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Have you ever been really keyed up, in a huge hurry — to see a movie, get on a plane, buy a Nintendo Wii — only to find, after you round that last corner, that you’re suddenly standing at the back of a huge, snaking line? To stop yourself from screaming or committing ritual Seppuku right there takes an enormous and immediate readjustment of your frame of mind — you have to get into what I like to call Long Line Zen Mind. After all, I’m the kind of guy who refuses to be stuck in traffic on the freeway; once I crest the hill and see brakelights stretching out in front of me, I dive off the highway at the nearest exit — even if I’m in the middle of the desert — convinced that any misadventure I happen upon while forging my own path is preferable to being stuck in the mindless herd.
“In our everyday life our thinking is ninety-nine percent self-centered. “Why do I have suffering? Why do I have trouble?” ["Why do I have to wait in this ^%$#ing line?"] In [Long Line Zen Mind], your mind and body have great power to accept [lines] as they are, whether agreeable or disagreeable.” *
To help us prepare, we meditate on lines longer than any we dare to dream we’ll be ensnared in. Here are some of our favorites. Before we get started, though, what’s the longest line you’ve ever waited in?
The Heathrow Airport Customs Screening Line, February, 2007
Line to Get Groceries in Russia, 1991
According to the folks at EnglishRussia, “Just fifteen years ago you couldn’t just walk in the shop and buy what you need. Instead, you had to stand the longest line you’ve ever seen and as a regard you could buy not more than some limited amount of a limited choice food or other products. That was Russia in the beginning of the 90s – right after the collapse of USSR, when old Communistic supply system was already ruined but new, capitalistic, hasn’t been built yet.”
Turns out Russians were standing in long lines just during the 1917 transition into Communism, as well. Here’s a sight: thousands of Russian citizens (all cheerily clad in black) waiting in line to buy bread, being watched over by trigger-happy Imperial Police.
“Because we enjoy all aspects of life as an unfolding of big [lines], we do not care for any excessive joy. So we have imperturbable composure [in excessively long lines].”
Line to Buy Gas in Iraq
This line is more than three miles long. People literally spend all day getting gas in some parts of Iraq (in 117-degree heat), which must require an absolutely heroic amount of patience.
(Here’s a better video of people waiting for gas in Iraq, but embedding was disabled so I couldn’t post it.)
“Our life and death are the same thing. When we realize this fact, we have no fear of [long lines] anymore, nor actual difficulty in our life.”
Line to Get into Japan’s First Apple Store, 2003
“When you [wait in a long line], if you fix your mind on the activity with some confidence, the quality of your state of mind is the activity itself. When you are concentrated on the quality of your being, you are prepared for [at least a four-hour wait].”
Line to Get into the Vatican Museum on a Saturday Morning
I like art, too. But not this much:
“For Zen students a [long line] is a treasure.”
* Adapted (with slight alterations) from Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind
Comments (46)
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I was in that last line for the Vatican museum (and more importantly for me, the Sistine Chapel) for a whopping 3-4 hours in the summer morning heat. We thought that we would beat the crowd by getting there at 8am on a weekday, but the line was already 4-5 blocks long by the time we reached it. Apparently, the best way to “beat the crowd” is to camp out the night before… but the wait was definitely worth it!
posted by kris on 1-25-2008 at 11:17 am
The longest line I have ever been in was at Superstition Mall in AZ at midnight for Halo 2. The line snaked through the entire mall, from the EB upstairs to the one entrance they had open, and back again. The worst part of it was that at about 2am when a guy gave up and left, only to come back 20 minutes later with a copy he snagged from a nearby Walmart.
posted by Rachel on 1-25-2008 at 11:21 am
I refuse to stand in a line like that for something I don’t have to do. Customs at Heathrow is one thing…no choice. But the Apple Store??? I’m sorry. The lines will eventually go away when it’s no longer new, and I can see it then. The same logic keeps me from going to new restaurants and fighting crowds just to be the first to say “I ate there.” I’ll enjoy my experience a whole lot more when I’m not surrounded by the masses. Yuck!
posted by Bre on 1-25-2008 at 11:42 am
The longest ones recently were the ones at ComicCon. For those of you who haven’t been, you basically have several mutually exclusive options – try to see all of the sales and presentation exhibits and maybe a few small panels; spend the whole con standing in line for autographs; or spend the whole con standing in line for the big studio panels, premieres, and presentations.
