the actress Eva Longoria). The version I heard was from teachers in inner city schools where the parents were crack addicts and thought these names were funny.

    posted by Stew on 1-23-2008 at 10:26 pm

  103. my dad’s a doctor and he had a patient named Void Nix who had a son named Void Nix Jr. My dad didn’t even realize the awesomeness of the name until I pointed it out (I was helping him clean up his files).

    posted by Sarah on 1-23-2008 at 10:47 pm

  104. when i was growing up, my mom worked in the payroll office for a nationwide company and saw many a strange name, which she always told me all about. a couple that stick out in my mind was a man named Emanon (read it backwards), and a native american man named John whose last name was Great Bear Paw of the East.

    posted by steve on 1-23-2008 at 10:47 pm

  105. One of my clients was named Constance Langois but unfortunately she went by Connie.

    posted by Johanna on 1-23-2008 at 11:13 pm

  106. Start with a couple of guys I’ve worked with:
    Dick Bang & Leroy Leaks

    I worked with a LaToya Jackson once.

    Now for the best. One of my cousin’s friends:
    Louden Kleer

    posted by Lynn on 1-24-2008 at 12:06 am

  107. I went to high school with a girl named Robin F. Southward. Innocuous enough, until we learned that her middle name was Flew.

    Then in college, I met the Reeth sisters. The older girl was Holly, and I always thought that was a cruel joke. But her sister Chris and I hung out for two years before she finally admitted that her full first name was Christmas.

    And one of my roommates dated a guy named Buford Crites. They had been talking marriage when he told her, quite seriously, that he intended to name his first son Jesus. It was more than she could take–they broke up soon after.

    posted by MJ on 1-24-2008 at 2:12 am

  108. These are completely true! I went to high school with a girl named “Snow White.” (First name only) AND…
    K-12 with a guy named Peter Wood!

    posted by Holly on 1-24-2008 at 2:33 am

  109. I am surprised no one has mentioned “Male” (pronounced Ma-lee) and “Female” (pronounced Fee-ma-lee). These are actual names of people in Wash. DC. I am sure this must happen other places too. I have seen them on court records so I know they’re not fake.

    I doubt the Jellos, citation needed there.

    posted by Nym on 1-24-2008 at 2:49 am

  110. My friend’s orthodontist was Dr. Payne. I was delivered by Dr. Pepper. Those count as ironic, no?

    posted by Yonit on 1-24-2008 at 4:25 am

  111. A character in “The Dirty Girls Social Club” is called Usnavys.

    At work I dealt with a lawyer called Poopie on a very messy case. My boss thought I was losing it when she found me at my desk giggling madly and filling out a fax cover sheet after my first conversation with Attorney Poopie.

    posted by gwendy on 1-24-2008 at 7:34 am

  112. A co-worker of my sister named her daughter Abcde (pronounced Ab-sidey).

    I went to school with a girl whose younger sister was name Ruby Tuesday Rock and Roll. They were the “strange” family in the neighborhood.

    posted by HeyThere! on 1-24-2008 at 8:37 am

  113. While my name is on the unique side, by far the most bizarre name I’ve come across was that of a friend’s wife who was introduced to me as “K-star.” Even weirder was the spelling: if you read K* on a restaurant roster, how would you pronounce it?

    posted by joman on 1-24-2008 at 10:01 am

  114. A former head of the FTC had the last name of Swindle!

    posted by Carolyn Saffoe on 1-24-2008 at 10:22 am

  115. #85 – Lynn

    I know Lance Lance. He went to my high school!

    posted by Jeremy on 1-24-2008 at 11:00 am

  116. The Lemonjello and Oranjello story has to be an urban legend: everyone’s brother’s friend, or 5th grade teacher, or best friend’s mom claims to have had an uncle who knew them. In the story I heard, if was a black family. That seems vaguely racist, doesn’t it? At least, slightly uncomfortable.

    posted by JL on 1-24-2008 at 11:12 am

  117. i was getting my physical at the army center in Brooklyn, NY and one of the officer’s name was Major Boozer

    posted by Amanda on 1-24-2008 at 11:37 am

  118. My mother used to teach 4th grade in the Bronx and one of her students was named “Female” (pronounced Fee mah lay). The mother of this poor girl assumed that the hospital had named her.

