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A third person climbed up the New York Times building last week, forcing the Times to make adjustments to the structure. This trend is similar to the common backyard problem of squirrels scaling birdfeeders. Maybe the NYT can learn from some of these tips to keep critters from climbing up and pillaging the seed:

1. Stick the New York Times building on top of a tall pole, put a barrier below and demolish any adjacent buildings within jumping distance.
2. Grease the exterior of the building to make it slippery.
3. Cap the building with a dome (the windows already don’t open).
4. Put a cage around the building.
5. Electrify the building exterior.
6. Incorporate rotating beams that turn under the climber’s weight. You know, like MXC (the rotating cylinders are a couple of accidents in to the clip)
7. Use a mechanism like the Droll Yankee Flipper, Whipper, Tipper or Dipper.
8. Sprinkle the urine of a natural predator around the base of the building (try fox urine).
9. Hang dried ears of corn outside the Wall Street Journal building to tempt the climbers elsewhere.
10. Beware that squirrels and climbers are prone to biting and promoting agendas.
This made me giggle. Thanks, Sydney!
posted by adrienne on 7-18-2008 at 2:20 pm
They’ll just climb the dome or the cage, duh.
posted by Rollo on 7-18-2008 at 4:56 pm
They could just get out of the news business, then the crazies would find another building to climb.
posted by Reese on 7-18-2008 at 7:07 pm
They could protect the building with gatling guns, like their staff did during the Draft Riots in 1863!
posted by David on 7-19-2008 at 6:26 pm