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Jason English
Calling All Grammar Snobs
by Jason English - March 4, 2008 - 7:00 AM

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As a small percentage of you know, we have a weekly newsletter. Wednesday’s issue will (belatedly) celebrate National Grammar Day, a holiday created by the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar, or SPOGG. And if good grammar is important to you, I need your help.

I’m looking for grammar snobs not too high-and-mighty to realize there’s room for improvement. Let’s come together to make personal National Grammar Day resolutions. Whether your semicolon use is sloppy, you mix up ‘effect’ and ‘affect,’ or you’re too beholden to archaic grammar edicts (Don’t you dare split that infinitive!), let’s come together to better ourselves and our language. Leave your resolution in the comments, and we’ll share our favorites in Wednesday’s newsletter.

Happy National Grammar Day!

Update: And if you want to follow the trend and leave your grammar resolution in haiku form, that’d be fantastic.

Comments (66)
  1. I’ve never made a grammar resolution. I’ll start small.

    This year, I will try to always use “which” and “that” correctly.

    -John
    Atlanta, GA

  2. I always, always, always say “me and my friends.” So I am also going to start small, and try to say “my friends and I.”

    Baby steps!

    Kelly from Austin, Texas

  3. I’ve never made a grammar resolution either, but here we go.

    My resolutions will concern my oral grammar. This is hard, since I live in the south and everyone speaks this way.
    I will try to say “ing” instead of “in.’” I am not goin’ to the store; I am going to the store.
    I will not use ain’t.
    I will not say “got” in a present tense context. “I have a toy” instead of “I’ve got a toy.” This one, I think, will be hard because I see it in advertising.

  4. I will do my best not to mix up ’s and s’
    (apostrophes always get the best of me)

  5. My grammar resolution is to stop correcting other people’s grammar, which I do much too often!

  6. I will try not to shudder when someone incorrectly uses an adjective in the proper place of an adverb.

  7. Archaic grammar rules? The devil you say! Proper grammar never goes out of style. If the rest of the world will resolve to stop using reflexive pronouns where objective ones are required (”send a copy to Fred and myself” ACK!!), I will be a happy camper. Oh, and the past tense of “sneak” is “sneaked.” “Snuck” is worse than nails on a chalkboard. Now get those kids off of my lawn…

  8. Perscriptionist rantings make the linguistics student in me cry. :(

  9. I’ll try to stop getting in a fuss over the use of quotes to denote irony. I still refuse to use them, though.

  10. Could mental_floss make a resolution to correct the error in the Tuesday Turnip preamble?

    It’s time for another whimsical Tuesday Turnip search wherein I type a random phrase and we see what kind of interesting factoids “turn-up.”

    Turn up doesn’t need to be hyphenated or in speech marks. It irks me every time I see it!

    O.G.

  11. This year, I will try to cut back on my use of the word “like.” I will also try not to abuse my good friend the elipsis.

  12. I must agree with Fruppi. My over-use of “like” and the ellipsis is an abomination! I refuse to stop saying y’all, though–it keeps me Texan. ;-)

  13. Resolutions

    For myself:
    I resolve to eliminate the unnecessary hyphen. (e.g., time-honored, well-settled, above-mentioned)

    For my boss:
    He should resolve to remember that a shorter sentence isn’t always better — one well crafted sentence with commas and semicolons sometimes conveys a better meaning than three short, choppy sentences jammed unpleasantly together

    Plus one extra for myself (in haiku):

    Shudder not nor slap
    My colleagues in government
    Who use legalese

  14. Ooh, I should have asked everyone to make their resolutions in haiku. That would look good in an e-newsletter.

  15. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I promise to try
    To eliminate abuse
    Of exclamation
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. As a professor of English and composition, I could type for ages about common usage errors. Alas, I have only this little box.

    My resolution:

    A confession made–
    I forget how to use them:
    Lay, lie, laid, and lain.

  17. Searching for “Common Errors in English” on google gives a great site with examples for many mistakes people make.

    A sentence must not
    End with a preposition
    Proper grammar ahoy!

  18. My grammer has never been the greatest, but my resolution is a fairly difficult one. I will learn to properly use “who” and “whom”. Even though “who” is now widely accepted even among grammer purists.

  19. I’m with Bethany.
    Critiquing others’ grammar
    Makes me cynical.

    My rule suggestion
    Involves us recognizing
    “Less” versus “fewer.”

    Properly stated:
    “I have less money than you.”
    Money is ONE thing.

    Also, one may say:
    “I have fewer coins than you.”
    Since coins are counted.

  20. I resolve to stop cringing when people pronounce the ‘t’ in often and especially when they end a sentence with a preposition. I further resolve to stop using the answer d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y when someone asks me “how do you spell …..”.

    Okay, so I lied, I will NOT stop any of those things, because, well, dammit, grammar is important.

