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I’m back from my L.A. trip, and despite getting deathly ill my last day there, I had a great time. One of my favorite stops was the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery, which is Marilyn Monroe’s final resting place. I’m not necessarily a huge MM fan, but when you think Hollywood, you think Marilyn, so it made sense to me.
Much to my surprise, there were some celebrity tombstones at Westwood Village that were far more attention-getting than Miss Monroe’s.
The cemetery was not at all what I was expecting. I’m used to vast expanses of lush green lawn with headstones varying from a big stone to a huge, opulent mausoleum. There’s just not room for hundreds of cemeteries of that size in L.A. In fact, you don’t really even know there’s a cemetery hidden amongst all of the big buildings until you’re practically inside of it. A vast majority of the tombs were set into walls and the ones that weren’t were pretty standardized. Which is why it was really apparent when someone went the extra mile to stand out by showing a little humor on their tombstones.
Merv Griffin’s had my husband in stitches (sorry about the reflection):
Equally funny was Jack Lemmon’s, who made it to one final marquee:
Fans of Grumpy Old Men and The Odd Couple will be pleased to know that Walter Matthau is buried nearby.
Obviously, Rodney Dangerfield couldn’t go out without a laugh:
As a writer, Billy Wilder’s is especially close to my heart:
Meanwhile, Marilyn’s is pretty nondescript:
Visiting Westwood made me wonder what other celebrities wanted to keep people laughing long after their deaths, so I did a little investigating.
Mel Blanc
The Man of a Thousand Voices knew how to leave his audience wanting more. On the off-chance that you’re not familiar, Mel was the voice of Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, Sylvester the cat, Tweety Bird, Yosemite Sam and Foghorn Leghorn (among others). How fitting, then, that he chose to have this engraved on his headstone:
Robert Frost
You might expect one of Frost’s famous quotes to be inscribed on his tombstone – “In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on.” Instead, he went with something equally thought-provoking:
(”I had a lover’s quarrel with the world”, in case you can’t read it.)
Edgar Allan Poe
Such a dark and macabre writer such as Edgar Allan Poe would surely have something similarly creepy on his headstone, and he does not disappoint. “Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore’,” is what the text on the arch over the raven says.
Ed Wynn
You may not know Ed Wynn by name, but Disney fans will recognize him as the voice of the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. Later, he played crazy Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins. Prior to Alice, he was a headliner on Broadway who found his way under W.C. Fields’ tutelage. Wynn remembered who was responsible for all of his success and made sure to note so on his memorial:
Finally, you wouldn’t expect a legend like Frank Sinatra to go out without last words to remember him by:
Stop squinting. It says, “The Best Is Yet To Come.”
What are some other entertaining, thought-provoking or otherwise interesting epitaphs we should know about?
On J.R.R. Tolkien’s grave he has printed the name “Beren” and on his wife’s, which is right next to him, is the name “Luthien.” Beren and Luthien were epic characters in his history before the Lord of the Rings. Beren, a man, and Luthien, an elf, were lovers, their story is a beautiful one.
posted by Sarah on 3-2-2008 at 8:35 pm
Wikiquote has a bunch of them. But my favorites are:
And away we go — Jackie Gleason
He lies here somewhere. — Werner Heisenberg
Despite them — Rob Roy MacGregor
If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl — H. L. Mencken
Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite. [I told you I was ill] — Spike Milligan
posted by Samantha on 3-2-2008 at 8:39 pm
Grumpy Old Men? Your (young) age is showing. When I think of Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthaeu, I think of The Odd Couple. So I’m showing my age, too!
posted by Miss Cellania on 3-2-2008 at 9:38 pm
Oh really, Miss Cellania?
I’m fourteen and the first thing that comes to mind regarding Jack Lemmon is Some Like It Hot.
Hmmph.
posted by Taira on 3-2-2008 at 10:02 pm
Haha, I’m sixteen (today!) and when I think of Jack Lemmon, I think of Some Like It Hot as well. Also, The China Syndrome.
posted by Allison on 3-2-2008 at 10:15 pm
Great post Stacy!
I’m having a hard time making out what it says on Poe’s grave. Can you help me out?
posted by Craig on 3-2-2008 at 10:25 pm
Craig,
the bit above the raven, of course, says “Quoth the raven ‘Nevermore,’” then under the dates it says “Mrs. Maria Clemm, his mother-in-law, lies upon his right, and Virginia Poe, his wife, upon his left under the monument erected to him in this cemetery.” Umm… whoa.
Very nice, Stacy!
posted by Becca on 3-2-2008 at 10:35 pm
Thomas Jefferson’s tombstone has the five things for which he’d most like to be remembered. (Google it!)
posted by KurtC on 3-3-2008 at 12:18 am
Penn and Teller’s grave is great.
“Is this your card?”
On top of that, they’re, of course, still alive.
posted by Tonberry2k on 3-3-2008 at 1:14 am
“I told you I was ill.”
