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Before we dive into this week’s questions, a quick update on last Friday’s magazine giveaway: I’m slowly making my way through the list of lucky recipients, and I’ll try to have all 30 issues mailed by tomorrow. Fulfillment is hard and time consuming. I now have even more respect for our Cleveland office.
Today’s a half-day for me, so let’s not waste any more time with housekeeping announcements. Here are your questions:
1) What’s the crappiest car you’ve ever owned? Was it a clunker from the start, or did you simply drive it into the ground?
2) Speaking of automobiles, got any bumper stickers? How about a vanity plate?
3) What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen in an email signature? (Image, quote, job title, etc.)
4) Who’s the most obscure politician or celebrity to robocall your house? Before the 2006 election, a recorded Joe Piscopo made sure I knew he was voting for Tom Kean. Much appreciated.
5) Did you think any of your high school or college classmates were destined for high political office? How’s that working out? (If it’s too soon to tell, and you want to get your prediction on the record, now’s your chance.)
Comments (63)
Comment
1) currently I own a pretty crappy 1989 Jeep Cherokee. Water comes up through the floorboards when it rains and every other month I have to replace something expensive, after trying to fix it myself backfires since Jeeps are built different than the cars I’m used to. at least that is what I tell myself.
2) My license plate is “Muglborn” and I have a single bumper sticker that reads “Will brake for Wookiees”
3) Nothing too far out there, although once one of my coworkers accidently added a personal comment email as her signature (i have no idea how it happened) which was something about too many tequilas on friday night. I think it was her signature for a a few days before someone was finally like “oh… did you mean to talk about being drunk in your signature?”
4) I always hang up and never get to listen to awesome things like that. I also live in podunk so maybe no one thinks to call.
5) well, I always thought our class president would make something of herself, but apparently when she got to college she started selling Ecstasy. I’m not sure she knew what it was though, being very sheltered and all.
posted by Sarakenobi on 2-15-2008 at 9:15 am
Crappiest car I ever owned was an ‘85 Chevette hatchback; with racing stripes. I had more respect for it after finding out the speedometer was broken, and I’d actually been flinging around the highways at 90 mph. No radio, bits kept falling off the exhaust making it louder and louder, and a tendency to stall when I shifted into second.
3) The strangest thing I’ve ever seen was an e-mail signature comment from a marketing agent I knew: If you don’t have a great day, it’s your own fault! Vaguely annoying on its own, but pushed to the heights of bizarreness when she forgot about it and left it on several broadcast e-mails she sent about 9-11.
posted by faburobin on 2-15-2008 at 9:17 am
1) My first car wasn’t totally horrible (a ‘93 Ford Escort an eye-watering shade of blue-green), but my second I drove till the wheels about fell off. It was an ‘01 Ford Focus, and when it was finally traded in it had 160,000 miles, enough dents and scratches to impress Fordzilla, and both back windows welded shut (something broke and they wouldn’t roll up or down, they just dropped into the door frame). The car lot gave my parents $500 for it, but just because they were trying to close a deal on a new Escape. Which leads me to…
2) NO!!! When I finally got rid of the Focus I promised myself I’d take care of my next car. I got 2008 Altima Coupe last May and would never even consider putting a bumper sticker on it. For the plate, I’ve got a license plate cover with my alma mater and school seal, proudly proclaiming my alumni status.
3) None that I can think of, but it usually annoys me when people add little remarks to their signature because they’re always trying to sound inspirational or poetic, and most of the time the people using those signatures are total idiots.
4) Don’t think I’ve ever gotten one.
5) Not sure about any of MY classmates, but my father went to school with John Edwards in Robbins, NC. His favorite memory accounts a day in class when a substitute wanted everyone to stand, introduce themselves and state what they wanted to be when they grew up. When it was John’s turn, he stood and said “My name is John Edwards, and I want to be president of the United States.”
posted by bas on 2-15-2008 at 9:17 am
1. I have had so many crappy cars that I couldnt list one… lets just say that I went through a 3 year period where I changed cars 6 times.
2. “I brake for Tailgaters.”
posted by Sarah on 2-15-2008 at 9:19 am
1) My first car was a crappy Geo Metro. It ran well and got decent gas mileage, but after being broken into and trashed 3 times, it was suffering a lot of cosmetic damage I couldn’t afford to fix at that stage in my life. It was missing parts of the dash, inside door handles, and other such luxuries.
2) No bumper stickers of vanity plates on my current vehicle.
3) Someone I work with has the following quote on their email sig: “Insert pithy quote here.”
My wife has a quote in gailic that translates out to “I stand with my foot on the head of my enemy”.
My email sig is a latin quote that roughly translates out to “I prosper through good and bad fortune”.
4) I guess we’re not good enough to warrant an obscure celeb robocalling our house… we just get the generic obscure voice calling us.
5) I was pretty sure our valedictorian would end up in high political office, but I guess he was too smart for that. He ended up with a law degree and I think a doctorate in ag science instead.
“In utraque fortuna paratus”
posted by Jason! on 2-15-2008 at 9:22 am
1. After my husband and I got married, we had a 1986 Nova. Not one of the nice vintage one, but a really crappy compact Nova. We drove it for 3 years. The engine was great, but it was not pleasing to the eyes.
2. My sticker on my current is a rip off of the W the president stickers, It says “F the president” also have one of the Southern Culture on the Skids glittery stickers.
5. I did not foresee any political figures coming from my graduating class. However, there are plenty of tatoo artists, and musicians. One of my very good friends who always seemed very reserved is now a stripper in Key West. That was a shocker. Our class Valedictorian is now a doctor in North Carolina.
posted by QuinO on 2-15-2008 at 9:23 am
I’ve owned two completely crappy cars. The first was a 1989 Ford Festiva hatchback that I bought from a friend for $800. Her name was Spike. It had been in several accidents, was spray-painted blue and purple tribal stripes with silver stars. The drivers’ side door didn’t open from where a drunk driver hit it; the radio/CD player had been ripped out of it, so I put in a battery operated suction-cup radio that only picked up the Jesus stations. I loved that car.
