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While all but the most adept geniuses need annotations to make heads or tails of James Joyce’s Ulysses or a molecular biology textbook, most folks seem to do just fine without expertly-annotated copies of Elle Girl. Truth is, they don’t know what they’re missing. To remedy that, we present Pop Annotations, a weekly column dedicated to exposing the factoidal profundities lurking below the surface of today’s hit songs. This week we tackle club-phenom Fergie’s infuriatingly catchy single, “London Bridge,” which goes a little something like this:
When I come to the club, step aside
Pop the seats, don’t be heavy in the line1
V.I.P. because you know I gotta shine
I’m Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time2
1. Trans: Allow me ingress to your establishment, fair bouncer, wherein I might shake my humps.
2. Birth name: Sarah Stacy Ferguson. Stage name: Fergie, a reference to the notoriously hard-partying Dutchess of York, who made herself a fixture in British tabloids by allegedly loving a number of people “long time” (her husband not necessarily among them).
All my girls get down on the floor
Back to back drop it down real low3
I’m such a lady but I’m dancing like a ho
‘cause you know I don’t give a f***,4 so here we go!
3. Probably a reference to the sexy-like-an-epileptic-seizure stripper dance, an outgrowth of the crunk style of hip-hop. (Interestingly, there is some debate over whether the term “crunk” was coined by Southern rappers, Conan O’Brien or Dr. Seuss.)
4. She really doesn’t. To wit: the 2005 concert in which she wet her pants but kept on singing, despite the presence of photographers and shocked fans.
How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge5,6, wanna go down7 like
London London London, wanna go down like
London London London, be going down like
5. Fergie’s album cover shows the Tower Bridge, not the comparatively unremarkable London Bridge.
6. Unless Fergie has bought and now owns the London Bridge, we’re pretty sure this is a naughty metaphor. Anyone got any other ideas?
7. London Bridge actually fell down many times: first in 1013 — burned by the strangely-monikered King Ethelred the Unready — and most recently in 1924, when Her Majesty’s engineers decided the bridge was unsafe and sold it to an American businessman. The old bridge now spans Lake Havasu, and is the second-largest tourist draw in Arizona.
Drinks start pourin’
And my speech start slurrin8
Everybody start looking at you
8. Alcohol intereferes with synaptic firing in the brain, resulting in lowered intellectual capacity while drinking – and also during a hangover.
Grey Goose got the girl feeling loose
Now I’m wishin’ that I didn’t wear these shoes (I hate heels!9)
It’s like everytime I get up on the dude10
Papparazzi11 put my bidness in the news
And I’m like “Get up out my face!
‘Fore I turn around an’ spray your ass with Mace™
My lips make you want to have a taste!”
You got that? … I got the bass!12
9. High heels were actually first worn by men, popularized by diminutive French nobility who wore them as high as four inches.
10. Fergie is currently dating Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! actor Josh Duhamel.
11. The term “paparazzi” derives from Signor Paparazzo, a character from Fellini’s classic film La Dolce Vita. Paparazzo is a photographer who finds he can earn 60 times his usual rate from photographs of celebrity confrontations.
12. Did we mention that bass of a certain frequency can make you love God?
Comments (19)
Comment
This is just fantastic. What a post. Can’t wait for the next one.
posted by Jason on 9-1-2006 at 10:25 am
Thanks, Jason!
posted by Ransom on 9-1-2006 at 11:04 am
I believe “Me so horny” is a reference to the pioneering rap work of Luther “Luke Skyywalker” Campbell in his group 2 Live Crew’s groundbreaking album “Nasty As They Wanna Be.”
Much like the influence T.S. Eliot later had on W.H. Auden.
posted by Liam on 9-1-2006 at 11:05 am
Ah, in fact, the allusion to “me love you long time” is multifaceted! It does in fact refer to “Nasty As They Wanna Be,” which sampled it from “Full Metal Jacket.”
posted by Mary on 9-1-2006 at 11:15 am
In fact, the Da Nang Hooker from ‘Full Metal’ — AKA Vietnamese actress/model Papillon Soo Soo — is a friend of mine:
http://myspace.com/dananghooker
posted by Ransom on 9-1-2006 at 12:09 pm
Papillion is forever 21.
posted by Mrs. Clark on 9-1-2006 at 8:15 pm
I know my hometown of Lake Havasu is ‘on the map’ when Mental Floss makes mention of it! TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE, as James Brown might say upon a visit…
posted by Jordan on 9-2-2006 at 12:51 pm
Thank you! I really appreciated this post. I will come here often.
I think the ambiguous “london bridge” reference probably annoys too many to count.
posted by Joy A on 9-2-2006 at 4:09 pm
By the way, I’m happy to entertain suggestions on what I annotate next … so bring ‘em on!
posted by Ransom on 9-4-2006 at 6:35 pm
great post! I’m busy catching up on all my summer reading…
posted by Mangesh on 9-5-2006 at 1:20 pm
omg you suck, this is fergies style and everyone should support her.. this is her..this is not the black eyed peas.this is HONEST!she said that in an interview.. and i believe her..so get all the bad $#%^ off this website and for the record her name is STACY! not Sarah. :P
posted by val on 9-10-2006 at 3:54 pm
Val has a point about “Stacy” versus “Sarah.” And, hey, I’m people making whatever kind of music they want, even if to me it sounds like banshee wailing…
posted by Mary on 9-11-2006 at 9:12 am
I think the London bridge is a reference to the bridge in her mouth. Possibly her homage to the English, as in Fergie the Dutchess of York, as in her mouth wants to “go down”, as in oral sex.
posted by x9354 on 9-13-2006 at 6:55 pm
“London Bridge” is her PANTIES people…
Drop your drawers and look down, folks. The center strip looks like a bridge from front to back.
How come everytime you come around my london london bridge wanna go down…
“Why do I end up taking off my underwear…”
I can’t believe people are puzzled over this.
posted by Hali on 4-27-2007 at 8:10 pm
Modern deconstruction of Dylan’s
“All Along the Watchtower”.
posted by KPSOX on 6-26-2007 at 12:24 pm
London Bridge is a reference to underwear, likely accounting for why Fergie’s wardrobe in the video included a pair of British flag designed underwear.
posted by Megeelee on 6-28-2007 at 12:27 pm
In Ransom’s defense, my name is Stacy and even my close friends call me “Sarah” from time to time.
posted by Stacy on 7-2-2007 at 11:45 am
I also thought the London Bridge reference was a no-brainer. I guess you could also think of it as in “I see LONDON I see France, I see someone’s underpants”
posted by Bri on 7-7-2007 at 11:56 am
Scholarly annotations! Well done Ransome. Keep it movin..
posted by MacScion on 8-5-2007 at 6:34 am