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Googling “bad rap lyrics” returns a flood of flawed rhymes that could take all day to comb through (my favorite was penned by Mase: “Young, black and famous / with money hangin’ out the anus”), but one thing I realized while reading, that I hadn’t quite gleaned from years of listening, was how often rappers use basic math and science concepts in their lyrics. Perhaps reflecting the current state of American math and science aptitude, rappers don’t always get it right — and sometimes get it very wrong. Here are six of our favorite flubs (thanks to Henry Adaso, among other sources).
1. Math: Redman, “Five Boroughs”
My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh)
A twelve song LP, that’s thirty-six mics (uh-huh)
Unless Redman uses less than a paragraph of lyrics per song, I think he’s a few mics short of an LP.
2. Physics: Canibus, “Funkmaster Flex Freestyle”
I can double my density from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly.
While 360 times 2 is indeed 720, Canibus needs a little help when it comes to measuring units of density. Rather than “degrees,” acceptable terms would’ve included kilograms per cubic metre (kg/m³), grams per millilitre (g/mL) or pounds per U.S. bushel (lb/bu) — for all you farmers out there.
3. Chronology: Master P, “Do You Know”
If you don’t bring back my m****f*****n money
or my m***f****n dope
you can forget about Christmas n***a
cause you ain’t gon’ even see New Years.
Hey, now that you’ve mastered P, maybe it’s time to master G — the Gregorian calendar. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Christmas comes before New Years.
4. Astronomy / Astrology: Kanye West, “Gettin’ It In”
Don’t try to treat me like I AIN’T FAMOUS
My apologies, are you into astrology Cause I’m,
I’m tryin to make it to Uranus.
Kudos to Kanye on this point: though not as widely referenced as some of the larger, closer planets, the position of Uranus in the Heavans actually is used in modern astrology. However, its influence is considered secondary to Saturn’s — they co-rule Aquarius — and if you know anything about Aquarians (I’m one of ‘em), you’d know that members of this water sign are relatively passive and chilled-out; the last thing they’d do is try to rile Kanye, or for that matter let him into their, you know, Uranus. (Nice try, West.)
5. Physics: Lil’ Fame, “Half and Half”
First family will gradually lift that a*s up like gravity.
Rather than a snarky comeback, I’ve prepared a rhyme in response:
Yo Fame, what goes up must come down
Not the otha way ’round
Getcha facts straight son
Floss online, ‘cuz books weigh a ton.
BONUS MATH PROBLEM: Foxy Brown, “Affirmative Action”
Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen
Double it times three, we got forty-eight, which mean
A whole lot of cream, divide the profit by four,
Subtract it by eight, we back to sixteen.
Actually, there’s nothing wrong with the math here — in fact, what Foxy Brown has constructed for us is a little word problem. For big bonus points (and major street cred), who can tell us what Foxy’s gross coke income is, using grams rather than dollars as a unit of measure? (I’ll swing by later and post the correct answer in the comments.)
That’s the thing about cocaine, the second you think you’re ahead the profits go straight up your nose. Coke is a hell of a drug, a hell of a drug.
posted by Gary on 5-9-2008 at 12:22 pm
Foxy’s math is not correct. 32 “chopped in half” is indeed 16. But now she says “Double it times three”. Either she means double it AND triple it, in which case the answer is 16*2*3=96, or she means double it three times, in which case it’s 16*2*2*2=18. But when she said “double IT times three”, was she referring to the 16 or the original 32? If she was referring to the original 32, then it’s either 32*2*3=192 or 32*2*2*2=256. Any way you parse it, I don’t see how you can come up with 48.
posted by Craig on 5-9-2008 at 12:37 pm
(16+8)*4=96
posted by Jud on 5-9-2008 at 12:38 pm
Typo fix: That should read “16*2*2*2=128″, not “16*2*2*2=18″
posted by Craig on 5-9-2008 at 12:40 pm
Craig: Substitute “multiply” for “double” and you get 16*3=48.
posted by Jeff on 5-9-2008 at 12:48 pm
I now remember why I chose not to deal coke. It IS a complicated helluva drug.
posted by BW on 5-9-2008 at 1:19 pm
Why would I substitute “multiply” for “double”? Those are two different things.
posted by Craig on 5-9-2008 at 1:23 pm
Yeah, “double it times three” is just a wack way of saying “multiply.” 16×3=48.