We did a little of all three, but not enough of either. We stood in line for the Paramount presentation for a couple of hours.
The coolest line cutting I ever got to do was in Paris. We had bought the Carte Musee passes that got you in to pretty much ever museum and attraction in Paris (they are a great deal). What we didn’t know was that they also let you enter separately from everyone else, so there was a HUGE line for the Sainte Chappelle church (I think I spelled that right) and we didn’t know if the line would be worth it or if the carte musee pass worked there. We walked up to the front of the line to ask someone and they said it did, opened a rope, and we went right in. After that, we bypassed every line and went right to the door and they let us in.
posted by Christopher Palmer on 1-25-2008 at 11:42 am
O’Hare International Airport, eight days after the 9/11 attacks. I’m suprised I’m not STILL in that line.
posted by Suzanne on 1-25-2008 at 12:01 pm
My boyfriend and I decided to go to Best Buy this past Black Friday to get an awesome deal on a laptop. We thought, just for fun, we’d go Thanksgiving evening just to scope out the scene. The line was already wrapped around the building. He jumped in and scored us a spot while I did an emergency run to Wal-Mart for blankets and food. We ended up spending the entire miserable night in line. Everything was bearable until about 3am. Around that time people started getting panicky. Best Buy started re-negging on promises they’d made to hand out coupons for items at certain times during the night; rumors started to spread that people were hoarding coupons to resell items on Ebay. Soon everyone was tired, restless, and pissed, and by the time the doors opened it was complete and utter chaos. The really sucky part is that we didn’t even get the laptop we went for – they were already out of our coupons by the time we reached the door. We got a different one instead, but as soon as we made it back outside and had the computer in the car I burst into tears. I will never wait in a line like that again – there’s nothing on earth I need that badly.
posted by bas on 1-25-2008 at 12:06 pm
Ironically, given the title of your post, the longest line I was ever in was to get in to see the Dalai Lama when he spoke at Brandeis University about 10 years ago.
posted by Brian on 1-25-2008 at 12:07 pm
In a brilliant illustration of both peer pressure and the Abilene Paradox, I waited in line for three hours at King’s Island last summer to ride the then-new rollercoaster “Firehawk” with three friends.
When getting on the ride and being strapped into the harness I looked at my friend strapped next to me and said, “I don’t think I want to do this anymore”
Close second comes the long long line I waited in outside Barnes and Nobles to get a wristband to be able to come back and claim my two copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows later that night.
posted by Ashley on 1-25-2008 at 12:13 pm
I waited over an hour to ride the teacups at Disneyland. Not so long, you say? Well, the whole time you’re trapped in the line, the Alice in Wonderland song “Very Merry Unbirthday” is playing on a continuous loop. When I hear the song now, a start to get a twitch. If ever I go on a rampage, at least I have something to pin it to. ;)
posted by Debi on 1-25-2008 at 12:34 pm
Back in the 80s, before the heyday of cell phones, the Garden State Art Center (Now the PNC Art Center — sigh) would release all the tickets to ALL their concerts on a Monday. We’re talking around 30 concerts throughout the summer.
Calling Tickettron (or whatever it was), wasn’t working for me. Constantly busy. So after several hours of that; I decided to drive down to the GSAC (about an hour away) and get on line to buy tickets.
The line was incredible. Wove all the way around their lawn area (which was pretty big). I figured I’d drive all the way down here, what the heck.
