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I think I’m living in the cat Bermuda Triangle. It seems like every day, another one goes missing, and another 150 missing cat posters decorate the trees and phone poles in my neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, I always feel sorry for their poor owners — but I also find myself thinking, more often than not, what a terrible name for a pet. But the inspiration for this blog was this one, which I just had to snap a picture of:
This cat, poor lost soul that he is, has not one bad name, but two. (You let the kids name the cat, didn’t you? Bad idea. I nearly named my mother’s fox terrier “Falcon” when I was a GI Joe-obsessed nine-year-old.) Little wonder it ran away. Because when it comes to naming your pet, there should be some basic ground rules. It should sound like a pet, not like your stoner roommate. That rules out Gary, Ryan, Jeff, Amanda, etc. (Chris Higgins and I were once housemates, and we had a fancy goldfish named Paul. That’s a terrible pet name — it’s also only a fish; I never would’ve done that to a dog.)
You can also go too far in the other direction, and give your pet a really cutesy, self-consciously pet name pet name. This is also a bad idea. According to The Internet, here are some of the worst real names of this sort:
Norman Tinkle-Winkle (cat)
Sir Crapsalot (dog)
Neuteronomy (cat)
Pussalini (cat)
Beowoof (dog)
Fussbudget the Squeak (cat, kinda cute actually)
Yet another genus of Bad Name is the Overly Long and Formal Silly Name. To wit:
Capt. Beauregard Schmoo-Diddeley (cat)
General Colon Bowel (dog)
Senator Loomis P Nutley III
Scootacious P. Fruitwinkle
Countess Rumpleteazer Cattulus Anastasia Hecate-Baalith of Kalma Nefferkitty Baghera Bastet la chate noire
Sir Meowington Pudger Cat The Third
Then there are the absurd head-scratchers, all given to cats:
Small Man in a Catsuit
Chinese Food
Ducttape
Hors D’Ouvres
Volume Discount
Freeway
But hey, that’s just my two cents. What are the worst pet names you’ve run across?
PS! If anyone HAS seen a tailless cat that answers to “Tailless” in Santa Monica, let me know and I’ll give you the number to call.
Comments (178)
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i had a boss with a cat named Miss Mumsy Kitty. still my most favorite cat name ever.
posted by lotus on 6-6-2008 at 10:09 am
I named my female black lab Euripedes because I liked the way it sounded when I said it.
I have since shortened it to “Eurip” which sounds a lot like “Europe”.
People at the dogpark think I’m wierd.
posted by chris on 6-6-2008 at 10:10 am
Don’t name your pet “Help”.
posted by RobertSeattle on 6-6-2008 at 10:15 am
We knew some people with a black lab named Phideaux.
Growing up, my grandma had a cat named Kat. Very confusing.
posted by Jason! on 6-6-2008 at 10:20 am
i am guilty of ridiculous pet names, my first dachshund who died last year was mr. belvedere. my current doxie is dr. truman rabinowitz-klien (just called truman). my australian shepherd id adelaide and my cat is hazel-louise
posted by emily on 6-6-2008 at 10:24 am
I had a male and female cat once, they were named “Mr” and “Mrs”. I thought that was very cute, not abusive!
My current cat is named Jelly Belly…b/c she is pretty lean every where else but her belly!
posted by Pink Coat on 6-6-2008 at 10:26 am
When I was a little kid my aunt had a cat named Peyote. I was obsessed with it since I didn’t have any of my own pets. I would always be talking about how much I loved Peyote and I didn’t understand until much later why my mom always tried to shut me up.
posted by Kim on 6-6-2008 at 10:26 am
I’m not one to talk, since we named our cat F*ckhead Jones. The vet’s office thinks his name is Mr. Jones, however. And we’re so gaga in front of him that we usually just call him “Bébé”. (I swear I’m not as stupid as I just made myself sound.)
posted by Alison on 6-6-2008 at 10:28 am
My Corgi dog is named Jabberwocky and my Blue Heeler is named Rockatansky (in Mad Max he had a blue heeler… since Max’s last name is Rockatansky it seemed like a good fit.)
Needless to say when I tell people the names of my pets they think I am weird. I call them Jab and Rocky for short.
posted by Kelly on 6-6-2008 at 10:28 am
My boyfriends dog’s name is ZERO! He is a sweet 95 pound mastiff/pit mix
posted by Jennifer on 6-6-2008 at 10:29 am
I had a single girlfriend who named her dog “Honey” so when she got home at night, she could open the door and yell, “Honey, I’m home.” Not weird, but kinda sad….
posted by Fran on 6-6-2008 at 10:30 am
My dog is actually named Bertram Van Munster – but it’s usually Bertram, Bert, or just B.
posted by J. on 6-6-2008 at 10:37 am
My newest cat earned his name, Scooter, by his flighty nature; I’m SO calling him Scootacious P. Fruitwinkle tonight!
My neighbors found a black cat who had accidentally taken a spill in an oil puddle, and named him Slick. I’ve also known a few who chose to name their dog Diogi…which is just lazy IMO.
posted by Johnny Cat on 6-6-2008 at 10:39 am
I have two dogs and their names are Rufus and Dixie. Very normal, right? Dixie was always just a Dixie. She looks like the type of hound mix that would hang out with a bunch of Southern kids in a movie set during the Depression era. Rufus, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, narrowly escaped being called Poopie, Fenway (which I still like), Bacon, or Sir Winston.
posted by MN on 6-6-2008 at 10:40 am
our cat was named lunchbox and his little sister petrie dish but we just called her petrie
posted by allison on 6-6-2008 at 10:41 am
My wife has had a cat named ‘Faster’ (short for Faster Pussycat) for thirteen years now. We also inherited a Chihuahua named ‘Captain Handsome Valentine’ we call him Handsome for short.
posted by Phil on 6-6-2008 at 10:43 am
An acquaintance named his cat Elvis specifically so that he could ask all of his neighbors, “Have you seen Elvis?” when the cat got lost.
My neighbor has a dog named Dee-Oh-Gee. (pronounced as one word.)
I have heard the advice that you should never give your pet a name until you have shouted that name outside.
posted by n2y2 on 6-6-2008 at 10:44 am
My late cat Sophie was originally named Pookie Monster. You’d think she was covered in ruffles and bubblegum… had to change that STAT!
I’ve been looking to adopt a dog and the names you see on Petfinder.com are really ridiculous. One dog was named BOO YA! Honestly.
posted by Jill on 6-6-2008 at 10:51 am
My ex-husband named our dog Teton (after the Mountain Range in Wyoming). Come to find out, that’s not a very nice word in French (hint–slang word for breast). Who knew, I even took 4 years of french in high school and college. Needless to say, I got the dog in the divorce. She has a multitude of nicknames now, inlcuding Teeter Tots–my favorite.
posted by Cathy on 6-6-2008 at 10:52 am
When my brothers and I moved out my mom replaced us with 6 Dogs, 5 Yorkees and a shih tzu. Names? Piper, Chloe, Audri, Baily, Carly, and last but not least Bubba (the shih tzu)
posted by JM on 6-6-2008 at 10:54 am
I intend to name my next dog “Duh.”
posted by Li on 6-6-2008 at 10:55 am
RE Kim: That’s awesome…
We had a yellow lab in our building (he and his owner recently moved) named Hoover. I can only speculate that he earned that one…
posted by Bekah on 6-6-2008 at 10:56 am
Growing up I had a sheltie we named Lucky, because he was born on the 4th of July. Turned out he wasn’t lucky though and we had to put him to sleep after he began having multiple violent seizures every night. It was really sad to wake up and see foam around his mouth and the little guy passed out and have to say things like “Oh, Lucky…I’m so sorry”, looking back it was also pretty sad to be eight years old going to school to tell my friends about my sick & dying pup named Lucky.
posted by michael on 6-6-2008 at 10:59 am
My cats formal names are Tybalt (as in Prince of Cats) and Logan (because he bears a resemblance to Wolverine). Their nicknames are the truly ridiculous ones though: Tybalt is variously called Tybtyb, Tybalicious and Bump-for-a-nose. Logan is Lolo, Lowrider, Lowdown, or more often than not, Fattycatty or just Fatty. Oh, and Logan is also sometimes called “You B@stard!” (he is also similar in temperament to Wolverine as it turns out)
posted by Amanda on 6-6-2008 at 10:59 am
Ok, so here are my cat’s names:
Chester (big fluffy orange)
Chairman Meow (brother of Chester, also big fluffy and orange)
Monkey (we didn’t name her)
and
Lady Clawdia of Nor (we call her clawdia)
Ok, so maybe not the best pet names…but hey, we like them.
posted by Benjamin M. Strozykowski on 6-6-2008 at 10:59 am
My favorite pet name I had was “Ask’m”. Worked amazingly well when people would ask what his name was.
