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It’s back!
Our ongoing caption contest resumes today with a submission from the hugely talented Mark Anderson.
To repeat the rules, the idea here is quite simple: Your job is to come up with a gag. Make us smile, make us laugh, extra-points for those who are able to drop some interesting fact or trivia along the way.We’ll narrow down the entries to our favorites and then let YOU guys pick one winner. Remember: when dropping your gag in the comments, also let us know which t-shirt you prefer in case your caption is selected the winner. (T-shirts can be found over in our store.)
As always, if you’re good with the pen and think YOU’D like to contribute a cartoon of your own for a future caption contest, or want to pitch me an idea for one, please leave a comment and I’ll be in touch with you via e-mail.
click cartoon to enlarge
Comments (207)
Comment
For the first time, beavers understood why people were anxious about outsourcing.
posted by François on 3-5-2008 at 12:19 am
Beaver 1: I kind of feel that the chainsaw isn’t in keeping with our dam building tradition.
Beaver 2: Really? How so?
posted by Chuck Seiders on 3-5-2008 at 12:35 am
Let’s turn around and see if we can hear it fall!
XL Marco Polo
posted by Sean on 3-5-2008 at 12:54 am
“….so yeah, I’m not using my teeth anymore.”
posted by FISHLEGBOOTS on 3-5-2008 at 1:01 am
Easter Island tshirt.
posted by FISHLEGBOOTS on 3-5-2008 at 1:02 am
“I’m on a diet”
Pluto-Medium
posted by Jake on 3-5-2008 at 1:15 am
What?.. How do YOU plan to increase your output?
Idiom - L
posted by austin on 3-5-2008 at 1:16 am
They offered me this instead of dental insurance.
Idiom - L
posted by austin on 3-5-2008 at 1:18 am
It came with my dental plan.
posted by Bob on 3-5-2008 at 1:24 am
“I’m thinking just fast food today.”
Mental Floss logo t
posted by William on 3-5-2008 at 1:24 am
Sheila loves my smile.
posted by Andy on 3-5-2008 at 1:25 am
“I just used whitening strips and I don’t want my teeth to get stained before tonight’s party.”
posted by Tdave on 3-5-2008 at 1:32 am
“I don’t know about you, but I’m sick, and tired, of getting splinters in my tongue!”
posted by Tdave on 3-5-2008 at 1:50 am
Teeth size! Teeth size! Baby, there’s more to this natural selection bit than just good genes.
mentalfloss XL
posted by William on 3-5-2008 at 2:33 am
‘i got it from this nice man from Texas. But he was wearing the most HIDEOUS mask’
posted by ithidet on 3-5-2008 at 3:32 am
yeah, gingivitis… but i can’t afford a day off right now…
posted by nworbekim on 3-5-2008 at 4:15 am
‘4 out of five dentists recommend this model’
posted by peter on 3-5-2008 at 4:37 am
“I just had a tooth pulled, and the dentist said to take it easy for a few days…”
Pluto, 2XL
posted by Dave R on 3-5-2008 at 5:13 am
“Well, I was watching Home Improvement last night and the idea just came to me!”
posted by Amy on 3-5-2008 at 6:14 am
Look, all that “Nature’s engineers” stuff was fun, but now that EVERYONE has a camera phone, it’s only a matter of time before some ecotourist busts us, so why not come clean?
posted by Li on 3-5-2008 at 6:15 am
I got a great deal on this chainsaw. Drew Peterson actually gave me money to take it.
pythagoras M
posted by Rich on 3-5-2008 at 6:47 am
“‘Use my teeth?!?!’ Geez, Frank, this is the 21st century! Get with the program…”
posted by Lisa on 3-5-2008 at 6:55 am
“The dentist said this is the best way to correct my over-bite.”
Mendel -Small
posted by Chris on 3-5-2008 at 7:03 am
“I’m on the new South BEECH diet…”
Entropy
XXL
posted by KevinS on 3-5-2008 at 7:05 am
‘Willie tries to convince his brother Wendal to help him build a dam house.’
Men’s Beethoven Medium please
posted by Andrew on 3-5-2008 at 7:08 am
“When you said you have a 14″ tool on your myspace profile, I wasn’t expecting this”
Fibonacci M
posted by Jax on 3-5-2008 at 7:13 am
“Smart choice. I bought used underwear on eBay with my pocket money.”
posted by Ajay on 3-5-2008 at 7:20 am
That’s it! I’m going to SHOW them how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodhuck could chuck wood!