Once the brakes went out on Spike once and for all and I needed to get to my two jobs the next day, I ran out in a panic and bought the first (cheapest) car that I could find on a used car lot and get a loan for (a $5,000 loan). I got a 1998 Honda Accord with 186,000 miles on it. The day after I drove it off the lot, the brake fluid all leaked out, the battery went dead, three tires blew out, the caltalytic converter dropped out. I hated that car.
I went out a couple months later, traded in the Accord and got a brand-new Yaris (with a warranty!). Which I love. It has a bumper sticker that says “Republicans for Voldemort”.
posted by Jen on 2-15-2008 at 9:25 am
1. I had a 1995 Plymouth Acclaim. I bout it in ‘01 and *just* traded it in October. For the last year, I never had to change the oil; I simply added new. I have slicks all over the area where I parked!
2. Said car had the “Isis Isis, Ra Ra Ra!” sticker, and I’m picking up a new one next week with a dragon holding a knight and a can opener that says “Canned Lunch.”
3. Anymore, everyone has some kind of signature attachment or the full listing of their businesses hours and address. I guess 95% of my email is all work related now…
4. I have never had a robocall. I heart my cell phone only life!
5. There were a few, but as far as I know, the most famous of my classmates is a basketball player named Marcellus Sommerville, who used to play for Bradley.
posted by kitsana_d on 2-15-2008 at 9:31 am
Doy, I totally forgot to add that my car’s paint was peeling off. Like everytime it rained I lost an inch or more of paint. And where the paint had flaked, the car was rusting. Someone once asked me what was up the the Gorbachev look!
posted by kitsana_d on 2-15-2008 at 9:33 am
1.When I was a senior in high school my aunt gave me (I realize now it’s because she hates me) her ‘89 Cutlass (though it just became the ‘ass because I tore off the front part of all of the name plates. So clever was I). It had originally been a sky blue, but by the time it came into my possession it was mostly rust. It leaked EVERY WHERE so it always smelled of mold and mildew (yum!). The seats were bench seats and the front passenger side had long before lost its grip on the floor board, so any passenger I had ended up sliding back and forth through out the ride. Many people became carsick, and by the end of the year I was sorely lacking in automotive company. There were grand plans to set it ablaze or have it find itself at the bottom of Lake Nockamixon, but instead it unceremoniously died in the parking lot of a grocery store in Yardley.
2. The only fantastic thing about my car now is the fact that I still have PA license plate despite having lived in Jersey for 2 years (can we say lazy?). That, and despite having bought the car a year and a half ago, I still never have had it inspected (see reasoning above).
3. I agree with bas on this one. Duh, all of my pseudo-intellectual quotations are reserved for my myspace page!
4. I haven’t had a home phone since 2000, so no political calls for me.
5. I was voted most likely to be a politician for my senior class because I was class president and no one really ever thinks to hard about that stuff. Almost 10 years later I am working in banking and just now finishing my Bachelor’s. On-line (though it’s through Penn State, does that count for anything???). Jerks still want me to plan my reunion, though.
posted by Jessica on 2-15-2008 at 9:38 am
My worst car was a 1993 Jeep Cherokee sport. It was red and had several problems from the start. My windsheild wiper chain broke during the middle of my dirve home during a terrible thunderstorm. The cars computer went on the fritz and the car wouldn’t shut off, even when I removed the key. I tried to use jumper cables on this same car and the connectors for the battery had corroded to the point that the pressure of the cables broke them off.
As far as bumper stickers, I had one on the car before that said, “My other vehicle is an X-Wing star fighter.”
posted by Jonathan on 2-15-2008 at 9:40 am
1. I had a ‘71 Datsun 240-Z. A hot car, but ridden with issues. I replaced the starter, alternator, points, clutch, exhaust…
2. It bore a bumper sticker that read “visualize grilled cheese”
3. I got an email signed with a Henry Ford quote. So lame and useless that it hurts to repeat: “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
4. Even though I have only a cell phone, I still managed to get a call from Schwarzenegger during his run for Ca. Governator.
5. I nicknamed my dorm room mate “gym-shorts room-mate” and he did nothing but take rips from a bong and play basketball. I’m sure he’ll be in some high public office.
posted by Mikebdesign on 2-15-2008 at 9:41 am
1) Horrible cars? I’ve had a few - 94 Grand Am with 200,000 miles. When I bought it…
92′ Festiva - not a bad running car, but sure looked like a piece of crap.
87′ Mercedes - my pride and joy till everything that could go wrong went wrong. All in the span of one week in December.
92′ Grand Prix - Ran great, but needed heater core. Then it needed a starter, fixed the starter. Now it needs a crank position sensor. and spark plugs. and wires. and a window. oh, and it still needs a heater core.
Did I mention that all are within the last two years??
2)I don’t care too much for putting bumper stickers on my cars (as you can see from above, wouldn’t be much of an investment as they like to dies w/in months of purchase) but I always liked the irony of my dad (a city cop) having a “Bad cop, no doughnut” sticker on his car AND his tagbook.
3)My choir director used to put these 20 line inspirational phrases in. And then would swap it out for some cutting, nasty remark that he had heard.
4)I just registered to vote last year (I’m 20) so no robo calls yet, and as I only own a cell, I’m doubtful that they’ll be calling.
5)No one in my class will EVER be a poitician. Hell, our class president only got elected cause he ran unopposed.
posted by Sarah on 2-15-2008 at 9:48 am
1) 1970 Chevy Malibu 4 door. It leaked oil like crazy, had an independent heat source in it that was impossible to regulate, a broken speedometer cable, and eventually stopped running altogether, great car.
2) My bumper sticker says “A big truck is no substitute for proper genitalia”
3) So many wierd things I’ve seen in email sigs, but the one that I find funniest was a friend who put “Sent from my iPhone” in his signature to justify the great expense of this gadget.
4)I don’t get robocalled… or if I do I haven’t yet answered.
