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UPDATE: As a public service, we’ll keep this contest open through tonight, and announce the winners tomorrow. Seems like it’s been a cathartic experience.
Yesterday, we posted Sara Newton’s great interview with Peter Sagal, host of NPR’s Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me. He’s written The Book of Vice: Very Naughty Things (And How To Do Them), and we have two copies to give away. All you have to do is come clean about your vice.
Sara will announce the winners on Monday.
A potentially lethal combination of porn, Don Knotts movies & Doritos. Most days, I hit up all 3.
posted by Drew on 4-4-2008 at 10:29 am
My vice is professional wrestling. I watch Raw every monday night. I also watch the pay per view. I don’t watch Smackdown or ECW .. just Raw. Raw has better story lines and John Cena. I think John Cena is adorable. Ok maybe I have more than one vice ..
I also have a thing for Keith Olbermann.
posted by Alice on 4-4-2008 at 10:29 am
Ok, seriously, I have a deathly fear of snakes and everything about them. But that isn’t that bad; what is bad is my superstition after seeing Snakes on a Plane. One character bites it when a snake bites him on a very sensitive organ. Being me, I freaked out and now, in the bathroom, when it is number one, I stand almost three feet away to get a head start when the cobra reveals its evil self and for number two, I muster all my arm strength and sort of hover over the bowl. There, I said it. Snakes suck
posted by Brady on 4-4-2008 at 10:37 am
I love biting my toe nails, I know is gross but they taste so good…I stopped doing it after I got married but I would sometime do it when my wife is not around (this is harder than what I thought)
posted by Leo on 4-4-2008 at 10:44 am
Pot and strippers
and maybe the occasional line of coke (but only if someone else is buying)
posted by Florida on 4-4-2008 at 10:49 am
Vices, hmmm, I have so many….and reading Mental Floss cannot be a vice as it is good for me so we’ll skip that.
1. Smoking (I know, it’s the worst).
2. Watching “Soap” (my husband is wondering if Netflix stocks anything else).
3. Battlestar Galactica (while I feel this is not a vice, people STILL look at me strangely when I say it is better than Lost).
4. Sudoku puzzles.
5. TXT-ing while driving. Almost as bad as smoking.
6. Checking icanhascheezburgers daily.
7. Eating Sugar Free Lemon Mint Ricola cough drops in bed even when I’m not sick.
(that’s enough, right???)
posted by Jamie on 4-4-2008 at 10:50 am
Leo: Ewwwwww!!!!!
posted by Jamie on 4-4-2008 at 10:51 am
I tell people I’m a vegetarian, but I secretly eat meat about twice a week. It just tastes so good! But I feel really guilty while I’m doing it. This has been going on for 15 years.
I know I’m not the only “vegetarian” that does this, either.
posted by Nikki on 4-4-2008 at 10:51 am
Reading mentalfloss.com at work to escape from the mental vapidness of the “hoes” (that’s what they call themselves) in the office.
posted by Rachel on 4-4-2008 at 10:54 am
I am currently collecting on my DVR what I consider a sweet movie collection. The Patrick Swayze ultimate triple movie pack. It contains
Point Break
Red Dawn
Road House
All works of cinematic and acting genius.
posted by Joel on 4-4-2008 at 10:55 am
Ok, here’s my vice. When I ride the subway, if my mind isn’t occupied with a book or crossword or listening to music…
I write pornographic novels in my head using the people riding in the car with me.
I don’t include everyone there in the dirty novel, but if someone sticks out from the crowd- they’re in.
I don’t get sick kicks out of it or anything- actually, it makes me feel really creepy afterward… but that’s where my mind goes to keep from being idle.
Here’s the part where you tell me to do three bloody-marys and four howdy-doodys. (thank you, eddie izzard)
posted by J on 4-4-2008 at 11:07 am
wow… what a horrible topic. I find myself with a new vice of hitting F5 on my browser so that I can watch this trainwreck happen in real time
posted by Roger on 4-4-2008 at 11:07 am
snakeboarding.
If you don’t know what it is you are one of the few who has yet to mock me for continuing to ride one. A pointless piece of sports equipment that had a folowing for a few days in the 1990’s to some, but a required and enjoyable conveyance/EXTREME-ity to me.
posted by Greg on 4-4-2008 at 11:09 am
I have a “small” gambling problem. It started small about 5 years ago when I started playing blackjack. One trip to Vegas later and I was hooked on poker. I used to host raucous card parties at my house. One night I stayed up all night playing cards and then went to work. I’ve done that several times. To get money for playing cards I burned all of my CD’s and resold the originals. I would also deposit my paychecks and sneak a hundred or two hundred without my first wife knowing about it. One of my last trips to Vegas I remember losing several hundred dollars in one night playing poker and then walking through downtown at 5 in the morning with the bums. That was depressing enough to make me leave town on the first flight. I’ve taken the Gambler’s Anonymous quiz and answered yes to 10 of the 20 questions. Answering yes to 7 of the questions makes you a compulsive gambler. Fast forward a few years from the depressing Vegas trip. I’ve remarried and am in a better relationship, but I still have a gambling problem. Now instead of money I wager cases of beer or lunches. I currently owe a friend of mine 2 cases and this past Monday I bought another guy lunch due to losing a bet. However, if UNC and UCLA win on Saturday night and UNC wins it all, I will place third in the office pool and score some money. Fingers crossed!
posted by JORDAN on 4-4-2008 at 11:16 am
My vice is Rob & Big. I hate admitting it to people, because I truely despise most reality shows, but everytime I watch it, I come away happier than when I started. I can’t help it!
posted by Hilary on 4-4-2008 at 11:23 am
I have a very old bench, given to me by my father. It has a large wooden vise that can open to 24″. I’m not sure what all you other people are talking about, ya sick buggers…..
posted by Chris on 4-4-2008 at 11:24 am
After overcoming many of the vices listed in the book, plus a few other better left to discretion, I have replaced the “fun” ones with the vices of New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzles (I carry a book of them with me and ignore people, chores, and clocks with them as often as possible. My latest and greatest vice is the “go back to bed as soon as the older kids get on the morning bus while the youngest colors and watches PBS” one. Even if i’m not tired I have to use that precious time for naps. Oh, and serial procrastination.
posted by aTribe on 4-4-2008 at 11:25 am
My vice is to hang around the shops until I see the right sort of couple. (It has to be the right sort for this to work properly.) Then I approach the guy, holding a pair of very revealing woman’s panties, and say “Excuse me, did you just drop these?” Boy, do you get some reactions!
