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I was a free-range child. In fact, I think most kids growing up in the 70s, and to a lesser degree the 80s, were. Which is to say that except for school and occasional scheduled activities like Karate lessons (I can still break a board!) and swimming (I’m no Phelps) my time was more or less my own, and how I spent it — within my own limited means — was up to me. I could walk, or bike, or even boat as far from my house as I wanted to (there was a creek behind the house) as long as I made it back home by dinner time. Nowadays, that sort of thing is becoming nigh unthinkable; a recent LA Times article makes the point that kids aren’t allowed to just “go out and play” like they used to:
Today, for most middle-class American children, “going out to play” has gone the way of the dodo, the typewriter and the eight-track tape. From 1981 to 1997, for instance, University of Michigan time-use studies show that 3- to 5-year-olds lost an average of 501 minutes of unstructured playtime each week; 6- to 8-year-olds lost an average of 228 minutes. (On the other hand, kids now do more organized activities and have more homework, the lucky devils!) And forget about walking to school alone. Today’s kids don’t walk much at all (adding to the childhood obesity problem).
Studies have shown that kids who have to “fend for themselves” more tend to develop stronger critical thinking and creativity skills; they’re forced to make their own fun, imagine worlds, become storytellers themselves rather than have stories fed to them by parents and television and the unending narrative that is a hyper-scheduled existence. A vocal advocate for childhood self-fending is Lenore Skenazy’s blog Free Range Kids: Let’s give our kids the freedom we had! In an oft-quoted (and hotly controversial) blog posting titled “Why I Let My Nine Year Old Ride the Subway,” she writes
I left my 9-year-old at Bloomingdale’s (the original one) a couple weeks ago. Last seen, he was in first floor handbags as I sashayed out the door. Bye-bye! Have fun! And he did. He came home on the subway and bus by himself .
Was I worried? Yes, a tinge. But it didn’t strike me as that daring, either. Isn’t New York as safe now as it was in 1963? It’s not like we’re living in downtown Baghdad. Anyway, for weeks my boy had been begging for me to please leave him somewhere, anywhere, and let him try to figure out how to get home on his own. So on that sunny Sunday I gave him a subway map, a MetroCard, a $20 bill, and several quarters, just in case he had to make a call.
No, I did not give him a cell phone. Didn’t want to lose it. And no, I didn’t trail him, like a mommy private eye. I trusted him to figure out that he should take the Lexington Avenue subway down, and the 34th Street crosstown bus home. If he couldn’t do that, I trusted him to ask a stranger. And then I even trusted that stranger not to think, “Gee, I was about to catch my train home, but now I think I’ll abduct this adorable child instead.”
Long story short: My son got home, ecstatic with independence. Long story longer, and analyzed, to boot: Half the people I’ve told this episode to now want to turn me in for child abuse. As if keeping kids under lock and key and helmet and cell phone and nanny and surveillance is the right way to rear kids. It’s not. It’s debilitating — for us and for them.
And one more gem from the Times: “Increasingly, American children are in a lose-lose situation. They’re forced, prematurely, to do all the un-fun kinds of things adults do (Be over-scheduled! Have no downtime! Study! Work!). But they don’t get any of the privileges of adult life: autonomy, the ability to make their own choices, use their own judgment, maybe even get interestingly lost now and then.”
What do you think? Are parents too namby-pamby these days, or is there actually more to worry about? Does all this structure and hyper-parenting make kids stronger or weaker?
I was definitely a free-range child growing up in the 50s and 60s. When our family spent two years in the Philippines, I used to wander into the jungle that surrounded our Naval housing area and play on abandoned Japanese pillboxes, or throw dirt clods at bats hanging from trees — and I was 5-7 years old. We then moved to Astoria (OR), where (at age 7-8) I would wander through the forests behind our Naval housing duplex, catching snakes and eating berries. Likewise, once we settled in east San Diego County in 1961, when I was just 8, I wandered all over town (La Mesa), including through storm drains and across fields.