5)My cousin actually ran for office (public defender) unsuccessfully.
posted by Scott on 2-15-2008 at 9:51 am
1. My worst car was a Chevy Chevette. The floor under the gas/brake pedals rotted out, so to avoid stopping Fred Flinstone Style, I had a metal plate welded over the hole. When driving in excess of 40MPH, the plate would heat upso bad, it nearly caused 2nd degree burns to my leg! Also, once while driving home from the supermarket after picking up the Thanksgiving turkey, the hatchback suddenly flew open, and I watched my frozen turkey slide out the back and down the road. I did manage to retrieve the turkey - covered in tire tracks. The car finally went to a better place (the junk yard) after the transmission fell out.
2. My license plate holder reads “Spritle & Chim-Chim are Hiding in my Trunk”.
posted by Audrey on 2-15-2008 at 9:54 am
1. I had a car dubbed the mitsubeagle. Why? Because the front end was a mitsubishi, and the back end was an eagle summit. voila, a mitsubeagle! Basically it had been my stepdads ex-wife’s car, and she’d been in 3 decently bad accidents. It was on it’s 3rd engine, and the whole font end had been replaced. Since the eagle summit was the same as some mitsubishi, they jammed the two parts together.
But wait, there’s more! Because it’d been in accidents, the body of the car was a bit off kilter. First the back right door didn’t like to close. You’d have to take a running start and fling your entire body weight at the door to get it closed. Finally we stopped using that door. Then the back left started popping open while driving. Even when locked. Eventually I took a length of rope, fed it through the door handles, and literally tied the back doors closed.
Then the front passenger door started doing the same. I closed it one day, and it seemed to hang oddly, like it was out of it’s socket and dangling precariously. Finally one day I could see the road from between the door and the doorjamb. That, plus the $400/month repair bill and quart of oil a week diet, was finally enough reason to get rid of it. The stereo though, was kickass. worth WAY more than the car itself.
2. I have two bumper stickers:
“Somewhere in Texas there’s a village missing their idiot.”
and
“If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”
posted by Jenny on 2-15-2008 at 9:54 am
Worst car was an 89 Sonata. I had it while I was in Korea with the Army (2000). It had 350,000km….someone else can do the conversion to miles. I bought it for 400 dollars. After my year tour, I sold it to my best friend for 150 dollars and a sandwedge. He used it to take me to the airport. Once he got back to his barracks, the transmission fell onto the parking lot. It never moved again.
posted by Drew on 2-15-2008 at 9:59 am
1) 1972 Dodge Colt painted bright red with Starsky and Hutch stripe down sides. Always spewed out gray smoke. It started as a clunker and got worse when it caught fire.
2) Only 1 sticker for a tattoo parlor.
3) The following script appeared in an email today from the movie “Never Been Kissed”
Josie Geller: That’ll teach me to wear white jeans after labor day.
Gibby Zerefski: I don’t think you’re supposed to wear white jeans after 1983.
4) A Georgia city council candidate had his preacher call me.
5) An ex girlfriend was tops on her debate team. But her career turned into stay at home mom.
posted by Doug K on 2-15-2008 at 10:02 am
1. I had a 1972 Audi 100ls in 1985. When you would hit a bump all of the lights would go out. To get the light back on you had to bang on the dash. The car had a broken spring in the drivers seat so it would rip your pants when you sat in the seat. The worst part was that you had to run the heat all of the time to prevent the car’s enging from overheating becuase the radiator didn’t work well.
2. No bumper stickers
3. I dislike all of those pseudo cool sayings at the end of emails. So, I try not to read them.
4. I don’t get many of those robo calls because I live in an PA where everyone elected ends up being a democrat regardless who is running. The democrats could run Adolf Hitler’s corpse and he would still win.
5. The one person who everyone in my high school that everyone thought we be some heavy duty politician ended up flunking out of Harvard. I saw him at a strip club about a year ago so I guess he’s doing OK though.
posted by Dan on 2-15-2008 at 10:03 am
My bumper sticker reads “Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies”
posted by Lisa H on 2-15-2008 at 10:18 am
1. I’ve only owned 3 cars in the 19 (ouch) years I’ve been driving, so let’s just say I drive them all into the ground. My first was the worst though- a 1985 Nissan Sentra. It cost me $600 in carburator repairs within the first year I owned it. The second car, an Integra, fulfilled its needs perfectly- after owning it for 10 years and never taking it in for a non-maintenance service, it started overheating on my way to trade it in. I still miss that car, but I was due for a Mom-mobile.
2) No vanity plates or bumper sticker, but I once paid extra for an ASPCA license plate.
3) I’m with bas on this one too.
4)We get the usual political figures- nothing special. My husband and I are registered with different parties, so we get twice as many calls. A friend had a recorded call from Stevie Wonder, asking if he could count on his vote for Obama. Somehow our household escaped ANY pre-primary calls. Yesssssssss!
5) The one I would have thought would have gone into politics doesn’t appear to have done anything. I just googled him and nada.
posted by Lebetho on 2-15-2008 at 10:20 am
@Doug K - I had a 1986 Dodge Colt hatchback that caught fire as well. The kicker is that it caught fire on the day that I was moving out of my dorm room and had just about all of my earthly possessions crammed into it. That made for quite the spectacular bonfire, closing down 3 lanes of the Parkway. Ugh.
There’s one former high school classmate of mine (he may have been the valedictorian, but I don’t remember) who I thought would wind up in some sort of office. I found him on Facebook a couple of months ago and it turns out he’s now making big bucks working for a PAC, which is on the far opposite end of the political spectrum from my leanings.
posted by caitlen315 on 2-15-2008 at 10:30 am
2) plate says “SNIKT.” 2 pts to anyone who ‘gets’ that. :)
posted by Jillian W on 2-15-2008 at 10:30 am
3) After reading everyone else’s responses thus far, I’m realizing two things about e-sigs:
A) Nobody likes them, they’re dumb
B) People try not to read them
I think this is awesome, as it gives me an opportunity to mess with fellow coworkers who will most likely ignore any ramblings attached to the end of my email.
I’ll start by replacing my current latin quote with the following I just googled:
“Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.”