I probably got there around 1 and didn’t get to the ticket counter till after 8 PM. Apparently their computers kept crashing or something. It was AWFUL!
And this kid learned NEVER to do anything like that AGAIN!
posted by beth on 1-25-2008 at 12:39 pm
The longest line I ever waited in was not made of humans, but instead made of cars. I went to Bonnaroo (which is a music festival in Tennessee) a few years ago (before it got sponsored by MTV) and, after driving 15 hours through the night (crammed into the jumper seat of a pickup truck), we arrived on the highway that would lead us into the concert site. I wish I could post pictures on here because the line was amazingly long. I believe we arrived in the line at around 3 PM on a Thursday, and sat at a complete standstill, intermittently moving 4 feet or so as cars were let in, for the next 8 hours until we FINALLY saw the gates of the festival. From there it was another 2 hours to pass through the ticket counters and find a spot to set up camp.
The cars stretched back as far as you could see in either direction. Local traffic was rerouted elsewhere. Locals sat out on their porches and gawked at all the funny hippies. Some locals sold water or lemonade, and one woman was nice enough to let me pee in her bathroom (I was the only girl in my group of 11 guys, and they could pee anywhere, so I was SOL).
Did I mention it was the middle of the summer? Good times. After that, long lines don’t faze me at all.
posted by Molly W. on 1-25-2008 at 12:39 pm
Almost forgot to mention. The next year, I went back and did the whole thing all over again :)
posted by Molly W. on 1-25-2008 at 12:43 pm
I’m with kris! (First post). I did exactly the same thing when I was in Rome. The line was so long that I was actually taking pictures of it (like a professional tourist). I didn’t have a video camera, or I might have gone that route.
posted by erin on 1-25-2008 at 12:47 pm
When the Wisconsin Badgers went to the Rose Bowl for the 1998 season, we decided to go. To get tickets, we waited in a 4 hours line just to get into the lottery, then waited another hour to buy the tickets. Once we got to Pasadena, we had to wait in another 4 hour line to pick up the tickets. I hope they have changed the system since then. It was a nightmare, but the game was great!
posted by Alicia Domack on 1-25-2008 at 12:49 pm
Four hours to get at plywood to cover up windows at my parents’ house for Hurricane Rita. They left me as a bookmark in the line! Thanks, guys.
posted by Sarah on 1-25-2008 at 1:16 pm
I went to a Phish NYE show in ‘99/’00 at the Big Seminole Indian Reservation in the Everglades (FL). There is only one road in & out of the reservation, so imagine waiting THIRTEEN HOURS just to get inside the grounds, in the Florida summer sun, surrounded by partying, tailgating hippies. Good times. The show was great, tho, totally worth the wait!
posted by Amy on 1-25-2008 at 1:18 pm
@ Molly: I went to the same Bonnaroo festival, pre-MTV days . . . I know what you mean! I spent at least 8 hours waiting to get in, getting gawked at, then of course there was the wait for parking passes, then getting the bracelet . . . pure torture. And yes, I was crazy enough to go back and do it again the following year as well! Sigh, the things we do in the name of a good time . . .
posted by Amy on 1-25-2008 at 1:22 pm
Longest standing in line, I think, was for the Jungle Cruise at Disneyworld. The Jungle Cruise queue house is designed in such a way that you can’t tell how long it is when it’s packed… but at least the recorded announcements are entertaining.
Longest traffic lines have been for freeway-closing wrecks in the Dallas area. The most frustrating ones are during Texas Ranger games, because the areas’ primary traffic station is also the Texas Rangers radio station – and they don’t interrupt game broadcasts for anything short of a tornado.
I must have been blessed the day I went to the Vatican Museum – minimal line – don’t know how that happened…
posted by Karl Lewis on 1-25-2008 at 1:28 pm
6 hours to get a good seat at a Neil Gaiman reading. Then 4 more hours to meet him/take a picture/have him sign my copy of American Gods.
