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1. The Freemasons
This is the granddaddy of all not-so-secret secret societies. Freemasonry, or “The Craft” as its members call it, most likely has its roots in 17th-century stoneworkers’ guilds. Mason lore, however, extends its origins back to biblical times, linking the society to the building of the Temple of Solomon. Freemasonry is split into numerous subgroups and orders, all of which consider God the Grand Geometrician, or Grand Architect of the Universe. At their hearts, these groups are all means of exploring ethical and philosophical issues, and their rituals and symbols are famous (or infamous). Take, for instance, the square-and-compass logo often seen on the backs of Cadillacs. Or the use of secret handshakes, passwords, and greeting postures/gestures called “due guards,” all collectively known as the Modes of Recognition. The list of famous Masons is massive, a virtual Who’s Who of modern history, explaining the many conspiracy theories regarding the Masons’ influence and intentions. Mozart, FDR, Harry S. Truman, George Washington, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Benjamin Franklin, John Wayne, W. C. Fields, and Douglas MacArthur were all Masons. But perhaps the Masons’ greatest strides have been made in fast food: KFC’s Colonel Sanders and Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas knew how to secret-shake with the best of ’em.
2. The Illuminati
Over the centuries, lots of groups have called themselves the Illuminati (“Enlightened Ones”), but the one we’re talking about here began as the Bavarian Illuminati. A radical product of the Enlightenment and offshoot of the religion-based Freemasons, the Illuminati espoused secular freethinking and intellectualism and proved a threat to Europe’s old order. Although they were officially banned by the Bavarian government in 1784, some claim that they live on to this day in other guises. So, what’s the Illuminati’s goal? To establish a new world order of capitalism and authoritarianism, of course! They’ve been accused of manipulating currencies, world stock markets, elections, assassinations, and even of being aliens. One common myth is that the eye-and-pyramid image on the dollar bill is a symbol of the Illuminati watching over us. Nope. It’s a symbol of strength and durability (though unfinished, symbolizing growth and change), and the all-seeing eye represents the divine guidance of the American cause. Or so the government says.
3. Opus Dei
This organization has a $42 million, 17-story headquarters building on Lexington Avenue in New York City, claims 85,000 members in 60 countries, and was featured in Dan Brown’s bestseller The Da Vinci Code. Now that its existence has been significantly unsecretized, this ultraorthodox Catholic sect has definitely raised its share of eyebrows. Founded in 1928 by Saint Josemaría Escrivá (a Spanish priest who bore an uncanny resemblance to Karl Malden), Opus Dei is the short name for the Prelature for the Holy Cross and the Work of God. The sect (some would say cult) stresses a return to traditional Catholic orthodoxy and behavior, especially celibacy, with members falling into one of three levels. Numeraries live in Opus Dei facilities, devote their time and money to the prelature, attend mass daily, and engage in mortification of the flesh (wearing a spiked chain around the thigh called a cilice, taking cold showers, or flagellating themselves with a knotted rope called “the discipline”). Next come Associates (kind of like Numeraries, but living “off campus”), then Supernumeraries (the rank-and-file members). The group did gain the praise of Pope John Paul II, and has engaged in a lot of charity work. Yet, critics accuse the group of being linked to fascist organizations like Franco’s government in Spain, and of anti-Semitism and intolerance, even of other Catholics. [Photo courtesy of DanBrown.com.]
4. Skull and Bones
Top dog among all the collegiate secret societies, Yale’s Skull and Bones dates to 1832 and goes by other spooky names like Chapter 322 and the Brotherhood of Death. With a large number of Bonesmen who have attained positions of power, including the president and the head of the CIA, it’s no wonder that rumors abound that the society is hell-bent on obtaining power and influencing U.S. foreign policy. The fact that they meet in an imposing templelike building on the Yale campus called (what else?) the Tomb doesn’t really help. Bonesmen are selected, or “tapped,” during their junior year and can reveal their membership only after they’ve graduated. But they can never talk about it. The Bones have been accused of all sorts of crazy rituals and conspiracies, including drug smuggling and the assassination of JFK (a hated Hahvahd man, after all). It’s even rumored that the skull of Geronimo resides in the Tomb, stolen from its resting place by Prescott Bush, Dubya’s granddad. In one of the more commonly known rituals, the initiate spends all night naked in an open coffin, confessing all his sexual experiences to the group. So, who’s lucky enough to have made such a confession? George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, John Kerry, William Howard Taft, McGeorge Bundy, William F. Buckley, and Henry Luce are just a few.
5. The Bohemian Club
This is a weird one. In the majestic forests of Sonoma County north of San Francisco lies the Bohemian Grove, the 2,700-acre wooded retreat of the Bohemian Club, the nation’s most exclusive men’s club. Every July since 1879, the “Bohos” have gathered at the Grove for a two-week encampment, where they’re divided into more than 100 residential camps with names like Owl’s Nest, Cave Man, and Lost Angels. Membership has included, well, just about everybody important: Ronald Reagan, Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon (who once called it “faggy”), Gerald Ford, Colin Powell, Dick Cheney, and many CEOs and wealthy business leaders like Malcolm Forbes. Each encampment opens with a robed-and-hooded ceremony called the Cremation of Care, in which an effigy called “Dull Care” (symbolizing worldly concerns) is burned before a 40- foot concrete statue of an owl, symbol of wisdom and the club’s mascot. Throughout the week, plays are staged (called High Jinx and Low Jinx), there’s lots of eating and drinking (and, reportedly, urinating on trees), and members are treated to speeches called Lakeside Talks. Some opponents go so far as to accuse the group of Satanism, witchcraft, homosexuality, and prostitution, while more reasonable observers object to the Lakeside Talks as national policy discussions to which the public is not privy. But above all, it’s seen as a way that some of the elite meet others of the elite, thereby ensuring that they’ll all stay elite. All this makes the club’s seemingly anticonspiratorial slogan—“Weaving spiders, come not here”—that much more ironic. [Photo of Reagan & Nixon at the Bohemian Club courtesy of Wikipedia.]
