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by Graeme Wood
Forget Apple and Pilot Inspektor. If you really want to give your kid a hard time growing up, just pick from the following list.
1. BATMAN
Venezuelans are among the world’s most creative namers. In fact, according to their own government, they’re too creative. In September 2007, after hearing about babies named Superman and Batman, state authorities urged parents to pick their names from an approved list of 100 common Spanish monikers. Those conventional names (such as Juanita and Miguel) quickly acquired a patrician ring, ironically giving rise to more novel names, like Hochiminh (after the Vietnamese guerilla) and Eisenhower (after the president). There are also at least 60 Venezuelans with the first name Hitler.
2. ECLIPSE GLASSES
In June 2001, a total solar eclipse was about to cross southern Africa. To prepare, the Zimbabwean and Zambian media began a massive astronomy education campaign focused on warning people not to stare at the Sun. Apparently, the campaign worked. The locals took a real liking to the vocabulary, and today, the birth registries are filled with names like Eclipse Glasses Banda, Totality Zhou, and Annular Mchombo.
3. NAAKTGEBOREN
When Napoleon seized the Netherlands in 1810, he demanded that all Dutchmen take last names, just as the French had done decades prior. Problem was, the Dutch had lived full and happy lives with single names, so they took absurd surnames in a show of spirited defiance. These included Naaktgeboren (born naked), Spring int Veld (jump in the field), and Piest (pisses). Unfortunately for their descendants, Napoleon’s last-name trend stuck, and all of these remain perfectly normal Dutch names today.
4. VLADIMIR ASHKENAZY
The people of Iceland take their names very seriously. The country permits no one—not even immigrants—to take or keep foreign surnames. So what happened when esteemed Russian maestro Vladimir Ashkenazy asked to become an Icelandic citizen? Well, the government finally decided to make an exception. Vladimir Ashkenazy is now on the short list of approved Icelandic names.
5. YAZID
Imam Husayn ibn Ali is one of the holiest figures in the Shi’ite Muslim faith. In the 7th century CE, he lost his head on the orders of the Sunni caliph, Yazid, and the decapitation initiated the biggest schism in Islamic history. While the name Yazid remains common among Sunnis, it is disdained throughout the Shi’a world. The stigma attached to it is equivalent to naming one’s son Stalin or Hitler. Speaking of which…
6. ADOLF
Memories of death camps and fascism have kept parents from christening their kids Adolf for quite some time. But one unlucky youngster acquired the name in 1949. He was the son of William Patrick Hitler—the dictator’s nephew, who moved to America in the 1930s to fight against his uncle. It isn’t clear why William preserved the name, but his four sons (including Alexander Adolf Hitler, now 57) made a pact to never have children in an effort to stunt der Fuehrer’s family tree at its branches.
* * *
So, what’s the most “creative” baby name you’ve ever heard?
Before we moved, my son had twins in his class named John and Quincy. Yep, their last name was Adams.
posted by Donald on 11-29-2008 at 12:42 am
Twins named (and spelling) “Orangejello” and “Lemonjello”, pronounced, “OH RON GEL O” and “LE MON GEL O”
I also know of brothers, Sam & Sal…last name Minella
and of course, a Unique Christmas…
aren’t I the lucky one hehehe
posted by Victoria on 11-29-2008 at 12:52 am
Well heard of a guy once whose mother wanted to name him Lucius but misspelled his name on the papers and so he grew up named Luscious.
And there is the infamous girls name
Le-a pronounced Ledasha.
The ones that get me are not the really odd ones but when a family has a naming convention. I know a family that has (to date) had 12 kids all with J names. Mom and Dad both have J names as well.
posted by Patrick B on 11-29-2008 at 1:32 am
One of my best buds in the Navy was named Adolph. He was one of many awesome people I worked closely with, and he had no issues with his namesake.
I had a minor issue with a friend who named their daughter Kendall. Sounds too much to me like Ken Doll.
posted by Johnny Cat on 11-29-2008 at 1:38 am
My sons went to school with a boy named Romance, a boy with the first name of Snowleopard, and a girl named Abra, last name Cadabra. Not so much names as life sentences!
posted by Della on 11-29-2008 at 1:39 am
A friend of my ex’s named their kid Sisyphus. EVERYONE called the kid Syphillus. I also knew a girl named Winter, last name Green. Both parents would get hysterically angry if you bought the kid stuff like Wint O Green Lifesavers. Wierd.Especially since THEY started it!
posted by Della on 11-29-2008 at 1:42 am
I have friends that married called jack and jill , ironically they live on top of a hill which means they don’t really have to go up to fetch water.
posted by david on 11-29-2008 at 3:27 am
Wasn’t Mao planning to wipe out the tradition of naming people altogether, during the Cultural Revolution?
Instead, people would’ve just been given numbers.
posted by 00 on 11-29-2008 at 3:37 am
In college, I worked with a girl named Gurantha. Her mother had been eating potato chips when she was pregnant, and liked the word “guarantee” on the back of the bag. I wish I were making this up.
posted by MN on 11-29-2008 at 5:37 am
A friend of mine is a third grade teacher in Baltimore, and she had a student whose name is spelled “Shithead”…pronounced “Sh’ thead”.
My husband grew up with family friends named “Donald E. Duck”, “Harold Legg”, and “Richard Liquor”. Yes, truly!
posted by Dawn on 11-29-2008 at 5:38 am
I know twins named Harley and Davidson and another set Joseph Thomas and Thomas Joseph. At least the latter were TJ and JT…
posted by Jenn on 11-29-2008 at 5:40 am
I do not understand the trend that takes surnames and turns them into first names. Had a real hard time getting used to calling my friend’s little girl “MacKensy”, and although I know it’s commonplace now, still can’t quite get my head around it. Also know another family who named a boy Kevin, but insisted on pronouncing it Kee-vin. When he grew up, he named his boy after himself, but spelled it Keyvin, just so there would be no confusion.
posted by A. Nonymous on 11-29-2008 at 5:52 am
I once met a bank manager in Rantoul, Illinois named Joseph Kuhl. When I did a double take a teller just looked at me and said, “Yep. That’s his name.”
posted by Bill on 11-29-2008 at 8:15 am
I have a friend who named her daughter Abcde pronounced Ab-sid-ee. She thought she was so creative.
There is also a family from Chuuk who named their sons consecutively, starting with J1, then J2, J3…. and so on. I think there were at least five. Also Chuukese have a tendency to name their children after popular stars or titles. I went to school with a kid named Mel Gibson and knew a guy named Darwin Joker.
posted by Miss Nae on 11-29-2008 at 8:25 am
My name is ‘Cortney’. I’m the only white male I’ve met with that name. I’ve only seen a few females that don’t spell it ‘Courtney’.
Came from my grandfathers name, Cortland.
posted by CB on 11-29-2008 at 8:30 am
I work in an inner city school and have heard of students named “Shithead”, “Orangejello” and “Lemonjello”, but have never actually met them. Snopes addresses those names. Click on my name to read the article.
I have noticed, though, an ever increasing use of silent consonants placed seemingly randomly throughout the name.
posted by Jim on 11-29-2008 at 8:43 am
In my school there was a girl named I-Kella, and I don’t think I could even make that one up.
posted by BS on 11-29-2008 at 8:44 am
I girl in my high school was named I-Kella…
posted by BS on 11-29-2008 at 8:46 am
I also work in a school in an interesting neighborhood. One of my students had twin boys she named Da’mon and De’mon, I had a girl in class named StarBryta, and now I have twins Videoland and Sousaphone Vang.
posted by Keri on 11-29-2008 at 8:54 am
CB–I went to elementary school with a white male named Courtney. Different spelling, but I thought I’d tell you anyway. :)
Jim–my son’s middle name is Damiyan. The “y” was his father’s insistence, but there ya go. And I’m glad someone posted that Snopes link.
posted by Orange on 11-29-2008 at 9:00 am
The most interesting name I’ve ever head is Aquanetta pronounced aqua-net-ta. From what I understand she is a very self possessed business woman.
posted by Samuel on 11-29-2008 at 9:16 am
I have a grand uncle named O. Yup, just the letter O.
posted by Isabelle on 11-29-2008 at 9:29 am
CB - I when to college with a white male Cortney.
When I was growing up my pastor’s wife’s name was Cherry Pitt (her married name). I think I would have gone with the hyphenated form here :)
My best friend is a pediatrician who had a female patient named “Violence” - where the V was actually a Roman number 5!
