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Although it’s hard to fathom why people bothered to go on living, there was once a time when folks had no choice but to sit up straight in their chairs, fiddle with buttons and zippers, climb stairs, hike to the outhouse, and add numbers with pencil and paper. Below, a paean to the inventions that made it easier to enjoy the simple pleasures of sinful idleness.
1. The Escalator
In 1891, Jesse Reno patented the first moving staircase, paving the way for today’s world, in which we choose not to use staircases, just StairMasters. Reno’s invention was more of an inclined ramp than the escalator we know today; passengers hooked into cleats on the belt and scooted up the ramp at a 25-degree angle. Fairly soon after, he built a spiral escalator—the mere thought nauseates us—in London, but it was never used by the public. Reno’s first escalator, however, was widely used, albeit not practically. In a testament to how utterly unamusing amusement parks were in the 1890s, 75,000 people rode Reno’s “inclined elevator” during a two-week exhibition at Coney Island in 1896. Let’s be clear: The escalator was not the means by which one traveled to a ride. It was the ride itself.
2. La-Z-Boy
In 1928, when he was a mere lad of 21, Edwin Shoemaker forever blurred the distinction between sitting up and lying down by developing the world’s first reclining chair. His initial model, a wood-slat chair intended for porches, was fashioned out of orange crates and designed to fit the contours of the back at any angle. It took an early customer, appreciative of the concept but rather unexcited about the prospect of lying down on bare slats of wood, to suggest upholstering the chair. Shoemaker and his partner (and cousin) Edward Knabusch then held a contest to name the invention. “La-Z-Boy” beat out suggestions like “Sit ’n Snooze” and “The Slack Back.” The next time someone tells you an active lifestyle is the key to long life, reply with this tidbit: The man who invented the recliner lazed his way up to the ripe old age of 91.
3. Velcro
Isaac Newton beneath the apple tree. Archimedes shouting “Eureka!” in the bathtub. And Georges de Mestral going for a walk in the woods. The greatest discoveries often stem from mundane observations, and while gravity (Newton) and measurable density (Archimedes) are cool and everything, nothing beats the sweet music of parting Velcro. Mestral, a Swiss engineer, returned home after a walk in 1948 to find cockleburs stuck to his coat. After examining one under a microscope, he noted that cockleburs attach to clothes and fur via thin hooks. Eureka! It took Mestral eight years to develop his product. But in the end, the twin nylon strips worked precisely like a cocklebur on a coat—one strip features burr-like hooks and the other thousands of small loops to which they attach, forming an unusually strong bond.
4. The Calculator
Ah, the calculator—a handy device that makes 55378008 look like a naughty word when you turn it upside down. Oh, and it also makes math class a whole lot easier. Oddly enough, it was a 19-year-old boy named Blaise Pascal (yes, that Pascal) who invented the first mechanical adding machine. But Pascal’s device was cumbersome and couldn’t record results, so the vast majority of people continued calculating by hand until 1892, when William Seward Burroughs patented the first commercially viable adding machine. Although Burroughs died before reaping much profit from his invention, his grandson (also William Seward Burroughs) was one sure beneficiary. The younger Burroughs became famous for writing Naked Lunch, a book that would likely have been impossible if Burroughs hadn’t had all that inherited calculator money to waste on heroin.
5. The Toilet
Contrary to popular belief, we do not have Thomas Crapper to thank for the conveniences of the flushing toilet (more on him in a moment). Toilets with drainage systems date to 2500 BCE, but Sir John Harrington invented the first “water closet” around 1596 (it was also used by his godmother, Queen Elizabeth I). However, toilets never caught on until Alexander Cummings invented the “Strap,” which featured a sliding valve between the bowl and the sewage trap. As for Mr. Crapper (1837–1910), he was a plumber who sold, but did not invent, a popular type of toilet, although he did hold several plumbing-related patents. Not surprisingly, Crapper has been unfairly linked to the less-than-pleasant word “crap.” The two, however, are unrelated. In 1846, the first time “crap” is recorded as having been used in English, little Tommy-poo was just nine years of age.
This article was excerpted from Forbidden Knowledge: A Wickedly Smart Guide to History’s Naughtiest Bits. You can pick up a copy in the mental_floss store.
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Comments (25)
Comment
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What about the remote control? When I was a kid we weren’t allowed to have them. My dad called them “the height of laziness”
posted by John on 12-17-2008 at 11:05 am
boobless is a bad word?
posted by gary on 12-17-2008 at 12:10 pm
Velcro may help most of us be lazy, but for millions of disabled children and adults, it makes the world a much more viable living space.
posted by chris on 12-17-2008 at 12:16 pm
Cheers to Chris!