Spike Milligan
posted by the spanielator on 3-3-2008 at 6:40 am
For anyone who’s interested in celebrity lives and deaths, there’s a great book called “Where Are They Buried and How Did They Die?” written by a guy with the last name of Benoit (can’t remember the first name right now…). Anyway, it tells the lives of hundreds of actors, writers, musicians, and various other scandal-makers of the last century or so, then tells how they died. It even gives directions to the grave-sites in case you want to visit! It’s a really interesting read, and it’s a good reference for anyone who’s ever heard a famous name and wondered why they were famous.
posted by bas on 3-3-2008 at 7:50 am
I have been to Hollywood Forever cemetery and have seen Mel Blanc’s grave. Another feature on the headstone is a little Bugs Bunny in a lower corner.
posted by Julie on 3-3-2008 at 8:13 am
The actual cemetery where Poe is buried in Baltimore (I think it’s on the corner of Fayette & Green) is so much more fitting to what you’d expect from him. Very spooky and beautiful, in a macabre sense. If you are ever in the area, definitely go visit!
I hope you enjoyed LA!
posted by Lauren on 3-3-2008 at 8:21 am
Someone above mentioned Jefferson’s tombstone. In a bizarre twist it does not actually mark his grave, but is rather on the quad at the University of Missouri. It was donated to them in honor of Mizzou being the first public university in the Louisiana Purchase.
posted by Aaron on 3-3-2008 at 9:44 am
Don’t forget Marcel Duchamp’s inscription on his grave:
“D’ailleurs, c’est toujours les autres qui meurent;”
-
“Besides, it’s always other people who die.”
posted by ttseco on 3-3-2008 at 11:49 am
The only famous person’s grave I’ve ever been to (I think) is Charles Lindburgh’s. It’s pretty non-descript and it in a church that is really hidden away. If you don’t know where you’re going, it’s really easy to miss the street. I thought for someone so famous he would have a more interesting tombstone but I guess he was pretty much a recluse when he died and probably preferred his grave that way.
posted by CK on 3-3-2008 at 12:08 pm
not a famous person, but an eloquent one:
“Think of me when you pass by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, someday you’ll be,
as you pass by here, think of me”
posted by kristi on 3-3-2008 at 2:12 pm
“All things considered, I’d rather be here than in Philadelphia”
W.C. Fields headstone
posted by floyd landis on 3-3-2008 at 2:35 pm
Here are two of the best, I think.
First, Wm. Shakespeare’s…
“Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.”
Second, the epitaph that Benjamin Franklin wrote for himself when he was a young man. Alas, it never made it to his tombstone…
“The Body of
B. Franklin
Printer;
Like the Cover of an old Book,
Its Contents torn out,
And stript of its Lettering and Gilding,
Lies here, Food for Worms.
But the Work shall not be whlly lost:
For it will, as he believ’d, appear once more,
In a new & more perfect Edition,
Corrected and Amended
By the Author.”
posted by Mary on 3-3-2008 at 2:37 pm
I think of Some Like It Hot when I think of Jack Lemmon, too.
“DAPHNE!”
Hahahahahahahaha!
Also, Missing. That was a good one. He was up for an Oscar in that one. (Ben Kingsley won for Gandhi)
posted by Moon on 3-3-2008 at 5:14 pm
Kristi,
Your quote
“Think of me when you pass by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, someday you’ll be,
as you pass by here, think of me”
is part of a famous and powerful poem by Shelley:- look up Ozymandias in Wikipedia. Ozymandias was a name for Rameses II. Here is the entire poem, which is fitting here IMHO.
OZYMANDIAS
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter’d visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp’d on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock’d them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
posted by Gary B on 3-3-2008 at 5:22 pm
BTW, I saw Some Like It Hot in the theaters - original release. Hahahaha! I’m not a teenager, that’s for sure.
posted by Moon on 3-3-2008 at 7:44 pm
Flickr has a whole group (called pool) of interesting headstones.
flickr.com/groups/graveribbers/pool/
posted by Shailesh on 3-3-2008 at 7:46 pm
“I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.”
George Bernard Shaw
posted by Suddenly he on 3-3-2008 at 7:58 pm
The quote from WC Fields’ gravesite is wrong. It is in a masoleum in Forest Lawn (Glendale) in the L.A. area and simply has his name and birth/ death dates.
posted by Greg Bishop on 3-3-2008 at 8:57 pm
Frost, in his usual mischievous manner, asked for those words to be placed on his tombstone… in a poem! These words appear at the end of his poem titled “The Lesson for Today”:
And were an epitaph to be my story
I’d have a short one ready for my own.
