Comments (138)

1. My dog growing up was a border collie with a screw loose. We left one day for most of the day and he got bored I guess. He proceeded to tear apart the kitchen, and I don’t mean just going into the garbage and stealing food off the counters, I am talking about a rampage here. He ripped a mini chalkboard off the fridge (the kind you use to make grocery lists) and ate it, yes, ate it, chalk and all. Then he managed to knock a wine glass off the counter, it shattered on the floor and apparently that looked tasty too, so he ate pieces of that as well. All in all, the dog never got sick, or had a single medical problem after all this, he also continues to eat rocks outside, which at this point has made so that he has broken every one of his teeth. Like I said, he has a screw loose.

   posted by Gussie on 10-24-2008 at 7:40 am

2. My cat chewed through the cord to my iBook power adapter. Three times.

   Those things are expensive.

   posted by Emily on 10-24-2008 at 7:41 am

3. Before leaving for school in the morning, I would always have to crate my dog so he wouldn’t destroy the house while I was away. One day I apparently forgot to close the latch all the way because when I got home several hours later, my terrier mix was INSIDE the couch and the stuffing was all over the living room, kitchen and strewn down the hall.

   He had also found a way into the pantry and enjoyed the contents of the garbage can and felt that the trash would be a nice addition to couch-stuffing in the new decor of my house.

   As I stood in the doorway, frozen in horror, he calmly climbed out of the couch and sat in the middle of the mess, looking extraordinarily pleased with himself. Needless to say, I was not in the same mind. But it was hard to get mad at him, covered with couch fluff as he was. :P

   posted by bryn on 10-24-2008 at 7:42 am

4. First of all, Ransom, looks like your cat is either a Burmese or a Siamese….lock up anything wool. Trust me.
   I have had two destructive pets. My golden retriever proceeded to eat all the wallpaper off the living rooms walls, and apparently that was just a snack, because then she ate EVERY pair of shoes I owned, except the one I was wearing. (All in one day)
   But the bad one was when I brought my rabbit into work to visit….and she ate all the computer wires…..

   posted by Judi on 10-24-2008 at 7:46 am

5. I have a 3 year old chow mix and when he was a puppy he ate everything. His favorites were anything foot flavored (socks, shoes, rugs, feet). He would even steal the socks right off your feet! I tried using bitter lime gel. I had always used it before on destructive puppies and it always worked. Except this time. I put it on a slipper and left it out as bait. He proceeded to lick the gel off the slipper. Puzzled by this I put some on my finger and he licked it off my finger too. He liked the way it tasted! It took a while but he was finally broke of his destructive ways and is now a sweet and enjoyable dog to have around. :)

   posted by Dani on 10-24-2008 at 7:50 am

6. My dog Peanut Butter once destroyed my relationship. However, he did save the next (and current) one, so I guess he’s even.

   posted by Brian on 10-24-2008 at 7:52 am

7. Another crazy pet that I had was a rabbit that would steal candy. She’d snatch it out of your hands and take off. Then she’d come back for more and nibble and scratch your legs if she didn’t get it.

   posted by Dani on 10-24-2008 at 7:55 am

8. My golden retriever chewed the protective cone off my jack russel’s neck after he came back from surgery. Then my jack russel chewed the retrievers collar off. Then they both ate the carpet together.

   posted by Bandi on 10-24-2008 at 7:56 am

9. I had a cocker spaniel and a husky. I got rid of the cocker because he was the main problem.

   We had a brand new sectional set in our living room a year ago. It was a nice set, one of the couches had two recliners in it. My mother-in-law went into the icu and we had to leave for a weekend. Figure no big deal, I’ll clean the poop off the laundry room floor when I get back. When I got back only the corner of the sectional was not destroyed and I had to rip out my living room carpet. JB weld, flour, mustard and shit ground in — I wasn’t even going to try to clean it up!

   Same dogs, 6 months later. My husband had a heart attack. I learned my lesson from the first time and locked them in the laundry room. Those bastards chewed a hole in the side of my house! Ripped out the dryer vent and just kept chewing on the wall! I have never seen anything like it in my life!

   posted by Lorelei on 10-24-2008 at 8:03 am

10. My sister has a Belgian Tervuren (like a German Shepherd) that’s scared to death of thunder storms. He usually sleeps in their bedroom with them, but one night while they were away he was locked out and it started storming. Bound & determined to get into that bedroom, he chewed through about 4 square feet of drywall separating the hall closet and the master bath, then squeezed through the hole to get into the bedroom. Needless to say, they were none too pleased when they got home.

    posted by Tom on 10-24-2008 at 8:08 am

11. I am currently refinishing the hard wood in my kitchen because my dogs decided to forego their 300 chew toys to chew a basketball sized hole in my linoleum. I have no idea how they got it started because I have not found it easy to remove from the floor with putty knives and adhesive remover.

    I found a website called thingsmydogate. Many stories of destructive pets.

    posted by bzzyb on 10-24-2008 at 8:09 am

12. My cat used to sleep with me but I had to start lockin g her out because she would gouge out my skin.

    posted by Makenzie on 10-24-2008 at 8:10 am

13. Lorelei – sounds like you could have benefited from a pet sitter.

    I have a free-range house rabbit who doesn’t wreak TOO much havoc – he’s neutered and litter-trained. However, to date he has bitten through the zipper of a designer purse, eaten the complete stories of Flannery O’Connor, and pulled all of the dried flowers out of a decorative urn in the living room and dragged them around the whole lower level of the house.

    Also had a cat who ate the fringe off a rug and shed so much that we had to buy a couch to match him…and he was orange.

    posted by Gypsy on 10-24-2008 at 8:15 am

14. My family had a dog once that cut our phone lines from outside the house…twice. He also scratched halfway through the front door.

    posted by David on 10-24-2008 at 8:16 am

15. I’ve been lucky enough to not have a overly destructive pet, but my mom didn’t fare so well.

    1) She had a cat which refused to use the litter box. Rather it would “hold it” until my mom got home, then shit in her purse. It would find the purse wherever my mom tried to hide it. No lie! Daily!

    2) As an animal lover she took in a orphaned squirrel once. As it grew, so did its climbing abilities and needs. By the time she let it go, every curtain, screen, and any other upholstered vertical surface needed to be replaced.

    posted by Joe on 10-24-2008 at 8:18 am

16. My parents had a rescue greyhound (talk about neurotic dog) that used to eat wood. Seriously. Several of my mom’s Longaberger baskets fell victim as well as other random wooden things, mostly decorative. There were also several remote controls, and various plastic items.

    posted by nihil on 10-24-2008 at 8:18 am

17. My Siamese cat, Zach, is notorious for, well, a few things, but mostly for chewing on anything plastic. He loves ziploc bags especially. We have to hide /everything/ from him. Bag of bread sticking slightly out of the breadbox? Yep, it’s shredded. He’s even been known to go digging in my purse if there is something in there he wants. Not the most destructive habit, but still pretty annoying.

    posted by scoobnut on 10-24-2008 at 8:23 am

18. I once rescued a palm plant. It was about 6″ tall and half dead. It flourished till it was about 4′ high. Until a month old kitten got ahold of it and chopped down all three stalks. I was amazed.
    Pets are destrcutive when they are unhappy. As soon as I got a freind for my kitten there were no more issues.
    If you’re looking for a pet, please make your local shelter your first stop. There are already more animals in the world than anyone wants. Get your pets spayed and neutered, too. Breeding is irresponsible under the circumstances.
    BTW, border collies should not be kept as pets. They are very unhappy without herding work to do. It really is torture for them to have nothing to do.

    posted by BassMan on 10-24-2008 at 8:35 am

19. My dog loved chocolate, which, as we’ve all heard, can be fatal in large doses.

    The funny thing was that she was as close to OCD as a dog can be about the way that she ate her chocolate. The only way that we know how things went was because we came home on several occasions in different stages of her chocolate “routine.”

    First (obviously) she would locate the chocolate (it didn’t matter what you did to hide it, she’d find it). Then she would proceed to take all of the chocolate out of the purse, bag, unsecure container, etc., that it was in, and pile it all in one place. Then, rather than just gobbling it, wrapper and all, like most dogs. She would carefully (I have no idea how) unwrap each and every piece, leaving the wrappers flattened neatly on the floor. Only AFTER she had unwrappd each piece would she start chowing down. It was the CRAZIEST thing. When she got into peanut butter cups and Hershey’s kisses, she could somehow manage to unwrap it without tearing the wrapper. We would just find dozens of little foil squares flattened out in the living room.

    It was such a problem that we had to keep peroxide on hand to “rid her” of the poisonous snack. We ended up covering the bottom of our steam room in newspaper and calling it “the vomitorium,” because that’s where we’d take her for the “removal process.”

    posted by Heather Dawn on 10-24-2008 at 8:36 am

20. My son had a cat with UT issues. He used to go into my daughter’s closet and user her shoes as a litter box. Imagine putting your foot in that first thing in the am.