My wife also had two ferrets named Dawg and Cat, due to the fact that her ex-husband would not let her have a dog or a cat. Note the ‘ex’ on that ex-husband part.
posted by Brandon on 6-6-2008 at 11:04 am
One of my best friends has a cat named Soren Kittygaard (he’s working on a Ph.D. in philosophy, can you tell?)
Another friend has a dog named Kitty and a cat named Puppy. Go figure (I have odd friends.)
posted by KidJedi on 6-6-2008 at 11:08 am
Growing up I had a cat named Gingerale.
My dad wanted to name our dog Foxy Lady just so he could yell it around the neighborhood.
The best pet names are two syllables.
posted by Paul on 6-6-2008 at 11:08 am
the funniest pet name i’ve heard lately is “mr. barky von schnauzer” which is the name of a dog in a petsmart commercial.
posted by casual_observer on 6-6-2008 at 11:16 am
I used to work at a Credit Union, the VP of lending named his dogs Credit and Debit.
posted by Witty Nickname on 6-6-2008 at 11:16 am
I have a turtle I named Shellshock. My mother had a cat without a tail named Tailless Wonder.
posted by Erik on 6-6-2008 at 11:19 am
My family is horrible to our pets. My sister got a dog recently and wanted to name her Achilles (as in “Achilles, Heel!”) her bf said that was not so funny (I thought it was hilarious) and the dog is… well… female, so they named her Keelie instead.
Not so bad I suppose, but the family cat was named Alex (which betrays the first law). We, however, have taken to calling him on occasion Alexander the Great, Alexander Vanderkitty, and Lex.
Another cat we’d formally named Sylvester (yes, as in Tweety and), but the name that seemed to stick was the alternate “That d@mn cat” something my stepdad called it. My little brother (all of two or three at the time) believed that was the cat’s name, although said without breaks. It was funny watching the little guy toddle around the house calling “Thatd@mncat! Thatd@mncat!” We have occasionally forgotten that he was Sylvester in the first place.
Worst of all, (I think) was the family friend that named her dog DOG, the spelling, so it sounds like deeohgee when the dog was called. I would laugh so hard, but it’s kinda sad. Like “tail-less.”
posted by ACute Angle on 6-6-2008 at 11:20 am
I’ve actually had a few names that I’ve given to cats that fall into your list of no-nos.
There was the second cat I ever owned who was named Sammy (I didn’t name him) and his cousin Jasmine (I did name that one, but it was after her grandmother who was also Sammy’s grandmother)
Currently, I have Indira, named by the local animal shelter where I got her; Duchess, named by the neighbor I got her from; and Flizzie, named by my son when he was five – I think it’s a combination of fluffy and frizzy with an ie for kicks, but I could be wrong.
posted by Jennifer on 6-6-2008 at 11:22 am
After reading this post, I immediately thought of all the pets (past and present) that my boyfriend and his family have. When he was a kid, my boyfriend had a horse named Snack Bar, and currently he has a cat named Ice Cream. The story is pretty funny how Ice Cream got his name. Before Steve aquired the cat, he belonged to his mom and stepdad. His mom commented on how similiar he looked to another stray they had taken in and said to his stepdad, “he must be one of her offspring.” He then asked her what she just said about “ice cream” and, the name stuck… My kitten is named Oliver, it seems pretty boring compared to everyone else!
posted by Rosie on 6-6-2008 at 11:22 am
All these ‘lost cat’ posts remind me of Stephen King’s ‘Hearts in Atlantis’.
You might want to be on the watch for Low Men in Yellow Coats!!! (lol)
posted by JaneM on 6-6-2008 at 11:27 am
My dad, way back in the day, had a dog and he couldn’t decide on a name so he just called her Puppy for a long time. Then she wouldn’t answer to anything else so he changed her name to Poppyseed (Poppy for short) to seem more normal haha.
posted by Liz on 6-6-2008 at 11:27 am
My brother has had come interesting names for his cats:
• Bear
• Dog
• Cat
• Bam Bam
But the BEST name for a dog is “Stay” (or Sit). Then you can confuse the heck out of it when you call it — Come here Stay! Stay, come here! Stay, stay.
posted by Brian on 6-6-2008 at 11:27 am
My cats Name is Pie. My girlfriend just named her Kitten Ironman Spraynrd Furgeson.
I call him spray.
posted by Nathan on 6-6-2008 at 11:27 am
awesome!
my brothers gf’s Jack Russells name is Jack!
My friends dogs name is DOG!
My nieghbours dogs name are Dude and Dudet!
Some guys dogs name at the dog park are
Atlas (Mastiff) and Alphabet (shitzu)
My female Corgis name is Billy.
posted by foxy on 6-6-2008 at 11:28 am
My cat’s full name is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Everyone calls him Mo for short. Strange but cute. I heard rocker Greg Khin named his cats Gig and Roadie. Now that’s cute!
posted by ks on 6-6-2008 at 11:31 am
I had a cat name Vito Kittyone. I am a big fan of the Godfather.
posted by Cynthia on 6-6-2008 at 11:32 am
I’ve got a russian blue named Bill. He thinks he’s a dog.
An orange fuzzball named Evander Holycat. I adopted him from a place where his siblings and friends all got hit by cars on a busy street. Named him after Evander Holyfield, after he got beat badly and retired. Turns, out, it was a girl. So Eve sticks most of the time.
One named Isadore, rescued her just before the remnants of hurricane Isadore dumped on us for a week. She has about 1/4th of a tail. Really odd/cool looking.
posted by Dan on 6-6-2008 at 11:34 am
I believe Pink (the singer) named her jack russell terrier ‘Fucker.’ Kind of cruel, if you ask me.
posted by MJ on 6-6-2008 at 11:36 am
Our current cats are named Charlie and Rey (as in Mysterio). The cat before them was named Chip (as in Hazzard even though she was a female kitten not a small soldier). My kids are creative. My brother and I had pupies named Sparky (his) and ZaZa (mine). But by far the worst name was one I gave to a stray dog we took in just a few years ago. Lt. Penny Briscoe. When we realized that she had a leaky bladder and was wet all the time, I changed her name to Penny Piscoe. I sicken myself.
posted by liza on 6-6-2008 at 11:36 am
My cat’s name used to be Felix, and we still officially call him that at the vet’s office. It’s morphed into something horrible, really. We call him several names:
Mutton McNutt
Muttonhead (he has a GIANT furry head)
Bubb Rubb (after that guy on the web talking about whistle tips)
Yeah. We’re that strange.
posted by Miranda on 6-6-2008 at 11:39 am
My aunt had a golden lab named Honey. Honey was a terrible pet, with a really terrible name. The dog ran away at least once a day, reducing my aunt to a screaming, angry mess in the driveway, screaming “Honey! Come back, Honey!!” It was all so sad and hilarious.