I used to do something similar with women and sex toys, but I gave up when one of the nuns said “Yes, I believe I did” and took away my vibrator. Ouch!
posted by Jools on 4-4-2008 at 11:28 am
I learned at an early age to pick locks. So I carry paper clips with me at all times so that whenever I go into a new bathroom, I can empty the tampon and condom machines of quarters. It’s especially easy in the “onesie” bathrooms where the box is right next to the toilet and no one can see you.
posted by with-holding name for now on 4-4-2008 at 11:37 am
My vice is weekend NPR shows. Seriously, my girlfriend is starting question just how much I like Ira Glass. I think that I have every episode of This American Life on my iPod and the computer is too full of other NPR programs for her to upload baby pictures. I think I have a problem…
posted by Gary on 4-4-2008 at 11:45 am
World Of Warcraft.
Being a serial procrastinator by nature, this game will probably be the end of me. I’ve called in sick to work, neglected freelance assignments, put off doing chores, etc.
I’m not only an addict, but I’ve also played the pusher to my friends. I had them try out WOW, knowing that they would get addicted to playing it, so that they would eventually sign up and get me a free month of play for reffering them. I AM SCUM! help.
posted by ArtF on 4-4-2008 at 11:47 am
Mine are just not fit for posting. Though I would consider my science fiction television addiction a vise. Especially after I bargain-hunted to get a reasonably priced SG-1 10 season set for under $300. Lol.
posted by Nell on 4-4-2008 at 11:54 am
On more than one instance I’ve enjoyed slices of “Trash Pizza” from the hallway garbage cans in the dorm. Actually, I’ve eaten a lot of things that I’ve found in residence hall trash.
posted by Stu on 4-4-2008 at 12:00 pm
Re: gross toes - I like to pick my toenails until they bleed, I actually succeeded in removing a pinky toenail once. Then I stuff my toes with toilet paper until the bleeding stops.
I used to be extremely addicted to cybersex, would chat all night long on the old MSN chat. I ended up getting a venous thrombosis and nearly died. The plus side was it really heated things up romantically at home, and my typing speed is now nothing short of astounding.
But really, my vice is Popcap. Sadly, (don’t tell CPS!) I have let two children cry around my ankles as I play “just one more level!”.
posted by Mare on 4-4-2008 at 12:00 pm
The Internet.
It has been good to me (like finding my fiance on a personals site, finding my wedding dress/shoes/veil/cake topper on Ebay, etc) it has taken over my life.
From a previous bad internet gambling and shopping addiction, to reading mentalfloss.com and playing Settlers of Catan at work, and MMORPGs in my “free” time, the internet has, shall we say, pwned me.
posted by Leah on 4-4-2008 at 12:13 pm
I’m not only an addict, but I’ve also played the pusher to my friends. I had them try out WOW, knowing that they would get addicted to playing it, so that they would eventually sign up and get me a free month of play for reffering them. I AM SCUM! help.
I’m going to one-up you on the World of Warcraft vice: I felt that it was getting in the way of spending quality time with my son, who was nine at the time, so I got him his own computer and account. Then I got my dad and my brother involved, and we now play as a family. We often talk about raids, different instances, quests, etc during dinner.
Sometimes I find myself using WoW-speak at work…
posted by Annette on 4-4-2008 at 12:17 pm
coffee…or is that an addiction? i can’t tell…
drinking alone and watching British sitcoms or listening to loud music.
also, marathon sessions of watching HOUSE on DVD.
posted by the creature on 4-4-2008 at 12:22 pm
I know it’s disgusting, but I pick my nose when I’m alone. It’s easier than blowing my nose.
When I get home from work, I pretty much immediately take off my pants. Not sure why, but I walk around my apartment most evenings in my underwear and whatever I wore to work, etc.
I love pickle juice.
I salt potato chips. (I’m going to die of high blood pressure, but whatever.)
posted by Angie on 4-4-2008 at 12:23 pm
I gladly flaunt my vices. My roommates are as vice ridden as I. We go through 5 or six bottles of various kinds of booze each week. We all smoke. I get my cigarette money off them from my Texas Hold’em winnings. I am not even going to admit how we relate to each sexually but suffice it to say we are a house of vice. The thing I hide from these people is my eating habits. My favorite sandwich is braunschweiger and horseradish with raw onion on pumpernickel. Sure the roomates see me eating sensible portions of lean meat, veggies and steamed rice but when no-one else is around I eat like my dad.
posted by Cynthia on 4-4-2008 at 12:30 pm
Okay, these are really lame, but I have two vices (other than porn):
1) Stupid computer games
• Hearts
• Spider Solitare
• Regular solitare
• And my favorite: Minesweeper - I can’t get enough of it! Best time on expert is 167 seconds.
2) I used to take fingernail clippers and clip the skin from the tips of my fingers and knuckles. The key was to get it deep enough so that the nerve endings were more exposed and sensitive, but not so much that it would bleed. I nearly wiped my fingerprints off becuase I couldn’t stop.
