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David K. Israel
Caption Contest No. 11
by David K. Israel - September 6, 2008 - 10:00 AM

[there's still time to get that caption in!]

If you missed our interview with Marc Tyler Nobelman, author of Boys of Steel – The Creators of Superman, you might want to check that out before submitting your caption to our latest caption contest. Why? Because it’s Marc’s cartoon and he’ll be the one judging your captions and selecting the 10 finalists for this month’s contest. From those 10, the three who receive the most votes will receive copies of Marc’s Superman book… so you stand a better chance if you know where he’s coming from.
To repeat the rules, the idea here is quite simple: Your job is to come up with a gag. Make us smile, make us laugh, extra-points for those who are able to drop some interesting fact or trivia along the way. Have at it! The contest will run through the end of the weekend.

captioncontests_11.jpg

click cartoon to enlarge

Comments (132)
  1. While attending Comic-Con, Sam’s luggage was stolen.

  2. “Yes, it’s very recognizable, but I’m afraid I still need to see some identification.”

  3. “…and by sitting in the exit row, you indicate that you feel comfortable assisting others in the case of an emergency, correct?”

  4. “I’m sorry sir, but you will have to check your cape. After your 18 hour cavity search, you will be x-rayed, detained for further questioning without being lawfully able to know why and possibly taken to a remote Caribbean Island where you will live out the rest of your days in dank circumstances without ever seeing your family again. Oh, you have no family? Died in a cataclysmic planetary explosion? I’m so sorry. Step this way please.”

    The attendant snaps on a rubber glove.

  5. Superman finally ran out of gas… I hope that the sensors don’t go off for the “Man of Steel!”

  6. “No, I don’t need a ticket- I just want to check my luggage. Do you have any idea how much air drag they create trying to carry them at 12,000 feet?”

  7. Where to I apply for the x-ray inspection job?

  8. Needless to say Bill’s career as a U.S. Marshall did not last long.

  9. Fighting depression from seeing crime day in and day out, Superman just wanted to see the friendly skies.

  10. I’m meeting the President this afternoon and I just got the cape dry-cleaned.

  11. “Welcome to Kryptonite Airlines, sir. How may we help you?”

  12. “$50 to check extra luggage? Does it look like I carry a wallet? Nevermind… I’ll just fly on my own”

  13. “Well Mr. Kent/Man of Steel, I’m afraid your apparent identity crisis will carry a charge beyond the normal emotional baggage allowance…”

  14. “Your name is Kal-el? Is that middle-eastern? Please wait here for security.”

  15. “Errr, Joe, better call security. Here comes another one of those illegal aliens”.

  16. “Fly? No. But I can leap over tall buildings.”

  17. The FAA has become so strict that even Superman has bent to their will to set an example for others.

  18. I’m sorry Mr El but the rules are quite clear Mr Kent has to claim his own bags. As for a phone booth, two words, cell phone

  19. We return to our hero…
    After a long night of drinking, The Caped Crusader finds himself in Idaho and too hung over to fly home.
    On the plus side, no luggage to check.

  20. “We are all booked, but you can try Conehead Airlines over there to your right.”

  21. What? I’m tired!

  22. Per Section 3.459: A member of the Air Marshall program should be dressed as to not attract undue attention. Please return to the phone booth and change your tights.

    OR

    Sorry sir, you’re an Air Marshall not Superman.

    OR

    No we do NOT allow skydiving in just tights and cape.

  23. OK, I get the fuel surcharge fee, the baggage handling fee, even the extra bag of nuts fee. But I absolutely draw the line at the cape and boots fee.

  24. “Let’s see: young, single, white male, traveling alone, no luggage. Sir, you’re going to have to wait for security. You might pose a terror threat.”

  25. One of your planes was tailgating me and I would like to file a complaint.

  26. I’m not sure you understand, sir. Frequent flier miles are only accumulated on *aircraft* assisted flights.

  27. For the last time, sir, your frequent flier miles are no good here!

  28. My eyes?!?! I can’t take my eyes on the plane?!?! They are NOT concealed weapons!!

  29. “Look, I came to Alaska to get away from it all. No one told me about the thirty days of night and now I just want to go home.”

  30. Kyla, you beat me to it. Damn that Recatcha.

  31. The FAA said that I have to file flight plan…where do I do that?

  32. Superman’s reputation as a green crusader came to an abrupt halt.

  33. “Why yes, I am a frequent flyer”.

  34. Super man costume -$75
    Airline ticket -$150
    1,000 Gummi Worms -$200
    Best practical joke ever – Priceless

  35. “No, I don’t have any baggage. You’re thinking of Batman.”

  36. Sorry, citizen, i have to say it. You’re doing it wrong.

  37. You’re doing it wrong.

  38. Just one way please. I flew here with Wonder Woman but she can’t remember where she parked her invisible jet.

  39. “I’m sorry , sir. We have nothing available over the wings. Er..you did want that inside the plane, right?”

