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Now that the holiday shopping season is in full swing, you’ll probably have to navigate a retail gauntlet to pick up gifts for everyone on your list. You may think that as long as you don’t headbutt another customer while going for the last Wii or get assaulted in a doorbuster frenzy on Black Friday, you’ll be fine. You might want to reconsider, though, as any number of pitfalls could still give you trouble, including some that strike after you get your booty to its carefully chosen hiding place in your home. (And yes, your children know it’s all hidden in the guest room closet.)
1. Fisticuffs
Everyone jokes about fistfights to get a particularly coveted item, but every year people forget the holiday spirit and decide to throw down. This year’s Black Friday was no exception. Videos of a scrum for the last Xbox 360 trickled onto YouTube, but no story quite encapsulated the merry sentiments of shoppers quite like this one from Friday’s New York Times:
At a Wal-Mart store in Columbus, Ohio, Nikki Nicely, 19, jumped onto a man’s back and pounded his shoulders when he tried to take a 40-inch Samsung flat-screen television to which she had laid claim. “That’s my TV!” Ms. Nicely shouted. “That’s my TV!”
A police officer and security guard intervened, but not before Ms. Nicely took an elbow in the face. In the end, she was the one with the $798 television, marked down from $1,000. “That’s right,” she cried as her adversary walked away. “This here is my TV!”
2. Store Bankruptcy
Nothing says “I care, but not enough to put any thought into your gift!” quite like a gift card from a big-box retailer. While sticking a gift card in an envelope may seem slightly more personal than giving cash, it carries some added dangers. In the current economic climate, it’s not all that uncommon for a store to go bankrupt, which means your gift will also say, “I didn’t care enough to investigate this merchant’s underlying financials, either.” Some estimates state that the bankruptcies of stores like Linens ‘n Things and The Sharper Image this year have killed off close to $100 million in gift card value.
You’re not necessarily left out in the cold if you’ve got a gift card for a company that files for bankruptcy; Circuit City actually received permission to continue honoring their outstanding cards after filing for Chapter 11 a few weeks ago. Other stores will redeem their cards, but there might be a catch. When The Sharper Image filed for Chapter 11 earlier this year, it eventually allowed consumers to redeem their gift cards…but only if they were spending twice the card’s value on a transaction. Companies don’t have to do even that, though, and if the store for which you’re holding a card goes totally belly-up and starts paying off its creditors, you’re probably not going to see the $40 from your aunt. You can make a claim in bankruptcy court to get your cash back, but as an unsecured creditor, good luck seeing any money. You’ll be one tiny step up the payment priority ladder from the kid the CEO borrowed milk money from in grade school and never repaid.
3. Filthy Money
You’ve probably heard statistics about just how grimy paper bills can get as they circulate. A 2007 Irish study found that 100 percent of tested bills contained trace amounts of cocaine. Your cash isn’t just covered in narcotics, though; it’s also crawling with germs. A 2001 study showed that 87 percent of bills contained bacteria that could conceivable make someone with a weak immune system sick, and 7 percent of the studied bills carried bacteria that could make even a healthy person sick. You’re picking up bacteria everywhere, so you don’t need to do anything rash like trade in your wallet for a coin purse. But if you’re handling a lot of extra cash during your holiday shopping, you might want to stock up on some hand sanitizer.
4. Drug Trafficking
Just find that hot new toy you were looking for? You might want to give it the once-over to make sure it’s not full of narcotics. Colorado authorities got a surprise as they investigated a methamphetamine ring in 2006; enterprising traffickers were packing toys with their wares. Most notably, an Elmo doll contained four pounds of meth. Watch out for this sort of trap if you decide to look for tough-to-find toys on the secondary market. It may seem like a long shot, but if your Elmo sweats and nervously scratches his face instead of giggling when tickled, you might want to keep moving.
5. Deadly Toys
Once you’ve scrapped and clawed for that perfect toy to put under the tree, you might want to make sure it’s not conspiring to harm your child. For this year, the Consumer Product Safety Commission is warning against five specific types of toy threats: scooters (potentially deadly falls), small balls and small parts (choking hazards), balloons (again, choking), magnets (look delicious but cause injuries if swallowed), and toys with chargers or adapters (burn hazards).
Even if you manage to avoid all of those tempting-but-deadly toys, there’s no guarantee that the toy you pick won’t have a problem with high lead content. Last year manufacturers recalled close to 4 million toys due to lead concerns. Those Curious George plush dolls may have looked adorable, but The Man in the Yellow Hat never explained the less-cute symptoms of lead poisoning, including nausea, chest pain, and irritability.
See Also…
The Secrets Behind Your Favorite Toys
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13 Nostalgic Commercials from 1987
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7 Crafty Zoo Escapes
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Dreadfully Different Dolls
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7 Historic (and Seriously Unhealthy) Beauty Practices
Comments (19)
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In light of a store worker being trampled to death before dawn on Black friday, I’d have to say that this post is not so great.
posted by fixedgear on 12-2-2008 at 3:32 pm
Aw, come on now. Magnets are only dangerous if you swallow TWO. ;)
posted by Debi on 12-2-2008 at 3:39 pm
I actually love getting gift cards….means I can pick for myself instead of have someone try to guess my taste in clothing, but that’s just me…
posted by Kate on 12-2-2008 at 4:02 pm
My brother was arrested (and banned for life from our local mall) after he punched a guy in the face who tried to take his Tickle-Me-Elmo in the mid-1990s. (He didn’t get to keep the Tickle-Me-Elmo, either.)
