Take a step away from red and green foil paper and satin bows under the Christmas tree! Gift wrapping paper comes in so many different patterns that you can put your personal stamp on gifts without making it yourself.

Beware of geeks bearing gifts! Five patterns of wrapping paper from Think Geek are adorned with your choice of mathematical equations, binary code, robots, or emoticons. There is also a “non-denominational” paper with the phrase “Have a Satisfactory, Non-denominational Capitalist, Wintertime Gift-giving Season!” $5.99 for a package of four sheets.

Yes, it’s pretty, until you realize this is Vicious Paper Cut Bloody Gift Wrap. The message here is, “I suffered to give you this gift.” How precious. $5.95 from VampFangs, where you can also find totally black wrapping paper.

Wrap your booty in Jolly Rogers for a gift that will stand out among the others under the tree! $3.99 from Pirates Plunder.

Methinks when you use bacon gift wrap, everyone in your family will know who bought those particular gifts under the tree. $7.95 from Archie McPhee.

The guys at eBoy are known for their intricate pixelated artworks. The same care went into the design of their wrapping paper. Get eight sheets of paper with Escher-esque pixel designs for 15 euros.

Prank Place has a selection of funny and rude Christmas wrap. Recommended for office parties and secret Santa shenanigans -unless that kind of thing will get you fired. My favorite is the suicidal snowman. Warning: patterns furthest down the product page are NSFW.

If money is no object (just a phrase, since in this case it is an “object”), you can use money to wrap your gifts! The US Bureau of Engraving and Printing sells uncut sheets of currency in denominations of up to $50.

There are many services on the internet that will print wrapping paper with your name or slogan. BeauCoup (for example) has many styles for $30 for a 12-foot roll, and will deliver in five business days with a rush fee.

Don’t forget the name tags! These geeky retro tags are made from leftover 3.5 inch floppy disc labels, attached to heavy card stock with a string attached.