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There’s always a debate about whether violent cartoons are good for kids and whether some cartoon characters are actually gay. But some cartoon heroes just aren’t good for kids. Maybe they’re darkly depressed Vietnam vets, maybe they were on the A-Team or maybe they’re a stripper. Whatever the reason, these heroes just plain aren’t good role models.
John Rambo
John Rambo made his name in First Blood as a brooding, PTSD-ridden Vietnam vet, then eventually became a killing machine that just made a bloody mess of Burma in Rambo. So of course he’d make a good role model for kids, right? That’s what producers must have been thinking when they green-lit Rambo and the Forces of Freedom, a cartoon that put Sylvester Stallone’s hero on the TV screens of children across the nation. They toned down the PTSD implications that made Rambo such a complex hero in David Morell’s book First Blood and ramped up the witty one-liners. Rambo was united with a team of crime-fighters to fight the forces of S.A.V.A.G.E., a criminal empire led by General Warhawk. Somehow, Rambo managed to thwart Warhawk’s plans (among them were stealing art from Venice and buying South America) without killing anyone, instead compelling most of the bad guys into simply surrendering. Not surprisingly, Rambo didn’t translate well to the realm of kid’s TV and the series was cancelled after its first season.
Mr. T
Ruby-Spears, the masterminds behind the Rambo series, must have had a thing for Stallone films, because they turned to Rocky III for their next cartoon hero. Mr. T featured the actor of A-Team and pro-wrestling fame as the coach of the U.S. gymnastics team. Of course, those gymnasts also had a penchant for solving mysteries, which Mr. T was more than eager to help out with. One look at the title sequence should tip you off that the hero here isn’t quite Sgt. B.A. Baracus. Even though the series only made it through 30 episodes, it did launch Mr. T’s journey into children’s entertainment. Not long after Mr. T ended, he released Be Somebody…or Be Somebody’s Fool, a motivational video for young audiences.
Stripperella
Stan Lee brought the world X-Men, Iron Man and the Fantastic Four, but Stripperella showed a markedly different side to his comic creativity. Voiced by Pamela Anderson (who else?), Strippella was the superheroine alter ego of everyday stripper Erotica Jones on the self-titled show on Spike TV. Not geared towards kids, Stripperella was rated MA and was loaded with blurred nudity and double entendres with lines like “Look out crime. I’m gonna to take a bite out of you. But not in a way you’re gonna find pleasurable.” The show only made it 13 episodes.
Ernie Devlin
Ernie Devlin, based on real-life risk-taker Evil Knievel, traveled with the circus and performed death-defying stunts at an amazing rate (approximately one per week). Of course, like any great cartoon hero, he also liked to solve crimes. The series wasn’t quite hokey enough for the traditional cartoon audience, but it wasn’t quite adult enough for a teenage crowd, so it struggled to find an audience. Along those same lines, Devlin often performed risky stunts and never got injured, but still had to present safety tips at the end of every show. Devlin was voiced by former Monkee Mickey Dolenz, which should give you some idea of how high quality the show was.
Comments (14)
Comment
Mr. T was involved with pro-wrestling? I know he had the par of a boxer in the Rocky series…
posted by Rosebud on 4-25-2008 at 9:48 am
Ernie Devlin was a great show!!! Didn’t realize Mickey Dolenz did Ernie’s voice, quite interesting
:)
posted by Clotho on 4-25-2008 at 10:28 am
How about the cartoons that were almost TOO good for kids? The ones with enough subtle winks and intelligence that you’d have to be an adult to really get them?
The Adventures of Ed Grimley, New Adventures of Mighty Mouse, Animaniacs, and (original ) Ren & Stimpy come to mind.
posted by tona b. on 4-25-2008 at 10:34 am
Good list.
(By the way… he might not have been perfect, but *Evel* Knievel wasn’t “evil”.)
posted by Tom C on 4-25-2008 at 10:39 am
What? Mr. T was great for kids. I have officially never broken a bone in my body- and I credit that fact to all the milk Mr. T encouraged me to drink! Sometimes I would drink it with my Mr. T cereal. Awesome cartoon. It almost made gymnastics acceptable for elementary school-aged boys to participate in gymnastics in the hyper-masculine homophobic 80’s.
Almost.
How can you say that was a bad cartoon for kids? I pity you fools.
posted by Justin on 4-25-2008 at 10:54 am
I agree with Justin…I loved the Mr. T cartoon. I even had the lunch box.
And every episode ended with the real live Mr. T pointing out the moral of the story. Maybe a little silly even when compared to other Saturday morning fare, but definitely not “bad for kids.”
posted by Bob on 4-25-2008 at 11:50 am
It’s nice that Rambo didn’t kill anyone, however not unique. In the dozens upon dozens of GI Joe cartoons I watched as a kid, I don’t think I ever even saw anyone get shot. Shots only connected under two circumstances:
1. the target was a robot
2. the target was an arial vehicle, which upon contnact any drivers and passengers immediatly parachuted out safely.
I never watched the Rambo cartoon, but did see it on the shelf a few months ago at the local video store. It was certainly a WTF? moment.
Remember the Mr. T toon as well. He was certainly agile for a big man.
posted by EV on 4-25-2008 at 12:39 pm
I purchased the Stripperella episodes on DVD, and was disappointed that more weren’t forthcoming.
Actually, I thought the switch of animation styles somewhere around episode 5 were to blame for the series’ demise…
posted by Karl on 4-25-2008 at 2:08 pm
I currently have archived all but 2 episodes of the “Mr. T” cartoon. It’s fantastic.
posted by jasonrocksout on 4-25-2008 at 3:06 pm
What about The Toxic Crusaders? A cartoon based on the ultra-violent, sex-loaded Troma film The Toxic Avenger.
posted by J. T. Pednaud on 4-25-2008 at 4:47 pm
I go to a website that occasionally puts up recaps of the “Mr. T” show. They’re really nuts; the first episode starts with Mr. T saying, “First name is Mister, middle name is that period, last name’s T!” The plot involves golden medallions being smashed by thugs because some microfilm was hidden in one. The best part, though, has to be when T punches a shark.
If that’s not nutty enough, just look at the opening sequence. The dog has T’s mohawk! Mr. T swings an alligator over his head! It’s all so brilliantly insane. If kids’ shows today were this batty, I might actually watch them.
posted by Sillstaw on 4-26-2008 at 4:01 pm
Don’t forget Underdog. He was always popping ’super energy’ pills from the secret compartment in his ring. No wonder he could fly. Let’s teach our kids better living through chemistry.
posted by Tarl on 5-2-2008 at 10:46 am
The first time I became aware of Mr. T, I saw him on a bar bouncer contest aired on Saturday TV when there were no real sports on. I distinctly remember him (even though I was probably only 7 or so) because he already had the mohawk and wore a full length fur coat. I also recall that he did not win, and complained that in the final round, which involved crashing through a hollow-core door, he was instead given a solid door. He was quite a whiner.
But after that, he was cool.
posted by Anthony on 5-2-2008 at 1:06 pm
THANK YOU Anthony!! I’ve been a bar/concert bouncer since the early 80s. The current crop of guys I have working for me are all in their mid to late 20s; I’ve told them about those “bouncer contests” they used to have on TV but I have a sneaking suspicion they don’t really believe me. I actually DO remember seeing the one with Mr. T but I have trouble convincing the guys because I remember so few of the “events”. But now I can show them that someone ELSE remembers seeing these…that oughtta help me sell it to my guys
posted by Bama on 5-3-2008 at 12:53 am