Totally worth it.
posted by Jen on 1-25-2008 at 1:37 pm
I think the longest I ever waited in a line was for the Phantom Menace…I think it was about 5 or 6 hours of standing around. But it was worth it, at the time anyway.
posted by J on 1-25-2008 at 1:47 pm
The longest line for me was in my car,in 87 degrees humid heat with no AC (as that would require gas being used, and there was NO gas in the whole entire city) while evacuating for Hurricane Rita.
It was the most horrible and miserable experience of my life, and we were on the road (which was a parking lot) for about 25 hours and only got about 10 miles.
posted by Pink Coat on 1-25-2008 at 1:52 pm
Five hours to get into the Eiffel Tower in Paris. This is after an entire day of walking in the city. Worst. Foot Pain. Ever.
posted by Tricia on 1-25-2008 at 1:54 pm
I’ll tell you what felt like the longest line ever. I was at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden during the Cherry Blossom Festival, during which time the place is always packed, and after the obligatory Sapporo, I had to pee. I waited on line for one of two single-stall bathrooms for about half an hour. Then, when I was finally two people away from salvation, this pregnant woman cut everyone on the line. Someone behind me said, “Next time I’ll just stuff a pillow up my shirt!”
Actual longest line, I think, was for free tickets to the 40th Anniversary Concert of Hair at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park last September. I got to the theater around 6:30am, just behind all the people who had camped out overnight. The tickets were given out at 1pm. I actually wasn’t that far back in the line, but the line went on (and on and on…) behind me.
posted by fshk on 1-25-2008 at 2:12 pm
The worst day I ever had for lines was at the amusement park Cedar Pointe in OH. I waited 4 Hrs to ride whatever the new coaster was they had that year (I can’t even remember), and then 2 Hrs each for two more coasters. An entire day there and I only rode 3 rides, yet waited in line 8 hrs!! Yet somehow I still have fond memories of Cedar pointe. Strange.
posted by Sara on 1-25-2008 at 2:18 pm
Pink Coat beat me to it, but getting out of South East Houston in the days before Rita. 20 hours to make a four hour drive to Dallas. Stopped half way in a Taco Bell parking lot at 11:30 (we had been in the car since 4 AM. I went in, said to the clerk, “I am not casing the joint or anything, my wife and I are running from the hurricane and we are going to sleep in the car here in your parking lot.”
They were cool with it, when we woke up and turned on the car (around 2) an employee ran out and gave us a couple free soft tacos. Best tacos I ever had for breakfast.
posted by Witty Nickname on 1-25-2008 at 2:55 pm
A few years ago during the NYC transit strike, I managed to get a ride home from work with some friends. It was a two-minute walk from my office building to the parking lot where their car was. Once we got the car, it took an hour to drive from that parking lot just back to my office building.
posted by Annie on 1-25-2008 at 2:57 pm
Sara, I’ve been to Cedar Point also, but not in about 10 years or so. I remember the 4+hour waits for the newer rides. The best time to go is during the week, after Memorial day but before all the kids get out of school. Much, much shorter lines even for the new and popular rides.
I think for me, one of the worst was waiting at Disney for the “it’s a small world” ride. I don’t recall how long the wait was (no more than an hour, at the very most). But, my goodness, how can the people who work there stand it? I almost went nuts listening to that annoying song over, and over, and over…
posted by It's good to be the King on 1-25-2008 at 3:01 pm
Longest line I’ve ever been in: A quarter-mile long line to get to customs at the Cancún airport.
Close second: Deathly Hallows line at a Barnes and Nobles.
posted by Leggy on 1-25-2008 at 3:23 pm
i’ve also had to wait in huge lines at cedar point, kings island and disney. but i went to the point once during may…on a weekday…after a storm…in the morning. we got to park at the main entrance, got to ride all the rides by noon, and got to ride the gemini coaster 2x in a row b/c no one was in line when our ride was over. we begged the gemini girls to let us go again. after they swore us to secrecy, they let us go again. i was actually dizzy with excitement from all the roller coasting. best trip ever.
posted by josh on 1-25-2008 at 3:24 pm
An open call audtion for a Brad Pitt movie they were filming in Alberta.