ReCaptcha: Bronx mowgli
posted by Diana on 11-29-2008 at 9:32 am
I had a substitute once named Mrs. Curtain. Mrs. April Curtain. Her kids said that she should’ve named them Steel, for all those Steelers fans.
posted by Linda on 11-29-2008 at 9:43 am
I thought I was reading mental_floss, not Cracked.com
posted by Michelle on 11-29-2008 at 9:49 am
Know a boy whose name is Lee R Creel.
Spells the same forward or backward.
posted by Russ on 11-29-2008 at 10:03 am
My older sister’s name is Tymalaya (pronounced Tim-a-lay-a). She got SO MUCH CRAP when she was growing up! Now she’s in Internet Sales and no one EVER forgets her name and she thanks my mom every time she gets a paycheck because of it. My older brothers and I got crappy Irish names (my grandparents immigrated from Cork in 1947)
posted by Kathleen on 11-29-2008 at 10:09 am
I once heard that a celebrity (I forgot which) named their poor child Audio Science. As in, his middle name was Science. That’ll get the ladies, yeah?
posted by Melanie on 11-29-2008 at 10:35 am
I once worked with a girl named Camera. She said her mom was so high on painkillers when she was in labor (and she was a photographer) that Camera sounded reasonable.
I have met a woman named Summer Camp and her brother Winter Camp.
One of my classmates is named-I kid you not- Marijuana Bush. There is also a Soviet Threatt (pronounced three-t) lol
Oh, and an international student (Japanese) with a first name of Kittyporn.
Sigh.
posted by Pink Coat on 11-29-2008 at 10:36 am
not sure if it’s true but I heard about a couple from Denmark who weren’t allowed to name their child
Christophpher (with double “ph”)
?!
posted by Jim on 11-29-2008 at 10:44 am
I once babysat for a boy named Sunny. Middle name Rae.
posted by Erin on 11-29-2008 at 10:53 am
When I looked at my class rosters my first year teaching, there was a student with the name Betty Boop Silva. Thank goodness that she didn’t mind being called Betty because I could not have called her Betty Boop all year. My mom’s best friend named her son Sterling and her daughter Chyna (I think that’s the spelling) after popular wedding gifts.
There is one naming practice that makes sense to me - by way of the British - and that is giving your daughter or son mom or dad’s first name as the child’s middle name.
ReCAPTCHA - Galicia Marquand (not bad for one of those funky regal names)
posted by Kate on 11-29-2008 at 11:01 am
I once worked with a woman named Phyllistine.
I also knew a ‘D’ in college… never found out what it stood for.
Also in college, was acquainted w/ a Doug, he pronounced his name as ‘Duh Hoy’.
I saw the name ‘Lasagna’ in a few birth notices.
posted by Anonymous on 11-29-2008 at 11:13 am
Bobby Fischer took the Icelandic nationality and did not change his name.
posted by alfanje on 11-29-2008 at 11:15 am
I was supposed to be a boy and my name was going to be Jeronimo (after an uncle.) My dad also thought it would be cool to give me a couple middle names (Obeira, Mable, Allen). Lo and behold I was born a girl. So he took the J-O-M-A and added the French ending of QUE to make it more feminine. As far as I’m aware, I’m the only person named Jomaque.
posted by PoorlyNamedChild on 11-29-2008 at 11:37 am
I went to high school with a guy named Christian Blood.
A girl I knew in high school once knew a guy named Romeo Casanova.
And there was an episode of MTV’s “True Life” featuring triplets whose parents were clowns. The girls’ names were Holly, Candy, and Millie, and their last name was Graham.
posted by Jenn on 11-29-2008 at 11:37 am
I have a friend who’s last name is Fightmaster. I didn’t believe it was true until I saw his drivers license. He insists that his first son will be named “Ultimate,” hence - Ultimate Fightmaster. I think its BRILLIANT! completely true, by the way.
haha, recaptcha: Broad Supreme… wouldn’t that be a freaking hilarious name!
posted by kas on 11-29-2008 at 11:53 am
I knew a woman who named her baby girl “Labiana” which I consider to be needlessly cruel. I insisted on calling the child Ana.
posted by Alice on 11-29-2008 at 11:56 am
My first year teaching there was a student in my grade 6 class named Sailor-Moon.
posted by Andie on 11-29-2008 at 12:02 pm
These aren’t so bad, but my last name is Casper, like the ghost, my grandfather’s name was Dick Tracy, I have a cousin named John Arbuckle (garfield’s owner), and i had a great uncle named Elmo. I’ve never met anyone with too weird of a name, but i like the names like William Williams, Jonathan Johnson, Chris Christopher..
posted by Casper on 11-29-2008 at 12:33 pm
Unique Hunt and I used to work for the same company. Thank goodness I never met her. I’d have a really hard time keeping a straight face.
Holly Wood went to my high school.
posted by Pam on 11-29-2008 at 12:44 pm
I have a cousin who was once married to a man named Michael Jackson and another cousin who was married to a guy named Tom Kruse. Dinner reservations were always made under their wife’s name to keep from getting hung up on by suspicious restaurant hosts or hostesses.
Both of my cousins’ husbands were named prior to the real Michael Jackson or Tom Cruise being famous. I did go to school with a girl whose dad was named Dale Evans. He was named that after the female Dale Evans was famous. I wonder what school was like for him…
Of course there are the Duggars who have a show on TLC. All the kids and the father have “J” names. They have gotten a little creative though, as I imagine you might if you had 18 chldren.. One girl’s name, Jinger, is phonetically incorrect. The Duggars pronounce it “Ginger”, bit I rather like pronouncing it like it’s spelled, “Jing-er”. Sounds like either a circus clown or a stipper.
posted by bzzyb on 11-29-2008 at 12:56 pm
I dated a guy in high school with the name of Mike Hunt…I insisted in calling him Michael!! My parents snickered every time I mentioned his name.
posted by not a kidder on 11-29-2008 at 1:11 pm
My landlord in the house I used to live in was named Adolph. He was a real jerk, too. So the name fit him pretty well. :P
posted by Emily on 11-29-2008 at 1:22 pm
I once worked at blockbuster and there was a guy of asian decent that came in regularly with the last name of “The-Bang”. I really wish I knew the story behind it.
posted by someguy on 11-29-2008 at 1:32 pm
my husband’s great aunt’s name was Q.V. On her birth certificate, death certificate and gravestone (she died in the 70’s), it just said Q.V., and no one in the family knows what it stood for. The guess is that it stood for Queen Victoria.
posted by redhead on 11-29-2008 at 2:00 pm
When I was expecting, my husband and I went through many possible names. He loved the name Rahne (rain) for a girl after a Marvel character. I said okay.
It wasn’t until my sister in law pointed out five months into the pregnancy what her whole name would be that we decided against it.
Our last name is Coats.
We had a boy anyway. Conal Craig.
We end
posted by Lightlylilly on 11-29-2008 at 2:10 pm
My mom’s teacher in high school was named Lina Bartholomew, which everyone sung as “lina lou bartholomew” .. she was so excited to get married and changer her last name, and then she married someone with the last name Dean. Lina Lou Bartholomew became Lima Bean !
posted by lauren on 11-29-2008 at 2:12 pm
Well, there’s a girl who’s a couple years younger than me named Rock’n Anna Roll. She went to the same elementary, middle, and high school as me. I heard she carried it well.
As well has Bucky Buckmeier
and Joseph Joseph Joseph III.
Way to go, Satellite High School!
posted by Casey on 11-29-2008 at 2:15 pm
I went to high school with Honey Graham, Ivie Green, and Jon Arbuckle.
posted by R M on 11-29-2008 at 3:03 pm
Years ago I worked at a country club as a lifeguard. One of our duties was to answer the phone and page members to the booth as many were doctors. The only one we could hardly ever page without cracking up was a urologist named Dr. Dick Tapper.
posted by Wrongo on 11-29-2008 at 3:09 pm
I work at a school and we have a kindergartener named Willit Hardin. Poor kid is stuck with that for life.
posted by Amauriel on 11-29-2008 at 4:10 pm
I know a couple named Su (pronounced Sue) and Jesse. Fairly normal names, except Su is the man and Jesse is the woman.
posted by KerriH on 11-29-2008 at 4:11 pm
My mother told me one of the mothers on the ward where she was recovering after birthing me proudly named her child “Kodak”.