    posted by Raina on 1-24-2008 at 11:47 am

  119. there was a girl back in high school named Sunshine Hooker. And she got called down to the office nearly every day.

    posted by Ian on 1-24-2008 at 11:51 am

  120. About 6 months ago we got a department-wide email encouraging us to welcome the newest memeber of the team… “Long Wang”.

    posted by Liz on 1-24-2008 at 11:57 am

  121. while at an Honor Band convention I found in the program the name of Sterling Silver.

    i should have kept that program…

    posted by the creature on 1-24-2008 at 11:58 am

  122. I used to work for the General Register Office in England, it’s where all the births, deaths and marriages are recorded for England and Wales back to 1837. Finding odd names during the course of our work was a common pastime, my all time favourite being Fanny Badminton. If no one believes me, I have a print out of it for veracity.

    posted by carlymau on 1-24-2008 at 12:18 pm

  123. I once gave presentations in elementary schools and would go around the first day and say every child’s name. One time I got to the last row of children and saw the name Denial written in front of me – I looked toward the teacher who told me to say “Den-e-ell” – I feel sorry for that child.

    Growing up we had a subsitute teacher – Mr. Butts – it only got worse when we learned his name is Richard Harry Butts and he went by Dick.

    posted by Kelly on 1-24-2008 at 12:46 pm

  124. Theresa Tickle

    We called her Tess…you do the math.

    posted by thaddio on 1-24-2008 at 1:20 pm

  125. 1) There was an OB/GYN, Dr. Beavers, who practiced in Omaha. He was my mother’s GYN. Not sure if he’s still practicing.
    2) My mother’s family doctor growing up was Dr. Needles. He retired and then we started going to see Dr. Payne.
    3) I know a guy named Dale Evans. Named so after THE Dale Evans was already famous.
    4) My cousin dated a guy named Roger Rogers. His brother was Richard Rogers, i.e. Rodgers and Hammerstein. This same cousin was once married to Tom Kruse. Restaurants weren’t very friendly when they were attempting to make reservations.
    5) I had another cousin who was married to Michael Jackson. At one time it was an OK name to have. Now, not so much.

    posted by bzzyb on 1-24-2008 at 2:14 pm

  126. I love this thread, and have a couple of them myself

    A family friend and anesthesiologist:
    Dr. Rye

    My uncle who is a freelance journalist doing car reviews:
    Harry Pegg and his wife Pat

    posted by Brock Kruger on 1-24-2008 at 2:15 pm

  127. My uncle’s name is Robert Roberts.

    posted by Tanner on 1-24-2008 at 2:32 pm

  128. My friend’s last name is Pedersen, but pronounced Peterson. I recently found out her dad’s formal name is worse than I thought. He goes by “Pete,” but it’s actually “Peder Pedersen” pronounced “Peter Peterson.”

    I also went to middle school with a kid named Shoobadeepduddah. I think it was Shoobadeep Duddah, but it could have been Shoob Adeepduddah.

    posted by Kelly J on 1-24-2008 at 2:44 pm

  129. My art teacher’s last name was Brown. Her first name?
    Dot.

    posted by bryn on 1-24-2008 at 3:02 pm

  130. Went to school with a girl named Mercedes Bins.

    Parents had an interesting sense of humor.

    posted by Amanda on 1-24-2008 at 3:39 pm

  131. I have an ancestor from jolly olde England who was, Dingley Dingley, and he resided in Dingley Dell.

    posted by Greg VA on 1-24-2008 at 4:16 pm

  132. My last name is Bean, and my ex-wife’s last name was Green. You’d have thought it was meant to be.

    posted by David on 1-24-2008 at 5:06 pm

  133. A couple more…I went to school with Sandra Beach, and her sister’s name was Michelle. Everyone, of course, called them Sandy and Shelly.