Scurvy Tshirt
posted by Nick on 3-5-2008 at 7:26 am
“I’m from the Future. Come with me if you want to live.”
Fibonacci
posted by mark on 3-5-2008 at 7:30 am
“Q has really been slacking off, hasn’t he? I heard Bond only got a quantum of solace.”
Pavlov Medium
posted by Noiz on 3-5-2008 at 7:33 am
“What? I have sensitive teeth.”
Pavlov XXL
posted by Dave on 3-5-2008 at 7:41 am
“I heard cutting down trees kills them polar bears. You want to give it a try?”
posted by Mad on 3-5-2008 at 7:45 am
Well, they changed the dental plan, so…
Fibonacci Large
posted by Sheila on 3-5-2008 at 7:51 am
I get the White meat!!
posted by Frankie on 3-5-2008 at 8:01 am
“We’re going to show those woodchucks whose boss once and for all.”
On a sidenote: Beavers smell absolutely awful. Really. (Go ahead and giggle.)
Idiom- M
posted by Regkins on 3-5-2008 at 8:04 am
“Look, all I’m saying is if Danika Patrick wants to stuff you in her trunk, I’ve got your back.
simple as pie, L
posted by Terrance on 3-5-2008 at 8:12 am
Come on - Everybody else is doing it!
Pluto - XL
posted by Rob on 3-5-2008 at 8:14 am
Look, I know it seems like I’m being lazy, but my boss told me I needed to learn new skills and all the Microsoft Office training classes were all booked up.
Pluto XL
posted by Steve F on 3-5-2008 at 8:21 am
“My orthodontist suggested it.”
posted by Robby on 3-5-2008 at 8:22 am
“No, Larry, it’s called a ‘moblile ‘home,’ and they’re all the rage around here.”
posted by Justin on 3-5-2008 at 8:25 am
marx- sharing is caring
posted by Justin on 3-5-2008 at 8:26 am
“Yeah - they’re Invisalign. The ortho said my teeth were too straight.”
rhesus ladies l
posted by Liz on 3-5-2008 at 8:28 am
Doctor’s order–apparently I’m getting too much fiber in my diet.
posted by Nicole on 3-5-2008 at 8:33 am
Don’t judge, man. Not all of us can gnaw through an oak so easily.
Scurvy small, please!
posted by Allison on 3-5-2008 at 8:36 am
“…and I won’t until there’s universal dental coverage!”
(Entropy T-shirt, XXL)
posted by endomental on 3-5-2008 at 8:36 am
“In order to see the forest, you must cut down this tree”
entropy, L
posted by Ben on 3-5-2008 at 8:38 am
I thought that if we dressed up like beavers, we wouldn’t feel so bad about cutting down the forest.
Pluto - M
posted by Joe on 3-5-2008 at 8:45 am
“What with the foreclosure, I figured I’d just build my own house - the bank can’t take that away.”
Lady Macbeth - XL
posted by KJ on 3-5-2008 at 8:49 am
I can’t afford my dental insurance any more.
Fionacci XL
posted by Ian on 3-5-2008 at 8:51 am
With gas prices so high, I was thinking of going old school and using my teeth today.
Easter Island - M
posted by Dan on 3-5-2008 at 8:53 am
“A petrified forest calls for some backup. Are you with me?”
Pluto - M
posted by Eric on 3-5-2008 at 8:57 am
‘You know, I just don’t get the fiber in my diet like i use to.”
posted by Siljanna on 3-5-2008 at 8:58 am
“On sale at Sears. Why do you ask?”
Pluto - M
posted by Eric on 3-5-2008 at 8:58 am
“Studies show that heart disease is twice as high in PEOPLE with periodontal disease. Why risk it?”
Mental Floss - M
posted by Ryan on 3-5-2008 at 9:05 am
“PEOPLE with periodontal disease are at twice the risk for heart attacks. Why risk it?”