    My pitt/rottie mix likes to chew on cotton fabric when she is anxious. When she was a pup I used to put knotted up cotton dish towels in her crate to simulate pack-mates. Well she found it comforting to chew on 600 threadcount sheets to comfort herself. Oddly enough, she never chews the cheap sheets! I guess sheets that are in good taste taste good.

    posted by JaneM on 10-24-2008 at 8:36 am

21. A lot of these stories are hilarious now, but probably involved a lot of tears at the time :) My dog once watched while I made a three layer chocolate cake and decorated it (for several hours), then, as soon as it was finished and I went to get my camera, calmly and quietly ate a third of it. Luckily, I was able to cut off the chewed part and stick on some of my original cuttings with frosting. Sweetest, most lopsided cake ever!
    Now, I’m sorry to vent, but, Lorelei, you can’t seriously blame your dogs for what happened can you? I mean, you abandoned them for a weekend and then, since that worked out so well the first time, you abandoned them in a confined space the next time. Dogs don’t like to poop where they sleep. They also don’t understand portion control, so they probably ate all of their food in one go instead of spacing it out over the weekend (which I’m sure you thought their very obviously logical dog minds could handle). Dogs are social creatures that need routine, discipline, exercise and affection. A locked pantry door for three days is not a substitute. Next time, find a sitter!

    posted by Jessie's Girl on 10-24-2008 at 8:43 am

22. My little buddy was not fond of my newborn son. When he was newborn and stayed in one place, it was not a big deal, he just sat across the room and looked at him jealously when we interacted with the baby. When the baby started to roll around and wanted to play with the dog he became hostile, at first we thought it would pass, but then one day the baby touched the dog, and the dog went wild, scratching and barking at the baby.

    We put the dog outside immediately, and let a co-worker with 10 year old grandchildren adopt him. I told my wife, “The dog is house trained, the baby is not. Are we adopting out the wrong creature?” She did not find the statement as funny as I did.

    I still feel bad about getting rid of the dog, but I didn’t know what else to do. Hearing from my co-worker, he is happier with them anyway.

    posted by Witty Nickname on 10-24-2008 at 8:46 am

23. Not destruction so much as eating issues
    Our doxie will root through your purse to get to the gum. He loves to chew gum! He will even retrieve a used piece from the trash can (with a lid).

    Our Viszla has pika, and eats everything. You haven’t lived until you have tugged a nylon stocking from your dogs rectum. She eats them and then cannot pass them completely, and is running around with a pantyhose foot dangling from her butt. But also, hair elastics, socks, paper, wrappers, dog toys, anything she will eat. Crazy a$$ dog.

    posted by qt314159265 on 10-24-2008 at 8:46 am

24. My beagle mix has destroyed and/or damaged the following items: a loveseat, an (expensive) pair of eyeglasses, one cordless phone, two cellular phones, a car stereo which was still in the box – wrapped and sitting under the Christmas tree, the basement door of my former home (he subsequently spent two hours roaming the neighborhood until I got home from work and found him), several plastic DVD cases, a dining room chair, a wireless mouse, and a toilet plunger. And that’s just off the top of my head. I would come home and find him acting guilty and my other dog with a “don’t look at me” expression on her face, and my stomach would drop because I knew I was about to find carnage. Most dogs will just chew up a pair of your shoes, but he seemed to prefer big ticket items. I made one effort at crate training him, only to come home to find out that he had completely destroyed the front of the crate in order to escape. I was worried that he’d hurt himself, so I didn’t try it again.

    Fortunately he’s outgrown his chewing habit, as I was quickly running out of money to replace the stuff he ruined. I’m pretty sure beagles are known to be chewers anyway, but I chalk it up to him having been a shelter dog and having gotten no training at all in his previous home. It took a lot of patience, but he’s such a good boy now. Definitely worth putting up with some (ok, lots of) aggravation.

    posted by dying alive on 10-24-2008 at 8:48 am

25. Not really that bad but, pretty darn funny in my opinion. I had a pet mouse that actually ate my homework. I left an essay on the dresser when I went to bed so I wouldn’t forget it in the morning and somehow she managed to snag a corner and start munching. There was hardly anything left.

    posted by Lisa H on 10-24-2008 at 8:54 am

26. Our dog has an uncanny ability to seek out legal papers or legal tender and consume it. After my son was born, he ate his social security card!! He must have been jealous of the attention. He has also eaten $20 bills and a paycheck.

    posted by Maureen on 10-24-2008 at 9:16 am

27. After reading all the comments thus far, I have to say that my dog can’t compete on shear quantity of items consumed/destroyed. Nor can he compete on dollar value for fixing/replacing items.
    However, Angus has an affinity for paper. He started out small time: tissues, stray dollar bills, receipts. And then he ate the bottom half of our WEDDING GUEST BOOK.

    posted by Corrine on 10-24-2008 at 9:16 am

28. Okay, now I’m not quite so mad for my dog peeing on the couch yesterday. She’s still banned from the couch, but I’m not as mad.

    posted by Deb on 10-24-2008 at 9:16 am

29. Forgot about this – we cannot have refrigerator magnets. Our lab will jump up and knock them off the fridge and our lhasa-poo chews them.

    Another weird thing is that they generally don’t do anything destructive on their own. For some reason, they prefer to work as a team.

    posted by bzzyb on 10-24-2008 at 9:18 am

30. My Great Pyrenees ate a brown paper bag full of fireworks—Roman candles, cones, sparklers, etc. He climbed to reach them since they were stored on a shelf six feet off the floor. There were about $150.00 worth of fireworks in the bag.

    posted by Eliz Livermore on 10-24-2008 at 9:22 am

31. I had a Pepto-Bismol pink Walkman in the 80’s (Hey, it was the 80’s) and I also had a relatively new cat.

    Usually I would just leave my Walkman in coat pocket, but for some reason one night, I left it on my table.

    I got up the next morning to a cat with a very innocent air – and a scattered mass of 1″ bits of Pepto-Bismol pink headphone cord, carefully nipped and not an inch was spared.

    Not horribly destructive, I guess, but I was super-poor and had no money to replace it.

    posted by Dianne on 10-24-2008 at 9:27 am

32. Major things our two border collies (Romy and Jake) have destroyed and/or severely damaged over the years:

    Our water main (I kid you not!)
    A gas line
    Computer and cable modem
    About 1000 sq ft of lawn
    An orange tree
    A sliding glass door
    A section of fence
    A barbeque grill
    A sofa

    These are just the big ones. They’ve calmed down quite a bit now that they’re older. Now they’re content with the occasional odd bit of minor damage.

    posted by Jason! on 10-24-2008 at 9:30 am

33. My golden, Cassie, ate the aparagus off the counter that I was about to cook. The asparagus would have really made dinner a little better.

    posted by karissa on 10-24-2008 at 9:32 am

34. Another cat with UT issue. Katie would often receive her special can food on a paper plate. And being considerate to others, she would choose her empty plate as the best spot to relieve herself. If that was unavailable, then she would use her always empty water bowl. She had awesome aim.

    posted by lcgrant on 10-24-2008 at 9:41 am

35. I once had a cat that shredded an entire box of tampons all over my room. I guess the crinkly paper and little strings were irresistable!

    posted by blitzen on 10-24-2008 at 9:44 am

36. Well, I have a bunny. I don’t believe in keeping him in a cage so he has the run of my room. Some things he’s destroyed or put holes in: my bed, my bed set, my backpack, my purse, my underwear (many), the phone line, my headphones, 3 laptop charger wires, 2 phone charger wires, numerous books, my hair (he likes me with bangs apparently)
    He’s been pretty good lately though. Just have to remember to keep everything HIGh and know that in the blink of an eye, he can snip a cord in two.

    posted by Laura on 10-24-2008 at 9:50 am

37. We had a cat growing up named Deseire, who is now known as Deseire the cat from Hell. She would sit on the back of the couch and inflict wounds to the ears of anyone nearby, walking, sitting. She almost scratched my eye out when I went to pick her up; I have the scar on my eyelid to prove it. She also would use my bed (the top bunk of a bunk bed) for her litter box.
    Well finally my parents decided she needed to leave. Called animal control to pick her up and all hell broke loose. My dad had her ready to go in the garage and when the animal control guy came she somehow ended up lose. I’m not sure how many minutes passed in the garage before they came out with her finally subdued but when they did my dad’s whole back was covered in scratches and the animal control guy had a bite wound to his thumb, through quarter of an inch thick gloves AND his thumb nail. Needless to say I’m not a cat person.

    posted by Julia on 10-24-2008 at 9:50 am

38. For some reason my cats think the two steps between the kitchen and living room are their personal scratching post. We replaced the carpet there after they scratched holes in it and they are trying to scratch through again despite trying to train them to use the scratching post AND carpeted cat-house that’s always been available for them.

    Another thing they’ve done is climb the door frames. Two of the doorways in the house have the wallpaper and door frames with deep claw marks from where they climbed to the top of them.

    posted by Lori on 10-24-2008 at 9:51 am

39. My tabby cat, Frisky, has done some funny but not terrible things. He did eat my 4th grade science project (bean sprout), which I was required to draw pictures of each day as it grew. I drew a picture of my cat eating it, and my teacher loved it!

    The following year, my sister was really upset about some beef jerky she bought at the country fair that she thought I had stolen. Somehow Frisky had really bad gas around the same time, and then we put 2 and 2 together.

