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Hollywood has a new blacklist, but it’s not what you think. This time, it’s good to be on the blacklist. Started a few years ago by a cadre of Hollywood assistants, the blacklist are the best unproduced screenplays written in a given year, compiled from the suggestions of more than 250 execs and bigwigs who submit their top 10. Because there are lots more good scripts floating around than can possibly be made, getting onto the blacklist can be good for an up-and-coming writer (the list flies around Hollywood email inboxes faster than links to cute cat videos) and maybe not-so-great for big, established writers, if only in the sense that a bunch of companies read your script but no one has committed to making it yet. In any case, it’s a fun window into what might be coming to a theater near you, and so I thought I’d include some of my favorite funny/weird/interesting/flossy blacklist titles and plotlines here for your enjoyment.
You can even play Hollywood exec for a moment: which of these movies would you greenlight?
THE BEAVER by Kyle Killen
“A depressed man finds hope in a beaver puppet that he wears on his hand.”
THE GARY COLEMAN –EMMANUEL LEWIS PROJECT by Dan Fogelman
“Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman save the world from an evil madman.”
BOBISM by Ben Wexler
“A shy college student discovers that life in one thousand years will be based on his blog–and he has to stop aliens from the future who want him dead.”
BUTTER by Jason Micallef
“A small town becomes a center for controversy and jealousy as its annual butter carving contest begins.”
THE MANY DEATHS OF BARNABY JAMES by Brian Nathanson
“A teenage apprentice in a macabre circus for the dead yearns to bring his true love back to life, but not before encountering the many dangerous and mysterious gothic characters that stand in his way.”
(This one seems like an example of a potentially good story which is nearly impossible to compress into a one-sentence logline.)
THE FOURTH KIND by Olatunde Osunsanmi
“A woman investigates an extraordinary number of unexplained disappearances from one small town in Alaska.”
(I just hope that small town is Wasilla.)
FOXCATCHER by E Max Frye & Dan Futterman
“Based on the true story of John du Pont, a paranoid schizophrenic who was heir to the du Pont fortune. After building a wrestling training facility named Team Foxcatcher on his Pennsylvania estate, Du Pont shot and killed Olympic gold medal-winning grappler David Schulz.”
(Stranger than fiction! This is what they mean when they say “you can’t make this stuff up.”)
UP IN THE AIR by Jason Reitman
“A ruthless human resources executive, whose job is to fire people, looks forward to the only joy he has in life, his millionth frequent flyer mile, a goal he pursues with zeal as the rest of his life falls apart around him because he is constantly on the road.”
(Jason Reitman directed Juno. Apparently this is already in production.)
KEIKO by Elizabeth Wright Shapiro
“A white teenage girl, who was adopted and raised in Japan by Japanese parents, travels to America to find her long lost father, comedian Dana Carvey.”
(Sounds like Lost in Translation in reverse. Sign me up!)
KNIGHTS by Nick Confalone & Neal Dusedau
“A kickass British adventure where knighted celebrities (an entrepreneur, a soccer player, a musician, and an actor) are called upon to defend their country.”
(This gets my vote. Hilarious.)
TWENTY TIMES A LADY by Gabrielle Allan & Jennifer Crittenden
“Based on the book by Karyn Bosnak. After realizing that she has had twice as many sexual partners as the national average, Ally swears off new guys and decides to go back and visit the previous twenty guys and find out if she overlooked anyone.”
(Just when you thought every romantic comedy had been made already.)
HELP ME SPREAD GOODNESS by Mark Friedman
“When an email predator dupes a man out of his son’s college fund, the man travels to Nigeria to confront those who ripped him off.”
YOUR DREAMS SUCK by Kat Dennings & Geoffrey Litwak
“An awkward teen with no self esteem regains his self-confidence after joining a Dance Dance Revolution team.”
(Awesome. Just make it before people forget what Dance Dance Revolution is.)
WHAT WOULD KENNY DO? by Chris Baldi
“A seventeen-year-old high school kid meets a ‘hologram’of himself at thirty-seven-years-old and benefits from their friendship.”
