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Just because it’s the holiday season doesn’t mean I have to stop watching horror movies. And if you feel the same way, I’ve got a few recommendations for you. OK, my first one doesn’t really count as “horror,” exactly, but it’s still Christmas with a creepy twist. And if you know of any that I should add to my Netflix queue, let me know in the comments!
1. The Nightmare Before Christmas. We’re big Nightmare fans in my house; our Christmas tree is well on its way to being almost exclusively a The Nightmare Before Christmas Tree.
2. Silent Night, Deadly Night. Here’s the plot: little kid sees his parents murdered by a guy dressed up like Ol’ Saint Nick. So he grows up with a serious aversion to Santa, as you might imagine. He works at a toy store and somehow gets talked into playing Santa Claus, which makes him think he has the power to punish people. So he goes around lopping off the heads of “naughty people” with axes, impaling them with deer antlers and strangling them with Christmas lights. It’s good, clean fun for the whole family!
3. Black Christmas. Despite the cult classic status of this film and my fondness for horror movies, I’ve never seen this. The original was released in 1974 and the remake came out in 2006 – both revolve around a group of sorority sisters being systematically picked off by a madman. A bit of trivia for you – Bob Clark, the guy who directed the original, went on to direct A Christmas Story just nine years later. Quite a departure from his previous films: Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things, Deathdream, Murder by Decree, Porky’s, and Porky’s II.
4. Jack Frost. Michael Keaton transforms into a snowman and it’s hideous. Nevermind, wrong Jack Frost. This one came out two years before the Michael Keaton movie. Oh, man, the best movies always involve genetic mutation. Serial killer Jack Frost is on his way to his execution when the truck he is in collides with a truck carrying some sort of mysterious genetic material. Somehow, between the snow on the ground and the genetic material, he is transformed into a snowman and runs around town wreaking havoc.
5. Silent Night, Bloody Night. I take back what I said in the last bullet. All of the best movies involve mental institutions and/or creepy old houses that have been inherited by people who have no idea about the house’s background. So, this guy inherits a house that apparently doubled as a mental hospital, and when he tries to sell it, some people get very upset. What’s interesting about this movie, though, is all of the Andy Warhol cohorts that are in it. Mary Woronov stars (I love her, mostly because of her turn as Dr. Vadar in Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever), but there are also bit parts played by Candy Darling, Ondine, Lewis Love, Kristen Steen and Tally Brown.
6. Christmas Evil. A little boy obsessed with the Christmas Spirit grows up and gets really angry when people refuse to believe in Santa and the spirit of the season. So, you know, he kills them. Makes total sense. Doesn’t he realize that murder will land him on the Naughty List? Confusingly, this movie also goes by the titles You Better Watch Out and Terror in Toyland.
7. Santa Claws. Fittingly, a B-movie actress is stalked by a crazy fan. The holiday tie-in comes from the fact that the guy likes to dress up in a Santa Claus outfit to kill – his victims are people he feels are taking advantage of his leading lady.
8. Don’t Open Till Christmas. Maybe the killer in this movie has seen all of those other movies where the Santas are evil – he mows down anyone dressed up like Kris Kringle. I don’t blame him; I think guys dressed up in Santa costumes are kind of creepy.
9. To All a Good Night. This is really going to surprise you, but a bunch of sorority girls and their boyfriends are stalked and killed by a dude in a Santa suit. I think I need to write a Christmas horror movie screenplay that doesn’t involve sorority girls, murderous guys dressed in red or mutant snowmen. I’m not sure what that leaves, though. A killer team of elves? Rudolph ala Cujo? Or there’s always this…
10. Gingerdead Man. I can sum this up in five words (assuming you say “equals”): Gary Busey = killer cookie. Yeah. It’s pretty awful, but it’s also only an hour long. Also, I think this trailer pretty much covers the whole thing:
That last trailer made me seriously doubt humanity
…and I thought ‘The Hills Have Eyes 2′ was lame.
posted by Clarissa on 12-8-2008 at 4:03 pm
No Gremlins or the horrid ‘Santa’s Slay’?
posted by J. Tithonus Pednaud on 12-8-2008 at 4:55 pm
I have to say, The Gingerdead Man has been a favorite of mine since I first picked it up a few years ago. But it’s definitely, definitely one of those movies that you have to watch with a group of people who are all willing to get into the spirit of the thing.
posted by Alice on 12-8-2008 at 5:04 pm
I must put in a second endorsement for Gremlins.