Mental Floss - M
posted by Ryan on 3-5-2008 at 9:10 am
“Gee Wally, mom’s not gonna like that.”
pythagoras 2xl
posted by Nick on 3-5-2008 at 9:20 am
You want me to do what with my mouth?
posted by Andy on 3-5-2008 at 9:21 am
“I told you I never took any performance enhancing drugs”
posted by Big Kev on 3-5-2008 at 9:22 am
Marx: Sharing IS Caring XXL
posted by Big Kev on 3-5-2008 at 9:23 am
“…because I found using a handsaw just takes too long.”
posted by Dinghao on 3-5-2008 at 9:26 am
“YOU’RE asking ME why my jaws are tired?”
posted by Chris on 3-5-2008 at 9:27 am
It’s the 21st century. Who has time to chew their food?
Mendel XL
posted by Tom on 3-5-2008 at 9:29 am
“Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?”
posted by Ramen on 3-5-2008 at 9:31 am
“It’s called cramming for the final”
Mental Floss - XL
posted by terry on 3-5-2008 at 9:31 am
“There you go! We are not Siamese twins any more.”
posted by Roy on 3-5-2008 at 9:32 am
“Damn treehuggers won’t even let me build a house!”
posted by Mike on 3-5-2008 at 9:38 am
I have had it with the wood always pounding the beaver…
mentalfloss XL
posted by Rodney on 3-5-2008 at 9:43 am
Yeah, you, um, you weren’t supposed to see this…
posted by Pearl on 3-5-2008 at 9:43 am
You will enter me now more…
mentalfloss XL
posted by Rodney on 3-5-2008 at 9:43 am
“Work ethic, shmerk-ethic.”
Mental Floss - XXL
posted by Craig on 3-5-2008 at 9:44 am
“3 out 4 dentists prefer chainsaws for their patients who chew trees.”
posted by Adam on 3-5-2008 at 9:45 am
edit to my above post:
It will enter me no more…
mentalfloss XL
posted by Rodney on 3-5-2008 at 9:45 am
I’ve been craving me some Beaver Jerky.
Chromosome-M
posted by Patrick on 3-5-2008 at 9:50 am
What? So I’m outsourcing. Who isn’t?
Idioms - M
posted by BJ on 3-5-2008 at 9:51 am
“For the same reason humans with driver’s licenses pay to ride go karts.”
- Fibonacci Med
posted by Aaron on 3-5-2008 at 9:57 am
“Weak tooth enamel.”
Rhesus, medium.
posted by Codius on 3-5-2008 at 10:11 am
Dude, you’re not a tree hugger are you?
posted by It's good to be the King on 3-5-2008 at 10:16 am
What is your CO2 offset plan for chopping down this tree?
posted by It's good to be the King on 3-5-2008 at 10:17 am
“Are you here for Remedial Tree Chopping at 4?”
posted by Michele on 3-5-2008 at 10:33 am
“jim, i’d appreciate your discretion regarding this matter.”
posted by ashley on 3-5-2008 at 10:34 am
Ashlee Simpson lip syncs, i teeth sync…‘rrr-rrrrr-rrrrrrrrrr’
pluto xl
posted by BS on 3-5-2008 at 10:39 am
I just got my braces off and Mom said she’d kill me if she caught me gnawing on anything!
Ladies Pluto XL please
posted by Lisa H on 3-5-2008 at 10:44 am
Don’t worry, it’s a hybrid.
posted by Hugh on 3-5-2008 at 10:46 am
“What!?! I just had my teeth cleaned.”
XL Rocket Surgeon T-shirt
posted by Anne on 3-5-2008 at 10:49 am
“Yeah, so this is the one I’m going to use in my copyright infringement case against the chainsaw manufacturers. We’re the ones with the sharp, chisel-like incisor teeth that come with a lifetime warranty. Plus, these teeth are covered in iron just like ours are.” I’m telling you Ned, you should get on board with this. We’ve been cut out of these profits for way too long.”
posted by Michele on 3-5-2008 at 10:49 am
“Yeah, ever since the company dropped our dental coverage, I’ve had to go this route. Plus, it saves quite a bit of time.”
posted by Kate on 3-5-2008 at 10:53 am
“and now, son, I’m gonna let you in on a little family secret. you go over there and be my lookout while daddy does some work, and if you see anyone coming just thump your tail on the ground real hard…we’ll show the Johnsons who can cut more wood…”
And thus began the Great Wood War of ‘08
world physics M
posted by Steph on 3-5-2008 at 10:54 am
I am not a tool for using this tool!!!!
pluto xl
posted by BS on 3-5-2008 at 11:08 am
“Go get the wood chipper before someone notices he’s missing”
posted by Jettro on 3-5-2008 at 11:11 am
“I’m a Master Black Belt in Six Sigma. You’ve gotta trust me on this one.”