We’ve lost a lot. ..bruce..
posted by bfwebster on 8-27-2008 at 7:57 am
This is one of the many reasons that we live in a remote area and homeschool our four children. We live in a small town where I can send them out to ride bikes and build forts in the woods and climb trees and catch salamanders in the creeks. I’m still much more cautious than my parents were though…they would have sent me out for the day and not expected me till dinner. I like to know where my kids are all the time. I personally think that is necessary in our society now. BUT I would like to add that my kids would pick TV and video games over biking if I allowed it. It takes work to intice them outside when staring at a TV is so easy and entertaining.
posted by Amber in GA on 8-27-2008 at 7:58 am
I often wondered if we were doing more harm to uor kids by overexposing them to the world without letting them play more. When I was a kid, which wasn’t that far away, my brother and i would spend hours playing by ourselves with no problem. We could and would do whatever we wanted to. however, my five year old niece needs an army to entertain her. She very rarely plays by herself and if she does she has to be in the room with you while she does. she never roams alone like we did, nor does she seem even remotely interested in the things we did as kids. no tree climbing, playing with dolls, playing sports of any kind or just being quiet. don’t get me wrong love her to death.
posted by kc on 8-27-2008 at 7:59 am
As a parent, I think this is a tough call. I think it really depends on the circumstances. I have a 10-year-old daughter, but I live in a small Midwestern town. I’m completely comfortable letting her ride her bike across town to a friend’s house, or go to the community swimming pool without me. But she knows she has to call and check in if she goes somewhere that wasn’t part of the original plan, so I always know where to find her. If we lived in New York City, I know I would feel differently. I think the example of the 9-year-old on the subway is pretty scary. I don’t know if the world is more dangerous than it was when we were kids, or if it’s just perceptions and media coverage that have changed. But I still feel there’s potential danger out there, however random. How would that mom have felt if her child HAD been abducted? Would she have blogged about it defending his independence and justifying her actions? The fact that it turned out okay doesn’t make it necessarily okay for every parent to try the same experiment.
Interesting reCaptcha: 69th 167th
(My daughter has never seen street numbers that big.)
posted by bre on 8-27-2008 at 8:03 am
It’s true. I was given responsibility over my brother when I was five. I was forced to grow up and help my mom take care of my brother since she was newly divorced. I’m pretty mature for my age (21) but I have my moments where I digress into the five year old I was never able to be.
My Mom let me walk to a Walgreens once on a Sunday to get some Robin’s Eggs (yummy!) and a Sunday paper. As I was walking back I picked up a rubber band on the sidewalk and this dog in the front yard starting barking its lil’ head off. Scared the crap out of me. I ran home crying and a MAT bus driver pulled over to make sure I was okay. I was only three houses away from home.
Yargh. Needless to say I’m not very independent… I can’t even get out of my own house and into my own place! But that’s another story for another Blog.
posted by Taryn on 8-27-2008 at 8:05 am
Good post!
Yeah, when I was kid, I only showed up for meals or curfew time. I doubt the world is any more dangerous. There’s just more hype and the rare tragedy is heard around the world.
It was a little tough giving my daughter freedom (the ex was paranoid) but she walked to elementary school, and played on the block.
Frankly, I’d have been more worried about her in a big sidewalk-less, impersonal, McSuburb, where the neighbors don’t know each other.
But we live in an era of consumer/sheep, so the modern child is being prepared for life in the coming animal farm.
The Chinese hybrid of capitalism and social repression is at hand.
posted by BassMan on 8-27-2008 at 8:15 am
As both a teacher and a parent, I see this lack of free thought all around me. Even my own son, whom I adopted after marrying his mother, was initially shaped in this chicken coop like environement of overprotectiveness.
Somewhere, we as a people have determined that the first people to give up their limited liberty for their own safety are our children and this will punish us all.
posted by Mr. C on 8-27-2008 at 8:20 am
me and my brothers would always go to this lake with a little spillway and build damns for hours and build forts and stuff. we only had to home before dark or if we heard our dad calling. but now that i have a three year old, i see all this trouble stuff that happens to children, it makes me think “jesus i am glad that didn’t happen to me or my bros.” then i think about my little girl and i could live with myself if anything happen to her. i think that is why people now a days choose to be overbearing and overprotective. hopefully i will find a balance between watching out and letting her play like i used to do.