  21. easily confused
    or too lazy to find out
    i want “its” or it’s?”

    a formal paper
    present participles stink
    “ing”-ers are not good!

    writing papers with
    bankers with no grammar skills
    yikes! grammar police!!

  22. I consider grammar to be so important that I have mastered it in two languages. [Grammar in Hebrew, by the way, is “dikduk,” pron. ‘Deek-Dook.’] But I still make mistakes.

    “None are” is not right.
    “None” is “Not One” - So use “is.”
    “None of us is” - Yes!

  23. Could it be I’ve died
    and am now in Paradise,
    among grammarphiles?

    Olde Grammarian,
    That hyphen bothered me, too;
    let’s bid it adieu.

    John’s resolution
    is admirable as well.
    Best wishes to him!

    My resolution?
    I like Bethany’s, and yet
    I’m paid to correct.

  24. I resolve to learn
    How to write proper haiku(s).
    Methinks I succeed.

    Further, I won’t spurn
    Those who mistake words like ‘whose’
    and ‘who’s’ when I read.

  25. So qt314159265,where do you live? Here in the northwest, we include the ‘t’ in often. Old Webster shows both pronunciations, so cringe if you must but be aware that the other is also correct!
    Note: I deleted three extra commas from the bit above - my resolution!

  26. I resolve to attack others’ poor grammar only when they themselves use it while attacking someone else’s poor grammar.

  27. I will try and stop
    Overusing em dashes
    while writing—really!

  28. I vow to stop ending sentences with prepositions. It’s difficult, and makes me sound archaic, but I don’t care.

  29. I like Bethany’s! But alas, I will try to be a positive role model for all the folks who cannot master when to use I and when to use me. I recently received an email from a Master’s level Communication Studies student who advised us to “leave a message for her or I.”

  30. What’s a preposition?

  31. Can I do it in limerick form?

    Once while a student at school
    I broke all the comma rules
    They sent me to boot camp
    For fear of writer’s cramp
    Because, to my hand, my run on sentences were cruel

    I claim any grammatical errors as poetic license.

  32. For the greater good of all humanity, I would like to see the end of the office managers’ quasi-inspirational, spoken like a 2nd grade teacher, rhetorical question at the end of every sentence, such as “Don’t they?” “Shouldn’t we?” “Isn’t it?” “Couldn’t we?” A simple statement of fact will suffice, thanks.

  33. Two resolutions:

    I will strive to keep from becoming violently angry when I hear improper use of reflexive pronouns.

    And more importantly (and difficult), I will simply grit my teeth and move on when I hear oft-spoken redundancies, e.g. ‘the ATM machine’, ‘my PIN number’, and (worst of all, at least to me) ‘period of time’.

  34. I second John’s resolution. The proper usage of which and that is something I will never understand.

  35. when I was a kid, growing up in near Columbus Ohio in the 1950’s / 60’s there was a popular after school program called “Flippo the Clown” Flippo was the on air personality who hosted the show and did a stand up bit between cartoons, which was generally unscripted. He routinely stumbled over his dialog and often lampooned grammar purists with little quips like, “I’ve written a book on Grammar titled “How to Talk Good”. To get your copy please send $5.00 care of this station. Rumor had it that Flippo had an ongoing feud with “Grammar Snobs”, out in TV land, who thought he should set a better example for impressionable young minds. Who would think that a guy in full clown makeup, costume complete with big floppy shoes would be taken to task for improper grammar?

  36. I make too many mistakes to count myself, but I will not allow any of my students to think that the plural for “deer” is “deers.” Apparently South Park insists that it is deers, and my students fell for it.

  37. Kate’s suggestion should be the norm
    The limerick’s an excellent form
    The em-dash I admit I abuse
    More periods perhaps I should use
    That trait I pledge to reform.

  38. Sorry, but I can’t resist a good haiku-fest:

    Prescriptivism:
    If our dialects differ,
    Then yours must be wrong.

    Hark! Language Changes!
    New rules evolve over time.
    Get over it, y’all.

    I hate actin’ like a big ol’ stick-in-the-mud, so that’s the last anti-’National Grammar Day’ sentiment you’ll get from me. Have fun, _flossers!

    PS: For more fun with languages, grammar, and all things linguistic.. I highly recommend “Language Log”.

  39. I shall resolve to
    figure out when a comma
    goes before and, ‘K?

  40. With John from Georgia
    I’m in perfect harmony:
    “Which?” “that?”–my downfall.

    I’ve said it before,
    Terminal prepositions
    Are acceptable.

  41. Since I just received back an English paper where I had a few of these (usually a rarity), I resolve to lessen my use of comma splices.

  42. My resolution is to lessen my usage of the ellipsis…you know those three dots that often insinuate that there is more to come…I over use them quite often…there I go again!

  43. I do my damnedest not to end sentences in prepositions, such that many of my sentences become awkward and my friends make fun of me. I should work on that.

