We got SO many entries for last week’s WGC that it may take us the rest of the weekend to sort through all the responses… but we’ll choose a winner before Monday arrives. In the meantime, since you all seem to enjoy being creative, let’s give away another T-shirt by unleashing Weekend Genius Challenge #30!
Many “unwritten rules” guide our planet. Here are a few I’ve jotted down over the years:
1. All really good architects must go by three names.
2. The number of leaves that end up in your yard in the fall has more to do with your neighbor’s trees than your own.
3. During trip to a restaurant with someone else, when you ask for two orders of fries, both orders will be incredibly large and too much to eat. But the next time you go to that restaurant with someone else and ask for only a single order of fries — thinking it will be enough to share — the order will be incredibly small.
Your job is to fill us in on the “unwritten rules” that you’ve experienced in life. The mind behind the one we vote best will win a T-shirt of his or her choice from our online store. REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT: To be absolutely clear, your entries should have nothing to do with identity, race, color, religion, sexual preference, political preference, physical or mental issues, or anything bordering that. In other words, don’t direct them towards any person or group of people who might possibly take offense. So be smart. Play nice. Sit up straight. And tell your sister you love her.
Also, please remember that all comments will be moderated before they’re released, so it may take a while for them to appear on the site. Enter as many times as you like, but please put each entry in a separate comment. Good luck!
Comments (133)
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You can spend all day looking out your window to catch your neighbor’s dog doing his business on your lawn and see nothing, but the following day when you get home from picking up groceries, guaranteed you step in it while unloading the truck!
posted by Tonya on 5-3-2008 at 9:35 am
Unwritten rule of teacher/parent relationships:
Parents can believe 50% of what their children tell them about what really happens in school and teachers can believe 50% of what children tell THEM about what really happens at home. These percentages are adjustable in ONLY a downward direction.
posted by Jenny Brandon on 5-3-2008 at 9:46 am
In any 50/50 proposition, the chances are 90% that you’ll pick wrong.
posted by Marty on 5-3-2008 at 9:55 am
Your rule #1 also applies to serial killers.
posted by zantimisfit on 5-3-2008 at 9:59 am
The definition of accidentally precise synchronization;
At the exact time you push the door unlock button on your car door, in order to open the passenger side, the person for which you are opening the door will inevitably pull up the door handle, forcing you to repeat the process.
posted by Don on 5-3-2008 at 10:00 am
Without fail, if you need gas in your car and you wait to the next day, the price will go up at least ten cents.
The one day you fell ill enough not to be at work, someone else will have called in first.
posted by kitsana_d on 5-3-2008 at 10:10 am
Sorry that should be feel, not fell!
posted by kitsana_d on 5-3-2008 at 10:21 am
My favorite unwritten rule: When you get out of one line to get into the other that you think is shorter, the line will inevitably stop because the one person in front of you will pay with pennies,or there will be no price tag on their item. Then you have to watch the place you were previously in move to the front of the line.
posted by Tricia on 5-3-2008 at 11:27 am
When you are ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY certain that you returned a library book and you get an overdue notice from the library concerning THAT book . . . it’s under your car seat.
posted by R. E. C. on 5-3-2008 at 12:32 pm
Days that you know you must be to work on time for a meeting are days when your commute takes much longer than usual.
In NYC this means that every subway train you get on will be delayed due to a sick passenger, or stalled train (or some other situation) that makes your commute at least 15 minutes longer than usual.
posted by Katie on 5-3-2008 at 12:39 pm
Gravity always surges when you’re trying to refill the bathroom liquid soap dispenser from the large economy gallon-size jug.
posted by buddz on 5-3-2008 at 1:12 pm
You dogs will inevitably insist upon going outside precisely when the rain or snow is falling the hardest.
posted by Amy E. on 5-3-2008 at 2:06 pm
A baby, when kept in casual play clothes all day will never mess his clothes, but will have spitup/messy diaper problems 10 minutes after you dress him in dress clothes, which is always after you leave the house, but before you get to your destination.