    Frisky now has only 3 legs but somehow doesn’t seem to notice…

    posted by catherine ann on 10-24-2008 at 9:57 am

40. When I first started reading the comments, I was thinking, man, I’ve been lucky! I’ve got two cats and the worst they do is Squeaker, who likes to eat paper products when I’m out of town. I have to pack away the toilet paper, kleenex and paper towels or they’ll be shredded all over the house. And I had to put my spare rolls of toilet paper into an indestructible box cause he’d get into that as well.

    Really, that’s not very bad. Then I remembered Golda. We had a really stupid Golden Retriever who liked to eat strange things like light bulbs and Christmas ornaments. We had rented a house once that had a cat door (really, it was very small) between the family room and the garage. We left for the day, really just a few hours, and left Golda in the garage. When we got home, she had eaten her way around the cat door and pushed her way in. The cat door was hanging around her neck like a necklace from where she pushed through it. And since we were renters, we had a great idea to cover the evidence: We went and bought a dog door for a malamute, the thing was HUGE, screwed it into the now huge hole in the wall and pretened it was always that big! Worked like a charm.

    Oh yeah, and two years running now, my cat Squeaker has knocked down the christmas tree. Usually right after I water it, so there’s maximum water spillage. And often it’s around 2 in the morning as well. I’ve got some nice decorative ribbon and some hooks, I’m securing that tree to the wall this year!

    posted by Jenny on 10-24-2008 at 10:06 am

41. I’m very lucky compared to these stories! I have three rescue pugs and they’re great because- a) they were in puppy mills for their first 4-5 years and appreciate everything, b) they didn’t have a normal puppyhood so they don’t enjoy eating or chewing anything non-food or non-toy. However- one of them likes to pee on our bed. She sleeps there, but if she isn’t getting held or pet sometimes she’ll sneak in there and pee on it. Very strange!

    Something to note about dogs and CHOCOLATE and dogs and GUM (for Heather Dawn and qt314159265)
    -Chocolate isn’t technically “poison” to dogs, the closest thing to compare it to is like humans consuming ecstacy. It does similar things to their brain and can be fatal with a small dose, or they can have a large dose and be fine. Also, they don’t know that they like chocolate if they’ve never had it. Don’t ever let your puppy get a taste, and you won’t have to worry about them wanting it!
    -Gum: You have to be careful about this. Xylitol is an artificial sweetener found in sugar-free gum & candy along with other foods. It is very toxic to dogs. If consumed the dog should be given hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting. It will affect the liver- this is what killed my first pug Oliver, a few days later he died of liver failure.

    Just wanted you all to have some information about what can hurt your dogs! I would just not keep it in the house!

    posted by Kelly J on 10-24-2008 at 10:13 am

42. My golden ate my checkbook register about 11 years ago. I have not been balanced since. He’s also eaten ball caps, shoes, rugs, plates full of food (plate included) . . . He’s still the best dog I’ve ever had and I can’t stand to see him grow old and start to fail. It’s killing me.

    posted by jrh on 10-24-2008 at 10:32 am

43. Oh gosh, this is a great topic for me.

    My yellow lab, Marley, has quite the expensive taste. Some of his favorite snacks have included:

    The USB key to my husbands ($1000) recording software. Without it, the program doesn’t work. Luckily we dug it out of his mouth before it was rendered totally destroyed. I promised my husband the teeth marks gave it that “Distressed rocker” kind of look :)

    The power cable to my MacBook is now electrical taped because of him.

    2 PS2 controllers

    An entire pan of espresso bean brownies…let me tell you–that was a wild night!

    Just about every day is an adventure with him. We will periodically wake up at 3am to a loud crash and go downstairs to find him knee deep in trash and just grinning away. Yes, he grins when he’s in trouble.

    posted by KerriH on 10-24-2008 at 10:34 am

44. One of my cats has a little bit of a vomiting problem, which is annoying, but not too burdensome. At least, that’s what I thought until the day I walked into my bedroom and discovered he had puked all over my (open) laptop. Now one of the keys doesn’t work, plus all the keys on the right side are harder to click on. I just can’t seem to get it completely cleaned!

    posted by Meghan on 10-24-2008 at 10:37 am

45. My German Shepherd/Sharpei mix had a thing for shoes when she was younger, but only left shoes, and only my wife’s shoes. She would chew up a left shoe from one of my wife’s pairs of shoes, then move on to a left shoe from another pair. Never touched the right shoe from any pair. She ruined twice as many pairs that way as if she’d just eaten a whole pair at a time.

    posted by Jeremy on 10-24-2008 at 10:39 am

46. Our dog’s growing up both had a taste for wood. My mom’s dog was intent on eating the dog house until we coated it (every day) in cayenne pepper and tabasco. It stopped him, but my brother’s dog was immune and eventually ate multiple holes in our deck. She’d also eat rocks…

    posted by silentluciditi on 10-24-2008 at 10:41 am

47. My cat Pina chews through power cords like its candy. I highly suggest learning how to solder them back together. Saves a LOT of time and money, especially when you work from home and your modem magically goes out!!!!

    posted by Bartlett on 10-24-2008 at 10:43 am

48. My doggie has been going nuts with the chewing lately, in the past week she has chewed:
    3 remotes
    5 plastic cups
    2 pairs of SCISSORS!
    a box of crayons
    a dozen tealight candles
    a book light
    my pill box and 3 pill bottles (but not the pills)
    all the garbage
    and my favourite…

    She took every returnable bottle I have and unscrewed each cap. Left the bottle strewn about the living room and chewed all the caps

    We are so lucky she doesn’t actually swallow this stuff

    posted by Shawn on 10-24-2008 at 10:53 am

49. When I was a kid I had a dog that I was very fond of. Our relationship, however, started off very rocky. When I was about 4 years old we all moved into a new house, dog included. My parents had not set up his feeding area or something, so he decided to nurse his hunger with chunks of my head. It only required double digit amounts of stitches and somehow caused my head to have a point at the top among the scars. I love that damn dog though.

    posted by johnmay86 on 10-24-2008 at 10:55 am

50. The cat that we had when I was really young got its claw stuck up my nose.

    And you say you’ve tried everything to get your cat to stop clawing the couch, but you haven’t: Your cat still has claws to scratch your couch with.

    posted by Karleigh on 10-24-2008 at 10:56 am

51. I had a shetland dog once that decided I was some kind of demon sent to torment her. First she ate up all my shoes. Then I got smart and started putting my sneakers in a closet every day. Not having any shoes to chew on she grabbed the next best thing -my plastic framed glasses. I never did find one of the lenses, the other one was cracked and most of the frame was all chewed up.

    I was mad about it but I also think it’s hilarious that she ate my glasses.

    posted by Bebinn on 10-24-2008 at 10:56 am

52. My college roomate’s cat chewed through both our laptop power cords and all that several times, but the worst thing he did was crap in my bed, while I was sleeping in it… When I came out of my room that morning covered in crap, my roomate instinctively grabbed the cat and carried him away from me, surely saving it’s life.

    posted by Huey on 10-24-2008 at 11:03 am

53. This is in response to:
    My golden ate my checkbook register about 11 years ago. I have not been balanced since. He’s also eaten ball caps, shoes, rugs, plates full of food (plate included) . . . He’s still the best dog I’ve ever had and I can’t stand to see him grow old and start to fail. It’s killing me.

    posted by jrh

    I feel the same way about my golden. she’s 7, but is having a hard time getting up and down now.

    posted by karissa on 10-24-2008 at 11:04 am

54. @Bartlett you may want to work to find Pina a new chewing toy… we though our cat Manapua was never much of a chewer until we found her at home one day, all splayed out on the floor and acting funny. We took her to the vet to discover that she had burn marks around her mouth, and she promptly passed there. Upon returning home we found the router cord had definite kitty-sized punctures.. =

    posted by drumnbasskitty on 10-24-2008 at 11:06 am

55. These stories make my cats destruction habits seem trivial! I’m not so mad anymore. But, I did have a yellow lab when I was younger, named Kalijah, who once ate through my parent’s mattress (twice), a pair of eyeglasses, and my mom’s college textbooks… all in one sitting. He also used to carry the bbq pit around the yard in his mouth and chunk it across the lawn. The same with our kittens. He would carry the by the scruff of their necks around the yard… then throw them in the air, and bat them like he was playing baseball!

    posted by Kari on 10-24-2008 at 11:13 am

56. For those with kitty chewers, I was able to break my cats of the habit when they were young with about 5 minutes of work:

    If they go for certain wires/cords, just get yourself a habanero pepper, slice it in half (wearing gloves!!) and rub the insides along the wire in question. It won’t harm your equipment, and it also won’t harm your cat — but they will learn VERY QUICKLY that cords are not for putting in the mouth.

    There is also bitter apple spray on the pet supply market that is supposed to have much the same effect, but people report mixed results…

    posted by Katie on 10-24-2008 at 11:20 am

57. Two cats, 600 record albums. Bought a turntable to start digitizing the albums. Took them out of storage and lined them up along a wall in a spare bedroom. Walked into the room one day and found that the cats had started using the albums to sharpen their claws. Shredded album spines everywhere.

