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As you may or may not know, our own Jason English is due to become a first-time dad pretty much any minute now, so we thought we’d honor him with the Quick 10 today. We consulted our mental_floss staffers to see why they thought JE would make a good dad – here are the results.
10 Reasons Jason English Will Make a Great Dad
1. Will read Baby English the current values of his baseball cards instead of bedtime stories.
2. Instead of repeatedly watching the Wiggles and the Doodlebops, Jason will make his kid watch Sports Night DVDs over and over.
3. Will be a great SAT prep source due to his unique ability to explain everything in analogies. Unfortunately, his kid will have to travel back in time to 1997 to find that section on an SAT exam.
4. Has a killer Big Bird costume to hand down to his first-born. (For other embarrassing childhood photos of _floss readers and staffers, check out this post from Ransom)
5. Will be ready for child #2 after honing mediating skills on the baby and Bailey.
6. When being the boss doesn’t work for him, he can always turn to The Boss instead (Jason was quite excited about this article)
7. Already has extensive scouting experience to pass on to English Jr.
8. Will turn kid into a champion debater by exposing him or her to the McLaughlin Group at an early age. (Mangesh says Jason has a “bizarre fascination” with the show)
9. Can keep the baby entertained with his first-hand account of Noah’s Ark.
10. Is excited to have the baby despite lack of incentives.
And, as a side note, we fully expect the baby to be dressed exclusively in mental_floss onesies.
That was fantastic. Thanks, Stacy & Friends! I think everyone should take the rest of the day off. (OK, I just really want this to remain the top story for the rest of the day.)
Maybe someone from over at McLaughlin Group headquarters will see this post and send over a Pat Buchanan or Clarence Page onesie. I know they’re on top of this internet thing. My favorite part of the show is when McLaughlin says, “Go to our website where you can iPod the Group.”
posted by Jason English on 7-8-2008 at 2:29 pm
Aw, that’s the sweetest thing ever. Good luck and congratulations, Jason!
posted by adrienne on 7-8-2008 at 2:32 pm
I’ve heard that Jason will also instill in his child a love of all things Zubaz. That, and a mean turnaround jumper.
posted by Josh on 7-8-2008 at 3:57 pm
Well all the best to Jason and his wife (and Bailey) and congratulations on your coming addition! Welcome to the ‘hood (parenthood that is!)
posted by JaneM on 7-8-2008 at 5:29 pm
Congrats, Jason! Are we going to have a baby-naming blog contest, or do you already have that angle covered? :)
posted by Chris Higgins on 7-8-2008 at 8:58 pm
If it’s a boy, we’re all set. But if anyone wants to suggest girl names, we’re still in the market.
posted by Jason English on 7-8-2008 at 9:52 pm
Congrats, Jason! When I had my daughter, we had boy names picked out, because everyone was convinced the baby was a boy. We had a girl. We named her Riley, which had been one of our top boy name picks. I’ve always liked gender-neutral names.
posted by bre on 7-9-2008 at 9:04 am
Congrats!! You’re going to love parenthood, it’s the best! Good luck to your wife for a safe and speedy L & D!
Also, I may be partial, but ‘Adrienne’ is a great girls name. It’s done right by me. :D I see there’s more than one of us here too, so that must mean we’re really smart. ;) Or think we are…
posted by mrs.djs on 7-9-2008 at 12:19 pm
I’ve been a happy Meredith for 25 years now. It’s common enough that most people know how to spell it and rare enough that meeting someone with the same name is something of an event. It also seems to be playground name-twist proof. And people are always telling me what a pretty name it is.
posted by mtm on 7-11-2008 at 2:16 pm
I am also a happy Meredith with the nickname of Dith. People always tell me how nice of a name it is. (This is strange because I only know one other Meredith.)
Other semi-uncommon girl names:
Abigail, Natalie, Clara, Victoria
posted by Dith on 7-11-2008 at 11:23 pm
Perhaps if they have a girl, she should be named CAROLINA - obviously after UNC! :-)
I know *where* Jason went to school, but look the above name sounds better than Duke for a human name, the latter reminds me of the dog from Bush’s beans!
posted by Amy on 8-5-2008 at 10:38 pm