Also, you can’t mention Christmas without also mentioning Die Hard.
posted by Chris on 12-8-2008 at 5:51 pm
No DieHard? Sure you can ,,, I’m taking a stab at all this thinking that the theme of Christmas plays a major role in the movie, maybe??
lol ,, Captcha is Ill Bruce
posted by Paul on 12-8-2008 at 5:58 pm
Great list! I haven’t heard of many of these movies. Not that that is a bad thing… However, I totally agree that “Gremlins” should have made the list in the place of “The Nightmare Before Chriistmas”. Jack is pretty cheery for Halloween, he just doesn’t understand that his idea of fun doesn’t necessarily transfer Christmas. I’ve always found it to be a rather sweet movie.
The “Gingerdead Man” trailer; OMG – that was horrible! That one scarred for life. I think I will be eyeing the Pillsbury Doughboy suspiciously from now on.
posted by bzzyb on 12-8-2008 at 6:48 pm
I think I saw my first bare breast in “Silent Night, Deadly Night.” I wish I would have waited for a movie with a little more class. I feel so cheap.
posted by Kelsey on 12-8-2008 at 10:51 pm
You can adequately sum up “Gingerdead Man” (or better yet, “Gingerdread Man”) in two words: Gary Busey
enough said
posted by DennisP on 12-8-2008 at 11:15 pm
I have to admit, I have never seen Die Hard. It’s a Christmas movie?
posted by Stacy Conradt on 12-8-2008 at 11:27 pm
Gary Busey, Oscar nominee.
posted by Zach on 12-9-2008 at 1:28 am
Stacy, the first two Die Hard movies take place around Christmas. The original movie is a bunch of terrorists (led by Alan Rickman) who take over a building during the Christmas party on Christmas eve. I think Die Hard is a great movie, a lot of action and Bruce Willis without a shirt.
I also agree Gremlins should have made the list…
posted by Jenna on 12-9-2008 at 8:19 am
Ick. The second blood hits gingerbread mix, it no longer coutns as food safe. Get rid of that nastiness, don’t COOK it.
posted by Chelsea on 12-9-2008 at 10:34 am
I’ve actually seen that “Jack Frost” movie. One of the best/worst bad movies I’ve seen. Hilarious.
posted by Nerak on 12-9-2008 at 4:15 pm
what about santa’s slay?
posted by kslf on 12-9-2008 at 11:58 pm
no christmas story? i’m burying this on digg just because of that. list fails completely without it.
posted by aaaaaaaaaa on 12-10-2008 at 12:07 am
@aaaaaaaaa, I guess I just don’t consider A Christmas Story to be horror :)
posted by stacy on 12-10-2008 at 8:34 am
What, No ‘The Ref’? Best non-Christmas Christmas movie ever!
posted by Mr. Terry on 12-10-2008 at 8:35 am
I must second that Jack Frost is one of the greatest/worst movies of all time!
posted by Mavis on 12-10-2008 at 2:10 pm
How can a list of bad not-smarmy Christmas movies not include Santas Slay? It’s hysterically awful. I laughed so hard I fell off the couch.
Jackfrost 2? Worse than the original, still enjoyable though.
posted by Elle on 12-10-2008 at 4:23 pm
#1 nightmare before christmas fan.woo!!!!!!!!! i love jack skelington
posted by yuki on 12-12-2008 at 11:28 pm