Labor Day has passed, which can only mean one thing for department stores — it’s time to start planning the Hannuramakwanzmas (or, if you prefer, Chrismukkah) holiday displays. (You think we’re kidding? Remember, Harrod’s was practically celebrating Christmas in July.) Of course, here at mental_floss, we’ve had holidays on the brain for the last two months; our new issue features 10 Religious Holidays Not Yet Exploited by Hallmark. After the jump, you’ll find one of my personal favorites, but before that, here’s our new contest:
There’s probably some day on the calendar that’s not already taken up with an established holiday. Let’s remedy that. Tell us your proposal for a new holiday — who does it honor? How is it celebrated? What day is it and why? Bonus points, as always, for entries that are grounded in some sort of historical or scientific fact.
The winner gets Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets — because, hey, what better way is there to celebrate your new holiday than with a party? This week started a day late, so we’ll give you some extra time — the deadline is Sunday night at 9 p.m. eastern.
Shinto: Shichigosan
The name Shichigosan literally translates to “seven five three,” but (despite our best guesses) this holiday isn’t a celebration of football plays or ATM codes. Rather, the numbers reference the ages of the festival’s guests of honor—children ages 7, 5, and 3. Shichigosan, which falls on the weekend closest to November 15, serves as a kind of rite of passage holiday for the Shinto faithful, and it’s popular in Japan, where Shintoism—a belief system that values nature, ritual purity, and the worship of spirits called kami—is one of the dominant religions.
According to Japanese numerology, odd numbers are considered lucky, which is why these particular numbers are celebrated. Traditionally, boys age 5 and girls ages 3 and 7 dress up in special clothes and visit a Shinto temple to receive blessings from the priest. And while it’s hard not to love a good blessing, Shinto children likely enjoy Shichigosan more for the treats. At the temple, priests give each child two packages. The first has rice to be mixed into the evening’s dinner; the second contains cakes shaped like various Shinto symbols. But the fun doesn’t stop there. Parents also throw parties and give their kids gifts in celebration of the special day, and elders hand out “thousand-year candies,” which carry wishes for a long life.
I hereby propose a holiday honoring one thing we all have in common, and somethint that, without which, we would not be here. The placenta.
So let’s have a happy Afterbirthday!
The traditional celebratory decoration calls for water balloons. :-)
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 9-5-2006 at 5:26 pm
Sheldon, wow. I was planning on writing my own submission (indeed I still am,) but your post warrants a preemptory wow.
posted by Norm on 9-5-2006 at 7:23 pm
Thanks Norm. :-D
posted by Sheldon Siegel on 9-5-2006 at 7:37 pm
Monadoloday
Our culture is riddled with holidays in honor of religion, politics, history, and candy. Sadly lacking from this list, however, is our fair and noble Science. It is with this in mind that I propose the celebration of Monadoloday, to be observed on July 1st, the birthday of one Mr. Gottfried Leibniz. This holiday is an amalgamation of beliefs, much like Hannuramakwanzmas, but it instead focuses on our most persistent now-defunct scientific theories. It goes without saying that Monadoloday is the best of all possible days (by definition if not convention.) The night begins with dinner, consisting of J. J. Thompson’s traditional plum pudding along with a light snack of aetherial apples and polywater, and continues with the ritual singing of cosmological carols by the phlogiston log. All lyrics, of course, should be spontaneously generated from the alcohol consumed. Traditional decorations include magnets (to promote health,) machines that power themselves, and copies of Dianetics. Oops, I didn’t mean that.
Happy Afterbirthday!
posted by Norm on 9-5-2006 at 8:02 pm
Norm, we actually do have at least one holiday that celebrates scientific endeavors, Mole Day (http://www.moleday.org/). Mole Day (Oct. 23rd from 6:02 am to 6:02 pm) marks the discovery of Avogadro’s number, and is celebrated primarily by high school chemistry students (and usually not by choice). The big problem with Mole day is that the 6:02pm cutoff is not going to be popular with professional boozers trying to go out and have the “best Mole Day ever!” And let’s face it, what are holidays, really, besides a one or two day addendum to the weekend where you and your friends have carte blanche to get completely blotto without fear of judgement (judgement of your drinking problem that is. Others will still snicker at your disheveled appearance and lack of fashion sense).
While we’re on the subjects of current holidays that aren’t widely celebrated, obviously I would be remiss if I didn’t cover Festivus. Like Chrismukka, this holiday was introduced into the lexicon through television. I will now defer to Wikipedia for the explanation:
Festivus is celebrated each year on December 23, but many people celebrate it other times, often in early December. Its slogan is “A Festivus for the rest of us!” An aluminium pole is generally used in lieu of a Christmas tree or other holiday decoration, shedding holiday materialism. Those attending participate in the “Airing of Grievances” which is an opportunity for all to vent their hostilities toward each other, and after a Festivus dinner, The Feats of Strength are performed. Traditionally, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and “pinned.”
I have been part of Festivus celebrations for the past two years and have found it to be extremely enjoyable.
Here’s the holiday that I’m planning on celebrating this upcoming weekend; it’s called Futbaligan, and it’s basically a celebration of being able to wake up every Saturday and Sunday for the next four months and immediately start drinking and watching football. For those of us north of the Mason-Dixon line, this day serves an alterior purpose. Getting completely invested in football right now will serve as a protective shell against the reality that our weather is going to really suck starting pretty soon, and lasting until about next April. People in the South don’t have this extra motivation, but they’re already way more into football than we are so it doesn’t matter. And we don’t have hurricanes, so I guess it’s a decent trade-off.