THE BEAUTIFUL AND THE DAMNED by Hanna Weg
“The tumultuous and doomed love affair of Jazz Age icons F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Sayre.”
(I believe this is in production now as well; ever since Benjamin Button, Fitzgerald is hot again! Also, supposedly Baz Luhrman is making The Great Gatsby as his next film.)
DEADLINE by Soo Hugh
“A discredited journalist navigates dangerous politics to find a missing aid worker.”
(Soo is a friend, I’ve read the script and it’s great, someone make it already!)
F*&KBUDDIES by Liz Meriwether
“A guy and a girl struggle to have an exclusively sexual relationship as they both come to realize they want much more.”
(I might have to go with the one above for its title alone.)
THE MOST ANNOYING MAN IN THE WORLD by Kevin Kopelow & Heath Seifert
“A man travels across the country with his annoying brother in order to get to his own wedding.”
SERIAL KILLER DAYS by Mark Carter
“A dark comedy blending stories of teen love and municipal corruption set against the backdrop of a town plagued by a serial killer that decides to profit the only way it can -by creating a festival and economy around the fact that they have a serial killer.”
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Comments (25)
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UP IN THE AIR is going to be filmed in St. Louis starring George Clooney. They are talking about it on local news looking for extras. I don’t know if that is going to be the title though.
posted by Elizabeth on 1-9-2009 at 12:17 pm
“F*&kbuddies”, “Knights”, and “Serial Killer Days” get my vote.
posted by Mortal Light on 1-9-2009 at 12:40 pm
- “Butter” could be a hilarious mockumentary in the vein of “A Mighty Wind” and “Best in Show.”
– “Your Dreams Suck” could only work if it starred Will Ferrell. I predict that will not happen and National Lampoon will produce it instead.
- “Twenty Times a Lady” – wasn’t there a male version of this just done? Ryan Reynolds may have been in it. Yeah, the female version would probably be just as momorable.
- “The Fourth Kind” could be interesting if it’s done correctly. As long as it doesn’t fall into the same trap as the Al Pacino?/Robin Williams movie from a few years back. I think it was called “Insomnia” and, like Alaska, was fairly boring.
- I can only see Jim Carrey in “The Most Annoying Man in the World”. “Dumber and Dumberer” was proof enough that we don’t need to rehash “Dumb and Dumber.” If Jim Carrey passes, National Lampoon will make this one too.
- “Knights”, “Foxcatcher” and “Deadline” are all movies I would go and see.
posted by bzzyb on 1-9-2009 at 12:43 pm
Knights would be great if they got actual knights to fill the roles.
I’m thinking Ian Holm, Pele, Mick Jagger, and James Dyson.
Anyone agree?
posted by Codius on 1-9-2009 at 12:56 pm
Serial Killer Days
Your Dreams Suck
F%#k Buddies
Fox Catcher
20 Times a Lady
Knights
Many Deaths of Barnaby
Up in the Air
Lots of potential!
posted by A on 1-9-2009 at 1:06 pm
Most Annoying Man in the World could easily have Paul Rudd as the guy getting married and Jason Segal as the annoying brother. Those two would be perfect!
Also Butter could be a great movie if made in the same way as Napolean Dynamite. The movie would need no actual plot to be great.
And Knights looks good too. I go with Codius and they should cast actual Knights!
posted by Mavis on 1-9-2009 at 1:11 pm
I have to agree with bzzyb on “Your Dreams Suck”. Though I dont know if I would prefer Will Ferrell as the kid or as a coach of the team.
My votes are Foxcatcher, Keiko, Butter and The Fourth Kind.
posted by Cassandra on 1-9-2009 at 1:19 pm
-’The many deaths of Barnaby James’ ‘Up in the Air’ You Dreams Suck’ ‘ The Beautiful and the Damned’ and ‘Deadline’ sound like good movies.
- ‘Knights’ sounds like the British version of Tropic Thunder, which could be either a good or a bad thing depending on how well it’s done.
