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Stephen Colbert continues his reign as King of Geeks this week; yesterday he took the title for coining the top television buzzwords of the year: “truthiness” and “wikiality.” We agree with Gawker about the general lame-itude of the proceedings (”Katie?” “Katrina?” last we checked, these were first names, not important-sounding technical words used to impress laymen), but we do like funny words, and we do like contests. So in that spirit, and also in David’s spirit, this week for our contest we’re asking you to coin a new word. The rules:
Use it in a sentence. A real one, too, not “Mynewword is the-meaning-of-mynewword.”
Be relevant. Entries that relate to someone/something in the news will fare best.
Be funny. And if we have to explain this one, you’ll probably have to work a little harder than most.
You know the drill: Leave your answer in the comments or email us at tips-at-mentalfloss.com. The winner gets our brand-new Pluto-themed t-shirt. Also, we (and by “we” I mean “I”) will encourage the winning word’s entry into the general lexicon by using it once a day, all next week, right here on this blog.
Comments (67)
Comment
>>Also, we (and by “we” I mean “me”) will encourage…
we:I :: us:me
posted by Doug on 8-28-2006 at 5:33 pm
Yep, Professor Doug is right; fixed.
posted by Mary on 8-28-2006 at 5:37 pm
K-fed-ified: having your upcoming album be denigrated before anyone even hears. Usually due to whom you’ve decided to marry for money.
ex: Danny Bonnaduce’s new album “Roid-Rage” was k-fed-ified instantly after its announcement.
posted by Marika on 8-28-2006 at 5:42 pm
Blog-flume: The pattern of slowly rising coverage in popular blogs followed by a precipitous plunge into relative obscurity.
ex: Looks like John Mark Karr’s blog-flume ride is over since his DNA didn’t match. Now he’s all wet.
posted by Chris on 8-28-2006 at 5:54 pm
Targasm: An ecstatic shopping experience at a Target store.
Example: I got new dishes, dog food, a bra, excellent knock off sunglasses and a birthday present for my neighbor’s daughter all for less than $100 — it was a targasm.
posted by Marcy on 8-28-2006 at 6:45 pm
How long until someone else makes a “Karrnfession” to get free transportation?
“Uh, yeah, I killed Don Ho! Can I get extradited to Hawaii now?”
posted by Dave Goodman on 8-28-2006 at 7:16 pm
-lexihumorelativancy-
The act of creating a new word that is funny, relative to the request for same and able to be used in a sentence.
posted by Sheldon on 8-28-2006 at 7:33 pm
Plutonic Relationship: A romantic relationship which has recently been downsized to “just friends.”
Example: While the gravity of my personality used to have Sherry completely attracted to me, I have felt small and insignificant since our closeness degraded into a plutonic relationship.
posted by Norm on 8-28-2006 at 7:48 pm
harristory: The recognition that all past and present leaders are hand selected by God.
By the grace of God, many have come to power in harristory: Ghengis Khan, Hitler, Ivan, Bush.
posted by Kristin on 8-28-2006 at 8:36 pm
Spinkled-The feeling experienced when school starts up again. Usually the feelings of elation because of moving out of the parents house and experiencing independent life with the simultanous feeling of concern and guilt for leaving your parents and/or home-sickness.
posted by Abby on 8-28-2006 at 10:08 pm
Here are a couple planet related words:
Pluton - a really small particle of feces that is emitted during flatulence. (”After awhile, thousands of plutons accumulate in a man’s underwear, leaving a mark.”)
Neptunize - to gain in prominence simply because those around you have failed. (”If another employee gets canned, Phil will have neptunized his way all the way to VP.”)
Uranusitosis – the condition of having too much junk in the trunk. (Sir Mix a Lot: “I like big butts, and I cannot lie. But that butt is just too big. Unhealthy even. You should get yourself checked out for Uranusitosis.”)
posted by Bob on 8-28-2006 at 10:37 pm
Ecotist: a person who believes s/he might be contributing to global warming but refuses to trade the Hummer for a Prius.
posted by Adrienne on 8-28-2006 at 11:01 pm
Craptastic (adj.) – of, or having the quality of crap
Exe; The fact that Barry Manilow was voted by his peers as more worthy of an Emmy than Stephen Colbert is so craptastic that I had to will myself not to hit the television out of sheer disappointment, anger, and nausea.
posted by Andrea on 8-28-2006 at 11:45 pm
Personflict: a conflict that arises between persons with opposing personalities.
