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Actually, they’re playgrounds from the former Soviet Union, where people were good at making a lot of things — tanks, rifles, factories to make tanks and rifles — but cheerful playground statuary clearly wasn’t one of them. The following playgrounds give me nightmares as an adult; I can’t imagine the many ways they might warp the imaginations of children.
Perhaps this play sculpture from Moscow is meant to impart a lesson: never crawl into a hungry dragon’s mouth.
The doctor is in … and he wants to stab you.
This seems to be some sort of animal? Its gaping maw slick with the blood of innocents?
Break a leg, kids!
Eaten alive:
This must be the playground where the little girl from The Exorcist hangs out:
This is either some sort of phone, or a rune-inscribed portal to the Underworld.
So much worse than a scary clown; probably a character from Russian folklore, this guy couldn’t be scarier.
Even before it was defaced, I’m not sure how this could’ve looked like anything other than an abused youngster.
Fun with gravity:
The decapitated monkey swingset:
Comments (15)
Comment
In Russia ground plays you.
posted by noodles on 7-23-2008 at 11:09 am
I used to live in Germany, and I remember some creepy things on their playgrounds, but these are SO much worse. Kudos Ransom!
posted by Orange on 7-23-2008 at 11:10 am
Great article!
posted by Josiah on 7-23-2008 at 11:16 am
Its gaping maw slick with the blood of innocents?
Coworkers are staring at me now. I can’t stop laughing at that!
ReCAPTCHA: wolves waiting… sounds like a great playground statue.
posted by adrienne on 7-23-2008 at 11:21 am
Hmmm well. That’s not creepy at all…
Perhaps this explains what happened to Putin and why he always looks so dour. He probably grew up near one of these “fun parks”. I think if I spent part of my childhood next to some of these, I’d have a bit of a sinister edge to me as well.
posted by kate on 7-23-2008 at 11:24 am
Oh, and I love the return to classic Ransom: decrepit and abandoned stuff! They are my favorite Ransom posts.
posted by kate on 7-23-2008 at 11:36 am
reCAPTCH: steady republic
posted by Jennings on 7-23-2008 at 12:05 pm
Nothing says fun like decapitated monkeys.
posted by D W Griffith on 7-23-2008 at 1:05 pm
reCaptcha: not beautiful
posted by jess on 7-23-2008 at 1:34 pm
I find the woman with the bleeding eyes the most disturbing. I hope it was vandalized and not actually INTENDED to look like that.
posted by Amy S. on 7-23-2008 at 1:37 pm
Great stuff! Nightmares are born there - in more ways than one!
posted by Charlotte on 7-23-2008 at 3:12 pm
Well, that explains a whole lot of things.
posted by Jonathan on 7-23-2008 at 5:03 pm
Am I the only one who thinks the “abused child” statue actually looks, well, constipated?
posted by Anthony on 7-23-2008 at 6:54 pm
Yikes…if those are the FUN places, then….?
recaptcha: style leans
posted by Dawn on 7-23-2008 at 10:39 pm
I remember burning my thighs sliding down a hot metal slide when I was a kid. It was a scorching hot summer day here in Texas. I landed right on my tail bone and I just sat there on the ground, stunned for several minutes. I don’t remember crying, but I do remember the burning pain. Some would call me stupid, but I REALLY wanted to get on the slide (my mom didn’t take us out much). Now I look at the indoor McDonald’s playgrounds and I think kids are so spoiled these day. Just kidding!
reCAPTCHA: Selfish ex-
ha ha ha! who hasn’t had one?
posted by CatWithASea on 7-24-2008 at 8:10 am