6. The Trilateral Commission
While not, on its face, as juicily sinister as some of the other societies on this list, the Trilateral Commission has been accused of all sorts of underhanded shenanigans by its critics. Formed in 1973 by David Rockefeller, the Commission includes over 300 prominent citizens from Europe, Asia, and North America in a forum for discussing the regions’ common interests. But conspiracy theorists hold that the Trilateral Commission, along with the Council on Foreign Relations and others, is really just a front for a larger, more sinister order called the Round Table Groups, founded in London over 100 years ago and bent on the creation of a new world order, a global capitalist police state. Yikes! (For the record, some say the Round Table Groups are themselves just fronts for another society, the Illuminati, so who knows?) American members of the Trilateral Commission have included Bill Clinton, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Carter, Dick Cheney, and Dianne Feinstein.
This article was excerpted from the mental_floss book ‘Forbidden Knowledge.’
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Comments (147)
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Notice the lack of all-womens’ “secret societies?” Yeah, that’s cuz we have more important things to do with our time, like raising families and taking over the world. Let the boys have their secret meetings and campfire talks while we gals figure out how to really get stuff done.
posted by Molly W. on 1-27-2008 at 10:35 pm
Molly, the Sisterhood of the Eastern Star was all female until recently, when they and the Freemasons both went unisex. Theoretically, the Freemasons take women, in practice, who knows? Honestly, though, I’d like it if you gave up sexism for a little while, and gave research a whack. Otherwise you’ll sound like you’re speaking directly out of your ass… again.
posted by Frank Q. on 1-27-2008 at 11:01 pm
Congratulations, Molly, for writing the dumbest f*****g thing i’ve read today.
American members of the Trilateral Commission have included Bill Clinton, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Carter, Dick Cheney, and Dianne Feinstein.
Notice the female in the society…
posted by Bryan on 1-27-2008 at 11:14 pm
forgot bilderburgers
posted by adam on 1-27-2008 at 11:26 pm
Or our secret societies stay a secret.
posted by Lindsay on 1-27-2008 at 11:41 pm
Speaking as someone who knows people in the Bohemian Club, and having been to the Bohemian Grove myself, I can attest that the rumors about the place are ridiculous. At worst, it’s a grown-up version of a boys’ club. There is much eating, drinking, and music playing. The plays that are put on (entirely written and acted by the members of the club, each year) are extravagant and impressive productions. No electronics are allowed; cell phones do not get reception, computers are strictly forbidden. It’s basically a way for adults who have serious responsibilities 50 weeks out of the year to get together and have some fun just enjoying the simpler things in life.
posted by KG on 1-28-2008 at 12:02 am
I think I’d like a world run by my mum. Long hair and earrings on men would be absolutely out of the question. Instead of war, you’d get a bloody good talking to, one that would leave you apologising for days, possibly weeks. And any attempt to do anything illegal would lead to a particular sigh that could melt your bones.
posted by Edward on 1-28-2008 at 1:07 am
Molly W. is a silly bint.
You still can’t join the club, sorry.
posted by Joe on 1-28-2008 at 1:23 am
Actually the Co-Masons initiate women on an equal footing as men. Google Co-masons or Co-freemasons for more information.
posted by Sue on 1-28-2008 at 1:26 am
What’s the point of having secret societies if everyone knows about it?
posted by mexichica85 on 1-28-2008 at 1:27 am
You forgot about the Bilderberg group!
posted by BIlderberger on 1-28-2008 at 1:33 am
No, it’s because all you women would just gab about it to your girlfriends and mothers and sisters and daughters.
posted by me on 1-28-2008 at 1:48 am
You know about them. They want you to know about them; here’s the secret… everything else.
posted by Joe Blow on 1-28-2008 at 1:50 am
if you like shaving cats, try shaing crayons
posted by Duclod on 1-28-2008 at 2:10 am
womyn’s secret societies – like the pta or oprah’s book club? give me a break, “ladies”.
posted by sdf on 1-28-2008 at 2:32 am
Because those secret societies are just there to distract you from what is really going on.
posted by Dr. Fennison Maltese on 1-28-2008 at 3:54 am
@Molly, one thing for sure, Freemasons have women sections :-)
posted by quietlaugh on 1-28-2008 at 4:11 am
you forgot the Bilderbergs!
posted by kevin on 1-28-2008 at 4:13 am
Its their influence, not their existence, that makes them secret. It two members of the group conspiring together without public knowledge of their group affiliation that makes it secret. What is this bubble, “Cracked” version of reality?
posted by Ian on 1-28-2008 at 4:44 am
Molly W. – *groan*……
posted by JD on 1-28-2008 at 5:39 am
They’re all perfect examples of what C. S. Lewis was talking about in his “Inner Ring” speech (just google it and find the geocities link for a copy of his text.)
As humans, we all have an innate need to form tribes, clubs, cliques, fraternaties, etc. It’s the usual wish to belong, the “Us vs. Them” feeling, and the weirder, the more appealing these structures seem.
From the outside each of these seem more interesting than they truly are – the grass being greener on the inside…
Once inside, the illusion wears off, and a feeling of normalcy sets in, so we further seek the inner ring inside that inner ring, and so for, until we get to the center of the onion and find that it is empty… At which point, we’d probably find ourselves building yet another inner ring, and so on.
And thus it is that weird little cults such as Scientology, which ultimately form pyramid schemes can exist, where at every level more and more time and money is spent climbing through the layers.
By the time the ‘initiate’ starts to question their beliefs, it’s too late for they’ve invested so much time and money into the inner ring, that it becomes difficult to exit.
This isn’t to say that these cults don’t have goals and policies, if anything, if they are to survive, they must instill in their members the survival imperative for the secret society…
Thus their members act to foster cronyism, where jobs, favors, contracts are given to members over the outsiders, and that by itself is where these things become unethical, and conflicts of interest arise. This is of course how these Inner Rings climb to such prestige and power.
These kinds of things occur even outside secret societies. Each time you recommend one of your friends, or people you know from say your social networking website, club, teams from past jobs, your church group, etc. you’re forming and strengthening your own Inner Ring.
You might not have weird rituals with robes, bells, and statutes, but what about hanging out with friends watching the game, or over beers? Aren’t those also Inner Rings?