I love ReCaptcha: ‘Philbin girl’ this time.
posted by adrienne on 6-6-2008 at 11:41 am
My friend has a cat named Khaht
We once had a cat named Molasses Cookie Bear. We just called him Moe.
We also had a horse named Spuds.
posted by staci on 6-6-2008 at 11:42 am
at the dairy i worked we found several kittens during the few years i was there and named them crazy names. ReRe for retard, he was so dumb; Puff, he was found in a manure pit and after cleaning and drying him off he was a little round puff ball; and a bother and sister pair, named Bonnie and Clyde.
posted by joan on 6-6-2008 at 11:47 am
My brother has two dogs:
Cookie and Monster
Also, he says his next two will be Dammit and Woman. (As is “Dammit, Woman, come here!)
My cats are Heidi and Seal – everyone thinks this is due to Heidi Klum and Seal the singer, but really my little Seal had problems with his legs when you was born and drug his back two like a seal sliding over ice.
posted by Cassie on 6-6-2008 at 11:50 am
I had a friend with two cats named William B. Gentleman and Gretta VonWiskerton. Another friend plans to name is cat Chairman Meow, which I still think is awesome, I don’t care what you say.
posted by Ben on 6-6-2008 at 11:51 am
I’m guilty. My room mate and I recently rescued two gutter kittens. We named them after the two largest video rental stores in our town from our childhood: Captain Video and Mr. Movies.
I want a dog so I can name it King Arfer.
posted by Patrick on 6-6-2008 at 11:51 am
I am the worst when it comes to pet names. Both of my dogs have pretty normal names (Zoe & Sam, both yellow labs), but I never call them their names, I make up all of these ridiculous nicknames for them. Zeen Bean, Zeensters, Zozeeno, Peanut butter butt, Scoomba, Skeeno, Skammy, Sambo, Slambo, Dino head. My poor dogs. And now that I have attempted to spell all of these nicknames I realize I need help…
posted by Kris on 6-6-2008 at 11:52 am
I once had an American Eskimo named Fuzzball, or Fuzz for short. When my ex and I first got her, we were having trouble coming up with a name. Well, I’m something of a Star Wars geek…she (the dog, not the ex) did something funny in the kitchen, and I said “Laugh it up, Fuzzball.” It stuck.
I also once had a bird (a cockatiel), and wanted to name it Larry. The ex wouldn’t hear of it. (In the end, we never actually named it…it was just “the bird”.)
posted by David on 6-6-2008 at 11:55 am
I must admit we have had some interesting names for our pets…
A black Lab named Nickel
Moose a yellow tomcat
Kaliopei Jane — a calico cat named for a character on Grey’s Anatomy
and our Black Lab named Drambui — yes after the liquor.
posted by LouLou on 6-6-2008 at 11:57 am
The little black terrier that my mom grew up with was named Casey. Which isn’t that bad. Until you realize that my grandfather’s nickname was, yep, Casey.
The 3 dogs my family had were Shotzi, Shado, and the current one is Shaman. That last one is a female; my brother named her. The current cat is Jamie; my sister named her after our cousin.
My cat is Loti. I wanted a Irish name and couldn’t think of any that worked. So she is Luck Of The Irish, LOTI.
posted by Danyel on 6-6-2008 at 11:57 am
haha- as kids, we named our cats after all the soft drinks we’d encountered: Mountain Dew, Pepsi, 7-Up, Sprite… does that count? ;)
posted by ann on 6-6-2008 at 12:00 pm
I had a beautiful gray cat that my husband named “Mouse.”
It was funny when my 3-year-old was at preschool and kept drawing pictures of a cat only to tell the teacher “That’s Mouse”.
posted by Kay on 6-6-2008 at 12:02 pm
Personally, I like the overly formal and silly name category, though none of my pets has really had this.
I had a tank full of fish named after beat poets. It actually started with a pair of goldfish named Jack and Diane, but Diane died, so Jack turned to Jack Kerouac, so his new tank mates were Neal and Allen (after Cassidy and Ginsberg, respectively).
I then had a hamster with the fairly normal name of Pansy, but she slowly became Little Miss Bratty Pants after her personality became clearer.
posted by fruppi on 6-6-2008 at 12:02 pm
we always had strange pet names growing up. we had an old brittany named Lady her brother was named bud. later we had a chocolate lab named Argus (greek mythology) and Buck a brittany who was the great great grandson of Bud and Lady’s.
my brother has continued the tradition by naming his mutt Ein (anime character) while my 2 cats are named C.C. (short for Crazy cat) and Reese because she looked like a Reese Peanut Butter Cup and because she digs in the trash for candy wrappers.
posted by kc on 6-6-2008 at 12:05 pm
A friend in junior high/high school had a cat named Fat Sh*t. It had a real name, but because it was a rather obese feline she gave it that nickname.
My fiance’s family has a cat they call Snickers, but we mostly refer to it as Cat or Furball (it’s evil…..).
posted by Kate on 6-6-2008 at 12:07 pm
My sister’s cat was Sargeant Fluffbuns. Mine son’s each have cats. One is Ninja Cat and the other is Tripod (she only has 3 legs)
posted by Jeanjean on 6-6-2008 at 12:08 pm
Our current cat is named Danger Cat. Everyone gives me strange looks when I tell them her name, but my vet totally gets it. The first time I took her in, I told them her name, and the vet tech said “You can’t say it like that. You have to say it ‘DAAAAANGER CAAAAAT!!!!’”
You should see the looks when I bring her in if there’s anyone in the waiting room.
posted by Anthony on 6-6-2008 at 12:11 pm
We have a male cat named Sir Charles Regal Winthorpe and a female named Smudge. I don’t know why, but for some reason their names have evolved to Binky and Lumpy.
posted by Sarah on 6-6-2008 at 12:14 pm
How about “Stop-It” for a dog?
My aunt got my grandmother a little puppy to keep her company. All my grandmother said to the dog for the first week she had him was “stop it,” so that became his name. The two became close and Stop-It was despondent when she died.
I’ve also had Barney (a female dog), Jack Daniels (a lab mix called JD) and Mr. Stubbs (a stumpy manx with a one inch tail).
I say name your pets all the crazy names you want — just give your children normal names!
posted by Lindsey on 6-6-2008 at 12:15 pm
A high school classmate had a dog named Bill that died. His next dog (of the same breed) was therefore named SOB–Son of Bill.
Another classmate named her cat Bob Spelled Backwards.
As for myself, my pet-naming theme is literary characters. My favorite was my blue beta, Puck.
posted by nutmeag on 6-6-2008 at 12:21 pm
My mother works in a bakery with a woman named Tabitha, whose 5 year old son named their family dog “Wild Force.”
The son’s name? Cornell Tyrell Ursell Warren – Jones.
posted by Amanda H. on 6-6-2008 at 12:21 pm
Wow, after reading some of these, my (rejected by my girlfriend) idea to name one of our cats “Launchpad” might come back into contention!
We settled on Sprocket (after Fraggle Rock) and Rio (after the Duran Duran song).
posted by Kevin on 6-6-2008 at 12:22 pm
I used to have a fighting beta fish named Sid Fishious.
posted by Heaz on 6-6-2008 at 12:25 pm
Somewhat similar to Lindsey’s “Stop-It”, my neighbor had a cat named “Kitty Goddamit” because that’s how his wife started every sentence addressed to the animal.