- F@#ckbuddies= f@#$k no. I see Judd Apatow’s fingerprints all over this and he’s made way too many versions of the same damn movie already.
-Butter sounds like a mockumentary as bzzyb said, which could be funny, just not up my particular alley.
-Most Annoying Man in the World…no. Just no. I’ve seen enough movies that make me want to strangle the main character, thankyouverymuch.
-The Fourth Kind sounds like a potential sci-fi.
All of these movies sound potentially good, but it all depends on who spearheads it. Sounds promising, I’m going to have to save up for movie tickets :)
posted by heather on 1-9-2009 at 1:22 pm
Did you notice that the author of Your Dreams Suck is Kat Dennings? Is this the actress who starred in Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist, Charlie Bartlett, etc?
posted by Trace on 1-9-2009 at 1:23 pm
I have to add though that Keiko would only have the potential of greatness of the long lost father wasnt Dana Carvey. It would be better if it was some unknown guy and make it all dramatic and whatnot.
posted by Cassandra on 1-9-2009 at 1:29 pm
“Butter” definitely has to be a Christopher Guest film! Hilarious.
“The Beaver” reminds me of “Lars and the Real Girl” and I think could be great if it didn’t turn too goofy.
posted by Jenny on 1-9-2009 at 1:46 pm
Bobism sounds too much like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
None of them looked attractive. Perhaps the scriptwriters need to hire advertisers to write their one-line synopses.
posted by Bryan on 1-9-2009 at 2:38 pm
They made F^&+*% Buddies- it’s called Zack and Miri Make a Porno
posted by Ftssoad on 1-9-2009 at 2:43 pm
I think Butter would be great as a mockumentary. Have the people who did best in show and spinal tap make it.
posted by Mike on 1-9-2009 at 3:30 pm
I agree with Codius, they should real knights but maybe not those ones specifically; I can’t see Mick Jagger in it unless he was the musician.
posted by Joe on 1-9-2009 at 4:27 pm
Keiko it is! Any movie with Dana Carvey gets my vote!
posted by Kat on 1-9-2009 at 6:09 pm
lots of awesome ones.
posted by m on 1-9-2009 at 7:14 pm
THE MANY DEATHS OF BARNABY JAMES – This totallysounds like a Tim Burton “Nightmare Before Christmas” kinda thinkg.
posted by Cardial_Fang on 1-9-2009 at 7:25 pm
So a few years back our friend told us how his buddy’s brother was working at a hollywood studio, and they got this absolutely ridiculous script, which they were sure was gonna be thrown out. It was about this plane that gets taken over by all these snakes…
it’s sad to think that even when there are plenty of decent scripts lying about that awful looking movies like mallcop still get made.
posted by Colin GG on 1-10-2009 at 2:33 am
“The Many Deaths of Barnaby James” sounds like it could be interesting. Emphasis on could be. :)
posted by NYCGirl on 1-10-2009 at 5:44 am
The Beaver will destroy them all… helps that I know the writer.
posted by Jason in SLC on 1-10-2009 at 11:13 pm
I would absolutely not see “Your Dreams Suck.” It sounds so dumb to me. (Plus as a German student, every time I hear “DDR,” I think of east Germany).
The only two that I maybe would see are HELP ME SPREAD GOODNESS and SERIAL KILLER DAYS.
posted by Jenny on 1-12-2009 at 11:14 am
Did you remove “F**kbuddies from the article because it may be “Zack and Miri Make a Porno”? If so, I call shenanigans! You wrote it and published it, and people commented on it, so it’s ridiculous to go back and change the article after the fact.
Addending the article is fair, but you’re altering history! SHENANIGANS!
posted by StephNY on 4-12-2009 at 5:52 pm
I didn’t change anything.
posted by Ransom Riggs on 4-12-2009 at 9:15 pm
Help Me Spread Goodness, Knight, and Twenty Times a Lady – yes! A movie about the NIgerian scams is due.
posted by Karen on 7-5-2009 at 1:38 pm