By the way, I think this qualifies as a combination of a vice and nasty habit: When we were teenagers, my brother liked to pop his zits. Well, “liked” may not do it justice; he loved to and could not pass a mirror without checking to see if there were any ripes ones ready for picking. But the kicker was that after he did his popping business, he would wipe the puss off his fingernails and onto the mirror. Anytime he saw a mirror, he would “make a deposit”.
What’s worse is that my bro was pretty good in art. After a while, he started using his “paint” to draw pictures on the mirrors, just a little bit at a time. It was so nasty. Plus, if you have never had the pleasure before, let me tell you, dried zit puss just doesn’t clean easily even with the most agressive cleaning solution.
posted by Brian on 4-4-2008 at 12:34 pm
@the creature
are you a man (please say yes)? if so, you are the male equivalent of me!
either way, i do believe you to be brilliant.
Rosa
posted by dangerousamusements on 4-4-2008 at 12:39 pm
I have many, but one of the most foul is the peculiar enjoyment I get when I dig my fingernails into chewing gum stuck to the underside of desks and tables.
posted by Maddy on 4-4-2008 at 12:41 pm
In college, a favorite prank was to sneak into the house of someone you didn’t like (usually a rival social organization/sports team), poop in the microwave, set the time for 20 minutes, and head for the exit as quickly as possible.
Thankfully, I’ve kicked the habit.
posted by Dirk Diggler on 4-4-2008 at 12:42 pm
I don’t know if some people would consider them vices but a lot of people think I’m weird, so here goes:
1. Eating candy for breakfast
2. Alphabetizing my DVDs
3. Blasting Celine Dion in my car with the windows down.
4. Skinny dipping
posted by Melodye on 4-4-2008 at 12:46 pm
Sometimes I pick up my cat and squeeze him until he opens up his mouth and meows so I can sniff his cat breath.
posted by annie on 4-4-2008 at 12:50 pm
Dirk,
That is a beatiful gesture of which I have also partaken. The oven works well also and is a bit more covert since it doesn’t hum loudly like a microwave.
If you ever relapse, might I suggest placing some in the peanut butter jar and mixing it in, or one in the pickle jar if the size is right?
posted by It's good to be the King on 4-4-2008 at 12:54 pm
I’m pretty much addicted to Naruto and Lost, i found a site that posts the newest mangas that havent come out in america yet, translated by the users, it’s good to know i am up to date with the japanese kids! I also just got into Bleach, the show, in the past three days i’ve watched 37 episodes online. Sometimes i think it wouldn’t be so bad if i wasn’t so old…
posted by RainMan on 4-4-2008 at 1:00 pm
Seriously and honestly - with the sort of anonomous disclosure only permitted through the wonders of the internet… My vice is picking my nose.
I quit smoking years ago and took up my new hobby - especially while driving - to occupy my hands and stay away from Tobacco. It’s worked but every now and again I get a little bloody nose. Better than a bloody lung eh?
posted by Sara B on 4-4-2008 at 1:02 pm
My vice is tween comedies. I know, it’s ridiculous. I can’t help it. I just sort of put them on because they are completely mindless. I know you are judging me and that is okay. My girlfriend already knows.
posted by John on 4-4-2008 at 1:05 pm
I think Brian’s brother should win, because frankly, it is FUN to pop a really ginormous zit and then wipe it on the mirror to check for color and mass. Gosh, this contest is making me so happy to know that I’m not the only stupid computer gaming, toe-picking, nose-picking, zit popping freak out there.
Oh, and one for the ladies - anybody else aggressively and obsessively tweeze facial hair, particularly chin?
posted by Mare on 4-4-2008 at 1:07 pm
My only vice is older men. I am a young looking 30 and love the company of men in their 40s.
posted by Tessa on 4-4-2008 at 1:09 pm
Ant Hills. I will go crazy out of my way to kick them over. When the ants start piling out of the destroyed mound I have been known to place a lit cigarette on top like a strange banner. Actually now that I think about them I’ve also peed on them before.
God complex?
On a semi related note, I grew up watching Fraggle Rock. Remeber those little guys (the Dozers?) that spent all day building those glue stick-ish houses only to have one of the main characters come over and eat/break it. Yeah its kinda like that.
posted by Robert on 4-4-2008 at 1:11 pm
i know all the words to the movie “labyrinth”, and i didn’t grow up watching the movie. i saw it for the first time at age 15.
posted by kari on 4-4-2008 at 1:38 pm
Robbie Williams albums
posted by Adrienne on 4-4-2008 at 1:43 pm
I have a horribly embarassing addiction to reality television. It started with Survivor, and has moved on to things like Project Runway and Top Chef. Not that bad, you say? I watch almost everything on VH1’s “Celebreality” (hangs head in shame) I have watched Celebrity FitClub, Surreal Life and one season of Flavor of Love. I even watched the one with Brigette Nielson and Flava Flav… I have seen every episode of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels 1 AND 2. I watch Dancing with the Stars online because it comes on the same night as Wrestling.
Now I’m going to get in bed and cry…
Also, Mare, I have a small mole near my ear and a mole/birthmark on my arm, both of which grow black hair. I have obsessively tweezed both until they bled.
posted by BustyMcLeod on 4-4-2008 at 1:54 pm
I pluck my pubic hair. I must spend about a half hour (or more) per day doing this. I just…can’t…stop!
posted by Julie on 4-4-2008 at 1:57 pm
@dangerousamusements
sorry, but i lack a Y chromosome.