I once had a pair of Welsh Corgis named Lesson and Critter, which are approximate pronunciations of the Welsh words for Spot and Rover.
posted by loomis on 6-6-2008 at 12:25 pm
I inherited a rather elderly cat named Chigger, like the small biting insect. Her age prohibited me from trying to name her something else. It’s interesting to explain, but really horrific when my friend’s tactless boyfriend refers to her as Chegro. I’m from the south too, and he sure doesn’t help our image…sigh…
posted by Anne on 6-6-2008 at 12:28 pm
I had a pair of cats named Franklin and Eleanor. I also had a blonde lab who used to chew a lot when he was a puppy. After he chewed the crotch out of my girlfriend’s jeans, we named him Calvin Klein.
posted by Al on 6-6-2008 at 12:33 pm
When I was married, my husband wanted a Harley. We couldn’t afford one so we got a black cat and named him Harley T-Bone Davidson. Aka. Nitty-Nitty or Nuss-Nuss.
posted by patty on 6-6-2008 at 12:35 pm
I always wanted to get two basset hounds, a girl and a boy.
The girl was going to be named “Her royal highness Penelope, Empress of the Dutch East India Territories”.
The boy would be “Mr Puddles”.
I thought t was a nice contrast. My wife nixed the idea. :-(
posted by Jim on 6-6-2008 at 12:36 pm
I have a friend at work whose cats are Ritalin and Vlad the Impaler. If that wasn’t bad enough they call them BabyKitty and KittyHead as nicknames!
posted by Amy on 6-6-2008 at 12:39 pm
I live in Banf, Alberta, which is located in a national park and surrounded by wild animals, including coyotes which like to eat stray pets. The other day I saw a poster asking for help to locate a cat called “Snack.”
posted by Swany on 6-6-2008 at 12:40 pm
We have a friend that named her fish random sounds… for instance:
*click* beep beep
where the *click* is clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth, like in some African tribal languages. lol, I still crack up at that…
posted by Whoop Whoop on 6-6-2008 at 12:41 pm
My sister named her cat “Mr. Perchival Whiskers” because her perches on things. He is “Mr. Whiskers”, “Whiskey”, and “Whisk” for short. Also sometimes reffered to as “turd breath”. I just had to add it since its not posted yet. I was under the impression it was common, I guess not.
posted by Sean on 6-6-2008 at 12:41 pm
my maltipoo’s name is natural born killer…he weighs 4lbs soaking wet.
My mom’s parrot’s name is George W – guess because of all of the squawking it does…
posted by Christian on 6-6-2008 at 12:42 pm
Once, my sister found an abandoned kitten. We took care of it and raised it by hand, but my Mother said “if that kitten lives, it’ll be a miracle. She did survive, and yes, she was named “Miracle.” I refused to stand on the porch and call for miracles, so, outside of the house, I would shorten her name to “Miry.”
posted by Karl on 6-6-2008 at 12:42 pm
It doesn’t get more pretentious than pedigree names. Our first Samoyed growing up was named “Frosty Sasha of New Meadows” but as we never had plans to show him, he became Sasha, Sassafras, Pretty Boy Purple, or Pillow Boy (answered to them all!).
We had another Samoyed named “Brokey”. She had floppy ear that we thought was “broken” when we were young.
My husband and I have a Munchkin cat named Opie (he’s midget-short and orange) and a dog named Tuck. Try screaming that one through the neighborhood!
posted by Erin on 6-6-2008 at 12:45 pm
The first thing I thought when I read this was “Lucky” and another commenter has already proven why! I worked at a Vet Clinic and one of the first things they taught me was to never name a dog Lucky. They ALWAYS have the worst luck.
p.s. what not to name your kids? after your pets – no matter the good intentions or love you kid will only remember they were named after an animal. :)
posted by Julia Rae on 6-6-2008 at 12:45 pm
A greek tortoise named The Duchess Sophia Cieplak von Baldegg. As far as I know, she’s still alive, unless she died from embarrassment.
posted by Abby on 6-6-2008 at 12:47 pm
I had a roommate who had named his barely-trained Pekingese “Ma’am.” (I live in Texas, where “Sir” and “Ma’am” are still commonly-used courtesy titles.) But, this was very confusing for older female passer-bys, when his dog would run away from him on walks and he would shout “Stop, Ma’am! Ma’am, stop!”
posted by Karl on 6-6-2008 at 12:47 pm
My wife names our feline MANDU– Hench Cat Mandu
posted by Oce on 6-6-2008 at 12:49 pm
Talking about not letting kids name the pets — my Aunt had one dog we named “Peanut Butter” and another one we wanted to name “Kool-aid”, but she changed that one to “Punch” instead.
posted by Karl on 6-6-2008 at 12:50 pm
i had a Beta Fish on my desk at work for a while and his name was MASTA… as in Masta-beta hehehehe…
When i was a kid, my dad was cleaning out the gutters on the roof and a parakeet landed on his shoulder and stayed all day, so we took him in and named him Leonard becaues he was a FREE BIRD… hehehe.
posted by Jennifer on 6-6-2008 at 12:54 pm
My dad told me that his dad (never met him; died before I was born) named his dog N*****. Isn’t that horrible?!? This was right around the time of the Civil Rights movement (mid-1960s) when he did this and I guess he wanted to make his “point”.
It’s the worst ever!
PS: No one else in my family is racist (that I know of)
posted by TeacherPatti on 6-6-2008 at 12:54 pm
My roommate and I adopted our cat Sebastian from the SPCA but we had to leave him there for two days while he got neutered. We fully intended to change his name but in the interim for his surgey we refered to him as Sebastian and it stuck. Then she adopted a stray and we named him Oliver (Twist) Sebastian and Oliver. Our two 18th century little boys. Her boyfriend has taken to calling Sebastian “my little gentleman” after the line from Anchorman…it works for him.
I also have a goldfish named Ralph Lauren. Unfortunately Vera Wang and Michael Kors never made it through college. RIP fishies..
posted by Caitlin on 6-6-2008 at 12:59 pm
A friend named his dachsie “God”. Why? God is Dog spelled backwards.
posted by hannah on 6-6-2008 at 1:00 pm
I named our latest cat Rumour after all the rumors that were going around about everyone at my job for some reason. I love it, but my mom doesn’t like it. We’ve had bunches of cats, including Pillar (spanish for “to catch”)Spooky (he was found on Halloween), Tazzy (short for Tazmanian Devil), and Tabby (derived from That Awful Beast- TAB- my mom used to call him)
I’ve also had three, giant catfish named Reptar, Ug, and No Name (because I couldn’t think of a cool name for the third).
posted by Sunflower on 6-6-2008 at 1:00 pm
I forgot to mention a couple of friends’ pets’ names…Peter Lorre (because the cat was bug-eyed) and Kitty Paws (named by a very young child).
So what is the opinion on naming pets after celebrities ala Lorelei from Gilmore Girls and her dog Paul Anka?
posted by fruppi on 6-6-2008 at 1:07 pm
As a namenerd, I can’t wait until I live on my own in a place where pets are allowed. It’s the best place to use names you would never saddle a child with!
I have:
A cat named Megumi (she came named) who is alternately Magoo, Goo, Goozie-gal, Cat, and Stupid Cat.
A dog named Maximillion Rufus, who is Max, of course.
I’ve had:
A cat named Psyche, who was usually Psycho.
Another cat named TJ, who was Puddinhead 99% of the time
A third cat named Bill, who was usually Billhead.
A final cat named Clara, always Clara or Clarabell.
and a fish named Phinneas.
A friend of a friend had a cockatiel named Finley, which I think is awesome to this day.
posted by Cat on 6-6-2008 at 1:07 pm
I had a roommate with two fish named Tofer and Willy.
… and I used to have a hamster named Bork.
posted by Kevin on 6-6-2008 at 1:09 pm
I have a ragdoll that i found wandering the roads… Meepers for the meeping sound she makes all the time, butters because her fur is soft as whipped butter!
Cat: Sabah Meepers Butters
Nicknames: Runt, Sabby, perpetual 2 year old
posted by Inaya on 6-6-2008 at 1:10 pm
My brother had a cat when I was younger, probably 4 or 5. He had the bright idea to let me name it because he thought it would be cute (he was 17). I named it Dogfood.
