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Sometimes false advertising is easy to spot. Statements like “Lose 20 pounds in 5 days” or “Make $1 million a month while sitting at home” seem to choke on their own incredulity, but sometimes marketers employ a little more finesse to bamboozle you. Here are six examples of shamelessly false advertising campaigns that weren’t just implicitly misleading—they were blatant lies.
1. Listerine as a Cure-All
Listerine was the first over-the-counter mouthwash sold in the United States in 1914 and by 1921 it was already falsely marketing its product. Declaring itself a cure-all for common cold ailments like sore throats and coughs, a dandruff preventative, an anti-shave tonic, and a safe way to protect yourself from cuts, bruises, wounds, and stings, Listerine was slapped with numerous false advertisement lawsuits. In 1975, the Federal Trade Commission ordered the company to spend $10 million in corrective advertising, seeing as their product was no more effective in treating colds than gargling warm water. Even then, the mouthwash giant didn’t really learn their lesson. In 2005, the company was slapped with another lawsuit. This time because Listerine claimed it was as “effective as floss” after rigging clinical trials.
2. Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound (Great for boozy housewives!)
Touted as one of the world’s first successful businesswomen, Lydia Pinkham exploited her reputation as a local medicine woman to propel her herbal remedy into a commercial success, eventually grossing almost $400,000 yearly. The remedy claimed to cure all womanly ailments and weaknesses and sold for $1 a bottle. What was in the herbal remedy? Turns out, it contained less than 1% solid substance from vegetable extracts and almost 20% alcohol. If a woman took the suggested 1 tablespoon every 2-4 hours, she will have consumed 5 ounces of 13.5% or higher alcohol by the end of the day – more than enough for a healthy buzz that made life seem a bit more cheery to boozy housewives. When the Federal Trade Commission tightened its laws on claims made by medicines, Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound had to swallow the restrictions with a spoonful of sugar.
3. Crystal Clear Amoco Gasoline: Good, Clean Fun
In 1996, the Amoco Oil Company agreed to settle a Federal Trade Commission charge that its “Crystal Clear Amoco Ultimate” advertised unsubstantiated claims. The premium gasoline, because of its clear color, boasted superior engine performance and environmental benefits. The fact is, at the time the country was going through a clear revolution. Pepsi had gone clear (Crystal clear, in fact!). Clearly Canadian was dominating shelves. And Amoco, which had for years made a clear colored fuel, decided to capitalize on the trend. Unfortunately, they had no factual evidence to substantiate their “better for the environment and your engine” claims, and the company was forced to curb their campaign.
4. Dr. Koch’s Cure All
Starting in 1919, Dr. William Frederick Koch bottled and marketed a cancer, infection, and allergy cure-all with the help of his brother Louis. His drug glyoxylide, which he claimed cured “practically all human ills, including . . . tuberculosis” sold for $25 (1948 price) in local drug stores. The FDA had always been suspicious of the doctor, but not until they tested the drug in 1948 and found it contained nothing more than distilled water were their suspicions confirmed. And what proved to be more appalling, they discovered that Dr. Koch had been treating cancer patients by telling them to detox with the aid of enemas and fresh fruit and vegetable juices, taking only the smallest doses of painkillers. Unfortunately, despite all of his patients dying enough evidence was never found to present a viable case against him, and Dr. Koch moved to Rio de Janeiro in the late 1940s.
5. Airborne Gets a Flunking Grade
“It’s the one designed by the school teacher!” Airborne, which entered the market 10 years ago first claimed to prevent colds, then claimed to boost your immune system, and is now claiming a federal lawsuit. In March of this year, Airborne settled a lawsuit in which it agreed to pay over $23 million in fines for false advertising. David Schardt, who spearheaded the lawsuit against Airborne says there is no factual evidence to back the companies claims, likening Airborne to a placebo and advising people fighting colds to simply take a Vitamin C pill.
6. The Trick Wedding straight from Mickey Blue Eyes
We know this one isn’t a product, but the story was so good we had to include it. In September 1990, a group of drug crime suspects in Corunna, Michigan, received an invitation to a wedding from a well–known drug dealer in the area. Attendees were asked to check their guns at the entrance, apparently a common occurrence at these events. As part of a five-month undercover investigation, the police staged and advertised a wedding on a Friday night, figuring it was easier to make drug suspects come to them than to round them up. The groom was an undercover investigator, the bride a Flint police officer, and the bride’s father (and reputed crime boss) was the police chief. That evening, after the vows, the toasts, and the dancing, the band, called SPOC, or COPS spelled backward, played “Fought the Law,” setting off the cue for the evening’s real agenda. All the police officers were then asked to stand, and those who remained seated were arrested. A dozen suspects were booked and, by Saturday afternoon, 16 were in custody.
Portions of this story were excerpted from Forbidden Knowledge, which is available from our store.
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Comments (27)
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This is along the lines of Mickey Blue Eyes, but Washington, D.C. cops did a similar sting offering Washington Redskins tickets to people they were trying to round up. Those tickets were hard to get and they rounded up a bunch of people with warrants that day. I think I’ve also heard similar stories. More?
posted by Karen on 12-31-2008 at 10:05 am
Bring back Crystal Pepsi!
posted by Diana on 12-31-2008 at 10:22 am
I agree, Diana.
Man, I used to love Clearly Canadian back in the day. I tried it again a few years ago, only to discover they put sucralose in it, and I hate fake sugar.