posted by meta on 8-27-2008 at 8:29 am
It was the bicycle that gave me my freedom as a 8-9 year old in Sarasota Fl. I left the house in the morning and would visit the firehouse, the park, go to the movies and spend time with friends. Don’t know how far I went each day but it was just doing it without my Mom watching over my shoulder. Then we moved to NY State. At 13 I was traveling out into the ‘wilds’ on my bike. After getting a car I revisited some of the places I ventured to on that 2 wheeler. Was I ever surprised, 20 miles as the crow flies. Loved every minute of it.
reCaptcha….1,602 maidens
posted by Owen on 8-27-2008 at 8:33 am
I don’t think there’s more to worry about, just more coverage of the things people worry about. I’ve read Skenazy’s blog post before, and what I like about it is that it’s an example of a bad thing NOT happening; the media rarely lets those stories slip through.
I think you nailed it by saying kids are now forced to function on an adult-type schedule, even with adult-like tracking (the workplace giving you a cell phone is no different than giving your kid one–they want to be able to find you whenever and wherever).
posted by Jen on 8-27-2008 at 8:42 am
I remember as a “free range” kid going all over the town I was living in. I was 5 and allowed to go just about anywhere on my bike as long as I had a friend with me (granted this was a little logging town that had no traffic light). Now I’m in Korea. Kids here are not “free range” at all but still do ride the subway alone. I’ve seen little ones as young as 7 sans adults.
posted by Joanna on 8-27-2008 at 8:46 am
Rule in my house was be home when the streetlights come on. Used to ride my bike all over the place–even the five miles to my best friend’s house when I got sick of waiting for my mom to drive me over.
I was never allowed to do solo mall trips with my friends when I was a kid, but our parents would drop us off on Main Street in Newark, DE and let us spend the day by ourselves there.
I just can’t imagine what it would be like to grow up without being allowed to go out an explore the world. How do you learn to be independent if your parents are always watching in the background? I won’t argue with the people who claim the world is more dangerous today, but I just wonder how kids are supposed become self-suffient adults if we are constantly protecting them from the world.
posted by Stacey on 8-27-2008 at 8:50 am
I think it’s interesting to also note that with the exception of the 9 year old mentioned in the original posting, many free-range kids, myself included, also had a sort of back up system: younger or older siblings or friends near by to explore with.
Going out as a group rather than as in individual probably seems safer to a parent, even on an unconsious level. And if you weren’t out with a sibling, you were probably out with friends. You were with somebody: not somebody who was “watching over you,” rather someone who was “watching your back” while you watched theirs. (This always makes me think of Meerkats or other pack creatures, but the analogy is not too far off.)
Not knowing neighbors and this culture of paranoia and fear we’ve developed as a society have shaped an odd situation where we, culturally, fear even those little independences and small groups and being outside the home unit for any length of time. It’s not just a post 911 thing, even though we’ve developed a lot of fear since then.
In the 80s, neighborhoods changed. People’s attitudes towards strangers changed. Heck, in the seventies, no one really thought much about hitchhiking (and I’m not advocating that children hitchhike, but this is part of my point) or for that matter train hopping and after some very bad people took advantage of the relative innocence and trusting nature that one needs to have to do it to do some very bad things, people became afraid. Jonestown made my mother nervous about Koolaid. If there was one thing we rarely ever had in the house (and were never to accept from strangers) it was Koolaid. And while she trusted us to make our own decisions, these fears become bigger with each successive generation that learns from them and is reflected in their parenting style, so in the end you find most people would be paranoid about what might happen to their children, even if the real risks are minimal as long as they use some common sense.
Though I suppose it’s a given that common sense is rarely common….
posted by ACute Angle on 8-27-2008 at 8:51 am
I was definitely a free-range child–as long as I was home by suppertime, I could wander off wherever I pleased. I’ve never been a parent, so I wouldn’t want to tell other parents how to raise their kids; still, I’m uncomfortable when my friends talk about “arranging play dates” for their kids–often with other kids on the same block. I would have hated that. It seems unnatural.