    On a side note, the stupider of the above cats found its way into the spaces between our roof and top floor. Wandered around through all the fluff insulation (he’s a long hair, 2 weeks later we’re still picking it out of his fur) and then got into the eaves running the length of the house. From there he got on top of the vinyl ceiling of our porch where he promptly fell through to the outside. Only the bulging hole in the porch ceiling told the story of what happened. He’s an indoor cat, but showed up a few hours later – definitely shaken, but not stirred. . .

    posted by gwdmaine on 10-24-2008 at 11:23 am

58. @ silentluciditi

    We tried using tabasco with our dogs to prevent them from pulling up an electrical grounding strap at our old house. Found out they really like tabasco. What did deter them was a Bitter apple spray we got from the pet store, but it has to be reapplyed ever so often.

    Also, our dogs broke the first doghouses I made for them (busted them up and dragged them about the yard). I ended building a framed and reinforced (heavy), double walled and insulated dog condo that has so far been very destruction resistant (and hard to move).

    posted by Jason! on 10-24-2008 at 11:28 am

59. Well one cat won’t use a scratching post and instead uses the one dining room chair, doorframe or bench to “stretch” on. The other has destroyed the top of my computer chair. And the oldest tends to poop other places besides the litter box when I am out too late or on vacation (even though someone comes to stay with them, once they leave, he does a poop before I arrive back home). He used to do it under the one window or by the computer desk, but now he usually does it smack in the middle of my bed to show just how unhappy he is. I put a rubber sheet on my bed every day now just in case.

    posted by LMW on 10-24-2008 at 11:33 am

60. My cat is named Spaz. That is short for Spazmatic. He slices, he dices, he julienne fries.

    I have put most of my cords inside garden hose (cheaper then cord covers) and covered most of my power strips with mesh bread baskets because he likes to chew on cords.

    Several of my cabinets have rubber bands on them to keep him out of the food.

    Plastic bags are not safe around him. I used to love organizing with vacuum sealed bags. A vacuum seal is impossible when the bag has thousand of little teeth marks.

    He sometimes needs to be put in ‘time out’ because he will repeatably attack my legs because I told him no.

    I once ate a piece of cake with cream cheese frosting standing up in the middle of my living room away from any bookshelves or tables because my cat decided he wanted it. He declared his ownership but hooking a claw on the fork and trying to drag it to his mouth…while I was still holding it.

    He has none of the oft spoken of feline grace. There are intermittent crashes through out my apartment as the cat tries to stand on, climb, jump on or otherwise put weight on something that cannot support him. He will often do this repeatedly in the same place even though the items falls over every time. Then again, I’m not sure who is the dumb one. The cat for repeatedly failing or me for repeatedly putting the items back even though I know the cat will upset them again.

    posted by jmanna on 10-24-2008 at 11:37 am

61. The worst thing any pet has done was my son’s cat, when being petted by my 4 year old daughter, suddenly jumped up and attacked her face, biting here very severely, and requiring a trip to the emergency room. Needless to say, the cat lost it’s head….

    posted by Vickey on 10-24-2008 at 11:38 am

62. Just this morning a young stray cat that I am nursing back to health peed on my bed. She knows how to use the litter box, but still chose to pee on the bed. Kitty psychology aside, I suppose she either has a bladder infection or is marking territory – either way, I am not amused.

    posted by Keeker on 10-24-2008 at 11:39 am

63. Karleigh declawing a cat is horrible ….how would you like to have your fingernails ripped out? Also if they ever get out they cannot defend themselves….the solution if someone is that worried about scratching of furniture is to not get a cat.

    posted by KiKi on 10-24-2008 at 11:44 am

64. When my dog MeiLing was young she jumped through a screen on our screened-in-deck to get to my mom when she couldn’t see her anymore. Mom was pretty confused when our chowchow mix came strolling around the house. She also chewed the bottom of our giant grandfather clock my grandfathr made. She is now 11 and a half and is not doing very well, I thik I will always look at the chew marks in the wood with happy memories.

    posted by Brittany on 10-24-2008 at 11:46 am

65. Our dog (who is an outdoor dog because of the chewing issues) has chewed up and/or eaten: the doormat outside of the back door, 3 window screens, the grill cover, the grill mat, the grill igition wires, tiki torch wicks (even though they were soaked with flammable oil), a plastic wading pool, the patio chairs, and the edges of the deck. This is in spite of the fact that he has another dog to keep him company and we’ve given him a yardful of toys, which he’s completely chewed up too!

    posted by June on 10-24-2008 at 11:48 am

66. OK–I don’t have a destructive pet story, or anything else, really, to say.

    Just wanted to say that the picture posted with this article is the best one I’ve ever seen at mental_floss! Great job!

    posted by Adam on 10-24-2008 at 11:49 am

67. My dog Buzz is a Blue heeler/Border Collie that likes to chew up underwear. I bet I have replaced hundreds of pairs. Luckily that’s the only thing she chews up.

    posted by OU812 on 10-24-2008 at 11:56 am

68. My darling angel of a dog had a habit of laying on our ps2 controller cables, when we were in the middle of a game. Usually this just led to unplugged cables. One day, he’s laying on the floor as usual. He’s got his little rope chew toy to side of the wires. We’re playing (probably Brave Fencer Musashi) and the screen informed us that a controller had been unplugged. It hadn’t…. little bastard chewed all the way through the cord. He got the living hell scared out of him (pointing and emphatically stating NO!! NO!! BAD DOG CHEWS CONTROLLERS!!!). Yeah, he doesn’t do that crap anymore. **Before you yell at me for yelling at my dog, please note that he’s my precious little monkey, and we don’t beat him. He’s a guilt-hound.**

    posted by Leeshka on 10-24-2008 at 11:57 am

69. Oh, I almost forgot!! Our other dog, Chipper, was crated from the day we brought him home because he had a chewing habit. He was a tiny little puppy with a crate which was large enough for a german shepard. No problem, right? Lots of room, toys, hell – we’d even leave the television on while he was home alone so he would have something to watch. One day, the crate wasn’t fastened well enough, and he got out. When we got home, it looked like a three year old rock star had trashed the place. There was no area left untouched, including the bathroom vinyl which he systematically tore off of the floor. I begged my husband to get rid of him, he refused. Once our daughter was born, he had apparently found his job because he did a total 180 and turned into the best dog in the world. We had to put him down several months ago, and I’ve got to tell you, I still cry about that damned dog.

    posted by Leeshka on 10-24-2008 at 12:09 pm

70. Just a few things Freddie, my mom’s dog has eaten: whole bananas, whole loaves of bread, a jar of prescription cholesterol medicine, newspapers, a 1-pound bag of caramels (plastic wrappers and all), 7 dozen chocolate cookies (in one sitting). For the plastic wrappers, we had to feed him cotton balls soaked in Castor oil so they wouldn’t scratch his stomach. Luckily, he’s a larger dog, so when he ate the chocolate cookies they weren’t enough to be fatal–but they did leave him puking up chocolate syrup all over the white carpet!

    posted by JenPo on 10-24-2008 at 12:26 pm

71. Not neccisarily bad behavior, but definitely mischief.
    My cat has the capacity to jump very high. She is a pound cat, but she’s of manx and possibly tonkinese descent (this breed is known for its high jumping).

    Anyway, when she was a kitten, one time I heard a moaning-like mew. I looked all around the den, then I found her clinging to the very top of the door. I’m 4′9, so I couldn’t get her down. I had to open the door with her own it and get my bro to get her down. Needless to say, she never jumped that high ever again.

    posted by Maggie on 10-24-2008 at 12:39 pm

72. My labradors growing up ate anything we left on the dining room table. This included my Oakleys (I was one devastated girl in 1996), an entire table full of chocolate, a birthday cake, and multiple dinners left unmanned for a matter of minutes. We once left them at my Uncle’s over Christmas, and he shut them in the unfinished part of the basement while he was out at dinner. They met him at the front door, having eaten through the laundry room door, a chunk of carpeting, and the Christmas tree.

    posted by JenC on 10-24-2008 at 12:43 pm

73. Karleigh: Declawing at an older age can cause emotional/psychological problems. Also, some people don’t believe in declawing their cats. It’s like a mother asking what she should do for her uncircumsized son with a yeast infection, then you say, “Well, just circumsize him, dumbass!”

    posted by Maggie on 10-24-2008 at 12:45 pm

74. Not an awful pet doing, just a fun story…

    Our cat like to frequent a doughnut shop near our house for cream and snacks, and people would often pick her up thinking she’s lost.