I personally had met a small child in a kindergarten I worked at who was named “Griselda”. I got the impression she had no idea (nor did her mother) what an unwieldy name that was. I can imagine she had long changed it by now.
posted by Dianne on 11-29-2008 at 4:26 pm
I also went to school with a guy named Mike Hunt.
posted by Bridget on 11-29-2008 at 4:26 pm
Working in L&D briefly (Labor and Delivery that is) we had a patient who spoke Spanish only and a doctor who spoke English only. When he gave the patient her baby girl, he told her the baby was a female. Lost in translation the patient repeated it back as FEE-MAL-A. She liked it and that’s what she named the baby.
posted by Thomas on 11-29-2008 at 4:27 pm
I got named Kiev…pretty sure I’m the only one around with at…and I’m hispanic!
Captcha: invested Manhat
posted by Igotstuck on 11-29-2008 at 4:29 pm
At my highschool we had a Christian Christensen and a Kris Kristofferson. They both played on the basketball team and Kris was 7′2″ and went on to play pro.
posted by Bear on 11-29-2008 at 5:01 pm
The majority of these names sound like something Bart Simpson would use when calling Moe’s! (”Amanda Hugnkiss, I need Amanda Hugnkiss.”)
posted by Sara on 11-29-2008 at 5:10 pm
There was a kid at the elementary school that I used to work at named Mr. Casino. Yes, his first name was actually Mr. - not Mister. Poor kid.
posted by Allie on 11-29-2008 at 5:12 pm
I have a cousin named Kathrine Zoland, named after her paternal great- grandfather, Zoland. And my other cousin named Xada. My aunt said she had a dream where my sister had a kid and named her Xada. I like unusual names, as I seem to have a very common one. There were six other Sara(h)s at Faulkner University.
posted by Sara on 11-29-2008 at 5:16 pm
My friend has twin boys named Jaxson and Carter. I don’t think she realizes those are president’s names but I am trying to convince her to name her next child Lincoln or something.
I also went to school with a Paige Turner and Shanda Leer.
The book Freakonomics has a whole chapter dedicated to interesting names and what happens to the people who posess them. I would highly recommend it.
posted by Linds on 11-29-2008 at 5:27 pm
One of my friends as a kid, Chris, had the last name Kringle.
And a guy I used to work with changed his first name to Harry when he became a citizen, problem is his last name was still Dong.
posted by Jerad on 11-29-2008 at 5:41 pm
No lie, the 2004 graduating class at OPRF had a Jack Daniels and Dom Perignon or “DP”! I graduated the following year. I wish I was making this up!
posted by normallynamed on 11-29-2008 at 5:46 pm
I once heard a story about a woman whose father wanted to name her Cindy. But when she was born, back in the ’60s, he was so hammered that he slurred and she wound up named Sydney.
I went to high school with a girl whose first and last name rhymed, Cheri Oteri style. I think there was also a girl named Unique, but she always went by Nique (pronounced Nikki).
posted by Kate on 11-29-2008 at 5:51 pm
One of the girls I used to work with was named Lasagne. Pronounced and spelled just like the pasta dish. Apparently her mom was watching TV while in labor, and a Chef-Boy-R-Dee commercial came on. It seems mom was a bit…erm…undereducated and thought that Lasagne made a fine name! And yes, she showed me her driver’s license…
posted by Alli on 11-29-2008 at 6:10 pm
I dated a guy whose name was Eustace, but everyone called him Robin. Last name? Hood.
I’m a teacher, and the names just keep getting more interesting the longer I teach. There was an Edward Ward, sisters named Pagan and Angel, LaShawn and LeShawn, also sisters, and currently I have a girl named Furious.
posted by crovenpaver on 11-29-2008 at 6:10 pm
Let’s see. In high school, I knew a Mary Lee and Teddy Herbert, which was pronounced Teddy A-bear. One of the previous graduates was Alicein (yes, just like that) who had the middle name Wonderland. I’ve heard of Toy Latree, Attila, and twins named Syphilis and Gonorrhea (the med students thought it would be funny, but then they also made a game of getting mothers to name their babies after them). My brother’s name is Thor, which my father swears is supposed to be for Thor Heyerdahl and not the superhero. I also know a family named Goodfellow who were almost named Iama,Shesa, Hesa, and Wesa.
posted by Sam on 11-29-2008 at 6:19 pm
Oh, and I guess I should mention my son’s middle name. Kirk. Yes, as in Captain.
I had his karotype done when I was pregnant, and the doc, being very cool, gave me a copy. The first 3 sets of genes spell out K I R K (actually, I thought it said kick but that may be due to the internal beating I was getting). Figured it was a sign. Fortunately we had already picked out a first name, else Kirk would have been it. Click on the link to see the actual karotype.
posted by Alli on 11-29-2008 at 6:21 pm
in 5th grade (1975 or so) there was a kid in my class named Frank Sinatra.
later i worked at a job where i had cause to read many birth certificates. i’ve forgotten so many - but here are some i can’t forget. honest to goodness truth on these…
Bubble-Up Ken (never got an explanation for that one)
Dementia Anasthesia (i HAD to ask the mother if she knew what that meant. she said she did - but it was clear she didn’t. she said she liked the sound of it and had picked it out before delivery.)
Baby Girl (the mother said that that’s what was on the baby’s bracelet and it just sounded good so she kept it.)
Thunder and Lightning (twin boys)
Aquanetta (a few, actually)
Latrina (as in ‘latrine’)
Stallion (the mother was a very sweet young woman from another country - Vietnam i think - i doubt she had any idea how rough it would be for him)
Phuk (several by that name. this one’s just a language thing. perfectly common in another country - not so good here.)
there are so many more, but that’s all i can think of now.
posted by monkey on 11-29-2008 at 6:41 pm
Wasn’t there a basketball player named Scientific Maps or something? Let’s not forget Dick Butkus, either.
posted by Babb on 11-29-2008 at 7:01 pm
Well Frank Zappa was famous for rough naming with a son named Dweezle and a daughter named Moon Unit.
When I was little I had this interesting hobby of reading the white pages before I went to sleep, ya i was a bizzar little kid. Anyways, I would look up the funniest names I could find.
I always enjoyed the last name Butts [the best of those was Billy Butts].
But my all time favorite was Sandy Beaches!
posted by Lily on 11-29-2008 at 7:02 pm
Oh there is also A kid who goes to my high school named E. Victor (as a first name). One day I asked him what the E. stood for (hoping for one of those awful, embarrassing names) and he said it didn’t stand for anything. His first name was just E. Victor. And there was even a dot implying abbreviation!
posted by Lily on 11-29-2008 at 7:07 pm
My friend had to do clinicals for nursing school in the birthplace at a hospital and someone named their kid King Overall Da’ Earth … i about died laughing when she told me that
posted by Sam on 11-29-2008 at 7:09 pm
I worked at a daycare for 3 years. Here’s a few:
(sisters)
Araya Sunshine and Autumn Sky
(brother and sister)
Stirling River and Emerald Sky
Princess Tatiana
Sky Lar
(a kid from my High School)
Dustin Breeze
posted by Evva on 11-29-2008 at 7:12 pm
I knew a set of siblings named Delicious, Desire, and Debonair.
posted by Chris on 11-29-2008 at 8:32 pm
I am a teacher in a rural high school in Central Georgia. I swear some of the parents in my area just pulled letters out of a Scrabble bag to name their kids. My favorite names though are those of current students:
sisters: Gorgeous and Precious
Princess
Sir’Anthony (we call him Sir, unless we are calling him out)
posted by Becky on 11-29-2008 at 9:23 pm
I knew two kids in elementary and middle school named James Bond and Nancy Drew… of course, I only “knew” them because everyone would laugh hysterically when they were called down to the office.
posted by Krystal on 11-29-2008 at 9:35 pm
years ago I had a coworker whose oldest son was named Byron
seemed normal enough for a boy
her youngest was named Byray … I had never heard that name so I asked if it was a family name
she said no her oldest was by RON and the other one was by RAY
I wonder if she ever had any more kids
posted by dee on 11-29-2008 at 9:50 pm
My mom’s dad, who ran away when she was little, had Austrian parents. They had the idea that it’s lucky to have a baby’s initials spell a word. His two sisters, Helga and Olga Fanthorpe, had initials spelling the words “H.A.L.F” and “O.F.F”. Olga’s middle name was Fanny, can’t remember what Helga’s was.
posted by K on 11-29-2008 at 9:51 pm
Jason Lee (an actor) named his daughter Pilot Inspekter. Why would you misspell a part of an already, ahem, questionable name?
Moxie Crimefighter - Penn from Penn & Teller’s daughter.