I work in a library, and I’ve been cataloging teacher’s editions of school texts, for our teacher education program at the university. I know this has been the norm for awhile, but…social studies, math, science and reading for kindergarteners?? I marvel at the number of college students that I work with regularly who can barely put a sentence together. Combine that with the increasing number of younger adults I see who can’t seem to function without excessive direction, who don’t want to read, and who don’t want to be accountable for their actions–someone should re-think this whole “structure” thing.
posted by Brigid on 8-27-2008 at 8:54 am
Oh this is a really tough one. I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s where we left the house in the morning and did not come home until dinner time. It was great and my siblings and I are all very creative indepent types. When I had children I used to kick them out of the house to play or they would have morphed into little television watching pieces of furniture. They are very creative and independent types. Flash forward to my grand-daughters. My daughter has been so traumatized by the Polly Klaus and Elizabeth Smart horrors she initially would only let them play outside in the back yard alone. Now that her step-daughter is 13 she can ride her bike pretty much anywhere (as long as she gives her destination ahead of time). Her daughter is 9 and has not asked to venture out alone yet. My daughter is forcing herself to get the kids to be more independent but I know it scares her to death. My times truly were innocent, my children’s time were less innocent and my grand children’s times are so wordly that I could cry at their loss of that summer day when all you had was time and your imagination.
posted by JaneM on 8-27-2008 at 9:00 am
Well, I grew up in a pretty rural neighborhood, tumbling through forests and jumping creeks, but we knew our limits: don’t go onto the main road, don’t swim in the beaver pond, bicycle against traffic, don’t ice-skate on the lake till Mr. G says it’s safe, etc. This was in the 1990s.
Just because the cultural mainstream is more aware of certain dangers doesn’t mean it’s more dangerous now.
re: Lenore Skenazy, I’d think that a parent would feel MUCH better knowing that if something horrible did happen–if separated from a child, if crisis occurred–that a kid has the practice and confidence to get safely home.
posted by chris on 8-27-2008 at 9:15 am
What a fascinating post! I was most certainly a free range child in the 80s, although as someone pointed out, I think my mother must have known that my older brother or friends were nearby. I don’t have any kids at this time, but I watch my sister and brother raise theirs and I wonder what I would do to make sure my kids are well rounded, and will will grow up to be better people. I truly admire my sister and the way she raises her kids. She doesn’t cover every piece of furniture in bubble-wrap and when her toddler falls down and bangs his knee on the brick walkway she just shrugs and says, “Well, that’s how we learn, isn’t it?”
posted by mandapanda on 8-27-2008 at 9:44 am
I wholeheartedly agree with most of the comments here. Children must be allowed some independence if they are to become self-reliant adults. I feel so sorry for the kids in my neighbourhood when I see them being escorted to their supervised playdates or their multiple scheduled activities that leave them no time just to be themselves. North America is raising a generation of children without the skills to fend for themselves in the real world and who expect to be the centre of attention 24-7.
As a 4-year old I walked the three blocks to kindergarten by myself (I’m sure my mom followed me the first couple of times). From 5 up my brother and I had free run of our neighbour’s acreage, including the beaver pond. We rode our bikes all over town looking for bottles to cash in for the refund. At 12, I was able to take the Greyhound bus by myself to a nearby big city once a month for orthodontic treatment. I watched plenty of TV and played Atari games too, but my best games were always just made up running around the neighbourhood with my friends.
posted by Blitzen on 8-27-2008 at 9:50 am
Times change. Growing up in a town of 2000+ there were very few places I could go where someone did not know my parents, my older sister or me. I knew that if I had an accident 3 miles from home that someone I knew lived nearby and I could go there. I also knew that if I misbehaved there was a good possibility that someone would notify my parents long before I came home. But I also knew many kids whose parents did not let them out of the yard without supervision.
Thirty years later, I now live in a suburb of 15000 with a metro population of nearly a quarter million. I can go to the mall, the grocery store, the gas station, the movies, in town and not see a single person I know.
Being a relatively introverted person, I am not that socially active in my addition of about 30 families/homes. I know one family by name. My girls are not free-range and rarely leave the house without my wife or myself. They go to a private school, so the kids they do know may live in the city, across town or in another suburb altogether. I want them to have more freedom but there is nowhere for them to go.
I can however compare this to one of my friends. He knows everyone on his street. He knows their names, their occupations, their vehicles. He knows their history and is one of the first to greet any new arrival. His boy is free-range and goes everywhere because everyone knows whose his parents are.