There’s nothing wrong with any of these until they become conflicts of interest.
A bit of food for thought.
posted by Anonymous on 1-28-2008 at 5:50 am
Men have had “secret societies” forever. Poor things have been so insecure ever since they figured out that the vast majority of them are superfluous to the continuation of the species. So they extended the concept of the “boys only” treehouse to make themselves feel more important, and from there pretty much effed up the world. We really should consider neutering most of them at birth. ;)
posted by Lisa on 1-28-2008 at 6:21 am
C’mon, guya. Molly has a point!
posted by Lee on 1-28-2008 at 6:59 am
Lisa…
Men just have secret societies to make sure that they continue to make more money than women.
Plus, men never call in sick because their privates are bleeding.
posted by Jason on 1-28-2008 at 7:01 am
search out jay-z, nas and kayne west and their connections to the illuminati on youtube
posted by crucial on 1-28-2008 at 7:01 am
@Jason…that’s pretty harsh.
I’d like you to try balancing a successful career and also being a woman. It’s no easy task.
Talking about “bleeding privates” to degrade women really lowers you to a primitive species. Where do you think you came from?
posted by Bre on 1-28-2008 at 7:46 am
What is WRONG with you people???? If all you’re going to do is come on and insult others than just stay away. Monday morning (or any for that matter) is not for pseudo-intellectual pissing contests. If men AND women stopped playing the “I’m better than you because I have a (insert sexual organ) and you don’t” game we’d all be better off.
Just be nice, makes life a lot more fun.
posted by Jessica on 1-28-2008 at 8:24 am
I think the answers that came to Molly’s assertion that there was a lack of “ALL-WOMEN’S secret societies” (emphasis mine) show a lack of attention.
That said, I’ve always thought that men needed them more b/c we women can bond with one another and let our hair down much more easily than men can…
Besides, as every man knows, there must be some kind of secret society going on in the ladies’ room.
posted by Therese on 1-28-2008 at 8:26 am
You forgot the ‘HeMan Woman Haters Club’ haha
posted by JaneM on 1-28-2008 at 8:27 am
Molly W. is (light heartedly) speaking her opinion and so many guys get all catty about it. MEOW.
@ 2,3,8,25; take your toys and go home.
posted by mrs.djs on 1-28-2008 at 8:28 am
Molly, this is how things were for hundreds of years. How many of these societies withheld membership from certain ethnic groups, races, etc? Things are improving but it all takes time. Try not to be angry about the past. Just work to change the future ;-)
posted by JaneM on 1-28-2008 at 8:37 am
I think we’re forgetting the most important point here, that William Howard Taft was once naked, in a coffin, telling people about his past sexual experiences.
Eeeewww.
posted by Lauren on 1-28-2008 at 9:01 am
Women don’t have them because they are catty bitches, and would never get along together long enough to make it through one meeting.
Plus guys need a place so they can complain about their stupid wives.
posted by Shaggy on 1-28-2008 at 9:31 am
You forgot about The Furries…now there are some crazy, world-sculpting conspirators!
posted by neB on 1-28-2008 at 9:34 am
One of the more interesting articles and yet has one of the most insanely childish ‘comment’ sections… makes me think that ‘mental floss’ is finally gaining popularity in high schools…
posted by Jen on 1-28-2008 at 9:44 am
To Molly –
Speaking as a life-long male, I think women entirely have one big secret society.
C’mon men — how many of you really understand them?
[thank you, tip your wait-staff. i'll be here all week....]
posted by WizardBoy on 1-28-2008 at 9:50 am
Poor Molly… little chiquita’s getting beaten up…
I found the bit on the Brotherhood of Death pretty amusing. It seems like a sick joke, and yet it is all too true…
posted by Verity on 1-28-2008 at 10:00 am
re: Molly w and the lack of women’s societies.
there are 2 reasons there are no women’s societies on this list.
1. all were founded by men trying to get away from nagging wives/mothers
and
2. Women can’t keep a secret anyway
posted by cyvoid on 1-28-2008 at 10:03 am
Not secret societies, but societies with secrets. Like Scientology, or even the LDS Church. You can’t learn the details until you’re a member.
Nothing to see here. Move along.
posted by Frank Booth on 1-28-2008 at 10:09 am
Wow. I thought this was a meeting place for intellectuals not the intellectually challenged. All this boys vs girls crap is kind of disturbing frankly. Not so much the more light hearted jabs but the downright ugliness some people went straight to is really pathetic. BTW Jason I’m pretty sure if your privates were bleeding you would in fact call in sick followed screaming and crying for someone to take you to the hospital since your’s aren’t supposed to bleed.
posted by Lisa H on 1-28-2008 at 10:31 am
First of all Freemasonry isn’t “unisexed”, It’s still mainly a male only organization.
The Order of the Eastern Star, Daughters of the Nile, and Job’s Daughters are allied organizations with freemasonry that have female members.
As far as the LDS church being a “society with Secrets”, that’s a load of crappola. Their teachings are pretty wide open, with the exception of their temple rituals. Which are pretty lame from what I gather.
posted by Fastmasonslc on 1-28-2008 at 10:37 am
Great Article.
posted by LAZ DAD on 1-28-2008 at 11:06 am
Jessica, #28, you are officially my favorite.
Pretty Sweet CS Lewis reference #22
posted by Ashley on 1-28-2008 at 11:28 am
@ Molly #1: NO GURLZ ALLOWD!
posted by Moon on 1-28-2008 at 11:29 am
Lisa, you can try to convince yourself all you want but you would be useless without men. men and women need each other, and it’s never gonna change regardless of how bitter, spiteful and resentful you are.
Boys clubs to make themselves feel important? Laughable. I notice how the only sense of self-importance women like yourself can obtain is through shit-talking men. How’s that for irony?
posted by CDO on 1-28-2008 at 11:49 am
Sorry, Freemasons do not accept women, not into Blue Lodge. Those that do are considered clandestine and are not recognized by the Grand Lodge of that state.