Marco Polo - XL
posted by Brad on 3-5-2008 at 11:15 am
When Jack Bauer was forced to go undercover, he found that some habits are hard to let go of.
posted by Samantha on 3-5-2008 at 11:22 am
Confucius say “One chainsaw in hand worth two teeth in mouth”
posted by BS on 3-5-2008 at 11:26 am
“Don’t look at me like that! Marge had a coupon for the knock-off polygrip, and with the prices of everything today, those kids are eating me out of house and home!”
posted by Amy on 3-5-2008 at 11:28 am
“And you said kidnapping those loggers and locking them in the basement was a bad idea!”
Rocket Surgeon T-shirt XXL
posted by Jason on 3-5-2008 at 11:34 am
you mean you aren’t a union member?
posted by John on 3-5-2008 at 11:46 am
It’s just one dam project after another, isn’t it? Fortunately, I’ve decided to cheat.
Simple as 3.141592
Medium
posted by Lora on 3-5-2008 at 11:50 am
Well, look on the bright side. At least we’re ISO 9000 certified now.
Easter Island M
posted by Josh on 3-5-2008 at 11:54 am
I don’t have dental insurance.
posted by Mortal Light on 3-5-2008 at 12:14 pm
My plan doesn’t cover vision…
Pi xl
posted by Fan on 3-5-2008 at 12:17 pm
“My wife found out I’ve had some other beaver on the side and kicked me out of the house. I need a new place in a hurry.”
women’s scurvy small please
posted by Brandy on 3-5-2008 at 12:17 pm
Because this one is blocking my view of the forest.
posted by Julia on 3-5-2008 at 12:18 pm
“So this is how the guy explained it to me. First we slash and then we burn. It’s that easy.”
Forever Jung-Large
posted by Scott on 3-5-2008 at 12:23 pm
“So yea the commercials told me that I can’t live without this”
posted by Ryan on 3-5-2008 at 12:32 pm
I’ve been using this thing ever since Richard Kiel got those teeth in the ’70s and tried to move in on my territory. Enamel just doesn’t hold up to steel, but Jaws really can’t compete with Husqvarna.
posted by John K on 3-5-2008 at 12:35 pm
Marco Polo XL
posted by John K on 3-5-2008 at 12:35 pm
“… and then George pulls a golfball out of his pocket.”
posted by Russell on 3-5-2008 at 12:41 pm
“Got a grant from the Army Corps of Engineers. Seems they need to improve their dam-building technique.”
Men’s L - pi
posted by Christine on 3-5-2008 at 12:42 pm
Can’t stop progress, dude.
posted by DW on 3-5-2008 at 12:46 pm
“My doctor said I have Mandibular Dysfunction.”
Lady Macbeth Hand Soap
M
posted by J. Horne on 3-5-2008 at 12:49 pm
Doc says I need more fiber.
posted by Michelle on 3-5-2008 at 12:51 pm
“…for the tree? Nah, just broke up why my girlfriend”
posted by Phrank on 3-5-2008 at 1:01 pm
“I think the real question here is where did I get opposible thumbs.”
posted by Jonathan on 3-5-2008 at 1:10 pm
“I think the real question here is, where did I get opposible thumbs.”
Idioms are for the Birds
M
posted by Jonathan on 3-5-2008 at 1:23 pm
“I had sex with your wife”
posted by bill on 3-5-2008 at 1:23 pm
“I don’t care about your stupid intervention- I don’t have a chucking problem and I’m going to keep chucking wood!”
posted by Kelly J on 3-5-2008 at 1:26 pm
Oh yea… pluto shirt, women’s L
posted by Kelly J on 3-5-2008 at 1:26 pm
Help me out pal? They made it in Beaver size, but my arms are still too short to get it started.
Pluto - L
posted by Chris on 3-5-2008 at 1:27 pm
“No, the dentures aren’t really working out”.