Usage: Though I have never met her, I believe I would have a personflict with Laura Bush. Her permanently fixated smile and seemingly nonchalant attitude towards her husband’s destroying of the planet do not bode well with my disdain for anything and everything in the republican party.
posted by Isaias Torres on 8-29-2006 at 12:39 am
Grammiority complex: the exaggerated estimate of your own importance based on your tendency to correct the trivial grammar mistakes of others
Example:
“Do we really need to have a conversation about the nominative and objective cases of pronouns? It will only feed that guy’s grammiority complex.”
posted by Doug on 8-29-2006 at 12:40 am
Polutoed: the act of downgrading a planet to near insignificance so it can be used as the Earth’s nuclear waste dump.
We were going to send our nuclear waste to Nevada for burial but NASA loaded it on an Atlas missile and it was Polutoed.
posted by Adrienne on 8-29-2006 at 2:24 am
Poddy: to party while listening to an iPod.
Example: Last night Elise brought her iPod over and we poddied until 3 AM.
posted by Abi on 8-29-2006 at 5:07 am
I probably shouldn’t be doing this, considering I won last week, but, hey, the Emmys let you win year after year after…
First, a term I’ve been trying to promote for years:
“UGOTO” (pronounced you-go-too), which is an acronym for Uncanny Grasp Of The Obvious, a phrase turned long ago by Howard Cosell as a put-down to a shallow commentator (10 points if you know who he said it to)…
“Did he say things are troubled in the Middle East? UGOTO man, he’s totally UGOTO.”
—
“Velvacho” refers to a person who is like nachos made with Velveeta, kinda cheesy, awful greasy, but not very spicy.
“You think Jessica Simpson is hot? Man, she’s totally Velvacho!”
—
more later…
posted by wendell on 8-29-2006 at 6:45 am
I added this to Urbandictionary previously, but it fits:
coulter -
noun. A book or an op-ed that is rife with distortions, falsehoods, or plagiarized passages
Example:
“Did you read the latest coulter in the Washington Times? What a load of crap!”
posted by Hudge on 8-29-2006 at 7:37 am
Unrenessitudinality: that state in which one is highly motivated to exhibit a strategic, focused and proactive apathy towards a given idea, subject, or object.
posted by Randy Kirchhof on 8-29-2006 at 8:06 am
Ha! Doug wins the charm award for the day.
posted by Mary on 8-29-2006 at 8:15 am
It looks like from Wendell we can have multiple submissions (And everyone’s using my Pluto!) - so here goes another go.
Wikicide: The act of uselessly attempting to delete massive amounts of wiki information, either for malicious purposes or in order to clear one’s own name.
Example: And for mass wikicide paired with general stupidity, I sentence this politician to two weeks ridicule in the blogosphere and inclusion in seventy-four horrible youtube remixes.
posted by Norm on 8-29-2006 at 8:21 am
Norm, I got a million of ‘em, and I gotta make room for the ‘07 models so they’ve got to go go go!!
—
“Wal-come” is the kind of meaningless communication you get from a WalMart greeter.
“The first half-hour of the meeting was nothing but Wal-come…”
—
“Headonate” is when something is repeated so often and so incessantly it gives you a headache (like the “HeadOn” commercial.”
“Those White House statements that keep invoking ‘9/11′ are really starting to get headonating.”
—
“Pundontry” (pronounced pun-doan-tree) is advice that is questionable just because of its source, from the practice of TV news pundits from one party suggesting what the other party should do.
“Your ex-girlfriend said you didn’t have to give your new girlfriend flowers? That’s a load of pundontry!”
posted by wendell on 8-29-2006 at 9:06 am
So, I guess Norm owns Pluto now ;). Maybe since it was downgraded he was able to purchase it from one of those star-registry companies.
One more planet related one:
Venus envy - jealously of another celestial body’s recognition as a planet. (”Pluto, recently having been downgraded, was suffering from a serious case of Venus envy when Neptune came to visit.”)
posted by Bob on 8-29-2006 at 9:54 am
Bushraq: A state of total confusion and disarray.
“The party turned into a real Bushraq after the electricity went out.”
Stewardicate: To outwit, outreason, or confuse your opponent in an argument. Also, to twist words into humorous meanings unintended by the speaker.
“The discussion was going fine until he decided to stewardicate my mispoken statement.”
posted by Linno on 8-29-2006 at 10:01 am
Final Jebardy: the condition of the U.S. if Jeb Bush wins in ‘08.