Anywho, Jud was closest to the answer I was looking for with 96 … though I believe that’s NET income … gross would be 144.
posted by Ransom Riggs on 5-9-2008 at 1:36 pm
Fantastic article, just fantastic!
posted by Kinglink on 5-9-2008 at 1:37 pm
This is the greatest, nerdiest thing I’ve ever read. Love it.
posted by SpaceMonkeyX on 5-9-2008 at 1:41 pm
Also, Master P might not be so wrong, especially if his threat is being issued between the 26th and 30th of December. Sure, Christmas may take place before New Years, but New Years also takes place before Christmas.
posted by jim on 5-9-2008 at 1:45 pm
Being an Aquarius myself I am pretty laid back…but I would like to metion that we are air signs not water signs. It is a mistake that many make.
posted by Addie on 5-9-2008 at 2:04 pm
I got 96, too. And “double” meaning “multiply” makes my brain explode…
posted by Mandie on 5-9-2008 at 2:28 pm
Since when does “double” mean the same thing as “multiply”? This is really bothering me.
posted by Craig on 5-9-2008 at 3:38 pm
I LOVE MENTAL_FLOSS and this article!
posted by Kim on 5-9-2008 at 3:42 pm
Best post ever, homey. Keep ‘em coming.
posted by tommy on 5-9-2008 at 3:53 pm
Best rap math EVAR.
posted by Chris Higgins on 5-9-2008 at 4:00 pm
Oh leave ‘em alone!
@ number 3 Chronology:
what if he is talking between 25th and 31st Dec of a year?
A lot of them can be explained with ‘creative’ explanations.
Liked the gravity rhyme though!
posted by septer on 5-9-2008 at 4:07 pm
Craig: I´m with you… The whole “double it times three” is making my head explode…
posted by GTT on 5-9-2008 at 4:42 pm
I’m going to defend Master P as well. We often think of New Years coming after Christmas, as it usually appears later on during the “holiday season.” But technically New Years is the first day of the year…Christmas comes 359/60 days later. This makes his threat all the more extreme.
posted by Bob on 5-9-2008 at 5:27 pm
Re: #4 Kanye… Shouldn’t he have been talking about ASTRONOMY, not ASTROLOGY? He mentions a planet, not a sign.
posted by Mrs. Flo on 5-9-2008 at 9:26 pm
Why no mention of the Common and Canibus chorus:
Y’all n_____S is scared, I’m your worst nightmare squared
That’s double for n____s who ain’t mathematically aware
Unless the nightmare equals two, which also equals Common or Canibus, this just doesn’t make any sense.
posted by pops on 5-9-2008 at 10:15 pm
everybody who posted a comment response is C O R N Y. it’s rap, you can find a line in every almost every 16 that’s spit that is stupid or incorrect in some way or form.. cornballs
posted by Jordan on 5-10-2008 at 12:07 pm
Don’t care about the math (already done above) but my favorite bad (c)rap lyric is Cypress Hill “Insane in the membrane”:
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Excuse me, the brain is an ORGAN. Can you please shut up now. Grr…..
posted by Flip on 5-10-2008 at 1:48 pm
You classified astronomy with astrology? Are you kidding me? If you want to believe in the influence of Zodiac on human nature and stuff like that, that’s your wish, but please don’t insult real scientists by categorizing it with astronomy just so that you could continue to use the word “Science” in the title “Droppin’ Science”. Kanye West did not use the word “astronomy” in his lyrics, nor did you invoke any astronomical concepts in your objection. There was absolutely no call to drag astronomy’s good name into the picture. You owe astronomers a full apology.
posted by Laughing Buddhu on 5-10-2008 at 4:08 pm
@ Laughing Buddhu
You’re clearly not an Aquarius! But try to chill out anyway.
posted by Ransom Riggs on 5-11-2008 at 12:22 am
Rip The Jacker aka Canibus, does not belong on this list. I might be wrong, but hear my logic out.
He isn’t trying to kick science, well at least not earth science when he mentions degrees of density. Most of the rhyme is all centered around Final Fantasy game play, for those of you who used to play this back in the day. More of the whole freestyle is as follows:
I stand firm, my words burn through your exterior
The eat away at your materia, I’m superior
While you only pretend to be, I can double my density
from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly
Six, multiplied by five by four by three by two
then one, go head and calculate the sum
The time has cometh, I was summoned to punish
Motherfuckers with mouths to run it ? with rubbish
When I come through, niggaz stand stiller than statues
Cause if I have to, I’ll battle your whole rap crew
First he mentions materia, which is a big part of the game, then he mentions the degrees of density. I think he was kicking Final Fantasy science, read the first post on this site and you will find mentions of the density of materia for summons/spells: ffnet.org/forum/final-fantasy/science-final-fantasy-3445.html
then he mentions the 6×5x4×3x2×1, this, I believe, is a reference to either a power up type of thing in the game or probably a mini game like the chocobo games in one of the FF releases. I didn’t play this game much, but watched my little brother play it for hours, and by the way, what type of rhyme would: I’ll double my density try to aim at anyways? Most people would just interpret that as doubling your thickness or something, which still isn’t that dope of a rhyme and I know Canibus doesn’t spit that crap, he’s educated. then he mentions: when I come through niggaz stand still like statues, and battling a whole rap crew. I believe this is in reference to Final Fantasy Tactics, where one of the summons what that you could temporarily turn some of the people on the opposite players side into stone statues, and those players are part of what he mentions as a whole rap crew (this game was like almost a chess type thing, but geared towards war tactics where you controlled little armys).