That was a long day. They had the line snaked around the hotel 4 times. I got there at 7 am and I still had to wait 11 hours. People had been camped out there since the day before! And then we found out the next day that they only accepted the first 1000 people no matter if they had the qualifications or not. I was #1023. Boo.
posted by cassiegrace on 1-25-2008 at 3:31 pm
OK, I’m dating myself with this one, but the longest line I ever waited in was getting out of the US Festival-Day 1.
Arriving early, we thought we had really scored by getting a parking space in the closest lot – you still had to take a shuttle bus from there to the festival gates.
After a day of incredible music capped off by The Clash we started back toward the car around 11PM.
It was a two hour struggle to get to the gate which had been shut down to single file because of the crush of metalheads queuing up for the next day’s performances.
As you exited the gate you were funneled directly onto the next available shuttle bus. The bus then took everyone to the furtherest parking lot where you were forced to get off. We then had to hike back toward the concert grounds and our car.
Once we reached the car, we got in the line to get out of the parking lots. The dirt road designed for two lanes of traffic was overwhelmed by two lanes of the next day’s concert goes coming in and the exiting traffic was forced to share the shoulder with the incoming pedestrian traffic. It was six hours from the time we got to the car until we got out of the parking lot.
Oddly enough the whole group of us came back for Day 3 – more great music headlined by Stevie Nicks and David Bowie.
posted by JohnV on 1-25-2008 at 3:45 pm
I wasnt STANDING in a line, but I was trying to go over the grapevine in CA (a narrow pass over a bunch of hills) a week after a flood wiped away 90% of the support underneath the road… it took me 5 hours to go 20 miles. I was about to have a nervous breakdown.
Also, another driving wait, I was trying to cross the Bay bridge to get out of San Francisco. They had all the on ramps closed except for one, which wound through all sorts of construction. To go 2 blocks, it took 3 hours. I still think I should have just turned around and driven the opposite way, or just stay the night in SF.
posted by Sarah on 1-25-2008 at 4:02 pm
The longest line I’ve ever stood in was stupid Space Mountain at Disneyland. 4 hours. Basically my entire Disneyland experience. But we went in December so it was nice and cool.
I also abhor traffic. I live on Oahu and we have quite possibly the worst road-planning in the country. They’re continuing to build thousands of new homes on the West side of the island (where the traffic is the worst) because some rich real estate bastard decided he needs even more money. Next time you visit Oahu, we’ll probably have a double-decker freeway. Disgusting. I’m moving to the Big Island or Maui the first chance I get.
posted by Leah on 1-25-2008 at 4:48 pm
Pink Coat and Witty Nickname, I’m there with you. I went to college in New Orleans, and evacuated from 5 hurricanes in my 4 years (including Katrina). During one of them, it took us 9 hours to get about 30 miles out of the city. We eventually stopped at a Waffle House, waited in line for an hour to get a table and another hour and a half to get our food. Then there was the Katrina evacuation where the counterflow wasn’t marked, and I ended up driving about four hours in the wrong direction because every single exit was blocked and you literally could not get off the highway sans four wheel drive.
posted by Lindsey on 1-25-2008 at 5:01 pm
The two times I’ve been to the Vatican, I’ve been in the afternoon, and the line wasn’t that bad. I’m pretty convinced it is because all the tour books say to get there early to beat the line, which of course makes it worse. Sort of the same thing with those ’security’ wallets that all Americans wear around their necks in Europe.
posted by bo on 1-25-2008 at 5:03 pm
You guys can look at India to see some of the longest lines in the world especially in metro’s like Mumbai, New Delhi and Calcutta.