Finally, this past Spring I noticed a holiday expansion project that wasn’t as widely embraces as I had hoped. If you were paying attention to the Guinness TV spots in early March, you would’ve heard the term “St. Patrick’s Day Season” over and over again. That’s right folks, it’s not a day anymore, it’s a season!
posted by Vincent on 9-5-2006 at 11:06 pm
Malthus Day
Every December 23rd, all nations of the world celebrate Malthus Day to honor the death date of economist Thomas Malthus in 1834. On this date, all babies born are killed on the spot, and fornication on is taxed regressively. Diehard observers may also don a fake hare lip.
posted by metsfan001 on 9-5-2006 at 11:55 pm
Well, at my high school, we celebrate pi day on March 14 at 1:59 pm (3/14 1:59pm). There’s contests to see who can memorize the most pi, who can eat the most pie, etc. Completely pointless, but fun.
As for my idea of a holiday, I think that we should have an official Freaky Friday – you choose a partner and switch lives for the day. No? Well, okay, I have more. How about a Sunday Punday, where you can only speak in really bad puns and cliches for a day? Or, on the same not, Penday, Panday, and Pinday? (Sorry, I got a little carried away there)…
Oh, you want an actual holiday? Well, that’s harder…how about National Call In Sick To Work Day?
posted by Sammy on 9-6-2006 at 12:11 am
March 18: National Hangover Day
A holiday celebrated mostly by supermarkets, as V8 will be vastly discounted (preferrably with a 10 for $10 sale at Acme).
A Wiki search turned up that it is also the day of St. Anselm of Canterbury, but the only link I can come up with is the episode of Family Guy where Peter shows Chris his Irish heritage. A super-advanced civilization is shown and a voice over says “This is what we think Ireland looked like before the invention of alcohol.” All the scientists take a swig and immediately get into violent fights.
posted by Kate on 9-6-2006 at 1:14 am
For those who aren’t Irish or pretend to be Irish, March 17th is St Patrick’s Day.
And March 18 is my birthday. ;)
posted by Kate on 9-6-2006 at 1:16 am
How about a holiday in August? Call it Viking Day and celebrate the people who really discovered North America (or Vinland). We’ll drink mead out of tankards, wear horned helmets and blonde braids. Prizes will be given for the best mustache (Ben Davidson and Sam Elliot can judge), most lutefisk consumed, funniest Ole joke, and at the end of the day, instead of a Burning Man, we’ll set fire to a boat and have a true Viking funeral for the end of summer vacation.
posted by Adrienne on 9-6-2006 at 2:10 am
I would love to celebrate some type of Opposite Day. It would be celebrated on 9/6 (expanding on Adrienne’s idea of a good August holiday).
On this day, people have to follow the stereotype of the opposite gender.
Men have to be emotional (over-emotional?) and cry at least once, preferably to a chick-flick, while women CAN NOT cry.
Men must get upset over some random holiday (i.e. a 238 week anniversary) and women must pretend not to notice.
Women get to go out and get drunk with their friends all night, but men get to stay home from work and act as “housewives” all day by watching tv and eating Bon-bons.
Men may take women to the Theater for a show that the women don’t want to see (I see this causing the emergence of Metallica based rock operas).
Women have to have one thing on their mind all day. They must think about it every 3 seconds, and let their new “brain” lead them through-out the day.
posted by Tucker Steele on 9-6-2006 at 9:11 am
I think we should just have a floating holiday that is individualized to everyone in the U.S. Just call it “National My Day” and it is to be spent doing nothing but being by yourself for one whole day.
posted by JDahle on 9-6-2006 at 9:34 am
After reading about the surprising death of Atilla the Hun yesterday…I thought a “Make Love Not War” day would be appropriate.
posted by Victoria on 9-6-2006 at 2:03 pm
In an effort to follow the rules (and finish my thought), I propose “Make Love Not War” day be celebrated annually on Apirl 5th (reflecting Attila’s birth year 405). We could celebrate with “sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll,” organize anti-war protests thru-out the world, and then all go home and make out ’till it kills us.
posted by Victoria on 9-6-2006 at 4:52 pm
Following up with my Viking Day: the holiday should be observed on August 21: two months after Summer Solstice, four months before Winter Solstice, and one month before fall begins. Minnesota will host the main celebration but each state will have its own festival. Part of the fun for the Minnesota Viking fans will be lining up in Duluth, finding Green Bay fans and “doing the Braveheart”: mooning the Cheeseheads across the border.
posted by Adrienne on 9-6-2006 at 5:55 pm
Try Googling
“talk like a * day” -pirate
to see how many variations on Talk Like A Pirate Day there are. I’d heard of T-L-A-Prospector-D, which is why I thought to try it in the first place.
posted by OwenKL on 9-8-2006 at 4:41 am
I propose an August holiday (because August has no major holidays, other than my birthday) which we will call Mutual Admiration Day.
On Mutual Admiration Day, tradition will dictate that you make a point of admiring everyone you encounter.
It will be especially important to admire those you do not normally see eye-to-eye with, which will make the political talk shows much much more fun to watch. I can just see Ann Coulter and James Carvell having to spend even 15 minutes of air-time saying nice things about each other.
posted by Nancy on 9-9-2006 at 5:56 pm