I have the utmost respect for anyone who wishes to pursue the teachings of Freemasonry, but my promise to the fraternity excludes women, and I am honor bound to abide by it.
posted by Michael Allen on 1-28-2008 at 11:54 am
SPY magazine did a great story on the Bohemian Club back in the 1980’s. Considering SPY’s usual muckraking style and love of targeting the big guys, the article was pretty well-balanced (though they did interview the local hippies who were upset about the environmental impact of the activities, or some such rubbish). What a great story.
As for women in secret societies, well, I’ll settle for the “girls’ nights out” that I have with my friends. Believe me, there’s enough gossip, networking, rowdy behavior, and conspiratorial planning that goes on during those evenings to match any old boy’s club!
posted by Kimberly on 1-28-2008 at 12:10 pm
Wow, I came to this site thinking it was a place for intelligent people to read interesting things but the amount of rife sexism in these comments convinces me that I was mistaken.
posted by Fiz on 1-28-2008 at 12:34 pm
nourishment . . . in each answer there is truth and from each truth there is deception, this ensures that learning is continuous an’that ascention is earned…to not find anything in the innermost circle of the onion, one does not necessarily assume that there is nothing there, perhaps the tools we are using are too crude, thus the search continues and the cycle repeats, the learning however is layered an’ not forgotten, this is called progress through knowledge … to assume that there is nothing there is to contradict our being here an’ to give up on the one cognitive moment that all in life share an’ ultimately must ask of itself “why am i here?’… it is our existential drive . . . 8O ) the base of the pyramid is our primal an’ primitive selves, layers are shed until we ascend to it’s peak, after many incarnations those of us who reach the peak of the pyramid would have learned love through duty and service…it is only then that light becomes our next destination . . .8O )
posted by anchell on 1-28-2008 at 12:59 pm
Thanks for the props, Ashley.
I just popped back to see if anything had improved. *sigh*
I would imagine that our bloggers are reading the reactions with a massive amount of disgust. I know I am.
Seriously people, stop attacking each other! Craigslist is for anonymous mud-slinging. Let’s try and salvage the integrity of the Floss.
Kisses, loves to you all!!!
posted by Jessica on 1-28-2008 at 1:29 pm
As far as groups that only accept women and have meetings that have secrets and passwords (which are secret even from the male spouses – spice? – whatever)…look no further than PEO. I have no idea what it stands for, as the missus won’t tell. But they raise money for women’s education. And even run their own college! Google shall reveal all you need to know……
posted by who what? on 1-28-2008 at 2:03 pm
All i can say is “crap”.
posted by Jared Probst on 1-28-2008 at 2:12 pm
“crap” as in “Oh crap!”.
posted by Jared Probst on 1-28-2008 at 2:13 pm
I know a lot of Masons very well. Trust me, they’re not taking over the world. Their meetings are generally an excuse to get out of the house twice a month and go drinking.
And they do a lot of charity work. (Note: Shriners are a division of the Masons as well)
posted by janice on 1-28-2008 at 2:28 pm
Molly W. This is why men start and belong to secret societies.
Neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine cited a female 20,000 words per day-vs.-male 7,000 words per day comparison in her 2006 book The Female Brain.
Men simply need a forum for productive discourse where the wind isn’t blowing through a woman’s gaping maw every second of the conversation.
That’s the real secret of all of them.
posted by connor reed on 1-28-2008 at 2:39 pm
Maybe the reason there are no “all women groups” is the fact women cannot ever be a group.
Bickers, cliques, and fights would occur in the first week. :-P
posted by Anon234 on 1-28-2008 at 6:20 pm
Women have secret societies, usually called covens, and reguarded by many in majority religions as evil.
posted by Dody Mitchell on 1-28-2008 at 7:13 pm
Scientology should have gone on that list. Its a CULT.
posted by mookey on 1-28-2008 at 7:22 pm
Numbers 47 and 55 have it right. Women cannot join “regular” A.F. & A.M. lodges, at least not in Illinois for sure. Some “irregular” lodges in France exist that do, but most don’t.
Still, there are plenty of events and groups that Masons and their wives participate in together. It’s just kind of nice to get out and be a guy with the guys for awhile.
I also appreciate what we do as a lodge and what the Shrine does for the general public.
posted by Dan on 1-28-2008 at 7:26 pm
No Molly,
There are no women in these secret societies because we all know women cant keep secrets.
posted by James C on 1-28-2008 at 7:32 pm
Where’s Xenu and scientology?
posted by Will on 1-28-2008 at 7:52 pm
sexism is ridiculous. give it a break. it’s in your face whether you know about it or not. think of how women wear high heels or grow their nails out long. that shows in itself that women are more vulnerable than men in the sense that they aren’t fully mobile in high heels or that their fingers are so delicate they can’t use them extensively. if you really want to do something about it then do something. don’t just bitch.
posted by ya on 1-28-2008 at 7:55 pm
What about the vatican?????
posted by john on 1-28-2008 at 7:57 pm
Too bad the first comment didn’t make any sense at all.
posted by Who Cares? on 1-28-2008 at 8:04 pm
Ahh, well…the war of the sexes will not end. However, as eluded to earlier, (i.e. the ‘onion’ proverb) it is indeed a facet of man to search for and secure an elitist position of meaning. Whether or not that position is of substance, well…guess it’s up to those who write epitaphs/eulogies.
For whatever reasons there might be for few (none?) of these “secret” societies having women in them, or any that constitute primarily of the fairer sex, I can certainly say that nothing prevents them from having such, and I can only assume that either 1). there are no women’s secret societies because there is no desire or need on their part for one or, 2). there are no women’s secret societies because they are, in fact, still secret.