If Jeb is elected, it will be Final Jebardy for the Democrats.
Trifection: the rash that results from a third Bush in the White House.
The Center for Disease Control issued a warning today that there is no known antidote to trifection.
posted by Adrienne on 8-29-2006 at 1:04 pm
Florager: A Floridian “survivalist” during hurricane season.
Wal-mart made sure to stock their food, water, candle, weapon, and flashlight supplies months in advance for the influx of frenzied floragers.
posted by Nicole on 8-29-2006 at 1:44 pm
Temptubate (temp-too-beyt) -verb
to insert a temp (employee) into a permanent job (or the like).
Exapmple: “My temp help is so good and my current assistant is failing! We need to temptubate!”
posted by Nicole on 8-29-2006 at 4:00 pm
Bravo! I’m gonna start using some of these other words…
It’s so obvious, I’m ashamed to suggest:
“Johnkarrfare”, getting transportation to a desired destination by getting arrested.
“Yeah, he lives a block from the police station so when he gets really drunk, he just uses Johnkarrfare.”
posted by wendell on 8-29-2006 at 4:49 pm
Oh! And the use of ‘buzzword’ prompts me to come up with:
“Bushword”: a stupid-sounding usually incorrectly used word or phrase used chiefly to remind people that you may be an idiot, but you’re still the boss.
Everyone at the staff meeting cringed as the pointy-haired-boss rattled off a string of Bushwords.
posted by wendell on 8-29-2006 at 4:53 pm
And, very relevantly, “Doublog”: to recycle something you’ve written elsewhere to your blog.
“I’m not really trying to win the contest this week. I’m just doing stuff to doublog at wendellwit.com.”
posted by wendell on 8-29-2006 at 5:03 pm
One (or two) more:
“NotMeTube” or “NotMySpace”: to attempt to increase hipness quotient by refusing to participate in popular web trends.
“You can only reach him by his personal email address. He’s totally NotMySpace.”
“Don’t bother telling him about that video. He’s totally NotMeTube.”
posted by wendell on 8-29-2006 at 5:35 pm
Paleoliturgy - noun: prehistoric rituals and religious ceremonies that continue to be forced upon us…
e.g.
The Anglican Churce of Canada decided to renew its stance on the issue of ordination of gays and lesbians by holding a conference on Paleoliturgy for which attendance would be mandatory for all of the church’s Primates.
posted by Basil on 8-29-2006 at 7:40 pm
i’ve got another one…
Wasbian - noun: a woman who used to date women but no longer does.
After many years spent as a radical vegan lesbian, Theresa decided she’d done enought exploring, so she got back together with her university boyfriend, had a baby and settled down with him. When asked if she’d ever date women again, she says that she’s no longer a lesbian, she’s a wasbian.
*NB: before anyone gets up in arms about this potentially touchy submission, it’s a true story. a good friend of mine (who once dated women but no more) coined the term Wasbian. I think it’s brilliant
posted by Basil on 8-29-2006 at 8:09 pm
snakes on a plane - an event that has been building excitement for a long time, but eventually lets everyone down when it comes to pass. (”My opinion of the movie ‘Snakes on a Plane’, is that it was snakes on plane.”)
posted by Bob on 8-29-2006 at 8:44 pm
Cruisotic: The propensity to become a complete blathering idiot in a very public forum.
Despite his distinguished career, Kevin Bacon proved his cruisotic nature by standing on his head and repeatedly yodeling Kyra Sedwick’s name during his red carpet interview with Melissa Rivers.
posted by mel on 8-30-2006 at 1:03 am
How about an acronym. One of my faves PITAF “pain in the a** factor.” It refers to any task that is not straight-forward.
EX: “If Bush had only know the PITAF of Irag, I’m sure he would have opted to invade Iran.”
How about Yamahog. It refers to Japanese-made motorcycles that are purposely made to look like a Harley Davidson.
EX: “Wanna go for a ride on my Yamahog?”
Something more timely. Karrcissistic. Being so wrapped up in yourself that you create a huge fantasy in your own head just to become famous.
posted by Terry on 8-30-2006 at 5:03 am
Thought of this last night, then Googled it this morning and realized some others had beat me to it, namely AdBusters [http://adbusters.org/the_magazine/63/Top_Identities_of_2006.html]
But whatever, I’m suggesting it anyway; let’s say this is it’s formal inclusion into mainstream culture.
