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It’s said that the clothes make the man, but what about the mustache? Does it make the man, or does the man make it? Sort of a “chicken or the egg” question. Here we have three men who are forever linked with their facial hair, and the relationships between the man and the mustache are much more complex than one would think.

Before the Blitz, before the Holocaust, before a patch of hair situated directly above the center of the lip became as much a symbol of evil as the devil’s horns, the mustache worn by Hitler was called the Toothbrush. While Hitler and Charlie Chaplin are its most famous wearers, the Toothbrush has a long history behind it. The ‘stache first came to Europe at the end of the 19th century on Americans, who wore it as a response to Europeans’ beloved primped and pimped Kaiser mustache. Elaborate and ornate was out, streamlined and efficient was in. In terms of personal grooming, the Toothbrush mustache was the assembly line, the steam engine, and the cotton gin all rolled into one, a revolutionary invention that would topple the old ways.
Shortly after its introduction, the Toothbrush was adopted by Hans Koeppen, a Prussian military lieutenant who was something of folk hero, and exploded into German culture. There are conflicting theories as to whether Hitler grew one then to latch onto the trend, or if he trimmed down his Kaiser during the World War I because it didn’t fit under the gas mask he had to wear in the trenches. Either way, by the time he took lead of the Nazi Party, Hitler had grown attached to the Toothbrush and when one of his underlings advised he grow it out “at least to the end of the lips,” he responded, “If it is not the fashion now, it will be later because I wear it.”
Of course, the best laid plans of mustaches and men often go awry. After WWII, the toothbrush was taboo, a hairy scarlet letter, the stylistic equivalent of shouting anti-Semitic slurs in a crowded theater. Today, the mustache belongs to Chaplin and Hitler alone. To grow it to emulate the former, though, still incites all the rage and hatred the world shares for the latter. Hitler was certainly not the only one to wear the noble little hair square, but he made the mustache, burned it into our collective consciousness, and forever ruined it for the rest of us.

Ambrose Everett Burnside wore many hats, but only one style of facial hair. He was Union Army general in the American Civil War, leading successful campaigns in North Carolina and East Tennessee. He was a businessman, serving as president of the Cincinnati and Martinsville Railroad, the Indianapolis and Vincennes Railroad, and the Rhode Island Locomotive Works. He was Governor of Rhode Island for three terms and a Senator for two. He was the first president of the National Rifle Association.
Despite all this though, many of us only remember one thing about him: sideburns are named after him.
With Burnsides, the man and the hair (yes, technically it’s not a mustache, so sue me) are so intertwined that it’s hard to tell where one ends and one begins. Burnsides’ sideburns are untouchable, the archetypal chops from which sprang everyone from Elvis to Luke Perry. He defined the style (the exact configuration of hair he wore, basically a full beard with a clean-shaven chin, is now known as friendly mutton chops), and, in turn, it defined him. Burnsides, you see, wasn’t all that great at all the jobs he held. He was a mediocre businessman, did nothing of note in political office and despite some success on the battlefield, he was disliked by Abraham Lincoln and hated by the rest of the military brass. Those wonderful whiskers saved his legacy, though. Every man (and, unfortunately, woman) who lets a patch of hair grow in front of their ears owes him a great debt and the world will always remember him for at least one thing.