My friend lives in a neighborhood. I own a house in an addition. And our children reflect the difference.
posted by Todd S. on 8-27-2008 at 9:53 am
I grew up in the late ’80s and ’90s in a couple of small towns and didn’t have a totally “free range” experience. I know my parents had a lot more freedom growing up than I did, and they were both raised in a larger town than the ones they raised my brother and I in. We were never given full freedom, but we were allowed to play with the neighbors and go to the park if we went together. It wasn’t until I was 12 or 13 that I was allowed to ride my bike to a friend’s house on the other side of town. (Population: 200 :))
I don’t know what I’ll do as a parent, honestly. I liked my upbringing, but always thought my mom was a little overcautious. Now I know myself a little better, and I know I’m definitely a worrier. I live in a medium-sized town now in a safe, but not particularly friendly neighborhood. I still hope my kids will have more freedom than they might find in Suburbia, but I don’t know if I can curb my worries enough to let them :D
posted by Fruppi on 8-27-2008 at 10:00 am
I was also a free range kid (1980’s)…
I blame this trend solely on the media, bad stuff has been happening to kids for all of the ages, but you never really heard to much about it, but nowadays the media loves to exploit these types of stories to the max, it has created a culture of overprotective fear.
it is a shame…
reCaptcha: lends tracks
posted by RodneyB on 8-27-2008 at 10:32 am
I grew up in the seventies and was a “free range child” and also an only child. I used to ride my bike miles from home through the suburbs and woods. I was taught not to go into a stranger’s car but other than that I pretty much did what I wanted when I wanted during daylight hours. I was alone alot since both my parents worked and I learned how to become self-reliant.
posted by kani on 8-27-2008 at 10:45 am
Another free range kid here. (80s)
I agree with all of the posters. It comes down to the media, more than anything. When there’s more news programs than sitcoms, sensationalism sells.
Look at “To Catch a Predator”. Yeah, there’s sick people out there. There always has been. I remember the Diff’rent Strokes episode with the bicycle store owner.
However, the percentage is quite low, most internet users aren’t predators, and most bike store owners are quite nice, normal people.
If you look at the crime statistics, it’s more safe today than it was when my age group were out running the streets. In fact you have to go back to the 60s to find such a safe time.
But, people drink the kool-aid. They believe the world’s falling a part. It’s unsafe. It has to be, just watch the news!
And to keep it safe, they must control every aspect of their child’s life. And then they’ll wonder why little Johnny is free-basing kitty litter at 15…. And someone will vote to try to ban that, too.
posted by joemoedee on 8-27-2008 at 10:59 am
I’m not sure how “city” kids lived in my fairly small town, but I grew up on a farm (born in ‘83). While my parents didn’t let us make solo mall trips until I was at least 12, they had no problem with us playing on dangerous farm equipment or roaming willy nilly anywhere on the farm. We even road our bikes on a FM road populated with semi-trucks. I wasn’t much for the outdoors, but my brother would be out for hours, especially when he had friends over.
I liked being able to do whatever and make up my own fun. To this day, I’m not a huge TV watcher, preferring to entertain myself. Now it’s crazy. I worked in a daycare last year and my four year olds would complain when I’d make them build things or entertain themselves. They preferred TV watching and coloring. I really hope that when I have kids, I can instill a no-TV/video game way of life (or at least little of the TV/video games).
posted by nutmeag on 8-27-2008 at 10:59 am
Amber, if you’re homeschooling your kids you should know that the word is entice. With an E.
I was ‘free range until dinnertime’ in a rural area in the ’80s. Someone did try to abduct me when I was… I don’t know how old… still had training wheels on my bike. Long story short, I was not abducted and enjoyed more freedom than my child probably will (unfortunately).
posted by Andi on 8-27-2008 at 12:00 pm
I was technically free-range, but my mom wouldn’t let me ride my bike outside our neighborhood (tiny little mobile home park on the out-out-outskirts of town) because the country-ish roads were supposedly too dangerous. We were homeschooled, and I couldn’t walk anywhere, either (everything was too far away), so I stayed inside our tiny, emotionally crushing home and buried myself in books all day. The result? I’m a writer now (or trying to be), but I have to deal with a crippling inability to venture into the unknown. I have to wonder how my life would have been different if I’d been allowed to get hurt and figure things out on my own sooner.