That means, for the rest of the day you walk around telling people, “He WAS in this cute little outfit, but…”
posted by Dana on 5-3-2008 at 2:07 pm
The exact minute you’re screaming something revealing to a friend in a nightclub filled with blaring music, the music will quit and you’ll be left screaming “..I REALLY LOVE HIM!” (or something to that effect)
Happened to me many a time.
posted by Myleti on 5-3-2008 at 2:23 pm
If you’re not Tricia, you’re usually right behind her in that line where the person is paying in pennies, has forty-two coupons, and has a price check on a 6 oz. box of diet Fleebles — and you’re blocked in.
posted by buddz on 5-3-2008 at 2:45 pm
1) No matter which line you choose at the supermarket, that is the one which will slow down.
2) If you try to strap buttered toast to a cat’s back, in order to try the buttered toast/cat theory, you will instead get quite a lot of scratches.
posted by Celticlibrarian on 5-3-2008 at 2:58 pm
If you ever meet someone with facial hair, your opinion of them will be completely dependent upon your opinion of said facial hair.
posted by Zach on 5-3-2008 at 2:59 pm
If you work spectacularly hard during your first three years of high school, gaining a reputation of doing good work on time, your senior year your teachers will just assume that you do great work and you can therefore not try as hard, but get the same grade.
This has been my secret.
Alternatively,
Regardless of what time you go to sleep the night before an early morning flight, you will wake up easily at the correct time in the morning without the use of an alarm clock.
posted by Catherine on 5-3-2008 at 3:11 pm
Whenever you do something at work that you’re sure will piss people off, no one will notice. When you do what you think is a minor, run-of-the-mill thing, like move a poster or change the font in a group project, it will result in your getting called in front of the boss, usually after you’ve even forgetten you did it.
Also, I don’t know if it’s okay to critique other rules, but I have to add Mies van der Rohe and Phillip Johnson.
posted by Pastor Josh on 5-3-2008 at 3:31 pm
1) In Europe, if you withdraw money from your bank account, you’ll find that the next day the euro is 20 cent cheaper.
posted by Luis Mondragon on 5-3-2008 at 3:35 pm
The moment you get a minute to sit down to relax the phone rings. Energy gets congested amoung friends around repetitive actions. Each time you take this action, your friend gets the signal to call! Simple! And amazing!
posted by Karen P Horwitz on 5-3-2008 at 4:04 pm
Whenever you are driving and miss a turn you will need to drive and extra 2 miles before you can get to soneplace you turnaround.
posted by Gaby on 5-3-2008 at 4:19 pm
“One Size Fits All” is universally true as long as all of the sizes you wear is “Medium”.
posted by JLifter on 5-3-2008 at 4:41 pm
As soon as I get the car washed (and believe me when I tell you I put it off as long as possible), it rains.
posted by Rachel on 5-3-2008 at 4:44 pm
When you think you’ve finally come up with a ‘unique’ entry/guess/etc that you’re sure will win you a prize… you’ll scroll down the other postings and discover that someone (usually the person commenting right before you) has already beaten you to it!
Now THIS has to count for a freebie T, doesn’t it? ;-)
posted by Amy on 5-3-2008 at 5:09 pm
It is an unwritten rule that whenever you need to use the copier at work, you know the one that no one’s even been near all day, to make just one measly copy, one of your coworkers will have beaten you there with 500 pages to copy. It happens everytime!!
posted by Sandy C on 5-3-2008 at 5:32 pm
As soon as you put a bite of food in your mouth, the phone rings.
posted by bre on 5-3-2008 at 5:37 pm
You will think of the perfect witty response exactly 30 seconds after the person you were wanting to be witty for walks out of the room.
posted by bre on 5-3-2008 at 5:42 pm
The number of idiot drivers on the road is inversely proportional to the amount of patience you have at that moment.
posted by bre on 5-3-2008 at 5:45 pm
The 12:1 Bike Shop Theory: Any time someone says “This will only take about twenty minutes” to repair/build/etc, the job will then take four hours.