:)
posted by the creature on 4-4-2008 at 1:59 pm
George Clooney, George Clooney, George Clooney….
smoking,(bad I know)
Totino’s Pizza Rolls
Magazines(I’d be as happy as a pig in shit if I had a huge stack of new ones everyday)
posted by Jo-Ann Burton on 4-4-2008 at 2:00 pm
Wow. I’m not as effed up as I thought. Some of these comments make my vices look like a barbie doll collection. PLUCKING YOUR PUBIC HAIR!? MY GOD WOMAN! Is it sexual? Do you pluck other parts of your body or do you just like the vaj time?! Well, to each his or her own. I’m going to go j.o. in the bathroom at work.
posted by tbone on 4-4-2008 at 2:14 pm
Love of cheesy 80s pop.
posted by Audra on 4-4-2008 at 2:25 pm
#1 - Cigarettes, weed, and porn.
#2 - I love the scent of my own ball sweat. After a good scratch, I’ll stealthily sniff my fingertips. Mmmm, invigorating.
posted by TMo on 4-4-2008 at 2:41 pm
Sometimes I pick up my cat and squeeze him until he opens up his mouth and meows so I can sniff his cat breath
Annie, if you had replaced “cat” with “dog” I would swear you were my boyfriend.
My man (I know these aren’t mine, but he is WAY more interesting than I am) admitted to me the other day that when the dog stretches with his butt up in the air he wants to just poke him right up his butt hole (with his finger, sicko!), just to see what his reaction would be. The only conclusion we could come to is that it would probably be hilarious, but he should probably not do it.
Oh how I love than man of mine…
Mine consist of:
•smoking (agreed with all of the above, gross!)
•Getting TRASHED by myself (I get excited when my boyfriend has to go away for a few days)and dancing to whatever crap I find on YouTube
•Anything on the History Channel about Religion, despite being a hardcore atheist (that drives my boyfriend BONKERS)
•Drunk MySpaceing/Facebooking/iming/emailing/texting (though I have managed to curb this a bit)
posted by Jessica on 4-4-2008 at 3:06 pm
kari - you remind me of the babe
I had a zit-popping thing when I was younger. I love the teen-girl movies (Bring It On, etc). I also spend time almost every day reading dirty stories online. I don’t really enjoy them… I read them and yell at their poor grammar and spelling. I am a dork to the very core, it seems.
posted by K on 4-4-2008 at 3:07 pm
This is kinda gross, but I love removing things from my body. Allow me to explain. I get enjoyment from removing earwax, picking my nose, removing toe jam and bellybutton lint, flossing my teeth, scraping away eye goop. I actually hope for my nose get stuffed or my ears to produce on overdive so there is all the more to remove. I recently started developing tonsiloths. These are deposits of plaque, shed skins sells and bacteria that form in the folds of your tonsils. They are not harmful, just annoying…to most. I now have nother thing to remove.
posted by Cassie on 4-4-2008 at 3:07 pm
This isn’t really a vice, but I just got a copy of the Mental_Floss board game for $5 and felt like sharing my womderment. What a great way to spend $5!
posted by Kelli K. on 4-4-2008 at 3:17 pm
Oh, and perezhilton. I can’t stop.
posted by Jessica on 4-4-2008 at 3:24 pm
Cheesy action movies…I love them so, particularly when they have commentaries…which leads to my vice of buying too many DVDs (seriously, I have a good dozen that are still in the shrink wrap)
posted by Lesley on 4-4-2008 at 3:34 pm
Cheesy action movies…I love them so, particularly when they have commentaries…which leads to my vice of buying too many DVDs (seriously, I have a good dozen that are still in the shrink wrap)
posted by Lesley on 4-4-2008 at 3:35 pm
Married Men.
How bad is that? But its a power\challenge thing. And I don’t ever make the first move, vices come with rules too.
posted by Leah on 4-4-2008 at 3:49 pm
Whenever my boyfriend is out of town on a Saturday night, I have bacon-wrapped corn dogs for dinner and watch America’s Most Wanted. It’s more of a guilty pleasure than a vice, per se, but it’s the only secret I keep from him.
posted by Keri on 4-4-2008 at 4:02 pm
After reading all these others, it made me acknowledge all my other vices besides the internet.
Cassie, I’m completely with you on the picking things out/off your body thing. Blackheads are the best/worst. Those Biore pore strips? Awesome! I also get those damn tonsil nugget things.
I would have put my WoW addiction on here, but luckily I’ve kicked it (at least until the expansion comes out….) I ended up building a computer from scratch in order to have one good enough to play it with.
And although I can’t stand reality TV, I am addicted to TMZ.com. It bothers me how much I know about Britney’s breakdown or Lindsay’s crazy drunk driving hostage situation, but I can’t stop. And my fiance gets annoyed with it, but I’m fascinated by all those “History of sex” and “Science of sex” shows on the History channel and Learning channel and the like.
posted by Leah on 4-4-2008 at 4:12 pm
Annette and ArtF, I feel vindicated that I am NOT alone in this addiction (well…9 million players should tell me something too…) I’m hopelessly addicted to WoW and play with my husband, his brother and we have a 3rd(!) account and computer for the kids! I was even interim GM of my guild for 7 months and we’re ALWAYS talking about raids, instances, quests, gear and fellow guildies.