The evil genius Fu Manchu: antagonist for a series of novels and films; one of the earliest examples of the super villain; namesake of the upside-down hair horseshoe we know as the Fu Manchu mustache.
Today, we associate the mustache we two types of people: movie characters that are gross stereotypes of Asians, and guys from ‘70s rock bands (or contemporary bands that ape ‘70s rock bands). Whenever we see a member either group, we know the mustache and we know the man, even if we’ve never actually seen or read anything featuring him. The mustache is Fu Manchu for many people.
Here’s the kicker though, Fu Manchu didn’t have a mustache. In his first appearance, in the novel The Insidious Dr. Fu Manchu, he was described as “tall, lean and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan.” That sounds like the Fu we know, but when the hero gets his first look at the good doctor later on, he says, “I looked up to his face – his wicked, hairless face.”
Wait, what?
Turns out that Warner Oland, the first actor to portray Dr. Fu Manchu on film, had a mustache and kept it while he played the part (a la Cesar Romero in the Batman TV series). For the sake of continuity, Boris Karloff wore a fake mustache when he took the part. Fans dug it and the ‘stache became iconic. So, novelist Sax Rohmer’s most famous character became forever known for something his creator never intended – a mustache that has become a cultural force in its own right.
Awright, so I’m down with the fu, but I also like to wear what I call a biker ’stache, which is basically a goatee with a clean-shaven chin. Problem I have with it is that lots of people call that the fu manchu. Is there a better name for it?
posted by Mudi-B on 2-1-2008 at 7:02 pm
Where’s Frank Zappa’s stache? He officially copyrighted the thing, or so urban legend says.
posted by Molly W. on 2-1-2008 at 7:41 pm
Mudi-B:
I’ve always heard it called the “marauder”
posted by artie on 2-1-2008 at 7:43 pm
Dude. Geraldo?!?!?!
posted by Panda on 2-1-2008 at 8:09 pm
What about Groucho Marx “mustache”
posted by Jim on 2-1-2008 at 9:48 pm
Oh, I dunno. Ron Mael of the always-fashionable band Sparks rocked the Hitler stache for several years in the ’70s and ’80s. He has more of a John Waters now, though.
posted by Stewart on 2-2-2008 at 12:19 am
I think the best mustache out there is Ron’s. He is a political juggernaut. His mustache gives him his power and, therefore, is all powerful.
posted by Esteban Bittlestein on 2-2-2008 at 7:36 am
Stewart brought up a good one there – the John Waters.
My fiance has the opposite of Mudi-B’s facial hair: goatee sans mustache. Does that count somewhere?
posted by kitsana_d on 2-2-2008 at 8:10 am
I’ll still remember Burnside more for the disasterous charge he ordered at the Battle of Fredericksburg, but his facial hair is a closes second
posted by John P on 2-2-2008 at 8:46 am
To follow-up on what John P touched on, Burnsides was hardly successful on the battlefield. In addition to commanding the Union army in their greatest defeat of the civil war (Fredricksberg), he could have won the battle of Antietam if he hadn’t screwed around all afternoon trying to cross a small bridge that now bears his name as a tribute to his inept leadership.
posted by Jay on 2-2-2008 at 10:35 am
Zappa’s mustache is an “Imperial” and it was around for a long while before he wore it.
But, yes, they did copyright it.
posted by Moon on 2-3-2008 at 7:47 pm
Burnsides was an idiot! Hahahaha! Even his sideburns are ridiculous!
posted by Moon on 2-3-2008 at 7:51 pm
No Rollie Fingers? I’m sorry his is the single greatest mustache ever to grace the face of this palnet (and a pitcher).
posted by Lane on 2-3-2008 at 8:36 pm
Ladies and Gents,
My apologies to the John Waters and Rollie fingers fans out there, but I was trying to highlight mustaches that are more or less synonymous with the men who wore them. Those two didn’t make the cut. It seems there’s enough ’stache advocates to warrant another mustache-related piece in the near future, though, so we’ll see what we can cook up.
posted by Matt on 2-3-2008 at 10:52 pm
Hitler and Chaplain and OLIVER NORVILLE HARDY! (The fat half of Laurel and Hardy)
posted by Greg Steinmayer on 2-4-2008 at 8:56 am
What of the trademark mustache of Agatha Christie’s Belgian detective Hercule Poriot? ;)
posted by Ashley on 2-4-2008 at 10:06 am
If you watch the cast interviews on the Downfall/Untergang DVD, you’ll see that Bruno Ganz (who played Hitler) actually grew a toothbrush mustache for the role. Now THAT’s dedication.
posted by Jim on 2-4-2008 at 11:12 am
Thank you everyone for not trashing my wonderful spelling of planet (palnet).
posted by Lane on 2-4-2008 at 9:43 pm
Salvador Dali should be on that list.
posted by brittany on 2-14-2008 at 3:37 am
What about Tom Selleck? LOL!
posted by Deirdre on 2-14-2008 at 7:00 am
Pretty neat-o that Burnside is on the list, I’m related to that guy, and yes, yes I do have sideburns…just not to the HUGE extent he did. And Dali definitely should’ve made it…Maybe a “Top 5″ would’ve been better? :P
posted by Kit on 2-14-2008 at 12:19 pm
Where did the soul patch come from?
posted by Kaukev on 2-14-2008 at 1:20 pm
i new hitler would be there lol
posted by Hitbob on 2-14-2008 at 1:41 pm
Mudi-B that kind of mustache is called a handlebar mustache. popularized by the custom chopper builder Paul Teutul.
posted by the hitman on 2-14-2008 at 7:37 pm
ya, i’d say Salvador Dali and Friedrich Nietzche shouldve made the list. Seriously, look up a picture of Nietzche. A stache to be reckoned with.
posted by Patrick on 2-14-2008 at 8:32 pm
I have a Burnsides moustache!
posted by MetFanMac on 2-26-2008 at 2:16 am
Awww! What happened to Burt Reynolds mustache?!?!
And Zappa’s ’stache?!?!?!?1
posted by Pamela on 3-21-2008 at 10:06 pm