The little cat disappeared a few months after we got it, go figure…
posted by Kelli K. on 6-6-2008 at 1:11 pm
I have had cats named “Stewball Anakin Speedracer” (called ‘Satan’) and “Princess Gladys Fuzzybritches”. I also had a succession of Siamese Fighting Fish I named after Chinese Commmunist leaders.
I’m a horrible person, I know.
posted by Mary Sue on 6-6-2008 at 1:20 pm
My English Angora rabbit is named Sir Bruce Hoppington, and I like it.
posted by Hipiedoll on 6-6-2008 at 1:22 pm
I have a cat named Dweezil Beeblebrox (the Dweezil part was pre-named) she had kittens, one of them was named Methuselah (oldest man in the Bible) and it got smooshed by a rocking chair a few months after. Bad name.
posted by Erin on 6-6-2008 at 1:32 pm
I have a black cat named Ebon. No, I didn’t forget to type the “y.”
His variant nicknames are Mr.E, E-bone, Ebon-ezer Scrooge, His Royal Highness Sir Baby, Professor Catface Meowmers (thank you, brad neely), Meow Mix, and Damn It, Quit Fucking With The Blinds! which is probably the name he’s most familiar with.
When I was a kid I named 3 cats Smokey, Smokie, and Smoky. Evidently I was all about some smoke as a child.
posted by nikki on 6-6-2008 at 1:34 pm
I knew a guy whose dachsund is named Showcase Showdown.
posted by L on 6-6-2008 at 1:37 pm
My husband named our cat Hatdish because he didn’t really like the cat at first. So he wanted to make the cat into a hat or a chinese food dish. The name kind of stuck and my husband likes the cat now.
My childhood cat was Cotton, cause she was soft like cotton.
posted by G on 6-6-2008 at 1:39 pm
I also named my grandparents’ pug they found as a stray “Puppy,” even though it was an adult. To a four-year-old a small dog= a puppy.
When he died, my mom named my grandparents’ replacement pug after a Dallas Cowbowys player.
posted by L on 6-6-2008 at 1:41 pm
I named my cats Chairman Meow and Meowsolini.
I also named my beta fish Untitled No. 2 because I couldn’t think of a name for him, and the fish I had before him died.
posted by Lauren on 6-6-2008 at 1:42 pm
Interesting topic. I must say, I am not personally guilty of said naming atrocities for our furry companions. I HAVE been an observer of come wierd ones:
A cross-eyed cat named “Teenager”
A (white) rabbit named “mayonaise”
and a (brown) rabbit names “frijole” which means ‘bean’ in spanish. My Dad just called him TLC though- stands for “tastes like chicken”. He didn’t like the bunny.
posted by ashley on 6-6-2008 at 1:44 pm
Had a golden retriever named Biff.
Currently, my parents have an austrailian shepard mix (not sure with what)named Bosco after the chocolate drink.
If you have a python, don’t name it Monty…it’s been done.
Likewise, if you have a Chow, try not to name it bear.
posted by E. King on 6-6-2008 at 1:46 pm
My husband named his parents’ dog Dr. Benway.
Our cat is Pico- named for the text editor (I married the king of the geeks).
My sister has a 2 year old daughter and a 1 year old Labradoodle. She wanted to name the dog Roomba but her husband vetoed it. Instead it answers to D@mn dog.
posted by JenC on 6-6-2008 at 1:47 pm
My pets names:
Tweeker
Bohemeth (Bo)
Gabriel (like the angel)
Kaa (like from the Jungle book)
Sunny
Their species are:
Cockatiel (female who literally tweaks out all the time)
Red Tailed Boa Constrictor (male)
Ball Python (male)
Ball python (female)
Umbrella cockatoo (female)
posted by Valerie on 6-6-2008 at 1:48 pm
Here goes:
A Russian tortoise named Boris
A box turtle named Lucky because the top of his shell was just ever so slightly lower than the lawn mower blade that ran over him
A female cat named Willa
A large (that means fat) male cat named Tripp who prefers to answer to the more descriptive name Grumpy Cat
A skinny male cat with a stub tail name B.L.ZeBubba (Bubba for short) who is so much less evil than Grumpy Cat or Willa
And then there are the chickens – 7 hens named Sam, Della, Satay, Kiev, Marsala, Fricassee and Dumplin’ and our rooster named Karen – just don’t ask
posted by Angela on 6-6-2008 at 1:54 pm
my parents made the grave mistake of letting a 5 year old name the new pet cat. I forget her original name, but at Christmas it became ‘Pretty Christmas Tree’. I eventually settled on ‘Jack & Jill’ as a permanent name just to throw people off.
posted by Kirsten on 6-6-2008 at 1:57 pm
I know you say Jeff is a bad name for a pet; I must disagree.
When I started law school, my wife gave me a cat to help me relax. Mind you, I FREAKING HATE CATS! For reals, what was she thinking. Oh, I know; she would say it was a “gift” and think she could slip it into the family. Obviously, my wife thinks I am retarded. Come to find out, she may be right.
In protest, I named this female cat, Jeff. On the second day of our ownership, she got out and hid under our car. My wife finally persuaded me to come out in my PJs and catch her. After something like twenty seconds Jeff ran directly to me and so showered me with obvious affection that I was won over.
I now have a great female cat named Jeff and could not think of a better moniker for her.
posted by pablopk on 6-6-2008 at 1:57 pm
We rescued an Italian Greyhoud – she’s a VERY energetic puppy – almost a year old. Her name is Addison but I call her Spaz-arina. She answers to that better than Addison. We also have a dachshund – he thinks he’s a very big, very tough dog – his name is Cujoe -it’s perfect for him.
posted by Tatia on 6-6-2008 at 2:06 pm
I named my dog Uzi (short for the Hebrew, Uziel) and people think I’m a gun nut… But, seriously, the worst name I’ve ever heard for a dog is Spark Plug. Ironically, he didn’t have an explosive personality.
posted by Brooke on 6-6-2008 at 2:07 pm
What a great subject… you’ve managed to combine two great human loves:
animals, and the need to talk about ourselves.
And so, here it’s my turn.
The first cat I got once I moved from my parents home in 1993 had two small black stripes under her neck, surrounded by white fur; like little gills. So, of course, I named her Gillian (pronounced Gill-ian not, Jill-ian).
Then, I adopted my (now) oldest cat, Otto, in 1997. He was a stray that used to climb into my mother’s car engine on a daily basis. She was afraid he would eventually die in there. I took him home and thought “Otto” was relevant.
The next year I adopted a dog and named her Aretha, she was the only all black female dog in the litter — and she was almost named Florida or Weezie. Her mother was my ex-roommates dog, Pepper. The other puppies (besides Aretha) were Chili, Poppy, Thor and Brendel-Foot.
Three months later, my roommate and I went to get her a kitten at the Humane Society. We wound up coming home with THREE. Two for her and one for me… on top of the brood we already had at home. She named hers Arbor and Shiloh (way before Angelina and Brad) and I named mine Simeon. Shiloh and Simeon were brother/ sister Siamese Rag-Doll mixes. Simeon (or Sim-Sim or Simmy) is the only one still alive. He’s 10 now.
And finally, my husband and I just adopted a kitten someone else already owned, but was not taking good care of. He was named Ari when we met him and we decided not to change it.
So, at home we have three male cats, all with “real” names… Otto, Simeon, and Ari.
posted by Rena on 6-6-2008 at 2:22 pm
Pet Peeve (pun intended): When people give their pets human names. SOOO creepy!