I buy all my gifts online.
posted by francine on 12-2-2008 at 3:13 pm
My child swallowed a Rare Earth magnet, and not only lived to tell the tale, but has an awesome X-ray on CD, and, I saved the magnet for her future fridge. – “See that magnet? It passed through my ENTIRE BODY!”
Two can be very deadly though.
Re: Lead – I WILL NOT BUY metal/metallic costume jewelry for my children or any other child, and will throw away any that comes in goodie bags. Kids put stuff in their mouths – hey, grownups do! It’s not worth the risk – TOSS IT.
That said – child was way past swallowing object age when she ingested fridge magnet – she had a few sibling rivalry issues, and it just “slipped down”.
posted by Marion on 12-2-2008 at 4:19 pm
A few years ago my grandma gave my brother and me gift certificates (not gift cards) to The Wiz, an electronics store that had gone out of business years earlier. We politely asked where she’d gotten them, and she told us a man came to her house and gave her a great deal. We later called the police and learned that a man had been caught peddling fraudulent gift certificates to many elderly people in our county. I never knew why he didn’t use actual retailers, like Best Buy.
posted by Blake on 12-2-2008 at 3:20 pm
Who buys giftcards? I never understood that.
posted by Ariane on 12-2-2008 at 4:21 pm
I love to receive (and give!) gift cards. They’re the best: you’re able to put thought into what type of item a person would like while still giving them the freedom to choose specifically what that item is (say a book from a book store). It’s no less thoughtful than getting an *actual* gift; in fact, sometimes I think it’s far more thoughtful.
posted by Jennifer on 12-2-2008 at 4:46 pm
Ok, so yes bills are filthy, and so is your car steering wheel, the door you opened to enter your office and the coffee pot too. Hmmm, seems to me if you just wash your hands before you eat or touch your face (and after using the bathroom), everything will be fine folks!
posted by Pink Coat on 12-2-2008 at 5:20 pm
Magnets are only harmful if you swallow more than 1 and then swallow them seperately. It seems if they are already stuck together they will not come apart.
Reminds of a joke with a monkey and a cue ball, but that is not for here.
And fixedgear, the article is fine it is people that are the problem. I would like to think that most people here have a little higher intellect and would at least help someone up if the knocked them down. Besides we all do our shopping at the Floss Store. No nasty bills crowds or deadly toys and it is an investment not a bailout like the auto ind and wallstreet.
posted by Kev in GA on 12-2-2008 at 5:37 pm
I never did understand the madness parents (or otherwise) will go through to get the toy that their child wants. If my child wanted me to get a toy that would put me in that situation, I would say, “No.” As a child, I never asked for the hottest toy that year, even if I did want it. I would be glad if I even got a gift!
posted by CK on 12-2-2008 at 6:06 pm
was I the only one who thought it was funny that the flat screen fistfight woman’s last name was “Nicely”?
you didn’t mention the poor walmart worker trampled to death in LI either…
black friday is certainly one of the things I’ve missed the least since moving here…
posted by bcnbri on 12-2-2008 at 6:11 pm
Love cyber shopping, and USPS delivery…
posted by Vickey on 12-2-2008 at 6:56 pm
ugh, and I have friends who are actually scared of socialism! Capitalism can clearly get out of hand.
posted by Logan on 12-2-2008 at 9:45 pm
Giftcards….the best way to say that you were not even worth the effort of picking something out.
posted by botanycreek on 12-3-2008 at 12:03 am
I often buy gift cards for those close to me because tastes change. My fiance, for example, could want one DVD box set so bad it hurts his soul, but by the time the gift giving rolls around he’s moved onto something else because the first DVD Box Set would cost too much and he doesn’t like expensive things being given to him (often). That and his birthday is two days before Christmas.
I, myself, prefer cash or gift cards instead of presents. All I ever received once I got older were baskets of bath stuff I’ve never used and still have in my room. Cash, I can put into my savings account and save up for something really nice that one person would not have been able to get me (like a MacBook Pro!). Gift cards, I can always find something in whatever store the Gift Card is to.
When I get things like that, I’m glad that person knows me well enough to know that I don’t want bath stuff.
posted by Taryn on 12-3-2008 at 7:00 am
I love getting gift cards. Most people who know me well enough to purchase gifts for me are aware of this.
posted by toddes on 12-3-2008 at 11:15 am
botanycreek, I totally disagree. I love getting gift cards. As a just out of grad school, new to the workforce person I don’t get to go shopping very much. When I get a giftcard as a present, it gives me both the thing that I buy, plus a fun day of guilt-free shopping. Two for one present!
posted by Bug on 12-3-2008 at 12:27 pm
I never understood giving gift cards or money. If we are going to do that, why don’t we all just keep our money and go buy something for ourselves?
We could all wrap up our own gifts and open them together on Christmas Eve. That would be better than becoming ATM’s for each other.
I am not all Grinchy about Christmas, I love it. But when the simple act of giving a gift has become so much of a burden,that we would rather offer or recieve money, then maybe it is time to re-evaluate exchanging gifts.
We’d better do something quick, because soon we will just register our wish list on-line expecting others to simply enter their card numbers to pay for it.
Then we’ll talk about the good-ole days when Christmas was all about giving gift cards and money. :o)
posted by Morris on 12-3-2008 at 4:36 pm