    One time a call from these helpful people came from our local police department informing us they found our cat and then promptly booked her for assault and battery on a mouse.

    posted by NateJ on 10-24-2008 at 12:45 pm

75. We had this dog name thunder. Not sure what kind of dog it was (part St.Bernard for sure), but it was huge (over 150 pounds) and dumber than a box of rocks. Actually I think that would be an insult to the box of rocks, but i digress. The two stories that stick out most just leave me at a loss for an explanation.
    The first was what happens when your dog is overly excited to see you. We had a two story house and Thunder like to sleep in my room on the second floor. One day we came home and we could see him through the window jumping around excited because we were home.I looked up and saw that he was gone from the window so I figured that he had gone down the stairs to meet us at the door. WRONG. I look up again for no particular reason and here comes Thunder. He decided to JUMP THROUGH THE SECOND FLOOR WINDOW to get to us. After a few tense seconds of no movement from Thunder, he got up, did the ol’ doggy shake and went about as if nothing had happened.
    Another time I guess we were away from the house to long and he wanted to go outside. This time he decided to use the door instead of the window. And by using the door, I mean he CHEWED his way through a metal door. When we got back, there was a gaping 3 foot hole in the door with blood everywhere. It looked like a murder scene. And of course, there was thunder with he head sticking through the hole just happy to see us. Fortunately the cuts were minor and he is still alive and kicking today.

    posted by rob on 10-24-2008 at 12:57 pm

76. We used to have a black lab/akita mix. She was a massive, muscular dog but very docile. We used to leave her in charge of the neighbor kids when going on vacation and instruct them to hook her to the chain around the front porch post for a few hours a day. One vacation, we came back to find that she had pulled the entire post off the porch!

    posted by Korin on 10-24-2008 at 12:58 pm

77. Nothing as severe as others, my Bichon decided to destroy my Bluetooth headset that was sitting on the nightstand. Didn’t eat it, just chewed. He does have a strong liking of TP, but mainly when I can’t give him 100% attention. (For instance, in the middle of playing fetch, but I happen to be on the phone at the same time.)

    posted by Melissa on 10-24-2008 at 1:02 pm

78. wow, this is a great thread, and totally made for rabbit owners. I have two house rabbits, and though they sleep in a large pen, they usually have the run of the apartment when we’re home. Aside from having to replace countless wires (I’ve become an expert and homemade wire-splicing), they’ve nibbled holes in jeans, gym bags, and shoes, dug up the corners of carpets, chewed the spackle off the corners of our walls, eaten the covers off of books, and eaten the rubber stoppers off our door stops. They are generally pretty clean (litter trained), they are just about willing to taste anything – such voracious digestive systems cannot be stopped!

    posted by kristin on 10-24-2008 at 1:12 pm

79. how’s this for awful – we had a miniature pincher growing up that would destroy anything with any “feminine odor”… she ruined countless pairs of underwear and would often raid the trash cans for used products. i can’t tell you how embarassing it is to come home with a friend and find that kind of a mess all over the living room. gross, gross, gross.
    on a less awful note, the two dogs i have now refuse to let me own a rug. they are house broken and won’t mess on the tile, but if i lay a rug down, it might last a week.

    posted by tiffany on 10-24-2008 at 1:24 pm

80. I have a Jack Russell Terrier that has been unnaturally well behaved as far as leaving everything alone. We don’t have to worry about leaving magazines or shoes out where she can get to them, she seems to instinctively know that they belong to us, not to her. But she does have an insatiable lust for a tennis ball. If a tennis ball is lying around she must have it. And she must do something with it. If one of us is not around to toss the ball to her, she will revert to her terrier instincts and try to tuck the ball into a tight space and then dig for it. She has pushed the ball under the couch and torn up the cloth under the furniture trying to get it back. She once pushed the ball under the closet door and dug through the drywall retrieving it.

    I also had a Scottish Terrier that wnated to chew on evertyhing, including chewing up the ends of the rockers on an antique rocking chair! That one ended up donated to a rural family with a lot of kids!

    posted by dwholmz on 10-24-2008 at 1:26 pm

81. We had trouble with our cats clawing the couch until we realized they didn’t claw on leather. So we bought all leather furniture and no more claw marks!

    The trouble I do have is that they are outside cats with their own door and they are stone cold killers!

    The morning after my husband and I got back from vacation, we came down to find a headless rabbit corpse covered in ants in the middle of the living room. It was really annoying and gross but not a huge problem, until we realized it was on top of our dirty clothes we had left out that night before. Needless to say there was blood and insects all over our clothes. There was something pretty curious about the scene too. Looking around the house, we found chunks of rabbit hair in the corners, behind the toilet, couch etc. The rabbit had been brought in alive and had run all over the house shedding hair because it was scared.

    We never found the head. I’m telling you, stone cold killers.

    posted by Tricia on 10-24-2008 at 1:34 pm

82. When our gold retriever was a puppy, she would gnaw on a brass door stop in our kitchen. She eventually ate all the way through it and it all but disappeared. Never caused her any harm though, she’s still around and healthy.

    posted by Bug on 10-24-2008 at 1:41 pm

83. Funny you bring this up. I’ve been thinking of renaming Samson the Ragdoll, Robert Goulet for the past week or so.
    The cat follows me around, and I swear, just finds naughty things to do. All the while looking me squarely in the eye.
    Most of them involve using his huge paw to swipe something onto the floor. Nothing too destructive yet!

    posted by mrs.djs on 10-24-2008 at 1:58 pm

84. When I was 6 or 7 I had a shi-tzu mutt of some kind (appropriately named Muttley) and she got into my 100 pack of crayolas one day while no one was home. We came home to discover many of the crayons chewed up. The next day Muttley had decorated our yard with rainbow-colored piles. I still can’t look at crayons the same.

    posted by Elaine on 10-24-2008 at 2:01 pm

85. I have had quite a few misbehaven animals over the years but the worst incidents are as follows: my american eskimo Marvin once ate just the on/off swich to my dads leaf blower which wouldnt be such a big deal if my dad didnt make a living with that leaf blower (he owns his own landscaping business) The second comes from my mom. They had gotten a cat about the time I was born and I guess it used to piss on everything when they would leave her alone for too long hence the name “piss kitty” anyhoo, she once pissed on the kitchen stove causing the house to be cat piss scented whenever they turned on that particular burner. And then there is Max he is the newest addition to our family and he just recently chewed a gigantic hole in the lining of the pond in our back yard I dont even know why he would go through so much trouble to do so considering that he would have to be in the water with his head submerged in order to eat the lining of the pond. Also last weekend I was making cinamon rolls and I had them in the pan and was waiting for the oven to preheat and I left the room for about 5 minutes and when I came back he had both front paws up on the counter and had just consumed the entire package of cinamon rolls. Needless to say he spent the rest of the night outside because his farts where so bad. I mean they were really really bad. Really bad.

    posted by Tawnya on 10-24-2008 at 2:12 pm

86. My husband’s pug puppy, Sophie ate two iPods in two days, plus a wide array of remote controls, laptop and cell phone chargers and just about anything else she can get in her mouth. When will we ever learn to keep stuff up?

    posted by Rhonda on 10-24-2008 at 2:49 pm

87. I now have two very well-behaved outside-dogs that were two very insane-dogs up until last month. Everyone told me pitbulls are too energetic for apartment living, but would I listen? Nooooo….
    The “good” one, Hunter, had a talent for unzipping the zippers of the couch cushions to get at the green stuffing inside. Once she even zipped it back up after she’d emptied it. I thought you had to have thumbs to do something like that.
    Last summer I spent three hours decorating a Fourth of July cake, complete with fancy fondant icing arranged to look like the American flag. I went to wash my hands, and when I got back, our other dog, Daisy, had eaten all the stars and half the stripes.
    After two years of destruction, they now have their own fenced-in yard in which to romp. We also owe $900 in damages to the apartment. But I knew they were worth it the afternoon I found them both curled up asleep in a recently-emptied couch cushion.

    posted by beth on 10-24-2008 at 2:59 pm

88. @ Tricia – My cat Cleo (1/2 siamese, 1/2 british black) left me a present of a headless rabbit in my closet one day. I was 6 years old and getting ready for school when I found it. Traumatizing. I found out last year (21 yrs after the fact) that my brother got the head. Guess Cleo liked him better… My parents told him not to tell me but I feel a little better that at least there was never a tiny rabbit skull hidden in a corner in my house. There’s something to be aid for closure!

    posted by ac on 10-24-2008 at 3:02 pm

89. About 10 years ago, we had a mutt that was a real chewer. He was a large dog, and because he started eating the wallpaper and carpet we ended up having to keep him outside. He had plenty of toys, but made short work of them – so he chewed the posts on the deck. After a few days, every one was square at the top and round at the bottom. He also liked aluminum cans. He would grab a can out of the recycling bin and shred it into thousands of tiny, tiny, confetti pieces and leave them all over the yard. The aluminum bits made his poo sparkle, but he never got sick. When he started destroying the steps off the deck and then the cover to our hot tub, we got wise and found him a new home.

    posted by Cary on 10-24-2008 at 3:05 pm

90. My mother has a schnauzer, and one morning about a week before Christmas we woke up to a present under the tree.

    A very bloody, very dead, large adult rabbit.

    I think that the pup was just showing her gratitude by trying to give us a meal in return for all the ones we had given her…

    No, we did not eat the rabbit.

    posted by Orange on 10-24-2008 at 3:09 pm

91. I should have mentioned in my story about the dog (a few posts above), that we tried several products to try to keep him from chewing. I came home one day to him lapping up the remains of a one-liter bottle of Bitter Apple that he had chewed through and had leaked all over our living room carpet and kitchen floor… Thats when we decided he would make a better “outdoor dog.”

    Yeah, good times, good times…

    posted by Cary on 10-24-2008 at 3:34 pm

92. I’m crying from laughing so hard.

    A couple stories…

    My mom, several years back, bought a new house and wanted to get some cats. Well, she didn’t want the new kittens scratching her new house, so she had them declawed. No problem – they still had their back claws, so they would climb up every single door post in the house and then slide back down, leaving several six foot long gouges in the wood. Every doorway in the house.