Not to mention confusing! It took me years to realize that my friend’s sister’s name was Mary, but they called both her and the dog “sissy”. 2 other pet owners I know named their dogs Katie and Maggie. I have nieces with the same names – so now I have to clarify whenever I am speaking to them. Grrr… get creative, people!
posted by linalou on 6-6-2008 at 2:28 pm
My next door neighbor as a child had a cat named Knobdoor. I never got an explanation; they acted like it was as normal as Fluffy.
posted by Meri on 6-6-2008 at 2:39 pm
I had two cats growing up: Whitey (he was all white, go figure) and Stinky (a stray we found after he’d rooted around the garbage bin). A creative bunch were we.
After that we had a Bichon Frise – he came with the name Robes Pierre, but he was renamed Willie. There are conflicting stories about this name. One is that he was soothed as a puppy by Willie Nelson music, and the other is that he was so spazzy that he “ran around Willie-Nillie.”
Now I have a papillion-yorkie mix that we named Wrigley. Named such because he wriggles and squirms, not after the field or the gum.
posted by Rae Rae on 6-6-2008 at 2:50 pm
The nicknames for our cats are usually much worse than the cat’s actual name (though, after reading some of these,I think we did fine).
There were Bonnie and Clyde (cats) and Maggie who all predated me. Then, there was Sneakers who’s name somehow transformed itself into
“Snickles Thaddius O’Fritz Thats His Christian Name” (usually said really fast) or “Snickles” for short. After him we had “Woody” (I honestly can’t remember what her original name wa) who was also called “Wudda Budda Baby Kitty Cat” and we had “Spot” (she had little freckles on her nose and looked like Data’s cat from STNG) who had a tendancy to spray (yup- our female cat sprayed) and ended up being called “Spit Spot” or just “Spitter”. Now the parents have a cat that was originaly named “Boots” (they got her at a shelter) that my parents renamed “Lucky” (she had only been at the shelter for a day) and I started calling “Princess” because of how they treat her which makes her name
Princess Lucky Boots” or “PLB” for short.
posted by Karen on 6-6-2008 at 3:06 pm
I don’t have a problem with people giving their pets human names. We currently have two cats that look identical except one is about 16 and the other 4. The big cat is named Stripey (came to me pre-named) and the little cat is Oscar because my wife thought he was mean, hence Oscar the Grouch. However, we soon discovered Oscar looked exactly like the kitten pictured on the “Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day” t-shirt so he is now called Murder Kitty.
posted by Ralph on 6-6-2008 at 3:11 pm
My roommate’s family has a penchant for stupid pet names. A dog named Mutt, a cat named Pussycat, two toy poodles named Peaches and Cream. We took in a stray cat, and he immediately dubbed her Kitty-Kitty. I refused to call her that so she was just Kitty or Kittikins, though most of our friends called her Miss Kitty. My roommate usually called her Fuzzbutt. One of my friends had two goldfish named One Fish and Two Fish. When one of them died she said she knew for sure it was Two Fish because–wait for it–there was still One Fish left.
posted by Judy on 6-6-2008 at 3:20 pm
My two cats are named Mozart and Snickers. Mozart is normally called Mo, and Snickers got the nickname Fatty McCatty because…. well, because she weighs 17 pounds.
My mother just got a new puppy (chow/shepherd mix) and can’t come up with a name. My siblings want to name him Bowser (from Super Mario Bros, not Sha Na Na).
My reCaptcha wors are Mrs Dustries. Not a bad name for a cat, no? ;-)
posted by Amy on 6-6-2008 at 3:23 pm
I once had a fish named Gil.
posted by OU812 on 6-6-2008 at 3:51 pm
My cat’s name is Mr. Kittums, but he’s called Cat, No Bad Kitty!, and Kattila the Hun. My terrier-mix is Rascal (my mom named him) but I call him Monkey, Pooty, Pootface, and Stinky.
Yes, he stinks. Could you tell? :P
posted by bryn on 6-6-2008 at 3:53 pm
My dad is a vet, and he has a client who often comes in with Good Kitty and Garage Kitty…. nothing like picking a favorite.
posted by jzimm on 6-6-2008 at 4:08 pm
i once had a fish named Finnegan, as in Finnegan’s Wake. i was really into James Joyce at the time…
my cat’s name is sort of a human name, but there are two references: Seymour Krelbourn The Toonsinator. the first half from the hero of my fave musical Little Shop of Horrors, and the second half from that funny SNL sketch with Toonses the driving cat.
back when i had two turtles, their names were Sam and Ella. (turtles can carry salmonella)i gave Ella away, it’s just Sam now.
cockatiels: Henry The Bird and
Tristan A Cockatiel
posted by the creature on 6-6-2008 at 4:55 pm
My sister has two cats named Crush(from little nemo) and custard(strawberry shortcake cartoons), needless to say it was my neice who named them. I think though that she inherited naming pets from my side of the family b/c we had two dogs named Goofy and Pumba.
posted by Deanna on 6-6-2008 at 5:26 pm
My dad has had three siamese cats over 30 years. The first was female the second and third both male. All 3 were named “D.K.” for D*mn Kitty”
We always pronounced it Deek or Deeker.
I never thought it was weird until I had to explain it a few times.
posted by Jess K on 6-6-2008 at 5:34 pm
I knew of a sweet little dog named Teabag. The owner said he named it that because when it was a baby and unhousebroken, it would dribble pee as it was carried to the newspaper. What a nut! (The owner, not the poor sweet little dog stuck with that moniker.)
posted by snapp on 6-6-2008 at 5:34 pm
I have a cat named Gerard.
I used to have a black lab named Cora (her Czech-given name that we kept–it was on her pedigree anyways). We got her a pet cat named Obsidian (Sid for short).
My son once named a cat “The Culprit Who Took All The Cheese”.
And my friend has 3 rats — a girl named Kitty and two boys named Derek and Hansel (yes from Zoolander).
I love human names for animals. I’m naming the wiener dog i want to get “Sir David Hasselhoff”.
posted by stef on 6-6-2008 at 6:19 pm
First pet we were allowed to have when I was growing up was a cat. I wanted a yellow tabby, and I intended to name it “Puff”. (I was really into “Fun with Dick and Jane”. A clue to how old I am.) But when we got to the shelter, my mom spotted a solid gray kitten, all by itself, and she felt sorry for it. Guess which one we got? I insisted we name it “Puff” anyway, and when anyone asked why, I said it was short for “Smokepuff”, because by then I was kind of embarrased about the whole Dick and Jane thing.
posted by Pam on 6-6-2008 at 6:22 pm
Kind of interesting that hardly anyone has actually answered the question at hand, which, as I recall, is “what’s the worst pet names you’ve ever come across.” I don’t recall it asking us to “ramble on about your own family pets’ names.”
Worst pet names I’ve ever known:
Todd the cat (I asked the owner “why ‘Todd?” She looked at me like I was stupid and said “because, he looks like a DUDE named TODD.”
I’ll PUKE if I hear of another dog named GUINNESS, BOWSER, FRANKLIN or BELLA. These names are SO overused, and not at all interesting.
posted by BBxx on 6-6-2008 at 6:24 pm
We always had normal cat names:
Ginger, Freckles, Fudgy, etc.
There were the occasional people-y cat names too: Charley, Barney, Toby, Wally, Piper, Elly
Recently I met a little 2 lb dog by the name of “Chicken”.
My friend has a shi tzu called “Sushi”.
Once I met a “Pause” (paws, get it?)
I’m currently cat sitting a “Clyde”
posted by Nicole on 6-6-2008 at 6:32 pm
My dog’s name was Rolex…get it? Watchdog? That shih-tzu lived to be 17 years old, pretty good life for pretty good dog.
And I have a hamster named Lucille Wigglebottom.
posted by Kelsea on 6-6-2008 at 6:32 pm
I’ve had a ton of bad pet names. The best was “Kung-Pao Rocket Cat.” The worst was when I named a litter of kittens by their colors “Yellow Cat, Black Cat, Grey Cat, and Little Grey Cat, and Muddy.”
posted by Matrinka on 6-6-2008 at 7:00 pm
A co-worker at a former job (music school) had two pomeranians named Motif and Musette.