Ashamed, but having FUN!
posted by Bethy on 4-4-2008 at 4:18 pm
Two words - NASCAR. I’m so ashamed! If anyone in charge finds out they may take away my English degree…
posted by Terri on 4-4-2008 at 4:41 pm
My vice is scratching scabs and/or popping zits on my boyfriend’s head. It all started when I would just run my hands through his hair. Now, it’s how we both relax (he enjoys it too!)
posted by Keri on 4-4-2008 at 4:59 pm
Compulsive nose-picker and masturbator. Come on, you know you all do it too.
posted by Travis on 4-4-2008 at 5:08 pm
I am a life long gorp. Many people aren’t familiar with this term. It means someone who likes the smell of their own farts so much that they will cup their hand, catch it, and then take a whiff. This can also be done by tooting between the sheets and dutch oven yourself. I’ve never told anyone this before, and I don’t know why I chose this place to share, but I’m sure more people are guilty of this vice then one would think.
posted by Billy on 4-4-2008 at 5:20 pm
Did my vice post? I’m the gorper.
posted by Billy on 4-4-2008 at 5:25 pm
I bite the the cuticles around my nails. Usually until they’re raw or bleed. it’s weird and I don’t really know why I do it. I bite my nails too, but that is much more common. When I was a messed up teen, I would peel the skin off the heels of my feet. Not all of it, just little strips. It always facinated me how thick the skin was.
I also pick my nose and put the leftovers places. Nowhere blatent and obvious, but under stuff. under tables and chairs and the drivers seat in my car. Then later, when there’s a dried collection, I’ll run my hand over them all and they’ll fall to the ground like a scab. sort of gross, but satisfying.
posted by jb on 4-4-2008 at 5:27 pm
I play the same chord progression on a piece of crap keyboard for hours straight, and dance vivaciously, even if it’s slow. I don’t think it’s a problem. I guess I’m in denial…
posted by Ed on 4-4-2008 at 6:18 pm
- Narcissism. Short changed in looks department, when alone I enjoy looking (again and again) at pictures that make me look better than the mirror does. (And I don’t like looking at mirrors.)
- Intolerance of unclean apartments. Was once visiting a friend for a couple of days. She was newly married and they were living in the apartment that her husband had until then shared with roommates. I was so bothered by the uncleanliness of the place, on my last day there, when I happened to be alone in the apartment, I actually scrubbed and cleaned their kitchen!
- Daydreaming. Not a day goes by without my imagining a situation where I am the protagonist. Guess this goes with the Narcissism.
- Oh and I always swallow my chewing gum. Been doing so since middle school.
- Deliberately making myself late. As is I am always running late. But on occasions when I am not, I have an unexplainable compulsion to fold sheets, or load the washing machine or change into different set of clothes etc just until I Am running late!
- Oh and I love to eat while I read and vice versa. So lots of times I get food stains on library books, sometimes crisp new ones :( I am considering patenting an idea for a transparent book cover that will let you turn the pages!
I think I will stop. I sound more and more like I am lying on a psychologist’s sofa!
posted by septer on 4-4-2008 at 7:01 pm
I’m not a nosy person - I don’t ask people to tell me things they’re not comfortable telling - but I am a HUGE snoop.
When people leave their e-mail up on the computer, I always look through it. I’ve even been regularly checking the e-mail of an ex-boyfriend from years ago who gave me his password.
Leave me alone in your house? I will, without a doubt, snoop through your desk drawers, look into your bedroom (including under the bed, where the good stuff is), and see what you’ve tucked away at the back of the pantry.
A bad habit, yes, but such a sweet, sweet vice. . .
posted by Amanda on 4-4-2008 at 7:33 pm
This is going to pale in comparison to most of you… but french fries with mayo!!!
posted by EM on 4-4-2008 at 8:28 pm
After a snow storm I enjoy following several car lengths behind cars or trucks (big rigs are best) that shed their snow or ice as we speed down the highway. The tension of anticipation and then joy at the payoff as a huge sheet of icy snow suddenly lifts off and climbs up into the air is pure entertainment. Watching as it seems to slowly tumble over and over and wondering where it will land, car or Road? Then the subsequent explosion on the road and flying icy shrapnel make an exquisite finish until the next one. Someday I will film a mini documentary of this phenomenon and include a compilation/montage to George Thoroughgood’s, “Who do Love?” Just for the timing of the guitar riff and drum/cymbal crash at the end.
If I didn’t have to go to work I often consider following a good candidate for more aero-dynamics. I don’t secretly wish to see anyone hurt, but I do take joy in the deserved punishment of the car that follows too close, because I hate tailgaters.
posted by Greg VA on 4-4-2008 at 9:09 pm
Incest.
posted by JET on 4-4-2008 at 9:10 pm
you
That’s not my vice. I just left it out of my post and won’t sleep if I don’t try to correct the error.
But if “you” are dirty, believable, and a vice of high magnitude, and can win me that book then maybe “you” are my vice. Or, maybe “you” is my vice?
Is you is or is you ain’t my vice? That is the eternal question, or in my case, the nocturnal question, because it’s late and I am tired, and rambling. goodnight.
posted by Greg VA on 4-4-2008 at 9:17 pm
Hey jb–I’m a cuticle biter, too! I also used to peel the skin off of my heel…that is some damn thick skin! I also like to just peel off the skin around my thumbnails. For awhile, I mimicked my best friend in grad school and would chew off my nails and then chomp on the nail (broke that habit, thank goodness!)
I am also guilty of–and not proud of–the fact that sometimes I pick my nose and adjust wedgies in front of my students who are totally blind. I always feel really bad when I do it, but it’s a long school day and sometimes you just have to!
posted by TeacherPatti on 4-4-2008 at 9:22 pm
I guess it isn’t as wild as some of the others, but I eat too much at night as I read this site and the Times. I like to pick at my feet and pluck my belly button hairs.
posted by Step on 4-4-2008 at 9:47 pm
“Married Men.
How bad is that? But its a power\challenge thing. And I don’t ever make the first move, vices come with rules too.” Leah
I left that part out of my posting, married older men.
posted by Tessa on 4-4-2008 at 10:53 pm
1. Anything sour. Warheads, shocktarts (i don’t care if Wonka changed the name, that’s what they were when I was little and dangit, that’s what I call them!), lemons, sour skittles, sour starburst, sour ANYTHING. If it has citric acid in it and has pictures of cartoon characters with comically pucker faces, I love it!