There is a whole culture about people spending their time doing different things (knitting,reading,meditating) while standing in a line for hours.
posted by kamal rij on 1-25-2008 at 5:33 pm
People I used to work with gave me grief because I admitted I did most of my food shopping at 7-Eleven because I couldn’t stand the lines at grocery stores. Man, I’m horrible.
posted by Kary on 1-25-2008 at 6:45 pm
It was at Ozzfest at PNC Arts Center this past summer where I had to wait in the longest line in the universe. The bathroom line. Sure, it was only a 20 minute wait, but when you’ve had 7 or more beers it seems like an eternity.
It was also the bathroom by the second stage so the floor was flooded with an inch of pee water and the toilet I used was completely clogged and filled to the top with pee, puke, toilet paper and dookie. I took a picture of it with my phone and when people look through all the pictures of Ozzy and the other bands and all of the sudden this disgusting, overflowing mess of a toilet pops up, it’s funny.
posted by CJ on 1-25-2008 at 7:09 pm
At the end of 8th grade, the class took a trip to Six Flags Great America. I’m not sure if the line for Superman: Ultimate Flight, Batman The Ride or Raging Bull was the longer (I want to say Raging Bull, but my memory may be tainted by the fact that no matter how long/short the line was, Raging Bull was totally not worth it), but either way, they were easily the longest lines I’ve ever experienced.
posted by S on 1-25-2008 at 7:45 pm
My longest wait was to get a copy of Deathly Hallows at Barnes and Noble. I was number 1851 in the pre-ordered line. My best friend had gone to the local grocery store that was next door to buy a copy of the British version (which they didn’t have) and she was gloating that she was number 4 in her line. It was worth it for the experience though
posted by Elizabeth on 1-25-2008 at 9:46 pm
I remember waiting in line for 3 hours one hot, summer day at Cedar Point (if you didn’t know, it is like the best amusement park ever). We were in line for the most popular and newest coaster at the time, and it broke down a few times while we waited.
posted by Michaela on 1-25-2008 at 11:39 pm
Like Leah, it was 4 hours for Space Mountain, except it was Disney World.
For an 11 year old 4 hours seemed loooong, but I wanted to ride it so much that the wait didn’t seem like it was that long.
posted by Tdave on 1-26-2008 at 3:55 am
I’ve stood in some awfully long airport security lines, up to an hour or more. But the worst has been various rides at Disney. Close to two hours in line for a stupid ten minute ride. Of course if you could see that it’s a long line you could skip it, but it looks short until you turn the corner and see a whole ‘nuther room. Then when you make it to the end of that room and turn the corner to see another room then another, etc. Every one of their lines are structured that way. I went there once with the kids and only made it on something like five rides the entire day. I’ll never go there again.
posted by Karl on 1-26-2008 at 7:57 am
@ Amy- Yah we’re probably not very wise. But those were very good times, indeed. However the last summer I went was the year they put Trey Anastasio as the HEADLINER and relegated the Dead to the Saturday night show… that was the last straw for me. Plus it was so hot the whole weekend that I could barely leave my campsite, and we got drenched at the Dead show after being toasted all day, I was really sick the whole next day so I missed Trey.
Oh, and there was a line to get out too. :) But all in all, the good times were worth the bad.
posted by Molly W. on 1-26-2008 at 1:51 pm
I am British so queuing is built into my DNA.
But the worst queue i have ever been in was at the Carling weekend Leeds festival, there was a large selection of porta-loo’s (Porta-potty)confined to one area and out an estimated 300 (for the 80,000 people on site) In this particular area about 3 worked. We queued for hours and nearly, very nearly missed Metallica’s headline set.
posted by Martyn on 1-27-2008 at 1:27 pm
Same as Amy (#16). Phish, Big Cypress, NYE 99/00. We got stuck for 16 hours. But every second was worth it.
posted by Mike on 1-29-2008 at 2:42 pm