    posted by David on 1-24-2008 at 5:07 pm

  134. I work in health care and see lots of funny names:

    Mary Large Beaver
    Chew Dick (full last name)
    Classie Cheeks
    …

    posted by J Doe on 1-24-2008 at 5:24 pm

  135. Former Minnsota Vikings coach Bud Grant’s real name is Harry Peter.

    posted by eroe777 on 1-24-2008 at 6:02 pm

  136. My sister is very liberal in her politics, and so are her friends. One of her college friends was ironically named Eilene Wright.

    posted by Anthony on 1-24-2008 at 6:39 pm

  137. Maybe not ironic, but I have filed paperwork for an Allison Wonderland before. My favorite odd name is Werlindo Mangrobang, who used to order pizza from a place where a friend of mine worked. Also, I know a woman whose first name is Purification. I once had a Vietnamese student whose name was Phuoc, pronounced… well let’s just say I told him he might want to Americanize that one a bit.

    posted by scarlettm on 1-24-2008 at 9:09 pm

  138. My friend goes to law school with a girl named Amanda Dumee and I went to college with a girl named May Swallow. I always wondered if she had a brother named Will.

    posted by Brian on 1-25-2008 at 1:11 am

  139. I have a best friend named Ashfaq. He is from pakistan. Sadly, it is even dirtier in German, the first country he visited outside of Pakistan. :(

    posted by Jason Brower on 1-25-2008 at 11:45 am

  140. Legal Name:
    Jubilee Moxie Cherry

    Cherries jubilee is a dessert dish made with cherries and liqueur (typically Kirschwasser), which is subsequently flambéed, and commonly served as a sauce over vanilla ice cream.

    Moxie, a carbonated beverage, is considered by some to be the USA’s first mass produced soft drink.

    posted by ryan on 1-25-2008 at 1:54 pm

  141. I went to school with a redheaded girl named Strawberry Fields. Also, Jennifer Flonase… like the nasal spray.

    posted by Lisa on 1-25-2008 at 6:44 pm

  142. a friend of mine just became a great-aunt. the family’s last name is Jones, the baby girl’s name is Isabel Eleanor Indiana.

    no joke. google “Isabel Eleanor Indiana Jones”, and the family’s baby blog comes right up.

    posted by redhead on 1-26-2008 at 10:51 am

  143. I went to school with a girl named Ariel….her bother’s name was Sebastian. I kid you not. The joke was that her parents would have another child and name it Flounder.

    posted by Brittany on 1-29-2008 at 3:01 pm

  144. I have a friend who used to be married to a man with the last name “Picard” (pronounced like in Star Trek). She was a captain in the Army. So, for a while, she was “Captain Picard.”
    Also, as a teacher I’ve seen some unusual names. I had one of a set of twins with backwards names, the one in my class was Sema’J. It took me months to figure out that his name was James backwards. His twin had a backwards name as well, but I forget what it was.

    posted by greenstrawberries on 1-30-2008 at 4:27 am

  145. I went to highschool with a guy names Ace Champion and he was the gayest kid ever but how could you not be with that name. Either gay or an amazing athlete.

    posted by Shannon on 1-31-2008 at 5:51 pm

  146. Here’s one that isn’t an urban legend…in fact it’s cringeworthy disgusting.

    My first name, Elko – Middle name, Ely (pronounced eeelee) because my mum couldn’t remember which nevada town I was “made” in *cringe*

    All that wouldn’t be so bad if my last name was something like Brown or Smith no…it’s Healy.

    Elko Ely Healy

    posted by Elko on 2-4-2008 at 11:10 am

  147. Here are a few fun names…
    I know a spunky redhead named Ginger Power, I was delivered by Dr. Mistery (mystery), and my last name is Fanney. I have a British friend that cannot resist losing it every time my name is mentioned.

    posted by L.F. on 2-12-2008 at 3:47 pm

  148. the guy who sold me my first car was named Steve Aswad… I never asked him, how do you pronounce that?

    posted by larasue on 2-12-2008 at 4:27 pm

  149. Just a few I’ve met over the years:

    Liberty Bell

    Holly Woods (do you want your daughter to grow up to be a porn star?)