posted by Tim on 5-3-2008 at 5:57 pm
Corollary to Bre’s comment: Your server will approach the table four seconds after you’ve taken a bite. (They practice this.)
posted by Tim on 5-3-2008 at 6:03 pm
Anytime you sit down to take a break, read a magazine, have lunch, etc. at your desk at work…that is when your boss walks in to ask you a question.
posted by Rebecca on 5-3-2008 at 6:10 pm
Any time you take your car to the mechanic to show them the weird rattling noise your car is making, the noise will inexplicably stop and restart only when you are a safe distance away from them.
posted by Ash on 5-3-2008 at 7:21 pm
The one day that you’re absolutely, POSTIVELY sure that it’s not going to rain, it does.
Happened to me once: that day the entire city flooded with national record breaking rainfall and I was stuck, wet, at school for two days. Not fun.
posted by Ash on 5-3-2008 at 7:29 pm
Sorry, the message above was supposed to read: The one day that you’re absolutely, POSTIVELY sure that it’s not going to rain (and you don’t bring an umbrella), it does.
posted by Ash on 5-3-2008 at 7:37 pm
When you walk into a car dealership looking for that amazing offer, the assistant tells you that the last one has just been sold to the person in line before you.
posted by Ash on 5-3-2008 at 7:39 pm
When someone says they’ll do something just now/right now, it can mean either right away or the 8th of never.
posted by Laura on 5-3-2008 at 8:11 pm
No one you work with truly wants to be held accountable for anything.
posted by Daniel on 5-3-2008 at 8:11 pm
Whenever you are walking around a city, all those drivings cars and buses are inexplicably rude and trying to kill you, but when driving in a car or riding a bus, it’s the pedestrians who have a death wish!
posted by Dawn on 5-3-2008 at 8:38 pm
When invited to a party, guests are expected to arrive 1/2 hour to an hour after the time stated on the invitation (except dinner parties).
posted by Dawn on 5-3-2008 at 8:45 pm
Barns in rural America come in three colors: white, red, and dilapidated.
posted by Amauriel on 5-3-2008 at 8:47 pm
No matter where you stand outside a building, it will always be downwind of someone having a smoke.
posted by Katherine on 5-3-2008 at 10:14 pm
nO MATTER HOW HARD YOU SET UP A TEST ABOUT JOKES ABOUT “LIFE RULES” YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO IS INSULTED BY SOMETHING
posted by CHRIS COULTAS on 5-3-2008 at 10:23 pm
when you run the three man weave in practice you will inveitable cut the wrong way
posted by chris coultas on 5-3-2008 at 10:25 pm
if you switch lines at the grocery store the person in front of you will have some problem that makes the line stop
posted by chris coultas on 5-3-2008 at 10:27 pm
any time you really want to leave a comment the CAPTCHA will be the most challenging Turing test ever…..
posted by chris coultas on 5-3-2008 at 10:29 pm
whenever you release gas in your office someone will walk in…even if you’ve been alone for hours
posted by chris coultas on 5-3-2008 at 10:36 pm
It’s only a “luxury” once – then it somehow becomes a necessity.
posted by PartiallyDeflected on 5-3-2008 at 10:44 pm
Expensive items go on sale one day AFTER the return policy expires.
posted by JLifter on 5-3-2008 at 11:17 pm
New versions, upgrades and next generation products are always released the day AFTER the return policy expires…..
posted by JLifter on 5-3-2008 at 11:21 pm
You finally have the chance to talk to the person of your dreams. You’re charming, witty and making a wonderful impression. Then you smile and notice a chill. You remember what you had for lunch:
Salad
Broccoli
Poppy seed muffin
Condiments-ketchup, mustard, soy sauce-all of which have gathered at the corner of your mouth
Grape soda
posted by Adrienne on 5-3-2008 at 11:21 pm
whenever you get a samle from the sample people you must act like you might but their product
posted by chris coultas on 5-3-2008 at 11:31 pm
Whenever you walk to the bus stop, you see the bus is already there, so you run as fast as you can thinking you might miss it. When you finally get on the bus, it doesn’t leave for another five minutes, leaving you inside the bus out of breath feeling like an idiot.