    Around the same time, I got a cat and her kitten from the SPCA. The cat, Emerald, wanted to teach her kitten how to hunt, so one night as I was getting up from the couch, I saw a dried leaf in the middle of my hallway. Then another. Then another. Following the trail I found Emerald and her kitten chasing a live chipmunk. She had apparently popped out a screen, went out into the woods, found the chipmunk, brought it back, and was letting the kitten try to kill it. So the next five minutes featured me running around the apartment trying to save a chipmunk from 2 cats. And did you know chipmunks can jump about 4 feet up the side of a wall? Me, neither.

    Emerald also didn’t like my husband. Since he was the first one out in the morning, she would intentionally crap in front of the front door. And of course he would have to clean it up, cursing the whole time. This went on for WEEKS!!! Until finally I sat him down with Emerald and made him make nice with the cat. After an evening petting her, she never crapped in front of the door again.

    I should have paid more attention to the cat. We divorced a year or so later.

    posted by Heather on 10-24-2008 at 3:39 pm

93. My dog has eaten my retainer (twice), my mom’s reading glasses, a Wendy’s application my brother had filled out and two bookmarks I had spent hours cross-stiching for Mother’s Day, one for my mom and one for my Granny. Granny never got her bookmark because the dog completely destroyed it but Mom used her half-eaten one, that is, until the dog eat the rest of it. Did I mention the countless dozens of chocolate chip cookies and brownies he has been somehow able to access even though they’re at the very back of the counter?

    posted by Amanda on 10-24-2008 at 3:43 pm

94. My cats aren’t really destructive. Just stupid. One has leapt off my 9th floor balcony.

    Twice.

    No damage whatsoever.

    posted by Lerren on 10-24-2008 at 4:00 pm

95. Having had cats for all of my life (and a few dogs tossed in for good measure) I have many, many stories about dead things being brought to me, emergency clinic visits, claws marked furniture, etc.

    But the best story I have happened in 2001. I was living alone with my 2 cats and my dog. One of my cats, Simeon, a rescued blue-point Ragdoll mix, was quite the hellion. Besides peeing on me in my bed and knocking over anything that was not glued down, he liked to chew on my mini-blind cords. I tried to keep them out of his reach, but he got to them sometimes anyway.

    One fine day, my mom and aunt were visiting. My aunt is kind of a priss (read: bitch) who hates animals. I had a small efficiency apartment and we were visiting nicely in the “living room” when I noticed what I thought was a large worm coming out of Simeon’s anus. Afraid he would jump into my aunt’s lap and expel the worm onto her nice teal pants, I grabbed a napkin to rid him of his “problem.” This is when I discovered that it was not a worm coming out of him, but instead a 1″ portion of mini-blind cord. Freaked out, I began to lightly tug on it. Naturally, Simeon began to howl and my mom and aunt were quite alarmed. After chasing him around the apartment for a good 10 minutes, I finally got a hold of him and took him into my bathroom for further inspection/ removal. Once enclosed in a small area, I began tugging harder at the cord. It began to give whilst Simeon was squawking louder and louder. I remember wondering if I should take him to the Vet, and hoping to God that I did not tear anything vital inside of him during the removal. When it was all said and done I had pulled 8 inches of cord from his ass — WITH A KNOT in the center of it!!!!! Needless to say, my aunt was quite disgusted and I was kind of delighted by that.

    Simeon is 10 years old today and a MUCH better kitty. He does not pee on my bed, knock things over or chew up my cords anymore. But watch out, he’ll drink out of anything you leave uncovered on the coffee table.

    posted by renis on 10-24-2008 at 4:06 pm

96. I used to travel with a touring theatre company, and we stayed mostly with families for a week at a time. I was being housed by a lovely family in Washington who had a cocker spaniel. The dog was adorable, playful, snuggly – all the things you want in a dog – but he had a thing for the taste of blood. The family was hosting a dinner party on my behalf (complete with many school-age children) when the dog emerged from the bathroom carrying my used sanitary napkin in his mouth, which he proceeded to devour in front of the guests. I still don’t know which of us was more mortified.

    posted by Kristin on 10-24-2008 at 4:29 pm

97. Long ago when I was a Girl Scout, my chocolate lab Chewy ate 3 cases (cases, NOT boxes) of Thin Mint Cookies, boxes, plastic and all. We came home to this horrid smell of wet, doggy scented mint. My father, who get’s physically sick at the smell of mint, had to leave the house. We find Chewy in the livingroom panting heavily but overall just looking overly full. Although the vet told us he surely couldn’t live through the night (chocolate normally does kill dogs), she advised having him drink water and peroxide to induce vomiting. He never did get sick but just foamed at the mouth all night. He also survived that night and lived for another 10 years, as did the memory of that terrible dog breath that night. Boy do I miss him.

    posted by Lainey on 10-24-2008 at 4:56 pm

98. My dog (border collie lab) had only a few destructive incidents. The most memorable is from when she first got tall enough to counter-surf. My mom had her tax paperwork on the kitchen table. Bank statements, W-2, etc., for her accountatnt appointment that weekend. I came home from work, and found tiny, little scraps of paper completely covering the kitchen floor. She knew she’d been bad and why. Tail between legs as soon as I came in. (Spoiled indoor dog had to stay outside for an hour while I cleaned up. She sat on the porch watching me through the slider, giving big, sad puppy eyes.
    Mom and I found enough of her W-2, but she had to go to the bank for copies the bank statements. The lady at the bank couldn’t stop laughing.

    posted by steph on 10-24-2008 at 5:34 pm

99. My 1 1/2 year old German shepherd/Laborador mix decided to teach me a lesson when I first started dating the man who became my husband. I came home to find that large holes had been gnawed into both my love seat and sleeper sofa and Much, Much, Much stuffing removed. I found stuffing for days all over the house and the sofa/loveseat combo made a trip to the curb for the trashman to cart away!

    posted by amelia on 10-24-2008 at 5:35 pm

100. I was furious with my puppy for eating my Palm Pilot until I realized that now I had a great excuse for upgrading.

     posted by Gus Oltz on 10-24-2008 at 6:36 pm

101. Growing up, we had a husky mix that would eat anything- ANYTHING- he could get his teeth on. Whole loaves of bread, plastic included. Tubs of butter, plastic included. Entire pizzas, box included. The worst was the time my great aunt came to visit and brought her famous chocolate pound cake. While we were bringing her luggage in from the car, Smokey ate the entire cake.

     He also had a bad habit of stealing remote controls and hiding them in the backyard.

     I miss that dog :)

     posted by Jen on 10-24-2008 at 6:37 pm

102. @ac: My cat Binx is 1/2 siamese, 1/2 black cat! I don’t know if it’s British Black but I got him in England. Maybe it’s that mix that causes them to take the heads off animals. :O) The rabbit was just the worst. I’ve gotten headless birds, mice and what appeared to be a nest of moles or something. Bleh.

     Does Cleo talk to you too? Binx will come in and make himself known, then meow back everytime you say something. It’s pretty awesome.

     posted by Tricia on 10-24-2008 at 6:40 pm

103. When I was little kid, my Dalmatian, Minnie, used to slice open the end of her tail. We eventually figured out it was a nail sticking out from a board in the backyard fence she kept running past, but anyway.

     Being a Dalmatian who was relatively the same age as me, she’d run around the house after her tail got cut, and there be a line of blood on the walls at about 2 feet off the ground.

     People used to always think my parents abused us kids. No, our dog was just stupid.

     posted by Catherine on 10-24-2008 at 7:56 pm

104. There isn’t one single incident, but I have lost one laptop charger, one cell phone charger and about three phone lines to my bunny’s teeth. She also knocked the W off my keyboard once, but we got a replacement from on old laptop for free because the salesperson liked the story. She also tried to run off with a piece of pizza once.

     posted by Sally Villarreal on 10-24-2008 at 8:54 pm

105. Well, apart from my bladder-happy cat that sprayed everything, one of my cat Eats Wires. And I mean, every wire I own. Rubbing hot pepper oil on them just seems to be seasoning in her eyes. Especially my computer headset cords. I’ve gone through THREE IN ONE DAY once before I could get them into my handy-dandy hard-plastic cord cover tube.

     posted by Jennifer on 10-24-2008 at 9:11 pm

106. I thought of another one! While I was deployed to the desert, a stray cat started to frequent my house and interact with my husband and my two cats. My husband would come home and find that the stray had come in through our cat door and was now sleeping on the chair in the living room! What we didn’t know is the cat would spray everywhere he possibly could and in places we didn’t find til weeks later.