2. Rambling (see above)
3. Kid’s cartoons. I hate a lot of the popular ‘dramas’ that run over and over and over and over and over and over again on other networks, As soon as I turn on the TV, I check what’s on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon before moving on. Fairly Odd Parents, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Kids Next Door, and let’s not forget the almighty Powerpuff Girls.
5. Unnecessary multitasking online. I can’t help myself, I just HAVE to have more than one tab running. Even with my stone-age dial-up connection, I’m sometimes trolling mentalfloss or neatorama (or both) and reading an webcomic or manga (or both) AND checking my email at the same time. It slows my computer down a whole lot, but I hate being idle. I usually play solitaire while I wait for each page to load lol.
5. Music. If I don’t get a new cd every few months, I literally get frustrated until I do. Then I listen to the new one until I get sick of it and the cycle starts all over.
posted by heather on 4-4-2008 at 11:46 pm
I’m a college student, and my biggest vice is probably Vodka. I know big shock, college kid that drinks!
posted by Jeff on 4-5-2008 at 2:42 am
I get bad cases of flatulence (of the horrible cat fart variety) when in stores and I have come to ~love~ leaving stink bombs in an aisle and quickly moving away. Yes, I am THAT person. However, I make no apologies that you may have walked into one of my noxious clouds. You make great faces!
I also love to hack friends email accounts. When will you people learn not to use your pet’s or child’s name as a password?
posted by anonymouse on 4-5-2008 at 1:00 pm
So, kind of lame, but smutty Harry Potter fanfiction; but only with Snape and Hermione.
posted by Sarah on 4-5-2008 at 3:06 pm
I guess a vice that I have and enjoy is reading numerous blogs and postings and other digital media all across the interweb and never commenting on how funny, clever, interesting, stupid, and/or entertaining that bit of information was. Present comment excluded.
posted by uncle bj on 4-5-2008 at 3:22 pm
I never flush the toilet after doing a big job in a public bathroom– i think it’s funny, and I rip out my pubic hair with my hands throughout the day leaving it to scatter down my leg and land on whatever floor or carpet is beneath me.
posted by the other chris on 4-5-2008 at 6:49 pm
My vice is cigarettes. Not shocking?
Well, I am a media relations officer at the Canadian Cancer Society and constantly praise the Gov’t for creating a smoke-free province, haggling the tobacco companies, and sending our press releases about the newest horrible thing in cigarettes.
But I love my smoke, and to be honest, working there is so stressful that I NEED a butt on my way home from work. I’m a hypocrite and would be fired if they knew, but I wonder if I really am a horrible person for it?
posted by Amanda on 4-5-2008 at 9:04 pm
Hello, my name is Amy and I’m a Mental Floss-aholic.
Rachel confessed on 4/4 that her vice is “reading mentalfloss.com at work to escape from the mental vapidness of the “hoes” (that’s what they call themselves) in the office.”
I mean no disrespect, Rachel, but I am far more debauched. I diligently log on first thing in the morning, before even my morning ablutions, to check the newest postings. I check - nay pore over the site - several times a day, immersing myself in the content that makes me smarter by the second. I post witty entries for pun, caption and other contests (even rousing myself from deep slumber if any strike at night) and challenge myself on many a Weekend Genius Challenge.
So,as you see, my cerebral brothers and sisters, I have a truly incurable vice…. however, it is one I wholeheartedly embrace and flatly refuse to givw up!
posted by Amy on 4-5-2008 at 10:23 pm
FOX NEWS!!!
It may not seem to terrible a vice to some, but considering the way I personally feel about politics, I rank this up there with my disgusting smoking habit. I consider myself quite the liberal minded crusader, but unfortunately I’m all talk and no show (such apathy at the ripe old age of 23 is a crime, I know) So when I start feeling really bad about my political laziness (which is fairly often) I watch Fox News to get me really riled up…Bill O’Reilly usually does the trick.
posted by Sabrina on 4-6-2008 at 1:02 am
I just cannot stop biting my nails. It’s gross. But I just can’t stop.
posted by Venessa on 4-6-2008 at 4:28 am
Sabrina,
Try The Savage Nation (Michael Savage) radio program… this’ll really get you riled up. I only listen just to hear how nuts this ultra ultra conservative wacko can get!
posted by Anonymous on 4-6-2008 at 9:21 am
I make fake tickets to my schools productions (example: sport games, plays, etc…) and sell them to freshman and then my friends and I watch them get busted at the gate! I’ll stop when I graduate.
posted by Rachel* on 4-6-2008 at 10:22 pm
Lying to win competitions.
posted by Paul on 4-7-2008 at 8:01 am
My DVD collection… i’m well past 1,000 DVD’s and climbing - think i broke 1,200 this weekend…
posted by Parry on 4-7-2008 at 8:35 am
Although not nearly as prurient as some of the other posts, my vice is cheese (and no not head or fromunda cheese). I love most all kinds of cheese and will go out of my way to try new cheeses. This from someone who has never in his lifetime ever drank a glass of milk (yucko!). However, I’m not stupid: I’m not trying the maggot cheese and I don’t like limburger although I have tried that one. Cholesterol is up to 306…
posted by Crispin on 4-7-2008 at 9:04 am
i am compulsed to look at the “product” whenever i have a bm. i’m mortified to admit that i often admire it, but i want that book so damned bad! i tried to get it through interlibrary loan, but there is only one copy in the entire state of south dakota and it’s new to that library, so they won’t lend it out. i’m recently divorced and too broke to buy my own copy. of all the contestants in this contest, i am the most deserving. really, i am.
posted by Shelly on 4-7-2008 at 9:19 am
White boy wanna-be gangster guys. It’s strange I write thesis’ in my spare time and am classically trained in theatre- but when I see one of those tall, lanky guys with the wife beater shirt on and a toothpick hanging out of their mouth, I just want to jump over my desk and tell them to take me into the sunset in their Impala.
posted by Stacy on 4-7-2008 at 9:33 am
Shelly,
Are you restricting yourself to South Dakota?