I would have written of me on my stone:
I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.
posted by Allen on 3-3-2008 at 11:05 pm
My favorite is from the Tombstone cemetery. Lester Moore was a Wells Fargo station agent and when he tried to deliver a mangled package, there was an argument and guns were drawn. His epitaph:
HERE LIES LESTER MOORE
FOUR SLUGS FROM A 44
NO LES NO MORE
posted by Adrienne on 3-4-2008 at 12:09 am
I always liked the epitaph that Benjamin Franklin originally WANTED to put on his tombstone (though it never actually came to pass):
The body of
B. Franklin, Printer
(Like the Cover of an Old Book
Its Contents torn Out
And Stript of its Lettering and Gilding)
Lies Here, Food for Worms.
But the Work shall not be Lost;
For it will (as he Believ’d) Appear once More
In a New and More Elegant Edition
Revised and Corrected
By the Author.
posted by Peter on 3-4-2008 at 9:38 am
I don’t think anything beats the inscription on Clay Allison’s tomb: “He never killed a man that did not need killing.” (Allison was a famous gunslinger.)
posted by atomotomato on 3-4-2008 at 9:47 am
Nice collection! Thanks for the effort!
posted by Dave Greiman on 3-4-2008 at 9:59 am
A really great Jack Lemmon film is Save the Tiger, which I recently saw with my 21 year old son. We both loved it, he for the first time.
posted by Dan on 3-4-2008 at 10:28 am
A friend of mine recently passed away and we had this put on his headstone. It was something he used to say a lot.
“If you aim for nothing, you’re liable to hit it. If you reach for the stars, you’ll at least touch the sky.”
posted by unstablereality on 3-4-2008 at 10:42 am
The best I know is comedian Spike Milligan’s: “I Told You I Was Ill”
posted by Dan Owen on 3-4-2008 at 10:59 am
Great article and it does put things in perspective. No matter how famous you might be, or how much money you have, at the end all that is left of you is a memory. Live well, be happy and read Mental Floss, just because :-)
posted by Marvin on 3-4-2008 at 11:07 am
Kristi and Gary B:
the poem Kristi quotes is a nicer and less morbid version of the one found on many Puritan gravestones in Boston:
“Think of me as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now so you shall be
Prepare for death and follow me”
Those Puritans sure knew how to uplift a mourner’s soul.
posted by Dawn on 3-4-2008 at 11:16 am
My Uncle Waldo wanted this on his tombstone: “Here lies the shell. The nut’s gone home.”
posted by gerry hostetler on 3-4-2008 at 12:04 pm
I cannot read the first one for some reason. Can you please put quotes of what these stones say?
posted by Hosting Reviews on 3-4-2008 at 12:07 pm
@unstablereality: you just put that quote on his headstone. just like that?
you are quite an airhead, i imagine.
posted by Stoeckner on 3-4-2008 at 12:07 pm
Spike Milligan ftw.
“I told them I wasn’t feeling well”
posted by Susan on 3-4-2008 at 1:45 pm
I’m surprised at how modest some of those stones are.
posted by Matt on 3-4-2008 at 1:47 pm
My favorite is on the grave of Charles Bukowski. It reads, “Don’t Try.”
posted by Cory on 3-4-2008 at 2:39 pm
Unknown but a favourite:
“All my life i have tried my best to be a gentleman. Curse it! Look at me now!”
posted by Od_vjesala on 3-4-2008 at 4:00 pm
You’ve been pranked. Those Westwood tombstones were put in a few years ago in an area newly opened up for graves behind the older, original cemetary where Maryln Monroe, Armand Hammer, Minnie Ripperton, and other people are buried. They are fakes set up for tourists while the cemetary owner waits for someone to buy the plots. Didn’t you think they were a little too clever?!
posted by Benjamin Philips on 3-4-2008 at 8:52 pm
Having to do a homework assignment on some like it hot dont count….
posted by heh on 3-5-2008 at 7:29 am
www.tvokay.com for free movies and tv shows… check it out, it’s worth a bookmark
posted by kary on 3-5-2008 at 9:05 pm
Saw this one on a tubestone a while back
“The End”
posted by Mike on 3-5-2008 at 11:41 pm
My father-in-law was a stern, gruff character. He was always asking people, “What the hell is the matter with you?”
When he died my wife was trying to think of something to put on his tombstone. We ended up putting “What the hell is the matter with you?” in German on it. Since he was buried in the Lutheran graveyard, we had to get the board’s permission. They knew the man well and approved without any hesitation.
posted by Dennis on 3-6-2008 at 1:30 pm
I’m surprised that most or all of the tombstones are very plain. I’ve been to cemeteries in other countries (”third world”) where the tombstones are like works of art. Although that’s from a couple of centuries ago. Bue Edgar Allan Poe’s should be better, like a mausoleum.
posted by SandFlyer on 3-6-2008 at 9:51 pm
Oscar Wildes last words, while dying in a Paris flophouse:
“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do!”
My own epitath, which I’ve told my family to use:
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger”
posted by Rohn Jay Miller on 3-17-2008 at 8:41 am