     One day my husband came home to find the cat (we call him Kahn) in the house and wanted to trap him and take him to the shelter. Bad idea. Kahn went ballistic and destroyed everything within reach, even after he was locked in the bathroom. My husband couldn’t enter the room for fear of leaving without eyeballs, so he just let the cat go. He still comes around, but we switched out the cat door. It’s magnetically activated now and only my cats have the key.

     posted by Tricia on 10-24-2008 at 9:58 pm

107. Ive got a pair of guinea pigs…had a pair of guinea pigs… and one day they decided it would be great fun to chew through my speaker wires for my stereo. I was not pleased. My cats are not destructive, but the little papillion dog we own has his moments of insanity.

     posted by Jess on 10-24-2008 at 11:00 pm

108. One time at a sleepover when I was 13, my friend’s dog ate my retainer after I laid it in its case in the morning. My mom was so pissed…

     posted by Kelly on 10-24-2008 at 11:33 pm

109. I had a pair of cat brothers named Ralph and Eddie. For some reason, these cats had an insatiable desire for all things broccoli. I walked into the kitchen one day and opened the cabinet where we kept the trash can. As I pulled the container out, Ralph, who was sitting in the can contentedly eating broccoli looked up at me with a gaze that clearly said “What?”

     Another time, I was awakened by the sound of a battle royale being held in the living room. I went to investigate and discovered Ralph and Eddie going at it like little furry gladiators. The melee ranged over the entire living room, dining room, kitchen and laundry room. Finally, Ralph broke Eddie’s choke hold and made a beeline for the dryer and extracted the nastiest, fuzz-and-cat-litter covered floret of broccoli I had ever seen, and then he ran for cover.

     Another time, I made a really nice dinner for our anniversary. I made steaks, baked potatoes, veggies (no broccoli), and a key lime pie with meringue. My wife and I ate dinner and had a slice of pie each and settled into the living room to watch a movie. When it was over, I went into the kitchen and discovered I had left the pie out. And those stupid cats had eaten all the meringue off of it!

     posted by Anthony on 10-25-2008 at 12:50 am

110. Two of the cats that my family used to own have ruined carpets, hardwood floors, couches, lots of clothing, books, toys and even the stove all by refusing to use their litterbox, even after being neutered. After many years of putting up with their unwillingness to use their litterboxes, we finally found a no-kill shelter that had enough space to take them.

     posted by ML on 10-25-2008 at 1:12 am

111. my orange tabby French Fry likes to cover things- his treats, his water dish, everything. he will DRAG things from another room to cover stuff up with. we just let them drink out of the bathroom sink now because if there’s a water dish on the floor, it has to be changed every half an hour or so.

     and our ferrets are into everything, and i mean everything. we just recently cleaned out their stash from under our sofa- dirty socks, dish rags, all the cat toys, crackers, a dried little piece of sausage (!?!) and a whole bunch of stuffed animals. all this stuff packed and wedged into one tiny corner of the sofa. cute, but irritating.

     posted by Em on 10-25-2008 at 1:22 am

112. Our Boxer ate a cactus and 3 wick candle while we were at work…you can imagine the results.

     posted by Cheryl on 10-25-2008 at 6:20 am

113. My dog ate some of my mental_floss issues. I was upset, but still have what’s left of the ones she ate.

     posted by CSM on 10-25-2008 at 8:16 am

114. My husband once bought one of those Mouse Man mouse devices. It was a mouse shaped like a bear claw with three buttons. He would bring it back and forth from work and leave it on his desk. I warned him that he was inviting trouble by leaving it out.

     Sure enough, one day he was trying to use the middle button and couldn’t because the cat had chewed on the cable.

     It was worth it the day I called the manufacturer’s tech support to tell them that the mouse no longer worked because our cat ate it. After he fell off his chair and confirmed that the warranty was covered they sent us a new one.

     posted by Space Cowgirl on 10-25-2008 at 2:03 pm

115. @KerriH: destructive yellow lab named marley? I hope you’ve read Marley & Me by John Grogan.. they’re making a movie that comes out christmas day this year.. I can’t wait to see it.

     And I think everyone here would appreciate the book.

     I know I did. I have a half yellow lab/half everything else mix and she has consumed every pair of shoes in my household, every rug, she has parties with newspaper.. everything.

     but she’s a year old now, and she’s slowing down (kinda)

     posted by Casey on 10-25-2008 at 2:53 pm

116. i am moving out of my current apartment. my cat has ruined the baseboard of my kitchen counter by repeatedly peeing on it. i need to figure out how to fix it/cover it up or forfeit my deposit. **sigh** i’ll get my revenge though, she has to go to the vet this week. :D

     my African grey parrot has chewed some pieces off of the wall as well-which worried me a bit as there is lead paint in the walls, but he seems to be fine- but i am pretty sure that i can fix that. spackling compound can cover up anything!

     posted by the creature on 10-25-2008 at 4:15 pm

117. My 14 month old beagle has destroyed:
     -2 blackberries (the smartphone, not the fruit)
     - a pair of glasses
     - at least 10 pairs of shoes (the number has been going up since she got some sort of super jumping power)
     - my ATM card
     - my driver’s license
     - my wallet
     - the bathroom door
     - my laptop keyboard
     - remote controls (chewed down to the motherboards)
     - power cords
     - 2 external hard drives
     - Cds
     - cellphone
     - a rubber mallet

     So far it seems like she’s calmed down with the chewing. As I type that, I’m sure she’s into something she shouldn’t be.

     posted by Kim on 10-25-2008 at 5:38 pm

118. On declawing: they do not “rip out” a cat’s claws. They put the cat down and perform a procedure that is much more advanced. In a week, stitches should dissolve and come out on their own.

     Growing up, our cats were always declawed, and the cat I rescued from the shelter at 5 and a half weeks has since been declawed. 4 years later, he’s a perfectly happy healthy little guy. In fact, he’s chilling on my lap right now as he always does when I’m obviously busy.

     If your cat is not an outdoor cat (and, if you really care about your cat you won’t leave it outside), the cat does not need its front claws. A careful owner won’t be so stupid as to allow their cat to get out.

     Anyway, as far as destruction goes, when my cat still had claws, he decided to walk across my laptop. As I tried to pick him off, he dug his claws around the keys. When I finally pulled him off, it was rainin’ keys in my apartment.

     posted by trish on 10-25-2008 at 6:40 pm

119. I apologize if this has been mentioned already, but I couldn’t read all the posts. Have any of you read “Marley and Me” by John Grogan? It makes any psycho-destructive-pet owner feel better that they’re not alone in their suffering. Just as all these posts do. But it’s a great read for any animal lover/sufferer.

     posted by bre on 10-25-2008 at 8:03 pm

120. Oh…and this bears a second comment. Excellent photo!

     posted by bre on 10-25-2008 at 8:07 pm

121. As background, it should be noted that my cat, Smudge, is quite obese, weighing in at just over 20 pounds on a pretty average frame (If you look at her from above when she’s standing, she is so large that she actually looks square)

     With that in mind, one day Smudge and I were both amicably sitting on the front porch together; I was reading and she was probably dreaming about her next opportunity to eat. Everything was calm, quiet, and idyllic until a dog came running up to the porch. Smudge doesn’t like dogs, so she started hissing and growling at the thing, and I was anticipating a big, tubby fight so I picked her up intending to bring her inside.

     This was a terrible idea. Instead of being greatful for me ferrying her to safety, the cat went for the first soft, malleable thing she could find and dug her claws into it- this would be my face.

     It was bad enough having a scared, angry cat swipe at my face, but Smudge actually embedded her claws into it and was hanging by them. With twenty pounds of cat hanging from my face by her claws, I was undertandably a bit tense, and, forgetting the random stray dog entirely, grabbed the cat by the midsection tightly to keep her still, brought her inside, and deposited her, face still attached to claws, on my bed so I could seperate from her.

     I looked a little like one of those “I was a victim of excessive violence!” halloween masks with all the scars for a few weeks, and it was a little odd explaining that all my facial carnage came via my cat.

     posted by Allegra on 10-25-2008 at 8:22 pm

122. I laughed until I cried when reading through this list. My dog seems like an angel, but he has destroyed things – sprinkler system, shoes, dog bed. I still remember the day when I called home and my niece told me my dog had taken the comforter off my bed and tore a hole in it. It couldn’t be repaired. He learned to destroy the pear shaped Kong dog toys. We would buy him the “pit bull tested” dog chew toys and watch him destroy them. He’s a lot better now, but the worst day was when I came home to find that they had torn open a buckwheat filled pillow and strewn the contents all over my bedroom.

     posted by Christy on 10-26-2008 at 12:59 am

123. One evening, my husband and I noticed a curious piece of white fuzz sticking out from our cat’s behind. After some investigation and a little pulling, we discovered that this white fuzz was the end of a q-tip our cat had swallowed whole. It turns out that he has a penchant for eating q-tips. I think he must like the taste of earwax. He’ll even knock over the trash and dig through to find discarded q-tips. Then he swallows them whole, which leaves him uncomfortable for hours. Now we flush any used q-tips down the toilet.

     Also, the same cat once clawed off half the keys on my open laptop.

     posted by Renee on 10-26-2008 at 10:07 am

124. When I was a student, my house mate had a cat that liked to sleep on top of the fridge.

     I petted her one morning, and in her delight she rolled off the fridge and decided to try to hold onto my face with her claws to break the fall. Her claws missed my left eye with about a quarter of an inch, and – as it turns out – my tear duct with much less.