Whenever you walk to the bus stop, you see the bus is already there, so you run as fast as you can, but still miss it and end up feeling like an idiot for running. However, when you see this happen to other people who are chasing a bus you are already on, you can’t help but laugh inside.
posted by Xavier on 5-3-2008 at 11:55 pm
Malfunctions in equipment that necessitates a call for someone to come and fix will fail to manifest itself the day the repair man/IT guy comes to work on it.
posted by joman on 5-4-2008 at 12:00 am
When purchasing concert tickets online, after pulling the trigger on what you think are the ‘best seats possible’, you’ll inevitably go back online 2 minutes later only to find seats better than the ones you’ve already paid for.
posted by Drew on 5-4-2008 at 12:11 am
Sunday through Thursday, it is impossible to sleep before 3 a.m. since you have to be at work/class at 8. Friday and Saturday nights you will fall into a coma-like slumber on the sofa, immediately following your favorite 9 p.m. tv show.
posted by adrienne on 5-4-2008 at 12:25 am
it always takes longer to get where you’re going than it does to get back home. :D
posted by julie on 5-4-2008 at 12:53 am
When you change the sheets, the cat will puke on your bed.
When you get the trash out to the curb on time, it’s a holiday week and pickup is delayed a day.
Procrastination pays just often enough to reinforce your bad habits.
To get your entry erased, try to enter the indecipherable recaptcha words.
Mom always calls on drinking nights.
The only people who stop at yellow lights are the ones in front of you when you are late for work.
As soon as you make a large purchase, you get a large bill for something you forgot about.
If you want your food to come or the bus to arrive, just light a cigarette.
posted by frida tastic on 5-4-2008 at 1:01 am
Whenever you’re searching for something, it’ll be in the last place you looked. Every time!!
posted by Jilayne on 5-4-2008 at 1:19 am
One word: Murphy’s Law.
posted by Kate on 5-4-2008 at 1:55 am
no matter how well you store your restaurant leftovers, they will ALWAYS taste like your refrigerator when reheated. This rule is most often applied to those french fries from that great diner that makes them better than anyone else.
The likelihood of your car running out of
gas is inversely proportional to the charge level of your cell phone.
When you buy a perfectly running, nice looking used car, the transmission will always bite the dust about a week into driving it.
posted by heather on 5-4-2008 at 3:09 am
How is it that we remember the least little thing that happens to us, and yet can’t remember how often we have told it to the same person?
posted by Kaelinda on 5-4-2008 at 3:35 am
Have you noticed that every time a really intresting discussion starts on the internet, someone ends up calling someone else a Nazi?
posted by Kaelinda on 5-4-2008 at 3:37 am
What do you guys not understand about “Enter as many times as you like, but please put each entry in a separate comment.”
Anyways, have you noticed that the best onion ring you’ve ever had in your life is that one random one you found in a bunch of french fries?
posted by kevin z on 5-4-2008 at 4:22 am
You proofread, and proofread, and oroofread a comment before you hit the send button, then after it posts you see a mitsake!
posted by Tdave on 5-4-2008 at 5:24 am
p.s. Or maybe there’s two mistakes.
posted by Tdave on 5-4-2008 at 5:34 am
the dvd that is finally available at the rental place will be scratched when you get it home
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 6:46 am
ten minutes after youve gotten on the bus/train/plane for that seven hour long ride/flight, your ipod battery will die
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 6:48 am
immediately after you decide that youve taken enough pictures and you turn off your camera, something really really cool will happen and you wont be able to turn your camera back on in time
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 6:51 am
if you have an early morning presentation at work or school, your alarm wont go off
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 7:06 am
while pet-sitting someone’s dog, you will spend at least one day frantically searching the city for that dog because it has learned to pick the lock on the back yard fence
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 7:15 am
if getting to the showers involves walking through a group of people, you will remember your clean clothes but forget to bring your towel
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 7:18 am
The patients that come in absolutely desperate to have their colds treated before a particular deadline, will not have tried treating it on their own with over-the-counter medicines.
