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In the 1929 Marx Brothers film, Cocoanuts, Groucho explains to Chico his plans to develop and auction some land in Florida. It’s one of their most memorable scenes, achieving immortality with the following dialogue:
Groucho: ‘’And here is the viaduct leading over to the mainland.'’
Chico: ‘’Why a duck? Why a no chicken?'’
All through the scene, Chico demands to know “Why a duck?” – his daffy take on the word viaduct.
Daffynitions are punny definitions and, like Tom Swifties, once you get going, they’re a hard habit to quit. Calvin and Hobbes fans might recall this daffynition for the word pronoun: “A noun that has lost its amateur status.” Other favorites of mine include indistinct: “Where a person puts the dirty dishes,” and parasites: “What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.”
I’m not sure we’re ready for the Best Daffynition in the world!! contest just yet, but have at it! Let’s see what you loyal Word Wrappers can come up with.
Check out all past Weekend Word Wraps>>
Comments (22)
Comment
Transcendental “having a dentist clean your teeth while commuting.”
posted by Ian on 2-15-2008 at 4:53 am
hey I have that book!! it’s great!
posted by Emily on 2-15-2008 at 8:39 am
College: what the Cowardly Lion sought after in the Chinese adaptation of The Wizard of Oz.
posted by Ira on 2-15-2008 at 8:53 am
Chocolate: A piece or pieces of chalk that have been set down. (Chalk alit).
Tenderize: To protect a lady’s eyes. (Tend her eyes. ex: The safety goggles the scientist wears tenderize.)
posted by Jake Le Master on 2-15-2008 at 9:01 am
Database: Degrading to meal at Long John Silvers instead of the originally planned Red Lobster with your date. (Date abase).
posted by Jake Le Master on 2-15-2008 at 9:22 am
This is an actual conversation between my friend and I. I do woodworking from time to time, and unfortunately my rural accent causes me to not enunciate the “by” in “two-by-four”:
Me: “Hey, hand me that two-b’-four.”
Friend: “What do you need a tuba for?”
posted by Ben on 2-15-2008 at 9:47 am
This one’s not original, I had heard it as part of a joke and I don’t remember the joke :-(
Misunderstanding - “A miss standing under (something)”
posted by septer on 2-15-2008 at 9:57 am
In loving memory of my high school pre-calculus teacher:
Parabola: 2 bolas
Paradox: 2 ducks
Also, when asked how one can approach a certain math problem, he would often demonstrate the different ways by walking up to it, jumping towards, crouching under it, or running away from it
posted by Juan on 2-15-2008 at 10:13 am
I used to throw one or two of those on a weekly e-mail I had to send out to my coworkers. My favorite was: buccaneer — expensive corn. (As opposed to domineer — cheap corn.)
And to go along with the parabolas and paradoxes, we also have paradigms — twenty cents.
posted by CJ Casey on 2-15-2008 at 10:30 am
Pretext - Before Text
posted by septer on 2-15-2008 at 12:19 pm
Commentator- An ordinary potato.
posted by Kevin on 2-15-2008 at 12:21 pm
Another Marx quote:
What do you get when you cross and elephant and a rhino?
Elephino!
(Hell if I know)
posted by jenny on 2-15-2008 at 1:19 pm
Ira,
I just saw your daffynism and got a good laugh. Not bad. It took me a minute.
posted by Jake Le Master on 2-15-2008 at 2:01 pm
Oral history:
That little sticker they put on your car that tells when you last had your oral changed.
(ba-da-bing!)
Or if you are bilingual:
Chateau: French for the cat’s water dish.
posted by cybergoober on 2-15-2008 at 4:45 pm
In the age of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, these have morphed into Redneck definitions. My favorite: Cantaloupe - when you have to get married in a church.
posted by Jill on 2-15-2008 at 6:50 pm
specimen - an Italian astronaut.
posted by Harold on 2-15-2008 at 9:28 pm
Here’s a Marx quote:
Lady: Why that’s Bigamy!
Groucho: Well, sure it’s bigamy. It’s big of you too…. Let’s all be big for a change!
My most favorite:
Politics: Several small blood sucking parasites
posted by Jon on 2-16-2008 at 1:30 am
Cohoes, NY… named for the two prostitutes who founded the town.
posted by gus on 2-16-2008 at 10:22 am
Moon: Sound a cow makes.
Lackadaisical: When you have no white flowers.
Sorry, I’m lame at these…
posted by Katherine on 2-16-2008 at 10:43 am
Anubis - Unridden kid carrier (A new bus)
Totally retarded, but I thought of it just because I called my dog Anubis…to bad his name is Oscar.
posted by Jessica on 2-17-2008 at 10:14 am
politics can be broken down into its root words; poly meaning many and ticks being blood sucking parasites. I forget where I first saw this but with elections coming soon I can’t stop thinking about it.
posted by Jon Kenny on 2-22-2008 at 10:23 am
This isn’t really one, but it’s a cute story anyway.
I was a nanny for a family with 4 kids a couple of years ago. The oldest 2 were boys, about ages 4 1/2 and 6, who would “play” with their dad by jumping on top of him to “surprise” him. (he was a willing participant) One evening I was sitting in the living room and the boys were “playing” with their dad. One says to the other, “Ok, you go ’stract (meaning distract) him and I’ll jump on him.” The 2nd child (the younger one) runs up to his dad and yells, “Stract, stract, stract!”
We were laughing so hard, it actually worked as a distraction. :)
posted by greenstrawberries on 2-26-2008 at 4:21 am