Entropy-mens med.
posted by adrian on 3-5-2008 at 1:29 pm
Pavlov Long-Sleeved Shirt-xl
sorry i got busy at work
was entry
‘You know, I just don’t get the fiber
posted by Siljanna on 3-5-2008 at 1:33 pm
“Isn’t this making global warming worse?”
“Nah, it runs on biofuel!”
women’s pavlov t-shirt
posted by Korin on 3-5-2008 at 1:35 pm
Hey, I’m a busy beaver.
Jung, S
posted by Tyrone on 3-5-2008 at 1:51 pm
“fuck this tree.”
posted by david on 3-5-2008 at 2:15 pm
They weren’t kidding when they said, “Call your doctor if it lasts more than 4 hours!”
posted by JohnD on 3-5-2008 at 2:19 pm
OOPS! Rhesus XL
posted by JohnD on 3-5-2008 at 2:24 pm
It’s recently been revealed that FDR’s New Deal had a broader effect than ever imagined.
Idioms - L
posted by Liz on 3-5-2008 at 2:35 pm
My TMJ has been acting up lately…
Rhesus in medium
posted by Deanne on 3-5-2008 at 2:49 pm
it puts the lotion in the basket, or it gets the saw
2xL shirt of any
posted by Doug K on 3-5-2008 at 2:58 pm
“I know the judge said Franny was entitled to half- but this is ridiculous.”
marx/sharing- M
posted by Justin on 3-5-2008 at 3:27 pm
“Well, those pesky kids wont be bothering us anymore. Quick, help me bury this thing.”
Rhesus Large
posted by Matt on 3-5-2008 at 3:59 pm
It’s better than the time she knit me that sweater…
PI women’s M
posted by septer on 3-5-2008 at 4:11 pm
“If you don’t shut up, I’ll cut you nuts off!”
posted by freeze on 3-5-2008 at 4:16 pm
With the other beavers using performance enhancing drugs we gotta keep up some how
rhesus xl
posted by Colin on 3-5-2008 at 4:27 pm
“It holds 1000 songs too”
I love lucy- large
posted by chuck on 3-5-2008 at 4:35 pm
It’s either this, or we outsource to India.
-Pluto, extra medium
posted by Tanya on 3-5-2008 at 4:36 pm
“It’s really easy, choke, then pull the cord.”
Rhesus M
posted by Matt on 3-5-2008 at 4:37 pm
“Do you think I really care about asterisks?”
idioms - L
posted by Russell on 3-5-2008 at 4:46 pm
And the oil crisis was only the analogous epidermal horn that broke the egg that the beavers liked to call “technological advantage.”
posted by Ed on 3-5-2008 at 4:59 pm
Let’s play a little game to help you study for your tree test. For every wrong answer, I chop one down. No pressure.
posted by Katie on 3-5-2008 at 5:19 pm
“My plan? I was going to chase Jessica Biel around with it for a while. Why?”
Pluto XL
posted by Sillstaw on 3-5-2008 at 5:20 pm
“Does this chainsaw make me look fat?”
posted by Eric on 3-5-2008 at 6:17 pm
“Don’t you think we’ll get into trouble with the union?”
Simple as 3.14159 Women’s large
posted by Mary on 3-5-2008 at 6:36 pm
cheating-schmeating. i’m all about working smarter not harder.
scurvy ladies m
posted by mer on 3-5-2008 at 6:38 pm
Listen buddy, start chewing or I am going to chainsaw you in two and make beaver stew.
posted by Cheddarben on 3-5-2008 at 7:03 pm
“Are you kidding me? Who’s putting this on U-Tube? Where’s the camera?”
posted by Mom on 3-5-2008 at 7:04 pm
The North Dakota Null-Hypothesis Brain Inventory Test already told me that beavers work too hard. Do you salivate at the sight of mittens?
I’d like the Karl Marx shirt if I win, please.
posted by Jeremy on 3-5-2008 at 7:06 pm
Trust me, Vinnie.
We drag about a hundred of these down to the river, and in a few years, we’ll corner the market on domestic rice production.
rocket surgeon, Women’s med
posted by HollyS on 3-5-2008 at 7:13 pm
“No it’s ok, I consulted Thoreau and this falls under Civil Disobedience.”
lady Macbeth - M
posted by Jonathan on 3-5-2008 at 8:33 pm
“Actually, I do think recent technological advances are becoming unnecessary. Why do you ask?”