And of course, Jermajesty Jackson, Jermaine’s son. That one really irks me.
posted by Julie on 11-29-2008 at 9:53 pm
Shithead… pronounced Shatheed
posted by Beckie on 11-29-2008 at 9:55 pm
My mother wanted to be different when I was born so she spelled mine name funny. when I was little I hated it and wished that she could have just did it easy but I acutally lie it now.
I live in a small redneck town so weird names like bubba, bob, and any girl name ending with sue or jo are common place. But there is a family whose last name is Tyme and they have four girls, Spring, Summer, Winter and Autumn. But I also
posted by Kristlelyne on 11-29-2008 at 10:09 pm
Cody Schellong and Dalton Mantooth
posted by Monica on 11-29-2008 at 10:31 pm
No, kidding.
This is what I heard, but a social worker of mine that works in Philly said that he was in one of the houses and a woman called her daughter Vagina because she thought it sounded like a nice name. I couldn’t believe it. and maybe it isn’t true, but you never know.
posted by Scott on 11-29-2008 at 10:32 pm
people at my school(not the ahem *preppiest* school if you know what I mean) have names that are like, already words with letters added to them, or with silent e’s or apostrophes(with the occasional random capital letter) in them. one of my best friends’ name’s EurAsia, i know a Laquarious(he goes by Q) and a Te’Shayla, I also know a Keigayn(pronounced key-gan),and my name’s an almost unpronouncable Irish name:Kalairn. I had to have the student ID people respell m name because they thew an extra A on my ID.
oy vei
posted by kc on 11-29-2008 at 10:33 pm
My highschool English teacher admitted that she almost named her daughter Sherra Wensch.
posted by Skink on 11-29-2008 at 11:05 pm
My highschool English teacher admitted to almost naming her daughter Sherra Wensch
posted by Skink on 11-29-2008 at 11:07 pm
I also went to Satellite High school, knew a guy named Mike Hock, adn a teacher named Dick Potts. Go Scorps
posted by kat on 11-29-2008 at 11:31 pm
I too went to Satellite High School. I knew a guy named Mike Hock, and a teacher named Dick Potts. Go Scorps
posted by Kat on 11-29-2008 at 11:33 pm
i went to highschool with a kid named benjamin dover. everyone called him ben dover. he didn’t seem to think it was too funny.
posted by Aimee on 11-29-2008 at 11:35 pm
I know someone named Summer and thought, Wow, that is so cool, your parents naming you like that (her sister’s name is Rain)… she was born in July and figured that’s why she was named Summer…
It was only a few months after seeing her again that I get to know her last name.
Holiday.
posted by Valerie on 11-29-2008 at 11:39 pm
Le-a. According to the mother, “the dash don’t be silent.” The name is pronounced “Ledasha.”
posted by Lindsay on 11-30-2008 at 12:05 am
I know a woman who named her daughters Honey and Shooter Le’Rose. She’s an uneducated fat hick and wants everyone else to know it.
posted by Hannah on 11-30-2008 at 12:33 am
My father worked in an inner-city public school and would tell us some of the names he used to come across. Two that I especially remember were twin girls named Chlorine and Florine! Dad speculated that their mom heard the names and thought they sounded good…
posted by Susan Miller on 11-30-2008 at 12:37 am
My of my wife’s clients is named Tangy Bacon.
posted by Eric on 11-30-2008 at 12:44 am
Here in Mexico I have heard a few stories about boys called AnivdelaRev, whose parents took the name from the calendar on the day the kid was born.
On Nov 20th, many calendars has the abbreviation of the “Aniversario de la Revolución” (Revolution’s Aniversary)
posted by Erekosk on 11-30-2008 at 12:48 am
sisters: Paris, Passion, Precious, Peace
their mother: Peaches
posted by cross on 11-30-2008 at 12:58 am
I knew a December.. and before you ask, her birthday was in July. Also knew a January, a Tuesday and I worked with a Tarqueena.. sigh..
posted by worldsaver on 11-30-2008 at 12:58 am
family with EIGHT kids all begining with… E! Imagine that. I can’t remember all of them but it’s like Ellen, Elma, Elmer, Edward, and then some really out there ones.
posted by holly on 11-30-2008 at 1:33 am
I worked with a guy who is a graphic designer at a publisher who is called “five 17″ its not his birth name, he legally changed his name to five 17. He only answered to five 17, not to five or mr.17.
posted by Anthony on 11-30-2008 at 1:35 am
I met someone’s 3-year-old last year.. his first name was Cedar Moon. I don’t know the last name.
I also had a great uncle named Self. We pronounced it “Seff”. I always assumed this was a Lebanese thing so I never bothered asking.. but my grandpa (his brother)’s name was Joseph.
posted by catherine ann on 11-30-2008 at 1:43 am
I have known so many people who have rhyming or repeating names…
Christina Molina
Janae Guilmet (pronounced janay gillmay)
and my favorite repeating name…
Christina Christine Christiansen. Wow, her parents were original!
posted by Leigh on 11-30-2008 at 1:49 am
I went to college with a very nice young lady named Fonda. Her last name was Peters.
I also went to elementary school with a Senta Klautz.
posted by M on 11-30-2008 at 2:00 am
I know of a person whose child’s legal name is “Princess Fergie of the United States of America.” I have no idea which part of that would be considered the last name…”of the United States of America?” Also, a co-worker went to school with a guy whose last name was Harry. His first name was Dick. When written last name, first name, well….
posted by Jeremy on 11-30-2008 at 2:04 am
my brother’s name is Maximus
posted by Zaach Grooten on 11-30-2008 at 2:23 am
My mom went to school with Panda (sister) and Cocoa (brother), last name:
Head
It’s true, I’ve seen the yearbook. Apparently their mom knew the’d be teased no matter what their names were, so she went with what she really wanted. When I was about 14 and I’d hear the story about 50 times I told my mom it was a good thing Cocoa wasn’t named Richard. My mom thought that was hilarious!
I went to High School with Dayton Raper. My sister claims to know a Krista Chandelier.
posted by Heather on 11-30-2008 at 2:30 am
I worked at a staffing agency and my favorites were Aquanette, Fashionette (wtf, right?), NeKenneth and Pleasure.
posted by lhpg on 11-30-2008 at 2:41 am
my cousin, who is a huge sports fan, named his son ESPN. its pronounced espen.
posted by pat on 11-30-2008 at 4:06 am
There is like an urban legend here in Mexico, you see, almost for every day in the calendar there is a name of a saint or santo in spanish of that especific day, so it was common back in the days that the santo’s name of the day you was gave birth on, would became at least one of your names, but there’s a roumor that some people has been named after the november 20th calendar’s name, that actually is not a saint’s name, but the annyversary of the mexican revolution or aniversario de la revolucion mexicana in spanish, but in the calender is always abreviated so the name was “aniv. de la rev.”, nobody actually knows a guy named like that but always a friend of a friend does, hahaha so funny…
posted by Oscar Omar J.P. on 11-30-2008 at 5:09 am
I have a few, a girl I went to school with, Skye Knight, and her sister Stormy Knight. A lady I know April Skye. And my personal favorite a girl ,who’s dad worked with my dad, Lacie Dick!
posted by Jessica on 11-30-2008 at 7:50 am
I went to school with a guy named Michael Hunt. He insisted on Michael. He said his parents just have a good sense of humor.
posted by Jim on 11-30-2008 at 9:13 am
A recent girl’s name I saw… Malaria
posted by J S on 11-30-2008 at 9:58 am
M,
In HS (late 80s), some friends called me ‘Peter Fonda’ because of the [faux] leather jacket and aviator shades I wore a lot… more because I liked the style than him (although I do like him now)
At least the name wasn’t attached to my birth certificate! ;-)
posted by Anonymous on 11-30-2008 at 10:50 am
I worked in child support for several years and had Lemonjello and Oranjello in my caseload. Other favorites: Chianti (spelled any number of phonetic ways), Tequila, Syphilus, Female, and one of the losers I found in jail: Thor Zeus Nike.
Don’t forget Gonnorita, or the twins my partner went to school with, Crystal and Silver Ware.
posted by Mary Frances on 11-30-2008 at 11:00 am
I went to high school with a girl named Hunni. Last name Bear…
Hunny Bear. :) Cute name except she was a total WENCH!
posted by Last Name RED on 11-30-2008 at 11:24 am
my son has two first names, Ian Morgan.
And then my maiden name of Palmer. We have a regular last name of Parks. I have introduced him as the kid with 2 first names.
posted by Jeanne Parks on 11-30-2008 at 11:41 am
As a child growing up in Brooklyn, the neighbors had triplets named Faith, Hope and Charity - last name Moses
posted by RH on 11-30-2008 at 1:31 pm
i know a guy named Courtney but his little sisters name is Yentruoc Courtney spelled backwards pronouced Yen-Tren-C.
posted by Olivia on 11-30-2008 at 2:45 pm
My husband went to high school with a Lacy Nightie.