Yay!
posted by Jason! on 2-15-2008 at 10:32 am
@ 23 (Jillian): Is it like Wolverine? Or Jay from Jay and Silent Bob?
posted by Jason! on 2-15-2008 at 10:35 am
1) My first car was a Pontiac LeMans, which I’m pretty sure is French for ‘lemon.’ It didn’t have a leaky head gasket, it essentially had NO head gasket. At the end I was having to keep a case (not a quart) of oil in the trunk, and it was using at least a quart a day on my commute back and forth to high school - a round trip of a whopping 13 miles, which would have been somewhat shorter had I been able to take the route that would have crossed a hill. To my eternal gratitude and confusion, the dealer where I bought my next car for some reason gave me $1,000 trade-in on it.
2) No official vanity plate or sticker, but I do have a novelty plate from our local shelter that says “Save a Cat.”
3) Our office once had an attorney whose signature was an animated GIF of a little dog running back and forth. Not sure how anyone ever took her seriously. (”You’re being sued! Arf!) Also, and this is slightly off-topic, we once got a resume (nice layout, quality paper) where the person’s e-mail address was flirtydrunk05 at one of the free providers. That person didn’t make it to the interview stage.
4) Ashley Judd called before last year’s gubernatorial primary.
5) I haven’t really kept up with a lot of people from HS, but I don’t think anyone went into politics.
posted by Roger on 2-15-2008 at 10:41 am
1. The crappiest car I ever had was not one that I technically owned; it was my parents’ car that they so kindly allowed me to drive. It was a rusted out 1992 Chevy half ton van that was partially converted into a family vehicle. It was very light blue and was missing the rearview mirror. After I started driving it, it developed a wiring problem that caused the fuse for the radio, dome light, and horn to malfunction. If I wanted these luxuries, I would have to replace the fuse and it would last somewhere between a few minutes and a few days. The differential in the rear end was warped, so at about 45 or 50 it would start to make this horrible howling noise. The noise was still there at higher speeds, but would quiet down a bit. The last time I drove the ol’ van it’d been out of my hands for a while and the fuse to the speedometer had blown. That kinda sucked. It eventually died on a trip to Michigan when something started leaking fuel which caught the whole front on fire. I wasn’t there, luckily, but my dad and my brother had to put the fire out by shaking cans of pop and then opening them and pointing them at the fire. Not so effective and the van was left at a salvage place while we drove the boys home. Oh yeah, and it won me the award of ugliest car my senior year…My classmates didn’t have the sense of humor to be ironic and vote it best car.
2. One: Miskatonic University, Home of the Fighting Cephalopods. Go ‘pods, go!
3. Most people I e-mail with don’t really bother with signatures.
4. I haven’t really gotten many…I got a call from Marlin Stutzman, who I believe is a state representative, who gave me a long phone survey baiting me to agree with him…except that I believe just about the opposite of everything he does, so that was kind of fun.
5. I don’t think anyone from our class has that kind of ambition. Our valedictorian is a nurse in a dialysis place (and loathes it) and our saluditorian (sorry if I butchered that) is an ag teacher in our old school. Most of my class is just lucky to not be divorced yet (and yeah, I only graduated not quite 6 years ago).
posted by Fruppi on 2-15-2008 at 10:49 am
1. My first car was a matte, forrest green ‘76 Opel Rekord. (I lived in Germany) My Dad called me at college and asked if I wanted a car (um, DUH!). It was manual trans (I will never drive automatic, EVER) and I learned to drive it on the autobahn on the way back from school…fun! The car had a cracked cylinder (not known at the time), caught on fire in the middle of traffic, then, on the day it died, I was in rush hour traffic, the clutch snapped and the engine locked up, I stopped the car on the side and started walking towards a phone. I was the worst day of on 19 year old life.
2. I currently drive a 2005 Saturn Ion with two stickers, a faded Q100 (local radio station) and brand new Netherworld Haunted House. Both stickers are on the bottom of the back window, so as not to stick to the paint.
3. I find email signature quotes to be a waste of time. Most people forget they have them and it is unprofessional to include personal tidbits. However, my favorite are the ones where people have embeded pictures of themselves.
4. I have never gotten phone call from a political support, famous or otherwise.
5. I thought my best friend, the Class president (I was his campaign manager) would go somewhere….alas, it has not happened. But he is happy. And that is what matters the most.
posted by Michelle on 2-15-2008 at 10:53 am
1) My first car was a 92 Ford Tempo. Beige and bumperless. It wouldn’t drive over 55, and when I tried to get it to go a little faster, it would shake like it was being posessed.
2) I have a ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker.
posted by Jessica on 2-15-2008 at 10:54 am
1)I had an ‘89 Renault Alliance that my Dad convinced me to buy from a friend of his. This car had bad electrical problems, a lousy radiator (I can sympathize completely with using the heat on HIGH to prevent overheating even in DC in the summer, also driving with the front windows open in the winter since the defroster didn’t work), one time the 5-speed manual transmission got stuck in reverse and wouldn’t come out and the only thing that the mechanics could find that was compatible was a 4-speed VW Bug tranny, so I lost a gear from then on, the CV joints went out badly on the way to college 1/2 way from DC to GSO, NC so my Dad had that fixed and towed it later to GSO on a U-Haul dolly, while in college, a “friend” of mine drove over a concrete parking marker/barrier and broke the front axle (which Dad fixed) and finally, the muffler rotted out. At that point, my Dad refused to fix it any more and I sold it to some poor sucker on campus for $25. He wasn’t sure how to get it in reverse since the “new” transmission was set up a little differently than the old one, MWAAAAHH.
2) Last car I had: Save the Environment, Plant a Bush back in Texas and Bush & Sons, Inc., formerly known as the United States of America
3) Lots of people I worked with at a major Bank had religious statements, I’m not sure that’s really legal, but we in the South down here
4) Don’t have a home phone, just a cell
5) Nope.
posted by kary on 2-15-2008 at 12:29 pm
1) The most crappy and GREATEST car I owned was a (once) bright red 1991 Ford Escort Pony hatchback. It was tiny and the a/c didn’t work, but the tape player and windows were all I needed.
It ran until October 2005 when a Jimmy crushed it’s entire passenger side. The Jimmy got small dent in the fender as a result of totaling my baby.