Wikipedia claims they stopped doing that, so maybe it’s time to try it again :)
posted by Leah on 12-31-2008 at 11:12 am
I still think the best is Lysol. Back in the day it marketed as a cure-all, and women were advised to use it as a douche. Ouch.
posted by Kathe on 12-31-2008 at 1:57 pm
Lydia’s last name is actually Pinkham. (Hint: It’s printed on the box.)
posted by Judy on 12-31-2008 at 2:26 pm
Great story, Kristen! Clearly the I Love Lucy VitamitaVegimine episode was based on a real-life-product.
I wonder what TV show Airborne will reappear on.
posted by David H. on 12-31-2008 at 3:50 pm
“Let’s drink a drink a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
Saviour of the human ra-a-ace.
For she invented medicinal compound
Efficacious in every case”
I’ve forgotten the rest of the song, but it does reference the alcohol content, because the last line of the last verse is “sadly, pickled Lily died.”
posted by jess B on 12-31-2008 at 5:58 pm
Oh, Listerine…don’t you know nothing is as effective as _floss?
posted by Johnny Cat on 12-31-2008 at 9:52 pm
Amoco did offer lead-free “white gas” from the pump at a time when the others only had leaded gas.
posted by cyber_rigger on 1-1-2009 at 12:14 pm
I was ashamed to see Airborne @ Costco. I thought such a reputable place of great deals and customer service would be above scammy crap. Alas, they’ve also carried Kevin Trudeau books in the past, so they’re not above such bastard quackery.
Incidentally, my reCAPTCHA of the day is “sane endear”.
posted by Torley on 1-1-2009 at 8:33 pm
A current shamelessly false ad campaign claims that the Cadillac Escalade gets better in-town gas mileage than the Mini Cooper. Seriously. I suppose if you’re rolling it downhill …
posted by Tony Steidler-Dennison on 1-1-2009 at 8:52 pm
You forgot to mention the Acai Berry Diet Pill “Free Trial” scam that bills you $80+ a month…
posted by frank adams on 1-1-2009 at 9:10 pm
As with many of our societal blunders, false or misleading advertising is one of our achilles’ heels. We’ve all seen countless infomercials that promise superior performance and benefit, but deliver inferior results. And now things are worse than ever; now, as we as Americans are in our worst state economically since the Great Depression, corporations are scrambling more than ever to sell their products to us at a higher price, even if it means sprinkling false advertising around their products to do so.
posted by Michael D. on 1-2-2009 at 12:12 am
How about Gillian McKeith advertising herself as a Doctor, when she actually purchased her PhD from a non accredited institution?
posted by Ciaran on 1-2-2009 at 6:01 am
Vitemin C also doesn’t cure colds so that’s false advertisement in itself.
posted by Andrew on 1-2-2009 at 9:45 am
True, but it is good for your immune system so at least it can mount a strong defense.
posted by Chris on 1-2-2009 at 2:59 pm
But Listerine does help with dandruff. I use it when I take a shower and im flake free bitches!
posted by triXter on 1-2-2009 at 7:30 pm
I feel violated to discover that they don’t really drink Um Bongo in the Congo, nor will some bloke offer to be my dog if I wave a bottle of Kia-Ora around.
posted by Pat on 1-7-2009 at 11:05 am
I must take issue with the treatment of Dr Koch’s Cure-All, it’s quite clearly a highly -efficient homeopathic remedy, they just didn’t have the ability to recognise it as such at the time. Or it was a conspiracy by scientists to cover up the truth. Or something like that :)
posted by Cannonball Jones on 1-13-2009 at 9:54 am
Anyone remember that old SNL commercial for Crystal Gravy? That summed up the country’s “clear” obsession perfectly.
posted by zepher on 1-13-2009 at 12:56 pm
I think using listerine everday is what has kept my hairline from receding none of my brothers use it but i do and i’m the only one without a receding hairline
posted by Healthy Guy on 1-31-2009 at 12:27 pm
The most outrageous one of all is Dr. John R. “Goat Glands” Brinkley, who performed over 16,000 goat testicle transplants … into human men! The claim was that aged men could regain youthful vigor and the legendary randiness of goats. It made him fabulously rich. He also had his own radio station, and a chain of pharmacies based on his quackery.
But oh, hey, if we’re talking false advertising, walk into any church and listen to the stories THEY tell.
posted by Hank Fox on 2-14-2009 at 11:26 pm
Reposting this: Didn’t seem to go through …
The most outrageous one of all is Dr. John R. “Goat Glands” Brinkley, who performed over 16,000 goat testicle transplants … into human men! The claim was that aged men could regain youthful vigor and the legendary randiness of goats. It made him fabulously rich. He also had his own radio station, and a chain of pharmacies based on his quackery.
But oh, hey, if we’re talking false advertising, walk into any church and listen to the stories THEY tell.
posted by Hank Fox on 2-14-2009 at 11:28 pm
Yes zepher!!
It was a gross SNL commercial, too. I loved it.
What about cookie doe sport? It’s another favorite of mine since gatorade is now sugar…and salt.
posted by Kels on 9-9-2009 at 4:09 pm
Does anyone remember the Subaru commercials where one of their cars was run over by a monster truck and didn’t collapse? They found later that Subaru had put a roll cage in the car.
posted by Julie on 9-11-2009 at 2:51 am
I don’t think it was Subaru that put the roll cage in it’s car before having the moster truck roll over it. I think that was actually Volvo.
posted by Bruce on 9-16-2009 at 11:54 am
“And Amoco, which had for years made a clear colored fuel, decided to capitalize on the trend”
Come on now, a CLEAR COLORED fuel? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?
posted by R Brown on 9-28-2009 at 8:55 am