I have a good friend who named his daughter Amber Dawn. Poor kid. She’s been typecast as an adult entertainer.
-Pat, any chance your cousin (ESPN’s dad) is from Tennessee? If so, I think we might be related- Pretty scary, considering the possible common branch!
posted by JenC on 11-30-2008 at 3:34 pm
This year in teaching I have a 6th grader named Manny Ramirez and a 7th grader named Rob Lowe. Yes, Manuel and Robert picked their own nicknames.
(Also have an 8th grader named Happiness.)
posted by Liz on 11-30-2008 at 3:40 pm
My sister is a school teacher and has seen all sorts of interesting names pass through her classes - Religous ones like Prayer and Amen, interesting ones like Johnan and Mercy, and then just unfortunate names like Druzilla (which I think was the name of a goddess in some culture but it sounds awful).
There was also a bit story a few years back about some car enthusiasts wanting to name their child V8 (as in the engine size). I’m unsure whether they were allowed to in the end.
Also, my friend’s mother (last name Lyes) is called Trudy.
Tru for short - Tru Lyes.
posted by dangermouse on 11-30-2008 at 3:41 pm
I went to elementary school with Rose Glass. The name isn’t too crazy, but combine it with the fact that she was a pale, thin, shy little thing, and you couldn’t help but think that the slightest touch would break her.
One of my favorite weird celebrity kid names is “Moxie Crimefighter.” She’s the daughter of either Penn or Teller; I can’t remember which. When I heard it I was instantly jealous that my parents hadn’t thought of it first.
posted by Coaster on 11-30-2008 at 4:21 pm
i know someone named dusti rhodes
posted by kenz on 11-30-2008 at 5:40 pm
My mother says she went to high school with a girl named Iletta, which wasn’t terribly far from ordinary back then. At least until she married a guy whose last name was Pew.
posted by Eowyn on 11-30-2008 at 6:04 pm
“I have a friend who named her daughter Abcde pronounced Ab-sid-ee. She thought she was so creative. ”
Me too! It has to be the same person - who else would do that?! Do you live in Colorado by chance Miss Nae?
Also, I read a news article about a shooting in Texas - the victim was Cash Mo’Nae. Way to set your kid up to be a stripper, no?
posted by Julie on 11-30-2008 at 6:40 pm
I knew a girl named Daziah. I asked her mom about it. Apperently she had deju vu when she was prgnant again and thought in made a good name. Alas the mothers name was margarita.
posted by Tori on 11-30-2008 at 6:50 pm
I know someone called Hyde. Yet pronounced same as Heidi. Boy you ask? Nope - she’s a girl. Took me months to remember her name.
My parents spelt all of our names differently to the ‘norm’. For example the ‘y’ in mine. My brother only has one ‘l’ on the end of Russel etc. Not so odd now but at the time it was soooo strange apparently.
Also, my sister has a friend called Purdie whose mother’s name is Frith.
posted by Dayle on 11-30-2008 at 7:01 pm
I went to high school with a girl named Freya who claimed that she would have been named Thor if she were a boy. There’s also a local radio show hosted by Lars Larson.
posted by Hailey on 11-30-2008 at 7:02 pm
There was a kid at my school named Dennis-Peter, and one teacher was so frustrated that his mom added a silent hyphen that she would call him “Dennis Hyphen Peter”, I thought it was hilarious!
posted by Kelly J on 11-30-2008 at 7:25 pm
Most of these wacky sexual ones are urban legends! come on, people!
That said, I’ve seen some wacky names at some of my jobs:
Gelati Wong
King Kong
Edna (a guy!)
Precia and her sister Isis
Ruhermanna
and my favorite of all time:
Effin Linshitz
it just SOUNDS dirty! Try yelling it.
posted by Mare on 11-30-2008 at 7:29 pm
kat, didn’t know Mike Hock. but definitely knew mr. potts.
crazy dude.
and we had a dean at one point (and his dad taught at Cocoa High) named Mr. Hickey. His wife was Vicki Hickey.
posted by Casey on 11-30-2008 at 7:34 pm
# “Bobby Fischer took the Icelandic nationality and did not change his name.”
- Are you talking about Bobby Fischersdottir here?
posted by bobbbb on 11-30-2008 at 8:18 pm
At my daycare we have a boy named God and his sister is Goddess. The infant teachers refuse to call him God, so now he is Buddy.
posted by Courtnie on 11-30-2008 at 8:23 pm
Erin, while I feel bad for that kid, my sister Tabitha’s middle name is Rae, and I love it. I think it’s super pretty.
Somebody else also mentioned the tradition of giving a child a part of the parent’s name, and so on. My mom’s middle name is Marie, so is mine. My nephew Jayden’s middle name is Wesley, after my dad, and my sister, before she found out she was having a boy, wanted to use my mom’s first name Suzanne as her baby’s middle name. We’re not very creative.
As for weird names, I work in a hospital smack dab in the middle of an inner city. I’ve heard and/or read of names like Queen, Precious, Princess, Quantella, Tawanda, Sheniqua, Mercedes, and we recently had an Echo… now that I think about it, we had a girl with an apostrophe and the number 1 in her name (which was actually pronounced as part of the name)… I’ll be damned if I can remember that one though. But my all time favorite, which my sister and I laughed over for days, was a girl named Shamone. Every time I heard it, I started singing Michael Jackson’s “Bad.”
We also have a doc at the hospital who’s name is Harry Hoare. Why would you do that to your child?
posted by Cassie on 11-30-2008 at 8:47 pm
well the weirdest name i ever heard was of a woman who, after her baby was born, was still woozy from the medicine and stuff and when she saw the bracelet on her baby’s wrist that said ‘female’, she read it ‘feMOLLIE’, and that is what she named the kid…spelled Female!
posted by Tera on 11-30-2008 at 9:07 pm
I work at a school and I get to hear all kinds of unusual names. Some of my faves are: Megan Regan, El Shaddai (first name), and Fort Benning (also a first name, but we call him Benny).
Growing up, I knew girls named Ebony White, Summer Winters and April Mae Joon. I also knew twins named Champagne and Chandelier.
But my all time hands-down favorite name is Trent Lott’s mother’s name - Iona Lott. She goes by “Honey”, though.
posted by kati on 11-30-2008 at 9:47 pm
Oh I almost forgot, we also had a student at the school whose last name was Lamb. So, of course, her first name had to be Precious.
posted by kati on 11-30-2008 at 9:49 pm
a kid on my brother’s football team was named just’n thymes
posted by nobody on 11-30-2008 at 9:56 pm
When I used to work in a video department at a grocery store, there was this Asian man who came in whose name was, and I kid you not-
Hong C. Dong
I laughed every time he came in.
posted by Taylor on 11-30-2008 at 10:00 pm
The local soccer coach is Richard Held, and yes, he goes by Dick. Really nice guy, but seriously?
posted by PT on 11-30-2008 at 10:08 pm
Neighbors named their daughter Virginia. People thought it was cruel since their last name was Hole. But they were very sweet people and I’m sure they didn’t think like that so the thought never occured to them.
posted by Maggie on 12-1-2008 at 12:15 am
I knew a girl named Baby. That’s all.
Also an Anita Funk. Oh, well……….
I named my first granddaughter Ashley Dawn, she was born at dawn and had ashblonde hair. My daughter changed her name, but her middle name is Ashley.
posted by sandy on 12-1-2008 at 12:56 am
my eldest, girl, is Wrestley. From the word wrestle..we meant her to hold on and not be a quitter. She’s living up to her name. When she was just a week old and friends asked about her name and we tell them, they’d say, “We are not asking how you did it!”
2nd girl is Myrrh Raquel because she was our miracle baby. She had a twin cyst. My left ovary, together with the cyst as big as the fetus, ruptured and was removed when she was 5 months inside my womb.
posted by c5 on 12-1-2008 at 3:55 am
About 20 years ago I knew a girl who had an unwanted pregnancy and consequently named the girl Josephine Nocephya (as in “no safe”). I think this really was the spelling.
posted by Marc on 12-1-2008 at 6:40 am
I knew a girl in elementary school who was four or five grades below me who had a name that was sixteen letter long and at least six Qs. It was pronounced Qwa-nee-qee-uh.