Whereas in the past, men prevented women from voting, owning land, and leading lives separate from men, I feel it honest to say that in this day and age — as much as some may want to whine about the condition of our world — there is no such limitation placed on them now. So, Molly…if I were you, if there really is no secret society just for the female of the species, seems like that’s a calling for you to resolve that deficiency, wouldn’t you agree?
posted by Allen Brand on 1-28-2008 at 8:05 pm
i think i’m gonna vomit. :(
posted by anonymous on 1-28-2008 at 8:05 pm
Opus Dei is not a sect. It’s not a cult. It’s not even a secret society. And has never attempted to be so. Anyone can enter opus dei as a numerary as long as you’re a practicing Catholic. I’m personally a Catholic, not a member of Opus Fei in any way, and I can tell you right now that the remainder of the Catholic church doesn’t consider it in any way seperate. They simply are very strict about doctrine because they believe everyone is somehow called to holiness. Another falacy in this article is the claim that members practice “the mortificaction of the flesh” flagelating themselves. Where did you get that from!? I know a bunch of numeraries, none of them do any of that. Too much Dan Brown son. Is what Opus Dei demands of followers excessive or exaggerated? Probably, but that doesn’t make them a secret society. I hope you documented yourself a little better about the other “Secret” Societies. It’s definitely less appealing if you say it like it is… But please.
posted by Brklyn on 1-28-2008 at 8:19 pm
!!!!!!
What about the Contraceptionalists?
!!!!!!!
posted by SIster Mary Earpull on 1-28-2008 at 8:29 pm
Women just can’t keep a secret, simple enough. :)
posted by Anon on 1-28-2008 at 8:34 pm
There are some hilarious, pseudochauvinist trolls posted here. But even more hilarious: the females are actually taking the bait.
posted by Doug on 1-28-2008 at 8:34 pm
Women can keep secrets fine, not all of us are unintelectual idiots that would rather read womens day than a good thick book.
Men form secret societies because they want to, because they need their space, and because their wives wanted them out of the house so they could get their space. If by chance it is because they want a feeling of superiority or power, then women don’t need them. We find our sense of power in the things we do every day, working and raising a family, looking after our husbands when they need us. Which doesn’t mean men don’t get their own sense power from their everyday work, it just means that some men want something different, so they go after it. Good on them for it.
If you want your own secret society, form one, it may not be as big and well known as the freemasons, but what does that matter? Its not the popularity of the secret society, its the society itself. Grow up and stop whinging. I know 18 year olds that whinge less than you do.
posted by Beth M on 1-28-2008 at 8:48 pm
Hey folks,
I know some people are trying to get back on topic, so I am sorry for veering off again.
But I was reading these posts, feeling more and more disheartened, when I realized that I hate feeling disheartened. I also realized that I never feel disheartened when I am doing something constructive. So I decided to take this opportunity to do something constructive. I am finally making a new year’s resolution. My resolution is to do my best to think of ways to be constructive in destructive and depressing situations. I was really tempted to just make a private little resolution, but my resolution says that I have to be constructive, and it is more constructive to ask anyone else if they would like to make the same resolution than it is to keep it to myself. There, a few moments ago I thought I was going to vomit, but I feel loads better already.
posted by anonymous on 1-28-2008 at 8:49 pm
Women’s societies do exist. LSV for a prime example. And remember this list is the “not so secret”. Many other co-eds and strictly female do exist. They just might not be published on this particular site.
And when considering secret societies and any rumors of the placing people in high powers, always remember that it’s not that birds flock together then become of the same feather, but rather that birds of a feather flock together. Like-minded will always form circles of those who appreciate and understand their dreams, desires and lives.
posted by MCTNE on 1-28-2008 at 8:57 pm
C’mon ladies… you’re just all jealous that we have secret clubs that you can’t be part of.
I think it’s great that we can pee in the woods, scratch our nuts and have someone pull our fingers in the company of real men! Plus, we don’t have to hear you cry and whine about meaningless crap!!!
posted by Scott on 1-28-2008 at 9:08 pm
You forgot the Black Knights!! The group of rich, prominent African Americans who conspired to destroy Dave Chapelle.
Members include: Oprah Winfrey, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Bill Cosby, Whoopi Goldberg – plus any other famous black business owner or political figure.
check out chappelletheory.com
posted by Troy in VEGAS! on 1-28-2008 at 9:23 pm
stoopid discush ya’ll
I’m in a secret society that is OMG actually secret- this is how we have managed to take over the world
Col. Sanders was kicked out for f*****g the Queen
posted by jerms on 1-28-2008 at 9:24 pm
Why would women have a secret club? They have no power.
posted by Anon on 1-28-2008 at 9:28 pm
Why would women have secret clubs? They have no power.
posted by Anon on 1-28-2008 at 9:32 pm
nice one!
posted by joel m. reyes on 1-28-2008 at 9:46 pm
Molly W….
women had whichcraft… that scared men to hear about some women having strange power that they didn’t understand, so they burned them… That scared women out of secret societies for the most part…
However, today witchcraft still exists, as evident by hillary clinton’s witch like cackle, foul language, and witchlike attitude.
posted by mike on 1-28-2008 at 9:56 pm
Notice how Dick Cheney is all over these secret societies?
posted by Anonymous on 1-28-2008 at 10:18 pm
Colonel Sanders was a Freemason?!!!
Brings new meaning to that “secret blend of 11 herbs and spices” in his chicken. Exactly WHAT have we been eating all these years…? We have a right to know! Full Disclosure!! Conspiracy theory CALL TO ACTION!!!
posted by Cluckin Chicken on 1-28-2008 at 10:46 pm
Ugh. Hey, you boys (or girls) who get off on causing grief, why don’t you actually try to read and realize that 4 zillion asses already said that “women can’t keep secrets.” If you’re going to try to be insulting, at least be a little original. And, for the rest of us, the best we can do is just ignore their sterling witticisms. Take care.
posted by AK on 1-28-2008 at 11:05 pm
has anyone else noticed that female secret societies are not here perhaps because they are still secret?
also, sororities might fill their gap. maybe naked pillowfights really do take place
posted by brad on 1-28-2008 at 11:11 pm
The masons are a society with secrets not a secret society. Those secrets are also known to the public but masons them selves just can’t talk about them. Its just game of words we like to play.
posted by Anonymous on 1-28-2008 at 11:40 pm
I belong to one of the largest truly secret societies, the Apathists. We control the world with the power apathy shown by our rank and file members. Without apathy, the Bonesmen, Masons, BilderLateralBohemian Commission and other nefarious elites, could not rule the world.