posted by Joanna on 8-27-2008 at 12:11 pm
I grew up in the ghetto. I didn’t WANT to go outside alone as a child. There were too many gunshots at night.
posted by August on 8-27-2008 at 12:30 pm
As a child of the 80’s, my friends and I would wander around the neighborhood all the time by ourselves. There were places we weren’t allowed to go (a certain McD’s in a bad neighborhood but still walking distance) but we knew where they were and that we’d get in massive trouble if we went there. But we always walked home from school by ourselves (in groups of friends but no parents). Parents would call around to see where we stopped for snacks after a long bike ride or whatever.
I’m now finding out my parents didn’t really know we did though, particularly my dad. There was a great ravine near my house and the kids in the neighborhood would all climb down using a rope someone had conveniently tied to a tree at the top and we’d play in the ravine for hours. It was great summer fun! I guess looking back it was kinda dangerous, but we knew not to go alone and help was always at the top of the hill. We survived and are probably better off for it. Plus it makes for great family holidays - trying to figure out what my dad didn’t know!
posted by Gayle on 8-27-2008 at 12:33 pm
I grew up in the 70’s and my mom’s go-to line was “Why don’t you go play outside?”. I don’t think our country is any more dangerous now than it was in the past. I think the only danger that lies in the present is that most people don’t know who their neighbors are and are too afraid to get to know them. I had parents who socialized and I was encouraged to do the same. Going out into the world makes you less afraid of it. It also makes you more interesting. I, for one, would rather hear about that kid’s adventure home from Bloomingdale’s than hear about how many levels he made it through on a video game.
posted by Emily on 8-27-2008 at 12:46 pm
Times have changed. Between media induced paranoia and parents determined to mold the perfect child, the concept of the kid has diappeared.
In grade 2 i would walk a mile through old growth forest in BC to get to school. Maybe with a friend or two. A few years later i would hop the “Greyhound” to the next town to visit friends in New Brunswick. Starting high school, a trip to Toronto to do a theatre festival produced this comment in the centre of the city. “Reheersal starts in 6 hours, be back by then.”
Children today aren’t allowed to explore beyond the bounds of the rec room. They aren’t allowed to play in the dirt let alone get any in them. Parents want a completely safe, sanitized place for their children. As a result children have no social skills other than what they mimic from TV. They also have no immunity from common diseases because they are not allowed to come in contact with ordinary dirt and germs.
To misquote Star Trek: “Damnit Jim, they’re kids, not miniature adults!”
posted by Mike on 8-27-2008 at 12:54 pm
I do agree that it’s a tragedy. My aunt is hyper-possessive about her kids. One is a year old and I don’t think she’s put him down long enough to learn to walk yet! The other isn’t allowed out of her sight and (at 3 years old) has structured Spanish language, math, reading and spelling time, in addition to play dates. We’re so afraid that he’s going to grow up to be the UniBomber (completely, freakishly smart and without social skills or imagination).
And I do think that it is a partially a product of the media and fear-mongering as most people have said. I think another aspect, though, is that the physical landscape is changing and so, too are our perceptions of education. In a society where excellence is perceived as having passed the right standardized tests, people are naturally putting their kids in the position to succeed at filling in the right bubbles. It’s not about being strong, independent and creative anymore–it’s about passing.
Also, with the great sprawling nature of most suburbs, there are fewer places for kids to go. I know that for me, it was a 20-minute drive to our nearest mall and movie theater. Forget riding your bike to hang with your friends there! It’s becoming almost impossible to send your kids out to play when everybody drives to get everywhere. Where I live doesn’t really believe in public transport, either, so my parents couldn’t just tell me to figure out how to get home that way. I think that the chicken-coop method of raising kids is not just a product of the media, but of the world we have built for ourselves in the name of “convenience”.
posted by JenPo on 8-27-2008 at 1:46 pm
I saw Lenore Skenazy and her son on the subway on an episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit!
They basically said that our over protectiveness of children was doing more harm than good, and I agree with them.
posted by David on 8-27-2008 at 1:57 pm
Ok…I also grew up in the 70’s and all this is true but, don’t you think your grandparents were saying the same thing about our generation? Don’t you think the same thing has probably been said for hundreds of years?