*shudder*
Best name for cat: Cuica.
A cuica is a percussion instrument made from cat gut and cat skin.
posted by Jay on 6-6-2008 at 7:37 pm
My high school boyfriend had a dust mop I mean dog named Back-up.
He liked to walk backwards.
posted by Dana on 6-6-2008 at 7:47 pm
My dad had a beagle named McGeorge Bundy when he was a kid. I’m not sure if he liked the original McGeorge Bundy or just his name.
My dog, a female border collie/lab mix, has the rather plain name “Rooney”, which was fine until I moved to Vermont. One of the big stories locally is a murder trial with a defendant whose last name is Rooney. It makes the news headlines a tad surreal.
posted by Steph on 6-6-2008 at 7:50 pm
A friend of mine named their cat Ceepher, as in c for cat.
My auntie named her two cats Happykitty and Sadkitty because everyone loved Happykitty, while Sadkitty was constantly shunned :p
posted by Kiki on 6-6-2008 at 7:51 pm
My friend had a cat named Freeway. He was named so because that was where he was found.
posted by Kim on 6-6-2008 at 7:54 pm
My friend had a cat named freeway. He was named that bc he was found nearly dead as a kitten on the side of the freeway.
posted by Kim on 6-6-2008 at 7:56 pm
i’ve had some fun names for animals over the years. i had a cat when i was a teen that would let out this low rumbling sound whenever he ran around the house(i’ve never heard any cats make a sound even remotely similar). we named him harley. i also have a black cat right now named franklin delano bluth. i even made him a shirt that reads “bush doesn’t care about black cats”. and when i was young, we had a cat that had it’s two hind legs fused to his belly, so he could only walk on his two front paws. it was quite amazing to see actually, because he was pretty mobile. i called him wheelbarrow.
posted by mr. e face on 6-6-2008 at 8:03 pm
I once inherited a cat named Freeway. She didn’t like me very much. Now I seemed to have developed a bad habit of giving other people’s cats horrible names and convincing everyone to use my name. I changed one cat’s name from “Greycloud” to “Onion” and another from “Blackie” to “S**thead”.
posted by Shella on 6-6-2008 at 8:16 pm
I and The Right Honorable Bookins McFluffyPants, Ambassador Plenipotentiary of the Cat Planet do not agree with your “silly name” philosophy.
Okay, I admit I just gave the cat that name (”Boo” is what we call her) just to be dumb.
Generally, I don’t care for cats all that much.
posted by Ben Dyer on 6-6-2008 at 9:02 pm
We have a Silkie chicken. Her real name is Betty. She is called, more often than not, Miss Poop-a-lot. It’s very nice when I call her to me when out in the yard. The neighbors probably sigh heavily. Our house is in a very suburban area, so our only pet – due to allergies to cat and dog – is a chicken. Oh well. I could start calling her Kentucky…
posted by katiekat on 6-6-2008 at 9:17 pm
Wow, Flossers really like to talk about our pets, don’t we?
My dog’s name is Roxanne. My ex named her and she’s not really sure where it came from.
But she doesn’t have to put on the red leash.
Cat’s name is Atticus Finch (last name).
posted by kevin on 6-6-2008 at 11:51 pm
I have a mouse named Nedwick Sebastian Spazz-Fuzzington, Earl of Wigglesworth. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how that happened.
posted by Mary on 6-7-2008 at 12:05 am
I had a cat named Riboflavin. For real. He was called B2 for short.
A friend had a cat named Dinner.
My dad’s cat was named Railroad.
There was a guy in my old condo with a French bulldog named Burrito.
Word.
posted by Sirius on 6-7-2008 at 12:10 am
When we adopted our dog, my dad and brothers really wanted to name him Ziploc… no particular reason, really. We just ended up keeping the name he already had: Scampy.
However, a few months later, my youngest brother became dissatisfied with the simplicity of the name Scampy and officially renamed him Scampus William James Bond.
posted by Bethany on 6-7-2008 at 12:28 am
I’ve had a lot of pets throughout my life, and most of them that we had when I was younger were named by my dad, so they tended to be from fictional characters and motorcycle companies. We’ve had: Bilbo, Frodo, CZ, Norton, Yamahop (rabbit), Vincent the Legendary Black Shadow (yeah…) and more that I can’t even remember now.
Our current pets all have pretty good names I think: our German Shepherd mix is named Deutz (after a German engine company), an old groucy Siamese cat named Hamlet, and a young cat named Moxie (because she was a very sick kitten when we got her and the medicine amoxicillin saved her life).
I had a cat named ATM (pronounced Adam) because I found it outside the ATM. ATM also turned out to be a girl, though…
posted by Nicole on 6-7-2008 at 12:29 am
i had a guinea pig named fidget. he earned it.
posted by mds on 6-7-2008 at 2:05 am
our cats have always had ridiculous names such as
Cap’n Samuel J. Tatters (missing half a tail, had battered ears, and several absent teeth)
Rainbow
and Boo-Boo Buttercup
and currently French Fry N’rleans Wingo Sugartits Jones
Lord Alfred Jay Mojo
and Penelope Merope Smidgen
this is a family thing…my little brother (who is six) named his two new kitties
My Sweet Julie-Ann and Tuesday’s Dinner.
they just kind of deserve it for being feline :)
posted by Em on 6-7-2008 at 2:16 am
i adopted a french bulldog with the worst name ever… Mr. Peepers. Try going outside and yelling that!
posted by Jackie on 6-7-2008 at 9:46 am
The first pet I had growing up was a black male cat named Bimbo. My mom adopted him before I was born, and he came with that name. I remember walking to kindergarten with my mom and to the tune of Bingo, we would sing “there was a family had a cat and bimbo was his name-o. B-I-M-B-O” etc. Ach, it makes me cringe now!
posted by Rebekah on 6-7-2008 at 9:50 am
I have two male cats named Look and Out. This is after a cat my Dad had named Lookout, because that is what my Dad yelled at him when as a kitten he almost got stepped on by a cow. One time my cats were terrified by the house cleaners and disappeared in the house for hours. I told my friend about it, but that Look had reappeared. She called back a few hours later and in the course of the conversation, I told her that I had found Out. She said “found out what?”
posted by kary on 6-7-2008 at 10:07 am
My cat looks like a little bear CUB and her name is Addison, the street where Wrigley Field is. (where the Cubs play).
My other cat’s name is P.J., doesn’t stand for anything. But we call her Jammas or Pajamas or Pajama Cat or Pussycat Jammas.
My grandparents’ Rhodesian Ridgeback mutt’s name is Mary. We got her from a pound, so she was already named, but she was a Christmas present…Mary Christmas!
posted by EEB on 6-7-2008 at 11:23 am
Our dog is named Cuchculainn after the Celtic warrior god. He looks like a little red wolf so the name suits him. We just call him Coolie, though.
Of course we named our son Conall, who is Cuchculainn’s son in the mythology. You might say we went a little far on that one.
posted by lightlylilly on 6-7-2008 at 12:27 pm
cats ‘kittybunny’ and ‘lampwick’,
inbred dog named ‘antigone’,
chinchilla named ‘awesome’,
canary named ‘archimedes’, and if I ever find a baby squirrel her name will be ‘hazmat’!
posted by Batspit on 6-7-2008 at 12:41 pm
I know two dachshunds named weiner-dog & chili-dog. Both females.
posted by sue on 6-7-2008 at 2:36 pm
we had a pug named Lady Tugbutton of C and L Farm. When we went to get her, she kept tugging the buttons on Hubby’s shirt. We called her Tug for short. A friend of mine has a cat named Teaspoon because he was found in Teaspoon Creek. My son-in-law (beofre he was my sil) had a dog named Satan, which he thought was hilarious because he lives across the street from a church. He thought it was funny to go out and holler for him on Sunday mornings.
posted by Lori on 6-7-2008 at 5:18 pm
I tend to give my fish silly and/or ridiculous names.
