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Ransom Riggs
Stand-up Comedy: Funny Urinals of the World
by Ransom Riggs - May 14, 2008 - 10:44 AM

I embarked on a recent trip to New Zealand fully expecting to be wowed by breathtaking landscapes and sublime vistas. What I didn’t expect was to walk into the bathroom of a Wellington bar and find two gaping, lipsticked mouths waiting for me. I’m referring, of course, to the urinals:
urinals.jpg
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one to be taken off-guard by these urinals: “Virgin Airways had to cancel their plans to use the Kisses urinals at their John F. Kennedy airport lounge in New York after fliers complained that they looked like the shape of a woman’s mouth.” That’s when I realized, there’s a whole world of wacky urinals out there just waiting to be micturated in! Like this one, also in New Zealand (the Queenstown Sofitel, if you simply must pee there):
sofitel.jpg
It’s a bit tough to see in the photo, but the women are armed with measuring sticks, magnifying glasses and other humiliating implements. (Nothing like a trip to the loo to make you feel small.) This photo of musical urinal has been making its way around the internet:
tuba.jpg
If you’re in a sporting mood, these interactive soccer urinals, found by Flickr user OndraSoukup at a McDonald’s. (If you want one for yourself, check out the Wee-Goal company’s website.)
goal!.jpg
You can flush with pride in the Southwestern Chinese city of Chongqing, which has opened a four-story, 1,000-toilet bathroom facility they hope to have designated the world’s largest by the Guinness Book. In a perhaps misguided attempt to beguile foreigners of all persuasions, they included a row of Virgin Mary-themed urinals:
mary.jpg
Well, that’s sure to piss a few people off.

Comments (10)
  1. What no R. Kelly style urinals?

  2. The New Zealand one with all the women wouldn’t necessarily make you feel small…it just depends on which urinal you chose. Some of the women look quite impressed :) Just pick an ego-boost urinal, not one of the others!

  3. Just don’t eat the mints!

  4. WOW!!!! I love the virgin mary ones. That is the business right there!

  5. If you go to the Bucca De Beppo restaurant in Los Angeles, the mens room door handles are brass penises and there are pictures of various women over the urinals pointing and whispering and there are recorded voices of women whispering in Italian and laughing.

  6. Which bar in Wellington?

  7. @Dawn –

    The bar is called the Malthouse. Best beer selection in New Zealand!

  8. My sister had her 21st at the Malthouse… well the old one on Willis St!
    There is a stuffed deer in the Womens toilets at the General Practitioner in Wellington too, haha

  9. my boyfriend actually dragged me into the men’s room in Queenstown to show me all the ladies staring at him peeing. It had to be seen to be not misunderstood!

  10. Ah, thanks. It must be in their new location on Courtenay Place (I walk by it every day on the way home!)

    I’ll have to tell my husband to go check out the bathroom – will give him an excuse to order beer! =)

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