2) That very car had one bumper sticker:
Corporations are People Too.
posted by Elizabeth on 2-15-2008 at 12:29 pm
Jason, don’t twist yourself into a pretzel to get my old mental_floss issue to me– i’m content to wait, just knowing that i will one day have in my hands an envelope that was touched by (sigh) you. lol
current bumpersticker:
‘orwell said this might happen.’ yes, i’ve had people ask what that means.
crappiest car:
1965 buick special named sidney. sidney’s previous owner was an elderly man who blacked out and drove the car into the side of his barn. his family put him in a nursing home and sold the car to my then boyfriend/later husband/now ex for $200 in 1984. it looked like a p.o.s., but that bad boy started even on the coldest south dakota mornings. and if any of you are from south dakota, you know that it can be beyond cold!
posted by Shelly on 2-15-2008 at 12:37 pm
1) My first car was a ‘72 Olds Delta 88. Big ol’ eight cylinder that sucked gas like a pig but it was a while back so gas wasn’t quite so expensive. One time I slid the nose into a mailbox (lots of ice around here) and I repaired the damage myself, but not well and definitely not pretty. It seems that from that day forward cars got out of my way on the highway. Towards the end of its life it developed an electrical problem; hit a bump just right and all the electrics would go out except the engine. Lights, dash, radio; everything. The only way I could get them back was to find another bump to fix her. I have memories of riding down roads actually looking for potholes to hit. I loved that big black boat.
5) In high school my friend and I were geeks and tended to hang around each other for support… we were never class presidents or anything of the sort. Now he’s a high level politico with good prospects if he keeps it up. Go figure.
posted by Bob on 2-15-2008 at 12:55 pm
My worst car was a Chevy Celebrity station wagon that threw a rod the second day I had it 90 miles from home. After having it towed to my mechanic, he told me three of my four motor mounts were busted. I tried suing the guy I bought the car from but was not successful. About 6 months later the car just stops running on I-95 in the Bronx, I get towed again (I had AAA plus-100 miles free towing) Now the carbuerator is shot. The car never ran well after that. In the winter at work I had to go out to my car every hour to start it up to make sure the carb stayed open. I finally got rid of it when I hit a shifted construction plate and bottomed out the WHOLE car, tore the oil pan off the bottom, busted the motor mounts again, and bent the axel and rims on the two front tires. I sued the construction company and NYC and got $1,800 for the car - far more than it was worth.
My favorite bumper sticker was “No well behaved woman ever made history” I had that on the 1998 Plymouth Sundance that replaced the Celebrity.
I just saw one the other day -”If you’re not insured with XXX we’re both losing money” along with a Hagar the Horrible cartoon that had to do with insurance.
We live in NYC and are politically connected Democrats, we get all kinds of Robo calls. (Ex Mayors Ed Koch, David Dinkins, and even Hillary called us once)
A good friend of mine from college who was president our senior year (class of 80), is the Mayor of a fairly large city in Michigan.
posted by Sue on 2-15-2008 at 1:10 pm
1) Crappiest car was a Pontiac T-1000. Not long after getting it, I got sick while driving it–thought I smelled something. No one else could smell anything but 2 days later (during morning rush hour–so much fun to be THE car that jams up the morning commute!) as my dad was driving it to get serviced, flames started shooting out of the tape deck. He an mom bailed out, one running in front of the car, one running behind. Then dad remembered it was April 15 and he’d left the tax papers on the back seat, so he had to go back for them. By this time thick, black smoke was pouring from the windows. Fire ate up the entire dash and engine. Totalled out. Never found out was went wrong, but a few months later started getting recall notices from Pontiac. We just pitched them.
2)No bumper stickers (I refuse to put them on my car) but once had a vanity plate “Gidget”
3)Just weird quotes by famous people. None come to mind right now.
4)No one.
5)Nope.
posted by Fran on 2-15-2008 at 1:12 pm
1) The crappiest car I ever owned was also the most awesome car I ever owned. It was a hand-me-down Toyota Cressida from my two older brothers. During the time they owned it, they wrecked it 6 times, including doing a 180 at 60 mph and turning it over, hitting a bull while going down a rural highway and hitting the yellow pole at a gas station.
The awesome part about it - it’s dash was completely digital (keep in mind the car was an ‘84 model) and it loved to go fast. I have proof. If you set the cruise control on the car, it would continue to accelerate.
2) The next car I had, a hand-me-down Ford Escort from my mom held the only bumper sticker I ever put on a vehicle. It was a ‘92 Bush/Gore presidenential election bumper sticker. Odd thing about it? It dissappeared the day after the election and was replaced by little red squares. I didn’t do and have yet to conclusively determine who did.
posted by Jennifer on 2-15-2008 at 1:44 pm
1) 1982 Dodge Aries. I got it when I was 16… in 1996. With its white/rust exterior and faded red bench seats, it was a clunker from the get go. The radio didn’t work, so a working one was bolted to the floor. The speakers still sucked though, so a big speaker was placed in the trunk. This weighed the trunk down so much that I was pulled over because the cop “thought [I] had five or six people in the back seat”. Of a Dodge Aries. The muffler fell off within the first year.
2) Just a Penn State window sticker nowadays. But the Aries was covered…
3) From our colleges head of IT.. “Colonel, US Army (Ret), Director Information Resources” - and no, the college nor his position have anything to do with the military, and yes, this would be hilarious if you knew him.
4) I think there was a call from Lynn Swann…
5) Hahah. No. Definitely not.
posted by Corrine on 2-15-2008 at 1:49 pm
1) My very first car was a crappy old 1986 Jeep Cherokee. Just getting the thing was a story in itself: my dad had come across it in a field near our house, and by the time he’d found the owners and gone back to it, it was literally covered in mud and had a huge pink paint stain in the back. After we bought it, we found out that through some long, complicated process, it might have been stolen. Luckily that smoothed over and we had to fix the thing. Whoever had it last hadn’t changed the differential fluid for 25
posted by heather on 2-15-2008 at 2:03 pm
2. We have several SCUBA stickers on our truck, but my favorite sticker is our “Wankers Away” one from a local British pub.