We control through omission, rather than commission, its easier that way.
posted by Jack Sprat on 1-29-2008 at 12:51 am
Anonymous
posted by MUDKIP on 1-29-2008 at 2:53 am
wow, if I had the choice, I’d take this whole childish men vs women argument and bin it, and then bin each society on that list. Nice post though, thanks.
posted by rupert bear on 1-29-2008 at 5:12 am
i thought this post about societe generale issue.. LOL to me.. :D
how about zionist is it secret society?
posted by gudlow on 1-29-2008 at 7:58 am
You DO NOT talk about Fight Club….
posted by Tyler Durden on 1-29-2008 at 8:30 am
I think Curves is a womens only club.
posted by r on 1-29-2008 at 8:38 am
What about the bildeburg group?!
posted by Ryan on 1-29-2008 at 8:45 am
Opus Dei a secret Society??
Mortification of the flesh???
Spike chains??, cold showers??, flagellation?
That is a little bit of science fiction (or medieval fiction) but Opus Dei is nothing like that. I personally don’t like them too much, but they are far from being a sect or perform rituals like that.
posted by JPGarcia on 1-29-2008 at 9:07 am
It was the Illuminati that infiltrated the Freemasons. All those secret societies have the same leadership. Look at the names of those who financed and started them. Every war the Unided States has fought in the Twentieth century can be laid at the door of the Council on Foreign Relations. It looks like this guy is an apologists for the secret societies. He has completely misrepresented their purpose. They are not out to create a capitalists NWO. They are out to create a one world socialists dictatorship. They have financed the socialist fascist and the socialist communist from their inceptions. Communism was a creation of Illuminati. I would sudgest this person do some reading.
Sudgested authors; John Robison, Nesta Webster and Eustus Mullins.
To answer gudlow’s question about whether Zionism was a secret society. No, but the leaders of Zionists control all the secret societies
posted by ben222 on 1-29-2008 at 9:41 am
Fnord.
posted by Loki on 1-29-2008 at 9:47 am
NWO is coming soon…
but until then, I am trying to get a higher rank in call of duty 4. anyone here play that? ha ha ha. its fantastic.
So, until these secret groups make everyone take the mark of the beast, have a great day.
posted by jay from miami on 1-29-2008 at 10:34 am
While getting caught up in the “Sex War”, you all have missed the fact that these groups control the largest influential organizations in the world. Huge corporations, religious foundations, and of course the government. The decisions made by these club members affects us all. You just don’t realize it.
posted by Jollymon on 1-29-2008 at 10:59 am
Is there a online membership form?
posted by Randy on 1-29-2008 at 11:00 am
The Freemasons aren’t a secret society. Things that make an organization or fraternity a secret society would be:
1. Meeting places are kept secret – Freemasons mark their buildings and even have times posted as to when ther are open.
2. A secret society’s memberships is exclusive, you have to be chosen – To become a freemason all you have to do is ask.
3. Secret societies keep hidden there members names and affiliations -Freemasons do not hide, surely you have seen the shriner’s in your town’s local parades.
There are just a few examples, Freemasony is merely a non-colegiate fraternity…….
Anybody that would think otherwise is probably just misinformed or a correspondent for FOX News…..
Also, we freemasons have no idea where the Holy Grail is either……
Jeez…
posted by Dan on 1-29-2008 at 1:21 pm
www dot pehi dot eu
i say no more
posted by paul on 1-29-2008 at 3:11 pm
all these 6 have one thing in common: greed for money.
posted by iluminati on 1-29-2008 at 3:32 pm
lol i want to be a freemason
posted by Marvin Kilburn Mooney on 1-29-2008 at 4:41 pm
Wonderful article! Pity that the commentary got so snarktastic.
posted by kitsana_d on 1-30-2008 at 5:41 pm
My father (deceased), my paternal grandfather (deceased) and maternal uncle all discouraged me from being a Mason. They NEVER explained why. O
Several other Masons wanted me to join. Could my total deafness have been a great hinder due to secret society activity that requires each new person be blind folded?
posted by Harold Robert Case on 1-30-2008 at 8:07 pm
My father (deceased), my paternal grandfather (deceased) and maternal uncle all discouraged me from being a Freemason. They NEVER explained why.
Several other Freemasons wanted me to join. Could my total deafness have been a great hinder due to secret society activity that requires each new person be blind folded?
posted by Harold Robert Case on 1-30-2008 at 8:08 pm
the free-PERRY-masons?
srry its a joke, that i’m required to say every time i see or hear anything with masons in it.
posted by Alicia on 1-30-2008 at 9:04 pm
women have secret societies too. ours are just different.
any time i meet another girl who knows what ‘hope in a jar’ is, i know she’s in the same cult as me.
also, mention ’semi-annual sale’ around a group of women and watch the ones who look up.
oh yes, we have our own secret societies.
posted by amywithlemon on 1-31-2008 at 4:20 pm
You also forgot “The Pentaveret,” who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
Probably because they’re your publisher….
posted by Brian on 2-4-2008 at 7:36 am
The Freemasons also have youth divisions. The girls organization is known as Rainbow Girls. I can’t recall what the boys organization was called.
I was a Rainbow Girl briefly. I thought we’d be participating in pagan rituals and learning the secrets of the universe or something. We just wore dresses and did really boring things. The handbook was also full of 1940’s brainwashery about being a good housewife and keeping the home fires burning while the men went off to war. I was utterly disappointed.
Once a year the boys and the girls got together and had a big state convention. The girls all had to wear hideous satin formal gowns. It was like a sea of bridesmaids. I didn’t stick around long enough to participate. Just the thought was enough to frighten me off.
I hope they don’t come hunt me down for revealing these amazing secrets.
posted by Lisa H on 2-4-2008 at 6:25 pm
Informative post.
and thnx the reply Anonymous
posted by jojo on 2-4-2008 at 11:26 pm
Every vasectomised man I know(at least
4) has taken time off work for bleeding privates.
