Comments on: When the Parents Come to Stay … and Stay

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 23:18:09 +0000

Being from a Hispanic family (well, Hispanic on one side and Irish-English-American on the other), I’m used to the family being required to have relatives stay with them while they’re in town. I actually found it odd when I went to visit my boyfriend’s mother and found out we had to stay in a hotel. I found it a little rude, and he found it normal.

That closeness never really bothered me, but it drove my boyfriend insane. When my mother came to visit, she slept in my room and HE had to sleep in the guestroom/office. I would hate to see him during our family reunions, where we often have 10-15 people stay in a three bedroom house.

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:34:09 +0000

Try this one on for size- My soon-to-be mother-in-law stays with us 2 nights a week…every week…for the past 2 years and probably for the next 3 or 4. She works in MD, but lives in PA and telecommutes 2 days a week from home. Thankfully, she and I have become incredibly close, but its always a tense moment when we disagree on things like which placemats to buy (Yes, I said PLACEMATS). I want red and she wants yellow and it turns into a three week long-decision making process- which I usually lose (my placemats are, indeed, yellow). We are not ‘allowed’ to have overnight guests in our spare bedroom without her prior consent, and if I do something I think is not only courteous, but my every right to do in my own home (like vacuum ‘her’ room), I will definitely hear about it the following week. I’ve gotten used to it, and like I said, we’re actually (usually) very close. I’m the daughter she never had, and she’s a very cool and inspiring woman. It appalls my family, who feel that an engaged/ almost newlywed couple should have some breathing room to begin their life together. I must say- they have a point.

By: CK

CK — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:01:58 +0000

I have a different problem… my in-laws live up the street from us. I see them practically every day! They are both nice people but my husband is their only son so they visit or we visit them frequently. Plus, since his parents pay for a lot of food/trips we take together, my husband always wants to go with his parents whenever I want to go somewhere. It’s nice of them to include us but I’d like some alone time too!!
At least they’re not like my old co-workers’ mother-in-law. She also lived down the street from my co-worker and she would nag and change things in their house. For instance, once she didn’t like the Christmas decorations up, so she came over while they were at work, took them all down, and put up her own!!

By: Been There

Been There — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:56:16 +0000

Here is the other side. Son and daughter-in-law encouraged me to move to their fair city when retired. Did that. Moved to neighborhood close by – now it is like I do not exist anymore – I think my DIL did not understand that she might feel threatened when her hubby wants to spend time with her MIL. So have lost a son and a DIL – and working through starting over in a new city. Painful.

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:06:36 +0000

My parents can’t sit still when visiting. My mom is used to always having something to do or work on at home (she sews alot) that when she comes for a visit she is always wanting to do something even if is hem all my pants for me. My Step-Dad will sit on the couch all day watching TV and when he has control of the remote you are not watching anything else and we have only 1 TV. I’m glad my sister lives in the same town I am and always hosts our parents as her place is bigger and has more ammenities for them.
I typically will take our grandmother as she and the cat get along great (she is a warm lap for the cat to cuddle in for hours on end).
So far I’ve not had to deal with the inlaws visiting as my MIL does not like to ride in the car and anything more than an hour is too long (they are about 6 hours away)

By: adrienne

adrienne — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:02:43 +0000

My mom moved into my house at the end of this April. She brought my (now three year-old) niece with her. My husband and I (with our three year-old) have adjusted nicely… I think. It gets tense when I’m working and can’t find peace, and at night when the girls are cranky and don’t want to sleep. But, all in all, it hasn’t been that bad. I might add, though, that Chris and I get along abnormally well with my mother. And we love bunk beds.

ReCAPTCHA (and I’m not kidding): residents lie

By: nutmeag

nutmeag — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:32:51 +0000

I really don’t have too much trouble withe the ‘rents coming to stay. They bought a house down here in San Antonio and I rent it from them. It’s a two bed, two bath house with a large kitchen and good-sized living room, so I don’t feel squished when they come to stay. And since they bought the house, they designated a bedroom of their own, so I never feel like I’m giving up a room for them.

Plus, my farming parents can’t sit still, so I always end up with a ton of home improvements getting done. :-)

By: Joanna

Joanna — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:15:22 +0000

Jennifer’s mother-in-law sounds like my mother. I moved out in March to an apartment a few miles away, and if we go someplace together she still wants me to drive to their house, leave my car and ride with them — even to the point of insisting that I make an overnight trip to Chicago a family trip. I sometimes feel like she’s going to try to plan the rest of my life for me. I hate to think what will happen when/if I get engaged and try to plan the wedding.

By: RBug

RBug — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:09:37 +0000

Ohhh yup. My parents & my fiance’s father & step mom always stay in hotels when they’re visiting. That makes visits a WHOLE lot better. But my fiance’s mom can’t afford hotels & she always ends up on our couch. I’ll just say absence makes the heart grow fonder, sleeping on the couch does not.

By: molli

molli — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:05:20 +0000

Consider youselves fortunate. I took care of my aging parents with the help of a daily in home care service…thank god. My husband & I sold our loft and were house hunting while living at my parents vacant house in Boulder. After my wonderful father succumbed to cancer my elderly mother moved to FL for the winter. Just before we moved to Boulder, my mother announces she is moving back for the summer. Great. It was depressing and difficult with occasional mishaps. My mother died shortly after she went back to FL for the winter. Although it totally sucked regressing back to childhood behaviors as an adult, I would go back to that summer in a heatbeat. My mother was there with me, to talk to, and laugh with. My father was always so happy and kind. Now, those halcyon days are just a memory to me.