Paristocrat (n.) -
1. A person who is propelled into the elite or priveleged upper class solely because of their heritage.
2. A paradoxical human condition of a person whose only claim to fame is that they are famous
Ex: “I had always hoped the two princesses would devote their lives to a political conscience, but instead they became self-promoting Paristocrats.”
posted by Bj on 8-30-2006 at 8:12 am
americissism - to think your country is so perfect, all others should be changed to be similar,pleasing to or beneficial to yours
ex: George had to let one of his top aides go when he lost his americissism.
Related:
flagistution - to prostitute the flag by using it to sell products, investment schemes and ideas
ex: GM bolstered its sales with their ad campaign and didn’t even care they were guilty of flagistution. In fact, they’re teaching it at their training center.
posted by Connie McKinney on 8-30-2006 at 9:24 am
assof As in - We caught an assof fish this time, instead of just one.
posted by Pam on 8-30-2006 at 10:42 am
Sworfute- to deem necessary an act that most people consider ridiculous. Related words are “sworfution,” “sworfuter,” etc.
Example: “Bubba the Grouper’s chemotherapy was a complete act of sworfution.”
posted by Nicole on 8-30-2006 at 10:55 am
Cerebrosity– The act of practicing good mental fitness. A weekly visit to the Mental Floss Website and the Sunday Times Crossword results in good cerebrosity.
posted by Geoff Repella on 8-30-2006 at 10:55 am
Starbucking
staar-búk-ing
1. The ability to relieve irregular and infrequent or difficult evacuation of the bowels after drinking Starbucks coffee; can be a symptom of intestinal obstruction or diverticulitis due to travel.
2. Have a bowel movement after caffeinated inducement.
example: After 1 week of flight on the space shuttle, I was still unable to relieve myself even though my mother told me it was all in my head. John Glenn came to the rescue and handed me a pack of freeze dried coffee. After the caffeinated inducement, I shut the space shuttle toilet door and had a Starbucking moment.
posted by rachel on 8-30-2006 at 11:54 am
I propose expanding a bookbinding term for a sheet with 24 leaves, or a book so constructed, viz. “Vigesimoquarto” (sometimes hyphenated), i.e.: “24-mo,” to the realm of chronology. Thus, one can say “I need that report by 18:00, v.q. [vigesimoquartal time],” or “separation of the orbiter will occur at GMT 23:01, vi-tal.”
This is of particular usefulness for pacifists or anyone else who doesn’t like to say “military time.” After all, even Secretary Rumsfeld still can’t waterboard our Sol.
posted by Steven Chostler on 8-30-2006 at 2:36 pm
Here’s my new word
Ambisextrous: synonym;bisexual.
When it came to making love, she was quite ambisextrous.
posted by Rich Black on 8-30-2006 at 3:16 pm
Hezbollate (V tr)– to provide grass roots social services in the leadership vacuum of a reigning Government.
A group of friends from Oakland hezbollated Algiers on New Orlean’s Left Bank with a free medical clinic in the wake of Katrina.
Hezbollahater (N) - Do not confuse “hezbollate” with a noun form, “Hezbollahater” that means nearly the opposite - NeoCon who thinks helping the disenfranchised in oil-rich zones is an act of terror.
Hezbollahaters don’t want to hear the Hezbollah has done more rebuilding in Lebanon in a month than FEMA did on the Gulf Coast in a year.
posted by The Damun on 8-30-2006 at 5:46 pm
scuam: that white stuff that gathers in the corners of your eyes.
“Hey, Rusty? You got some scuam gatherin’ there, buddy.”
posted by Chant on 8-30-2006 at 7:06 pm
Iraqua
A series of speeches by Bush on Iraq and terrorism.
Sentence: “Are you going to attend this months Iraqua series?”
“No, I have to stay home and martinize my shorts.”
posted by Mary on 8-30-2006 at 7:16 pm
pharoupulous- (fa-roo’-pew-lus) liking to hear oneself talk for no apparent reason; also, talking incessantly with out paying attention to what anyone else has to say.
posted by Alexis on 8-30-2006 at 8:07 pm
Frustrology- A scientific field in which experts discover or decide upon information of extreme importance and usually extreme truthiness that experts know will upset everyone, sometimes because they grew up being taught something incorrect and do not wish to relearn, but mostly because all of the textbooks need to be rewritten.