Many women routinely go to work when theirs are “bleeding.”
posted by little gator on 2-6-2008 at 1:08 pm
Posting to belittle Molly.
posted by Jon on 2-6-2008 at 7:06 pm
Secret societies and those that expose them…If they are secret, then they can’t have much influence on the reality of our lives. Do those who expose them seem to be trying to strike fear in the hearts of non-members? Is it to make us jealous,to spur us to action, or to intimidate us?
I belong to several secret societies, so secret they have no other members lol
posted by Lisa on 2-7-2008 at 10:09 am
Apparently, Lisa H did not pay attention when she was a Rainbow Girl. I am a Rainbow Girl (majority member) and I live the teachings I learned in Rainbow every day. I will make this world a better place by doing so.
posted by Dana on 2-8-2008 at 8:35 am
Uhh…guys, men have privates that ‘bleed’ too, you know. Speak to any urologist or proctologist. Hell, speak to the wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends. Men borrow their supplies but never talk about it, out of shame. Duh.
posted by Rick in Toronto on 2-8-2008 at 12:12 pm
am want to be a rich mane so want to join the cult
posted by tabe nfontem on 2-9-2008 at 10:56 pm
i belong to the uber secret society, so secret i can’t even tell you about it
posted by protected on 2-18-2008 at 3:49 pm
Lisa H, Rainbow Girls is an amazing organization that teaches young girls many important lessons, like respect for your family, yourself, your friends, and the importance of charity and service, and even though you had a bad experince, and most likely looked horrible in the dress, the rest of us members (I’ve been a proud Rainbow girl for over 8 years) have had an amazing experince. Please do not say we are boring
posted by Katie on 2-20-2008 at 10:25 pm
The article forgot one of the largest cults of all…Amway. They lure you in with promises of 20lb bags of potato chips, then they brainwash you. It’s like Scientology, only more insidious!
posted by Brad Brown on 2-22-2008 at 10:51 pm
that was funny, it started as an innocent comment- and everyone attacked her. poor thing. not to mention it was just a silly article on not so secret societis-not come official government documentation about underground associations.
silly people
give peace a chance
posted by kate on 2-28-2008 at 2:22 am
ok seriously enough about privates please
posted by laughsoftly on 2-28-2008 at 3:32 pm
The Curves comment killed me. Well played. As for the rest of the sexist drivel – loutish behavior is incredibly unbecoming.
posted by clever on 2-29-2008 at 10:52 am
Oh my gawd! Does, like, that Pope guy have the same fashion designer as the KKK? Somebody needs have a chat with the stylist!
posted by Ella on 4-7-2008 at 1:32 pm
i really like the episode of mental floss magazines,please keep it up.ade
posted by AROLOYE on 5-10-2008 at 12:02 pm
the majority of “secret societies”
(or rather societies with secrets we should say. if they where secret societies we wouldnt know about them) have sister organizations. not all, but alot of them do.
the more popular would be OES, heroines of jericho, daughter of the nile, daughters of job. and the list goes on.
posted by hj on 5-20-2008 at 11:46 am
Ella-
That was the most retarded comment ever.
posted by Hobbes on 6-20-2008 at 11:58 pm
Women don’t have secret societies because they can’t keep secrets. ;)
posted by Bob on 6-30-2008 at 9:07 am
I will remain gender neutral and say that as a result of the hatred on the overwhelming majority of these posts, I am both anti-male and female. F* the world.
posted by Orange on 7-8-2008 at 5:03 pm
I will remain gender neutral and say that as a result of the hatred on the overwhelming majority of these posts, I am both anti-male and anti-female. F* the world. But right on Jack Sprat.
posted by Orange on 7-8-2008 at 5:07 pm
@Lauren – HAHAHAHA!! That is hilarious!!
posted by McCobb on 7-10-2008 at 12:37 pm
You forgot the Stonecutters
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
posted by McCobb on 7-10-2008 at 12:45 pm
I’m not conspiracy theorist, but I think Bohemian Grove is pretty creepy, and I can understand how someone could make a mental connection between burning child-shaped effigies to owl-shaped “mascots” and Satanism. I don’t think it’s unreasonable. And I believe the “homosexual activity” people assume goes on there might be due to Nixon’s comments about the festivities, which can be heard on Youtube. He might not have meant it so literally, but it’s not unreasonable for people to understand it that way.
posted by m on 7-10-2008 at 6:18 pm
“I think it’s great that we can pee in the woods, scratch our nuts and have someone pull our fingers in the company of real men! Plus, we don’t have to hear you cry and whine about meaningless crap!!! ”
So, Scott, what you’re saying is that men consider peeing outdoors, scratching their genitals and farting in one another’s company “meaningful.”
If you are a representation of the intellectual discourse engaged in by your gender during your “secret” meetings, then let me thank you on behalf of all women for NOT inviting us. Now, you’ll excuse me while I meet with my women friends to discuss politics, the economy, our jobs, our families and the environment and other “meaningless crap.”
Now run along…and don’t forget to tap-tap or you’ll leave pee stains on your underwear.
NOTE: To all men with an IQ in the triple digits and a sensibility in the 21st century who find posts like Scott’s an embarrassment to your gender, please note this post is not directed toward you.
posted by S on 7-29-2008 at 11:42 am
Few of these little quips have any real foundation. How is anybody to poll the number of secret societies for each gender? And why has every second or third man to post degraded himself to child status? And does it count if I know three people who try and reenact the Order of Water Buffalo from the Flintstones? Because I do. And if that does pass as a secret society, then how are we to tell that more secret societies are a good thing?
I may be 133 posts late, but Molly W. started all the sexism. Blame her. Move on.
posted by Will on 8-13-2008 at 8:08 am
This is really sad. This is the 21 century. Women work, even with their “bleeding parts” (I still have to punch in 8 hours, everyday). Men don’t have to degrade women to be powerful. Women, in turn, don’t need to be considered perfect, pretty wives to be happy.
I hope everyone who has contributed to this ‘debate’ is happy with themselves.
posted by not important on 9-25-2008 at 8:59 pm
I am really disappointed in many of the posters here. I was just going to close down the site and move on, but I may as well put in my 2 cents.
I really can’t believe that we’re still having discussion (seemingly since the beginning of time)about who’s better: Men or Women. NEITHER! OKAY? NEITHER IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER.