Fibonacci, women’s large please.
posted by heather on 3-5-2008 at 8:42 pm
We’ll finish in an hour, hit the bar, and tell the wives we worked all day.
Easter Island (Large)
posted by Jim J on 3-5-2008 at 8:46 pm
NSFW??
What’s a beaver supposed to do with a giant dildo?
PI shirt xxl
posted by drHoward on 3-5-2008 at 9:06 pm
“So let me get this right… You’ve been doing this with your friggen TEETH!?!?”
Karl Marx, XL please!
posted by Kris on 3-5-2008 at 9:27 pm
“Ironically, this chainsaw runs on wood chips.”
posted by wordgnome on 3-5-2008 at 9:44 pm
“Did I not tell you? We are moving to the park on the other side of town.”
Idioms XL
posted by Terry on 3-5-2008 at 9:53 pm
“I am NOT a cartoon.”
M, Fibonacci
posted by Ash on 3-5-2008 at 10:17 pm
We’re dammed if we use this and dammed if we don’t.
Easter Island (Large) Please.
posted by Jim J on 3-5-2008 at 10:18 pm
I drink your milkshake! Drink it up!
Pi Xl
posted by Liz on 3-5-2008 at 10:52 pm
Johnny’s IEP has given him the tools to perform on the same level as his peers, yet he finds that he still can’t quite fit in.
Entropy-L
posted by Lauren on 3-6-2008 at 12:03 am
Well… you were always complaining about my morning breath.
posted by ramon on 3-6-2008 at 12:05 am
When humans start conserving gasoline, I will go back to using my teeth.
posted by CapeCodBob on 3-6-2008 at 12:26 am
Come on Larry its 2008, the old ways just aren’t efficient anymore.
posted by Ian on 3-6-2008 at 1:13 am
We’ll show those woodchucks what-for
Marx -XL
posted by Jeremy on 3-6-2008 at 1:32 am
I told you, this’ll go faster if i carve an army of wood beavers!
posted by chuck on 3-6-2008 at 2:03 am
“How much wood could a wood chuck chuck?”
“About one tanks worth, then I have to go home for dinner.”
Lrg Achilles
posted by Jared Probst on 3-6-2008 at 2:09 am
No, technically this is not a violation of union bylaws…. Technically speaking, this is a Swiss-Army Knife!
XY Chromosome Tee - Large please
posted by Jon Woods on 3-6-2008 at 2:14 am
Stop your “dam” whining and cut down the tree!
posted by James Reardon on 3-6-2008 at 2:31 am
“Your grandma used to shove poplar down our throats, but your mother and me think you’re old enough to have a choice.”
Pluto, M
posted by Andrej on 3-6-2008 at 6:40 am
I’m telling you it’s a real phobia, just like people who are terrified of clowns. Now stop playing Freud and put on your f*#&ing goggles!
rocket surgeon - XL
posted by Steve-O on 3-6-2008 at 6:59 am
I’m telling you it’s a real phobia, like people terrified of clowns. Now stop playing Freud and put on your F-ing goggles!
posted by Steve on 3-6-2008 at 7:10 am
What’s a cubit?
Idioms XXL
posted by Tom on 3-6-2008 at 7:48 am
That’s the last time anybody chains themselves to my tree…
rhesus medium
posted by Jud on 3-6-2008 at 7:54 am
“Listen, if want Guinness to put us in the books, we’re going to have to beat the 2,140 foot long dam Chuck built up in Three Forks, Montana. And we’re not doing it the old fashioned way.”
Easter Island, Small please :)
posted by Brittany on 3-6-2008 at 8:08 am
“dude! do you have any idea how hard it is to get woodchips out of my braces? no? alright, can we get back to work?”
pluto, women’s large please and thank you.
posted by kat on 3-6-2008 at 8:21 am
Well, Brigit, I hate to do it this way, but I’ve found someone else.
posted by Jordan on 3-6-2008 at 8:32 am
“I’ll get started on this one, you take care of the rest.”