posted by lantern314 on 5-4-2008 at 7:23 am
when you have put a lot of time and effort into writing an email, the internet will freeze when you hit send
posted by tessa on 5-4-2008 at 7:24 am
No matter how many people live in a house only one person runs out of toilet paper
posted by Rob on 5-4-2008 at 7:36 am
The angery you get at your kids for causing you to be late, the more things you forget to do before you leave.
posted by Rob on 5-4-2008 at 8:13 am
Your car will only break down after you have filled it up with gas.
posted by Rob on 5-4-2008 at 8:20 am
In a psychiatrist’s office: the thicker the patient’s chart, the harder they are to treat.
posted by stellamerteuil on 5-4-2008 at 8:32 am
There are two kinds of tasks — ones where 90 percent of it is done in the first 50 percent of the time allotted to it, and ones where 50 percent of it is done in the first 90 percent of the time allotted to it.
So look at the job after you’re halfway to the deadline. If it’s not practically finished, then you need to get more resources on it.
posted by George on 5-4-2008 at 9:09 am
You should never say never!
posted by olal on 5-4-2008 at 9:12 am
2. Never let on that someone is bothering you.
1. Never say that your gun is jammed.
posted by Scott on 5-4-2008 at 10:19 am
If your watching a great show/movie that has only one swear/”inappropriate scene”/scene of violence, that will be the minute when someone else walks into the room, sighs and asks you why you watch that trash.
posted by Chas on 5-4-2008 at 10:23 am
Chris Coultras:
If I knew what a “three man weave” was or ever saw someone “..but a product” I think I would be offended. LOL
posted by Scott on 5-4-2008 at 10:32 am
You can work out strenuously Monday through Friday, and feel enormously re-energized for the whole week but, by the time Saturday and Sunday roll around, you’ll begin to feel weekend.
posted by Amy on 5-4-2008 at 10:50 am
When you locate the perfect journal article for your research paper – you’ll go up into the library’s stacks, pull said journal, and discover that someone has torn the article from the journal!
This actually happened to me – and ironically – the paper I was writing about had to do with book theft and mutilation!
posted by Amy on 5-4-2008 at 10:57 am
I have 4 children, who, occasionally will all be entertaining themselves, leaving me alone….and what I have learned in life is this….
when all is quiet and above said self entertaining children are occupied, I will make a phone call, and the moment I am on the phone, above said children will suddenly need me desparately…
Happens every time….I now leave the house to make calls, and still they interrupt me via “call alert”.
posted by Sandie on 5-4-2008 at 11:51 am
When you’re waiting to hear if you got a job, they will always call two working days after you’ve given up all hope of ever hearing from them.
posted by terri on 5-4-2008 at 11:56 am
When you go to a restaurant, the time you wait for a table will be the opposite of what they tell you the wait is. If they say “30 minutes,” it will be about an hour. However, if they say “One hour,” it will be about 20 – 30 minutes.
posted by Jenny on 5-4-2008 at 11:58 am
Scott
Chris Coultras:
If I knew what a “three man weave†was or ever saw someone “..but a product†I think I would be offended. LOL
I’ve got to stop writing these things when I’m drunk…ROFL…..a 3 man weave is a common basketball drill that I could never quite master…and it was supposed to be buy not but..
posted by Chris Coultas on 5-4-2008 at 12:06 pm
The moment you make a joke or disparaging remark about anything someone within earshot will be somehow involved or insulted by that….”I hate blacks shoes” and you’ll look down and see that person is wearing blacks shoes would be one example…..by the way the CAPTCHA to submit this comment is Mr penetrated…that’s gross mental floss!
posted by Chris Coultas on 5-4-2008 at 12:10 pm
The success of a horror film is measured by for how long one becomes paranoid after watching it.