3. Agreement here: I hate those things, but Jason’s Latin one is aaaaaawesome!
4. Hillary called my house at least 24,000 times before our caucus, but I didn’t get any other folks.
5. Who knows- I don’t keep up with most of those fools.
posted by Lindsay C. on 2-15-2008 at 2:05 pm
1) My very first car was a crappy old 1986 Jeep Cherokee. Just getting the thing was a story in itself: my dad had come across it in a field near our house, and by the time he’d found the owners and gone back to it, it was literally covered in mud and had a huge pink paint stain in the back. After we bought it, we found out that through some long, complicated process, it might have been stolen. Luckily that smoothed over and we had to fix the thing. Whoever had it last hadn’t changed the differential fluid for 25 YEARS. We almost had to replace it entirely. Not only that, but every time I drove it around a specific corner it would stall in the middle of the intersection. The weird thing was it only stalled right there and nowhere else.
2) My car has an interesting collection that i hope to expand.I have a bumper sticker that says “Got Malasadas?” It’s an interesting conversation piece since I usually have explain that malasadas are a type of doughnut only made in Hawaii. I also have one that says “My other car is a broom.” owing to my paganness and fondness for puns. The one sticker I really want to get is one that simply says “Smile if you’re not wearing any underwear!” I think it’s easy to see why lol.
3)My personal favorite is from a deniantart post “YOU’RE PUSHING ME CROOKED!” I don’t know why it makes me laugh so much but it does.
4)I haven’t gotten a lot of obscure political messages, but just last night, we got a recorded ad for Payless shoes.
5) There are a couple of people in my graduating class that I wouldn’t be surprised to see on a ballot in a few years. There’s a foreign exchange student that I knew that was incredibly smart. She got a full ride scholarship to Trinity college along with a plethora of others from business and leadership programs. I would definitely vote for her!
posted by heather on 2-15-2008 at 2:13 pm
1) After totaling my ‘76 Toyota Corona (yes, Corona, not Corolla) on the way to high school (didn’t take much to total it), I got an ‘86 Toyota Celica after a couple years of college. The car was about 12 years old at that point. It was red, which is all my dad cared about. This car was trouble from day one. Supposedly those old Celicas had some convoluted starting system. My car started very rarely. After getting piece after piece fixed, turned out it was an “electrical problem.” My creative mechanic installed a switch on my dash(dubbed, by me, the Super-Switch) that supposedly bypassed the whole tricky starting system. Sometimes it worked. I was stranded so many times, I can’t believe I kept the car as long as I did. My dad “did me a favor” by scraping the tint off the back window…and inadvertently scraped off the defrost that he had so carefully tried to avoid. My antenna broke, but still kinda worked…until my dad thought it was ugly and ripped the whole thing off. No more radio for me! The heat was broken, but I had a trusty blanket to keep me warm. Spedometer was stuck at 0. Man, that car terrifying, basically. Needless to say, my dad has not been allowed to be involved in subsequent car purchases or repairs.
2) I was a college student when I got that Celica, so my bumper sticker “Thank You For Not Breeding,” was hilarious at the time. Not so funny when you graduate and have a real job.
3) My husband just pointed out my friend’s signature to me yesterday. I had never really read it before. She works for a radio station and part of her sig is “[station call number] Over 400,000 ethnically diverse young adults in the age of acquisition.” Yikes.
4)No scary people calling lately. But maybe someone will recall a website called “NotifyUs.” A quick search showed me its still around. But around 2000, you could type in a phone number and a message (phonetically, of course) and it would CALL the number and speak the message! Man, that was weeks of great pranks. They shut that system down after not too long!
5) Our senior class president was bound for great things. But shortly after graduation, it came out that one of our teachers was having a fling with him. They were both dudes and the student was from an uber-religious family, so it was extra-scandalous. Teacher was fired, needless to say. Makes me sad to hear the student isn’t running for Congress or something. He was a smart, likable guy but supposedly didn’t recover well.
posted by N X on 2-15-2008 at 2:15 pm
1. *sigh* my first two cars were awesome. Hand-me-down hoopties for sure!! The second one, a 1986 Toyota Camry was the best car ever. It took me all over the place in college. The engine was great, but everything else fell apart one thing at a time. I LOVED that car. I cried when I finally had to get rid of it. RIP, Tuna Can.
2. I had a few stickers on the Camry. One for “Sublime” and one that said “Got Mullet?”
I had a “Don’t Blame Me, I Didn’t Vote For Him” sticker on my current car, but my Rep. hubby claimed it “fell off” last time he drove it.
3. None that come to mind.
4. I’ve never been called!
5. None that I can think of. Wasn’t really a part of the student government crowd in school.
posted by mrs.djs on 2-15-2008 at 2:17 pm
1) Oh my, where to begin? My crappiest card was my second car. My first was was a non-descript Toyota. My second card was a Toyota that almost defies description. I had just moved to a very small town in Northern Arkansas and needed a cheap, reliable car. A friend of a friend has a 1978 Toyota Corolla wagon that was $400. It was painted flat sky blue (out of spray cans) that covered everything, including trim; the back hatch was broken, so there was a 2×4 in the back that you used to prop it open (that seemed like taking your life in your hands, so I rarely did); there were holes in the floorboard that were big enough to see the ground through if you lifted up the mat; there was no radio, no A/C (remember ARKANSAS = very humid summers and I had a 1/2-hour commute to and from work), and no power anything; and the front seats were covered in what I can only describe as black Muppet fur, similar to Fozzie Bear. And I bought it! On the upside, it got great gas mileage and has proved to be great for trumping just about anyone’s worst car story. On the downside, I could never get any of my roommates or friends to ride in my car. I never changed the oil in it, just added more once in awhile. I bought new tires for it and when I left Arkansas, I sold it for the same price I paid for it, to a man with four teeth. But the absolute best thing about it was it’s bumper sticker, which I never removed. I felt it belonged with the car. “Who are the Grateful Dead and why do they keep following me?”
2) No bumper stickers now, nor vanity plates. See answer to (1) above. That has fulfilled my need for bumper stickers forevermore.