In my day it was “kids watch too much TV” (all 13 channels worth) or “kids read comic books to much”. I know personally that my grandfather was not too impressed that I used to play with toys instead of build them. Boys should play with things like a model airplane kit you had to build and girls should learn to sew clothes for there dolls rather than buy a Barbie with everything included.
Ask your grandparents (if they are still alive) , they’ll probably have a few stories to tell you about their own childhood.
posted by Wayne on 8-27-2008 at 2:43 pm
@ WAYNE: so true! I think every generation is ¨burdened¨ by a little more structure…
I dont know if the world is more dangerous today or not (or if it is just media induced paranoia) but the truth of the matter is this: all of us would DIE is something were to happen to our kids. Kids can play and create in the backyard (or even in their own rooms). I lived in Venezuela as a child where it was impossible for me to roam the city. I was however, restricted to one hour of TV a day and had to find ways to entertain myself in the off-hours. I had some structure (one class of something a day: a sport, an instrument) but the rest of the time was mine. I learned a bit of everything, aced all my tests, and grew up to be a well-balanced, confident and social individual.
It´s all about balance.
posted by GTT on 8-27-2008 at 4:40 pm
Letting a nine year old kid ride the subway on his own may seem scary to someone who grew up in the burbs or the sticks but it’s all relative. I could easily find my way around my town when I was nine but when I went to New York for the first time in my mid 30’s I didn’t have a clue how to use the subway.
posted by EPK on 8-27-2008 at 5:24 pm
I was also a free range child–a term that I love, btw. I grew up on military bases for the most part, so it wasn’t nearly as terrifying for my parents. I was also a latchkey kid because my parents worked. I am fiercely independent and am always prepared for new, different situations as a result. When I was injured on the playground and needed stitches at six, my brother knew to go get an adult who called my mother at work. I was fine.
I am now a parent and my boy is almost one and I am fiercely protective of him. This post really made me think. I am going to strive to make sure he spends his youth in an area where I am okay with him gallavanting outside until dusk, and to get to know my neighbors. Great post, great comments.
posted by Orange on 8-27-2008 at 5:54 pm
I was a free range child as well, despite growing up in the late 90s. We didn’t have cable, and since there was nothing good on the local channels, I remember running through the woods behind my house for hours and hours on end. My mother warned me about snakes, but the danger just added to the fun. My fun was cut short, however, when I entered middle school, and my homework load multiplied tenfold. I soon became aware of the horrors of spending more time in a textbook rather than creating my own worlds based off of what I had read from Tolkien or L’Engle. Now I’m in college at a very large university, off-campus and without a car. After being tethered to my desk by endless hours of homework, I’ve suddenly found myself back out in the sunlight, and my fair complexion isn’t quite sure what to do with this new environment.
posted by Alex on 8-27-2008 at 7:14 pm
I live in a neighbourhood in a Western Canadian city that is in transition from middle class mostly white suburban community to a mixed class predominantly immigrant community.
There are a lot of free range kids in this and other neighbourhoods where almost everybody is more or less blue collar, working class (immigrants and non-alike). Only now, they’re the “damn kids hanging out at the store” or the park or wherever.
My brother and I were free range kids. We didn’t have a choice. Both our parents worked and would have laughed if told that they ’should’ be spending all their time entertaining and engaging their children with activities. Hell, at 6 I used to walk or ride my bike the four blocks in Toronto with a note in my hand to buy my dad smokes.
Now that’s parenting!
posted by Tiddo on 8-27-2008 at 8:25 pm
I was definitely a free-ranger raised in a beautiful city (Quito)where we walked every where and did not have to worry about strange stuff… Playing Football(soccer) in the park, visiting the buddies down the block, no Playstation for sure or texting- we talked…
Parents today seem to fill their kids agendas only to seek their own. Why have kids if you are going to raise them? Some do it out of necessity but many just to live a lifestyle.
posted by Beto on 8-27-2008 at 9:32 pm
If I had kids, I would definitely want them to experience the outdoors. When I was growing up, we used to ride our bicycles to other towns, play outside until it was dark and bathe in a nearby creek. In this age of Playstations and Youtube, kids seldom see the sun outside. I pity the children who have never experienced what I had experienced and scold the parents who over-pamper their kids.