In philosophy and any academic discipline involving “theory,” if a claim can be made in one line, it must be at least a paragraph to an entire volume of books long.
It’s accepted that one can remain inebriated 50% of the time in college, despite whatever institution they attend. If they maintain such levels of inebriation after college, they become an alcoholic, pothead, junkie, etc.
Speed limits when driving are actually about 10 MPH higher then the sign says.
posted by G C on 5-4-2008 at 12:37 pm
If you have to ask, it does not suit you.
The law of verbal compensation: The more one talks about something without doing, the more likely it is that it is a lie. For example, “weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” claim was prevalent but ultimately untrue.
The more an object cost, the more likely it was a waste of money.
Expectations are usually self-fulfilling to the beholder.
posted by G C on 5-4-2008 at 12:43 pm
No matter how closely you watch the kind of boring soccer match, the minute you look away, Zinadine Zidane headbutts a guy! Okay so that only happened once but it applies to pretty much all sports games: the awesome goal, the impossible catch, the great tackle. It’s just not the same watching the replay.
posted by Tricia on 5-4-2008 at 1:09 pm
The less often a good sports team is written about and/or publicized during the regular season, the more of a “surprise” it is when said team does well in the playoffs.
posted by Christi on 5-4-2008 at 1:43 pm
The longer you put off listening to that dreaded voicemail that you just don’t want to hear, the less likely that voicemail is the dreaded one.
posted by Christi on 5-4-2008 at 1:47 pm
Wearing a white shirt is no big deal. Unless you are expecting an important event to happen that day.
THEN you will inevitably spill something on it!
posted by Meri on 5-4-2008 at 2:06 pm
If it’s quiet around the house, the dog/child is getting into something he shouldn’t be messing with.
posted by Meri on 5-4-2008 at 2:08 pm
No matter how many times you promise yourself to stop buying white shoes because your last pair dirtied so quickly, you will still continue to buy white shoes and tell yourself that “this time, I’ll take good care of them.”
posted by Greg on 5-4-2008 at 2:15 pm
Mullets are not singular affairs. Whenever one is spotted, a family member is usually sporting one nearby.
posted by Wendy on 5-4-2008 at 2:46 pm
When you decide to wear your nice WHITE blouse to work while frantically trying to keep any unopened pens from coming into contact with it (by closing and/or putting them into drawers) , you will come home to discover that you missed one, and that the resulting stain is in a very noticeable spot!
posted by Amy on 5-4-2008 at 4:31 pm
See how my last comment *proves* the first one I posted re ‘ entry uniqueness’ (although it is a variation)?
posted by Amy on 5-4-2008 at 4:34 pm
You can work in a store all day and not have a single customer and then have a customer to come in five minutes before closing who then spends a half hour or more looking around/turning the formerly neat and tidy area into a big mess and who ends up buying very little or (usually) nothing at all!
posted by anonymous on 5-4-2008 at 4:41 pm
The minute you decide that you’re going to buckle down, turn off the television and do some housework, your favorite movie comes on and you get sidetracked and watch it.
posted by Myleti on 5-4-2008 at 5:11 pm
When you tell someone about a show you ABSOLUTELY LOVE they will of course tune in to the worst episode of the season.
posted by Kelly on 5-4-2008 at 5:40 pm
It is an *absolute* that no one ever wants to be the last to “finish” things in the refrig or pantry. So the morning you are really craving cereal, milk and/or juice, there will only be cereal dust or just enough liquid to moisten your lips.