Among my menagerie are two bettas, each named Redshirt. (When I refer to them collectively, they are “The Away Team”.)
posted by Mel on 6-7-2008 at 10:11 pm
A friend of the family had a hugely puffy scowly-faced gray Persian named Yasser Aracat. Personally, I think that’s brilliant.
A coworker owns cats named Polly, Patrick and Walter. Nice, but lacking the elan of my own Tackleberry Louise the black pug. She goes by “Tacky,” mostly — or “Fur-Bearing Space Frog.”
Mel, I’m LOL at “The Away Team.”
posted by collier on 6-7-2008 at 11:30 pm
My late mother had a cat whose given name was Willow, they called him Willie, and his name he gave himself was Ivan Pea Stomper the Great. [or the terrible]
My current cat is called Noni, but her official name is Noniferous Aurelis Pegasus the Third.
posted by StephanieAnn on 6-8-2008 at 1:11 am
We have a calico cat named Marzipan. My mom calls her Marzi, but we call her Pan or Mrs Pan.
- Jess
posted by Jess on 6-8-2008 at 10:57 am
A friend of mine has a cat named Basic Chinners. Formally, Basic. Chinners among friends.
posted by KBar on 6-8-2008 at 11:35 am
our neighbors had a cat named pizza man. and my friend had two cats named skeletor and Dave Coulier (uncle joey from full house)
posted by Katherine on 6-8-2008 at 11:41 am
Some really good and bad names up here.
Bad:
“Tiger”-orange tabby, I was about 6, no creativity to that one
“Timothy” ,eh, on creativity see above
Good-
“Chantilly Lace”, all white cat came with that one from the shelter.
“Soccer”, brown/grey tabby & white mix, he loked like a little soccer ball. When he grew up, he looked like he’d eaten one!
“Percy”, for persistence, a stray we took in
“Bubbaz”, adopted originally for a friend who turned out to be a major flake, Bubbaz was just something he said, that Bub perked up to, to he got the name. It really fit him. He was also pajamas, peanut butter, caramel kitty, king cat, bubbles, bubalub, butter butt…
“Brutus” My little one was only a week or two old when I settled on this name that hardly fit him. I like irony. All grown up, he was still afraid of his own shadow, so it was always funny that he had this great big hulking name. He was also boo bear, sweet pea, sqeaky, mommy’s baby
Bro had lizards called Elroy and Leroy until Leroy turned out to be Petunia-got pregnant. Mom had a cat named Tiny as a kitten who grew up to be enormous-LOL
posted by Beth on 6-8-2008 at 3:38 pm
I am a dog groomer and some of the most common names are Lady, Sassy, Missy, Max, Buddy, and Gus.
Through the years my animals have been:
Monet (cat)
Antigone (cat)
Mr. Dickens (beagle)
Ophelia (rott)
Whiskey, Tequila, Jack, Stolski, Bacardi, Jericho Blue (all pits)
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern (Great Pyrenees)
Mrs. Inky(white rabbit)
Khan (iguana because I didn’t know the sex, so it could be either Genghis or Shaka)
Edgewood Dirk (cat, female)
Dorian Grey (cat)
The best though were two white rats named Ratscicle and Freezerburn. I worked at a wildlife facility that was donated dead rats from the U. of Oklahoma. I got them as ‘pinkies’ and they had been gassed and frozen for an unknown amount of time. Needless to say, my boss was a little surprised when she went to investigate the rustling noise she heard in the bags and bags of rats.
They were also fumigated when I didn’t hide them one floor lower in the dorm I was in. They fumigated the whole building for a fire that occured Halloween.
Rats will inherit the earth.
posted by Amanda on 6-8-2008 at 4:20 pm
We used to have a pair of lizards named Reinhold and Weege after a name I saw in the credits of the TV show “Night Court”.
posted by Anthony on 6-8-2008 at 8:52 pm
My grandfather (mother’s side) was the official namer-of-animals in my family. Some memorable ones were Weedhopper (for a mutt) and Rookerfoot (for a dachshund.)
posted by Oswallt on 6-8-2008 at 10:48 pm
My friend got an overly hyper black lab puppy and named him Beauford — Boofy for short. And now she and her roommate have a cat named Twisted. Some adjectives make for weird names.
A now-ended webcomic I still read, the main character had a kitten she named Zot, which is actually a pretty good name. It just…fits with cats in general
And Norman Tinkle Winkle is the BEST NAME EVER :D
posted by heather on 6-9-2008 at 2:59 am
My Dude’s ex-girlfriend named her cat Mr. Boots.
something about that just irks me. maybe cause its his ex, maybe cause Mr. Boots sounds like a serial killer to me.
my cats, however are awesome. they are brother and sister, and are Donna and Blitzen. hahaha
posted by bbg1129 on 6-9-2008 at 1:11 pm
I currently have a dog (hound mix) named Dodge – We call him Dodger most of the time. I have 2 cats, Blake (who we call Blaker-Boo and Blaker Brockermeyer) and Sampson (who we cal Sampsonite luggage).
Some of the more unusal pet names I have seen are a hamster named sushi, a cat named worm, and pair of cats named lost and found and a boxer named Cassius Clay Aiken.
posted by KJ on 6-9-2008 at 1:24 pm
I have a friend with a dachshund named Andouille.
But I want a German Shepherd named Jethro! “Who’s a good Jethro?”
posted by EEB on 6-9-2008 at 10:32 pm
My aunt (who used to breed cats) had this one cat who for a long time did not have a name, and when people would come over, they’d say, “well, you have to name that cat SOMETHING!” So they named her Nonica, which I have probably spelled wrong and which is Japanese for “something”. We called her Noni.
My parents also named a cat Pillsbury, because they were going to name her and her sister (/hyacinth) after flowers, but PB was black and the tips of her fur were white so she looked like she had been dunked in flour. So really, they were both named after flowers, just not the same kind.
I also have a cousin with a beagle named Silly- she started out with a real name, but since they kept calling her “You silly dog!” it stuck.
I myself have a cat named Jasper (he came that way- he’s orange and stripey, like a variety of Jasper the stone) and a chihuahua named Pigwidgeon, like the owl from Harry Potter. We call her Pig, which confuses some small children and a few of my friends.
posted by Kat on 6-10-2008 at 4:31 pm
I have a cockatiel named Lola (for the song) because you can’t tell the sex unless you have the DNA tested ot they lay an egg
I have a friend who’s pets are all named for poisons, Atropine, Cyanide, Strychnine.
And another friend who had sheep named Gladys Night and the Pips, and one that I named Captain Fuzzface.
posted by Em on 6-10-2008 at 4:49 pm
Current cat names:
Sparky, Shit, B, Prince, Jester
Former cat names:
Psycho, Freddie (Krueger), BW, Ferret, Squirrel, Butterball, Spook
posted by TTFK on 6-11-2008 at 8:35 pm
My dog’s name is Jovi. Everyone who hears it thinks I’m saying “Jody” and I have to correct them with, “No, like Bon Jovi.”
She has a variety of nicknames from family members including Jovial, Jovacious, Bon Bon Jovi and Joveeeeee.
posted by sarah on 6-16-2008 at 2:29 pm
Best one I ever heard was the dog named Kitty.
You could say Here Kitty….and the dog showed up.
Too cruel.
posted by Jon on 6-18-2008 at 8:24 pm
My best friend had a Dog named “Mac” and a cat named “Cheese.” :-)
posted by Col on 7-7-2008 at 4:46 pm