Yes, and it also makes Moms able to get out the door that much faster. If only they had velcro shoes when I was young – it would have saved a bucket of tears for me and my Mom!!!
posted by Marion on 12-17-2008 at 12:51 pm
I can’t believe the microwave oven isn’t on here.
And aren’t elevators much more commonly used than escalators? Maybe escalators just came first and so paved the way for elevators.
posted by Diana on 12-17-2008 at 1:51 pm
If Sir John Harrington invented the Water Closet, is that why it’s called the John?
posted by Zach on 12-17-2008 at 2:44 pm
Sorry man, but I gotta say, this is pretty lame. These inventions did not “enhance” laziness.
The people that were lazy to begin with will become more lazy, regardless of any products. Lazy people will be lazy because that is who they are.
This is just like blaming television for violence. That’s absurd and anyone who says that does not have the knowledge capacity to even be watching tv.
We are who we are, products do not create us, they only enhance who we are. Like tubeNinja said, money/products aren’t evil, they only fuel who you already are. if your evil to begin with you’ll use your money and products for evil. but if your a good person, you’ll use these products and money for good.
figure out who you are first, and then you can figure out how your products/money fuel who you are.
posted by Nick Hesson on 12-17-2008 at 4:37 pm
I agree with John. The remote control should definitely be on here. It was originally invented for accessibility reasons but was then later found to be useful for all us lazy people as well.
posted by Jason on 12-17-2008 at 4:42 pm
i love the article but i have to say the i thought the remote would have to be up there. keep up the great work!
posted by untappedhi on 12-17-2008 at 4:46 pm
gotta add the drinking straw to the list.
“i wish i didn’t have to lift this glass to my lips. perhaps some sort of tube i could put in my mouth would work so i don’t have to move at all to take a drink”
posted by Balzac on 12-17-2008 at 4:53 pm
Missing some really important ones: Automobile, TV, remote control
posted by Jim on 12-17-2008 at 5:03 pm
553l8008 is not naughty unless you’re under the age of 12. Roomba, now there’s an invention that encourages laziness.
posted by Bert on 12-17-2008 at 5:20 pm
the auto-book (tv)
pretty much all of the internet.
drive-through windows
posted by Aron on 12-17-2008 at 5:56 pm
You’re forgetting Wikipedia. My students refuse to think anymore; they just Wikipedia anything I assign them to do. Not that I’m against Wikipedia – I’m a huge fan, but geez, it’s making brains go soft.
posted by Anna on 12-17-2008 at 8:25 pm
I just cannot stand people ahead of me on the escalator who are too lazy to realize it is NOT a ride! I don’t know how they know that at the end they will have to start walking again. Lazy fools!
posted by SteveM on 12-17-2008 at 9:41 pm
The Straw, How lazy can you get, bring the drink to your mouth!
posted by jbeyer on 12-17-2008 at 9:52 pm
worst of cuprits, newspapers….think about it
posted by eric on 12-17-2008 at 10:29 pm
“boobless is a bad word?”
– It’s “BOOBIES”, ya n00b.
posted by heyshippy on 12-18-2008 at 9:54 am
boobless is a sad word.
posted by Chris on 12-18-2008 at 11:54 am
Actually, many use the straw to sip dark liquids (like tea and soda) so it won’t stain their teeth! I think it originated from children’s sippy cups…
posted by Laydee T on 12-18-2008 at 11:57 am
Chainsaw…..come on use an ax lazyass
Nailgun…..can’t use a hammer and nails?????
posted by jensen on 12-18-2008 at 5:50 pm
A spell checker is definitely in my list.. Most people can’t really spell anymore, they just type the word close enough that the computer figures out what they meant..
posted by Wyatt on 12-18-2008 at 11:31 pm
The tv remote can be excluded from enhancing laziness. Instead of having to go to the tv to change channels, you now have to get up, look all over the room, rip apart the couch, crawl under furniture, walk around while searching for the remote. :)
posted by Tdave on 12-22-2008 at 5:03 am
The toilet? Really? The convenience of not having to go outside a crap in a hole is a feature of enhanced laziness?
How about cleanliness?
posted by K on 1-11-2009 at 7:18 pm
Just to point out a couple things – besides not staining your teeth, a straw is pretty useful to avoid spilling on oneself. Also helpful for drinking beer while wearing a Mexican wrestling mask.
Secondly – if the word was meant to be boobies, it would have been 55318008. An upside-down 7 looks like an L, not an I.
Thirdly, Chainsaws and nailguns make one lazy? Ever lifted one of those suckers? Not to mention – try getting someone to re-shingle your entire roof in one day without a nailgun – not only will it take twice or three times as long, you also have to pay the contractor two or three times as much for labour.
I do agree with the escalators though. Can’t rationalize that one.
posted by Bert on 2-20-2009 at 4:56 pm