I’ll never remember how to spell it…
posted by Taryn on 12-1-2008 at 7:33 am
i used to go to japanese school on the weekends and i knew three sisters in the first grade, the oldest was name Mi, the middle child was named Ami, and the youngest and by far the saddest girl was named Beach. while Mi and Ami can easily pass for japanese name but Beach? My thoughts always go out to her when i read articles like this.
posted by foy on 12-1-2008 at 7:40 am
Tetra, Tambre, Tenor and Treble-children of a cellist.
posted by Sounds tonal on 12-1-2008 at 9:46 am
Recent immigrants, I believe from Indonesia, named their daughter Soxping — pronounced “shopping” in honor of their new homeland.
Also, Firoze Gaslightwala. The surname is Indonesian, accoring to Google research.
posted by Capitalism rules on 12-1-2008 at 9:52 am
Some names I’ve come across at work: John Deer, Mary Christmas, Richard Nixon and Elizabeth Taylor…
Then someone in my town is named Major Wood. From what I hear, his parents were a couple of stoners.
posted by Jen on 12-1-2008 at 10:09 am
Went to school with a guy named Warren Peace. Har har.
Also knew some stoners who named their kid “Leafpiper”. Not sure on the spelling, but thats how its pronounced.
posted by Mikki on 12-1-2008 at 10:27 am
Read a story online recently about a 19-year-old guy in the UK who legally changed his name to something like Captain Awesome More Powerful Than Batman Superman Spiderman Wolverine Combined. Yeah, it’s all fun and games until you have to start filling out apartment leases, marriage licenses, and birth certificates.
I went to high school with siblings Echo and Talmidge. There was also a Witeck (pronounced V-Tech).
My dad went to school with twins Marling and Darling (gag), and an unfortunate girl with the last name Kotex.
My friend’s daughter is Persephone Rose.
And my poor sorority sister… Her mother is Bonita Dick. What did she name her child? Anita. That’s just mean.
posted by Chelsea on 12-1-2008 at 10:49 am
I saw someone on Wheel of foutune, her name tag clearly read Monique, when Pat called her that she said, “No,
it is pronounced Mon-ah-que.
posted by Terry_in_dtw on 12-1-2008 at 10:49 am
I know some kids named Oranjello and Lemonjello….during her pregnancies, their mother had cravings for, respectively, orange jello and lemon jello…naturally, that warranted the naming convention.
posted by Jennifer on 12-1-2008 at 11:02 am
I used to work with a guy named Dick Gay. No joke. And he refused to be called Richard. Super nice guy. A little strange, as you might imagine, but still.
posted by Jennifer on 12-1-2008 at 11:18 am
My jr high school teacher was named Wanda Fonda.
posted by Julia on 12-1-2008 at 11:23 am
My cousin is named Jaffrey (notice the A). When his parents divorced and his mother decided to take her maiden name back, he wanted to take the name too - until it was pointed out that he would be “Jaffrey Jeffrey” for the rest of his life.
posted by Bri on 12-1-2008 at 11:23 am
i knew a girl in high school named (might not be spelling it right) Tahjma Hall. I always thought the first part was pretty, but a little silly all together.
posted by maylee on 12-1-2008 at 11:24 am
I wanted to give my children different names, and my husband agreed (he is plain ole’ Jason).
Our first son is Ashdon. Not so bad. My other son, however…my husband didn’t know how to spell what I wanted. I wanted “Kaelum” (it’s a family thing, pronounced “Kay-lum”) and we could call him Liam for short. A rough delivery and surgery later, I woke to find “Kailiam” on the birth certificate. Haven’t changed it yet :/
My youngest, a girl, is named Serenity.
posted by Blah on 12-1-2008 at 12:02 pm
I went to high school with a Destiny Knocks. And my best friend once met a woman named Featherly Breast.
posted by NEM on 12-1-2008 at 12:09 pm
Okay, true story. I worked for a national chain of childrens shoe stores in the early 1990’s. In the Bridgewater Commons Mall in Bridgewater, NJ. We had to take the names & addresses so we could send coupons and such. I had a regular customer who had twin girls. Their names were Jenna & Talia. Nice names, until you call them together. I couldn’t help laughing out loud at that & they got really upset with me, because they never were called out on it before.
Also, there is a kid where I live now called PXWPEXWSSHN. Apparently it is Salish.
posted by qt314159265 on 12-1-2008 at 12:13 pm
There’s one biblical name that’s about as popular as Adolf or Yazid: Judas.
posted by Jerry on 12-1-2008 at 12:22 pm
Okay, enough with the “jello” postings. Just stop. Not only has Snopes decisively debunked them as urban myths, nobody who claims to know one has ever been able to produce proof, and the entire story is based on not-so-subtle racism against black moms as less intelligent. Ditto for “Vagina,” “Syphilis,” “Gonorrhea,” etc. If you really know someone by that name, supply proof or stop spreading bigoted myths.
If you want bad baby names that are actually investigated and confirmed, Google “Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing.” It’s no longer updated except in the letters column, but it’s a lengthy wealth of terrible names. Better yet, the keeper of the site added her own snarky comments after each, many of which are spit-take funny.
posted by Southern Buddhist on 12-1-2008 at 12:40 pm
I´ve lived in Venezuela most of my life and believe me, those people NEED some sort of guidance in the naming department. Honest to God names I´ve heard:
- Hello Kitty
- Usnavy (as in US Navy)
- Usmail (can you guess that one?)
- Marjoly with daughter Jolymar
- Yornick, Yuribitsey (not so much names as just random assortment of letters)
My parents went with the letter names… All our names start with G and have seven letters:
- Gustavo
- Gonzalo
- Gabriel
- Galiana
On the upside? I only know of one other person with my name (and that mother of that little girl actually called my mom to ask for permission before using it…)
posted by GTT on 12-1-2008 at 12:53 pm
Ok, so my given name is Sarah Alisabeth (pronounced Elizabeth), but my parents always indented to, and have since, called me Betsy. I have broken many a teacher by confusing the bejeezus out of them.
I have also met a woman named Uenick (or something very similar to this), as in Unique. Two gentlemen named Juius Maximus IV, and John Wayne III. Both dudes took my giggles very well. The woman did not.
posted by Betsy on 12-1-2008 at 1:19 pm
I have a friend who works for a Korean company. Most of the employees are Korean (no kidding) and they tend to pick their own “anglo” sounding names. I kid you not, one of the workers in the next office is none other than Jurassic Park.
posted by T.J. on 12-1-2008 at 1:37 pm
My best friend dated a guy named Gospel, he had a 7ish tall mohawk. His brother’s name: Promise.
posted by Cassie on 12-1-2008 at 1:38 pm
I know a Tequila. I also know a Frenchye and an Aonesti (pronounced Honesty).
My mom did an xray on a woman at her job named Marshmallow. I went to school with a boy named Cleveland Brown V. (we live in Cleveland, Ohio)
posted by Shanise822 on 12-1-2008 at 1:44 pm
Its so interesting how these urban legends of uneducated urban dwellers or hicks become so widely spread and shared. Another Female or Oranjello or Sh’thead story and I might scream. There are enough truly tragic names that we can give up the urban legends. For example, I went to school with or taught one of the following:
Kawaki, Antwan, Dominick’, Denagetrois, To-nay, Perhaps…
posted by Skeptic on 12-1-2008 at 1:46 pm
went to elementary school with a Justin Case. Girls in my middle school named Peaches and Princess oh and there was the Sutton family: jimmy sutton 1, jimmy sutton 2, jimmy sutton 3, jimmy sutton 4, and jimmy sutton 5.
posted by teresaisamazing on 12-1-2008 at 2:10 pm
To the Orangejello and Lemonjello doubters. My wife does medical transcription. She once told me she heard the names in a dictation from a genetics lab. I didn’t believe her. A few years later I was watching a show on Discovery Channel about the annual twins festival in Twinsburg Ohio. They talked to a pair of teenaged girls who said they loved coming to the festival every year because they get a chance to see all of the friends they’ve met over the years, like - you guessed it- Orangejello and Lemonjello. I’ll never doubt my wife again.
Also, I used to work with t guy who sweras he went to college with a guy named Harry Quim.
posted by crocostimpy on 12-1-2008 at 2:10 pm
In middle school I knew a girl named Pebbles.
posted by crazierthansome on 12-1-2008 at 2:23 pm
There was a kid in elementary school from Russia named Ifim Lipshitz. When his name was called during roll, we’d whisper, “Wipe it off”. Hey, it was elementary school.
posted by Phil on 12-1-2008 at 2:32 pm
My father loves to tell these stories:
Bill Lear, founder of the Lear Jet Corporation, named his daughter Shanda.