posted by Leizl on 8-27-2008 at 10:34 pm
I was a 70’s kid who rode her bike all over the neighborhood after school, downtown and beyond…I don’t have kids myself, but I live in a small town in Texas and am pleased to see kids riding their bikes (in groups of 3-5) around town, down our street, to friend’s house..people walk from place to place…its not a Utopia here, but the small town atmosphere lends itself to a great place to grow up…I am glad to see the kids out and about…
posted by donner on 8-27-2008 at 11:12 pm
I was born in 1984. I grew up in what seemed like a small town, but I could hardly call it that now. My experiences growing up in that town in central PA were largely shaped by my parents’ growing up in neighboring towns. They were both only children, so they had no choice but to go out and interact with other kids, whether it was as friends or enemies. Whenever we would visit the places they grew up, my siblings and I would be bombarded with stories of the time “I broke my arm falling out of that tree” or “this is where we set up our lemonade stand.” I don’t think it’s a shift in society to blame for what is perceived as different era of childhood; I think it’s simply an issue of parenting and locale. I was never afraid to knock on someone’s door in my neighborhood after I wrecked my bike. My friends and I didn’t think twice about playing with the mentally hanicapped man that rode around on his large tricycle with a basket of toy guns and no ulterior motives. Danger is everywhere. It always has been and it always will be. The trick to having active and independent kids is to teach them to make responsible choices and to not live in fear of what could happen.
posted by kbar on 8-28-2008 at 3:34 am
I would definitely want Kids to experience the outdoors. When I was growing up, we used to ride our bicycles to other towns, play outside until it was dark and bathe in a nearby creek. In this age of Playstations and Youtube, kids seldom see the sun outside. I pity the children who have never experienced what I had experienced and scold the parents who over-pamper their kids.
posted by free cell phones on 8-28-2008 at 3:29 pm
You know, I’m commenting to say this: not all hope is lost. I’m only entering high school, in maybe the next week. I grew up in this decade, and I was as free range as everybody else who commented here. So were my neighbors, who would frequently assist me in catching grasshoppers. Don’t mourn too much, there are still quite a few of us left.
posted by The Spotted Hare on 8-28-2008 at 6:38 pm
Just a note to add:
Tonight I saw a report on my local news (CBC Toronto) regarding back-to-school safety. The answer to the question “How old should children be before you allow them to walk to school by themselves?”, was “Children younger than 9 lack the cognitive skills to deal with certain situations.”
9 years old! A 9-year-old can’t be trusted to get to school by themselves! I agree that in a big city it would be prudent for children to walk to school in pairs or groups, but if a 9-year-old can’t manage to cross the street and find their school by themselves, then something is seriously wrong with them.
posted by Blitzen on 8-28-2008 at 9:12 pm
Actually, not-too-free-range child of the 70s-80s in a large-ish Midwestern city. I was a girl who was small for her age, and when I was 5 some geezer *had* tried to snatch me on the way to school - this while walking with older children. My guardian was rather protective of me after that. I could go about without supervision or chaperoning once I was 11, but if where I went involved public transportation, I had to call home once I’d arrived and before I left for home again. That was the status quo through the end of high school.
I remember when the NBC affiliate in my town started putting on CNN Headline News in the early morning hours between sign-on and the Today show. 1981, maybe? And a year or so later, CNN was on all night long. No more sign-offs. Those hours had to be filled, so bleeder leaders of every local station that CNN could dig up got on the air. And was repeated. And repeated. Cable came to my city in 1984 and soon there was scary news 24/7. I think the rise of the 24-hour news cycle has affected our perceptions of safety. If the actual US crime rate is at its lowest point since years before I was even born, then what does that say about where our fears are coming from? The effect of these parental fears on this generation of children must be astounding in ways we have yet to quantify.
BTW, I have no children.
posted by Brooklynperson on 8-28-2008 at 11:08 pm
Great post! I just wrote about this today over on wildparenting.com.
Long live childhood!
posted by Laura at Wild Parenting on 8-29-2008 at 8:48 am