Ditto for condiments.
posted by jen on 5-4-2008 at 6:41 pm
If you are at a stoplight and your car doesn’t have tinted windows, every other car around you WILL have their windows tinted and will be staring at you because they can see you but you can’t see them.
posted by Kevin on 5-4-2008 at 8:24 pm
79% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
posted by Karis on 5-4-2008 at 8:32 pm
Gravity works.
posted by SongLee on 5-4-2008 at 10:24 pm
5 out of 4 people have a problem with math
OK it’s just a joke.
posted by Scott on 5-4-2008 at 10:54 pm
Fruits and vegetables that are on sale never ripen properly. How DO they know?
posted by Leo ONeil on 5-4-2008 at 11:06 pm
When you’re enemy in within range, so are you.
posted by Leo O'Neil on 5-4-2008 at 11:25 pm
When an old girlfriend, whom you’ve been wanting to hear from calls, you’re always in the presence of your new girlfriend.
posted by Leo ONeil on 5-4-2008 at 11:28 pm
When buying an experimental health care product that requires 90 days to take effect, the money-back guarantee is only for 30 days.
posted by Leo ONeil on 5-4-2008 at 11:34 pm
Every woman must fall in love with at least one gay man…
…or go to prom with him.
posted by mark on 5-5-2008 at 12:58 am
When turning on your laptop in a public place, the speakers will inevitably always be on and loud enough for people to hear your computer start up.
posted by Xavier on 5-5-2008 at 2:47 am
When watching LOST, you never get up. Not even during the commercials.
posted by Xavier on 5-5-2008 at 2:53 am
Clicking a link a second time will cause the site to download quicker.
posted by Xavier on 5-5-2008 at 2:55 am
Your score in karaoke is directly caused by how badly you sing.
posted by Xavier on 5-5-2008 at 3:02 am
If you work in an job involving multiple unrelated files/projects, 80% of your hassle is caused by the same 20% of the files. As a corollary, the minority of “difficult” files tend to each have a plurality of completely unrelated (i.e., not cause-and-effect) and often extremely unusual (thus time-consuming) problems throughout their lifespans.
posted by Liza on 5-5-2008 at 7:52 am
If you sit at your office desk ALL day without moving, then get up for 2 minutes to use the restroom, when you get back to your desk, there are at least 2 voicemail messages on your phone.
posted by KJ on 5-5-2008 at 8:50 am
The reason that a missing object is always in the last place you look is that once you find it, you stop looking.
posted by EMStoveken on 5-5-2008 at 9:22 am
When ordering from a chinese takeout restaurant, no matter what you order or how many items you order it will always be ready in 10 minutes.
posted by Andy on 5-5-2008 at 9:51 am
When you think you’ve finally come up with a ‘unique’ entry/guess/etc…DAMMIT!
posted by 8rustystaples on 5-5-2008 at 10:26 am
Children must wiggle incessantly for still photos, and must look statuesque and/or in a state of shock for video cameras.
posted by elizabutt on 5-5-2008 at 11:21 am
Pet dogs believe you are family; pet cats believe you are hired help.
posted by elizabutt on 5-5-2008 at 11:27 am
Speed up for passers, brake for tailgaters.
posted by Roy on 5-5-2008 at 1:46 pm
When you’re at work and swear that something can’t be fixed or designed the way you want it to be in Word or Excel, one co-worker will be able to take a look at it and make it right, inevitably making you feel like an idiot.
posted by Michele on 5-5-2008 at 3:08 pm
Xavier,
Forget about never getting up… I won’t even let anyone else take the remote, in case they change the channel just to ‘see what else is on’ – because sometimes the show’s resumed before they get back to LOST!
posted by Anonymous on 5-5-2008 at 9:31 pm
A sitcom will be off the air within a year of either a) sending the cast to far away lands for vacations or b) a lead character gets a baby.
posted by Fred on 5-6-2008 at 8:14 am
blck people have names like Karl, white people have names like Lenny.
Sorry but i had to get a aimpsons reference in somewhere
posted by Dominic on 5-6-2008 at 8:57 am
The day you forget to wear deodorant will be the day the air conditioner is broken at church.
posted by Cat on 5-6-2008 at 10:29 pm
the previous comments relating to finding something in the last place you look should read “when you lose something, it is always in the last place you think to look”
posted by john on 5-6-2008 at 10:58 pm
This just came to me as I ordered lunch out today:
When you receive your order at a fastfood restaurant, it rarely looks the way it is pictured on the menu display.
posted by margie on 5-9-2008 at 12:31 am