3) Alas, I mainly see the generic e-mail sigs. Job titles, company names, etc. I used to have the Einstein quote about things that count and things that can’t be counted in mine, but it was quite long and the only person that ever commented on it was my dad.
4) I’ve never been robo-called for candidates. However the Sears Home Siding people are very set on trying to hook me up with some nice vinyl siding.
5) I tried (and still try) not to give my high-school classmates much thought. And when I do think of them, I sincerely hope that none of them ever decide to seek public office.
posted by Oregon_Girl on 2-15-2008 at 2:23 pm
Worst car: used 2000 Blazer. Repalced rear-end for factory defect (thank gods we weren’t killed!).
Bumper sticker: “Imagine Whirled Peas”
NO weird email sigs.
I used to cold call for Bill Hobby
And the reason I commented: A kid I hung around with in high school said he would be a politician. He is currently a state rep for Texas. Amazing (and I never use THAT word!)
posted by patty on 2-15-2008 at 2:42 pm
2) I just got back from lunch with one of my coworkers, who has a bumper sticker that says “Reunite Gondwanaland!”. Awesome geology humor, if you know what it is…
posted by Jason! on 2-15-2008 at 2:47 pm
I always liked the bumper sticker which says:
Jesus is coming…
Everyone look busy!
posted by Scott on 2-15-2008 at 3:09 pm
1) That would be my current car. It’s just slowly falling apart as it’s 10 years old and I’m really just hoping I don’t have to put a chunk of money into it before I graduate in December. Plus, after reading other people’s stories, mine probably isn’t that bad after all. The rundown is: driver’s side door doesn’t like to open on the first try, so I have to keep tugging on the handle; the heat and a/c only work when turned on high; the hood won’t stay down all the way, it’s latched but isn’t flush with the sides; the check engine light was on for over a year, I think it’s just burnt out or maybe whatever was wrong corrected itself (I can only hope). The trim stuff around the windows is coming off as well.
2) My plate is GSNAP 1 and I have a couple Harley Davidson stickers on it and an Akron Zips sticker.
3) Don’t really pay attention to them. Though, one that’s on a couple co-workers is the one that says to think about the environment before printing out the email. Apparently some people can’t resist printing out every email they receive.
4) I have caller ID and have avoided any celeb political calls.
5) No one in my class had political aspirations, though one guy became a doctor, but it wasn’t a shock, he knew that’s what he wanted.
posted by ginger on 2-15-2008 at 3:44 pm
1. I’ve only owned 2 so far but my first one was pretty crappy. It was a 1990 Honda Accord, lovingly passed down from my parents. We went through a lot together, though. And she was quite the trooper.
2. I don’t have any bumper stickers but I have a Maui Built (local company) sticker that says “Slow down, this ain’t the mainland”. Haha!
3. I’m still in college so no one has witty email signatures yet.
4. I don’t have a house phone. Only a cell phone. If they called my cell I’d be really freaked out.
5. I went to school with a lot of really smart, really rich people (me not included) who will probably be ridiculously famous someday. Steve Case (AOL guy) went to my school. He just donated like 50 billion dollars (ok, slightly exaggerating) to build an insanely beautiful middle school on the campus.
posted by Leah Y. on 2-15-2008 at 5:05 pm
One more thing! My favoritest vanity plate ever was on a VW Jetta. It said “NZ HAUS”. Like those old VW commercials “V Dub in zee haus”. I don’t know if that made sense to anyone but it made me lol in my car when I saw it.
posted by Leah Y. on 2-15-2008 at 5:08 pm
1. My first car–a 1980ish Omni. It was black and had a hole in the floor (covered up by a floor mat) on the passenger’s side.
2. I have a license plate holder that says “Caution: Driver Reads Braille”. I do read braille–because I am a teacher of the visually impaired! You should see the looks I get.
3. The most horrible thing that I ever saw was on some chat board or another…and that person’s signature line said something like “my abortion was fetus of the month at Planned Parenthood”. WTF?! I am totally in support of legalized abortion AND Planned Parenthood, but that just made me queasy. Others found it hilarious.
4. I only have a cell phone, so no robots call me.
5. My high school classmates–myself included–were a bunch of dorks :)
posted by TeacherPatti on 2-15-2008 at 5:29 pm
5) Going to put this on the record: Bryce Jarvis of Alaska is going somewhere. I doubt the presidency–he’s not much of a politician–but some prestigious foreign diplomat sort. You watch.
posted by Courtney on 2-15-2008 at 6:08 pm
@jessica, #29 - I had a ‘92 beige Ford Tempo too!! That thing was so awful. Needed a new transmission at 28,000 miles.
I got a speeding ticket in it once - I had no idea how fast I was going cause the speedometer didn’t go higher than 80mph. It sounded like a little airplane coming down the road. We eventually sold it to a neighbor who fixed it up, and amazingly I still see it tooling around town.
posted by ellentyler on 2-15-2008 at 6:41 pm
1). my crappiest car (and my favorite): a 1985 Honda Civic Wagon. Three speed automatic, shaped a bit like a rhombus, I called her Layla (or the TazMobile, depending on when). I took that car off-road more than once and used to get her stuck in snow banks in the winter all the time. Alas, she broke my heart and ran out of oil on me one day and became pretty much worthless.
2). Above car was once covered in flame decals and a big Tasmanian Devil on the hood. Yep, small wonder I wasn’t quite the ladies man in high school. At one point, I also had a sticker that said “Rush is Reich” (a play on the Rush Limbaugh stickers that said “Rush is Right”) but I got tired of explaining it to people and took it off.
3). I get a lot of email in my company (an insurance carrier) and am constantly bombarded with stupid email signatures, plus I’m required to put a blurb about our latest product in my signature. As far as I can tell, they don’t work.
4). No celebs have called me, though we do get a lot of calls from the local Fire Dept asking for donations.