  40. Can you help me get my shoes back? They took them when I went through security.

  41. “Is it possible to get a Kosher meal on this flight?”

  42. “So I’m here for the opening you guys placed in the classifides…they said gas prices were skyrocketing”

  43. I am looking into a career change. Is your airline interested in reaching 100% on-time arrival for all your planes? I could throw in some early arrivals as a perk. Let me work up a proposal and powerpoint.

  44. Yep. My personal insurance policy requires that I travel first-class on all non-emergency travel or it becomes void.

  45. You will not believe the day I’ve had.

  46. “I’m sorry Sir, but you’re on the No-Fly List!”

  47. I missed the plane? Can I just catch up to it en route?

  48. Yes. Metropolis, Illinois. I know, I can’t find it on my map either.

  49. I’m sorry sir, an emblem is not a valid form of identification.

  50. “Yes, Senator McCain, I still recognize you; and yes, you still have to buy a ticket.”

  51. 1. Superman Returns II

    “I need to book a red eye to Metropolis.”

    2. Superphobias.

    “I assure you sir, Snakes On A Plane was just a movie.”

    3. “Okay, I am the first to admit that DOOMSDAY may not be the best name for an airline…”

  52. Sure, I can fly, but your business class is so comfortable…

  53. “Yo, Frankie, the new x-ray guy is here.”

  54. I’m sorry, sir, but according to FAA policy I can not divulge Mr. Luthor’s flight information. No exceptions.

  55. Real quick question, If I am flying by one of your jets and I have to go realllllly bad can I just hop on and use the bathroom?? Its a pain to land and find a nice private spot….you know what I mean.

  56. “I’m sorry sir, but frequent flier miles are non-transferable.”

  57. “This is the last time I am going to tell you. Those planes are taking off.
    They are not distressed. Stop returning them!”

  58. “Sorry Mr. Kal-El, but you appear to be on our No-Fly List, and I hope for your sake “Man of Steel” is just a nickname…”

  59. “Paging Ms. Lois Lane. Please pick up your Super-Hero at the information desk.”

  60. “Joe, I’m just not so sure the Pilots Union is going to back you on the new uniform idea.”

  61. “With your frequent flier miles, you can travel to the sun and back for free.”

    Or

  62. “What about dental?”

  63. “Very impressive Mr. Siegal, now zip it up and have a seat.”

  64. 1. Paging Ms. Lois Lane. Please pick up your Super-Hero at the baggage claim.”

    2. Very nice Joe, but I don’t think the Pilots Union is going to approve your new uniform idea.”

  65. “This is the last time I am going to tell you. Those planes are not distressed. Stop returning them!”

  66. After beind grounded by the Feds for a failed cape inspection, Superman realizes that he’s going to be late for his next attmept at saving the world.

  67. Sir, when I asked you to catch the earlier flight, I wasn’t being literal. I’m afraid we don’t offer miles for that.

  68. What happens in Metropolis, stays in Metropolis.

  69. “What do you mean the flight is delayed?”

  70. “I don’t care how expensive fuel is, I refuse to get out and push!”

  71. I just wanted you to know that I’m so above this.

  72. The 4th step in Obama’s 3 step Energy Plan.

  73. Even Superman tries to support the lagging airline industry by paying full price for a seat and traveling with no luggage.

  74. 1. “Any flights to the Antarctic? I need to get back to my Fortress of Solitude to feed Krypto.”

    2. “Listen buddy, I don’t care who you are, but you can’t pay with a Kryptonian Express card. Frankly, it sounds made up.”

    3. “Sir, I know you’re in a hurry, but there were people in front of you. I stress the word ‘were.’”

  75. “Does Mr. Sienfeld know you are using his American Express?”

  76. Superman had a long talk with the airliners over their new shuttle-launch plane that he had to save in his last movie.

  77. “Yeah, yeah, Truth, Justice, and the American way. It’s still $15.00 to check a bag.”

  78. “Oh yeah, I can fly. It’s that damn Aquaman that can’t fly. Stupid Super Friends reunion.”

  79. “yeah, yeah, I get it. Truth, Justice, and the American way. But you’re still going to have to pay $15.00 for the extra luggage.”

  80. “I can assure you Superman that it is not a bird. It is a plane.”

  81. What do you mean my frequent flier miles have expired… Do you know who I am!?

  82. I’m sorry Kal-El. Your name has been registered on the Federal No-Fly List.

  83. - well the last place I saw Flight 19 was just north of Bermuda…

    - true north or magnetic north?

    - they’re the same in that area!

  84. Herbert couldn’t wait to try out his brilliant scheme to avoid the extra charge for a blanket.

  85. “I am sorry, Mr. Man, but if you want to put your big “S” on the plane then you will have to buy another ticket.”