Example: “Winners of the mental_floss “Coin a Word” contest will receive the newest t-shirt commemorating one of the most recent monumental discoveries in modern Frustrology.”
posted by Carly on 8-30-2006 at 8:15 pm
Teratonym - a very big word. Comes from terato (greek, monster) + nym (name). Only existing way to say this until now was “sesquipedalian word,” literally, a foot-and-a-half-long word.
ex: That sociology journal is full of neologistic teratonyms; no wonder nobody can understand it.
posted by Baehr on 8-30-2006 at 8:19 pm
Mystigullibility (noun): The tendency among certain types of people to devote fanatical allegiance to a concept in direct proportion to its sense and logic.
Example: His dedication to Scientology is a clear case of mystigullibility.
This behavior is frequently observed in high ranking government officials and movie stars.
posted by Cindy Jo Carlin on 8-30-2006 at 8:22 pm
Banted(verb)-(ban-teed)-When Bush puts something forth, in hopes of gaining something in return.
Example:
HEADLINE August 30, 2006
Today the president banted up, as to his resposibility, for the response to hurricane Katrina. Yes, 365 days after the fact, Bush finally has something to throw in the pot!
posted by SISSY B. on 8-30-2006 at 10:03 pm
Explosure: What happens when a morbidly obese wears low rise jeans bends over.
Example:
When the plumber bent over to fix our sink, his explosure sent us running in the opposite direction. Eww.
posted by Janel on 8-31-2006 at 1:09 am
Rathergasm: the tendency for journalists to pounce with glee on any tidbit of information that might make them stand out from the pack.
ex: In the wake of last week’s Rathergasm, it was revealed that not only had Mark Helin never met Prime Minister Rabin, but that Rabin was, in fact, dead at the time of the alleged interview.
posted by Chant on 8-31-2006 at 3:04 pm
plutonet : (verb) denigrate in front of a large-scale audience
I took it on the chin , when my boss plutonetted me for missing the deadline.
posted by swati on 8-31-2006 at 4:24 pm
trinomychosis - the insanity that can accompany the choice to be identified by one’s first, middle and last names
The investigators and many of the press were ready to believe that John Mark Karr’s tale was yet another story of trinomychosis, as was believed to be the case with John Wayne Gacy and Mark David Chapman, among others.
posted by Nancy on 8-31-2006 at 5:18 pm
Plutobstinance - irrational refusal to accept changing scientific assumptions
In an act of blind plutobstinance, she continued to say “My very excellent mother just served us nine PIES!”
posted by Nancy on 8-31-2006 at 5:42 pm
cognutia - knowledge of inane trivia
Most Americans can rattle off astounding amounts of cognutia (such as the names of the 7 Dwarfs) but cannot name 2 cabinet members or 2 Supreme Court justices.
posted by Nancy on 8-31-2006 at 5:55 pm
fabrilliant - all at once fabulous and extremely intelligent or brilliant
The words I coined for this contest are simply fabrilliant, don’t you agree?
posted by Nancy on 9-1-2006 at 12:58 am
..Please contact me Mr. PLeweTowe,
should you decide to appeal. I remain- Dramasticly Yours, Mz. UReignOus
P.S My dear dramastic daughter wants to know why, why are we only round? Never square, or cubed…or??
posted by patti thomas on 9-2-2006 at 12:33 pm
Buzzed-out: Tired from trying to decipher the meanings of the latest buzz words.
Ex: I am simply buzzed-out from the latest corporate meaning and the attempt to sound like we are doing something different, when we are not.
posted by Darla on 9-3-2006 at 10:29 am
Flabber-gusted: a reaction to something categorized by a combination of feeling “flabbergasted” and “disgusted” at the same time.
Example: I was flabber-gusted at the enthusiastic response to Paris Hilton’s new album.
posted by Chris Hill on 9-4-2006 at 2:25 pm
This one just popped in to my head (yes it is a strange place).
Innewsdated: Being overwhelmed with the amount of news coverage of even minor events.
posted by Darla Cook on 9-5-2006 at 9:20 am
My entries are:
guesstimation-an estimated guess as in ‘I made a guesstimation.’
mystappeared-when something mysteriously disappears ‘It just suddenly mystappeared.’
posted by James Dean on 9-8-2006 at 10:51 pm
ownerd – an otherwise intelligent, even brilliant, person who is unable to grasp the basics of common, every-day tasks.
Ex: Its new ownerd didn’t even know he had to let the dog OUT to do his business;
Ex: Einstein couldn’t count change, but he was the ownerd of a fabulous brain.
posted by Londa Warren on 9-9-2006 at 11:30 am
democraship - a country in which the democratically elected leader has way too much power.
posted by anon on 1-27-2008 at 9:22 pm