1)My husband will gladly tell you that he talks 10x more in one day than I do in a week–So what?
2)When he thinks about the job I did as a full-time Mother/wife/homemaker/volunteer he shakes his head wondering how I ever did it all; giving 100% every day.
3)I look at the work my husband has done for so many years that allowed me to stay home with our son and daughter and to make our home a haven for all of us. I am eternally grateful to him–and all men–who are able to give this to their wife and children–thank you.
4)When the kids were grown I went back to finish my college and get a job. I never cashed a check, but happily put it into our joint account. I was thrilled to be able to help out with the finances, just as my spouse helped me to be the best mother I could.
5)He has never, ever had to ‘ask’ to go out someplace; I told him when we got married that I never wanted it to feel like a prison for either of us, so we give each other plenty of space. That way, neither of us feels we’re having to ‘get away from each other.’
6)Just as important, my husband sees absolutely no difference between men and women as human beings; he utterly believes in equality, and, HONORS the differences between men and women in physical and emotional ways.
7) I feel the same way. Men are crucial to a woman’s happiness and vice versa* They compliment one another like peanut butter and jelly :) *with the exception of gays and lesbians, of course.
Look, please don’t label women as ‘unable to keep a secret’, too chatty, or resentful toward men. I know there are some, certainly, but lumping people into one category doesn’t help.
Men are capable of being wonderful, productive and wise humans; women are capable of being wonderful, productive and wise humans. Period.
Peace to all,
Tess
posted by Tess on 10-1-2008 at 4:46 pm
Stupid. I will henceforth stick to the articles and avoid this ridiculous discourse.
Embarrassing.
posted by jay dolen on 10-3-2008 at 6:22 pm
R’s comment was amazing. Geez, can’t anyone take a joke around here? So uptight!!!
posted by Billy on 10-27-2008 at 5:51 pm
Here’s a society that is female member only – the only way you can join online & come to our events is if another FCW Society member vouches for you …
FCW Society!!
We’re on Facebook – so I guess we’re not that secret!! Nor do we want to be … we want everyone to know about FCW!!
posted by trickydame on 11-4-2008 at 9:09 am
If I may paraphrase the greatest philosopher of our time, Bender the robot-
I’m gonna start my own secret society, with blackjack and hookers…in fact, forget the secret society!
posted by Mickie on 11-15-2008 at 9:00 pm
There are smart women and not so smart women, as well as smart and not so smart men. Neither gender wins in the brains department, IMO. That said, men worldwide hold a disproportionate amount of power compared to women, and it’s been that way since time out of mind. If women want this to change, women need to learn what it means to actually work together and be united, and not take each other down over petty stuff or act like petty people. Honestly, I was disappointed in Sarah Palin bc she came off as being a vain snot rather than as a legitimate Vice Presidential candidate. That’s what we have to stop, or women aren’t going to equal men for quite awhile….
posted by JFB on 11-17-2008 at 6:54 pm
@Bre’s “I’d like you to try balancing a successful career and also being a woman. It’s no easy task.” Does that mean you’re putting aside being a woman while at work?
Men don’t try to balance a career against being a man. Rather, they’ll strive to look and act manly while at work or at play; it’s not separate.
posted by RH on 11-27-2008 at 11:45 am
We need to get past the Men vs. Women thing; as a world; we need each other to perpetuate the race, & produce a new generation. Women don’t have the market cornered on being devious, & scheming; no more than Men do; in fact both genders do quite well at it.
As for the Secret Societies; they are out there; there are women’s groups; several of my Aunt’s (& Mom) were members of the “Rebekkah’s” lodge; which are associated with the Masons; My mom talked to me about most everything; except what went on in the Lodge; she was quite tight-lipped about activities within the walls of the group.
Note- Molly; you opened yourself up with your initial remark; several of the other ladies perpetuated the grief with other “male-bashing” comments; I understand why many women are angry, & bitter about men; but 90% of you anger could be avoided if you didn’t repeatedly pick the same asshole-type of men in your life; if some joker treats you like dirt; next time look for his totally opposite. And once you become angry, & bitter; what decent, good man’s going to want you anyways. Same applies to angry, bitter men.
posted by Steven on 11-28-2008 at 12:29 am
Throughout the centuries women have continuously been credited with the powers of suggestion and the ability to manipulate conversation and process.
If it is a common belief that women cannot keep secrets (as many of you seem to believe), I imagine that’s because thats exactly what you’re supposed to think. After all its not a secret society if its common knowledge.
Women do in fact have secret societies, but entry is not based on kin or friendship. They are based on knowledge, power, strength, caring and an ability to make sacrifices so that together you can achieve more than you would on your own. Women too value self improvement and realise that the path to that is challenge, strike and return.
posted by Amy on 12-12-2008 at 3:32 am
There are alot of women who are good people have posted offering sensible comments, such as Tess above, but unfortunately they seem to be buried by the vast majority of vicious, man haters.
I try to have good relationships with women, truth is I seem to be able to talk to women better than men, but the majority of women don’t want that. They have the attitude that we are all violent and rapists. They have created laws, child support, etc, because they think we should all pay for the inequalities of the past, which we had no control over.
They want to keep playing the victims because that is all they have ever done, despite conditions for women never being better. This is what I believe.
posted by Mark N on 1-23-2009 at 6:58 pm
Why is there no mention of the “He-man Women Haters Club”?
posted by Sam on 1-27-2009 at 2:10 pm
I liked the tap-tap pee-pee in the man-panties comment, and even the wind blowing through the woman’s gaping maw comment. But I found the most insightful comments to be those regarding the exclusion of different races, creeds and ages, the lure of inner circles, the need to belong and the burning of witches at the stake!
In my opinion the best society that could be formed, secret or otherwise, would include ANYONE who prefers to “use their words” (as our parents used to say), and who believes in do unto others vs. do unto your bank account.
I also think “You can’t have one without the other” is about as concise as I need to get with the whole battle of the sexes thing. At least until someone mentions Al & Peg Bundy. At that point there WILL be electronic arm wrestling!
posted by Shannon on 2-24-2009 at 1:39 pm