  86. Ohhhhhhh. I thought the TSA said there was “no ’s’ cape in here.” Nevermind.

  87. “Look! I’ve been waiting in this big “s” line all day for you to get off yours and give me some service!”

  88. Well, no, lady. It isn’t “pocket change” if you don’t have any flippin’ pockets!

  89. For the last time, sir, the airline policy states that if you want your “S” on the next flight then your dumb “S” will have to buy a ticket first.

  90. “Hmmph,..I invented the Mile High Club sweetheart.”

  91. “7 bucks for a pillow? You think I’m made of money? Sorry, Jet Blue, I’ll just use my cape!”

  92. Oops! That should be BLANKET in the above entry, as in:

    “7 bucks for a blanket? You think I’m made of money? Sorry, Jet Blue, I’ll just use my cape!”

  93. “Have you any positions open for an airmail clerk?”

  94. Yeah, yeah… I know everyone has problems, but does YOUR brother have to support you?

  95. Sorry sir, but all illegal aliens must be deported

  96. Jimmy Olsen hopes that his ruse is not discovered by the fact that he may be a bit late in saving the day.

  97. Once Lex Luthor got a strangle hold on the airline companies, not even the Man of Steel could withstand the horror of having to pay 5 @#$%#$ dollars for heaphones.

  98. *headphones

    bah, I need to sleep…

    Joe thought his day started out odd, but he had no idea how weird things would get once the rest of the Justice League started arguing over who had to sit next to Aquaman.

  99. I’m going to see the president and I just had the cape dry-cleaned,

  100. excuse me… mam… is this where I need to get my passport stamped?

  101. What do you mean…$25 fee for carrying my “package” on the plane?

  102. Yes, my legal name is Man O. Steel. Stop giving me that look. Bad kitty! Sorry, my cat gives me that look and, yes, his name is Kal-El.

    Why was my flight canceled? Lex Luther was causing a disturbance on the flight? He has a private jet! Yes I understand that he has unlimited wealth, hates me, and would do anything to – Oh.

    Mothertruckineverlovindogpunch! I don’t curse.

  103. I don’t know why…my therapist said give it a try after our last session. Something about a dose of reality.

  104. “Actually, that’s a common misconception. ‘Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.’ Nothing in there about flying.”

  105. woman: ” Dont you Fly?”
    superman: “No, I am Bazarro Suoerman!”

  106. Pardon me, ma’am, but where is the Super man’s Room?

  107. “I’d appreciate if we kept this little problem of getting it up between you and me.”

  108. “I must have got a bad cape. It always worked fine in the movie.”

  109. Honestly! I AM the pilot!

  110. yes, ma’am, I am faster than a speeding bullet and you’re usually not on time but I want to sit for a change while I travel………..

  111. what do you mean you’re not comfortable with the responsibilties of sitting in the emergency row?

  112. I need a to rent a plane for a few hours. Why? Because I need some rest and no one will ever expect to find me on a plane.

  113. I am sorry miss. You are only suppose to call me if there is an emergency. And that guy next to you who won’t stop staring is not an emergency.

  114. “let me see, regular lane, express lane,Lois Lane…”

  115. “I was wondering if i could cash in my frequent flier miles here?”

  116. “I knew I should have traveled as Clark Kent while my flying cape is at the cleaners.”

  117. “I’m sorry SuperMan, but this passport belongs to a Clark Kent, and he wears glasses.”

  118. Seriously, ma’am- does this cape make my “S” look big?

  119. Ma’am, you do realize the potential pop culture repercusions of keeping me grounded? Who’ll be able to say “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s SUPERMAN!”?

  120. As part of my community service for…..umm…I’ll just say inappropriate use of my xray vision, I have to fly as the outboard engine on a 747 3 times a week to help break America’s dependence on foreign oil.

  121. “Yeah I can fly… and leap tall buildings. Which is a lot like flying but different when the story calls for it……….Yes I’ll be flying alone”

  122. “No, really sir, what are you doing here?”

  123. “High fuel costs got ya down?”

  124. I don’t care if you did catch Stalin and Hitler. Without ID you are not getting on this plane.

  125. is there anyone here i can talk to about the fact that your flight patterns are a little too close for comfort to mine?

    if one of your planes collides with me…well, let’s just say you’d be lucky i am who i am, at least i could carry the plane in for an easier emergency landing…

  126. I guess Muhammad Ali was wrong…

  127. I’ve fought Lex Luthor, Brainiac,and the Legion of Doom, and none of them were evil enough to charge for checked bags.

  128. I’ll pay for the upgrade to First Class, but if I have to get out to push, it’s free.

  129. “My flying license is still pending the FBI clearance.”

  130. I got this cape from my niece’s bed and it does work..

  131. “See, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation… and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.”

  132. “See, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.”

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