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Last summer I found myself with a dozen pumpkins and no plans for what to do with them. I ended up giving some away, and using the rest for porch decorations. After a couple of hard freezes, they were ready for the compost heap from which they sprouted about a year ago. I retrieved some seeds (a messy job after the pumpkins go soft) because I have real plans for them this year. I’m going to experiment with geometric pumpkins!
The first time you see square watermelons, your instinct may shout “Photoshop!” but they are really square. Not a genetic variant, these are made the old-fashioned way. They are grown in boxes, and take the cubic shape gradually as they grow. It’s a labor-intensive process, but the end result fits nicely in a refrigerator, and wastes no space in the truck. And they won’t roll around! They’ve been growing them in Japan for years, because space is at a premium. The watermelons are at premium prices, too.
To achieve such results, you have to have a proper box, made of tempered glass or durable plastic. Transparent boxes are best, or else you won’t know exactly when to harvest, or even worse, waste your equipment on a rotten fruit! K-mac Plastics sells boxes especially designed to grow watermelons in, complete with proper drainage.
Keep reading for even stranger shapes
If you can grow cubic watermelons, why not other shapes? The next phase would be pyramid-shaped watermelons. And if you can grow pyramids, why not face-shaped watermelons? It’s been done.
The idea can be carried over to other types of garden produce. Have you ever heard of a cubecumber? The shape is even more impressive when you slice them for unsuspecting guests.
You can order a kit that helps you to grow your own square tomatoes. Grow Big Strange and Nasty Plants has five projects for kids, with a giant pumpkin project and an insect-eating plant as well as a cube tomato kit.
You can also buy molds for your garden. Vegiforms offers two-piece plastic molds with faces on them. The garden elf shape and the “pickle puss” shape work with eggplants, zucchini, and other roundish vegetables. The diamond and heart shapes are longer, and produce the shape when you slice the cucumber or squash. There’s even a mold in the shape of an ear of corn, so you can disguise one vegetable as another!
Square pumpkins have been done. John Muller won the “most beautiful pumpkin” award for his box-shaped pumpkin in 2005.
The greenhouse at Disney EPCOT in Florida grows vegetables in the shape of (what else) Mickey Mouse.
This photo, supposedly of “miraculous” roots that were pulled from the ground in the shape of two people, has been making the rounds for quite some time, most recently at the Daily Mail. Skeptics say they couldn’t have grown that way, that they must’ve been carved. But the filament roots seem real. Once you know how it’s done, it seems simple (but isn’t). With the right mold (possibly dolls), the real miracle is getting the roots to grow so large!
I saw instructions at one time about getting a pumpkin to grow inside a square milk carton, but it seems you would have to support the outside to keep the plastic from bending. Hmm. I may experiment with getting a tomato to grow in the shape of the inside of a jar first. However I decide to do it, rest assured I will take pictures for you!
Comments (11)
Comment
Man. I love Epcot. That ride in The Land has tons of amazing agricultural stuff in addition to their mouse-shaped pumpkins and melons. I’ve always been fascinated by the plants that they keep alive without ever planting them in earth by watering them directly at the roots. Cool, cool stuff.
posted by Ashley on 1-29-2008 at 9:22 am
The Simpsons episode where they visit Japan features a square watermelon. I think he spends like $150 on it, and then it goes back to being round and drops to the ground.
I also saw an episode on the Food Network or Discovery or something about Disney and their mad scientist greenhouses. Oh that Disney!!!
posted by Lauren on 1-29-2008 at 9:58 am
this post just makes me think of Bonsai Kittens.
hehehehehe
posted by the creature on 1-29-2008 at 10:14 am
I’m glad to see the Mickey Pumpkin. I always go “visit” it when I’m in Epcot. They do alot of cool stuff at the Land in Epcot…and most of the stuff they grow goes straight to the restaurants.
posted by beth on 1-29-2008 at 10:19 am
Welcome to the wonderful world of fruit & veggie bondage. Conform or die!
I thought tubular eggs represented the acme of human development. What next, kitten in a bottle?
posted by Tom on 1-29-2008 at 11:13 am
Next, Tom? Check out Bonzai Kitten.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonsai_Kitten
posted by Miss Cellania on 1-29-2008 at 11:19 am
“Transparent boxes are best, or else you won’t know exactly when to harvest, or even worse, waste your equipment on a rotten fruit!”
Um… yeah. Plus that whole light requirement issue.
posted by Bittergreen on 1-29-2008 at 12:22 pm
I had noted the reference to Bonsai Kittens the creature made, but bonsai means trimming and sculpting to me.
The bottle kitty probably is something I had previously heard of that oozed out of my subconscious. Anyway, thanks for the circuitous introduction to rotten.com, MC.
posted by Tom on 1-29-2008 at 2:38 pm
I was an intern at The Land in Epcot in 06/07, and got to do a lot of work with the Mickey pumpkins (I actually designed the “Earning My Ears” ribbon visible in the background of the picture). The type of pumpkin we used is called “Cinderella Pumpkin,” and is the same type that was used as a model by the Disney artists when they were designing Cinderella’s coach. We also did Mickey-shaped cucumbers (like the “Cube-cumbers” above), watermelon and long-handled dipper gourds. It was a really fun thing to do, and the Guests loved it when we handed them a Mickey-shaped slice of cucumber.
posted by Harry on 1-29-2008 at 3:29 pm
This has got to be the dumbest thing ever. Look at the pictures in this post. The first guy has an embarrassed grin on his face, the other guy looks like he doesn’t have a clue.
Hahahahaha! Square vegetables! Stupid!
:D
/I’m not counting the Japanese guys in the VERY first picture, because they are ALWAYS too serious, except when they are being outrageously goofy.
posted by Moon on 1-29-2008 at 7:38 pm
Perhaps I’m just twisted or it’s a “goes without saying”, but given the cultural jokes about cucumbers in the trousers to imply more than what’s there, one would expect an enterprising soul to also inlcude the “trouser snake” mold in with the “cubecumber” and “garden elf” assortment.
posted by Dancer on 1-29-2008 at 9:48 pm