We apologize for doing this on Christmas morning, but it’s time someone spilled the dirt on the Three Kings, and just how wise they really were. While the story of the cheersome threesome is oft-repeated through manger scenes and Christmas carols, only one of the four Gospels (Matthew) makes mention of visitors from the East. And while scripture does list the three gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, Matthew doesn’t specify how many people brought them. In fact, based on the writings of early Christian leaders, the wise men weren’t even kings, but rather Persian astrologers. However, we totally understand if no one wants to sing “We Indeterminate Number of Zoroastrian Astrologer Priests of Modern-Day Iran Are.”
Image via the highly recommended Brick Testament.
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Also, they didn’t show up at the manger, and Jesus may not have been an infant at the time. Matthew 2:11 shows that they were at a house, and 2:16 hints that Jesus could have been up to two years old when that happened.
posted by Ishmael on 12-25-2008 at 11:35 am
they were astronomers.
posted by n on 12-25-2008 at 2:32 pm
Since Herod was still trying to kill Jesus, he would have been in Egypt, and he was probably a few years old.
posted by Isaac on 12-25-2008 at 3:42 pm
They weren’t just astrologers. They were actually of an order created by King David during his time in Babylon.
posted by Steve on 12-25-2008 at 4:33 pm
@n: back then astrologers and astronomers were synonymous occupations
@Isaac: Herrod hadn’t called for the genocide of toddlers until after the wise men had left, so he would have been in Israel still.
@mental_floss: I’ve been witing for this article. That song’s bugged me for a long time.
posted by DYMongoose on 12-25-2008 at 6:51 pm
Brilliant! Thanks guys.
“God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh.” -Voltaire
posted by Johnny Cat on 12-26-2008 at 1:47 am
“They saw the child on His mother’s lap.”
posted by Sara on 12-26-2008 at 3:34 pm
Nice to see mention of Zoroastrianism here. Thanks for that!
Cheers!
posted by Khush on 12-27-2008 at 9:07 pm
Also, the gold from the wisemen would have enabled the family to flee to Egypt. And the word genocide isn’t quite accurate. The city would have been around 20k people, males of Jesus’ age wouldnt have been more than 12-20 tops. Horrible act yes, but far from the worse things Herrod did, and definitly not genocide.
posted by mgs on 12-29-2008 at 12:39 am