Fibonacci, Medium
posted by Greg on 3-6-2008 at 8:34 am
David, I also draw cartoons and would be glad to submit one for another caption contest. Shoot me an e-mail please.
posted by Greg on 3-6-2008 at 8:40 am
“Where shall I go? What shall I do?”
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a dam.”
Kinetic Energy-L
posted by Holly on 3-6-2008 at 10:21 am
“Yeah, I stole this from a logger on the other side of the forest. I’m just trying to help save our environment.”
Ladies Rhesus-XL
posted by lmborgmeyer on 3-6-2008 at 10:25 am
Suddenly Charles began to doubt Martin’s insistence that his dear wife had been killed via bear mauling.
lady macbeth - m
posted by jonathan on 3-6-2008 at 10:28 am
“It’s either this, or flossing twice a day.”
women’s kinetic energy xl
posted by Augusta on 3-6-2008 at 10:36 am
“I just don’t feel like climbing today.”
Fibonacci - XL
posted by Dominic on 3-6-2008 at 11:25 am
How else are we supposed to keep up with that planned three-day Grand Canyon flood?
Women’s Fibonacci - L
posted by charlyn on 3-6-2008 at 1:17 pm
Another dam foreclosure!
Men’s Rhesus (XXL)
posted by Sondra on 3-6-2008 at 2:19 pm
I saw a sticker that said nice beavers swallow, but then I got SPLINTERS (Sawing Pine Lovers Inadequate NeuroTransmitting Erectile Reduction Syndrome).
Pluto - XL
posted by Rob on 3-6-2008 at 5:01 pm
It’s not you, it’s me.
Hyperbole, Women’s M
posted by Jessica on 3-6-2008 at 7:16 pm
“That’s right, I just signed an endorsement deal with Black & Decker…deal with it.
Pluto R.I.P.- medium
posted by RayB on 3-6-2008 at 8:58 pm
No matter how much I trim, the bush just keeps growing back.
Pluto - XL
posted by Rob on 3-7-2008 at 9:33 am
CHAINS — WE CAN BELIEVE IN
Pluto - XL
posted by Rob on 3-7-2008 at 9:41 am
Bush has got to go.
Pluto - XL
posted by Rob on 3-7-2008 at 9:49 am
I’m starring in the prequel Bambo: First Sap
posted by Rob on 3-7-2008 at 10:13 am
Forgot to add shirt to my above post.
Pluto - XL
posted by Rob on 3-7-2008 at 10:14 am
Toothpick?
posted by Worth on 3-7-2008 at 12:10 pm
“The Carpal Tunnel accommodations are pretty helpful.”
Pi - XXL
posted by Brad on 3-7-2008 at 1:02 pm
“Ebay is your friend.”
mentalfloss xl
posted by William on 3-9-2008 at 1:13 pm
“Darwin Awards, here I come!”
mentalfloss xl
posted by William on 3-9-2008 at 3:33 pm
“Extended warranty! What, do I look like a lemming?”
posted by William on 3-9-2008 at 6:01 pm
…just ’til november.
posted by Donna on 3-9-2008 at 6:51 pm
Nuts! We’re outta gas.
posted by Chris McCurry on 3-10-2008 at 10:31 am
Are you sure it’s jelly-filled?
posted by Jason K. Ganley on 3-13-2008 at 1:08 am
I vote ‘m’
posted by jen on 3-13-2008 at 8:01 am
you wanna knaw away all day or you wanna get this done?
posted by ben p on 3-13-2008 at 12:17 pm
K
posted by Fork on 3-13-2008 at 1:54 pm
“what’s the problem man? we’re not Amish beavers.”
posted by kim on 3-13-2008 at 4:25 pm
When Amish beavers turn 17.
posted by kim on 3-13-2008 at 4:34 pm
When Amish beavers turn 18, they are given the choice to leave their simple ways behind…
posted by Kim on 3-13-2008 at 4:58 pm
Son, two words: gum disease. Brush everyday or this your future.
posted by digimikek on 3-13-2008 at 9:30 pm
“I know doing it the old-fashioned way is soooo Pleistocene Era, but I can’t afford the gas to run the thing anymore.”
Surprise me. 3X, because I like ‘em big.
posted by chieromancer on 5-31-2008 at 2:56 pm
“I swear to God I didn’t do it!”
posted by chieromancer on 6-7-2008 at 4:41 pm