     I went to the emergency room with my face covered in blood, and the physicians had a look that said “sure, whatever you say” when I told him what had happened.

     posted by Per on 10-26-2008 at 10:21 am

125. i used to walk dogs and one of my clients had a grey hound and a weiner dog. one day while i was getting their leashes out of the drawer i heard one of the dogs make a loud hacking sound. i truned around and the big dog had vomited all over the back of the little dog. it was really gross.

     posted by kat on 10-26-2008 at 12:40 pm

126. Great solutions to cat problems….

     (1) Replace your furniture with leather furniture. First of all, the cats might try to scratch it, but it won’t tear. so all that will happen is the leather will get softer and “age” into a nice comfortable chair. The cats will give up scratching and go to a scratch pad or wood. They will also take to laying on the chair as they love leather. You must get real leather though… Vinyl tears and will result in a mess.

     (2) You might want to redesign your house to be cat friendly. Google the cat house designs…

     posted by rob on 10-26-2008 at 3:11 pm

127. One day while we were at work our 2 labs ate a big container of
     Crisco shortening. They never got sick!! Another time they ripped up brand new carpet in the hall and completely destroyed the carpet padding. To this day I haven’t replaced it. I have had to replace a couch, though. One of the guys got hold of a sample jar of Spanish Red paint. When I first saw him I panicked thinking he was bleeding to death as the paint was all over his face, chest and front legs and he was sitting on my light blue couch. We have lost lots of things similar to other pet owners, and the food!!!! loaves of bread, cookies, fruit, etc. Amazing! Unfortunately the same dog that got the paint also just had to have emergency surgery to save his life from a sock that had caused intestinal strangulation. He was one sick boy. There will be no Christmas gifts this year, but we have the best gift of all….our dog is okay.

     posted by crazydoglady on 10-26-2008 at 4:29 pm

128. @ Christy:
     The only toy of any kind my dog hasn’t been able to destroy in 15 minutes or less is a racquet ball. They’re designed to take a lot of abuse, so they hold up pretty well. She’s popped a couple, but only after months. She likes to just hold’em in her mouth and chew, like she’s eating gum. Best if your dog’s mouth isn’t too wide though.

     posted by steph on 10-26-2008 at 6:21 pm

129. Many years ago my wife and I had a shepherd-collie mix named Josephine. She ate the end of a pretty large plastic spatula, and puked it up about three days later. She also ate the carpeting we tacked to the floor of her dog house–tacks and all. She puked the tacks up (probably three dozen or so) about a week later. I don’t know what happened to the carpet, and I don’t want to. This dog was also known to eat golfball-sized rocks, and could completely devour a huge knuckle bone in less than 15 minutes.

     We also had a Shih-Tzu named Ming the Merciless who consumed a gigantic plate of chocolate Krispy Treats one evening while we were out. He was lucky he didn’t die. About two weeks later (two weeks?) he…wait for it…puked up the whole mess on our living room carpet. We had to call in professionals to get rid of the stain.

     Gotta love ‘em…

     posted by Bustoff on 10-26-2008 at 7:42 pm

130. My Airedale jumped on the kitchen counter and ate my Dad’s dentures-
     on Memorial Day weekend of course.

     posted by Jody on 10-27-2008 at 10:12 am

131. My German Shephard mix has destroyed the following:

     All of my husband and my shoes;

     THREE couches (she completely tore them apart);

     The sprinkler system (she dug up the wiring and destroyed it);

     The lawn (I think she was trying to dig to china);

     Pillows;

     Socks;

     Coffe table;

     two screen doors;

     Patio furniture (two chairs and a lounge chair);

     Two dog crates;

     Two dog beds;

     Every bush in our yard has been completely trampled (she likes to hunt insects and lizards);

     Two remote controls (a third remote went missing but we have not found it yet); and

     Stereo speakers.

     I’m sure there is more that I just can’t think of at the moment. Yes, we still have the dog. Three weeks in doggie boot camp and a crate a shark couldn’t get out of has made for a wonderful dog!

     posted by Loren on 10-27-2008 at 12:29 pm

132. Growing up on a farm, I had many chances to see bizarre animal behavior. We had a calf that we named “Mikey”, because he ate everything, including the barn walls (wood). My sister once brought one of our horses into the living room because he seemed curious about it, and the first thing he did was poo. We had another horse that loved pickles, oranges and beer. We had an oriole that showed up about 3 springs in a row to follow around my father and whistle with him. We had a dog that would have to carry an empty frozen concentrated juice container whenever she accompanied me on a horse ride. I had a cat that would show his unhappiness with me (usually if I left for more than a day) by shredding the toilet paper to bits, which is better than my current cat that pees to show her unhappiness (usually if her cat litter gets below 4 inches, she’s a VERY finicky cat!!)

     posted by Lisalisancru on 10-27-2008 at 1:20 pm

133. My current dog, Zeppelin, can be quite the temper-tester. Ever since he was a wee puppy, he has eaten a variety of odd things, but seems to have a stomach like a steel trap, thank God. When he was a puppy he somehow got my cell phone (yeah, it was on vibrate and I had a hell of a time trying to find that sucker) and to this day, still does things that I cannot possibly fathom what was going through his mind when he did it.

     A few years ago when I moved to Denver, a neighbor complained he barked when I was at work. I got a nylon muzzle that allowed him the freedom to drink water, etc. and it was supposed to minimize barking…until the day I came home and couldn’t find the muzzle. My roomate and I looked for it everywhere, but we couldn’t find the thing. A couple of days later I found it, in a giant string of his poop.

     In the same place, he decided it would be fun to eat the carpet. It started with a little string, then turned into a giant bare patch. Imagine having to explain to people why the carpet is gone, because your dog is a carpet-muncher!

     posted by Bekah on 10-27-2008 at 2:16 pm

134. One of my cats once destroyed my iPod, wallet and messenger bag. He was going through a urinate outside the box “phase” and my messenger bag apparently looked like a good place to pee. He got one end of the bag but not the other. When I discovered his little accident I took everything out of my bag and tossed it in the wash…only to realize I left the ipod in there. There wasn’t much water in the washer by the time I realized it and the ipod wasn’t submerged, so I am taking the easy way out and blaming the cat.

     A day or two later I went to buy lunch and I realized that all my change was urine coated.

     Several years later Sam also, somehow, managed to urinate on a half of a copy of “The Waste Land.” I discovered that in class one day. As I am going over the poem with my class I catch a hint of cat urine. I discretly sniff the air, then all my stuff as I try to figure out if I am imagining things. I sniff the front half of the book and get nothing, but sure enough the back half of the book was soaked in urine. I don’t know how I managed to miss it the night before, or how he managed to get only half the very thin book.

     posted by Katie on 10-28-2008 at 12:17 am

135. I just went back and read some more of the comments. I have to respond to the declawing.

     Declawing a cat is the equivilant of amputating your finger at the first joint. It is a very painful procedure and America is one of the few (if only) countries where it is still legal.

     Even if you don’t intend for your cat to go outside, there is always a chance s/he could sneak out. I work at one of the oldest no-kill cat shelters in the country; I get so many calls of cats bolting out of the house on moving day, getting out a window when the screen comes loose, or sneaking out the door when an inattentive visitor comes by.
     You would be amazed at what a cat can do if s/he is scared or determined enough.

     Part of my job involves giving behavior advice to frazzled cat owners. We receive so many behavior calls where a cat has become more become more aggressive (since they no longer have their primary means of defense) or refuses to use the liter box (using the box becomes painful because the gravel gets in the empty sockets of their paws) after being declawed. Of course this is not always the case, but there is a good chance of it happening.

     There is simply no need to declaw a cat. A good scratching post will solve most problems, and the rest can be solved by keeping the cats nails trimmed, protecting furniture with double sided tape, or covering the cat’s nails with little caps, such as Soft Paws.

     posted by Katie on 10-28-2008 at 12:33 am

136. trish said: “They put the cat down and perform a procedure that is much more advanced. In a week, stitches should dissolve and come out on their own.”

     declawing is a pretty barbaric thing, actually. it is akin to removing a persons fingers to the first knuckle. it can lead to a cat “stepping up” it’s defense system and becoming more likely to bite. it can throw off their balance (imagine trying to walk with no toes left) declawing is illegal in most countries other than the US.

     some people go so far as to say that declawing is akin to mutilation. if you would define mutilation as inflicting ten different, painful amputations on an unsuspecting animal unable to understand why merely for ones own convienience, then i would, too.

     posted by CawCaw on 10-28-2008 at 1:46 am

137. I would have commented yesterday,but I was in the ER all day because my 85 lb boxer mix, Junior, stepped on my foot and twisted his back paw in an effort to get out the back door. it ripped off my little toe nail and cut into the toe. 3 x-rays, 1 tetnus shot, a round of antibiotics, 3 hours in the ER and $306 later, I still love my boy. He hasn’t even gotten close to my poodle mix Cassie who ate every one of my step Dad’s shoes, the corners off any book or album on the bottom shelf and three living room carpets.

     posted by Pat on 10-28-2008 at 11:13 am

138. I have a cat that once ran throughout my house with the power cable to my laptop hooked onto his tail. Sad part was that the computer was still on the end. Watching a 12 pound cat with a 5 pound computer attached to it try to jump onto a table is both hilarious and heartbreaking.

     posted by Someone on 11-3-2008 at 1:05 am

Comment