It’s been my experience with Interlibrary Loan that - if an item you’re interested in is available in the holdings of any state’s libraries - you should be able to have it sent to your library for your use (unless, as was the case w/ yours, it’s new and can’t be lent out, it’s a ‘reference’ item, or other such restrictions).
posted by Anon on 4-7-2008 at 10:02 am
I’ve got a HUGE vice. The clamps can open up over 7 feet and I have to stretch to my tip toes when the crank is at its apex and bend down to the floor on the downswing. I could clamp a truck in that sumbitch. I love that vice, and play with it all day. Late at night, I sneak out of bed and head out to the garage to rub oil on it.
Why do all the other entries keep mentioning porn?
posted by Brian on 4-7-2008 at 10:17 am
Several mornings a week, I put keyloggers on computers at the library at school and gather the usernames and passwords of everybody who uses the computers. I have hundreds upon hundreds of MySpace, Facebook, emails, and more. I have the login information of about everyone I could want. When I get home I go through all of their messages. I could blackmail virtually everyone I know. I’m trash.
posted by Jake Le Master on 4-7-2008 at 10:25 am
Anonymouse, I do the same thing! Although I call my variety “disease trails” - makes perfect sense if you were an Everquest fan. When in Target, I usually walk through an aisle and leave a lovely green mist for all to enjoy.
But I love to play fart. Like walking up to a coworker, shaking their chair and making a fart noise.
posted by Mick on 4-7-2008 at 10:27 am
My vice has always been books and bookstores but lately it has taken a turn for the worse. My desire for books has changed to the crappiest reading material available - usually bad mysteries about vampires and werewolves. I feel the need to lie to people about what I read now and I only buy the books online so no one can see me buy them.
Additionally, I have an odd love for freezer pops and nickelodeon teen shows.
posted by sabrina on 4-7-2008 at 10:51 am
This is similar to a few other gross posts…
Not only will I occasionally bite my toenails(only if I can’t find a pair of clippers), but I also periodically “sculpt” my feet with a razorblade, trimming off calluses, corns, and as much dead skin as I can remove without bleeding. It’s amazing how much comes off, and it’s oddly therapeutic.
On a similar note, I’m very picky about my bathroom(#2) habits. I always use a wet-wipe(damp wad of TP) to finish up with, and if there’s no sink near the toilet, I won’t use a public restroom.
posted by Jake on 4-7-2008 at 10:57 am
I watch Girls Next Door whenever I want to feel smart, which is almost daily.
Other than that, my vices are pretty common and boring.
My dad however likes to bite our dogs until they cry, and smell their feet daily. He insists that dog feet smell like freshly popped-popcorn.
posted by karen on 4-7-2008 at 12:22 pm
I use the sharp end of my earring to scrape and pick the plaque and food out from between my teeth and keep my findings on one finger. When I’m done I smash the gunk and roll it around and then smell my finger. Then I put my earring back in my ear for next time. It stinks and it’s gross but it’s like farts: you love your own brand.
posted by Jolene on 4-7-2008 at 12:28 pm
Karen — Your dad isn’t alone on the popcorn thing…
mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/2014
posted by Jason on 4-7-2008 at 1:00 pm
passive-aggression is my vice. i was mad at my boyfriend and saw his box of cereal sitting on the counter. i hocked a loogie into it and watched him eat it later in the week. my roomie was bitching that my bathroom was clean enough (we each had our own bathroom) and wouldn’t let up, so i cleaned my bathroom. with the washcloth she uses on her face.
posted by Kelly on 4-7-2008 at 1:23 pm
my vice = all things Shaq. i own every movie he has been in, including Goodburger because of his short cameo in it. i also collect all things shaq, ranging from a rubber duckie meant to resemble shaq, jerseys, his cds, cards, etc. etc. when i dont get my shaq fix, i get a bit nutty.
posted by Sarah Crowe on 4-7-2008 at 1:39 pm
1. porn
2. Watching TMZ on TV after everyone is in bed
3. Squidbillies
4. anything to do with maps, old-new, I don’t care, I make maps all day and still stop dead in my tracks if I see one I have not seen before
posted by Dave on 4-7-2008 at 1:53 pm
My boss is manipulative liar.
To try and maintain sanity, I keep a checklist of HER vices on my computer (yes, my work computer). Each vice (”inappropriate sharing”, “oily greetings”, and “blaming things on spiders” to name a few) are assigned a point value from 2-50 points per incident. Each time I reach 500, I go get a pedicure. Two of these gloriously combined one time last fall when she claimed that the shingles on one side of her vag*** were caused by spiders - Great day for me!
So I guess that makes my vice benefiting from another’s vices.
I totally vote for J up near the top - what a great way to occupy closed-in time with strangers!
posted by elizabutt on 4-7-2008 at 1:53 pm
I worked for the local Drug and Alcohol abuse place and smoked weed/did other drugs regularly. I often showed up to work high. I even was stoned when I left the voicemail for the interview and the lady told me “I could just tell on the recording that you were the type of person we wanted to have here.” Score. I almost didn’t go in one day because I was so incredibly stoned, but I did anyway. No one noticed.