5). As far as I know, nobody from my high school class of ‘95 holds any political office. I think one of my old buddies is up and coming in the movie industry, though.
posted by Pete on 2-15-2008 at 8:14 pm
3. I’ve just adopted my own email signature: “Please consider the environment before printing this email.” It even has a little green tree. I find it minimally offensive. I’ve borrowed it from the president of the college where I work; he actually gets numerous personal requests to “borrow” the signature.
posted by K on 2-15-2008 at 10:19 pm
1. I bought my crap-car, a 1983 toyota celica for a whopping $5 from a family friend who didn’t want her very old and senile dad driving it anymore because he recently drove into a wall with it. So, you can imagine what condition it was in when I bought it. I put in a new transmission, a new stereo, 2 new alternators and a new battery (among other more cosmetic things) only to have the engine throw a piston not 3 months later! It was bad.
2.Said car had one bumper sticker- Charlton Heston is my President. I’m a peace-loving, REI shopping Tree-hugger from northern CA. ‘Nuff said.
3.No one I know cares enough to put a snappy signature line on e-mails. Either that or they just dont know HOW.
4. No celebs call me. But I don’t take that as an insult- really, its a compliment.
5. My sister, Amy DeReyes is an up and coming politician. She is currently the Chief of Staff for the County Supervisor in Oakland, CA. Really. This girl is only 24 and she will change the world! Go Amy!!!
posted by Ashley on 2-15-2008 at 11:02 pm
1) the crappiest car I owned was my first car. It was a 1978 Ford Grenada, and while it was in running order upon ownership, I quickly ran it into the ground. driving nearly 40,000 miles in a year, and runninginto all sorts of things.
2) I have a Detroit Tigers “D” and a USMC sticker on my Jeep.
3) President of Ghana. in one of those scam emails. I didn’t realize I was in the world leader circuit until I got his email.
posted by RobVan on 2-16-2008 at 8:36 am
The crappiest car I ever owned was my first car. A 1973 blow-up model Pinto. These were the ones that you had to have recall work done on because if you got hit from behind, the gas tank would blow up. It was white, with a baby-poo-green vinyl top. The upholstrey was baby-poo-green vinyl with bright yellow, white and baby-poo green plaid (yes plaid) seats. A few months after I got it, I left it parked on the curb with the windows down. Overnight, someone threw eggs inside the car. I didn’t drive it for 2 days, not realizing there were raw eggs all over the inside. Did I mention it was at the heighth of summer? The smell was horrid. I think the colors of the interior of the car made the smell worse. I couldn’t afford the deductible on my insurance to have it professionally cleaned, so I had to drive it as it was. I carried that smell with me everywhere…to work, to the store. It was the worst 3 months of my life. I finally killed the car by not putting oil in it and it threw a rod. Even then, with smoke pouring out from under the hood on the highway, the good samaritan that stopped to help, asked me…what’s that horrible smell.
posted by LNolen on 2-16-2008 at 11:54 am
The worst car I ever had was a second-hand Chevette (don’t know what year) with a front grill that looked like Jimmy Carter’s smile. I named her “Margot” after Margot Fonteyn. Definitely a misnomer because there was nothing graceful about this poor car. At the time I carpooled with four plus-sized women (very plus-sized) and together we killed Margot. She just couldn’t stand the strain. My mother lived about 35 miles away and the trip entailed driving up a fairly steep long hill. By the time poor Margot reached the top of the hill, she was traveling at about 3 miles-per-hour even though I had the accelerator floored. There always was a line of cars on the road behind me, as far as I could see. Neeedless to say, she didn’t last too long with us.
posted by Catherine on 2-16-2008 at 1:12 pm
i quite love my “haslhof” tags….had it in VA and FL and i’m working on getting them in TN…
posted by stef on 2-16-2008 at 1:58 pm
PA license plate “FIXGEAR” ’cause we only have seven letters.
posted by fixedgear on 2-17-2008 at 6:06 am
Hey K (#54) - My trainer uses that sig(little green tree and all). I’ve got to ask her where she got it from.
posted by Sue on 2-17-2008 at 9:08 am
1) My first vehicle was a 1965 Chevrolet El Camino. The color was flat red and it had a dent in every panel. It would go 150 mph. The seat was so low i had to look between the steering wheel and the dash to see. It had a leak in the rear window and there were mushrooms growing behind the driver’s seat. No bull.
2) favorite bumper sticker “My other car is a broom.”
3) I was a hiring manager for a major insurance company and an applicant sent her resume electronically. Her email was “tastygirl.”
4) None, but i anxiously await a call from William Shatner.
5) There were only 42 people in my graduating class. It was 1981. Some had “high” aspirations, but that was mostly taken care of at lunch.
posted by Renee Pruett on 2-17-2008 at 7:28 pm
I have been driving a 1989 Pontiac Sunbird for the last 2 years, fondly named Fury (but my dad calls it “Furby” or “the Sunterd”). I paid $800 cash to an old lady who couldn’t drive anymore. It’s kind of ugly, it creaks while I drive, the doors squeak, the windshield wipers turn on high or off, but nothing in between, the wipers will go off at random times while I’m driving, the horn doesn’t work unless you press a very specific spot that’s hard to pinpoint, the lining is falling off the ceiling, my headlights short out, you can’t use the air conditioning for fear of overwhelming the car, and it likes to break down on occasion for no reason at all. When I was grounded from driving my senior year for almost 3 weeks, my car sat in the rain and to this day smells moldy. It has a sun roof, but one of those lame ones that opens up maybe 2 inches. I had to replace the tires last year when I drove them down to the wire, and recently replaced the whole break system when it disintegrated. My dad has also instated a “10 minute rule” meaning I can’t take trips in it that are over 10 minutes because my car is pretty unreliable and likes to die on major highways.
Bumper stickers include: “Marines” “Semper Fidelis” “My brother protects our freedom. He is a US Marine” “Auburn School of Forestry and Wildlife Science” and a blue square with the outline of AL and an equals sign in it with the words “www.equalityalabama.org”
I love that car more than anything. I bought it completely on my own, which is something I’m proud of. It also has more character than 99% of cars on the road. If it completely died beyond repair tomorrow, I’ve gotten more than my money’s worth. It’s unique and a little kooky, like me.
posted by kayla on 3-18-2008 at 12:54 am