    Dr. Hipinstal (Who replaced my grandmothers two hips)

    Twins names Venus & Cosmos

    Twins named Justin & Justine Thyme

    & a women who’s maiden name was Rose Assman (She kept her maiden name after she married)

    posted by ERN on 2-12-2008 at 6:31 pm

  150. Two for you. My psychiatrist’s name for a while was Dr. Nutter. He actually seemed quite normal and not at all traumatized.
    Also, My dad went to high school with the undertaker’s son. Name of Doug Pitt. Dad mentioned this at the dinner table one night and for a few seconds couldn’t understand why we all burst out laughing. Familiarity, eh?

    posted by Mike on 2-13-2008 at 12:21 am

  151. Was delivered by Dr. Spitz (It’s on my birth certificate!)

    posted by Kate on 2-13-2008 at 2:11 pm

  152. I saw this and i babysit for a lady who has four boys and they are named the following:
    Rigde.
    Stone.
    River.
    Trail.

    i still dont know what she was thinking and i dont want to ask and offend her. She must have been a nature thing i guess.

    posted by jilly on 2-20-2008 at 12:19 pm

  153. My name is strange…..Janzen.

    These are my siblings

    1. Applonia
    2. Burnadette
    3. Melanie-Faith
    3. Gwyndalynne
    4. Judith.
    5. Lilith
    6. Alaney
    7. Ember
    8. Helia
    9. Kamrynleigh

    some were adopted, but as babies. so my parents picked weird names.

    posted by Janzen on 1-19-2009 at 1:14 pm

  154. I was just reading about the paleontologists Cope and Marsh. Cope’s full name is Edward Drinker Cope and Marsh’s name is Othniel Charles Marsh. No wonder people refer to them by their last names!

    My friend’s mom is named Terry Berry.

    Since I go by Julie, and my last name starts with T, people tend to read those together as Juliet.

    But my favorite strange names come from a friend’s family, the Bent’s. Their youngest is Maria Lexus Bent, and their oldest is Mercedes Bent.

    posted by JT on 1-28-2009 at 10:18 am

  155. Reminds me of the plumbers in our area:
    Gary Peed
    John Flood
    M. E. Flow
    Stuart Waters

    No kidding, google them.

    posted by JT on 1-28-2009 at 10:35 am

  156. There is a proctologist in Florida named Anil Rham.

    posted by NH Surfer on 2-19-2009 at 10:12 am

  157. I have a few:
    Larry Page one of the founders of Google

    Tom Kruse inventor of Hoveround

    John Coffee, a professor at Columbia University School of Law

    Dr. Boris Worm marine conservation biology

    Donald Trump casino owner

    defense secretary, Robert Gates

    Vinton Cerf, one of the Internet’s founding fathers

    Allyson Machnik is responsible for matching children and foster families

    Thomas Crapper’s plumbing company built flush toilets of Giblin’s design

    James Blackburn Fire Chief, arsonist, Brandon Blackburn, firefighter, faces two counts of arson; Floyd Joe Kilburn firefighter arsonist

    GM Chairman and Chief Executive Rick Wagoner

    Assistant prosecutor Dennis Barr

    Colorado State University’s weather guru Dr. William Gray

    — Paul Warfield Tibbets Jr., the pilot and commander of the B-29 that
    dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima

    After graduating from Harvard with a degree in mathematics, Frank Livingstone earned a
    masters and doctorate in anthropology from the University of Michigan, where he became a
    professor and chairman of the anthropology department. He was best known for his research in
    Liberia and West Africa and his work on sickle cell disease. His research focused on genetic
    variation in modern human populations and he wrote about the uselessness of the term “race” as
    applied to human evolution. Livingstone died in 2005.

    Kevin Colburn, a spokesman for the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection

    posted by 4silvas on 6-16-2009 at 2:33 pm

  158. I went to school with a kid named Justin Case and another guy named Mike Hunt. (say it fast) I played hockey with a guy from Europe named Uno Knofthng.

    posted by J on 12-4-2009 at 8:42 pm

  159. Yale Fan.

    He went to Harvard.

    posted by Cosmos on 6-21-2010 at 11:48 am

  160. Son had a teacher last year in 5th grade called Mr. Buttburn, his 2nd grade teacher was Mr. Flake

    posted by kay on 8-26-2011 at 8:45 pm

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