Let me know what you guys think? I think it was great that you guys did a rap post, but I just can’t believe that one of my top three favorite hip hop/rap stars could belong on it.
Keep up the good work though guys/gals, you all rock!
Peace,
FYBER.
posted by FYBER on 5-11-2008 at 4:03 pm
Rip The Jacker aka Canibus, does not belong on this list. I might be wrong, but hear my logic out.
He isn’t trying to kick science, well at least not earth science when he mentions degrees of density. Most of the rhyme is all centered around Final Fantasy game play, for those of you who used to play this back in the day. More of the whole freestyle is as follows:
I stand firm, my words burn through your exterior
The eat away at your materia, I’m superior
While you only pretend to be, I can double my density
from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly
Six, multiplied by five by four by three by two
then one, go head and calculate the sum
The time has cometh, I was summoned to punish
Motherfuckers with mouths to run it ? with rubbish
When I come through, niggaz stand stiller than statues
Cause if I have to, I’ll battle your whole rap crew
First he mentions materia, which is a big part of the game, then he mentions the degrees of density. I think he was kicking Final Fantasy science, read the first post on this site and you will find mentions of the density of materia for summons/spells: SORRY, GUESS I CAN’T POST LINKS HERE, SO JUST DO SOME GOOGLING TO FIND THE REFERENCES, OR EMAIL ME FOR A LINK.
then he mentions the 6×5x4×3x2×1, this, I believe, is a reference to either a power up type of thing in the game or probably a mini game like the chocobo games in one of the FF releases, help me out if possible with a confirmation or not, anyone who played in the past? I didn’t play this game much, but watched my little brother play it for hours, and by the way, what type of rhyme would: I’ll double my density try to aim at anyways? Most people would just interpret that as doubling your thickness or something, which still isn’t that dope of a rhyme and I know Canibus doesn’t spit that crap, he’s educated. then he mentions: when I come through niggaz stand still like statues, and battling a whole rap crew. I believe this is in reference to Final Fantasy Tactics, where one of the summons what that you could temporarily turn some of the people on the opposite players side into stone statues, and those players are part of what he mentions as a whole rap crew (this game was like almost a chess type thing, but geared towards war tactics where you controlled little armys).
Let me know what you guys think? I think it was great that you guys did a rap post, but I just can’t believe that one of my top three favorite hip hop/rap stars could belong on it.
Keep up the good work though guys/gals, you all rock!
Peace,
FYBER.
posted by FYBER on 5-11-2008 at 4:09 pm
Rip The Jacker aka Canibus, does not belong on this list. I might be wrong, but hear my logic out.
He isn’t trying to kick science, well at least not earth science when he mentions degrees of density. Most of the rhyme is all centered around Final Fantasy game play, for those of you who used to play this back in the day. More of the whole freestyle is as follows:
I stand firm, my words burn through your exterior
The eat away at your materia, I’m superior
While you only pretend to be, I can double my density
from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly
Six, multiplied by five by four by three by two
then one, go head and calculate the sum
The time has cometh, I was summoned to punish
Motherfuckers with mouths to run it ? with rubbish
When I come through, niggaz stand stiller than statues
Cause if I have to, I’ll battle your whole rap crew
First he mentions materia, which is a big part of the game, then he mentions the degrees of density. I think he was kicking Final Fantasy science, read the first post on this site and you will find mentions of the density of materia for summons/spells: CANT POST SITES, so google for info or hit me up for a lizink.
then he mentions the 6×5x4×3x2×1, this, I believe, is a reference to either a power up type of thing in the game or probably a mini game like the chocobo games in one of the FF releases. I didn’t play this game much, but watched my little brother play it for hours, and by the way, what type of rhyme would: I’ll double my density try to aim at anyways? Most people would just interpret that as doubling your thickness or something, which still isn’t that dope of a rhyme and I know Canibus doesn’t spit that crap, he’s educated. then he mentions: when I come through niggaz stand still like statues, and battling a whole rap crew. I believe this is in reference to Final Fantasy Tactics, where one of the summons what that you could temporarily turn some of the people on the opposite players side into stone statues, and those players are part of what he mentions as a whole rap crew (this game was like almost a chess type thing, but geared towards war tactics where you controlled little armys).
Let me know what you guys think? I think it was great that you guys did a rap post, but I just can’t believe that one of my top three favorite hip hop/rap stars could belong on it.
Keep up the good work though guys/gals, you all rock!
Peace,
FYBER.
posted by FYBER on 5-11-2008 at 4:12 pm
sorry for the multiple posts, they weren’t showing up yesterday when I was trying to post a comment.
PEACE,
FYBER.
posted by FYBER on 5-12-2008 at 2:46 pm
Holla at a playa!
posted by Amy on 5-15-2008 at 10:42 am
Thank you so much for posting this!!!! I haven’t stopped laughing at the lyrics or the comments yet!!! I love it!
“cocaine is a hell of a drug” - hilarious!
posted by Mary on 5-15-2008 at 10:46 am