Shanda Lear… chandelier… don’t belive me? Check out Wikipedia… :)
Also, my dad worked with Dr. Red Butts and Dr. Harry Butts at the Mayo Clinic in 1966.
posted by Jeannie on 12-1-2008 at 3:04 pm
dusk and dawn
twin girls from south dakota
posted by shelly on 12-1-2008 at 3:10 pm
A friend of mine’s last name is Tuls… her parents almost named her Jenna. That would make her Jenna Tuls.
My best friend from Middle School had the middle name Prince, her dad’s first name.
I had a boyfriend in high school who’s next door neighbors were huge Star Wars fans and changed their last name to “SkyWalker” and named their first son Luke (no joke, I met him).
I worked with a Michael Jordan.
Here’s some more:
-NathAngel
-Long Li Dong
-Barbara Bush
-Nita Pun
-Twins names Krista and Krishna
-Twins Carolyn and Marilyn
-Family with S.. Sarah, Susan, Sandra and their dog Scarlett
posted by Steph on 12-1-2008 at 3:12 pm
I knew a kid named Eric T. Dyck.
posted by D Hue on 12-1-2008 at 3:13 pm
My sorority sister was almost named Jenna… her last name is Tuls.
posted by Steph on 12-1-2008 at 3:14 pm
The lunch lady at my school was named Anita Bishop. One time someone called for her and the secretary thought the person was saying “I need a Bishop”
posted by Amy on 12-1-2008 at 3:15 pm
My cousin Starr (another name I absolutely abhor) just had a daughter last month.
She named her Dreamylove Story.
First name Dreamylove middle name Story.
I kid you not.
posted by hilly on 12-1-2008 at 3:30 pm
The actress who named her kid “Audio Science” is Shannyn Sossamon, of “A Knight’s Tale” fame… I think if you click on my name, it’ll take you to the wikipedia page for her…
posted by Laura on 12-1-2008 at 3:55 pm
I had a male cabbage patch kid that was named Kyle Adolf or Keith Adolf. I don’t remember it’s first name, but I remember the middle name was Adolf and my mom was not pleased. Thinking back on it today, I am a little pissed to think that they would not realize how offensive that name would be to a lot of people.
posted by KS on 12-1-2008 at 3:59 pm
What, no ME majors from Georgia Tech? There is a J. Erskine Love building on campus. The rumor was that he really wanted the building named after his wife, Gay. The school said no to a “Gay Love” building. I thought this was a Tech legend until I saw an article about J. Erskine in the alumni magazine…and his wife’s name really is Gay! Talk about keeping your maiden name!
posted by Anne on 12-1-2008 at 4:26 pm
I went to school with a Summers Mann. There was a girl in my calculus class named Toshiba. The worst name I have ever seen is Aryan Destiny or Justice or something. It was on a hospital’s birth announcement website.
posted by Kathryn on 12-1-2008 at 4:48 pm
At my Grad party there was a guy named Ugly He showed me his drivers license! Who names their kid Ugly?
I have a friend who named his son Brew
His last name is Tallady
Brutality
I told him if he has a daughter he should name her Fey.
posted by Jimi on 12-1-2008 at 5:03 pm
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the New Zealander girl who had her name legally changed to something very plain, like Susie, after petitioning the court to change her birth name, which was Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.
posted by Norkio on 12-1-2008 at 5:08 pm
I’ve got some good ones. All are real, no joke.
-Brothers named Doug and Phil Updegrave.
- A woman named Robby Hood.
- My Mom went to school with a man named Barbara.
- A girl from school named Raven Hawk.
- And the worst I’ve ever seen, a girl that worked in a fast food restaurant named “Shittaria”.
Wicked bummer…
posted by Colin on 12-1-2008 at 5:08 pm
I met a woman with twin girls, called Scarlett - and - yes - Ohara.
Poor kids.
posted by Smiling Impala on 12-1-2008 at 5:11 pm
Worked with a girl named Robin Hood and a guy named Forrest Akers. Go figure
posted by Mickey on 12-1-2008 at 5:21 pm
I knew twins names Venus & Cosmos and Justin & Justine Thyme.
A girl in Jr High was named Liberty Bell.
I met a girl once name Holly Woods (Do you want you daughter to star in Porn?)
But the best was Rosey Assman (Cruel Parents)
posted by E on 12-1-2008 at 5:31 pm
I used to go to school with Charlie Brown, and a guy at my work is named Tony Orlando.
posted by Eric on 12-1-2008 at 5:37 pm
To Crocostimpy: again, you only have second-hand proof. You think if the Discovery film crew had actually MET the Jello twins, they wouldn’t have them on camera? Instead, they took the word of two teenage girls — not very convincing evidence.
Snopes says that, in fact, NO birth certificate bearing those names has ever been registered in ANY of the fifty states nor in any US territory.
posted by Southern Buddhist on 12-1-2008 at 5:50 pm
I went to high school with a girl named “Pepsea”, I went to college with “Stormy Weathers.”
A woman at my company is named “Lemonade” and she has sisters named “Strawberry” and “Cherry.”
My dad wanted to name me “Dawn Star” - I’m glad my mom talked him out of it.
One of my old customers was “Marvin Martin,” but we called him Marvin Martian in the office - so often one of the employees called him that on a courtesy call.
What about the Indian name “Dikshit?” Sometimes they spell it Dixit, but it’s still pronounced the same.
posted by Juliana on 12-1-2008 at 6:01 pm
wow, lot of crazy names… i’ll throw mine in too:
my cousin, Johann Sebastian Bach (he goes by John, but I loved telling his friends his full name when we were growing up)
posted by tiffany on 12-1-2008 at 6:05 pm
i had a class once with a girl named Latrina. I had to look up when I heard it, I thought it was a joke or a mispronunciation. no one else seemed to notice, which is probably for the best.
i was born on Friday the 13th, and my mom wanted to name me Fortunada. Luckily, my dad convinced her to name me after two Jane Austen novels.
posted by m on 12-1-2008 at 6:46 pm
My best friend has cousins-in-law, twins named Hunter and Fisher.
My kid sister wanted to name her children Russia and Korea (she thought they were pretty).
My brother likes pope names and is thinking about naming his kids Innocent and Pius.
At my church, there’s a Hey Jude and his brother, Rocky. No kidding.
posted by MJ on 12-1-2008 at 7:31 pm
Best friend of mine could not figure out what to name to give his son… so he came up with Matthew Richard Joshua Damien… figured it was cool enough to have his initials be M.r. J.D.
posted by _R_ on 12-1-2008 at 8:29 pm
My Mom-in-Law named all 8 kids with names starting with ‘R’. All have fairly common names except for my hubby-Radford. His sister named her daughter Arenda Star…a combination of Renee ( her) and Adam (the dad) and her desire for the baby’s future. I also used to work with a girl named Turquoise.
posted by Kathy on 12-1-2008 at 10:54 pm
I used to work with a woman named Kitty Ran.
posted by Andrea on 12-2-2008 at 12:41 am
When I worked in the records department at a bank I saw a ton of wild names. The craziest ones would be male names that had been poorly converted to female names - Johnica, Walterene, etc.
In my 5th grade class we had a Winter Frost, daughter of Jack Frost.
I also met a man named IX (pronounced nine). I think that’s the craziest one I’ve heard.
posted by Briana on 12-2-2008 at 2:08 am
Beleive it or not here are some first names that you will find in Zim.
