Comments on: The only Mafia-approved Bed on the market

By: RosiePerez

RosiePerez — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 03:12:18 +0000

I’m surprised no one picked up on some of the available options: robotic arms and projectile weapons… All it needs is wheels and you’re sleeping in the Batmobile!

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:51:21 +0000

most people living in hostile environments would move if they had access to $135,000, I would think. Probably your average resident of a war-torn country couldn’t afford it either.

Interesting concept though…

By: facts

facts — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:18:12 +0000

I read the whole ad, and it sounds like a good idea to have it around in hostile environments and areas going through war (which it’s designed for). If you live in a safe suburban neighborhood, you probably won’t need this.
It probably has something to back it up in case of a power failure, and if the oxygen level is too low in the system, the doors automatically open up. So you won’t suffocate.
By the way, the thing is made of polycarbonate, and not plywood, as mentioned. Only the demonstration model is made of wood.

By: Bob

Bob — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:33:02 +0000

UN-believable!

By: FlimFlam

FlimFlam — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:22:43 +0000

Hahaha. April Fools! =)

By: Darel

Darel — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:12:24 +0000

This doesn’t look like a $135,000 bed, safe-room, magic time machine, or anything else for that matter. It looks like a few hundred bucks worth of junk from Home Depot and the result of having too much spare time. This is clearly a joke.

By: meta

meta — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:37:02 +0000

way to go death trap usa!

By: Mangesh

Mangesh — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:58:31 +0000

ha… I think there’s a battery in the fine print that I didn’t publicize. That said, the fact that the thing looks like it’s made of plywood doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.

By: Andy

Andy — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:50:37 +0000

Reading the specs, I noticed two things:

1. Airtight
2. Requires access to a power outlet (presumably to run the filters, get air to the sleeper, etc)

So. Given that it stops bullets and biocides, what’s to stop a lazy assassin from tripping a switch on the circuit breaker downstairs and just asphyxiating the sleeper?

By: Andie

Andie — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:43:51 +0000

I did not even need to read the ad. I just had to look at the picture of this coffin-bed and immediately thought: NO!!