  44. Grammar will cease to
    be cast by the wayside when
    I’m text messaging

  45. I must tell you all this story. I am a Spanish teacher in East Texas. East Texas, as you may know, is the black hole of grammar. NO ONE uses correct grammar. I have even had a student tell me that “ventanas” (the Spanish word for “windows”) means “winders.” I hear these things all day and I must say, it drives me crazy. However, one day. (And this is not a racist story, but rather one of self-enlightenment) a young black student with a slight speech impediment came up to me and asked quietly, “M-M-M-M-MR. M-M-M-M-Meyers? (name changed to protect me) Is it h-h-harder for, like, black people to learn a foreign language b-b-b-because they, like, don’t speak English right?” And as a white teacher in a predominantly black school, how do you answer that question!? My reply was, after a long pause for me to reflect on my predicament, “Well, *Student*, it’s harder for anyone to learn a foreign language if they don’t speak their native language correctly.” So for everyone: If you want to learn to talk right in your own language, learn to talk another different language so you speak yours more correct. (last sentence spoken in my third language: East Texan)

  46. My grammar resolution is to remember the differences between hyphens, en-dashes, and em-dashes without having to look it up in the Chicago Manual of Style. As a manuscript editor, you’d think I’d know them by now.

  47. Time says to us all
    Grammar exposes the lay
    exalts the learned

  48. Recommendation:
    The book “Grammar Snobs Are Great
    Big Meanies.” Read it!

    (Seriously, in this book the author skewers the crustiest of grammar curmudgeons and also points out all the “rules” that are totally contradictory depending on if you’re looking in the Chicago manual, the AP Stylebook, or something else. She also manages to teach some things and is very funny in the process.)

  49. National Grammar Day Resolution: I will neither read nor purchase any newspaper that publishes paragraphs with only one sentence.

    A paragraph should have at least three related sentences. The first one should be written as a transition from the previous paragraph; the last, a transition to the next paragraph.

  50. I will try to use “the people is” instead of “the people are” (or at least “the peoples are”).

  51. I teach 4th grade in the south, and aptly enough, today was the state writing test. If my darlings used any sort of punctuation, I would be a happy teacher.
    As for myself, I should probably stop verbifying my nouns.

  52. @Tommy: I never knew what a subjective tense was until I took high school French. Who knew we had them in English? Ever since, I want to scream whenever I hear “was” when it should be “were”.

  53. I vow to try not to cringe when I hear people referred to as “that” instead of “who”. I just listened to eight tapes of college-level educators, all of whom make that little gem of a grammatical error.

  54. My resolution is to ensure that my daughter learns correct grammar regardless of what she learns from others.

    I also would like to remind people that many adverbs end in -ly. Every time I hear the words “I did bad” or “I did real good” I cringe.

    Lastly, and in my opinion the most annoying of all grammar mistakes, I will teach those close to me the difference between good and well. One is an adverb and one is an adjective, let’s all learn the difference.

  55. Lynnie, put back the commas!

  56. I work with coworkers who frequently say the following:
    1. “The point is is that….”
    2. “The bottom line is is that….”
    3. “Where are we at?”

    I promise not to hurt them.

  57. Words, language, grammar
    I love all of them dearly
    so lets make them fun

    There’s no need to be
    an arrogant S-O-B
    about someone’s style

    All people talk good
    Most of these grammar rules
    are just traditions

    Most people can use
    true syntax with no problem
    for their own dialect

    So let’s celebrate
    the wonder of language and
    let the small stuff be

  58. Re: the ending of a sentence with a preposition. I offer Winston Churchill’s opinion of the rule:

    “This is the sort of errant pedantry up with which I will not put.”

  59. After living in Texas I found it impossible to speak without addressing the plural you. There, they say y’all, and worse - y’all’s. To avoid this, I resorted to “you guys” and worse, “your guys’.” I vow to find an alternative.

  60. Aubrey, use y’all. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with y’all. Hehe.

    Seriously though, English is lacking, and we use our little improvizations - “y’all,” “youse guys,” etc. - to improve it. Y’all just happens to be a convenient one-word version.
    Then again, I love dialect - grammar snobs will hate my writing, I suspect.

  61. Though acceptable
    prepositions at phrase end
    truly horrify.

  62. they’re used too often
    in place of my trailing thoughts
    my three little friends…

  63. Clearly, my resolution should be to capitalize.

  64. I resolve to teach my dog to lie.

  65. I resolve not to
    cringe when people say “whenever”
    where “when” will suffice.

    “At” at the end of
    a sentence will not cause me
    to roll my eyes now.

    My overuse of
    like must stop. I will use
    other words instead.

  66. aubrey,
    an acceptable alternative to “y’all” (shudder) would be to simply switch languages. Vosotros is you all in spanish, and I believe that if I had learned before senior year of high school that a comma serves more functions than marking whenever one runs out of breath in a sentence, then the world would be a much more grammatically correct place (especially for the grammar-challenged, like me).

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