Silence
Norest
Takemore
Takesure
Pride
After the elections we had names like
Free and Fair (twins)
Rerun…
The author of this article should go Zim and find all this bizzare stuff
posted by Giverson on 12-2-2008 at 7:01 am
I guess you know all Buddhist.
posted by crocostimpy on 12-2-2008 at 8:40 am
Interestingly, CB, I know a female Cortney and a male “Kurt,” pronounced “Cort.”
posted by Lindsey on 12-2-2008 at 9:17 am
I once babysat for a woman named Tracy Tracy (it was her married name). Also knew a Sharron Charron (again, married name and yes they are both pronounced the same way). I also went to school with a girl named Isa Swan and knew twins named Miriam and Mairim. Currently I’m trying to convince my boyfriend that our firstborn son shouldn’t be named Marcus, which would be a perfectly lovely last name if it didn’t rhyme with his last name - Dvareckas.
posted by Jen on 12-2-2008 at 11:04 am
Some years ago I worked a job that required periodic govt reporting. Reports were mailed to Victoria Lillicrap. I always wondered if this moniker had been created to prevent people from reaching the real recipient of the reports.
posted by jj on 12-2-2008 at 11:27 am
i went to high school (20 years ago) with an angelo archangelo mastrangelo.
and my son has a friend named baltaj mahal - taj mahal for short.
recaptcha: wholly strange. yes. yes, it is.
posted by moccasin on 12-2-2008 at 11:33 am
My cousin named her son Ripken… as in Cal…
and my sister’s birthmother legally changed her name to Sonshine once she became a born-again Christian.
not quite as glaringly terrible as the others– just off enough to make you raise your eyebrows but not enough to kid around with the person about it.
posted by caryn1202 on 12-2-2008 at 1:00 pm
I was playing outside with my friend’s kid, Kai, and my neighbor was walking by. He asked “oh he’s rather new, what’s his name”. “Kai.” “Oh really? That was our second choice for our baby’s name.” His first choice was Eightythree.
posted by CJ on 12-2-2008 at 1:05 pm
Oh another one. My friend went to school with an African girl whose name was pronounced Shah-theed’, only the teacher had a hard time knowing that since it was spelled Shithead.
posted by CJ on 12-2-2008 at 2:06 pm
My former boss is Charles Brown. He was born a couple of years before Peanuts started and has always gone by Charlie.
posted by MrsHashBrown on 12-2-2008 at 2:25 pm
Since my husband’s last name is Brown, it immediately eliminated names from the list when I was pregnant: Charles, James, Jackie, Jackson, Georgia, blah, blah, blah.
My ex-husband’s last name was White and he actually suggested Snow if we ever had a little girl. . .I’m so glad I didn’t reproduce with him.
posted by MrsHashBrown on 12-2-2008 at 2:28 pm
I knew a guy named Kevin McCool. Cool!
I am a NICU nurse and every other teenage girl’s baby is named Destiny. We also get a lot of Damiens.
A little rant: We named our son a unique family name and a nurse I worked with told me how much she liked it. A couple of years later she no longer worked with me but delivered her baby at my hospital and she named her baby my son’s name, and the WORST part, she acted as if she didn’t remember that it was my son’s name! UGH!
posted by Republic of Texas on 12-2-2008 at 7:19 pm
I know a guy with the last name, Ding. He hates it when people go “Ding, ding, ding!” but apparently they just can’t resist.
“Ding!”
posted by Kiwi on 12-2-2008 at 11:34 pm
I know a Lollypop Rainbow and her sister, Jellibean Skye.
At work, I heard the names of two siblings: Galaxy and Exodus. Then there was Janelaliesheniqualailie…
posted by Delilah on 12-3-2008 at 12:21 am
there is a musician out there who was named Jesus Christ Allin, but most people know him as GG Allin. GG did not walk in the footsteps of Jesus, he was quite the sicko. Google him if you must.
posted by Tim on 12-3-2008 at 10:24 am
There was a Dimples at my son’s preschool. I asked the teacher…”yes, it’s on her birth certificate.”
I once babysat for a woman named Juniper Sunshine.
I know a man named Courtenay.
posted by Orange on 12-3-2008 at 4:21 pm
I’ve heard of one woman named Crystal Chandalier.
I also heard about this family in Texas with the last name Hogg. They had two daughters; Ima and Yura (not sure ’bout the spelling on that last one)
I know parents are trying to be creative when they come up with these crazy names, but seriously, you’re just being cruel to your kid.
sorry, southern buddhist, GET OVER IT!
posted by sgt. pepper on 12-4-2008 at 12:48 am
An interesting fact - ‘Suparman’ is a perfectly traditional Javanese name.
posted by yen223 on 12-4-2008 at 7:02 am
My ex-wife knew a woman in college named Alison Wonderland. The kicker part was that was the woman’s married name. Her maiden name was Alison Snow.
posted by Jimmy on 12-4-2008 at 4:47 pm
How about
Frederick Crotchfeldt
Dapitti Panda
Forest Flamingo
Pena Culotte
I. Maude Picklesimmer
Goldie Troutwine
Stressoir Altimus Maximus
Buster Heuman (pronounced hymen)
Ima Rose Bush
Gassy DeVille
posted by Diane on 12-6-2008 at 4:58 am
my teacher once had a student named Candy Cane.
posted by Sayaka on 12-7-2008 at 10:15 pm
When I was in tenth grade, I read in the newspaper about this criminal named Cletus James Babies.
posted by Sara on 12-7-2008 at 10:45 pm
I’ve heard of a guy named Harry Balls from Balls Creek. I don’t understand why parents feel that it is a good idea to do this to their kids. I also met a girl named Crystal Ball. Not related to Harry.
posted by Joe on 12-7-2008 at 11:45 pm
Funny reading these because when I was in elementary school there was this boy that liked me (never understood because as a kid I treated boys like crap and still do! thanks baby for sticking with me for so long!)anyway his name was General Canon II! and his Grandfather was Major Canon III! seems the family had military aspirations but that never happened for him though…
posted by Brianna on 12-8-2008 at 4:38 pm
Funny reading these because when I was in elementary school there was this boy that liked me (never understood because as a kid I treated boys like crap and still do! thanks baby for sticking with me for so long!)anyway his name was General Canon II! and his Grandfather was Major Canon III! seems the family had military aspirations but that never happened for him though…
and there was a girl(an old friend) and her name was Equasia(ee-qway-zha)
posted by Brianna on 12-8-2008 at 4:50 pm
we had a customer in our office named “asdawn endsthenbeginsday” on her driver’s license
posted by daphne on 12-8-2008 at 5:05 pm
I went to school with a Krystal Dyk and also a really nice asian guynamed Harrison Wang, AKA Harry Wang. I was also premanently mad at my mother for giving me a french spelling in an english province. My name is Emillie and for all of Elementary school I was known as EE-MEH-LEE. Drove me completely nuts! Luckily only two people from my Highschool graduating class remember the nickname; although they presist in using it.
posted by emillie on 12-8-2008 at 11:05 pm
00, in the kids book “The Giver” people are grouped together by the year they were born in. They’d be, like, number twenty-three and so on. I remeber there were these celeb who named their kids Denim, Reignbow, and Kyd. All seperate celebs, though.
posted by Sara on 12-12-2008 at 2:32 pm
I am willing to admit that my family comes from a small, small Island nation– where unconventional names are the norm.
My Uncle: Smiley
My Cousin’s Middle Name: Tweedy Bird
Other Cousin: Starski
Other Cousin: Cloud (brother of Starski, if I recall correctly)
Other Cousin: Xenophon
Other Cousin: Storm (boy)
Other Cousin: Spyce (boy, brother of Storm)
Other Cousin: Skye (boy, brother of Storm and Spyce)
Other Cousin: Whisperlynn
Other Cousin: Devine (male)
Other Uncle: Morningstar (yes, one word)
Other Uncle: Saturnino
Thankfully, my parents lacked the requisite creativity and gave me the dullest name they could imagine– plus a snazzy ethnic middle name I could use to my advantage!
posted by I Can't Believe They're My Relatives on 12-13-2008 at 10:17 am
Having a blessing in the family we choose the name of our child the best name we that we like.The name that he/she could bring until the end of hi/her life.
posted by Baby names on 12-15-2008 at 7:33 pm
I had a teacher in high school named Misty Funk. I always thought it was odd. She was fabulously eccentric too. :)
posted by Christine on 12-22-2008 at 2:24 pm
My last name is Bohnert. And it’s pronounced boh-ner. As you can imagine, it was not fun in school
posted by Anonymous on 12-23-2008 at 10:39 pm
My parents were friends with a family named Bugg. They named their daughter “Ima June”.
We also had a dentist named Dr. Payne
posted by D. Ann on 12-26-2008 at 2:50 pm
Just remembered this one:
We had a customer at one business I worked at whose last name was “Snyznyk”
(pronounced Sniz-nick). We always thought he should buy a vowel!
posted by D. Ann on 12-26-2008 at 2:53 pm
Knew of twins named Leather and Lace (not sure if Lace was a Lacey or not).
The youngest of many children at my school was named Omega Finola. A summer camp friend was named Wonton, not kidding.
Regale, Liberace (an American with no Italian heritage), Maybelline isn’t weird, but these days it sounds like mascara, Cricket (real name), Jovi, Narc, James Bond, Amber Bock (like the beer), Ulysses S. Grant, Peanut, Roach (probably nickname, but used in class), Ivy Tower and Rainbow Skye are a few other odd but totally true ones I’ve encountered among acquaintances and while doing volunteer work.
posted by Nila on 1-5-2009 at 5:46 am