I also pee in people’s sinks. I’d rather not touch their toilet handle. Peeing in the sink is so much cleaner…for me anyway.
posted by Tommy on 4-7-2008 at 2:01 pm
Diet coke. It’s literally 95% of the liquids I imbibe!
posted by Naomi on 4-7-2008 at 2:19 pm
Picking my psoriasis. I do it constantly; At work, in the bathroom, first thing in the morning, before I go to bed - just enough time for a scab to reform. I’ve been doing it since middle school. For those especially hard places, I’ll use pens, paper clips, anything within reach. My boyfriend found out about it a few months ago and enouraged me to buy some shampoo that helps cure it, but that makes me pick it even more. It leavs dandruff on my shirts constantly, and I love to wear black. I’m not sure what I’d do will all the increased idle time at work without it.
Oh, and I pick at my heels. I pick my nose(and eat it, too), eat things out of garbage cans, and over-salt everything. Until my present job, I’d steal things nightly from work.
Actually, I feel better now. :-)
posted by Konstantine on 4-7-2008 at 2:33 pm
1. Whenever I travel, I stop in at a Catholic Church and go to confession. I make up “sins” and describe them in explicit detail to the priest. I like to see how far he will let me go before he stops me, and what “penance” he will prescribe for me.
2. Postsecret.com
posted by BC on 4-7-2008 at 2:33 pm
Cops. I love cops! Something about all that power!
posted by aw on 4-7-2008 at 2:48 pm
I am SO loving this!
It’s just so amazing to hear all the gross stuff other girls do, for my whole life I just thought I was a disgusting alien. I pick my nose and eat it! I pluck various body hairs late into the night! I snoop in other people’s medicine cabinets! re: the callus slicing - anybody else ever sew their calluses with a needle and thread, or chew on the callus shavings? Anybody else masturbate at work when things got tense? How about, ever notice that when you scratch your butt, no matter how many layers of clothes you have on, your fingers always smell like ass?
Kudos to the peeps who check out their product… in our house, we brag about them, and make everyone look if it’s a good one: leviathan, out of toilet log, double curl, fibre bar, lincoln log, nest of snakes…
BTW I would NEVER eat out of a garbage can! That is just too too dangerous. You garbage eaters, you have a death wish.
posted by Mare on 4-7-2008 at 3:16 pm
I’m a nurse. I’ll go in a dementia patient’s room to fart and then blame the patient if someone comes in.
posted by Jess on 4-7-2008 at 3:39 pm
America’s Next Top Model.
I can usually handle the once a week airings, but when they air the marathons of past seasons on VH1, I get sucked into a Top Model vortex of mega-Tyra-egos, catty bitches, and insane photo shoots.
It is a total vortex. There is no pulling Holly out of an ANTM vortex until the winner is named after about eight hours of episode after whiny episode. Even if I’ve seen it before. Afterwards, I loll around in my own self hatred and think that I’m not photogenic, skinny, or bulimic enough (I am not bulimic. Nor anorexic. I love food and NOT barfing too much).
My husband at first would ask, “Have you seen this one before?” and I’ll say, “Yeah, I have. But I can’t remember what happens.” I. JUST. CAN’T. STOP.
It is now to the point where we’ll see ANTM on VH1 on the cable guide, I press the “select” button on the remote, and my husband will do a leap through the air like in those action movies where they’re shielding you from a bullet, yelling in slow motion, “NOOoooooo!”
But it’s great to watch while folding laundry.
posted by Holly on 4-7-2008 at 4:23 pm
I’d have to say my biggest vice is—
David Hasselhoff!
I LOVE HIM!
posted by stef on 4-7-2008 at 6:56 pm
This is great. I enjoy most of these vices as well, including but not limited to:
• booger picking (sorry, but I don’t eat)
• satchel scratch and sniff
• leaving the monster log in the toilet for someone else to walk in on.
• cloud of aroma for others to walk into
• gorper (smell own brand)
• using anything to pick the wax out of my ear.
• JO at work
posted by It's good to be the King on 4-7-2008 at 7:09 pm
My vice is correcting grammar.
Does this sound strange?
I correct grammar in everything I read… I have novels in my bookcase that have whole sections marked in red and corrected in the margins.
I once vandalized a bill board that read, “Pretty cool..” because ‘pretty is an adjective, not an adverb damn it.
My own grammar? Don’t care a bit.
Also… Smoking, drinking, chronic masturbation, blogging, politics, and shooting birds… sorry PETA.
posted by AJ All the Way on 4-7-2008 at 8:40 pm
I like to pull alongside Drivers Education vehicles and then occasionally swerve, ever so slightly, into their lanes.
posted by digdug on 4-7-2008 at 8:45 pm
-chewing cuticles
-smelling everything before being eaten
making up fake scenarios in my head and actually acting them out
-scab picking,poking, etc
no wonder i’m single
posted by heather on 4-7-2008 at 9:46 pm
People who live in trailers. Seriously. I have always been fascinated by the lifestyle associated with them. Getting knocked up and married at 17, moving in with the 24 year old bf…having 3 kids running around outside with their shoes off while mom’s making mac-n-cheese and dad’s working in the construction industry.
I spend at least a few hours a week on myspace looking up single women, age 18-24 who have kids, only a high school education, smoke, drink and make under $30,000 a year. I’m totally not a stalker, but I just can’t stop wondering what their lives are like!
Anytime I met someone in high school who lived in a trailer I would get so excited to go over to their house. I anticipated the horrible collections of random crap plastered all over their fake wood siding, the 1980’s decor, random big screen in the 10×8 foot living room…I’ve never understood why I’m so fascinated by it.
I definitely do not look down on these people either, I’ve always told my friends that I want to spend 1 year living in one down by the river in the back woods….actually, I don’t know if this is so much a vice as a mental problem!
posted by Erica on 4-8-2008 at 8:58 am
I let my 4 pound Yorkshire Terrier lick the sweat off of my entire foot after I take my boots off. It takes her 15 minutes.
posted by Kevin on 4-8-2008 at 12:26 pm